Rumble's jaw had almost started to hurt from all the smiling he had done in these last few days. After the CCC ended, he went to bed with a huge grin. The next day he had visited Thunderlane in Ponyville, and they had celebrated together. He even spent the night back in his old home- he was definitely going to take advantage of the first time Ramson had given him a few days off.
Now he sat on the train back to Canterlot, looking at his own flank and still grinning like a fool.
A crossed knife and fork, behind a spinning dice showing the numbers four, five and six. The knife and fork were simple enough, it was because his love for cooking and having other ponies enjoy what he had made. The dice was harder to explain, but after a meeting with the Crusaders he thought he knew what was the meaning of it. Not only did he need their help to figure the mark out, but it also felt like a good occasion to properly apologise for that time when he had started a blank-flank camp. What had he been thinking back then?
When he described how he got the mark and what had happened during the competition, the three of them had argued for a while before arriving at the conclusion that the dice was probably there because he always went through with what he felt was right, even if he wasn't sure how it was going to turn out. Like when he agreed to cook the finale dish himself, despite him just being a sous-chef, or when he chose to help Cozy with her escape, or when he trusted Flurry to help him and Cozy become special someponies.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained… yep, that did fit in on him. He had decided that's how he would choose to interpret his new cutie mark.
He had his cutie mark!
"Canterlot Station! Please pick up your baggage and check the shelves so you don't forget anything. Equestrian Railways wish you a pleasant day!" Somepony called from the magical speaker in his cart, as the train started to slow down.
Rumble grabbed his saddlebags and took off in the air , flying above the unicorns and earth ponies who clogged up the corridor. Might as well enjoy the fact that he was still a colt while it lasted.
He was one of the first ponies out of the train and immediately flew upwards, away from the crowded floor.
Not even a minute later, he heard a familiar voice calling him. "Hey, Rumble! I'm here!" Turning around, he saw Cozy Glow and Flurry both sitting cooped up on the top of a lamp where he was absolutely certain they were not allowed to sit, but evidently nopony could see them from the floor.
Still, he didn't feel like adding any extra weight to the massive lamp that was only held up with a gold link chain, so he settled for hovering. "Hi! I didn't think you'd come to meet me!"
"But that's what a special somepony should do," Cozy said with a sly smirk. "Don't you think so, Flurry?"
Flurry shot him an anxious smile before she proceeded to peek down on the floor. Clearly she knew just as well as Rumble that they were not supposed to be up there. "Uh-huh, I'm sure," she said absently.
"Good golly, stop worrying so much," Cozy huffed. "The more you look the bigger the risk somepony sees you. We're fine."
Flurry mumbled something before she scooted closer to Cozy, away from the lamp edge. "Can't we go home now?"
"Yeah, I want to get my saddlebags off of me before anything else," Rumble said.
"Alright," Cozy said and hopped from the lamp with enough force to make it swing. Flurry hopped away too in slight panic at the movement, causing it to swing even more. "Hmm… let's get out of here before anypony can pin it on us if it falls."
The three of them left the station and landed on the street outside before starting to make their way up to the castle. Both Cozy and Flurry kept looking at his new cutie mark as he explained its meaning to them, according to the Crusaders.
"So your cutie mark is for being daring then?" Cozy asked with a satisfied look. "Hmm… I think I like that in my special somepony."
"Yeah? And what would you have done if I got something lame?" Rumble asked teasingly.
"Well, you wouldn't blame me if I'd broken up with you, right?" Cozy said innocently. "As a future Princess, I can't have a lame pony as my future prince."
Rumble glared, then he decided to show exactly how daring he was. "Well, I suppose I'd have to ask Flurry out instead then. She's already a Princess."
Flurry immediately blushed. Now it was Cozy's turn to glare, but her hellish gaze made Rumble's glare look about as threatening as a nuzzle from a dog. "You are a brave pony, I'll give you that," she hissed. She didn't have to say anything more to drive her point home.
"I am, aren't I?" He said proudly. He poked Cozy's side with his muzzle. "Come on, don't be mad. You know I was kidding."
Cozy grumbled something, then looked sharply at Flurry . "Flurry, you aren't actually… like…?" she asked tentatively.
Flurry shook her head. "Mommy and dad like one another a lot, so I thought I should also find somepony like that, but mom says I'm not old enough for mushy stuff yet."
"What did you two do yesterday?" Rumble asked, keen on quickly leaving this subject behind. It had just been a joke! He didn't mean for this discussion to happen.
"Magic training with Twilight," Flurry said. "I can levitate almost ten things at the same time now, if I concentrate really hard! And then Cozy and I had a friendship discussion with her too. We talked about who was most generous: a poor pony who gave somepony else their last bit, or a rich pony who gave them a lot of bits but also had a lot left after."
"Right," Rumble said. He really didn't understand the point of those friendship lessons, but Twilight knew best, of course.
"And then I wrote a letter back home. I like it here, but I miss my mom and dad," Flurry said.
Rumble noticed how Cozy's ear flicked and how her tail swished sharply. Her face changed for a split second, like she's bitten something sour before she hid it.
"Is there something wrong?" Flurry asked. She clearly picked up on her new mood just as easily as Rumble did. "You don't feel… like you are happy anymore."
"No, never mind," Cozy said dryly. "It's just... something silly."
"Silly stuff can still be important though," Flurry continued . "Especially if it makes you sad, it must be important."
"No, it's not! It's nothing!" Cozy snapped, pupils contracting and a vein bulging on her forehead. Flurry jumped back at her sudden burst of anger, looking bewildered and afraid at the pink filly in front of her. Cozy's expression quickly changed to surprise and regret, seeing how her friend reacted. "I'm... I'm s-sorry, Flurry. I didn't mean to shout," Cozy mumbled, avoiding Flurry's eyes.
"It's... fine," Flurry replied, looking with concern at Cozy.
"I… I just don't want to talk about it, okay?" Cozy said quietly.
"Oh… okay," Flurry said, ears flicked back.
No, it was not oaky, and Rumble knew it. If there was something that disturbed Cozy, then he had to get to the bottom with what it was. Not only because he wanted to support her, but also because a secretive Cozy was a potentially dangerous Cozy, for everypony involved.
But if his hunch on her sudden change of mood was right, it was better to wait until they were alone.
"Well… I should probably head home to my grandparents," Flurry said. "They said they'd take me to the Canterlot Museum of Modern Art. I don't know what modern art is, but it's probably nice! You could probably come with, if you want."
"Not today, thank you," Rumble smiled. "I'd really like to get some rest in before Ramson gets back on me tomorrow… 'cause I have a feeling that when he said I could have a few days off, what he really meant was that I could do three days worth of work in one day instead."
"Not you either, Cozy?" Flurry asked, but Rumble suspected she could feel Cozy's reluctance.
"No, I don't… I really don't feel like going out anymore today, sorry." She really did look apologetic too. "But I'll go with you some other day, if you want. I promise."
Flurry smiled. "Okay. I'll see if it's any good."
Flurry broke off from their group and waved before she disappeared down a side street. After her hasty departure Rumble found himself wondering if he had sensed how he wanted to be alone with Cozy, or if it had all been a convenient coincidence.
She must have felt it. With a pony like her, there were probably no coincidences.
Now for the hard part: getting a reluctant Cozy to share her troubles.
"You know," he began carefully. "If there is something wrong, I'd really hope you told your special somepony. You know, so I could help you."
"You can't help me," Cozy huffed, a familiar, spiteful frown on her face. "Nopony can, and I'm not bothered by it! I don't even care! Not one bit, UNDERSTOOD!?"
He had been spared from her tantrums for so long he had forgotten just how sudden and violent they could be. He backed away by instinct, and several ponies turned to look at them. To his annoyance, most of them looked displeased to see who it was.
"You sound like you are bothered," Rumble continued, hoping he was far enough away to react if she decided to try and hit him. "Is it… about your family somehow? Are you... jealous of Flurry?"
Cozy glared, and he saw her jaw clench.
After a moment of tension, she sighed, and the anger ran right off of her. As usual, her tantrums were at least brief. "Well… I have been thinking lately. About something I think I have to do."
Rumble was quiet, but he kept his ears lifted and looked at her, to let her know he listened. Something told him he shouldn't rush her.
"You know I'm… I don't have any parents," Cozy said stiffly, as if trying to distance herself from the coldness of the statement with her voice. "Or at least there is nopony who'd say I was their daughter." An uncomfortable silence fell between the foals. Rumble could feel how the subject bothered the filly in front of him. "But sometimes…" She frowned.
"…You miss it?" Rumble asked carefully. They passed under the castle battlements and into the castle proper.
Cozy nodded slowly. "I've been thinking about visiting… my orphanage. And Cheerful Sun too. So I can... thank her for looking after me, even if I wasn't a very good filly. And I want to apologize, for all the bad stuff I did. Even after my parents didn't… want me… she took me in and helped me and I… never even thanked her." Rumble could feel it in her voice how hard it was for Cozy to even say these words. Deciding to ignore the possibility of getting smacked by her, she got closer and gently wrapped a wing over Cozy's back.
"Do… you want me to come with? We could ask Twilight to take us there, and I'd be right next to you, if you want." Rumble asked carefully.
She stopped to regard him. When he looked back, something hard in the depths of her eyes seemed to loosen. It must have been the first time when he could really see that, deep down, she was just a filly. "Golly…" she said. Her voice was quivering just a little with emotion. "You'd do that for me?"
"Of course," Rumble said. "It's what special someponies do for each other."
Cozy opened her mouth and closed it, as if she wanted to say something. A frown, much smaller and more gentle appeared on her face. She looked around as if to make sure nopony was watching. Then, without a word, she caught him in a hug.
She was small and light against him. Pleasantly warm and soft too in the chill of winter. For a moment he was stunned by the unabashed affection. It was so unusual for Cozy to show him that side of herself. Only after his brain had triple-checked it for him did he bring up his own hoof to hug her back. "You don't know how much I needed to hear that." He heard a muffled whisper next to his ear.
"Why?" He asked, caressing her slowly, somewhat awkward. "Are you worried?"
Cozy took a deep breath and nodded. "What if she wishes she never took me in? After… everything I did. What if she wishes she just threw me out when I came? So she didn't have to raise a pony who… who did everything I did?" Her ears continued to droop as she spoke.
"Or maybe she is proud to see how far you have come," Rumble suggested, squeezing the filly a bit closer to his chest. "The princess's personal student and everything…"
"Heh… I suppose we can hope," Cozy said, as gently let go of Rumble with a smile that did not quite reach her eyes. She was clearly nervous. Hopefully he'd be able to make her forget what worried her, so she could go to her old home with an open mind and get some sort of closure. At least, that's what he guessed she was after, but he didn't really know.
"I'm sure Twilight could help us get there right now, if you want," he said.
She balked slightly. Clearly she had not thought to do this today. Then she swallowed. "I guess there's no time like the present, right?" It sounded like she hoped he could convince her.
"That's the spirit!" he patted her on the back. "Come. Let's see if we can't find Twilight."
Cozy nodded, but she let him lead the way and looked like she had to marshal quite a bit of courage for every step she took. This clearly was difficult for her.
But she did go to face one of her fears, so it wasn't strange that she was apprehensive. But at least if he was with her, hopefully it could grant her a little bit of confidence.
"Do you want to go now?" Twilight asked.
"Yes… please," Cozy replied silently. She had to forcefully push the words over her lips. "Could you send us to… to my old orphanage? You've been there, right? I've got to see Cheerful Sun again. Thank her for everything and… and I need to know some things."
Twilight would want to know what, but Cozy didn't want to explain to her too. It had been hard enough with Rumble. Twilight would just have to wait. Maybe Rumble would explain to her, if she asked him to?
"Oh… of course," Twilight said, evidently surprised to hear the reason for Cozy's wish. "Do you… want me to come with you?" She asked with a gentle tone, crouching down to have her head on Cozy's level.
Cozy shook her head. "No, this is… just for me. And I've got Rumble."
Twilight nodded serenely. "Okay, Cozy. Good luck. I think Cheerful Sun will be very happy to see you. When I visited, she told me that you'd always have a home with her, if you wanted it."
Cozy remembered Twilight had said the same thing before. But Cozy still needed to hear it from Cheerful Sun herself. She knew her old caretaker was a nice pony, but she was also meek. If Cozy had to guess, she didn't think Cheerful would say anything that might make Princess Twilight angry.
But no matter; she'd soon have an answer.
She and Rumble both huddled up against Twilight when she cast the spell. Cozy felt how the hardwood floor suddenly was replaced by clouds. When she opened her eyes, she found herself on a very familiar street… familiar, even though she felt like it was a lifetime since she was here last. The buildings were somewhat low and square, far from the extravagant buildings with columns and rainbows Cloudsdale was known for. The colorful flowers by the door to the closest building were the same color as she remembered; yellow on the left and red on the right, with a hanging pot of small blue flowers above the door. Spring Shower Orphanage stood written over the door.
She felt strangely dull when she saw them. This place had been her home for years. Only weeks after she made her very first artefact and got her cutie mark, she had been sent here.
Here she had learned the value of friendship… here she had first decided that she wanted to become a princess, just like Twilight. In a way, this place ended one chapter in her life, and then several years later, it began a new one.
Ironically, neither of the chapters that had begun nor ended here were happy memories.
"I'll… be back here in a few hours," Twilight mumbled discreetly behind her. She pretended not to hear that Twilight whispered to Rumble. "Please look after her," before she disappeared with a crackle.
"Are you ready, Cozy?" Rumble asked carefully, coming up next to her.
No, she wasn't… What if Cheerful also hated her? Cheerful was almost like a mother to Cozy! Even if they didn't always get along, Cheerful Sun had still helped Cozy as much as she could. She was the only pony who cared about her for several years.
She didn't… want Cheerful to hate her. Nearly anypony else she could live with, but not her.
Rumble stepped forward, next to her, up to the door. She felt her throat constrict, but watching him helped her regain some control over herself. She took a shaky step forward. He brightened and then took her hoof in his.
His calm, steady look and hoof finally managed to chase away the worst fear. She nudged him as a way of expressing her gratitude, and then they proceeded inside, even if he still went first.
The foyer was neat with sofas along the edge and a table with a vase of flowers in it. There was nopony there, but there was a bell on the counter towards the back of the room.
They went up to the counter together. Cozy hopped up on the counter and grabbed the bell in her mouth, but she didn't ring it. She took a couple of deep breaths first. She felt Rumble looking at her.
"Golly, I can't believe I'm here again," she half though, half whispered. Then she bobbed her head to ring the bell a few times. No turning back now. She fluttered back down, next to Rumble.
Hoofsteps approached and she swallowed. Her eyes felt like they were glued to the door behind the counter. She couldn't look away. Somepony on the other side pressed the handle down.
A familiar pony stepped through. She looked just like last time they had seen each other. A pale-yellow coat and a soft blue mane that gravitated towards the left and parted around her ear. She even had the same patient, kind and a little bit tired look in her eyes! Cheerful Sun.
Her ocean-green eyes landed on Cozy.
"H-hi," Cozy stammered once she got control of her tongue. "You… remember me, right?"
"Cozy… Glow," Cheerful said slowly, blinking repeatedly. "Is it… really you?"
Cozy nodded. "I'm… it's me. I wanted to say I'm sorry. For all the bad stuff I did when I lived here." She swallowed. "It was… me who stole Misty Meadows's favorite pencil… and I ruined Morning Light's painting too and… and… I'm sorry," she finished, feeling small. Cheerful probably did not even remember those things.
She couldn't see what her old caretaker was thinking. Was she angry with her? Cozy fidgeted where she sat. Cheerful Sun went around the counter and up to her. She sat down across from her on the floor, still looking as if she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing.
"I didn't think you'd ever come back here," the mare said quietly.
Cozy braced herself. She felt her special somepony extend a wing over her back. The soft touch helped a little bit. Enough that she could, barely, with a threadbare little voice, ask the damning question. "Do… you hate me?" She didn't dare to look up at Cheerful's face. She squeezed her eyes shut and awaited her verdict.
Her heart hammered loudly in her chest. Even with Rumble's quiet, soothing presence she felt like she wanted to fly away in blind panic.
"I'd never hate any of my little ones, Cozy. Even if we… didn't get along, I still care about you." For some reason, Cheerful looked just as nervous as Cozy about something now that the initial surprise had passed. "Did… Twilight tell you she was here?"
Cozy nodded warily. She still hadn't gotten an answer to her question. "You kept my rook all this time."
"Her visit got me thinking too," Cheerful mumbled. "That maybe if I had been better… if I had tried to reach out to you more… or just… done something, then maybe all of this hadn't happened. I could have… saved you. But I didn't." Cheerful finished with a small, guilt-ridden sort of tone.
Cozy cocked her head to the side. She was so worried her old caretaker would be angry at her, yet she felt guilty. Guilty about what Cozy had done. "Don't blame yourself, it was just… me and my behavior. I felt so… angry and sad about what happened to me, I would never have listened."
"But I should have tried. I'm supposed to look out for all my little ones," Cheerful whispered with a frown.
"Well, you took me in, right? Even when… nopony else wanted me," Cozy said, feeling the familiar pang in her heart. "And I'm not angry with you. You were kind to me."
Cheerful smiled a little. "And I don't hate you, Cozy. Wherever you go, and whatever you become in this world, you will always have a home with me, if you need it."
Cozy didn't respond. Instead, she walked up to the mare and without a word, wrapped her small hooves around Cheerful's back. For a brief moment, Cheerful looked surprised, but quickly returned the hug. Cozy couldn't remember hugging her before, the way the other foals in her orphanage would - to show how much they cared about her efforts to make their life a little bit better.
Rumble stood a little bit away as the two of them hugged, feeling a little awkward.
It was a bit weird to see Cozy act like this. She almost never displayed affection so openly and unabashed as this. In fact, he had no idea who she could care so much about as to hug for minutes on end, just sitting in their embrace. Seeing this gave him a poignant message about just how little he really knew about his special somepony. He had only known her for some months. One year ago he had never heard her name.
But her life had begun far earlier than he came into it, and he knew nothing about it. This was the first insight he got into her past.
Finally they parted. There was not a trace of anxiety on Cozy's face. She looked… genuinely happy.
"Who is your friend, Cozy?" the headmistress asked, wiping her eyes with a hoof.
"This is… my very special somepony. Rumble, from Ponyville," Cozy said.
"Nice to meet you," Rumble greeted the mare.
"You too. I'm Cheerful Sun, the caretaker of this orphanage. I looked after Cozy too, when she lived here." Rumble nodded. He had understood that much.
"Golly…" Cozy said. "Is… anypony else still here? Dreamscape? Or Tumble Wind?"
Cheerful shook her head, but she didn't look sad. "Both of them have been adopted. Dreamscape moved into her new home only a few weeks ago."
"Oh…" Cozy looked cloven at that. "Well, that's good for them. I'm… happy."
"We all are, Cozy," Cheerful said. "Whenever somepony finds a new home. Speaking of…"
She hesitated a little bit. "Are you? Happy, I mean, with where you are?"
Cozy nodded. She didn't even hesitate!
Cheerful furrowed her brow. "Honest? Because the Cozy Glow I knew didn't… forgive or forget. Of course I'm happy that you have, but…"
Cozy sighed. "Well… I haven't forgotten. But I'm happy," Rumble saw her sneak a glance at him. "I really am."
Cheerful smiled softly. "You don't even know how happy it makes me, Cozy."
"Can… I have a look around? Just… for old times sake?" Cozy asked.
Cheerful cocked her head to the side. "I guess… but please don't disturb anypony. I don't want them to feel like they are being watched by random ponies."
"Of course," Cozy said, with a rare respectful voice.
Had Rumble just watched her give a promise because she wanted to and with no ulterior motives? Now he had seen everything…
Cheerful guided them back through the door. A corridor laid on the other side with a few doors. "The little ones are eating now, so you can look into the playroom and bedroom if you want," Cheerful said. "I have to get back to watching them." Her eyes dwelled on Cozy. "Good bye then, Cozy Glow. I'm happy you have found someplace to call home. I really am, more than you can understand."
"Bye, Cheerful. Thanks for… for everything. Even if I wasn't a good filly back then." Cozy said quietly.
Cheerful smiled softly. "Don't think about it. I forgave you a long time ago." With that, she disappeared down the hallway.
"Thanks…" Cozy said. After a few moments, she followed Cheerful out the door and into a corridor. She pushed open a nearby door. Rumble followed her in.
Toys in all colors laid haphazardly around the room. Plush-ponies, toy-swords and pillows. Various building kits, board games and balls. Cozy slowly stepped inside with a sense of awe.
"It's just like I remember," she said quietly. She poked a doll with her hoof. "This is Tilted Wing. She was my favorite."
"Huh…" Rumble looked down at the inconspicuous doll. It was clearly rather old, but he liked to think that the wear and tear was due to a lot of love. One of the button-eyes hung just a tiny bit askew, and one of the wings that were supposed to stand up on the doll's back now hung at the side. "Hello, Tilted Wing… I'm Rumble. I suppose I should thank you for looking after Cozy for me when she was here?"
"Stop being silly," Cozy huffed, a blush of embarrassment spreading on her cheeks.
"Heh…" Rumble smiled and took the doll in his hooves and looked into its button eyes. "Just… don't worry about her, okay? I'll take it from here. She's in good hooves… she's the Princess's own student now, if you can believe it."
"Tsk…" Cozy said, but there was a soft look in her eyes when she looked at the doll. "Come on, we're going."
Rumble nodded and respectfully sat Tilted Wing down. He went to the door and pretended not to notice how Cozy nuzzled the doll quickly. Well out in the corridor again, then skipped one door where they heard voices, and went into the last door.
This room was dark and gloomy and had several beds against the wall. One bigger bed in the middle, and then six or seven smaller clouds a bit above the ground. It was common to let pegasus foals sleep on separate clouds like that. They soon learned to feel safe on them, once they were too old to sleep with their parents.
Cozy hopped into the air and flew up to one cloud. "This used to be my bed," she said. Rumble followed her up. A small, hoof-made sign told him that this cloud now belonged to a certain "Rose Dust".
"Did you sleep well?" Rumble asked, more because he didn't know what else he could say about a bed than because of curiosity.
Cozy nodded. "After a while… when I didn't miss my real mother so much."
Rumble decided it was a good time to put a hoof on her shoulder. "I'll never be able to understand how that felt… but me and Flurry, and Twilight too, we're here for you now instead. You know that, right?"
Cozy closed her eyes and nodded. "I've begun to learn that." She took one last look at the bed. "We… can leave. I just needed to see it again."
"Then… do you feel better?" Rumble asked.
Cozy nodded. "It's… like one thing that I don't have to worry about. One little part of my past that I can put to rest now."