"Jamjars," I said at some point after dinner was done and the others had wandered away. "Can you tell me about Sosa and the Steel District?"
Jamjars looked up from the kitchen sink, the dishes washing themselves under the careful guidance of her horn. "Old Sosa? Of course. But there's a lot to say about them. Why?"
Because I'm trying to distract myself from the fact that my best friend apparently just took a job with a creature that can screw with memories and possibly more, and don't want to talk to her about it because the last thing she needs is to worry that the first thing she's achieved in Ironridge is actually sinister, I thought. But I couldn't say that, so... "Just trying to learn about the city. I heard them mentioned in a newspaper when I was out just now."
"Ah." Jamjars nodded, accepting this as a perfectly reasonable explanation. "Your Ironridge history is shabby, then? Better I give the whole crash course?"
I swallowed. "Sure."
"Well," Jamjars began, still focusing on the dishes. "Sosa is the name of the adventurer who first discovered the Ironridge crater about eight hundred years ago, and our story starts then. The mountains around here are headwaters to a river called the Yule, which runs east for countless miles until it reaches the ocean that separates the Griffon Empire from Varsidel. In those days, all the trade between east and west went through Varsidel, and everyone stayed away from the middle of the mountains. That's what initially let Varsidel grow so big and powerful, before it fell into decline. Everyone thought this area was impassable badlands. But the crater Sosa found had a tiny little bubble of unique climate that made it well-suited for growing fruit, and the mountains around it were rich with ore, and Sosa thought there may have been something else special about it as well. So, he founded a city out here."
She scrubbed for a moment, thinking. "Now, despite being full of resources, Ironridge was incredibly isolated from the rest of the world. Boating down the river to the east, and then north to the nearest Varsidelian port? Nearly a year's round trip. And don't even think about hiking the badlands. Shattered rock and vertical impasses as far as the eye can see. A team of endurance fliers could make it, but it would be risky, and certainly not much room for cargo. So, in order to interact with the rest of the world, Ironridge became a society of boat-builders. They made craft that were specialized to the Yule, so they could trade with other nations. By the time Ironridge graduated from a far-off promised land to a proper location on all the maps, two hundred years had passed. Two hundred long years of Ironridge sailors sailing out with their products, and returning with wealth and riches to sequester in their city. Imagine growing up on rumors that there was a fantastic city of gold and silver out there, and only its residents could take you to it. Ah, what a romantic age..."
That was cool. Seriously cool. I shivered slightly, imagining it, and hoped the modern-day world still had stuff like that for me to find. Although, wasn't that what Princess Celestia's land sort of was...?
"Anyway, when Ironridge did get on all the maps," Jamjars went on, "it was so rich that everyone wanted to go there, despite its terrible location. Ponies came, and ponies stayed, and as the population grew they spread up the mountain so the valley could stay full of orchards and the riverbank could stay full of shipyards. That period of growth was when they decided to keep the city as a whole called Ironridge, and rename the shipyards and work areas in honor of their founder. That became Sosa."
She sighed. "For a long time, Ironridge had a golden age. All the ponies who came here were the most daring, the most adventurous, and all that talent accumulating in one place had an effect on the culture. We were ambitious. We were great. Oh, what a glorious time to have been alive... When they made up the district system, they called Sosa the Steel District. They're the same thing, in case you've heard both names. Would that it could have lasted forever, if not for one invention to come out of all that genius: airships."
"Airships?" My ears twitched. "What did they do?"
"Several things," Jamjars said. "First, they made sea ships completely impractical. Lifelong sailors weren't thrilled. Second, they positioned Ironridge at the middle of the world rather than the extreme fringe of it. The sudden proximity brought economic connections and opportunities... but also interest from nations we had never learned to fend off."
"Wait, back up," I urged. "Sailors weren't thrilled? Why didn't they all just start making airships instead?"
Jamjars shook her head. "Oh, they tried. For a while, it even looked like they'd be great at it. Then a highly-publicized accident soured the public on the concept for a few short years, and those were all it took for other interests to get their hooves in the door. Once that technology was on the table, the world changed overnight. And while Sosa buried their heads in the ground and tried to make better and faster sea ships, Yakyakistan financed a giant skyport up in the Sky District. The moment its gates were opened, Sosa went from being the front door of Ironridge to its most backwater district."
My eyes widened.
"They had the money to survive it, of course," Jamjars went on, her voice turning sour. "Vaults full of gold and treasure can't evaporate overnight. But there was nothing left for the Sosans to do. No sea boats that needed to be built, no cargo that needed to be ferried, and all the tourists were entering through the opposite side of the city. That money kept us alive and living in material comfort, but no amount of handouts can repair a crushed pride."
"You sound like you lived through this," I ventured.
Jamjars shrugged. "My father was a sacked Sosan engineer. The first in his line of succession to break from that role in eight generations, which is actually quite short as far as some Sosan dynasties are concerned. He took it hard enough that he skipped town without telling anyone. My mother was a floozy and a cow who never learned how to soldier on, so my siblings and I more or less raised ourselves in her home. As one of the better-adjusted ponies to grow up amid that mess, I think I'm entitled to have a strong opinion on those days."
"So was that the Steel Revolution from two decades ago?" I asked. "Icereach history made it sound like there was a big change a few months before I was born."
Jamjars chuckled. "The Steel Revolution? Oh, no, that was when a bunch of jaded, vengeful Sosans formed a militia and blew up the skyport. Started a nice little war with Yakyakistan that lasted a whole couple hours until the grown-ups arrived and put a stop to it. By the time the dust settled, the Steel District was nothing but a smoking memory, too. Not like anyone was working there, by then..."
My jaw dropped. "What?"
"...What? They didn't teach you about that?" Jamjars blinked. "Figures. Guess a colony that's supposed to symbolize Ironridge-Yakyakistani cooperation wouldn't talk up the fact that one of those nations technically invaded the other for a day. If I were them, I'd turn it into a moralizing story about how to make up after a fight. But alas, I was too young to get the position at the time... Guess they thought I was too nice to be a propaganda artist."
I was still stunned. "What...?"
"It's a crazy world out there." Jamjars shrugged. "Believe me. I saw more of it than most."
"How does everyone survive?" I asked. "Normal ponies, I mean. Like the ones you pass in the street every day."
"Chance," Jamjars said, as casually as though it were a dinner conversation. "Everyone dies eventually. It's just a matter of when. Maybe you'll get to grow old, or maybe you'll die young from circumstances outside your control. After all, a war that kills ten percent of the population still leaves ninety percent alive."
I furrowed my brow in disbelief. "That's a stupid answer."
"You think so too?" Jamjars looked up from her dishes. "I'm certainly not an accomplished and influential mare because I want to lie down and take it when my destiny comes to call. I hoard power and connections because when something like that happens again, I want to have a choice. I want to matter. It's selfish, I suppose, but everyone should be allowed to want that. As for me, I just had a great teacher."
"Who?" I asked, feeling like the air had grown still.
"Starlight," Jamjars said, taking a step away. "Life isn't fair, and no one hated that more than her. I don't want to oversell her when all I have are memories that are older than you are, but she was special in just how big she would think to solve her problems. She always talked in terms of 'the world' and 'everything' instead of 'here' and 'me'. I don't think she just wanted to get ahead in life and win an unfair game. She was the kind of pony who wanted to change the rules and make it fair."
I listened, wrapping my head around what Jamjars was saying. "So, like... she wanted life to be more simple? More black and white?" I tilted my head. "I thought the whole point of growing up was to recognize that the world is more complex than that. Doesn't every kid see it that way at some point?"
Jamjars chuckled. "True. But that involves making sacrifices. Have you ever given up on wishing for something to be perfect because you realized it just wasn't possible?"
Immediately, I thought of the night sky, the ether river and the way I felt staring into them. Of that nameless, perfect something I wanted to find, that would know me better than I knew myself and benevolently wipe away my fears. Of the unknown, and how it meant there was always a chance the things I was looking for were still out there for me to find, because I didn't know for sure that they weren't.
If I had to, I could probably set those dreams down and get on with living a normal life. Other ponies clearly did it, after all. But the fact was, I didn't have to. And not only that, but doing so would be stupid when I suddenly had an entire city before me to search and learn about and discover. This was currently the best time in my life to go out and chase after my dreams.
"No," I said, shaking my head. "But I know what you mean."
"Starlight couldn't do that," Jamjars said. "She couldn't rest with anything less than an absolute, perfect result."
Is that a bad thing? I wanted to ask. But Jamjars' tone made it pretty obvious this wasn't a mark of a peaceful, enlightened life, so... "But you said she was your teacher."
Jamjars shrugged. "As you said, the point of growing up is to recognize that the world is more complex than black and white. That includes seeing the wisdom of your enemies, and in this case, seeing the flaws of your idols. Starlight's determination wasn't balanced and didn't make her happy. But it taught me a lot about what can be done if you push hard enough at the boundaries of possibility. And even if I can't do what she did, everyone needs a compass to guide them. The simplicity of the things she was fighting for might not jive with reality in its present state, but what's to stop us from wishing?"
I shuffled my forehooves in uncomfortable thought. Pushing at the boundaries of possibility? Being superstitious didn't have many downsides, but one big one was that I didn't have a roof on my worldview that could be used to judge the plausibility of assertions. Did Jamjars idolize someone who was no longer around to knock themselves off any pedestals, or had Starlight really been someone who could achieve the impossible?
"How come you're telling me all this?" I asked, suddenly curious. "Isn't it pretty personal?"
"Yes," Jamjars told me. "It is. But there's a difference between being personal and being something you can't tell anyone, and you looked like you could use an example to learn from."
I squinted. Maybe that was how it worked for other ponies, but for me, personal and secret were one and the same. I was different.
Jamjars saw my look and sighed. "...Right. We've really gotta get you your own room at some point. Privacy is a young, distrustful mare's everything, after all..."
I nodded. That would be nice.
"By the way," Jamjars said, returning to the dishes. "Old topic, but if you're curious about Ironridge recent history, you should wander up to the Sky District sometime. Take a break from the hot air and see the ruins. The locals are a mix of hermits, folks who can't afford air conditioning, and militia types who can't resist dancing on the skyport's grave, but you know how to handle yourself. Might even be able to be comfortable in your clothes in the day, and the views are fantastic."
I nodded more firmly. That did sound like an interesting thing to do, actually, but I had already walked for miles today, so maybe tomorrow. Besides, I had started this conversation to avoid thinking about Corsica and Egdelwonk, but maybe now I needed to talk to Corsica to avoid thinking too hard about a pony Jamjars might think of the way I thought of a god.
"Halcyon!" Corsica looked upbeat when I entered our room. Standing by her vanity, she was currently in the middle of doing something delicate and complex to her mane. "Good timing. Here, hold this."
"Err... okay..." Her aura floated out a selection of clips and bottles, and I had to use my teeth along with my wings to balance them all. "Hi?" I said around a hair clamp.
"Trying something new today," Corsica muttered, focused on the mirror. "Here, what do you think of this?"
I worked the clamp in my mouth so that I could more easily speak. "Which part?"
Corsica was doing something asymmetrical, with a mix of braids and straight locks that made it hard to tell what was finished and what was in progress. "I dunno!" she said. "I'm improvising."
Oh, really...? "Can I help?"
"Knock yourself out."
I shifted around the things I was carrying so I could more properly work, circled around behind Corsica's shoulder, and started fiddling. "Tidying up for the new gig?"
"Something like that," Corsica said.
"Well, come on, spill the details!" I urged. "How'd you get it, and what'll it be like? How'd the interview go?"
Corsica shrugged, careful to keep her head steady. "It's not that exciting. Just a janitor job. I mostly took it to annoy Graygarden if he ever finds out. Not that he'd care, though."
"Janitor? Like, taking out the trash?"
"Yup," Corsica said, watching me work in the mirror. "Still, can't be that bad. Once my credentials are printed, I'll probably have access to half the rooms in this building, or more. Can't take out the trash if you can't reach it, right?"
"Makes sense," I answered, pulling a few loose hairs from my comb. "Glad you've found something, at least. Cool boss?"
Corsica hesitated. "...I'm not sure. His name is Wonk. He seems pretty knowledgeable. I asked Jamjars about him before I said yes, and he's apparently technically Cold Karma top brass, except the others on the board of directors have nothing to do with him. She likes him, though. Thinks Lilith and the others will be less likely to take any swipes at me if I'm flying his flag."
I frowned. "Does it... bother you, at all, that the main reason we're supposed to get jobs is so we can't get hired for other jobs by ponies who have it out for us? Not just because we've been duped before, but... it feels like admitting that sort of thing is common."
Corsica gave me a worried look. "Halcyon, you don't think it's about them trying to hire us, do you? I'm talking about conscription."
"Conscription?" My ears perked in alarm.
"The big one we have to worry about is a pony called Emblazon," Corsica told me. "Director of National Defense. Ironridge's air force has been scrambling lately due to that pirate king in Varsidel. If anyone finds out we've been trained by Yakyakistani soldiers... That's the kind of experience that could make us too good to lose. And you'd almost prefer becoming one of Lilith's experiments over getting shipped off in the military."
"What do Lilith's experiments entail...?" I asked, uncertain.
Corsica pinned her mane in place with her aura and turned around to face me with a blank expression. "Eugenics? Breeding? Trying to find ways to make batponies a little less extinct that usually involve participants becoming parents?"
I blinked blankly.
Corsica grabbed my shoulders. "Halcyon, where have you been this past week?"
"Learning about the city?" I pointed at the door with a wing. "The city that we came here to learn about...?"
"Didn't think to check the top floor of the Ice District?" Corsica guessed. "Go see for yourself who's in charge?"
I shrugged weakly. "Err, no. I was out on the streets."
"Welp." Corsica let me go. "Guess we've been splitting up to cover our bases. Point is, don't be unaffiliated. Want me to ask Wonk if he's got a spare position for you?"
I set my jaw and wondered if he had somehow put her up to this. Why couldn't I just be free...?
"I'll see what he's got next time I meet him," Corsica declared. "Could be a while, though. I've already got a training buddy I'm supposed to meet in a few days for onboarding, so the boss probably does things hooves-off unless I go looking. Anyway, what's the word on the streets? Anything you've seen that I've missed?"
"Depends what all you know," I said. "I'm still getting the feel of the place. It's complex. Got a few organizations and places I want to stake out to see what they're about. Gimmie a few days, and I'll get back to you?"
"...Right." Corsica turned back to the mirror. "Just remember, don't slack on getting your name in with someone high up enough to resist a draft. Talk to Jamjars. Junior Karma himself is apparently the most trustworthy of the bunch, but he doesn't run a division so he doesn't have many posts. And if you really can't find anything, you could probably always work for Jamjars herself. But we'll be a lot freer and have a lot more peace of mind once this is all taken care of."
Right.
"Good talk," I said, nodding and stepping towards the door, leaving Corsica to finish her mane. "I'll go see what I can do."
I had already been out today to explore the city, and I was still worn out from the effects of the heat, but my mind told me I needed a walk, and so that was what I went to do. Or at least a train ride, since that didn't involve any effort.
The night was wearing on as my train sped out from the Ice District, stopping at the station for Eaststone Mall. I didn't get off, leaning against a window instead. The train wasn't very full, so I figured I'd ride it until that changed, then turn around and go home.
I had a whole city to look at, but instead my thoughts drifted to Corsica. Our conversation rattled me, and not even because of Egdelwonk. Corsica had been proactive, exploring the Ice District, learning about the city, and arguably found out a lot more than me. And I wasn't sure I liked it.
But why didn't I? Shouldn't I be happy she had her hooves under her again? For that matter, shouldn't I be relieved? None of the reasons I liked Corsica in Icereach had anything to do with her being fragile or easily overwhelmed. She was supposed to be a cool operator who shrugged off her problems. This other Corsica, the one who got heatstroke and then claimed it was on purpose for reasons that sounded made up... I didn't like her. She smelled like desperation, and reminded me of the avalanche and the Aldebaran incident.
And now, Corsica was being cool again. So why did I feel so... so much like something I had just found was being taken away?
I mulled over it again and again, and came up with nothing until the train stopped and a whole flood of ponies poured in. That was my cue to leave.
The train platform I emerged on was a skinny one, with a thin glass railing separating the walkway from the cliff edge. It was chipped in places, where things had rammed it and no one had ever come for repairs.
To my right was a good view of the Ice District, a towering wall of stone and concrete linking two mountains, a few telltale metal spires poking up beyond. To hear Gerardo tell it, that had been a dam, and was now a symbol of controversy in the city. I wondered if it was because the Sosa that built it was now a memory.
Ironridge's history... Seeing the city, learning the city... Maybe I was just jealous that Corsica had beaten me to it. That was probably it. I stretched out a hoof, the Night District's web of lights twinkling below me...
"Love life troubles, Halcyon?"
"Aaah!" I jumped, my fur standing on end in surprise. That was Egdelwonk's voice! Where...?
"Over here," he whispered. I looked harder, and suddenly realized his eyes were glowing out at me from the cracked lid of a public trash receptacle.
"Are you hiding in a garbage can?" I hissed, stalking closer. Most of the hoof traffic had dissipated as the train pulled away, but the few ponies who remained didn't seem the least bit concerned with what I was doing.
Egdelwonk shrugged. "Well I assumed that much would be obvious, but if you'd like me to spell it out for you, indeed I am."
"Why are you hiding in a garbage can?" I pressed, slightly more concerned with this fact than whether he was stalking me or why he had snapped up Corsica.
"Because it's my domain," Egdelwonk said matter-of-factly, edging back the lid a little and poking his head out. "What else do you expect a self-respecting regent of rubbish to do with his free time?"
"Well, let's see." I sat down and folded my forelegs. "First, something other than stalking me after I turned down your job offer. Second, something other than hiring my friend to get under my skin."
Egdelwonk chortled. "Bothering you is just a bonus. I hired Corsica because I think she'll be a valuable asset to my Junior Dumpster Despot Corps, and also because I have quite a lot to teach her and unlike you she seems interested in learning. Anyway, I was just passing through and thought I'd deliver your first report card."
I blinked. "My what?"
Egdelwonk stuck out his bat wing, offering me a piece of crumpled-up parchment with 'A+' scrawled several times in red crayon, and nothing else.
I didn't take it. "What's that supposed to be?"
The trash tyrant shrugged. "Your report card! How can I be a stereotypical unwanted trickster mentor if I don't give you feedback somehow?"
I took a step back. "Or, you could stick that report card in your eye and go jump off a cliff, and then find someone else to annoy. How about that, big guy?"
"Tut tut." Egdelwonk waved the card at me. "So modest. And here I just wanted to congratulate you on finding out that your friends don't remember that first visit to my dump without making it obvious you were searching. Excellent job getting Corsica to talk about what she thinks of me without making it look like you were too curious, too. Now don't get too big of a head; I still know that you know all these things, but you at least found out in a nice and inconspicuous manner."
My jaw hung slack. "Are you spying on me?"
"Yes, yes, we established that a week ago. Don't look so surprised," Egdelwonk said nonchalantly. "The point is, good going, congratulations, you're the best student I've had in millennia. Three cheers for Halcyon!"
"Shut up!" I snapped, not caring who was around to listen. "And leave me alone!"
"Then you'd better get to playing hooky," Egdelwonk told me, narrowing his eyes and slinking back into the trash can. "After all, there's no way to avoid the attentions of a questionably omniscient janitor like learning to avoid them. Ta-ta!"
He closed the lid all the way.
For a second, I stared at the can. I blinked. Then...
"Raaaugh!"
Spinning around, I bucked the can with my hind legs, coiling my muscles and sending it flying clean over the railing. Realizing quickly what I'd done, I rushed to the edge and looked down, watching as it burst on an empty section of road far beneath me, sending garbage spewing everywhere. Fortunately, no one was there to be hit. But Egdelwonk was gone.
I turned again, but it somehow seemed no one was paying attention to me, my outburst or the fact that I had just kicked a garbage can off a cliff. I decided to get a move on just in case my luck didn't last.
Mother of pearl.
That was the color of a thin strip of trim in the train car, used to separate a luggage rack from the wall. I huddled halfway inside a shadow to avoid the crush of the crowd, and stared at it, trying to lose my troubles in that feeling of something just beyond my memory's reach. I didn't know why this color made me feel this way, like I had forgotten something of critical, utmost importance, and only a thin wall of paper stopped me from remembering it. It was definitely the color, though. And the feeling was strong.
Unfortunately, it wasn't strong enough.
I shook, helpless. Was nowhere safe? Egdelwonk knew what I had talked about with Corsica. He sounded privy to the goings-on in my own house! Jamjars' house, but still. Where could I find privacy? I felt like I was stripped bare, naked and surrounded, a giant spotlight in the sky hovering over me and exposing me for the world to see.
Naked... He probably knew what my legs looked like too, didn't he?
And the worst part was, I didn't have any idea what he actually wanted. Maybe that was why I was mad that Corsica had been out exploring the Ice District, learning cool things that I wanted to learn for myself. Maybe I was jealous that she was adapting and getting confident in the city, while I was feeling more and more cornered the more I found.
Was it so much to ask to just... disappear?
He might not know what's under my mask, I thought.
No. Fat chance. Odds were, he did.
But... maybe this feeling, or something like it, was what caused me to start wearing a mask in the first place.
You got any wisdom for me? I thought to myself, wondering if anything would happen. Nothing did.
Well, that left me with three options: fight, hide, or sit there and take it. I had a funny feeling I wouldn't just be able to punch Egdelwonk out, not because there would be repercussions and not because I didn't pack a mean right hook but because I had just kicked him off a cliff and not accomplished anything in doing it. Hiding sounded deeply attractive, but I had no idea how he was watching me and thus no idea how to avoid his gaze. Doing nothing sounded very feasible and very dumb.
Alternately, everyone had been drumming into my brain recently that Cold Karma's executives didn't get along and working for one of them was tantamount to joining a team that insulated you from the machinations of the other side. That whole concept rubbed me the wrong way, and I really wanted nothing to do with it, but maybe everyone was saying it was smart for a reason... if it weren't for the fact that Corsica and Jamjars also seemed to think Egdelwonk was one of the better ones to throw my lot in with.
I glowered at the mare standing next to me, who didn't seem to be doing anything at all. I knew nothing about her, other than the reasonable assumption that she probably wasn't being stalked by an evil janitor, not to mention an insane robot who once led a gang of changelings. Why couldn't I just be like her instead?
Alright, I decided, new plan. Fighting, hiding and doing nothing all sounded bad on their own, but how about I do all three?
I was a good actor. On the surface, I could pretend to ignore Egdelwonk, and just accept his intrusiveness as a facet of life. Without letting on what I was up to, I would figure out how he worked: why he was harassing me, what he wanted, and most importantly how he was doing it. Once I found his method of surveillance, I could identify blind spots, and then properly have a place to hide. Although breaking it so he couldn't keep following me wasn't such a bad idea either. And neither was stealing it so I could spy on the Composer...
There. I had a plan, a way to resist, and with it, hope. I finally found myself able to relax.
The sun was rising when my train entered the Ice District, its air conditioned interior protecting me from the rising heat. It slid to a stop at my station, and I got off, making my way home.
I cracked the door open quietly, just in case anyone was sleeping yet. "Hello?"
Jamjars was in the hallway, dressed in a lacy nightgown, a sleeping cap perched atop her voluminous mane. She looked like she was just crossing from the bathroom to her bedroom. "Oh, hello," she replied, glancing over with a yawn. "Late night on the town?"
"Something like that," I answered, putting my satchel down and quickly organizing my thoughts. I already had the unwanted attention of two nutcases, though one of them at least seemed to be leaving me alone for the time being. The worst thing that could happen to me right now was that I spend all my energy on Egdelwonk, and attract another unwanted suitor while doing so. I had to prioritize, and that meant getting this job thing over with. "So hey, do you...?"
I was about to say Do you think you could hire me yourself, and would that be good enough to avoid any attention from anyone else in Cold Karma, but then stopped myself. Voicing a question like that wouldn't tell Egdelwonk anything about my intentions, would it? I didn't think so. I wasn't directly asking if she had enough clout to get him to screw off, at least, although even if I was, was that the wrong thing to say either?
"Do I...?" Jamjars tilted her head.
"I mean, are you done with the shower?" I asked, fumbling a little to make it sound like I had just tripped over my tongue.
"Oh. Sure. Help yourself." Jamjars waved me past, trudging into her bedroom. "Night night..."
This was going to be a lot more complicated than I thought.