The sun was bright and sparkling across the Crystal Empire, but many of the pegasi - crystal or otherwise - were filling in the sky with dark clouds ready for a great storm while many of the crystal and earth ponies remained on the ground, picking up quartz pebbles and crystal branches and the like, or taking down loose branches.
Everypony was working, including most of the guards.
Shining Armor grunted quietly as he used his magic to tug at an unsafely hanging crystal tree branch onto the floor. He turned his head and found a familiar teal pegasus laid on a misplaced pearly-white cloud a few feet away. Shining growled under his breath, pulled down a few more branches, and upon realising that Zephyr Breeze hadn’t moved from his little white dozing-cloud.
Everypony was at work, except for one.
“Aren’t you meant to be helping, Zephyr?” Shining asked, looking up as he approached.
“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Zephyr waved a dismissive hoof, “I’m just on my break, that’s all.”
Shining noticed the long trail of perfectly square storm clouds to the left of Zephyr’s resting spot. His eyes landed on one that was out of place, having been shaped into an almost exact image of Zephyr Breeze’s face.
Shining growled under his breath again, before sending a magenta beam at the fluffy white cloud, making it evaporate in a mere second. Zephyr landed on the floor with a thud!.
“Hey!” The pegasus exclaimed upon getting up onto his hooves, throwing a forelimb up dramatically. “I was siesta-ing!”
“Well you can do less of that and more helping instead!” Shining Armor turned on his heel and began walking back to the nearby crystal trees. Zephyr followed him.
From a distance up in the air, Soarin - who had been corralling a herd of storm clouds and putting them in place - watched the scene unfold with a frown. He sighed, shrugged to himself, and returned back to work.
“I was helping!” Zephyr defended himself.
“Stylising the clouds is not helping!” Shining retorted, before sighing. He pointed at one of the untouched crystal trees as he addressed his slacking friend: “Look, just make yourself useful and fly up there to take some of the broken branches down, okay? You got that?”
There was a stare-off. Shining’s dark glare eventually won, though, and so muttering bitterly, Zephyr flew up to the designated tree’s branches and started plucking most of the loose ones off. Once he landed, he began placing all the branches that he had collected - and the ones that Shining had previously taken down - into a pattern of squares.
Shining Armor groaned. “What are you doing?”
“I’m cleaning up your mess,” said the pegasus defiantly, sticking up his nose as he flapped around with his forelegs full. “And besides, Shiny, squares are totally gonna be the next new thing! And it’ll be moi who all of Equestria’s going to thank.”
“I think you’ve taken too many feathers to the head,” Shining Armor shook his own head with a quiet scoff. “The storm’s going to make an even bigger mess if we don’t start pruning all these branches, Zeph, so just help out.”
Zephyr looked up at the sky, and decided to change the subject now that his forelegs were no longer full. He landed on the ground and tucked his wings back into his body. “Really, though! I simply cannot imagine why all the pegasi would want to schedule such a dreadful downpour on what could have been an ab-so-lutely glorious day for ponies like me to be siesta-ing!” He proclaimed as the last of the sky was patched up with storm clouds.
Shining sighed irritatedly in reply. “Think more practically, Zeph!” he said, pulling down a good cluster of branches with his magic. “They missed a small sprinkle last week, so they’re just making up for it with a storm today, and-” he paused, and then shot the absent-minded Zephyr Breeze a greatly annoyed glare. “Say, aren’t you on the weather team?”
Zephyr cringed back and lifted a slowly rotating hoof to accentuate his next point: “Ehhhh...”
Shining’s brows knitted together as he leaned forward to go face-to-face with the pegasus. “You quit, didn’t you?”
“I wouldn’t say that...” Zephyr pulled away from Shining and averted his gaze. The two froze before a response could come. The wind began to howl and the heavy rain began to pour. Zephyr gasped and covered his head with his forehooves. “My mane! How am I going to pull off this-” he gestured to all of himself, “when it’s all wet!”
“Well, if you had just hurried up and finished the job already-”
“Ah! Ooh! No, not there! Oh!” Zephyr began hopping around in an effort to dodge the frequent raindrops, and failing terribly. “It’s coming down too fast!” He ran, and skidded to a halt so he could run back. “Oh!” He took flight, but got the same result. “Ah! Ooh! Oh, no! Shining, help me!”
Shining rolled his eyes before scanning the surrounding area. Eventually, he pointed at a white quartz bench. “There! You can hide under that bench for as long as you want until I’ve finished up here.”
Zephyr flew faster than he ever had before to the bench, but by the time he reached the bench, it was surrounded by an enormous puddle. “Oh, no! The Breeze cannot siesta there!”
Shining groaned. “And why’s that?”
“I’ll get even wetter! How am I meant to catch some Zs while wet?”
“There’s just no pleasing you, is there?” Shining remarked. “Everything’s got to be exactly the way that you want it!”
“Well, how is getting wet any use to us?” Zephyr asked.
“Please.” Shining Armor dismissed his friend’s reply. “You wouldn’t know useful if it came up and bit you on the nose!”
Zephyr gasped dramatically. “How dare you! The Breeze can be very useful!”
“No, you can’t.”
“Yes, I can!”
“No, you can’t.”
“Yes, I can.”
“Can’t!”
“Can!”
“Can’t!”
“Can-infinity!” Zephyr made himself seem bigger by stretching out his neck.
“Can’t-infinity-plus-one. Ha!” The two were face-to-face as Shining gave a single petty laugh.
The two were locked in a stare-off of annoyed glaring and furrowed brows. There was a long and suspenseful silence between the two.
“What say we just go our separate ways until this whole thing is over, huh, Shiny?” Zephyr said at last, putting a soggy hoof onto his chest. He resumed their stare-off. “Before one of us - being the smaller pony that he is - says something that we regret.”
“Why? Because you’re the one who’ll say something that he regrets first?”
“Why, you’ve got your story all the wrong way ’round, Shiny! It’s you who’ll totally say something to upset the both of us! Why, you’ll regret so hard that you’ll be crying yourself to sleep for a week!”
“I’m not saying anything,” said Shining Armor stubbornly, stepping backwards and stomping a shaven blue hoof.
“Neither am I!”
“You can just go on your way, then!” The white unicorn waved a hoof at the pegasus.
Zephyr returned the gesture to mock him. “I insist: after you.”
And, so, without taking their eyes off of the other, the two both began walking away backwards, their heads pressed down low.
There was a mighty clash of thunder and blinding white light. In that exact moment, there was a frightened girly squeal, and Zephyr whizzed through the air and wrapped his shivering gangly body around Shining Armor’s broad neck. A strand of his golden hair fell down out of his topknot in his panic.
“Er,” Zephyr gulped, “p-perhaps we should - uh - stick together for now, eh, Shiny? J-Just to find some shelter, that is.”
Shining Armor hid his fear much better, but still had to gulp. “Sure, Zeph. Whatever you say.”
“It’s nice and dry under here, you know!” Shining mocked, his relatively large frame huddled under the quartz bench. He looked down at the puddle underneath him. “Sort of.”
“Oh, that is just unacceptable!” Zephyr retorted, his crystal-leaf and -branch filled bun ready to come undone in the strong winds at any second.
“Zephyr! Shining!” A voice called in the distance. Zephyr’s eyes went wide, and the two turned to find Soarin with his door wide open waving hurriedly at them. “Zephyr! Shining!”
Shining Armor got out from under the bench and stepped next to Zephyr. “Soarin?” They recited in unison.
“Get in, dudes! It’s freezing!”
The two ran across the Crystal Empire’s centre and passed Soarin into the dry warmth of his house. They stopped at the welcome mat inside.
“Oh, thank Cadance, you saw us, Soar’!” Zephyr sighed in relief, and Soarin threw them both a towel.
“Yes, thank you.” Shining - as much as he hated to admit it - agreed with Zephyr.
“No problem, dudes. Just dry off and come into the living room. Mi casa es su casa!” He took flight and flew around the nearby door frame into the living room.
As Shining started to follow. Zephyr stopped him with his forearm before giving a pointed look down at his positively soaked hooves. “Heh,” he grinned sourly, “make sure to get your hooves.” That said, he trotted forward triumphantly into the living room.
“Yeah, well,” Shining tried to shoot back: “make sure to get your mane!”
Zephyr poked his head around the doorframe, revealing his mane to be dry, sparkling, and perfectly placed back into his signature topknot. He gave a dazzling smile with a prideful hoof on his chest: “Believe me, Shiny: styling my mane is the first thing I did!”
“And you look great, Ze’!” exclaimed Soarin from inside the living room, having completely missed the point of the remark.
Shining only growled, and got to work cleaning and shining his hooves in hopes of one-upping Zephyr’s luscious mane. “If I have to spend one more minute with that featherbrained rustbucket, I won’t be able to hold responsibility for my actions...” he grumbled to himself, shutting the front door with one of his soggy hind legs.
“Some storm, huh?” Soarin grinned, leaning over the back of the sofa to talk to Zephyr. “I’m actually real proud of what we managed to have cooked up out there!”
“Huh, that’s great, Soar’, but you know what?” Zephyr glanced around the doorframe to briefly watch Shining Armor dry off one of his hooves. “I’m just probably gonna go hit the hay. Catch some Zs, if ya catch my drift, I hope ya made the guest room the way I like it, right? Thanks.”
“Wait!” Soarin called his friend back, and back he came. “You’re sleeping over? Oh, this’ll be great!” Soarin clapped his hooves together excitedly. “We can all have one big slumber party! That is,” he frowned, and quirked a brow as he tapped his chin with one hoof, “if the two of you can’t really make it home.”
“That - uh - might be a problem,” Shining said, stepping into the living room at last. Zephyr looked down at his hooves; they were shined so well that he could see his own reflection in them.
“Oh, that’s totally mondo, dudes!” Soarin exclaimed. “We can paint each other’s hooves, do face masks, we can even have Zeph style our manes!”
“Uh...” Shining Armor began hesitantly. “I just realised that I have - er - somewhere else to be! At this moment. That I forgot. Now. So, uh, see ya!” exclaimed the unicorn, forcing a nervous laugh, slowly walking backwards. “So, I can’t possibly stay here. All night. With Zephyr.”
“But, we can finally do something about those split ends of yours, Shining,” Zephyr grinned deviously, purposely trying to wind Shining Armor up. He then gave an amused little sound, and just as Shining began to growl like a dog with rabies, the pegasus leaned in and whispered in his ear: “You wouldn’t want to upset Soarin now, would you?”
“Heh-heh,” Shining Armor’s ears flattened against his head, “I guess not.”
Soarin, seemingly oblivious to the others’ personal conflict, clapped his hooves together once again and squealed with a bright, toothy smile. “Mondo, dudes! I’ll go fix us some snacks!” He flew past them and into the kitchen, but soon popped his head back around the door. “There’s some pie in the fridge, but that’s mine, got it?”
“Yeah, ’course, Soar’. Whatever you say, goes.” Zephyr assented.
“That’s so tubular of you guys! Okay, be right back. This party calls for some cheese ’n’ mustard!”
Zephyr’s closed eyes opened widely, and he grit his teeth and cringed. Now, it was Shining’s turn to smirk and whisper into his winged peer’s ear: “What? You’re not stallion enough for a little mustard? Oh, you wouldn’t want to upset Soarin, now, would you?” He mocked, and so it was Zephyr’s turn to growl. “Now, if you excuse me, I’m gonna go use the little colt’s room.”
Zephyr sneered, “If the name fits.”
Shining gasped, growled, and swung a mighty hoof at Zephyr’s face. Luckily, the pegasus ducked.
When Shining Armor returned to the downstairs area, he was greeted by the sight of Zephyr and Soarin sitting on the sofa with their hooves in tubs of water. He gasped. “Now wait a minute!” He exclaimed, and the two turned their heads to look at him from across the back of the sofa.
“What’s the matter, Shiny? Has the Breeze bedazzled you too much for your lizard brain to handle?”
Shining growled for what felt like the billionth time that evening. “No,” he huffed, “it’s just that you made such a big deal about my wet hooves, but it’s perfectly fine if it’s yours!”
Zephyr gave a high-pitched, nasal sound of pure amusement, as if the unicorn was being absolutely and utterly idiotic. “Hngeh, don’t be silly, Shining! Psh, why this is mineral water with some scented oils and bath salts! Why, it’s like mane therapy but for your hooves!” He lifted one of his forelegs to show him. His hoof was glimmering and slicked with oil, and perfectly treated. Not a day’s hard work had met with them. “Voila! Rejuvenation!”
“We’re giving each other makeovers!” Soarin exclaimed elatedly.
“That’s - um - great, Soarin, but-”
“You should join us, dude!”
“I don’t think-”
“Aw, come on, dude, don’t be grody!”
Thunder clapped outside, and so Shining’s head dropped in defeat. “Fine.” He sighed, sitting on the armchair beside the sofa, and dunked his hind hooves into a third tub of minerals.
Zephyr gasped excitedly, and picked up the slices of cucumber from their snack tray. “Try these!” He threw them onto Shining’s face, and they slid onto his eyes from his nose and forehead. “It’ll reduce the puffiness around your eyes.”
“What the-” a moment went by before the unicorn screamed in pain. He peeled the cucumber slices off, threw them back onto the plate, and dunked his smoking face into his tub of mineral water. He sighed in relief for a moment.
“Shining! Bro, you good?” Soarin exclaimed, biting his hoof and flaring his wings.
“Ooh...” Zephyr cringed in genuine remorse, “sorry, Shiny. I - uh - guess I didn’t see the mustard, huh?”
“You think?” There was a pause, and then Shining restarted his howls of pain as he ran for the kitchen. “Mineral oil! Mineral oil! Mineral oil!”
Zephyr bit his lip as he and Soarin watched the scene. This was going to be a long, guilt-ridden night.
The second Shining Armor exited the kitchen, Zephyr Breeze was quick to whisk him around and pull him back in. Shining didn’t take too kindly to this: “What are you doing?”
“Look, for the rest of the night, let’s just - heh - try to get along, got that, Shiny-Whiny?”
“Yeah,” Shining scowled, “you burnt my eyes, not my ears.”
It was then that Zephyr noticed that the unicorn’s usually bluish eye-whites were looking particularly pink and irritant. The pegasus sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth: “Not for me. For Soarin.”
Shining relented with a sigh. “Okay, Zeph.”
The two returned to the living room, and Soarin turned around and smiled. “You guys good, now?”
“Yeah,” Shining responded. “Zephyr agreed to put the cucumbers on his eyes.”
“I did what?!”
“You agreed to put the cucumbers on your eyes.” Shining repeated, gritting his teeth with a grin. “Isn’t that right, Zeph?”
“Uh,” the gangly pegasus wavered, and then gulped loudly, “oh, yeah. I remember now.” Hesitantly, Zephyr made his way to the coffee table and - after a moment of just staring at the snack tray - Shining used his magenta magic to stuff the two cucumber slices onto Zephyr’s eyes.
The process of screaming repeated, and Zephyr ran into the kitchen. When he returned, Soarin was frowning and Shining was grinning. Zephyr, grinding his teeth together, pulled Shining back into the kitchen.
“Okay, so now can we not upset Soarin? We are, after all, Shiny-Whiny, the guests, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, okay, okay. I see your point.” Shining spat on his shaven blue hoof. “Let’s shake on it, then.”
Zephyr reeled. “You know, there’s being messy, and then there’s just being - ugh - gross!”
Shining butted heads with his opponent. “There’s spoiled, and there’s just getting on my nerves!”
Zephyr gave a long, sharp gasp: “Spoiled?!”
“You heard me!”
“Luckily,” Zephyr put a proud hoof on his chest, “I can get along with anypony, no matter how difficult he may be!”
“Hah, well,” Shining smirked cockily, “it’s a good thing I’m the most friendly pony the Empire has to offer.”
Zephyr scoffed, both in pride and in disbelief, “Yeah, well,” the hoof that rose to his chest as he turned his head to give a subtle and brief stink eye soon returned to the floor, “I’m the most, uh,” he faltered as he thought of a word, “get-alongingest pony the Empire has to offer! So there!” Closing his eyes, Zephyr stomped his ever-wagging, ever-communicating hoof on the floor in triumph.
Shining gave a sort of arrogant snort in place of a remark, or whatever the noise that would fling phlegm from your throat would be called. Then, he did actually remark - just as arrogantly - “Oh my Cadance, Zeph, that isn’t even a word. And I sho-”
“How would you knooow?” Zephyr interrupted loudly, but Shining Armor continued to speak, unwavering and undeterred.
“-uld know, my sister is the Princess of Magic and Dictionaries, after all.”
“Yeah? Well,” Zephyr huffed in an effort to think of an adequate retaliation, “my sister is the Royal Advisor! So, hah.”
“Yeah, genius? How does that help with that not being a word?”
Zephyr opened his eyes, “I’m sorry, what now?” He tucked in his flared wings. “Well, I- er- she could just ask Lord Discord to add it to the dictionary.”
There was a magical poof, and out of the air fluttered a raggedy piece of parchment, which read: I’m Lord Discord, and I approve this message.
“Lord Discord can’t do that.” Shining said.
Another poof, another note: Yes I can.
“Ew!” Zephyr cringed. “Is he, like, totally watching us, right now?”
There was a flash of lightning and a mighty roar of thunder; in that mere split second Shining and Zephyr found themselves shaking and huddling together, their limbs entangled unceremoniously. But, as it turned out, that thunder and lightning was just another flash of magic, and a third note sprawled on the floor said, Maybe.
Shining and Zephyr turned to one another, stuck out their tongues, and made simultaneous back-of-the-mouth noises to signal their own disgust. Then, they rightfully decided to return to the living room.
“Oh, dudes,” Soarin proclaimed, smiling from over the top of his sofa, “this is totes gonna be one righteous sleepover, man! Can I get an ‘awwwesome’?” He raised a pale blue hoof to his ear.
Shining Armor and Zephyr Breeze both baulked, and eventually they said together as they glared daggers at one another: “Awesome...”
As the storm continued to rage outside, Zephyr had found some curlers and applied them to his mane. Of course, this had meant that Soarin and Shining just ‘had to’ join him. He’d also found some entertaining magazines, and was the only one out of the three who read one.
Zephyr sat on the sofa with his hind legs up on the coffee table, sat back snuggly with the blue rollers (they were blue because they were perfectly manly) in his blond mane and tail, and with a magazine between his front hooves. “I must say, Soarin old buddy, old pal,” he mused aloud, making an ‘mm-mm’ sort of sound and rolling his head around to demonstrate such, “these ES-Pone Magazines are ab-so-lutely deeevine! Mm! I never knew sports-mags could be so interesting!”
Shining, who had curlers in his hair up to the wazoo and did not look too happy about it - demonstrated by how he slouched miserably in his unreclined armchair with a woefully sour expression on his face - shot Zephyr an insidious glare. An ‘I know what you’re doing’ glare.
“I mean, Cosmarepolitan and Fille, sure! But sports?” Zephyr gave a quick laugh. “Man,” he said as his short lived laughter settled in his chest, flailing one of his hooves up in exclamation, causing the issue of ES-Pone Magazine he was holding to flop, “you sure do know how to pick ’em!”
Soarin - who sat on the sofa too, propped up and his hind legs tucked in - kept his gaze on Zephyr as a coy but wry grin made its way to his muzzle; a hoof travelled to the back of his neck and fondled the short, fluffy bits of his mane that didn’t make it into the rollers. “Yeah,” he said with a faint laugh, “I do, don’t I, brah?”
There was a pause.
“Wait, are we still talkin’ about the magazines, or..?”
Zephyr interrupted by returning Shining Armor’s acidious glare with a smug one, saying, “How you holdin’ up there, Shiny? You doin’ good?”
“Just fine, Zephyr,” he grunted in turn.
Soarin’s coy smile was replaced with an amiable grin, “Cool beans, dude! Oh, man,” he slouched in his seat, and his wings stretched out behind him, causing the tip of his right wing to come into contact with the tip of Zephyr’s left; Soarin sat back up abruptly, “I think this just might turn out to be the best sleepover ever, guys.”
Shining practically ripped the curlers out of his hair with his magic and picked up the bowl of dip from the coffee table next to Zephyr’s hooves. “Alright! Enough with this girl stuff-”
With a magical poof, a note fell on the floor behind the armchair: What’s wrong with girl stuff?
“-now it’s time for: scary stories! Oo-ooh!” Through his ooh-ing, Shining chewed a particularly crunchy chip before placing the dip back on the table.
Zephyr rolled his eyes. “Please, Shiny-Whiny. You know, beyond all those creepy features, like that shaggy mane and those tacky-coloured hooves, you’re really not all that bad.” A small smirk was evident on Zephyr’s lips as he leaned forwards. “Besides, Shiny, what’s wrong with just relaxing? You know how much I like my-” Zephyr shook his hoof around and sang in a single breath: “siestaaa..!”
“I’ll go first,” Shining disregarded him, and so Zephyr huffed in annoyance and slammed his back back into the sofa, and he resumed reading ES-Pone. “So, here’s the spooky story of the slacking spectre, who drove every single pony insane with his spinelessness! Ooooh..!” Shining rolled his eyes around in their sockets and wafted his front hooves. In all honesty, he looked a little insane himself. That was probably the point, though. He stopped, and turned his head in Zephyr’s direction; the teal pegasus gave an obnoxious look over the tippy-top of his magazine; “I’m sure you are all familiar with that one.”
“Aha,” Zephyr gave a blatantly forced laugh, and placed the magazine on the coffee table with a light slap, and then retracted his hind legs and swung them around so they landed on Soarin’s lap. “No, Armor, I haven’t heard of that one. But, maybe, you head of the ab-so-lutely true, and ab-so-lutely terrifying tale of the most brutish, and most in-con-siderate ghost I have ever had the absolute displeasure of meeting! Ooh, just the thought of it’s givin’ me some real chills,” he wiggled his front hooves around, “ew, Soarin, look! I’ve got -” he gasped dramatically - “goosebumps..!”
Soarin looked at Zephyr’s hooves. “Spooky.” He said, dryly, unsure of what else he could have possibly said.
“Zephyr,” Shining said harshly, voicing both disdain and vexation, “that is not a real story.”
“I know!” Zephyr exclaimed, almost proudly, as he sat back.
“Ha! So you admit that you made it up! Admit it!” Shining Armor shot up and pointed an accusatory hoof at the pegasus.
“It’s a ghost story, Shiny,” Zephyr said obviously, “they’re all made up.”
A loud snap of thunder and lightning arose, and the room went black. Zephyr screamed; when the lights turned on again, it was revealed that he had lunged over the table - the bowl of dip was upside down on the carpet to prove it - into Shining Armor’s forelegs, his own wrapped around the larger stallion’s neck.
Zephyr gave Shining’s glare a sheepish look, giggling sheepishly: “Heheh-heh... hey therrre, palll...”
Another peal of thunder, and in the flashes of lightning that were to follow, a large and looming figure was seen lingering around the room. A door creaked, as did some floorboards, and then another door slammed. The two looked at one another, and both screamed.
The lights turned on. Everybody was now hair roller-free. Soarin was fluttering next to the room’s light switch. “Sorry, guys,” he apologised, an empathetic expression worn for his friends, “the lightning musta totally tubed the lights, ’n’ I just had to go check the fuse box. Hope you guys weren’t wiggin’ out too much while I was gone.”
Zephyr gave an overtly nervous laugh. “Yeaaah,” he said, close to being in falsetto, “wigging out. Totally weren’t doing that. We’re cool.”
Shining’s wide-eyed expression soon fell slack, and then he let his front hooves back on the floor. Unfortunately - or fortunately... it really depends how you’d want to look at it - that also meant that Zephyr had to follow them. With a thud.
Soarin winced at the impact. Then, his mouth fell open and his eyes went wide. In barely one bat of an eye, he had flown over to his coffee table with his full attention glued to the red and white goop on his rug. “Aw, man!” He proclaimed, “The dips! My rug! My poor rug!”
Now, as he sat up, it was Zephyr’s turn to wince: “Ooh...” he winced, one eye instinctively scrunching up. “Sorry, Soar’.”
“Sorry, Soarin,” Shining parroted miserably.
“No, no,” Soarin reframed, sighing, “it’s okay, guys. I’m sorry for blowing up like that.” Zephyr and Shining shared a look of brief confusion: Blowing up who and where now?. “I’ll clean this up, and then I’ll make some more snacks.”
Shining Armor turned a log that blazed in Soarin’s fireplace with a golden coloured poker equipped in his magenta magic. Meanwhile, Zephyr Breeze and Soarin were sitting on the couch, in the midst of their own little conversation that made Shining seem like the third wheel of a perfectly assembled bicycle.
“Okay, so - like -” Soarin said, leaning forward and bristling his wings in concentration, “you gotta make sure the lettuce stays on top of the mayo and melted ’mallow. Don’t just squish it in. Think of it like the silken sheets to Princess Cadance’s gnarly chambers.”
“Right, yeah, okay,” Zephyr stuck out his tongue, and narrowed in on the white-ooze-covered slice of wholegrain laid on a plate at the edge of the coffee table. Slowly, his shaky hooves began to lower a sheet of lettuce towards the beginning of a sandwich. A bead of sweat formed on his brow, and he sat back dramatically with a groan of vanquish. “I can’t do it! I’ll never be as gooda chef as you, Soar’!”
Soarin smiled gently, “Here, let me,” he said, taking the slice of lettuce from Zephyr before lowering himself towards the plate. Expertly, he placed the leaf on top of the mayo and marshmallow, followed by four slices of tomato, a sprinkle of black pepper from a strangely oversized grinder, a slice of cheese, and some carrot, all topped off with a thin square of chocolate and the topper of a wholegrain slice twinning with the one underneath everything else. “Aaand... voila, brah! The perfect sandwich!”
Zephyr took a noisy bite out of the sandwich before Soarin could properly take in the sight of his work. Nevertheless, he watched as Zephyr - magenta eyes closed - moaned in delight. “Mm! Mm, ith rea’y goot!”
Shining groaned and rolled his eyes. “Ugh, Zeph, that’s so gross.”
Once Zephyr finished the sandwich, he let out a small burp and leaned back into the back of the sofa, stretching out his wings as he did so.
Shining continued to grimace, “You know,” he scoffed, “you could at least say ‘excuse me’.”
“Soarin doesn’t mind!” Zephyr said, “Do you, Soar’?”
As Soarin opened his mouth to reply, Shining spoke again, “It’s rude.”
“Ugh, fine,” Zephyr positioned himself defiantly, before saying: “Excuse me, Soarin.”
Soarin smiled cheerily, “You’re excused!” Zephyr and Shining stared at one another for some time - angrily, in fact - so Soarin decided to change the subject. “Hey dudes, how’s about some truth or dare?”
“I’ll go first!” Zephyr declared with fervour, raising an excited hoof and waving it around. “I dare Shining to do something without leaving behind a mess, for a change!”
Shining huffed, “You realise how ironic that sounds, right? Coming from you?”
“Hm!” Zephyr harrumphed arrogantly. “Well, if you can’t do it...”
“Yeah, well,” Shining fell short on a witty reply, and decided that pushing his head in Zephyr’s face would suffice. They were so close that Shining’s horn slid into Zephyr’s thick blond mane. “I dare Zephyr to lighten up, and to stop obsessing over every little detail and going Twilynanas all over the place!”
“Um,” Soarin pursed his lips, frowning, “dudes? You do know that’s not how you play, right?”
Zephyr began huffing and puffing incredulously, “I think the truth of this situation, Shiny-Whiny, is that somepony could stand to pay a little more attention to detail.”
“And I think somepony can stand to do a little more work around here and help out when he’s told to.”
“Dudes!” Soarin exclaimed sharply. “You’re meant to dare each other or fish for some serious goss. Not-”
“Then I dare Zephyr to step outside and get himself all wet so that his precious mane gets ruined again!” Shining interrupted, pointing a hoof at the teal pegasus.
Zephyr reeled, drawing in a mighty gasp. He stuck his muzzle in the air: “Fine! Hmph!” With that hmphed, he got up and trotted out of the living room. A door opened, the sound of rain made itself apparent - so did whimpering, which Shining snickered into his shaven blue hoof at - and eventually silenced as Zephyr reentered, his wings slack with the tips dragging on the floor, matching his mane, which had fallen down out of its topknot, running into his eyes and over his ears, and absolutely, completely, positively sopping wet.
He looked like the pony equivalent to a shaggy sheepdog that had been herding sheep through a muddy highland field late at night.
Zephyr was shaking with cold, and as he used a hoof to push his mane out of his field of vision, Shining’s snickering evolved into a glorious display of amusement. “Oh, wow,” he guffawed, “you look great, Zeph. Real great! Pfft-haha!”
“Okay, Jose,” Zephyr stomped towards Shining in anger, “now you’ve really upset The Breeze! I dare you, Shining,” he prodded a thin hoof into Shining’s broad white chest, “to dress up all fancy - you know,” he scoffed, “with the glitter and the sparkles, make it really match your name.”
There was a brief and judgemental pause. “Hey, wait! That’s two dares!”
“Is not.”
“Is too.”
“Is not.”
Shining drew in a deep, agitated breath. “Fine!” And out of the living room he stomped, only to return donning a glittery, sequined blue tasseled vest, which had been finished off with some pale pink frilly lace and a darker large pink bow around his neck, twisted to the side, and a mane that was heavily styled, and slicked back with shiny hair gel. “Happy?” He grunted.
Zephyr gave an amused little laugh. “I’d be lying if I didn’t say... hm, very.”
“Guys? Do I ever get a turn?” Soarin piped up, almost timidly.
“I dare you to enter the next jousting tournament that comes to the Empire!”
“I dare you not to enter the next jousting tournament that comes to the Empire!”
Shining stomped his hoof, gritting his teeth, “I dare you to not comb your mane a thousand times before you go to bed every night!”
Zephyr scoffed, “And I dare you to comb yours even just once!”
Soarin gave a cautious smile, followed by a wry laugh, “Haha, dudes. You’re both, like, super dare-devil-dogs... but maybe we should - uh - play something else?” He asked, his voice diminishing meekly as he coiled backwards.
Shining Armor’s face contorted into a sadistic grin, and his horn ignited in magenta; he was now back to normal, from shaggy mane to bare back. Zephyr was also back to normal - hipsterly styled and dry - and yelped as a cushion whacked him over the head. “Pillow fight!”
“Wait, wha-” Zephyr yelped again as a dozen pillows attacked him at once.
“Oh, dear,” Soarin meeped, “I think we’re gonna need more snacks.” And off he flew to the kitchen to keep out of the way of Shining’s pillowy wrath.
Zephyr lifted his head from the mountain of cushions and throw-pillows that engulfed him. Spitting out some white feathers, he pointed a hoof and announced, “It, is, on!”
The fight ensued. Zephyr used his gangly frame and ability to fly as a leverage whilst Shining used his strength and horn. There was kicking, bucking, flailing, flinging, gnawing, dropping, smashing, and even some dogging. No, that last one certainly wasn’t right. To put it bluntly, it was obvious that - even if it was by just a smidgeon - Shining was definitely, undoubtedly winning.
When Soarin returned through the kitchen door frame with a tray consisting of some guac’ and cheeses in his forehooves, he winced at the sight. Feathers of non-pegasus origin littered the floor and sofa; some cushions laid flat on the floor or draped across something, split and deceased; one of Zephyr’s eyes was red with a blackening ring encircling it; a throw-pillow sat on Shining’s horn, which had come through the other side; and in the far corner of the room the scattered pieces of Soarin’s grandmother’s urn-- er, his family-friendly white and blue floral vase had fallen.
Soarin’s green eyes widened. He put down the snack tray and slowly fluttered his way over to the fallen vase, agape and silent. A slow, awkward croaking noise started to exit Soarin’s throat as he fumbled for a word and lowered to the vase. With tears welling in his eyes he sniffled wetly and began scooping at the china shards in what could only be described as desperation. Perhaps even grief. “Nana Gusty!”
Zephyr and Shining’s jaws dropped, and they side-eyed one another in shock. Sickening, gunky-throated shock. What had they done?
Soarin sniffed again and rubbed at his eyes with a foreleg. “Maybe- Maybe we should just go to bed.”
“Soarin-”
Soarin headed towards the stairs, “I’ll set the guest bedroom up for you dudes.”
Shining and Zephyr laid in the guest bed with their backs facing each other and the blanket clutched tautly at their shoulders and chins. The tension in the room was thick with whispery bickering.
“Keep your wet hooves on your side of the bed,” Zephyr hissed under his breath.
“I dried them, remember?” Shining hissed right back.
The pegasus turned around to face Shining. “You might have missed a bit!”
“I most certainly did not,” Shining decided to face Zephyr, and now the two were face to face. Until SHining stuck one of his shaven blue hooves between them. “See? Dry as a bone!”
Zephyr gasped for dramatic effect, “Bones have blood on them, Shiny. Bones are definitely not dry. So that expression doesn’t even make any sense.”
“They’re as dry as your mane, then. How’s about that?”
“Jokes on you,” Zephyr huffed triumphantly, grinning and closing his eyes, He put a hoof to his chest. “I’m really sweaty because Soarin left the heater on!”
Shining made a loud noise of complete and utter disgust and pushed himself to the edge of the bed, away from Zephyr. Then, he turned around huffily and took the blanket with him.
“Oh, come on! You’re acting like you’ve never sweated before.”
“Being in bed with a sweaty Zephyr Breeze isn’t really something I wanted to check off the bucket list.”
There wasn’t an answer for some time, until Zephyr’s wide-eyed expression turned into a cocky smirk, “But, it’s on your bucket list?” Shining growled. This was definitely a family-friendly conversation to be having. Definitely. Absolutely. Zephyr sighed pridefully. “Can’t blame you, Whiny. After all, who can resist The Breeze and his-” Zephyr slid himself closer to Shining Armor, before whispering deeply, “amor?”
Shining opened his eyes and squinted, before pushing himself into Zephyr with such force that he fell rump-and-wing-first onto the floor with a blunt thump.
Zephyr brushed himself off as he got up, and with great annoyance plopped himself back into his dent on his side of the bed. “Suit yourself,” he grumbled grumpily, and tugged at the blanket with his teeth so it now covered him, and not Shining.
“Hey!” Shining sat up abruptly and exclaimed.
There was a knocking on the wall above the bed. “Hey, dudes, is everything okay in there?” asked Soarin.
“Fine, Soarin,” the two stallions chorused.
Shining resumed quietly, “Why, you good for nothing, inconsiderate brat!”
“I can’t hear you,” Zephyr feigned a sing-song, “I’m all toasty. Sleeping.”
Shining Armor growled again. With his magic, he snatched the blanket so that it only covered him once more.
Zephyr got out of bed. “Get up.”
“No.”
The pegasus almost echoed Shining’s signature growl of the night to a tee. But, he relented, and turned around and trotted to the door.
Shining peeked; “What are you doing?”
“Going in Soarin’s room.”
Shining closed his eyes again. The bedroom door creaked open, and hoofsteps down the hall followed. Light knocking. A creak of a different door. Muffled voices coming through the wall. Shining scrunched his eyes shut even harder. A door closed.
“Thanks for lettin’ me sleep in here, buddy,” Zephyr said smoothly. “I appreciate it.”
“Oh - uh - yeah. No problem.”
Just as Shining relaxed, ready to doze off, new weight was applied to the space in the bed behind him. He turned around, and was met with a coyly smiling Soarin laying on his back. “..Soarin?”
“Oh, hey, dude,” Soarin rubbed the back of his head with a hoof. “Ya mind sharin’ some of that blanket?”
With a cross look on his face, Shining Armor got up and marched straight down the hall and into Soarin’s bedroom. Soarin had of course followed him. “For Cadance’s sake, Zeph! Give Soarin his room back!”
Zephyr sat up, the quilt bundled around his waist as he pointed right back at Shining’s own accusatory point. “I never said that he had to leave!”
Shining gave Soarin a look requiring more information. A sheepish smile was given in turn. The unicorn turned back to Zephyr. “Just come back to the spare room...” Shining groaned and face-hoofed.
“Nuh-uh! You’re just gonna hog all the covers!” Zephyr said adamantly, crossing his forelegs and sticking up his nose.
“To be fair, dude, you were kinda hoggin’ all the covers.” Soarin admitted. Shining growled at this, and the pale blue pegasus recoiled.
Zephyr patted the space in the bed next to him. “Come on, Soar’, you can crash right next to me.”
Soarin’s wings opened, and so did his mouth as he was about to respond, but Shining cut across: “Back to bed, now.”
“Make me!”
Shining clenched his hooves and lit up his horn, pulling Zephyr out of Soarin’s bed. The cyan pegasus grabbed onto one of the corner knobs of the bedframe and proclaimed his need of help. Shining continued to yank at Zephyr’s hind legs.
The back-and-forth continued, until Shining suddenly stopped his use of magic, which sent Zephyr proverbially flying into the wall. He crash-landed upside down with his tail hung onto his stomach. “You did that on purpose!” He claimed.
“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,” Shining said haughtily.
Zephyr got up clumsily. Leaning over the bed towards Shining by placing his front hooves on top, he said, “Now who’s inconsiderate?”
“Uh, dudes?”
Shining put his hooves on the bed so that he and Zephyr came just a hair’s breadth away from being nose-to-nose. “It was just a little fall. You’re fine.”
Zephyr went to get back into bed, but Shining pulled the blanket away from him. “Shining,” Zephyr said sharply, “you will give me back Soarin’s blanket right now!”
“Will not.”
“Dudes?” Soarin called, only to be once again drowned out by all the arguing.
Zephyr grabbed the other end with his teeth and pulled. “Will too.”
“Will not.”
“Will too!”
“Will not!”
“Will too!”
“Will not!”
“Will-”
“EEENOUGH!” Soarin yelled, bursting into the air so suddenly that a loose feather or two fluttered down to the floor. Zephyr and Shining stared at him in surprise with the blanket in their mouths. “Tonight was supposed to be fun while we all waited out the storm. But thanks to you two constantly arguing, and fighting, I can’t say that it has been!”
Zephyr dropped the blanket immediately, and lifted a hoof to say, “Well, I’ve been trying my very-very best to get along!”
Shining scoffed wryly and bitterly, dropping the blanket too. “No, you most certainly have not.”
“Have too.”
“Have not,” the unicorn gently stomped his hoof against the floorboards, “if anypony has, here, it’s me.”
“Well,” Soarin put his hooves back on the floor and sighed, “I hope you’re both happy. You ruined our night. From the hair-rollers, the spilled dip, to the pillow-fighting, I dunno if anything else could possibly go wrong!” A ferocious snap of lightning and thunder sounded outside, and just beyond the window the lightning was seen singing the middle of a crystal tree. Soarin gulped. “Er, sorry I asked.”
With the lights now on, the three stallions rushed to the window to watch the wobbly tree with great fear. They gasped when they saw it lean at a particularly violent angle towards someone’s house.
Shining turned to Zephyr, “You see?” He asked aggressively, and the pegasus reeled in shame. “That right there is exactly why we all need to take down all those loose branches. Not turn them into fancy shapes and rearrange them into pretty pictures!”
“But Shiny-”
“Out of my way,” Shining retorted angrily and opened the window with his magic. Then, he grabbed the blanket on Soarin’s bed and started twisting it around like a lasso.
Zephyr put out a desperate hoof, “But Shining, wait! Stop! Don’t-” he cringed as Shining harnessed the crystal tree with the blanket, and then tugged at it with all his might. But, it was too late, and as physics usually does what it does, the tree came crashing down into Soarin’s bedroom. Into the side of his house. Through the wall and roof.
Soarin was not happy. Nor was Zephyr, but especially Soarin.
Zephyr held a pillow over his head, and fell onto his haunches. “I did try to tell you that it’d just fall down on us.”
“Well, you should’ve tried harder,” Shining Armor said, looking over the crystal tree at Zephyr. He froze: Soarin’s room was wrecked, and Zephyr was cowering under his pillow as he tried to gather any nearby fallen objects. “Soarin,” Shining said sadly as Soarin appeared, “I’m really sorry.”
“It’s...” Soarin began, but corrected himself: “Well, it’s not okay, bro! You both ruined my carpet, shredded all of my pillows, wrecked my house, and-” his voice had slowly raised; “-you smashed my Nana!”
Shining cringed. He popped out of the tree next to Zephyr, who was now placing objects back on what shelves were left. “Zeph, what are you doing?”
“Cleaning up your mess!” Zephyr jabbed a hoof into Shining’s chest.
“Well then, stop sweating over all that small stuff when you should be helping to move the tree out of Soarin’s bedroom!” No reply. “I said, get over here and help me!” Zilch. Nada. “Come on, already!” Nothing. Shining sighed, and his scowl relaxed into something more sincere. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear?” Zephyr turned around, his eyes wide in surprise. “I should have-” another sigh, “I should have listened to you when you noticed where this branch would end up. Your annoying, Twilynanas attention to detail would have saved us from, well... this.”
Zephyr lowered the pillow from over his head and squeezed it tightly.
“But, right now, you need to stop with picking up all of that little stuff and help pick up the one big thing in here that actually matters!” Shining had found himself yelling over the howling winds. “Please!”
Zephyr’s eyes went wide. “Did you just say what I think you said?”
“Don’t make me repeat it.”
The pegasus grinned, “I don’t know. The wind’s pretty loud...”
Shining groaned and rolled his eyes.
Zephyr looked back at the crystal tree, “But,” he grimaced, “I’ll get all dirty. And wet. And icky! Eurgh!”
Shining growled and muttered in anger. He refrained, and tried a calmer approach: “That is usually the side effect of hard work. But, you’re going to have to get over it, because... I can’t fix this all by myself. I- I need your help, Zeph. Please?”
“Oh,” Zephyr groaned, putting a reluctant hoof forward, “fine.” That said, he stepped into the storm and started chipping away at the crystal.
Eventually, the crystal tree had been paved into a new shape: a miniature matchstick version of the Crystal Palace. Zephyr was covered in ick, and was absolutely drenched. Now, all that was left of the tree, really, was a piece of log hanging from the window. Shining was about to buck it, but Zephyr glared at him, which coaxed him to gently nudge it off with one of his forehooves.
Shining closed the window, and magically, the side of Soarin’s house now seemed untouched. He smiled at Zephyr, who smiled back.
The teal pegasus looked down at himself. “Ugh!” He whimpered. “I look positively hideous!” He draped a foreleg over his eyes dramatically.
Shining rubbed his chin in thought, and then he grinned and his horn ignited in magenta. On Zephyr’s eyes he planted two slices of cucumber. “Better?”
Zephyr chuckled, “Thanks.” He waved a foreleg out to try and touch Shining, but after a few failed attempts the unicorn decided to do it himself, before the two embraced.
Soarin smiled at them. “Aw, duuudes!”
The following day, which was sunny with just a few puddles left over, Sunburst sat on a quartz bench listening to Soarin, Zephyr and Shining’s (mostly just Zephyr and Shining’s) story.
“And then,” Zephyr exclaimed, “the tree came crashing down! And Shining screamed like a little girl!”
“Did not,” Shining argued.
“Did too.”
“Did not!”
“Did too!” There was a tense pause, before the two broke out into a series of giggles.
“And then Zephyr saved us by turning the tree into a replica of the Crystal Palace!” Soarin chimed in proudly gesturing to the actual life-sized Crystal Palace.
“Fascinating,” Sunburst awed, “so even though the two of you spent the whole night arguing, the two of you eventually worked out your differences and came together! Wow, I- uh- i-if you don’t mind,” he adjusted his glasses, “I’d like to write a letter to Lord Discord about this lesson on friendship!”
Shining and Zephyr shared a look and winced.
Soarin beamed regardless of this. “Sure, dude!”
Sunburst smiled and took out his quill and parchment with his golden aura: “Dear Lord Discord,
It's hard to believe that two ponies who seem to have so little in common could ever get along. But I found out that if you embrace each other's differences, you just might be surprised to discover a way to be friends after all.”
Discord set down the letter and turned his attention to the yellow pegasus sitting opposite him sipping her tea. He smiled at her. Fluttershy smiled back, and put a gentle hoof on the top of his right paw.