-Equus, Ponyville Park, Gallus-
“Okay, so they figured out how to bring them back… but it’s reliant on them finding another way between dimensions, provided that the world they are in can even do that. Which leads to the bigger problem.” I grumbled as Kuril cuddled me, she’s been doing this a lot lately and saying stuff like I didn’t get enough hugs growing up. I personally think I was fine when hugs were a rarity. “You’re not going to tell Jaded about this right? Apparently Fizzle warned me that she could have me on the worst assignments if I still want to become a guard for Equestria.”
“My lips are sealed on that, because you can trust me I’m a cat with a hat~. Also Jade is busy after her trip to Meadow Hills caused a slight economic problem, she’s currently trying to fix said problem she started in the first place and is currently visiting the changeling hives and is doing work approaching what an actual priestess does.” Kuril wasn't going to stop teasing my feathers anytime soon. “So what was the downside of them doing this again?”
“They’ll end up in Tambelon with that crazy evil demon goat Grogar, his bell was the major source of his power and it’s somewhere in Equestria… I think?” Silverstream tilted her head while poking a claw at her beak, she is much nicer than ninety percent of the griffon girls back in Griffonstone. That and she constantly smelled of fish, which is a complement in her culture. “We’re not sure how powerful he is now without it, if his bell can temporarily turn Pinkie into ‘The Party God of Sugar Highs’ alone he can still be pretty dangerous himself. You know, that could have actually been pretty fun.”
“Yeah, until we’d die of party exhaustion and Pinkie would probably manipulate our bodies to dance forever.” I said dourly.
“Yona think Gallus should lighten up, things are not being so bad!” Yona probably meant aside from being horrible for Ocellus and Smolder who would have to face the real Grogar, and not just Discord disguised as him, until backup arrived. “Nobody is the best at fighting demons unless well prepared for it, but yaks would make a great effort of it!”
Said arrival of help was going to likely take time as the portal, those brave idiots who were going in there would use, would drop them randomly and ‘relatively’ safely into Tambelon. A place that has been noticed as being worse than Tartarus on a good day.
Until then, the four lost would arrive in Tambelon together and would have to fend for themselves, the one we’re relying on keeping them safe being 'A LAMBKIN'.
We only heard about the first world they’ve been to, which was close to Equus standards on friendly warfare. What more could they possible be going through right now?
Opening an exit location in Tambelon was going to be an even bigger problem if Grogar saw it and got back into Equestria…
Yeah, it’s little wonder they were waffling on this plan of action like so many other things.
“So when you say Jaded is doing work like what an actual Priestess does… what did you mean by that Ms. La Perm?” Sandbar asked while looking to mom… I did not just think that!
“Aside from my little Gallus here being happy to have a mother.” Why do I feel like Kuril was just as evil as her daughter and that 'good witch' moniker was just hiding it? “My by blood kitten rarely acts like a priestess that most would forget that she actually is one, so she’s doing missionary work and is handing out good books. Mostly ‘Ethics and Etiquette for braindead people’ to the changelings of how to deal with other races in a more tactful manner, Jaded read it cover to cover to learn how insult nobles better.”
-Earth, Morning, Haiti, Cooper Van, ???-
“So the Water Safety page Shanty read…” Sly stated slowly as if trying to understand what his family’s legacy did with the goat.
“Exactly, Shanty’s subconsciously picked up a magical thief trick from it like you sometimes do with finding new ways to do old tricks and her hooves did the rest. She simply can’t just stand on water… but she can certainly move on it as if it were solid. So long as she doesn’t stay still she can run, walk or hop straight across a roaring river without the current affecting her in the slightest.” Bentley had an impressive grasp on magic. I could kiss him, but I really don’t want them immediately figuring out a way to exorcise me. “So yes, that page can have a lot more uses than helping you get back onto a solid surface after falling into water. Even I didn’t know that just the right amount of information from your book could something like that and I’m studying the history of the Coopers!”
“Uh, is that one of those zombie chickens?” If I still had a beating heart, then Murray noticing my presence would have made it stop.
“Nope, no zombie chickens around here, I have no idea what you’re talking about… heh heh...” They seemed shocked and they looked about ready to take action, I covered my head with my wings. “Please don’t hurt me, I never wanted to be Ruby’s thrall and I have a very good reason for being here!”
“Is that… is that a talking zombie chicken?!” Bentley stated the obvious with shock. “Huh, you seem different from the others Ruby used. Not rotting, no stitches… perfect condition despite the swamp environment you were in. What’s your story and why shouldn’t we just shove salt down your throat this instant?”
“It’s a bit a long one. If you ever look up the name Cruella De Ville, then you’ll find a lot of nasty stuff about that family’s history. Winged werewolves, sound vampires that eat noise so they can perform perfect assassinations while you sleep and paint demons ritualistically made from the blood of the brutally slaughtered innocent people. Let’s just go with the psychotic ones of that family is a whole kit and caboodle of dangerous stuff like that up to and including actual demon blood in their family line, especially after mixing it with a magical family known as ‘De Spell’ who have this whole massive backed up magical karma problem a mile wide that always make them get their comeuppance eventually if they use their magic too much. I’m quite thankful Ruby ignored those warning signs of her own karma coming to bite her.” I had to sell them on my spiel to help me as I still had a lot to do and I had to ultimately see if I succeeded in saving my friends that one last time before Cruella… well if she doesn’t have a puppy coat yet, then me being like this was worth every bit of suffering that’s happened to me up to this point. “I’m a fountain of knowledge going at least sixty years back, also salt doesn’t work on me… fire does though and I don’t relish having to regenerate after the last few times I thought I would hopefully give up my ghost. I’m not a voodoo zombie that nature abusing… erg… I’m getting off track, but just know that I can still feel pain in excruciating detail. I just want you guys to take me to somewhere in Britain, general area, don’t care where you drop me off. I just need a ride… please? You guys freed me from voodoo witch’s control and I just want to make sure of something in the general areas around the United Kingdoms, it’s been a long time and I was close to getting back before I had run in with a ‘De Spell’ that’s related to me being here.”
I spat ‘De Spell’ like it was a curse, it probably was and I can only hope the current worst De Spell that exists in this current time frame was hit with usual laser guided karma that came at them.
Chickens were never meant to live this long… I would have to ease them into the truth. Sly looks so big… then again he was always bigger than me being a biped and I was an animal going into animalistic.
“Okay, you vaguely have our interest.” Bentley crossed his arms crossed. “Were you always a chicken with spots?”
“Yes, I love having these spots, I even grew up wanting to be a dog... a Dalmatian mostly. It actually happened once because I got lucky with magic while I wasn’t like this and still able to grow up, but… I kind of needed to turn back into a chicken to save my closest friends. It was actually quite useful that I did because of what happened in that magical village later on…” Smacking my head, I shook it and a few of my nostalgic mental marbles loose. I looked to Sly Cooper, the leader of this group that reminded me of my own long gone friends. I looked him straight in the eyes and knew I had something he would want in exchange for what I knew. “If you can get me to Britain or the United Kingdoms, then I can tell you exactly where Panda King currently is, what he’s doing and might even give you a good idea of how to bring down his operations quickly. I heard enough about him from Ruby going on about him and the others never calling over the last ten or so years of my life I’ll never get back… because I don’t even think I currently have one.”
“Do you have a name?” The narrowing of Sly’s eyes told me I hit a bullseye with something he absolutely wanted to know. “Also, if your information is good, we’ll detour to the United Kingdoms on the way to China. I’m sure you know that we’re currently laying low here.”
“Spot Irma Chicken, yes my first name is that of a dogs, my last name is what I am and my family were completely normal egg laying chickens. I’m the outlier in my family and trust me, any information you get from me is a real gold mine of knowledge. Let me give you a freebie and an early warning, China is kind of infested Jiangshi so prepare for that specific type of zombie, or vampire if you prefer, in advance. You’ll be quite thankful if you do.” I crossed my wings and nodded to myself. “In fact getting some blood of a black dog would help, especially if freely given and mixed into a burnt talisman with black ink and some of my blood, I could make something to destroy any within a mile radius of you. If I can find some dogs in Britain willing to help me, I can set that up for you so it won’t become a problem for you later… you guys just driving around with my anti-Jiangshi talisman might actually clean up the mess some of the local mystics made of those hopping mantis monsters.”
“So would you say you’re gifted in magic?” Having asked that, Bentley earned my attention.
“I’m actually a dabbler and not professionally trained in it, but I do know how to do some incredible things. Just don’t ask me to do anything related to voodoo after how long I’ve been stuck around that hack that calls herself a professional. Ruby is not someone I care about in the slightest and I’m sure all of you can understand why.” I received a nod of understanding from the three. I managed to keep away from Ruby, but I was stuck following the spirit of ‘patrol the swamp’ without ever actually going back to her because I was smarter than the literally braindead voodoo minions under her employ. “I’m a decent detective, even ran around doing some detective work under the name of Pullet Marlow… could you look that up for me Bentley? You might find something surprising, I want to see if people remember I exist. I’ve been stuck away from Britain doing a whole ton of stuff that nobody is likely to thank me for, my friends are already long dead even if the situation that caused me to be stuck far away from them worked out perfectly.”
“Yeah, sure, hold on… whoa… uh… are you sure you’re Pullet Marlow?” Bentley was boggling at what he was seeing on the screen, I rubbed the back of my left wing against my chest.
So it seems that I’m still famous for crime solving in my attempt with trying to get back to Britain, at this point I’m just hoping to at least meet their descendants and make peace with them. If they had any and things actually worked out…
“Pullet means ‘chicken’ you know, of course I’m Pullet Marlow! Call me Spot though.” I was insulted, I mean he just looked up my alternative name because I just asked about it and not many people know that name. My calling card for solving a case was one of my regenerating grey spotted feathers, I spread my wings and wiggled them in Bentley’s face. “I just happen to be a chicken, possibly one of the first and only in my bloodline to become fully animalistic… under egregiously weird magical circumstances involving an evil woman trying to kill me and failing at it in such a spectacularly ‘evil fashion’ that meant I would never see my best friends again. The barrier between animal and animalistic is actually thinner than most think it is.”
“Can you actually prove that you’re actually The Pullet Marlow?” He quirked his eyes at me in disbelief, Bentley the brains was about to hear one of my most infamous cases and it was going to be close to home for Sly.
“Conner Cooper, was almost once got caught by strange setup involving rat traps, a bowling ball, fishing line string and an amount of fly-paper that would be considered completely excessive in any other situation. I would know, I was actually there to set it up when we met in Germany… I was so close to getting home that time too...” That was not one of my better weeks and I ended up in Africa afterwards stopping elephant poachers. Being a magical undying chicken wasn’t fun by any stretch of the imagination, and would have been far happier to have never met that rhino. “If you were wondering, that was around the time Bomb Voyage was found looking tarred and feathered in the…”
“I believe you, I really do! Only Thief Net has that kind of information about what happened to Bomb Voyage that day as he eventually blew up almost all other records of it ever happening. The guy became a laughing stock because of that situation and his insistence that a chicken…” Bentley trailed off. “You were the closest to ever actually catching Conner Cooper, there were a lot people calling for you to come forward and reveal yourself to world you know. I can quite clearly see why you didn’t, nobody would have taken you seriously since you’re a… chicken. To think if Bomb Voyage hadn’t been there…”
“Yeah, I’m the one that made Bomb Voyage ‘bomb it badly’ so to speak. Conner was actually a pretty great guy… at least up until the Fiendish Five took him down. I was nowhere near the place at the time, but I still heard about it in the news. Even went to investigate as his friend to see if his wife or Sly made it out of that alive, then the whole run in with a ‘De Spell’ thing happened and I ended up as Ruby’s thrall.” I looked into Sly’s eyes finally getting it off my chest that I knew about him, I was glad to hear that he was rising up to be a great thief. “Now that we’ve established my usefulness to you… along with my connections to your father, he would be so proud of you Sly. He would have wanted you to know that it wasn’t the book that made the Cooper’s, but the Cooper’s that made that book. You got most of it back together already, don’t overlook any techniques and maybe even create a few of your own while you’re at it. Conner was amazing to see in action, you are too and Conner couldn’t even do most of the tricks in the Thievius Raccoonus and you’re mastering them like lightning. I’m pretty sure Conner left something behind for you more than the book you’re looking to fix, but that might take a while to find.”
There was a long awkward silence, so they didn’t immediately want to destroy me. I've established that I knew the previous Cooper Gang and almost successfully prevented a heist I really shouldn’t have. I even gave Conner’s son a little closure.
“So what happened to that goat kid, is she alright?” I asked in apparent worry. I might nearly be incapable of dying, but that didn’t mean other people couldn’t and that goat had some impressive moves. She didn’t seem full time Cooper Gang material though, I’ve actually seen what that’s like.
“Sly got her to a hospital with Dodo’s help after all that foul muck got into her body, our friend Mopsy is currently with her." Murray looked positively worried. "We're hoping that Ms. Carmelita doesn’t bother her and Shanty too much.”
I worried too and I actually knew what went into making those muck monsters and hoped that the goat purged those toxins out of her system quickly enough that it wasn’t too bad.
“Mopsy can take care of herself and can deal with Carmelita.” Bentley started typing away on his computer. “There isn’t much we can do to help Shanty now except wait. Looking up the information on Cruella De Ville… people are out to kill her distant nephew and Cruella was recently arrested for something involving Dalmatians. Her nephew pressed charges. Why are is a ludicrous amount of cover up attempts on all of this?!”
“The kid must be one of the few rare good De Ville’s then… otherwise he would be trying to help her avoid jail.” I started to hyperventilate once I realized what else Bentley had said, I didn’t need to breath or eat but I still acted like I did so I didn't go full zombie. “Wait… did you just say there was an incident involving Dalmatians?!”
No, no, no, not after all I’ve been through! Please don’t tell me she actually finally succeeded!
“Odd… even Thief Net is covering it up, these cover ups are all over the place. Who is this woman to warrant such levels of attention deflection?" That was not what I wanted to hear Bentley. "I think we might have to look into this more when go to the Britain."
If I go there now, then I did not want to hear like that psycho actually succeeded in skinning ninety nine puppies alive for a stupid fur coat.
“Look it’ll be okay Spot, we’ll go there to see what has you this worried when Shanty recovers… maybe it’s not as bad as it seems.” Don’t you mean ‘if’ the goat recovers Sly? I’m kind of running on a mile a minute pessimism here. “We’ll make sure to go find out what happened, sounds like another criminal mastermind I wouldn’t mind taking down a few pegs.”
“She’s pushing a hundred… it’s like she’s Scrooge McDuck or something that she can even cause enough trouble to be put in jail.” That Bentley, or she’s running on pure spite alone at this point and I wouldn’t put it past her to have even a minimal amount of magic to make it keep her going.
Cruella was smart enough to know that Pongo and Perdita, the two dogs that caused her first misfortune, were intelligent. Heck, I’m sure she knew that all the dogs she took or kidnapped were intelligent and thinking beings. She… just… doesn’t… care!
The Cruella De Ville I know is downright petty enough to hunt down their descendants and I can guarantee that one way or another the number of Dalmatians involved in that incident will have exceeded at least fifty Dalmatians.
That is if they are still alive or if most of them survived the fashion demon that could be easily seen as a living embodiment of hell itself!
To think that I was stuck here in Haiti while my friend’s descendants were recently being hunted down.
-Camden Town, Dalmation Home, Pom-
This morning was going alright, no puppies having nightmares thanks to me and I helped Dante load up the food bowls.
The puppies even started mentioning that they couldn’t have any nightmares when they would rather have sweet dreams of snuggling me. Da Vinci’s painting would certainly help when I had to leave.
“I’m not going break it Pom!” I heard Dolly angrily shouting from upstairs. “And you will teach me how to help you, because I know you know how to train dogs!"
A small grin graced my lips, Dolly had a great set of lungs on her.
“What did you do to her today to get that reaction? Also, is it me or has Dolly actually gotten louder?” Dante the reverse Dalmatian asked curiously and I broke out my notepad and sketching something down. I showed him exactly what I did to Dolly today. “Oh… that’s a good one, but my sister Dolly is really quite stubborn. Dylan would have quit by now... probably why this bond thing didn’t happen with him.”
Yes, I was beginning to see that Dolly wasn’t going to relent on our having a bond. I really didn’t want to wander into puppy kicking territory to get her to break it, I couldn't hurt a sweetie like Dorothy.
“Thanks for helping with breakfast Pom, I figured I should do more for the pups than mope about my predictions now that they are ‘mostly’ under control.” He even air quoted with his four digits on his front paws. “Breakfast!”
It wasn’t quite the same as hearing Dolly shout ‘breakfast’, but it worked all the same as a flood of puppies flowed in bringing a grumpy looking Dolly with a cone around her neck. I glued the locking mechanism shut so it would be impossible to remove.
“Not… stopping… this, this right here... this isn’t nearly enough to get me to quit!” Dolly proclaimed using the cone around her head as a megaphone as she pointed to it with both her paws.
Her many brothers and sisters were giggling into their paws about it.
“I don’t know Dolly, Pom really doesn’t think you’ll be safe even if she were to train you…” Dylan tried and Dolly held up a paw to him.
“Dyl… don’t… just don’t. She glued this cone to my head!” Technically around your head Dolly, only the latch was glued down and there’s solvent for it… which I gave to Dylan. Dylan is effectively getting a little payback for Dolly being so lazy with the chores and leaving him to do all that work. “Also I can totally handle whatever training she could put me through, if she’d just give me a chance!”
“Like I ever got a chance to do astro dog training?!" Dylan said angrily while waving his right paw at her. "We both know how that went given that’s when we first dealt with Hunter. You got to go play fire dog and even spent a day with Pearl acting like a police dog!”
Dylan dreamed of being the first dog on Mars and I believed he could do it, if he wasn’t so busy selflessly caring for his whole family that he couldn’t even pursue his own dreams.