Fallen

by Rated Ponystar

Broken Diamond

Unlike Celestia and Rainbow Dash, Rarity is staring at me with sorrow and pain. I do not know if it's directed at me or because of what she has suffered. While some defectors were content to keep track of their families and friends back home, I had done my best to avoid doing so. It's why I didn't know about the deaths of Rainbow's parents until today. It was already painful enough to be fighting them. I didn't want anything to hinder me if I had to make a difficult choice in the war. Sadly, some news I did hear about as time went on, and one of those was Rarity's loss of both her husband and her child. 
 
Valiant Wave was one of Twilight's bodyguards ever since we landed on Earth. Celestia had been adamant about her having them since some humans didn't take kindly to us arriving even in the early years. Rarity had been utterly smitten by the handsome pegasus and soon started to woo him over. The two were soon inseparable, and I was all for supporting their relationship. I was even one of the bridesmaids at the wedding years later. 
 
The last happy event the six of us celebrated was when Rarity announced she was pregnant. Not long after, I finally defected. 
 
"Hello, Fluttershy," Rarity whispers with a small smile. "I'm glad you're alright...I was...worried that Rainbow Dash might actually have killed you."
 
"No, but she really came close," I muttered while getting up to stand face to face with her. 
 
She doesn't look as beautiful as I remember her to be. In fact, this is the least graceful state I have ever seen of Rarity. Her mane was barely standing in its proper design, and her coat was slightly brushed instead of the usual dedication that she put into it. There was no eyeliner, no make-up, no lipstick. Even her tail was without its typical curl. However, the worst thing to look at is her eyes. I have seen plenty of broken souls on both sides during my time in the war, and Rarity has a similar look, but more so of a civilian's shattered expression than that of a soldier. 
 
With a soldier, they are prepared at least to know what awaits them on the battlefield. They train and steel themselves for it, even if they end up losing it in the end. Civilians on the other hand? I've never gotten used to seeing them so disheartened. The average person in life, be it pony or human, wants to get up, go to their job, hang out with friends, and go to sleep the next day to do it all over again. What happens when your home is vaporized? Your family, friends, and neighbors all killed or transformed into a creature that is programmed to reject everything about you? Seeing massive amounts of terror, fear, and hopelessness as your world crumbles around you while millions die from powers you cannot understand and thought to be pure fiction just a decade and a half ago?
 
Despite humanity winning the war, it's still suffering even as victory draws near. And it will still have to suffer for generations. The weight of everything they once knew of their everyday life has been ruined by bloodshed, destruction, and loss. And it was never going to return to normal.
 
Rarity wasn't like Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Celestia. She wasn't one to fight or get involved in a war and not just because she didn't want to get dirty. I've seen her hold her own in a fight to defend herself, but Rarity wasn't a soldier. She would never take a life if she could help it or even fight to the last breath if it came down to it. Rarity was a creator, not a destroyer. This is why I knew, deep down, she hated the war as well. 
 
She may never have said it or acted on it, but I knew she was against it. I think even Pinkie Pie was against the war, but like Rarity, she has done nothing out of fear. Yet it was me who had defected to do the right thing. Out of all six of us, I was the one—the pony who was once afraid of her own shadow. I guess we never really know our true potential until the proper time comes?
 
"Are you here to convince me to use my Element as well?" I ask with a heavy sigh.
 
"Yes, but I'm not here to force you. I am here to beg you to do it," Rarity asks, lowering her head. "If not for the sake of all us suffering from this war, then at least for me."
 
"Rarity, I won't do it," I answer with a shake of my head. "Not even for you. I won't risk it."
 
"For heaven's sake, Fluttershy!" Rarity shouts, glaring at me. "Do you hate us that much that you would see those barbarians slaughter us all?! Rape us until we're nothing but broodmares?! Foals are being told right now that if humans try to attack us, we must consider the possibility of ending our lives and joining our loved ones in Elysium! And you won't do anything to stop it?!"
 
"What the hell can I do to stop it?!" I scream back. I wasn't that high up the chain of command for the resistance, nor did I have any political clout with the U.N. via military or political. I might have been one of the most famous traitors in this war, but I cannot stop the burning desire for billions of people's justice. "Even if I was to do this, do you really think that the Elements of Harmony will be able to stop the Thalmann Generators?! They were able to help kill Princess Luna! One of the most powerful beings in Equestria! I know the Elements of Harmony are powerful, but they are still magic! And even if they can resist it, how long will it last? The humans will just make the generators stronger or come up with some other kind of weapon to destroy it!"
 
"Maybe we can just keep it last long enough to negotiate-"
 
"They will not negotiate until Equestria has completely and unconditionally surrendered. I know that much, at least," I answer with a tired sigh. "Besides, we both know that Celestia will never do so. Not when she's lost so much. She will never co-exist with a species that killed her family, much less the ponies she loves. She hates humanity, Rarity. I do not know why she does, but she hates them. She'll fight on until her last breath and bring everypony down with her just because she cannot accept that she was wrong nor live in a world where they exist."
 
"...The princess is just trying to protect us, Fluttershy," Rarity states which only makes me roll my eyes. "You saw what it was like those early years when we were here! Our embassies were attacked! We got booed and jeered at Twilight's world tour and even harassed! Some humans murdered or even raped ponies in the human lands before the war! Not to mention how barbaric some of their cultural practices are! Stoning same-sex lovers to death?! Slavery?! Labor camps?! Plus, there was all that horrible-"
 
"Yes, Rarity, I get it," I interrupt. "I'm not saying they are perfect. God knows I've seen that in all the time I've been on this planet. Yet, I have also seen ponies and humans playing and enjoying each other's company. Their art and music were popular before they all got banned. Even their cultural institutions were unique and gaining ground. Ponies liked humanity until Celestia made them all look like demons."
 
She tries to say something, but I continue. "Plus, they thought of things none of us have ever dreamed of! The idea of representatives in government for the people? That they vote to represent them so that their grievances could be hard? It would give the common pony a say in how things are run instead of just letting the elites or royals guide us! Separation of church and state? There are numerous ponies out there, including Twilight, who never believed in the Church of Harmony, but all other faiths are forbidden or ignored. They have such an influence in our government and lives we have no choice but to obey their words as gospel. The humans allowed their governments and religions to be separate by having neither influence the other. Not to mention all the significant scientific discoveries they have made that have changed their world. Advancements that we could have achieved if we worked together with them instead of teeming technology like a bunch of zealous Luddites!"
 
"Not all the human lands did this," Rarity points out. "China alone is responsible for countless deaths and violations of the so-called human rights that every so-called 'civilized nation' vows to uphold but never did anything to really defend it."
 
"That is true. I'll admit that," I say with a nod. "But over time, those ideas I talked about were slowly starting to spread and appeal to others. Yes, they had their flaws, but what system doesn't? How are other non-pony citizens of Equestria treated back when we were in our home dimension? Remember how scared we were of Zecora? Ponyville was practically the only place she felt safe even after that because there were still other cities and towns that feared her. Non-ponies like here were often treated as second-class citizens at best because we're so xenophobic about every little creature hurting us due to the past wars and conflicts. Sound familiar, huh? Plus, almost all the nobles in Equestria were unicorns with barely any pegasus or earth ponies getting high-class titles or positions. There was also a bias against those who decided to go against the standard racial expectations. Such as an earth pony wanting to study magic, a pegasus wanting to be a farmer or a unicorn who wanted to learn whether. What was wrong with them trying?"
 
"B-Because... it's just now how it's done!" Rarity tried to state. "For over a thousand years-"
 
"That's just it, Rarity," I state as I poke at her chest. "For one thousand years, Equestria rarely ever changed because Celestia only allowed changes she thought were proper. Because we all were told that Celestia was the only one who could make the decisions. Either because she had been our leader for so long, or we believed her to be a living goddess. But Celestia has made mistakes. She failed to see her sister's suffering until she turned into Nightmare Moon. She failed to see that Cadence was not acting her usual self and was a changeling queen all along." One thing that she also failed to properly apologize for now that I think about it. "And now she's made the mistake of assuming the worst about humanity, just like you, and everypony goes along with it because they cannot even think that maybe, just maybe, there are other ways out there that work instead of just kissing her royal behind!"
 
"Oh, what do you know!" Rarity growled as she turned away with a huff. "You haven't lost anyone to them, Fluttershy! You have no idea what they've done to us! To me!"
 
Despite having her head turned, I hear a soft sob that makes me close my eyes. I slowly walk over to her and put my hoof on her shoulder. "Rarity. I'm sorry about Valiant Wave and your foal. I know you loved him very much." She started to sob harder. "And I know you were excited about being a mother. Believe me, you would have been a great one with how you raised Sweetie Belle all these years."
 
"...Were you in Dubai when it happened?" Rarity asked.
 
"No, I was still training to be a combat medic. I didn't officially join the war until after Berlin was wiped out. My first battle was San Diego."
 
"...his legs had been blown off by a grenade," Rarity slowly closed her eyes and sat down on her haunches. Tears began to cascade down her cheeks as she continued, "They did all they could to save him, but the loss of so much blood...the doctors said that...his final words...was that he loved me so much..."
 
"Rarity..."
 
"They offered a closed casket funeral service, but I wanted an open one. I wanted to see Valiant's face one last time, even if it was as pale as a ghost and motionless as a rock. I couldn't say anything. Not at the wake, or the funeral, or even at the burial. I couldn't speak. All I could think about was how I had lost my husband, my child's father, to those Celestia damn dirty apes!" She hissed before glaring at me. "They took him from me! They stole him from me! I wanted to see every single one of your precious humans wiped off the face of the planet for what they had done! I wanted to see them all destroyed!"
 
I say nothing. I let Rarity roar in grief, but deep down, I sympathize. I really do wish this war never happened.
 
"And then what happened?! My baby decides to come out shortly after, and I'm thinking that at least I have him! At least I have my son! But when I brought him into this world, he didn't cry! Not once, and do you want to know why, Fluttershy?!" Suddenly, she slaps me as hard as she can, but I don't hit back. This is not the first time I have had to deal with a grieving wife and mother. Not when I have personally signed their time of death and gave them the news. "Because my baby was dead! Stillborn! I don't know how or why, but I don't care! I've suffered enough! I'm done! I want this bucking war to end, and you will help us do it, or so help me I will personally force you to do this! I do not deserve this! I never have! I was a good mare! I did everything right! This should never have happened to me!"
 
She wipes the tear from her eyes and looks at me with both anger and despair. "Do you understand what I am going through, Fluttershy? Do you? Or are your precious humans more important than my suffering?"

Rarity takes a few deep breaths as I stand there with a small tear going down my eye. Not just for Rarity, but for Valiant Wing and her child. For all the losses we have suffered from this war.
 
"...What you have lost hurts me, Rarity. Believe me," I answer honestly. "I liked Valiant Wave. I really thought he was a good stallion, even if he believed in Celestia's rhetoric. And your child? No baby should have its life ended before it should begin." I then sit down and shake my head. "And yet...what you have just told me I have also heard from others. Pony and human. Mothers. Fathers. Children. Grandparents. Brothers. Sisters. Husbands. Wives. Cousins. Aunts. Uncles. Godfathers. Godmothers. Friends. Neighbors. Every type of person you can imagine I have seen lose someone close to them." 
 
Rarity says nothing, but I continue anyway. "What you feel now, Rarity? That is the pain billions of ponies and humans are going through day by day because of this war. Both sides have lost so much it has driven things to the point that both sides want nothing but total annihilation for the other. I want this war to end. I want to stop all the deaths, anger, and tears. Believe me, I do. Do you think I want to see the life of a five-year-old toddler leave his eyes as he asks where mommy is before passing on? Do you think I enjoy sawing off the arm of a grown man who is crying because his lover died in his arms? I once had to deliver a baby from a dying mother who prayed to every god out there that her child would live but died a few days later from a weak heart. I've seen hundreds of orphans who are scarred for life." I feel tears coming down my eyes as I realize that I am crying as well. "And that's just the humans. I've seen just as much from the ponies I rescued too. There are even those that try to kill themselves because they are utterly terrified and convinced that they are going to suffer fates worse than death." 
 
I point to her and say what needs to be said, even if it sounds harsh. "Your suffering, Rarity. I get that. But so am I. So are billions of others, both human and pony. We're all suffering, and until the war ends, this isn't going to stop."
 
"Then...why?" Rarity asks, near pleading. "Why won't you..."
 
"Because this suffering was started by Equestria," I point out. "We declared war. We told the humans to convert or die. We invaded this world, and we tried to change into our image without considering the opinions or values of the other species who lived here. We tried to change this world's nature into something that it's not meant nor wants to be. Both sides may be suffering, Rarity, but in the end, it was us who started it...I helped start this by bringing us into this world with you and the girls. And I will do whatever I can to make up for that by ending it."
 
"And what have you lost in this war compared to what I have?" Rarity bitterly asked.
 
I think about my parents and my brother. The friendships that I once had. The neighbors I used to wave at. The humans and ponies in the resistance that I saw as a family over time. And...I see Discord smiling at me before he closes his eyes forever. I hear his final words. Words that I never thought about until now.
 
"I love you."
 
Love.
 
He loved me.
 
I never knew. Not once did I suspect that Discord loved me. Was that why he followed me to the bitter end? That he risked everything for me? That he sacrificed himself to protect me? How long did these feelings last? What would I have done if I never met Martin? Love him back? I don't know. All I know is that Discord was one of the most influential figures in my life, and I lost him. I lost him because I was too weak to run away and save myself.
 
And I cannot forgive myself for it.
 
It was Discord who stood by me to the very end. Someone who was once a former enemy of mine and even betrayed me one time. Yet he was the most faithful, loyal, and bravest friend I ever had. It's funny. I thought the girls and I would be friends forever. Yet it was Discord in the end who was more of a true friend than any of them. Did I love him the same way he loved me? If things were different...if I hadn't met Martin...maybe? Maybe I could have loved him in such a way, but that didn't mean Idon't love him in another way. Discord wasn't just my best friend. He was my family. He was the only old friend I had when I left Equestria, and he risked everything for me and my desire to see humanity saved from Equestria. I'm sure he had his reasons as well, but I know that, deep in my heart, it was all for me. And he will always be in my heart, for I will never forget my best friend in the world. My Discord. My Dizzy.
 
"I've lost everything. Including the most honorable friend, I knew in my life," I whisper and turn my back to sit back in my bed. However, Rarity then says something that makes me freeze in place.
 
"What? Discord? Surely you can't be serious?" Rarity says, and I freeze up. No. She would not. I know she didn't like him. Hated him even. But she will not dishonor what I had lost when I tearfully sympathized with her own loss. "Quite frankly, Fluttershy, I think the entire universe is better with him gone. Some of us were even convinced that he had tricked you into joining with humanity. If that's true then-"
 
"Rarity," I say her name with ice-cold steel in my tone as I slowly turn around and give her such a glare that it makes her freeze up. "If you say anything… anything… negative about Discord…"
 
The two of us just stare at each other. While doing so, I think about all the times we have shared together. All the fun times at the spa. The sleepovers. The pet playdates. The adventures and lessons we learned. Every hug, kiss on the cheek and laugh we have shared. The tears we've cried together both joyful and sad. How I trusted her with my secrets and she with me. Next to Rainbow Dash, she was the closest to a sister I had.
 
"Well, now you know how my suffering feels-"
 
And just like that, it's all gone.
 
"FUCK YOU!"
 
I jump on Rarity, and she screams in terror before I slug my hoof into her face. Blow after blow, I am shattering those happy memories. I black her eyes, break her nose, and destroy her teeth. Her once beautiful face soon becomes a mug shot as I go to work on it without end. Screaming and cursing at her for her betrayal.
 
When she mourned and sobbed about her husband and child, I had sympathized, cried, and accepted her grief.
 
Yet when it came to my suffering? Nothing. No sympathy. No tears. Not even a "sorry."
 
It takes three guards to pull her off me and a spell from another to put me to sleep.
 
***
 
By the time I wake up, I can feel somepony else in the room. Turning my head, I see a purple alicorn who is glaring at me with disgust. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I had pretty much maimed Rarity half to death, and if there was one good thing I could say about the mare in front of me, she cares about her friends.
 
Though, I guess that doesn't apply to me anymore. I get up and sigh before greeting her. "What do you want, Twilight?"