Discord was quietly strolling alongside Twilight Sparkle, not turning himself into bricks, flying, teleporting, or doing anything in a manner that was chaotic.
All in all, it was very suspicious.
Twilight stopped walking and sighed.
"Okay, Discord, what are you up to?" Twilight asked.
"Who, me?" Discord said in an obviously faked tone of interest.
"Yes, you!" Twilight yelled.
"Tsk Tsk. Somepony needs a nap."
"I DO NOT NEED A NAP!"
Discord's response was to obnoxiously start humming a lullaby.
"DISCORD!"
"Okay, I'll tell you. I just needed to memorize that sound sample." Discord said.
"What do mea-"
"What I'm 'up to' is assisting you in restoring magic until further notice."
"That's your answer?" Twilight asked. "I expected something more along the lines of insane ranting."
"Oh, Twilight, I may still be a jerk, but so many years of order seem to have restored my sanity."
"You're saying that when you tried to take over Equestria before, you were insane?"
"Yep."
"And now you're not."
"Correct."
"I don't quite believe you."
"And I don't quite care."
Discord started walking again, with Twilight following close behind.
* * * * * * *
"You can't be serious."
Discord had lead Twilight to the edge of the Everfree forest, insisting on going inside.
"Oh, but I am, Twilight." Discord said. "I need to get Equestria back to it's normal state as soon as possible, and the Everfree forest is the place with the most likely chance of providing some magical energy to do just that. Turns out that enchanting the place was one of my better ideas."
"YOU need to? What about everypony else?!"
Discord whipped around with a rather hurt look on his face.
"Why do you think I'm even doing this in the first place?! I may not have been the ruler of this place for the past few thousand years, but I still care! I mean come on, even all the chaos I did the first time we met did something good!"
"The cotton candy clouds?"
"Could probably have ended world hunger and thirst."
"The soap roads?"
"You ponies are always getting covered in muck."
"The weird gravity?"
"Pegasi shouldn't be the only ones to fly."
"The giant pepper shaker?"
Discord paused for a moment and stared into space.
"Discord?" Twilight asked. "What are you doing?"
Discord's eyes snapped back into focus.
"Sorry about the delay, it takes time to get trans-dimensional information. Ahem;
Like many eastern spices, pepper was historically both a seasoning and a medicine. Long pepper, being stronger, was often the preferred medication, but both were used.
Black Pepper (or perhaps long pepper) was believed to cure illness such as constipation, diarrhea, earache, gangrene, heart disease, hernia, hoarseness, indigestion, insect bites, insomnia, joint pain, liver problems, lung disease, oral abscesses, sunburn, tooth decay, and toothaches. Various sources from the 5th century onward also recommend pepper to treat eye problems, often by applying salves or poultices made with pepper directly to the eye. There is no current medical evidence that any of these treatments has any benefit; pepper applied directly to the eye would be quite uncomfortable and possibly damaging. Nevertheless, Black pepper, either powdered or its decoction, is widely used in traditional Indian medicine and as a home remedy for relief from sore throat, throat congestion, cough etc.
Pepper is known to cause sneezing. Some sources say that piperine, a substance present in black pepper, irritates the nostrils, causing the sneezing; Few, if any, controlled studies have been carried out to answer the question. It has been shown that piperine can dramatically increase absorption of selenium, vitamin B, beta-carotene and curcumin as well as other nutrients.
As a medicine, pepper appears in the Buddhist Samaññaphala Sutta, chapter five, as one of the few medicines allowed to be carried by a monk.
Pepper contains small amounts of safrole, a mildly carcinogenic compound. Also, it is eliminated from the diet of patients having abdominal surgery and ulcers because of its irritating effect upon the intestines, being replaced by what is referred to as a bland diet. However, extracts from black pepper have been found to have antioxidant properties and anti-carcinogenic effects, especially when compared to chili
Piperine present in black pepper acts as a thermogenic compound. Piperine enhances the thermogenesis of lipid and accelerates energy metabolism in the body and also increases the serotonin and beta-endorphin production in the brain.
Piperine and other components from black pepper may also be helpful in treating vitiligo, although when combined with UV radiation should be staggered due to the effect of light on the compound."
Twilight stared at him for a moment.
"Okay, I admit, some of the things I did were just for fun."
"And what about corrupting me and my friends?" Twilight asked bitterly.
Discord paused again.
"Though I admit that doing that was somewhat overkill, it was the only thing I could think of at the moment to slow your progress. It's awfully boring being trapped in stone for thousands of years."
Twilight narrowed her eyes at him.
"There's no way to avoid going in there, correct?"
"Bingo."
"Fine. Let's go." Twilight conceded.
The unlikely duo started walking into the forest, unaware of the amount of predators their little argument had woken up.
* * * * * * *
Discord suddenly froze.
"Stop walking." He said.
"What?" Twilight asked.
"Just stop walking and listen."
The forest was completely quiet around them.
"I don't hear anything." Twilight said.
"Exactly. My enchantment made this place one of total chaos." Discord explained hurriedly "The fact that nothing in here is making a sound indicates that something is following us. Something predatory."
As if on cue, a group of panthers seemingly made out of sand jumped out of the bush and started circling the two.
"What are those?!" Twilight screamed.
"Sand Lions." Discord answered. "If their dust-filled roar hits you, you fall asleep."
"Why?"
"So they can more easily rip you to shreds."
"Oh, that's reassuring."
The lions circling them started to take in a deep breath of air.
"Rule one of the universe." Discord said. "When crap hits the fan, the fan is typically being held by you, and is pointed at someone very important who can get you fired."