The song chased her, ringing in her ears even when she couldn’t hear Burblessa’s lovely voice singing it. Far more lovely than hers, certainly; but then, she only sang for her beloved rocks, deep in the safety of her cave.
Dawn, don't you think you're being a little, I mean maybe just a tad
I'm not defensive!
I'm simply being cautious
I can't risk reckless dating
Due to my miscalculating
While a certain mare stands in line
I've seen in novels
Most made for easy reading
You cannot be too careful
When it comes to sharing your life
I could end up a miserable wife
Sorry girls, but she could be criminal, some sort of psychopath
Who escaped from an institution
Somewhere where they don't have girls
She could have masterminded some way to find me
She could be colorblind
How untrustworthy is that?
She could be less than kind
Or even worse she could be very nice, have lovely eyes
And make me laugh, come out of hiding
What do I do with that?
Oh, god
Maud leapt over the river, through the brush; she was well out of Ponyville proper now, galloping headlong towards the rocky, wooded area near her cave. Brambles and branches pulled at her, as if trying to stop her; they only fueled her panicked flight, tearing at her mane and dress, but not even their sharp pain could cut through the panic that flooded her body. She was almost there, almost home, almost safe.
What if when she sees me
I like her and she knows it?
What if she opens up a door
And I can't close it? (What if a door is opened?)
What happens then? (What happens then?)
If when she holds me
My heart is set in motion
I'm not prepared for that
I'm scared of breaking open
She wasn’t sure what she thought might stop her when she clattered to a halt in the safety of her cave, stumbling in the darkness, chest heaving. Her own emotions, perhaps? That didn’t make any sense; but then, neither did galloping away in a panic from a musical performance. Emotions were like that, for Maud; disruptive, upsetting, confusing, an annoyance that offered no benefit to her life and only confusion. No benefit at all! Not even Mudbriar. In the end, he had only made things worse, made her all the more certain that she didn’t want to muddle with anything to do with emotions. But that day in the bakery -
“Maud?”
Maud reacted to the soft, hesitant voice as if it had been a cannonball, diving for cover behind her bed.
“Maud, are you okay?! I heard a crash!”
“Maud is not here.”
There was a moment of silence. “Then… who said that?”
“Maud’s talking rock.”
“Aha. I see. Talking rock.” Trixie replied sarcastically, and took a few cautious steps into the cave, lighting a ball of magic at the very tip of her horn, illuminating the space. “Maud, I know it’s you.”
Maud didn’t answer, but remained hidden. From her vantage point under the bed, she could see Trixie’s blue hooves as they cautiously explored her cave, looking for her. She would never find her! Or perhaps she would give up, and Maud could just - pretend this whole night never happened. Ugh, what an embarrassing mess this night had turned into! She had been so hopeful, too; just something nice, something she could enjoy, something that didn’t have to have any difficult emotions attached to it beyond -
“I'm scared of breaking open,” Trixie sang into the silence, her voice thin and tremulous, startling Maud out of her own internal reverie. She let the words hang in the air for a moment before she continued, finishing the same tune that had been playing in Maud’s head all night.
But still I can't help from hoping
To find someone to talk to
Who likes the way I am
Someone who when she sees me
Wants to again
Maud remained where she was for a long moment, letting the song’s final notes echo into silence in the stone walls of her cave, before she slowly pulled herself out from under her bed. Trixie whirled to look at her, but remained frozen in place, and the pair stared at each other for a long, silent moment, each studying the other.
“It was your song.” Trixie said, at last, and Maud felt herself tense sharply.
“Everypony knows that song,” Maud replied, and beneath her usual flat tone was an undertone of steel.
“No, not - not like that. I didn’t - I didn’t want it to come out like that.” Trixie admonished herself quietly, her ears twisting back in distress. “Not like - not a judgment. I - I hoped it was your song. ButI knew, when you changed ‘shell shaped’ to ‘rock shaped.’ I knew it was yours.” Trixie explained, and considered her for a long moment. Hopeful, if Maud could allow herself to believe it.
“I didn’t ... I didn’t know you felt like that.” Trixie tried again, her voice softer now.
“Everypony likes that song.” Maud muttered, her usual flat tone failing her in the moment.
“I feel like that.” Trixie offered in reply, even softer, and it brought Maud’s eyes back to her face. “Afraid to let anyone in. It’s … easier, to keep everyone in the audience.” It was Trixie’s turn for her eyes to fall away, unable to hold Maud’s gaze. “But it’s lonely. Trixie - I’ve been figuring that out, in the last year. While I - worked on things. Trixie things.”
Maud nodded, slowly, and lifted one hoof, waiting for what felt like forever before she slowly brought it down, slowly beginning to close the distance between them.
Trixie swallowed, her eyes near Maud’s hooves, but carefully didn’t comment on them. “I was selfish last year. When I heard about you and Mudbriar, I was … glad. I didn’t like him, but I especially didn’t like him with you. And I didn’t want to admit to myself that it was because…” Trixie’s ears twisted back again, and she looked away, her expression uncomfortable.
Maud considered Trixie’s expression for a long moment before she spoke into the silence that she had left open for her. “You confused me, that day. Pinkie said it was rude, but it made me feel … warm. Like you were on my side. Your expression was - wrong.”
Trixie winced, and tried to hide it by playing with the floppy brim of her hat.
“The way you looked at me was not rude, or annoyed. It made me feel … seen. Good. I don’t know what it made me feel, but I felt something.” Maud admitted, and although her usual flat tone had returned, Trixie could hear in it now so much more than she had ever heard before. “I’ve never felt that way before. When I heard you were gone …”
“It wasn’t on purpose.” Trixie spoke suddenly, and raised her eyes to Maud’s face too quickly, dropping them away again almost immediately. “I had already scheduled the tour. I hadn’t even meant to see you, before I left. If I hadn’t heard you talking to Pinkie - if I hadn’t been rude -”
“Would you have ever said anything to me?” Maud asked, her voice softer. “Ever?”
Trixie’s ears were flat, and she couldn’t meet Maud’s gaze. “Trixie is a coward.” Trixie admitted, softly.
Maud considered Trixie for a long moment - not the loud, boastful Trixie, the one she had met when she first came to Ponyville, the one Pinkie had told her stories about; but vulnerable, uncertain Trixie. Sad, even; one who would have watched what she wanted sail away, too afraid to even reach for it. I’m not prepared for that, I’m scared of breaking open/but still I can’t help from hoping…
“Do you think you could keep being rude to me?” Maud asked, her voice flat.
“Pardon?”
“Could you be rude to me - maybe tomorrow night? Around six? There’s a nice cafe over on the east side of town. They serve daisy sandwiches.”
Trixie stared at Maud for a moment before recognition dawned, and a slow, hopeful smile curled her lips. “I like daisy sandwiches.” Trixie admitted, her voice too soft to even echo.
“So do I.” Maud agreed, and slowly reached forward, so that her hoof could rest beside Trixie’s, just close enough to touch. “I think I might like them more if you were there.”
“Then I should be there.” Trixie agreed, her cheeks warming.
“I’m glad we agree.” Maud replied, as placid as ever, but she leaned her head a little closer, just enough so that their forelocks could touch. Even the indirect touch made the air feel electric, and Maud found herself unable to find anything to say.
“Someone who when she sees me,” Maud sang, very softly, for Trixie’s ears only, “wants to again.”
Maud thought that the smile that Trixie offered her in reply was more dazzling than any rock she had ever seen.