Ernest looked down at the pristine white paper in his hands. The writing on the parchment was pleasing to the eye, all the delicate letters were gracefully elegant and flowed crisply into each other. The message that was wrapped in the pretty-looking words was ugly as sin.
Dear Night Princess,
We have in our possession the Prince of the Crystal Empire and the traitor, Rotnart. The League of Extraordinary Opossum Haters recognizes that defeating an entire nation of ponies and other creatures is a task beyond even us. Therefore, after due consideration, we would like to meet and discuss our organization’s terms of surrender as laid out by your previous letter. You are to come alone, save for one exception. Failure to do so will result in our assumption that a state of war remains with Equestria and will result in the deaths of the aforementioned captives. Our only demand is that you bring and surrender to us the descendant of Phenias E. Worrell, Ernest P. Worrell. If he is not present at the meeting, the captives shall be executed via disembowelment.
Have a nice day
Ernest gulped. “Well, at least they’re talking to us.” The Redneck shuffled the letter so that he was looking at a crudely drawn map of the Everfree Forest. A large red X was placed over a depiction of a structure with the words “11:30 in the morning. Come without milk and don’t be late.” Ernest lowered the map away from his face. Before him stood a familiar looking hut he and Rimshot had visited less than a fortnight ago.
The human looked around. “Uh, Princess. I can’t help but notice a lack of drooling, squid-lipped stunties. Are we at the right hut?” Ernest tried to keep from talking too fast but failed miserably. “Back in middle school I was given a map like this for a scavenger hunt. After two days of searching for a ball of yarn, I ended up in a patriot missile bunker answering a lot of questions from these guys in shiny suits. So I understand if we’re not at the right place. Things like that happen.”
Princess Luna eyed the depths of the forest warily, taking her companion’s incessant chattering in stride. Truth be told she was uneasy too. She just did a better job of hiding it. “I am confident this is the location where the trolls wish to meet.” She looked up at the sky and made a quick calculation. “It’s precisely 11:25 in the morning. The trolls should be showing up any second.”
Ernest nodded. He wished he could have brought Rimshot with him but knew that he wouldn’t have been a very good owner if he had. Not that his pet was a whole lot safer in Ponyville, but being in a fortified town was better than being at a “peace conference” with trolls. He and that beagle had been through thick and thin together, and he couldn’t bear the thought of Rimshot being turned into a wooden doll a second time. The Troll Fighter was about to say something else when he tripped over an upturned rock sticking out of the ground. Losing his footing, the Redneck tumbled to the ground.
“Are you well, Ernest?” asked the Princess.
The human scrambled to his feet and puffed out his chest. In a show of bravado, Ernest pointed to the offending rock and said, “I thought it was a landmine. I was attempting to throw myself upon it so that you would be spared harm, my Liege.”
Luna was torn between scolding Ernest for joking about dying for her and laughing. The fact that this stranger had literally almost died fighting for her realm and subjects made Ernent’s joke very potent. On the other hoof, it was not uncommon for one to make levity where one could find it. In the end she smiled. “The gesture is appreciated, good sir. Just be more care---.”
Ernest looked at the pony strangely. “Uh . . . be more caffeinated? Be more carefree? More courageous? I can do that one.”
Luna brought a hoof up to her lips, silencing the Troll Fighter. She turned her attention to the area around the rock Ernest had tripped over. The alicorn studied the spot. To her, it looked like the soil had been upturned and then hastily compressed. As if someone had dug a hole and then filled it back up again. She looked at other spots in the dirt surrounding Zecora’s home. Sure enough, there were other circular places where the ground had been disturbed.
Motioning Ernest to come stand near where she was standing, she whispered to him. “This is definitely an ambush. I’d bet my crown that there is a troll buried here.” She pointed down at the churned earth. “And there, and there, and there. I count no less than thirty disguised cavities in the ground.”
The Troll Fighter’s eyes widened to an almost comical diameter. Needing to know for himself, he pressed his ear to the dirt and listened. To his horror, he could hear breathing. If he had not known better, it sounded like a bear was hibernating under his feet. Fighting to keep his legs from shaking, Ernest stood and nodded. “Unless we’re over a very loud water pipe, or graboids have infested this part of the forest, . . . which is possible. There’s a troll down there.”
Luna nodded.
“What do we do?” whispered Ernest on the verge of panic. “I can’t fly or shoot lightning out of my hands anymore. We can’t leave, and we didn’t bring any Troll-Be-Gone or authentic Bulgarian Miak. We’re sitting ducks here.”
“Calm yourself, Ernest. We are not without allies in the Everfree. Some of Fluttershy’s friends are aware of our plight and have agreed to help us. Also, as you know, I am not completely defenseless.” She smiled confidently. “Trust me, you’re in good hooves.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“Call me, Luna. Heaven knows your bravery in last night’s action has earned thee the right to call us by our forename.”
Ernest’s cheeks reddened as he laughed. “Eh heh, heh, heh. Just doing my job, ma--, I mean, Luna.” The Troll Fighter took a deep breath. “So what do we do now?”
“We wait. That’s the hardest part,” said Luna, grimly.
Earlier
Iarumas parted the sea of trolls with his mere presence. He looked to his left and then to his right. Even those who were taller and stronger could not meet the blazing intensity of his gaze. Beyond the ocean of trolls was the blackened Tree of Harmony. As he got closer to the tree, his footing became more unsteady. The earth here resembled a lunar surface with the birthing of so many trolls. His hand grasped the sword given to him by his chieftain, his dark knuckles turning white. He feared what was to come. He was about to become strong and powerful beyond his wildest expectation. His power might even surpass that of mighty Trantor. But it wouldn’t last, it couldn’t last. No troll could wield so much power for very long before being consumed by it. He was close now. He could see a great hole in the side of the tree where the soul-energy of the dolls were harvested to create the army that he would lead. The chamber served one other purpose as well.
Rabuf greeted his champion. He placed his arms on his warrior’s shoulders and delivered unto him the ritual headbutt salute. “Are you ready?”
Iarumas reeled and took a step back. After spitting out a bloody tooth, he sheathed his sword and put his own hands on his chieftain's shoulders. “I am.” He dropped his leader with a headbutt of his own. He could feel Rabuf’s nose shatter beneath his hard head.
Hctorc Retib was there to help her master back to his feet, but before she could, Iarumas was there holding out his hand for his leader to take. The two trolls clasped forearms and Rabuf was pulled to his feet, blood gushing from his ruined nose. Rabuf was smiling through the pain. “Enter the tree, my avatar of desolation. Enter and grow strong. And remember, don’t attack the town until you see the signal.”
The champion nodded. He unbuckled the sword at his side and reverently surrendered the blade back to his master. Sucking in his gut, the hulking troll wiggled his way into the tree’s hollow. Iarumas closed his eyes and uttered the sacred words in the guttural language of the trolls. “Come, evil demons. Make me strong.”
The demons came. Electric blue entities swirled around the chosen one and the Tree of Harmony came alive with the collective moanes of the captured spirits. Wherever these beings of floating energy touched the troll, the troll was changed. Iarumas felt his already long fingernails lengthen into rending claws. He could feel horns piercing the flesh of his scalp. The pain was all consuming; his body was being sundered and remade like a flawed blade being reforged in hellfire. “Do . . . Your . . . Worst,” whispered the champion.
Rabuf watched his warrior’s transformation with admiration, horror, and wonder. He fought the urge to shutter in front of his fellow trolls. At last he turned away from the metamorphosis and looked at his most trusted Lieutenant. “We should get started on that surrender meeting we got going. Take your best warriors and lay out the welcome mat. I’ll be along shortly.”
Hctorc Retib nodded, snapped her fingers, and disappeared.
************************************************************************
“Run the numbers by me again, Spike.”
The baby dragon sighed and stopped fiddling with the bandages that swaddled his head and consulted the clipboard in his talons. “If we exclude what Princess Luna has taken for her mission, and If we combine what the town has left with what the Crystal Empire Ponies and the guards from Canterlot have, there is roughly 120 gallons of 2% milk, 90 gallons of whole milk, 67 boxes of powdered milk, 90 gallons of ice cream, 20 gallons of skim milk, 200 ice cream sandwiches and cakes of different lengths, and 100 butter containers including unopened boxes of stick butter.”
Twilight could feel her tender horn twitching underneath her own bandages. She wanted to levitate the clipboard out of the dragon’s claws and see for herself, but the Doctors had warned against using her magic. “Have the foraging parties found any dairy products in the destroyed homes from the other troll attacks?”
Spike shook his head which caused the dragon to wince in pain. “This is everything.”
Twilight bit her hoof, It will have to do. She thought. No more help could get through the swarming ring of troll flyers. The trolls were now so numerous that whenever a pegasi went on a scouting mission, dozens of trolls rose up from the Everfree to intercept the pony. The Princess of Friendship looked down at her hooves to see several pieces of parchment. Each one of them was a garbled unintelligible message from Princess Celestia. Whatever evil magic the trolls were using was interfering with the magic ley lines that connected Ponyville to the outside world. She had seen this once before when Discord had broken free from his prison of stone and wreaked havoc on the town. Twilight had not been able to commune effectively with the Princess for half an hour.
“Has the . . .”
“Yes, Twilight. All the milk, ice cream, and butter has been given to everypony that can throw, buck, or fly. Commander Spitfire and the rest of the Ponyville Leaders have their ponies in position. I’ve told you this twice already.” Her assistant stated in a neutral manner.
The Princess sighed. From her vantage point on top of the hospital she could see as much. Hundreds of ponies were manning strongpoints throughout the town waiting for the storm to begin. Twilight was about to command Spike to write another letter to Princess Celestia when she heard hoofbeats coming up the attic stairs. The alicorn turned to see Sunset Shimmer emerge onto the roof. Twilight regarded the unicorn before glancing across town at the massive clock built into City Hall. “11:30,” the pony muttered, lost in thought.
Sunset swallowed. She approached the Princess and her assistant like she was treading on eggshells. She had been dreading this moment ever since she had arrived with Ernest the night before.
Spike looked up from his clipboard. “Hey, Sunset. How’s it goin? Did you find that safe behind the Celestia painting?”
The unicorn blinked. She had not expected the dragon to be so friendly now that they weren’t surrounded by other ponies. “Uh, yeah. That’s why I’m here. Zecora and I found the safe with your friends in it. I put Fluttershy, Rarity, and the others in a suitcase and gave it to Spitfire.”
“Good job. I’m just glad my melon didn’t get banged up enough that I forgot the combination to the safe.” He put a hand absently up to his bandaged scalp. “How are things in town? Everything looking good?”
Sunset shrugged. “I guess. Everypony is on edge waiting for the trolls to make their move. I can’t blame them for that.” She looked out the corner of her eye and saw the stairway that led back down into the hospital and away from these two. “Listen, Spike, I’m glad you’re up and about, but I should get back to my post. I don’t want the trolls to jump us when we’re not looking.”
Without waiting for an answer, the unicorn turned and began heading away from her former enemies.
“Sunset, wait a moment.”
The pony froze.
“Spike, take a letter.”
Both the unicorn and the dragon stood stunned for a moment. Spike was the first to recover. He shrugged. “It’s not like I have anything better to do. Ready when you are.”
Twilight cleared her throat.
“Dear Princess Celestia,
As you are now well aware, the town of Ponyville is under siege by the descendants of the trolls corrupted by King Sombra. We have every intention of overcoming this ancient enemy in the coming hours with the help of friends, both new and old.”
Princess Twilight looked squarely at Sunset Shimmer when she spoke next. “What I wish to make known to you is that I would not be having this correspondence with you nor do I believe that there would be a Ponyville to save without the bravery, perseverance, and ingenuity of Sunset Shimmer.”
The unicorn’s breath caught in her throat.
“I will detail her exploits at the Ponyville Hospital in a future letter. I did not witness her deeds firsthand, but through testimony by your Sister, Commander Spitfire, and several other ponies of note, there leaves little doubt in my mind the validity of the claims. Therefore, when this crisis has been put to rest, I recommend a full pardon for services rendered to the Equestrian nation.
Sincerely Your Faithful Servant,
Twilight Sparkle”
Sunset gaped at the Princess. This was the last thing she had ever expected to hear from the pony she had tormented not so long ago. Words failed her. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound was heard.
Spike rolled up the message and sent it on its way with a breath of emerald flame. “Finally, I got to send off some good news.”
Twilight grinned. “I know, right?” She turned her attention to Sunset. “Odds are that message will be just as scrambled as the ones we’re getting, but I thought Celestia should be made aware of what you’ve done for this town. When we’ve finally defeated the trolls, all the messages should be restored to normal.”
Fighting back tears, the orange unicorn whispered, “Thank you, Princess.”
“You’re more than welcome. When this is over, I’d like to talk to you some more. Now return to your post and be ready.”
************************************************************************
“Twelve o’clock,” murmured Princess Luna. The alicorn was looking up at the sun.
The Trollfighter looked up at the sun but was blinded by the light. “Your move, Luna.”
The alicorn looked down and marked the ground with an X and drew a line through two other Xs along with the one she just made.
Ernest rubbed his eyes and stared down at the tic-tac-toe board drawn into the earth. This was far from the only board they had scratched in the dirt. The Princess had won them all. Ernest pondered this for a few moments before asking, “You want to play again?”
Luna didn’t answer. When Ernest turned his attention back to the alicorn, he saw that a small blue bird was chirping in the Princess’s ear. Luna chirped back for a few seconds. When the pony was done communicating, the bird flew away back into the forest.
“Friend of yours?” asked Ernest.
Luna smiled. “Tall Feather is one of Fluttershy’s many forest friends, but he and I get along well enough.”
The Redneck scratched the top of his head through his hat. “Did he have good news?”
“He said that the town has not yet been attacked and that there is a party of trolls about half a mile from our location, heading our direction. A pony and a wooden troll are with them.”
“It’s about time. The last time I was this late to a party, I was stuck in the business end of my garbage truck, trying not to be turned into a cube of trash.”
Luna smiled. This was not the first such story Ernest had told her while they were waiting for the trolls. She had learned much about this alien. Mainly that he was mythically durable, had a frightening number of other personalities, waffled between narcissism and crippling self-doubt, a closet genius, and most importantly he had a heart of solid gold. “That must have been very painful. But not as painful as the defeat I am about to deal you through our next tic-tac-toe game.”
Ernest wagged his finger at the pony. “Oh no you don’t. This next game is mine. For I am Ernest P. Worell, Troll Fighter and Ghost Buster extraordinaire.”
About ten seconds later Ernest was drinking from the bitter cup of defeat.
“How’d you get so good at this game?”
Luna’s heart sank, her jovial nature deflating like a popped balloon. “I had a lot of time to practice until recently.”
The Redneck nodded his head in understanding. “Prison?”
This time it was Luna’s turn to nod. “Did Sunset Shimmer tell you?”
“No. But when I was in prison this was one of the games me and the other convicts played. I didn’t win too many games there either.”
The alicorn’s eyes widened in surprise. “I . . . didn’t think you were the type to end up in prison, Ernest.” Realizing what she just said she immediately added, “My apologies. I am in no position to judge you for whatever you’ve done. I’m sure my actions were far, far worse.
Ernest stood up and brushed the grass off his jeans. “Naw, You’re a good Princess. I can tell.”
Luna blinked. “How? You don’t even know me?”
Ernest thought about that for a moment. He looked off in the distance as he marshaled his thoughts. “You’re right. I don’t know you. But your subjects do.”
The Princess looked at Ernest quizzically, “What do you mean?”
“Well, when I was at that meeting of the minds before building the Nimbus Sucker 9000, I saw you doing your best to keep Ponyville safe. You listened to everyone there and chose the option you thought would work.” Ernest smiled, “And it just so happened the best option was mine. Eh-heh-heh-heh. Also, when I was flying around up there tango-ing with . . . whatever that was last night, I saw quite a few ponies flying by your side and watching your back. And when you ate that cloud monster, I didn’t see one pony not cheering your name. Some of your subjects even came up to hug you and shake your hoof. Those are all very big pluses in my book.” Ernest paused before continuing, his mouth going dry. “Also, I kind of have a crush on the Vice-Principal at the Canterlot High School who has the same name as you. She is the nicest, kindest lady I know. The kids love her, and she works very hard to be the best Vice-Principal she can be. If you’re anything like her, then Camelot is in good hands, . . . er, hooves.”
The Princess stared at the human.
Ernest panicked. He had said too much. In a fit of desperation he looked at the ground, frantically searching for the stick he had used to draw the tic-tac-toe games. When he found it, he asked, “Uh, Eh-heh-heh-heh you want to play again?” To his surprise he felt something pulling on his wrist. He looked down to see blue magic enveloping his hands. The next thing he knew, the alicorn had her hooves around Ernest enveloping him in a warm hug.
“Thank you, Ernest, for your kind words and your heart-felt candor. I can see how you’ve made friends with my subjects so easily. And if my human counterpart cannot see your charms as I do, then she is an even greater fool then I was a thousand years ago.”
Ernest hugged the alicorn back. All the while he was thinking, A thousand years ago? Wow, botox really does work wonders. Even Ernest P. Worell had the good sense not to say what he was thinking out loud.
The pony and the human played a few more rounds of tic-tac-toe. Ernest even won one of those games, which made him immensely happy. Luna was beaming too, savoring the calm before the storm. Soon enough, the Princess heard the heavy tread of a company of trolls coming into view. “Stand tall, Ernest. Our hosts have finally arrived. And remember, improv will do in a pinch, but try to stick to the script.”
************************************************************************
Rotnart took a deep breath, trying to steady his pounding heart.
“Relax, brother. One way or another this will be over soon. Just do your job and all will be forgiven,” said Rabuf.
The wooden mockery of a troll swallowed and nodded. It could have been his imagination, but it felt like they were being watched. Whenever he looked into the trees, he noticed that the wildlife stared back. Be it a bird, coyotes, or rabbits, they all seemed to take a keen interest in the trolls. Rotnart didn’t know what to make of this strange animal behavior; all he knew was that it made him uncomfortable. The troupe of trolls emerged from the forest. And there they were, standing in a small clearing in front of a strangely decorated structure that wasn’t exactly a tree and not exactly a house. Rotnart ignored the numerous tic-tac-toe games scattered on the ground. He had eyes only for Ernest P. Worell and the Princess of the Night.
It seemed so long ago since he had torn out that page in his father’s book and opened a way to Equestria. How long had it been? A matter of days, but it felt like years. He remembered running through the portal, Worell’s iron chariot belching smoke and burning rubber a hair's breadth away from catching him. In fact, it got so close it ran him over. He remembered with a wince of phantom pain, his head smashing into the truck’s grill and the feel of the tires trying to turn his body into pulp. From there, he had sacrificed one of his brothers and fled into the forest with every intention of resurrecting the Troll Nation. After a few days in Equestria and especially after his brother corrupted the Tree of Harmony, the inherited memories from his father started to make sense. The ancient battles Trantor had fought in the frozen north, beating at the gates of the Crystal Empire. In a very strange twist of fate, Rotnart had played games with the Princess that had caused his father and King Sombra so much grief. In those days, Princess Luna was a warrior without peer. She hunted at night and took the lives of more trolls than any single creature that walked on four legs. She had failed, though. She and her army were driven back to Canterlot where she promised to return with her sister. The alicorns were too late to save the Crystal Empire from conquest, but by then there had been only one troll left to slay. And Trantor was rewarded with another world to conquer. For 800 years Trantor wandered the earth, becoming a legend in countless human cultures, until at last he was bested. Bested by Reverend Phenias Worell and imprisoned underneath an oak tree. Trantor had prophesied his own second coming on the night before Halloween when another Worell would unknowingly release him. Ernest P. Worell was as ridiculed and reviled as Phenias E. Worell was celebrated. None of that mattered. The lanky human had done what no one else could. Ernest had killed Trantor, and he killed him with unconditional love.
Before he knew it, Rotnart found himself standing before the two slayers. The former King looked down to see if his false shackles still looked convincing. Ten trolls were with him excluding his brother and Hctorc Retib. It was a mix of hulking brutes, gangly flyers, and bedraggled sorcerers that formed the honor guard for his brother. One of the brutes carried the comatose Prince of the Crystal Empire over his shoulder.
Rabuf clapped his hands jovially. “Well, here we are.” The leader of the Troll Nation turned his full attention to Ernest. The human was desperately trying not to cower before the small army of monsters. “So this is Ernest P. Worell in the flesh.”
The Redneck smiled nervously back at Rabuf. “Yep. That’s me. Say, do you need your trash picked up? After I get my truck fixed . . . again, I can swing by and grab whatever you want to get rid of. I don’t know what the Ponyville rates are, but I’m sure I can cut you a deal. We’re all friends here. Right? Eh-heh-heh-heh.”
Rabuf returned the smile. His fragmented yellow teeth made him look even more menacing. “I’m counting on it. After all, what’s a village of wooden children worth between friends?”
Ernest blinked. The words stirred something deep and primal within the Redneck’s heart. On their own accord his fists balled. Gone was the earlier fear and trepidation of facing these nightmarish creatures. “Yeah, you guys are real tough when you're messing with kids and dogs. How about we settle this the old-fashioned way? You and me, mono a mono. Whoever can eat the most ice cream cones in five minutes wins the war, and the loser has to get out of town.” Ernest pointed at Rotnart. “Stumpy there can be the judge.”
Rabuf pretended to think about the Redneck’s proposal before saying, “Hmmmm, pass.”
Ernest wasn’t paying attention to the Troll leader; he was still pointing at Rotnart. “You look familiar. I think I’ve seen you in a pawn shop before.”
“Enough!” shouted Luna. “We’re here to accept the surrender of the ‘League of Extraordinary Opossum Haters.’ Let us see to this business and be done with it.”
“You got it,” Rabuf said with enthusiasm. He nodded to the enormous troll that still held Shining Armor. The behemoth dropped the Prince unceremoniously to the ground, took off the blindfold, and removed a water-skin from his belt. The troll poured water over the pony’s face until the Prince sputtered to life.
The Prince wiped the water from his eyes and tried to stand. His weak legs buckled underneath him. Before he could fall, the unicorn found himself encompassed by a blue aura of magic. “Wha-, What’s happening? Am I dead?”
Luna pulled the weakened pony to her side. “Far from it, Prince Shining Armor. We are in the midst of a prisoner exchange.”
Shining Armor’s eyes widened. He struggled feebly in Luna’s magical grasp. “What? Don’t do it! Don’t give them what they want!”
The Princess of the Night whispered something that only the Prince could hear. “Trust me.”
The unicorn stopped squirming and took in the situation. He saw the small army of trolls in front of Ernest and knew who he was being traded for. His heart sank but he said nothing.
Seeing the dejected look of the pony brought a smirk to Rabuf’s face. He turned to Rotnart. “Well, a deal’s a deal. Go ahead, bro.”
There it was. There was the signal to assassinate the human, the one who murdered his father. He could feel the hidden knife in the sleeve of his ratty leather jerkin. He had been given the clothing for this very purpose. He could not hide a weapon on his body since the very clothes he had been wearing were now a part of him, thanks to the wood curse. Rotnart closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. Head bowed he took his first steps towards Ernest.
The Troll Fighter watched the lumber-troll approach. He knew he had seen this thing before. He squinted at the monster’s face. The golem was passing underneath the shadow of a tree, disturbing one of the many games he and Luna had been playing. At that moment, the cursed troll raised his head to look at the human. For Ernest this was when the puzzle pieces fell into place. This was the troll he had followed into Equestria. It was dark when he and Rimshot had given chase to this monster, its features highlighted by the portal it had opened to Equestria. Ernest saw the glint of steel being drawn from a hidden sheath when the beast stepped into the sunlight. The troll’s bonds fell off its wrists like wet spaghetti.
Time slowed. Rotnart knew that he was close to death, either from his own kin or from the troll-killers in front of him. His senses were sharpened to a level he had never known. Rotnart took in the shock of recognition on Ernent’s face. He saw Princess Luna gathering energy to her horn in preparation for a spell. But before Ernest could shout a warning or the alicorn could cast her magic, Rotnart acted first. In one fluid movement the assassin drew his weapon, pivoted on his heel, turned, and hurled the knife at Hctorc Retib.
The weapon flew out of Rotnart’s hand. Tumbling end over end before crashing hilt first against the skull of Rabuf’s lieutenant. Hctorc Retib collapsed like a fallen oak, out cold. Rotnart smiled. Take that B*#ch, he thought. Teach you to burn my feet.
By this point Rabuf was pointing and screaming incoherently at Rotnart, Ernest, and the blue opossum. The winged monsters in Rabuf’s entourage spread their wings to protect their leader. The mighty armored trolls advanced to engage their enemies. And the smaller cloaked magic-users were bending down to touch the earth to wake their comrades. Moments later, more trolls were erupting from the ground like miniature volcanoes spewing dirt in every direction. Rotnart found himself surrounded by slabs of troll muscle and weapons. He bared his wooden fangs and stomped the ground, bellowing a war cry. He was about to wade into the fight when another blue aura roped around his torso. Rotnart was yanked back just before his fellow trolls could dog-pile on him. He was pulled through the air, his arms and legs flailing uselessly. He looked over to his side and saw that Worell was being pulled along in a similar fashion. Both troll and human came to a gentle rest at the hooves of Princess Luna.
Ernest stood and looked out at the sea of snarling troll faces coming straight towards them. He nodded, “Yup, all according to plan.”
“This is according to plan?” asked Shining Armor dubiously.
“Well, Luna did say that this thing would try and kill me,” Ernest replied pointing at a very scared looking Rotnart. “But he didn’t, and to be fair, a few days ago I was trying to kill him. So . . . hakuna matata?”
Without saying a word, Luna fired off a howling ball of magic from her horn. The magic shrieked through the air like a bottle-rocket and detonated several hundred feet above the trees of the Everfree Forest. The explosion created a cone of darkness against the blue sky that was visible for miles in every direction. The monsters paid little heed to what was happening above them and pressed their attack against the four creatures that were marked for death. Luna responded with fury of her own. The alicorn blasted any troll that got too close to her or her three charges. Having reunited with the Tantibus and the long lost part of her that had called herself the Pony of Shadows made her stronger than ever. The trolls went flying in every direction, but they were far from hurt. There was no way to kill the monsters, so the best Luna could do was delay them until help arrived. As time passed, the trolls gained ground. Not even Luna could fend off fifty nearly indestructible creatures forever. Luckily for her, she didn’t have to.
Bursting out of the trees came a snarling, gnashing wave of forest creatures. Bears, wolves, foxes, birds, otters, and other animals smashed through the front ranks of the trolls. Each and every one of the critters was doused in milk.
“The cavalry's here!” Ernest whooped. The human pointed to a bear in the crowd of charging animals and yelled, “Go get em, Smokey! Show those Ottomans whose boss.”
Rotnart watched the milk-covered bear rise up on his hind legs and wave at Ernest. Absently, the wooden troll waved back. He thought back to his conversation with Discord, when that freak had told him that Ernest had been eaten by a bear in the woods. Things would have been a lot simpler for everybody if you had just fu*#ing done your job, thought Rotnart.
Luna continued to fight the trolls, shooting them out of the sky with pin-point accuracy where the hapless monsters were beset by animals of all sizes. The trolls died in droves, but more than a few animals were either turned to dolls, injured, or laid out on the ground twitching or still as the grave. Each and every one of these critters called Fluttershy a friend. The Princess hated to call upon the aid that these forest dwellers had offered but knew that she could not refuse. She had armed them with milk before this bloody meeting had taken place, and they had waited for her signal.
“Princess! Princess, what are your orders?” shouted Shining Armor.
Luna blinked and tore her eyes from the struggle. She looked down at the unicorn. “The four of us shall return to Ponyville, and you shall see an apothecary for your horn.” The alicorn looked back into the melee and saw the retreating form of Rabuf carrying his comatose Lieutenant over his shoulder. One of the magically inclined trolls had snapped his fingers and opened a portal. The magic user was dissolved a moment later when a wet blue bird slapped into his face. Before Rabuf could step through the magical door, he felt something coalesce and form in his brain. The troll stopped dead in his tracks, the forward momentum causing Hctorc Retib to fall into the portal. The leader of the trolls slowly turned and looked directly at the Princess, horrified realization written all over his face. A blue line of magic ran from his head to the alicorn’s horn. The next thing he knew he was falling backwards into the portal, having lost all control of his body.
“He got away,” Shining Armor said angrily.
“Yes and no,” replied Luna.
“What do you mean?” asked the Prince.
“Let us just say that the Pony of Shadows had the last laugh with that troll. Now come, let us be away from this place.”