Star-Kissed: Go Get Laid, Twilight Sparkle!

by bronyheat


Unforeseen Consequences

Rarity sang a quiet melody to herself as she continued her work on the stylish toga wrapped around the ponnequin in front of her. The mild, late-winter sun provided just enough light for the intelligent blue eyes as they danced between every small detail while the mare's horn wove intricate magic into the threads of the fabric. 

At first, the thought of working on something as simple as a toga had dismayed the fashionable unicorn, but togas had become a huge hit with the nobles as of late, as many ancient customs and their accompanying attire had come back in vogue over the last few weeks. 

*ding!*

Rarity’s attention was pulled from her work as the front entrance chimed, signaling a new customer. Clearing her throat Rarity started to sing-song her usual greeting. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique where every garment is chic-”

“We know.” Came the simultaneous voices of Applejack and Rainbow Dash; they were both smiling as they entered the shop.

Rainbow Dash was energetic and excitable as usual; practically gliding across the room as she approached. What really drew Rarity’s attention however, was Applejack. The normally reserved earth pony was beaming and seemed to be ready to spill something really juicy. Rarity’s ears perked up.

“Ah, girls!” Rarity gave a generous smile to the pair. “I assume you two have come here to continue our discussion from last night?”

“Well, Rares…” Applejack started with no lack of excitement on her features. “I think we’ve both got a pretty good plan here on who to hook Twilight up wi-”

Applejack didn’t get a chance to finish, the unicorn was now scrunched up into her orange muzzle, intense blue eyes locked onto worried green ones.

“Tell me!”

“We’ll I’ma try-”

“Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!” Rarity did cute little hoof-kicks against Applejack’s chest as she begged.

The earth pony pushed the space-violating mare back with her strong hooves. “Consarnit Rares, let me finish!”

Rarity fidgeted in-place, nearly biting her tongue to keep from squealing.

“Anyways, so aye think we got a good stallion for Twi. He’s a solid feller with a good reputation, a supportive family-”

“Yeah, anyway, he’s hot, single, and in her area.” Rainbow interrupted, a huge grin on her face now. “More importantly, he’s a wonderbolt!”

Rarity was practically swooning at this point. “Oh my, a handsome gentlecolt who’s also famous? Who is this wonderful stallion, fit for our Princess?” 

Rainbow didn’t even give Applejack a chance to answer this time. “It’s Thunderlane, he’s one of the newer recruits to the Wonderbolts, just like me! Rainbow Dash puffed out her chest proudly at that last statement. 

Applejack nodded along. “Yep I think they’d make a good pair. So we got Fluttershy to coax Twilight out of the castle for a late lunch at some fancy-like Prench restaurant and we’ll invite-”

The impatient pegasus interrupted once more. “So anyway, I got the team to grab him and he’s tied up in the back of a nearby wagon; thinks we’re pranking him.” Rainbow Dash let out a small laugh.

Applejack and Rarity suddenly turned towards the amused pegasus.

“WHAT?!” they both cried out simultaneously.


Thunderland needed to scratch his nose. 

Despite trying to twist himself every which way like some sort of Las Pegasus contortionist, the flexible Wonderbolt simply couldn’t find the space or purchase to get his bound body closer to his muzzle in the small trunk. Letting out a grunt of frustration, he quickly lifted his head, only to have it smack roughly against the top of the trunk, knocking him out cold.

*thunk*

The loud noise drew the attention of a patrolling policemare. Eyeing the nearby wagon, Officer Fluffles approached the back trunk where the noise had originated. Placing a hoof on the latch, she began to open it…

Just as a fuzzy blue hoof slammed it back into place.

“Uh hey… officer, how's it hanging?” A not at all nervous looking Rainbow Dash asked.

The earth pony’s eyes narrowed as she observed the suspiciously sweaty pegasus a moment before answering. “Heard a noise from the trunk ma'am. You wouldn’t happen to be transporting any illegal animals or aggressive Everfree flora, would you?”

“Psht what? Naaaa….” the prismatic mare waved a hoof dismissively. She was now propped up with her back against the trunk keeping it closed tight.

“The only thing illegal here is how awesome I am.” Rainbow flashed one of her signature smiles, hoping to disarm the cute policemare with her charm.

Officer Fluffles gave a long, drawn-out sigh. “Alright ma'am, step away from the trunk please.” she drew a magic-infused stun-stick from her belt to emphasize the command.

Rainbow Dash put up her front hooves defensively. “Whoa! Hey, no need to get pushy I’ll just slowly-”

“APPLEJACK!” Rainbow Dash suddenly shouted.