As was always the case – by law and by tradition – the Crystal Empire was enjoying a bright and sunny day. In fact, it wasn’t just the sun that was shining brightly, but the crystal ponies themselves were too as they went about their routines.
And why not? Besides the excellent weather, the whole city had been decorated in brilliant reds, pinks, and whites for the holiday; the biggest one of the year for the highly empathic ponies who nearly lived on happiness and good cheer.
Hearts and Hooves Day!
Colorful bunting draped across the streets, creating a bit of lovely shade for the many ponies out and about this morning. There was laughter and singing in the streets, especially near the visiting changeling and kirin embassies celebrating the holiday. Restaurants were packed full with guests from everywhere, and it seemed like chocolate treats, cider, and other assorted candy flowed through the city like a metaphorical river wherever visiting yaks and dragons congregated.
It was, indeed, a beautiful day in the Crystal Empire, and no more so than near the shining Crystal Heart itself, and its attending Crystal Palace. The plaza beneath the palace caught the light in just such a perfect way as to make the whole city glow with the sun.
High above the city, near the middle-levels of the ancient, gargantuan structure where the Princess and Prince dwelled, there stood a small balcony that normally gave the royal family an unparalleled view of their domain. But today, it had a new purpose.
The doors opened at the approach of one of the Crystal Guards’ two Captains. A tall, lean unicorn strode through the transparent balcony doors with military crispness, her black armored boots clacking upon the impervious crystal floor. Her rose-colored mane held stiffly in the breeze as she turned her head about, taking in… a rather odd sight.
The balcony was usually empty, save for a few tall bushes tended to by Shining Armor himself on his days off, which lined the back wall of the space. But today, somepony had taken the time to not only tie up pink and red bunting along the outer-railing (though, somewhat foalishly), but also had set up a small table, accompanied by a set of chairs. Two chairs, to be precise. Dragged up here from the downstairs dining area, if the mare didn’t miss her guess.
And set between those chairs appeared to be a wicker picnic basket overflowing with food. And next to that basket rested a pair of glasses and a corked bottle filled with a bubbling, sparkling red drink.
The unlit candelabra more or less completed the image of a picturesque, romantic dinner for two. The only thing missing from that image was a violin quartet playing chamber music in the corner.
Tempest Shadow, the Co-Captain of the Crystal Guard, knew a trap when she saw one. The bunting was mostly made up of towels and bed sheets stolen from the palace hamper earlier in the day. The food had been taken from the kitchens around that same time, though according to the palace’s griffon Head chef, Garcon, whoever took the food had to come back around for seconds since she’d eaten some of it on the way up to the balcony.
Oh, and the bushes were struggling to hide their snorting and giggling. That was a pretty major clue, Tempest thought.
Flurry Heart was also very, very bad at hiding her tremendously oversized wings whenever she hid.
But whether this was a trap or not, Tempest knew that the best way to defeat an ambush was often to charge right in. She would know, having led more than a few ambushes in her time. Without skipping a beat, she marched up to the table, and carefully lifted the basket’s lid with one hoof.
It looked to be a fine spread, overall. Peanut butter and daffodil sandwiches were a nice treat, and the carrots and sour cream flavored potato chips were nicely paired.
Only the fizzy, bubbling drink gave her pause. Tempest would have to talk with Princess Flurry Heart later about that…
“Oh, Captain?” a familiar voice called out from the palace halls, “What are you doing out here?”
Tempest turned around, making sure not to look directly at the pair of tiny eyes staring at her from the bushes, and smiled professionally as her Co-Captain of the Crystal Guard trotted out to meet her on the balcony.
“Captain Sentry,” she said, and gave a little salute to the golden-coated stallion, “Happy Hearts and Hooves Day.”
Flash Sentry snapped his own salute back, and opened his mouth to speak… only hesitating for a split second as one ear twitched in the general direction of the giggling bushes.
“Happy H and H to you too,” said Flash, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “But, again. Why are you out here? And what’s all this about?”
Tempest smiled back, before she closed her eyes and began to focus. Her horn had been capped years before with a dark red crystal prosthetic, but even with practice it took her a moment to remember how to tap into her magic in a way that didn’t involve vaporizing the ponies around her.
A small slip of paper… no. A card drifted shakily out of one of her dark suit’s pockets. It was almost the same shade of dark purple as Tempest’s coat, with a somewhat crudely drawn heart in the center, the same color as her mane.
Flash frowned, and reached one wing into a side compartment of his own armor. He pulled out a rather similar card, though this one was yellow with a blue heart.
“You got an invitation too?” he asked, hiding his smirk expertly.
“Seems like it,” Tempest said, shrugging, “I guess somepony wanted us to be up here today. For some reason.”
Flash hmmm’d, and smiled at the picnic basket. “Wonder what that reason could be?”
The bushes held their breath. Both adult ponies shared a quick, knowing smile at that, and began inching towards the table itself.
“I suppose it’d be a waste to not eat this food, right Captain?” Flash said as he removed his helmet and set it down beside the table.
Tempest shrugged, notably not looking directly at him. “Makes sense, Captain. And it’s not like this means we’re…”
His ears perked up.
“Means we’re what, Captain?” he asked, lips pursing as the bushes gasped. His face was doing a valiant attempt at not smiling.
Tempest appeared to blush. This was hard to prove, however, on account of her naturally dark-purple coloring. And the fact that it was Tempest Shadow who may have been doing the blushing in this instance.
Instead of answering, she began to quickly cut up and parcel out the food with such alacrity that Flash briefly wondered if she had some Pie ancestry in her.
Tempest noticed Flash’s noticing, and – maybe? – blushed again.
“Had to live in a trench outside of Baabylon for six months,” she explained, hooves neatly stacking sandwiches and chips, and then sliding them over to her dinner-mate, “Couldn’t let food hit the ground, you know? Learned a lot about being quick with chow time there.”
“I can imagine,” Flash said, smiling. He hefted up two sandwiches at once with his wings, and to Tempest and the bush’s utter shock, not only fit both in his mouth at the same time, but actually swallowed them instantly.
As Flash smacked his lips appreciatively, he finally caught the wide-eyed stare he was getting from across the table. “What?”
Tempest continued to stare, for a moment. Then, without warning, a most unladylike snort blew past her defenses, and the otherwise stern and commanding mare nearly unseated herself with laughter.
“What?” Flash asked again, an indignant eyebrow raising up high.
“You just vanished two sandwiches!” she chortled, and wiped at her eye with one hoof, “Like… did you just unhinge your jaw!? How?”
Hearing her question, Flash chuckled himself, and reached for some chips.
“Well, you learn to eat fast in the Guard,” he laughed, and scarfed one of the salty potato slices, “Captain… uh, Prince Armor liked to hit us with surprise drills. So, if you couldn’t finish a meal in two seconds flat, you didn’t eat.”
The two ponies shared a hearty chuckle, laughing long and hard at their shared experiences. They only wound down the laughter in deference to the bushes, which seemed to be impatiently tapping its hooves for some reason.
Flash, now thirsty after a mouthful of crispy, salty chips, reached a wing out for the bottle of fizz.
His eyes remained fixated on the bottle… before glancing up to meet Tempest’s own stare.
The hesitation, like before, went completely unnoticed by the bush. Flash took up the glasses in one wing while the other poured the drink. It bubbled and boiled in the glass, churning in a way that Flash couldn’t help but slightly wince at.
Tempest, with a moment of concentration, managed to raise her glass to Flash’s. They clinked together satisfyingly, and both ponies prepared to drink.
The bush held its breath.
Tempest Shadow lifted the drink to her face… and took an experimental, if dainty, sniff of the concoction.
Then, her face went red. Her eyes narrowed, and a snarl started building, low in her throat.
Flash noticed instantly. He leaned forward, drink un-drunk, and asked with worry, “Uh, Tempest? What…?”
Tempest leapt up on top of the table, her horn crackling with unfocused magical fury. She let loose a sweeping kick that sent the food and utensils flying, to Flash’s dismay, before she hurled herself at the gold-armored stallion.
She cried out as they rolled across the floor, magical sparks flying in every direction as Tempest assailed the other Captain. He gave as good as he got, lashing out with his wings as she struck and pummeled him with hoofstrikes.
“You son of a…!”
“Tempest! What in the world…!?”
Finally coming to a stop, Tempest pinned Flash by his wings, and charged her horn with further pulsating energy. Flash held his tongue, eyes full of fear as he watched her incendiary appendage spark and crackle.
Tempest gritted her teeth, her horn sizzling with rage.
“A Love Poison!?” she snarled, eyes glaring daggers…
Flash suddenly disliked that metaphor, he realized.
“You contemptible…” Tempest tripped over her words, the anger and hurt in her voice almost choking her. “Did you really think you could get away with doing something so heinous to me!?”
Flash merely choked out something unintelligible. On his back, with hooves and elbows stabbing into his chest and neck, there really wasn’t much else to say.
“Now, before I drag your carcass before the Princess, and tell her just what you tried to do,” Tempest said, lightning flaring about her again, “I think I’ll have a little fun with you first.”
But, as the boiling magic in her horn started to build, a terrified voice cut through the thick cloud of fear, anger, and violence that was currently marring the holiday.
“Stop!” a tiny, scared voice called out, “Stop! Don’t hurt him!”
Both ponies turned their heads as the bushes exploded. A pale alicorn filly darted out from her hiding place, knocking the plants aside in her blind panic. Princess Flurry Heart charged towards them, and came to a skidding halt at Flash’s side.
“He didn’t do it! Stop! Please!” she cried, and panted, and cried some more. The filly threw her oversized wings out, and tried to physically block Tempest from assaulting her Co-Captain further.
Tempest stared down at the Princess, a cold, unamused look on her face.
“Flurry?” she asked, in an odd tone of voice, “Why… whatever are you doing here?”
Flash rolled his eyes, but since he was still somewhat choking, calling his co-worker out on her terrible acting wasn’t in the cards yet.
“Why are you attacking him?” Flurry asked, glistening tears in her eyes, “I… I thought this was a romantic gesture!”
Tempest regarded the filly, for a moment. Then, she shrugged, looked around the balcony, and said, “It was, actually. This is my favorite spot in the palace. Great view of the major approaches, and I don’t have to deal with mushy ponies while I’m watching for trouble.”
“Exactly!” Flurry Heart cried, “It was perfect!”
“Ex…cept…” Flash managed to choke out before another armored hoof pressed down on his muzzle. One eye conveyed how much he appreciated being a demonstration.
Tempest smirked at him, then looked back to the Princess. “Except for the Love Poison. That stuff’s nasty. And illegal.”
Flurry opened her mouth… and then closed it again. The young pony tugged at her purple and blue mane with one hoof, and looked down at the hardly-struggling Flash.
“It is?” she asked, in a whisper.
“It is,” Tempest nodded, solemnly, “Which means, regardless of how romantic this may, or may not have been… I gotta beat Flash up, arrest him, and be a witness at his trial.”
Flurry blanched, somehow becoming paler than her white coat would normally allow.
“… Trial?” She coughed, and cleared her throat. “Um, does there hafta be a trial?”
“Oh yes,” Tempest nodded, sagely, “Can’t have him turned to stone without a trial.”
“Stone!?”
Flash nodded as best as he could, given the circumstances.
“Yup,” said Tempest, “Interfering with free will. Plus, trafficking in illegal substances.”
Flurry Heart froze, a moment. Her hooves continued to nervously tap-tap under her, but her eyes – already a size too big for her head, according to some – were wide open, staring into nothing.
“But…” she stammered, “… but what if it was meant to be?”
Tempest frowned. Glared, more like.
“Then he should have let it happen in its own time, and not tried to force things along.”
One ear twitched, causing Tempest’s anger to fade from her face. A curious look overcame her, one Flurry had also feared to see. The same look Tempest had whenever Flurry said she didn’t know where the cookies had gone.
“Flurry? Why are you so curious about this?”
Flurry nervously danced in place again, and looked around her for an easy answer. Somehow, she completely missed the way Flash was smiling underneath Tempest’s bootheel.
She hemmed, and hawed, and said exactly nothing that was in any way real words.
Then, the Princess reached a forehoof out. Bringing it back to her chest, she drew in a great breath, and then swept her hoof out as she exhaled. In and out. In and out.
Tempest glanced back down to Flash, and met his half-smile of recognition with one of her own. Before the Princess could notice, however, each steeled themselves, and made sure their faces gave away nothing.
Flurry finally had her breathing under control. And, as she exhaled one more time, she visibly deflated in more ways than one.
“You… you can’t arrest Flash Sentry,” she said, glumly, eyes downcast.
“Oh? And why is that?” Tempest asked, impressing Flash with how she did not snort with laughter despite the way her lips were fighting for a smile.
“Because…” Flurry bit her lip, and pressed on. “Because it was me! I got the Love Poison! I was the one who set you up together!”
“Really?” Tempest pressed one hoof – the one not pressing Flash’s face into the ground – to her chest in mock distress. “But, why would you do all this?”
Flurry’s face reddened. She closed her eyes tight, and her cheeks puffed out. It looked like she was holding back a breaking dam.
Tempest tilted her head to the side, and said, coaxingly, “Flurry…”
Which was when the pressure finally burst.
“Because you’re perfect for each other!!!” Flurry Heart screamed.
The declaration bounced and echoed off the crystalline walls of the palace, bounding away over the city and the far north itself. Ponies and other visiting creatures all over the Crystal Empire glanced up, curious at the explosive sound, before returning to their own festivities.
Tempest froze in place as the little Princess’s words continued to fade into the distance. She rapidly blinked several times, and then turned to look back down at Flash.
Flash was looking back up at her, with a similar look of confusion.
“Pferfelct?” he asked, in a slightly distorted lisp. This seemed to finally snap Tempest out of her stupor, and she quickly helped Flash back to his hooves.
They shared a slightly red-faced smile as he returned to full standing.
“And I didn’t know it was Love Poison!” Flurry cried again, this time with genuine distress.
“Where did you even find out about that stuff?” Flash asked.
Flurry sighed, “It was in Aunt Twilight’s Friendship Book. Miss Apple Bloom wrote an entry about how she and her friends tried to get her brother, Big Macintosh, to date somepony they thought he liked.”
Tempest snorted, and shook her head. “They put the recipe in there?”
“N-no,” Flurry admitted, kicking at a single, unmarred carrot rolling across the floor, “I had to look that up in the library…”
“Did you even finish Miss Bloom’s story?” Flash added with a frown.
“… No?” Flurry said, her head down and her eyes up. “I figured it worked, so…”
“I remember that story,” Flash said, and looked back to Tempest with a most unimpressed roll of his eyes, “The Cutie Mark Crusaders got Love Poison by mistake – which it looks like Flurry here did as well, which is a little distressing by itself – and almost doomed their friends and family. Again, I might add.”
Tempest smirked. “You actually read the book?”
“You didn’t?”
She shrugged, and looked away. “I skimmed.”
“My point being,” Flash said, returning his attention to the tiny, guilty alicorn before him, “If you’d read to the end, Apple Bloom realized what she did was wrong, and tried to make amends. You can’t control what other ponies think.”
“But this is different!” Flurry stamped her hoof in protest.
When both Flash and Tempest gave her the same frown in response, Flurry’s horn lit up with her golden magic. In a flash, sheets of paper materialized in the air about her, each one revealing lists and lists and lists of calculations, charts, diagrams, and questionnaires. A few romance magazine-clippings joined them, as did an abacus, a sextant, and even a board covered in red yarn and pins connecting two – adorably crude – hoofpaintings of Tempest and Flash.
“I did the research!” Flurry said, flying up to grab at her thorough documentation. She jabbed a hoof at Tempest, while drawing one of the graphs closer. “You have an authoritative personality matrix! You take charge and know what you want, but that means you can only relax around a stallion who’s laid back, but not a pushover.
“And you!” She pointed at Flash and swept another chart to the fore. “You’re easy-going and empathic! You can cover Tempest’s lack of personal-skills, and she can reinforce your positive qualities, like being steady and honest. It’s perfect!”
Looking closely at the chart, Flash grumbled quietly, “You definitely take after your Dad’s side, kid…”
Tempest elbowed him in the side, and focused on Flurry while Flash winced in pain.
Her tone was softer than it was before, when she asked, “Flurry, why does this matter so much to you?”
The paperwork vanished away, leaving the Princess to slowly land again. “Because!” She threw her forelegs out as she shouted. “When I see ponies and creatures together, it’s like…”
She shook herself all over, and then pointed back to her flank. Her very recent Cutie Mark, a crystal heart over a constellation of stars, stood out prominently.
“It’s this thing’s fault!” she snarled, “I see two creatures who belong together, and I gotta make it happen! It’s like I can see the connections between them, the love that will exist. Why can’t I help them to find each other, if that’s what my mark is telling me?”
Tempest and Flash shared another look. Each raised a wary brow to the other, before they converged once more on the filly.
“Flurry, you can’t make two ponies love each other,” Tempest said first, and reached out a hoof to place on the young Princess’s shoulder, “Even if you think there’s a connection there, how can you know what that connection is?”
“Tempest and I are very close friends, Flurry,” Flash added with a nod, “But we’d probably make terrible special someponies to each other!”
“No!” Flurry nearly took off again as her wings flapped with agitation. “No! Don’t say that! I know what I…!”
“Regardless of what we are to each other…!” Tempest cut off the diminutive royal with her sharp tone, and just enough pressure on the filly’s shoulder to guide her back to the ground. “You can’t be the one to decide that. Are you going to go around making ponies love each other? All of them?”
Flurry, at first, looked ready to fight. She squared her shoulders, and puffed her cheeks out again… only to once more deflate. Her eyes dropped to the floor, and she sighed wearily.
“Not… not all…”
Flash took a step forward, and leaned down to Flurry’s eye-level. “So, what makes it right for you to do that for some ponies?”
The Princess was quiet.
“Flurry?” Tempest asked, goading.
“Nothing,” Flurry sighed. She looked back up at her guardians with glistening eyes, and a quivering lip. “I… I’m sorry. I should have asked before starting my machinations…”
“Flurry!”
“Alright!” she groused and grumbled, “I shouldn’t have done it at all! I should… should have trusted Love to work itself out.”
Both adult ponies nodded in tandem, seemingly satisfied with that.
Flurry, however, was not quite done. She returned to her pouting, and asked quietly, “Um… does my mom have to know about…?”
“Yes, she does,” Tempest said, glowering once more at the littlest Royal.
“But…” Flash said, nudging his coworker with his shoulder, and shooting Flurry a little smile, “Perhaps we don’t need to tell her until tomorrow, assuming you head back to your room, and have it cleaned top to bottom before either of us see whatever state you left it in?”
Flurry’s eyes widened.
“W-when you say clean…?”
Tempest clacked one hoof against the floor, and gave a mighty snarl that any drill sergeant would be proud of.
“Flurry Heart!” she cried, “Get your toothbrush and report to quarters for Cleaning Inspection! ON THE DOUBLE!!!”
With a gasp, the Princess leapt to the air, and tore off at such speed that the Wonderbolts would have spun their heads in disbelief. Her voice trailed off into the palace depths, shouting, “Sorry!” over, and over again as she went.
Both Guard Captains stood as still as statues, staring sternly off in Flurry’s direction of flight. They remained so resolute for approximately ten seconds longer than either realistically expected for Flurry to be within hearing range before they collapsed to the balcony floor.
And then they howled with laughter. Tempest’s guffawing drove tears to her eyes, and Flash almost rolled himself into the railing as he gasped for breath.
The two laughed, and laughed, even as a pair of maids walked past the stricken ponies and rolled their eyes at the foalish display.
Finally, Tempest managed to get her breathing back under control, and moved to stand.
“That filly!” she gasped, “She’s going to be the death of me…”
Flash chuckled breathlessly, and picked himself off the floor. “Nah,” he said, waving Tempest down with one wing, “She’s crazy about you.”
“Crazy, yes,” Tempest shook her head, “But she can’t be encouraged to mess with ponies like that. Once you give a Sparkle a bad idea, they’ll run with it…”
“True, true…”
Flash carefully began picking up the little fragments of table still littering the balcony with his wings, though his eyes were peeled for any more of those sandwiches that might have survived the conflagration. Tempest joined him, though with her prosthetic horn it took her an extra second or more to catch up with him.
The two thus cleaned the balcony up in companionable silence, not willing to make the maids clean up after them in this instance.
“So…” Flash asked as they stepped back inside, wings and aura full, looking for a convenient dustbin, “We don’t want to encourage her.”
“Yup,” Tempest said, a soft smile on her lips.
Flash nodded, slowly.
“We gotta tell her sometime,” he said, “Maybe not about her mom setting us up already…”
“Oh, of course!” Tempest nodded profusely in agreement. “But at this rate, I think we’ll wait until the wedding, if that’s okay with you?”
“I don’t think that’s a bad idea, actually,” Flash laughed, and tossed his refuse in a bin down the next hallway, “Flower fillies don’t need to know the date ahead of time, right?”
“Nah…” Tempest chuckled.
The two hit the t-intersection of palace halls just before Flurry’s room. They stopped, and glanced around. No maids, no guards… and no rambunctious fillies to be seen.
“Sorry about your face,” Tempest said, one hoof gingerly raised to appraise her handiwork.
“It’s no great loss,” Flash chuckled, “Though, I wouldn’t mind if we fought a little like that sometime. Really got the blood pumping, you know?
“Anyway,” he said, tilting his head down one of the hallways, “Shining wants me to help cover the faire tonight, so I need to get going. You good watching Flurry a while?”
Tempest nodded, and said, “I’ll run her through drills. She’ll regret ever messing with us by the time I’m done.”
Flash smiled again. And then, he leaned in, and gave Tempest a quick peck on the lips.
She smiled, and hummed at the contact.
“Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Flash,” she said.
“Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Fizzy,” he said back.
And with that, the two parted ways… if only for just a while.