Note: This happens three weeks after the last chapter.
It's not made after any episodes but I did inspire it from the documentary I have watched about the Holocaust.
I apologize if this chapter feels a bit weird, it is more or less an outlet to the rollercoaster of emotions and lack of time to think I have been dealing with these past weeks.
This is getting bad, like really bad. Luna thought she could handle them, though she could help this other worlder, but oh how big of a mistake that was.
One of the Tantabus slams into her, toppling her over and when she gets up, Nightmare Moon stands menacing before her. Its partner, the one she had tried to stop and inflict further harm on the dreamer returns back to that dream realm, back to torment that poor soul. Luna wants to help but it seems... she too has become a victim to the nightmare creatures...
The Tantabus takes shape as a human, one without a solid form, but it will from the owner of this small dream realm. It walks over to the table, pokes it and one the table appears a person, alive but cold, empty, lack of any emotion. Slowly it moves its head over to the dreamer, watching the clarity horror in those steel-blue eyes.
Back in that room, the stench of blood and the distant of burned flesh fills his nostrils. He tries his best to ignore it, but it's like his nose can never get used to the smell.
He's not one thought much of what is right and wrong, all that matters is the search of science. But... there is no logic in what is going on here, the soldiers throw away countless of people, all perfect test subjects, especially those who are weak. His favorite experiments are to make something weak strong. But his superiors do not like his views on wanting to keep them as future test subjects. He constantly gets told that they deserve it, that filth like them are worth nothing.
Told him not to goof around and instead focus on finding a cure to rid the world of the sickness that pledges a lot of their people.
Yes, it is a good reason. More so when he discovered he too has been inflicted by it. Came as a huge shock but he has been very good at hiding it, not to show he bore this very same sickness his subjects have.
He has done a lot of experiments in this place. At first, it was doing his job to create a cure for the sickness but over time he got bored in doing the same thing over and over again. Out of his boredom, he began to do other tests, a lot held fruit and several of them would lead to the medi-gun.
But this superior didn’t care about his ability to make mere humans into gods by replacing parts of their organs with animal and use a machine that could make one recover in a matter of minutes. His superior wanted the cure.
“Do your job and find the cure, I don’t care how you do it.” The man told him and had the nerve to destroy all of his former work.
It enraged him, but he is smart enough not to start a fight with his superior who can and will throw him in with the "filth" if he ever stepped over the line. No wish in ending up in the furnace. So he went to work on the obnoxious cure but only grew frustrated as he found no evidence of what caused this sickness. Did that mean he was stuck with it for the rest of his life as well? It did bother him, more so when his body wanted those urges fulfilled but never would be able.
His superior refused to call quits for it, so he continued in the experiments, ignoring the growing sense of how wrong this was starting to feel. He didn’t care about the meat bags, but every experiment made him feel worse as there was nothing accomplished other than another mangled mess to the pile. Till finally, he reached the breaking point, when he found “the cure”.
His superior walks over to his table and takes the note that holds the cure. The man smiles; a twisted unnatural one. “Well done Mr. Ludwig. Now we simply have to administer it.” The superior puts a hand on his shoulder, tighten enough for it to really hurt.“Let’s start with you, shall we?”
***********************
Medic eyes open wide in pure horror from the intense nightmare, now he really wishes it was the same he dealt with before his coma, at least there he only dealt with obscure people and dread, but now… the core to the nightmares has been exposed and haunts his dreams, his very mind. He hasn’t been able to sleep ever since he realized this truth, more than ever he has been afraid to close his eyes, forced to stare at the papers holding the cure to homosexuality, and more than anything; he wants to erase it from his mind. Sleep has always been hard, but ever since he came back to Equestria, it has been straight out impossible without those pills. Sadly he ran out and the doctor thought it would be best he didn’t get more as he needed a natural sleep. Medic can almost laugh, he hasn’t gotten a normal sleep in years.
Movements on his left and still held by that repeated nightmare makes Medic freak out and in a flash of light, he’s out in the freezing snow, barely able to see through the cracking headache after have done such an advanced spell in his still weaken state.
He does not really notice, his mind is still trapped in the stronger than ever nightmare, fully thinking he’s in camp, trying to find that old broken heater so the room can be heated up. Why does this place have to always be so darn cold? He hates it, he can’t feel his fingers and it makes work straight out impossible.
Feeling something on his head and he jumps startled, looking up a white dove head meets his gaze.
‘coo?’ Archimedes title his head in the confusion of why its owner is out in the snow in the middle of the night. His owner does not really seem to be aware of him and keeps wandering aimlessly around, making those weird sounds but this times they are not comforting to the dove. ‘coo, coo’ Archimedes calls but not the wanted response as he gets brushes off. This is not like his owner, the dove realizes, something is wrong and he knows who to get.
Back at the Golden Oak Library, Heavy woke at Josef jerked around as he always does when having a nightmare, he was about to put a hoof over him in attempt to calm the doctor but a flash of light and the doctor was gone. Heavy hadn’t been enough awake to comprehend that for a minute or so. When he did he pretty much panicked. Josef is not supposed to do magic other than light levitation and healing magic!
Disappearing in a flash of light does not look like easy magic and who knows what such a spell did. Heavy quickly gets on his hooves and searches for the doctor, carefully in case that light flash spell was in some way a shrinking spell. Never know with the doctor really. When he found no sign of Josef in the room, Heavy did consider wake Twilight and tell her what happened, before he could though, a light tab on the only window catches his attention. At the window is Archimedes, Heavy walks over and lets the dove inside. “Doctor is not here.” He tells the bird, figures Archimedes wanted its owner’s attention as it usually would when paying them a visit. He did blink when the dove didn’t fly around in search of Medic but instead lands on his head, pulling his hair, flies off to then land again, all the time cooing like crazy. This is new behavior, Heavy observes but if he didn’t know better, he says Archimedes wants him to follow. Heavy figures this has something to do with Josef, Archimedes adores its owner and wouldn’t be upset unless it has something to do with the doctor. So he decides to follow the bird. He carefully and quietly (he is not made for being quiet) sneaks out from the library, he did notice Twilight stare at him but didn’t make a move to stop him, she must’ve figured he could handle this on his own. To be honest he rather wants to do this alone.
Medic has been acting weird around him since he woke from the coma and his nightmares have gotten worse. Got so bad that he needed medicine that caused a deep sleep without dreams. The pony doctor suggested Medic should try doing without them for a time as those pills weren’t good for one in long periods of time but these short days have been a living nightmare for Josef. He hasn’t gotten any sleep for every time he tries, he wakes with that horrified look in his eyes and barely registers his surroundings.
Heavy knows this has to stop, Josef can’t go on like this but he can’t get those pills unless he will also deal with addictiveness that will ruin his recovery.
He follows Archimedes through the snowy and decorated streets of Ponyville, seeing no sign of the doctor but he trusts the dove to know where its beloved doctor is. Archimedes brings him to the edge of Ponyville, near the train station, where he finds a lonely track of hoofprints, leading away from town. Must be Josef from how unsure the maker of these tracks are and Archimedes flies that way too, so he follows both.
He finds Medic, walking unsure away from town. Heavy speeds up. “Doctor!” He calls, he realizes that was a bad move. Josef's head snaps at his direction, not only does he not have his glasses, so he won’t be able to see him properly but it looks like he is still affected by his nightmare. So when he heard his call, Medic freaks out, turn heel and staggers off.
Heavy follows, he needs to get Medic away from the cold and inside the warm, his body wasn’t meant to handle cold to begin with so Heavy dreads what his weaken state will do in this temperature.
He rather easily catches up to the doctor, thankfully, Medic is not yet sure on his legs and Heavy is faster in his horse form. He gets over to the doctor and stops him by wrapping a hoof over his chest. “Josef, do not be afraid.” He tells the still trapped in a waking nightmare doctor.
Medic blinks several times, slowly he stops struggling. “Misha?” He asks weakly.
Heavy nods and lifts Medic up, away from the cold snow. “Only bad dream.” Glad it is now over.
The freezing cold fades away from his body thanks to Misha’s warm body. Medic, exhausted from several sleepless nights almost falls asleep in the warm and comforting embrace of Misha. But right there, his eyes snap wide open when he hears his own voice whisper inside his mind ‘time for the procedure’ and he freaks out. “nein, nein!” He cries and struggles away from Misha, much to the Russian’s confusions.
“Doctor, it is okay. You are safe now.”
No, he is not, none of them are now. ‘they’ know the cure. A terrible cure. One he is tasked to perform on anyone having the disease. Medic eyes meet Misha’s and a deep terror strikes him from thinking they are both sick. “Geh weg von mir!” He screams and a blast of magic pushes Heavy away. He collapses onto the snow, his body nearly broke down from using magic. Eyeing Misha, Medic is hit by a deep regret that he struck him but the now waking nightmare keeps speaking to him, commanding him to do what needs to be done. He… he can’t do it, not against Misha.
‘He’s sick, you both are and only you can cure it’ the voice in him continues.
'I won’t do it!' He screams back in his mind but it won’t leave him alone, the shadows of the people he used to make this discovery won’t stop until he made their sacrifice worthwhile.
“Nein!” He cries and in another flash of light, he is gone.
Heavy stares at the spot where Medic disappeared in that flashing light spell of his, the worry he felt before has been replaced with a deep fear he has never in his life felt before, not even when he helplessly watched the guards kill his father. Something is terribly wrong with Josef, something he dreams about every night and now it has gotten so bad that it haunts him in his waking hours. Worse is, it seems the problem involves around him, hence to why Josef stuck him and flinches away from his touch. Heavy gets up on his hooves, wincing in pain from where he got hit by the magic, that definitely will leave a mark. It does not matter, what matters is Josef. He can’t leave him out in this snow for if he does… he will freeze to death but Heavy knows he can’t get near him as whatever is haunting him will make Medic fight him.
He needs help and the only one only having a somewhat understanding and not going to make a scene about this, well that will be Josef’s partner.
Heavy gallops back to the library, he finds Twilight up and making tea, probably to them both from having been out in the snow for so long. Her before calm expression fades, replaced with a worried frown when she sees him return alone and have a magical scorch mark on his neck.
“I need help.” He tells her before she can ask.
Twilight nods seriously, quickly dress herself up for the cold, grabs a large scarf which she levitates around his neck (he does not need winter clothing thanks to his winter coat, but Heavy figures it was meant for Josef) and they both run outside to find Medic.
Heavy explains about Josef’s behavior and the light spell the doctor used before he disappeared.
Twilight feels deeply sorry for her partner of what Heavy told her. “Poor Medic, forced to relive his worst nightmare every time he tries to sleep…” She eyes Heavy and also feels bad for the big stallion, well aware how much he cares for Medic. “Don’t worry, we will find him and figure out a way to end his nightmares. Even if we have to ask the princesses for help.” Heavy gives her a somewhat confused look at those words but he did get what she meant. “What was spell?” Oh right, he does not know what it was, Twilight must admit she is worried Medic made such a spell in his current state. “It was a teleportation spell. But he shouldn’t do such a spell in his state, it’s not a beginner—“ She notices the look in Heavy’s eyes that now is not the time for a lecture, she clears her throat embarrassed and instead explains. “In his confused state, Medic should teleport to places he thinks he knows.” And asks the larger pony. “Any idea what that might be? I only think of the hospital and my home.”
That does also brushes his mind but from how freaked out Josef was, he does not think to do a silly experiment is on his mind at the moment. He does not understand much German, only enough to know Medic wanted to get away from something, or someone. Where would he be going if trying to get away?
He…. He does not know… Josef is not the type to flee like this and when he does flee, he usually seeks cover behind either him or some of the other team members, letting them shoot whatever is chasing him down.
“I… I do not know where he go…” Heavy admit and more than ever, he fears for his doctor’s life.
Heavy wasn’t the only one dealing with this, for Medic does not know either where he is going. His only protection is now what he is trying to get away from and that is really messing up his already fragile mind from the constant assault of nightmares and the lack of sleep. He has no idea where he ended up when the light disappeared, all he knows it is cold and he can only see the snow.
He keeps walking, but each step gets harder, his body tremble in exhausting, till finally the cold and the pain from have used several adept spells got too much and he collapses into the snow.
He closes his eyes and for once, he did not hear the voice commanding him to do his job, he can’t even hear the wind anymore, maybe now he can get some proper sleep.
“Do you want to sleep?” A familiar voice asks him, he can only nod. “You know if you do, you will have to come with me.” The voice remarks. This made him open his eyes and before him stands the magpie- his death. She titles her head slightly, then without a word, she flies back into the small snowstorm. He weakly lifts his head after where she went, well aware of what she kept from happening. Is he really that far gone?
He barely reacts when something else comes out from the snow. A ponyfied vision of his supervisor. “Pathetic.” The pony snorts down to him, he does feel quite pathetic too. “So this is how it is going to be? You found the cure to the biggest sickness and instead of curing yourself, you rather want to die with it.”
Medic does not answer, instead, he lets his head drop back onto the snow.
“It does not matter. Thanks to you, we now have the cure.” The supervisor remarks rather uncaring of his demise, and why should he care? He is just another cog in the machine. “Of course it will be harder without you, but it’s not like there are any loss if a few of the sick expire during the procedure.”
“It’s not a cure…” He argues weakly back, he wants to get up but he’s so cold… so darn cold… and so tired. “All you do… is remove a person’s ability to ever feel such emotions... They will never be able to fall in love.”
And in the worst case, that person might never be able to feel any emotion again. He might be a man of logic, but even he would like to have the ability to feel joy and frustrating when he's trying a new experiment.
The supervisor laughs “They- you do not know what love is. If you did, then you would’ve known love only happens between a man and a woman.”
Those words more than offended him, enraged him enough to move. He gets on his hooves. “Dummkopf…! You know nothing.” He sneers, tries to shout further words, attack, anything but he’s too weak and collapses back onto the snow. His supervisor laughs at him and steps onto his head. “Oh? And you happen to know what love is? Didn’t you create the cure to fix yourself in the first place? Weren’t you planning on doing it so you never will have to be ashamed every time you feel distracted by another man, annoyed that attachment drives you away from your precious work?”
Yes, he was planning on doing that, planning on using Mann Co. resources to perfect the cure but that was before he met Mikhail, before he realized how wonderful those feelings could be. It was before he realized that those idiots he was surrounded with were actually worth his time. He will never admit it to them, but the other mercs, yes even those silly ponies. They are comrades, his friends.
The supervisor steps harder onto him.. “Why should you be the exception of all the others?”
Medic’s eyes wide, of the question, one he hated the answer to. If he had a cure to fix a sickness, why shouldn’t anyone get it, including himself?
Why should he have it if any other like him need it removed?
Because he loves someone? Well, other lesbian and gay people love too, they care for their partner like everybody else.
…. Why does the world consider this a sickness?
He suddenly asks himself and is quite startled about it as it goes against everything his supervisor, the Fuhrer told him- told everyone. Everyone keeps saying that gay people are sick, they have to in order to find the same gender attractive. It was something that should be cured but… were they ever sick?
What if it’s normal?
It sounds absurd— well not really, he has accepted crazier things, so consider gayness as a normal thing, that’s rather easy for his brain.
“It’s not a sickness.” He whispers and can’t help but laugh as this idea, this solution festers into his mind. “It’s not a sickness, it’s normal!” He laughs, feeling both silly and so relieved that the answer to this very thing is really, well quite easy. It’s a simple as look at a picture from a different angle.
His laughter does get put to a sudden halt when the supervisor steps onto his throat, so hard he cannot breathe.
The pony smirks and the eyes begin to turn white along with the colors draining away. “You really are pathetic.” The Shadow Pony grabs him around the neck and throws him over to a rock, which he hit hard enough to pretty much knock him out. Still conscious but can do nothing but watch the Shadow Pony stalks towards him. ”Suffered so many years for something so stupid.”
Hates to say it, but the Shadow Pony got a point. So many sleepless nights for worrying about his own sexuality, over something he cannot change and instead should just be happy over being who he is.
Poor Misha had to deal with all of this crap coming from him, he’s lucky from have accepted it long ago.
The Shadow Pony is only a few steps away from him and no matter how much he struggles, Medic cannot get up, he’s too cold and has long ago used up all his strength.
Then, just as all hope seems lost. A beam of magic hits the Shadow Pony, making it jerk away from him. Medic follows its gaze and is so relieved to see Twilight and Heavy come charging to his rescue.
Twilight fires another beam at the Shadow Pony, not really wondering why it gets affected by normal magic as she hasn't bothered to get her Element.
It snarls at her and runs at them. Heavy leaps in between the Shadow Pony and Twilight, he steers and hits the shadow with ones of his hooves, that was enough for the Shadow Pony and it flees through one of its black gems. Heavy stomps on the cluster, destroying them.
“Medic!” Twilight cries and runs over to her fallen partner, he is terribly cold but at least awake. Heavy trots over, and she levitates the scarf off him and around Medic. “We were so worried— need get you back— you are freezing cold— and I don’t care what the doctor says, you need proper sleep!”
She rants on, barely noticing Heavy walks over to Medic, wants to hug him but what happened last time makes him hesitate. Not for his own well being but nervous that he will cause another freakout from the already weaken doctor.
Medic feels really bad for all the trouble he put on Misha. “I’m… better now.” He muses and tries to get up, but his legs give under him. Before he falls flat into the snow again, Heavy’s large and thickly coated hoof catches him. He looks up, his steel-blue meets Misha’s moss green eyes and the Russian must’ve seen a change as he smiles. “Good.” Heavy says and gently stroke his head against his, Medic returns it and for the first time since he realized that he fancied Mikhail, he no longer feels afraid to have these feelings. He does not care what others think, as he has found his own truth and is set on sticking to it. So with a new boldness, he kisses Misha with all the love he feels for him.
Heavy suddenly jerks away, much to his surprise. It's hard without his glasses but Medic thinks he sees confusion on Misha's face. “You not afraid?” Misha points out although it sounds more like a question.
Medic laughs and shakes his head. “Not anymore.” He is sick and tired to be afraid of such an important part of himself, now he wants to enjoy it and anyone who does not like it can take it up with his bonesaw.
Okay that is quite a surprise as Josef has always been afraid about their relationship, yes he has let his guard down a few times but that has more been in the heat of a moment, but now, to fully see it gone. To know that Josef someway, while he walked in the snow and encountered that Shadow Pony; found the answer he was looking for and willing to take their relationship into the next step. That’s… That’s quite an overwhelming joy. He pulls Josef up and hugs him, maybe a bit too tight but he’s just so happy, “Best news, so happy for you!” He cheers for his doctor.
Josef laughs hugs him back. “Took me long enough.“ and after a tender kiss, he snuggles up against his mane. “I’m surprised you had the patience.”
Heavy does not care, he finds the wait so worth it. “Wait forever if have to.”
Twilight Sparkle watches the two from the sideline, unable to stop smiling that two share such a passionate moment from having been afraid to show each other how much they care for one another. She has never been with somepony special but does recognize the love her partner and Heavy feel toward one another from her own parents and have watched how much Heavy and Medic struggled to hide their true feelings, now finally found the courage to show the world. That is really touching in her eyes.
So she hates to break their moment but not only is she starting to get cold but Medic has been out here for too long. “We better get back.”
The two snaps their attention to her, Heavy gives her a sheepish smile while Medic has a gleam in his eyes that he does not really give a darn who sees this anymore. So ignoring her partner as it’s clear he’s not embarrassed at all, Twilight gives Heavy ‘no need to be embarrassed about it’ look before she walks over to them and teleports them back to the library.
Going inside, Twilight is not at all surprised to find Spike heavily asleep, not at all aware of the drama that went on. Perhaps that's for the best as well.
Getting the warm air onto his skin feels like thousands of small knives, Medic winches in pain but he is glad to go through it as it will remove the numbness he is currently feeling. Won’t stop him seeking warmth from Misha though, man has always been warm and that does not change even if he’s a horse. The only difference he has a thick pelt. Medic finds a good spot near Heavy’s chest where the pelt is a bit longer than what he got on his back and can’t help but remark. “You’re like a ponyfied bear.”
Heavy chuckles at this, nodding to his cutie mark that is a bear paw print. “Maybe part bear.” He can’t help but laugh at this small joke going around Heavy that he is like a bear.
Twilight brings them something warm to drink and they all do a bit of chatting as they get warm again, well Medic and Twilight did, Heavy is so used to the cold that is really does not bother him.
"Are you sure you're not a little cold?" Twilight asks the big horse, turning to her partner when he says with a grin.
“He could sleep outside and not feel the difference.” Medic jokes and Heavy replies after a short laugh. “Pony winter nothing. Windigo winter like back home.” Which made Twilight almost choke on her tea in laughter that he got that one right.
A half hour later, only Heavy and Twilight are talking, Medic has fallen asleep, using Heavy’s shoulder as his pillow. Twilight eyes the sleeping white alicorn and can’t help but remark. “He looks so peaceful.”
Heavy follow her gaze and is quite taken off guard by the sight, this is the first time he has seen the doctor sleep peacefully, he sure hopes this will be the case many nights forward. “Yes, it is good.” He replies and does feel bad he has to wake Medic in order to bring him downstairs. “Sad I need wake him.”
Twilight gets up and begins to turn off the lights. “No need.” She says and stops at the stairs to her room. “You have been through enough for tonight.”
Heavy smiles. “Thank you.” She returns it and walks upstairs to her bed, she calls a softly. “Goodnight” and turns off the last light. Heavy puts his head down and that content smile does not even fade as he falls asleep, for really; everything he dreamed about will be right there when he wakes.