Pony Grumps
Welcome to Equestria, bitch/ Bath time
"Congratulations, Jon, you saved all of Hyrule from a giant pig. I think I have a cookie somewhere for you.”, said Egoraptor.
"Thanks. That's all for this episode of Game Grumps. Tune in next week, which will be next month for you guys by the way, for the new game!”, said Jontron as both of them started to laugh. After a few moments they finally stopped laughing as Ego reached up and turned the microphone off.
"Now what should we do?", said Egoraptor.
"Play another fucking game.”, said Jon.
"Oh yeah. Which one should we play?"
"I don't know.”, said Jon as he took out a random pen. "Here, throw this at the wall. Whichever game it lands on, we'll play."
"Aren't we just ripping off AVGN?"
"Just throw it."
"Fine." Ego grabbed the pen and threw it against the book case full of games. Jon got up and pulled out the case.
"This is a DVD; you got something to say to me?"
"It's not my fault, it's the pen. It got the wrong coordinates."
"Don't blame the pen, I like the pen."
"What do you have a crush on the pen?"
"Maybe I'm gay for pen."
"How do you know it's a boy pen?"
"Because it's a fucking pen, that's why." Just then, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it."
Jon opened the door to find a mail woman with a package. She had an all gray shirt, brown cargo shorts, a brown mail bag, blond hair, and she was crossed eyed. "Can I help you?”, said Jon, with a rock by his feet, but the mail woman said nothing. She just handed him a big package and walked off. "That was weird." He walked back in to find Ego playing with his Kindle.
"Who was it?"
"Apparently it was a package."
"From who?"
"I don't know, it's unmarked." Jon opened the package. Inside under all the week old, balled up paper, was a case. The case contained a disk that said 'Game Grumps: Adventures in Equestria.'
"We got a game."
"What's it called?", said Ego as Jon handed him the disk, he stared at it for less than a second before making up his mind. “Cool, let's play it." Ego got up and opened his 360s disk tray.
"Stick it in good.” said Jon as Ego got back on the couch.
The game booted up and an 8-bit screen came on with the Game Grumps logo on it. They both pressed the start button on their controller, then, all of a sudden, the screen turned into a back shot of them on the couch. They both turned around to see nothing, and then turned back several times.
"What the hell? Did we enter Spaceballs or something?” , said Ego. Jon put his hand out and started to wave it and saw his TV self waving it in sync.
"This is creeping me out, turn it off." Jon said as Ego got up and tried to turn the 360 off, but nothing happened.
"I can't, it won't let me."
"Try unplugging it." Jon suggested Ego grabbed the cord and pulled it out of the wall. Once it was unplugged, the screen went black, but a green dot remained on the screen. Ego jumped on the couch and both friends hugged each other in terror.
"I'm scared Jon."
"You have soft hair."
"I know." The TV began forming text for them to read. It said
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Game Grumps. I am going to have to put you in Equestria.” , said the text as a giant portal formed in the TV and lighting flowed out and grabbed them.
"The TV's going to rape us." said Ego
"Good bye cruel world." ,said Jon. Both of them got dragged into the TV, both screamed in terror at the sight of binary coding around them, as they fell deep into the unknown.
________________________________________________________________________________
Celestia was using her magic to spread bath salts into her large bath tub. She dipped her hoof into the water to test the temperature. She let out a satisfied moan when she found that the water was the perfect temperature. It wasn't too hot or too cold, it was warm and just right. She stepped into the bath and let out a sigh. She let her wings spread out as she submerged her whole body, except her mane and head, under the water.
"Ah, all my paperwork is done, my sister is taking over business for me, and I have three whole hours to myself." Celestia let out another sigh of relaxation and repeated "Three whole hours..." She closed her eyes and started dozing off.
As she dozed off, a small flame started to form above her head.
"Ah, that must be a new friendship report. How I love hearing from my subjects while I relax." The flame started flickering in place, but instead of a scroll, it formed into two bodies. Jon and Ego appeared from the area the fire had been, and fell into the water. Celestia had a look of surprise as the two of them came up from the warm water coughing hard.
"You okay, Jon?” said Ego
"I have water up my nose.”, said Jon as he blew water out of his nose "It's seriously way up there."
"Who, and what are you two?” asked Princess Celestia. Both of them slowly turned towards her.
"Who, and what are WE? Who, and WHAT are you, walking marshmallow with a head dildo and wings?"
"Oh, of course. My name Is Princess Celestia of Equestria. Now If I may repeat myself, who, and what are you?"
"My name is Egoraptor and this is Jontron. we're humans-.”, said Ego
"I don't know about you.”, said Jon
"Shut your goddamn face. I have no idea how we got here but I'm in a giant bath with a giant horse and a giant boner so I don't need you interrupting me."
"You mean a tiny boner.”, said Jon as Ego face palmed himself
"See, it's statements like that that makes people think we're gay."
"You two are certainly some interesting characters.”, said Celestia
"You're a character.”, said Ego
"How dare you, you know she’s from a cartoon.”, said Jon
"You don't know that."
"You are talking to a fucking..... What are you?"
"I'm an alicorn."
"A fucking alicorn, how often can you say you see one of those things?"
"I think they have one in Mexico somewhere, or maybe China, they think of everything."
"*Ahem* getting back on topic, I don't know how you two got in my bath, but it appears the bath time fun has been doubled."
"Jon, I'm having second thoughts about this place."
"Sister, can I borrow your conditioner... Oh, I didn't know you had company. They are very strange looking.”, said Luna. Ego looked at her with wide eyes that looked like someone saw the most beautiful thing in the world and his face formed a big smile.
"And now I'm having third thoughts."
"Maybe we should talk in a place that's more private.", said Celestia as she went out of the bath and used her magic to wrap a towel around her waist and mane. Both of the Grumps, annoyingly followed her out of the bath in soaking wet cloths.
As they walked to Celestia's bedroom, they all talked about each other’s worlds. They told her how they were internet personalities, and then they had to tell her what the internet was, though, they stayed away from talking about Rule 34. After a few minutes, they finally arrived at Celestia's chamber.
"Well, not that this wasn't fun, but could you magic us back to earth already?” asked Ego
"I'm afraid that since I don't know were your earth is I can't "magic" you anywhere. I can, however, make your stay here a pleasant one until me and my sister can get you two home. First we need to get you some disguises. Hold still." Celestia then blasted them both with a magic beam. After the smoke cleared, the moderately popular internet sensations, had been turned into ponies. Jontron was a unicorn with yellow fur, a black mane and tail, his two gears logo for a cutie mark, surprisingly enough, all of his clothes but his beige hat were gone. Egoraptor was a Pegasus with blue fur, a black mane and tail, and his animated face for a cutie mark.
"Great, I always wanted to be a horse.”, said Jon
"You’re a pony, not a horse."
"Oh, yeah, that makes me feel better. Not to question "God" but we don't have a place to live.”, said Jon
"Unless we are sharing with you two, in which case I call your sisters bed."
"That won't be necessary good sirs. My faithful student will be more than happy to take you two in until I can find a way to get you two home. Her name is Twilight sparkle and she lives in Ponyville library, It is easy to find since it's made from a tree, I will allow my guards to escort you there."
Both Jon and Ego trotted off towards the carrier, as the two flew over the alien country side, they noticed it was almost sunset outside.
"This place looks so beautiful.”, said Jon.
"Oh yeah, the hills or the city?”, said Ego.
"Neither. I don't have a vagina."
"Right answer.”, said Ego as he gave Jon a bro hoof. "Look, there’s the town."
"Ten bucks say this Twilight is a book worm.”, said Jon
"I say she’s a Twilight fan.”, said Ego
"You’re on." The carrier landed in the middle of Ponyville, as soon as they were off, the guards nodded and flew off, leaving the pair on their own. "So, where’s this place again?"
"All she said was it was a library built into a tree.”, said Ego
“I just realized that's a fire hazard waiting to happen.”, said Jon when all of a sudden they both were stopped by another pony. They both looked forward to see a certain pink colored pony.
"Hello?" Pinkie just stared at them silently. "Hello....... Um, green light." All of a sudden, Pinkie jumped in the air gasping, and ran off. "Now I'm legitimately scared of this place.” The Grumps trotted around for a while, until finally, they found the library.
"Well, should we just go in?"
"No dude, don't be rude. Just knock on the door, and wait for them to come." As Jon said that, the door opened and Jon slipped and fell in.
"Hello, you two must be the Princess' friends."
"Yeah, I'm Egoraptor, this pile on the floor is Jontron."
"Hi lady, your carpet is lumpy."
"That's because you’re lying on Spike." Jon got up and saw a pancaked Spike on the ground. He then used his magic to snap him back to normal.
"How did you know how to do that?" Jon mulled over the question for a few seconds and finally answered.
"I don't know."
"Where are we going to sleep? Because I'm getting tired."
"Well, I have an extra bed one of you can have, and one of you can sleep on the couch."
"I CALL THE COUCH.", quickly said Jon.
"I'll take the bed."
"Before you two go to bed, did you two happen come across a pink pony on the way here?"
"Why yes, and I just want you to know that if she has a problem we will be there for her."
"No, it's not that. Just be ready for a party tomorrow."
"Okay."
"Well it's getting late, let's go to bed.” said Jon as he jumped on the couch and pulled the blanket over himself.
"Something tells me our stay here won't end well.” said Ego as he trotted off to bed and quickly, dozed off.