Her head was swimming with agony. Her vision blurred in and out as she tried to focus. Even though the pain and nausea was on the border of unbearable, it at least kept her from having . . .thoughts.
The door opened and slammed shut. The sound sent a stab of pain through her temples. She drew a shuddering breath as feet slapped the wood floor and a small blue backpack landed on the table near her elbow.
Mommy! Mommy! The teacher brought a bunny to class today!
She closed her eyes, her lashes trembled as a wave of fear and angry crawled through her. Tonight was going to be bad.
It was white and had long long ears! His name is Floppy!
Shut up. Just shut up. The voice was grating on her nerves, ruining her concentration. The voice was high, annoying, and pulled at her as a pup would yank a bitch’s sore teat.
I got to hold him and the teacher took a picture! Wanna see?
Her fists clenched in her hair and pulled hard. The pain along her scalped helped, but not much.
Mommy, you’re not looking!
There was a tug at her sleeve. Her hand swung. Smack.
She hit her daughter so hard the child fell backward onto the floor. What hurt wasn’t seeing the reddening mark on the child’s face or the tearing eyes that looked at her with confusion and pain. What hurt was the worm of satisfaction she felt seeing them.
Go to your room.
She ignored the wails that rose and fell in crescendos as she desperately called her life line.
Mother Rose, I need you. I hit her.
A voice, though feminine, was the voice of God for her. What happened? Is she alright? Did you take your medication?
Her voice cracked. Good. At least she can feel some shame. I did, but it didn’t help. Can you come over?
She already knew the answer before the question was asked. Yes, I will be there right away. Noa, pray, please?
On the floor, near her feet was a holo of a little girl holding an oversize rabbit. Joy and happiness with the innocent delight of another living thing did little to curtail the hatred festering in her heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A hand touched her shoulder. Laotaner raised her head from the book she had been poring over and saw her daughter’s face above hers.
“I thought I told you to go to your room.” Her hand swung and caught Mikala Briggs fully across the face.
The slap stung her palm and no doubt it caused Briggs pain from the way she gasped her face. The younger woman cursed and then looked at her as if she had committed a great betrayal. “What the hell was that for?”
Laotaner blinked several times as her eyes refocused. Briggs wasn’t a little girl bragging about a damn rabbit. She was an annoying little bitch that hoped to have a close mother-daughter relationship with her. “Don’t startle me.”
“I was waking you up to get you to go to bed. You fell asleep at the table.” Briggs had a loosely wrapped sheet around her body. She had likely changed back to a human in her sleep due to her misfiring nanonites.
“Then let me sleep where I lay. Damn.” Laotaner hand raked her hair from her face.
“What did you say?” Briggs asked still rubbing her offended cheek.
“What?”
“What did you just say earlier? Someone about my room?”
“I don’t know, I say whatever when I get pissed.” Laotaner snapped the book shut with a hard thump. “You going to keep me up with babble or do I have to chop you in the throat to get you to shut up.”
“Fine, I’ll just go back to bed and leave you to your plotting and scheming.”
It took Laotaner nearly a minute for her to realize that Jelly was joking. “Yeah, yeah, goodnight and sweet dreams and all that bullshit.”
Laotaner now realized what it was about Briggs that she didn’t like. She looked too much like the first one she had. Too bad she didn’t die like the first one did.
The nauseating guilt flooded over her in a tide of pus and filth and she fled to the bathroom to vomit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twilight rose early that morning, much as she did the day before. But this time, anxiety was eating away at her stomach. She let Spike continue his rest, not seeing the need in bringing her assistant into this now. She felt that she had to go alone to Zecora.
Her hooves left a trail of disturbed wet grass behind her as she trotted to the cottage. She would usually take the path to Fluttershy’s cottage, but that would take too long. The sooner they completed this egg ritual the better. The forest held the echo of morning with the distant cry of animals wakening or going to sleep as the warmth of day treaded in dappling light through the canopy.
She was relieved to see light flickering inside the hut. Zecora was waiting for her and had no forgotten or dismissed Twilight’s concerns. Could it be that the zebra herself sense impending harm as well?
She knocked on the door and it was promptly opened. “Ah, Twilight Sparkle, it is good that you have come and I must say that you look glum.”
“Sorry, I’m just nervous about this egg ritual. Will it tell me of what’s going to happen?” Twilight came inside the hut and the welcoming smell of baked bread and spice greeted her nose.
Zecora shut the door. “Yes and no. The ritual cannot say what will be, but what is.”
“I don’t understand.” Twilight tilted her head curiously.
“The pouch itself is a talisman with beads carved from special spiritual stones. It draws in good and bad energies from around you and the egg absorbs them as marrow in bones.” Zecora explained as she led Twilight to a wooden table where a carved bowl sat in the middle.
“And the hair?”
“Allow me to show you.” Zecora lifted a small wooden figurine in the shape of a pony. “Give me the pouch and I’ll give you a clue.”
Twilight magically drew the pouch over her head and levitated it to Zecora. The zebra shaman carefully drew opened the pouch and slipped the lock of hair out. With amazing dexterity despite not having a horn or magic, Zecora tied the lock around the figure and set it in the middle of the bowl. “The figure represents you and the egg yolk is happening all around. Now come close and let’s see what the egg has found.”
Zecora tapped the egg three times on the edge of the bowl while Twilight held her breath. Instead of yellow yolk with clear egg white, what spew from the egg was red. Twilight sucked air through her nose in silent shock as the red settled around the figure. The zebra looked intently at the substance and murmured, “The danger is all around you.”
“I can see that,” Twilight’s voice sounded weak even to her.
The red pus, it can only be described as such to their eyes, almost covered the bottom of the bowl. It was thick as curdled milk, but the figurine remained standing in the center despite the heavy flow.
“Ah, but you have your friends,” Zecora murmured as her wise eyes saw what Twilight’s could not at first.
It took a moment and Twilight had to move her head to see at a different angle. Gleaming around the figure was a rainbow hue with shades of pink, yellow, and blues mingled.
“And it appears that you have an ally of which it all may depend.” Zecora waved a hoof along a clear fluid that streaked long the edge of the rainbow colors.
“An ally? Is it someone I know?” Twilight looked closely at the steak as it would give her answers.
“It is someone you met and soon you will see if they will be a boon.” Zecora touched a hoof to her chin in contemplation. “Twilight Sparkle, the danger around you is great. Your meeting with the Princess must not wait.”
“I will be seeing her tomorrow night at the Winter Ball. I could send her a letter, but she may not respond since she’ll be so busy.” Twilight felt numb, a protective defense against the fear that would later grip her heart.
“Twilight, the danger is here. It has not struck yet, but it is very near. And there is very much to fear.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apple Bloom had been allowed to sleep in due to the tummy ache she earned from her frivolous eating yesterday. Thanks to Granny Smith’s home remedy (three eggs whites boiled and salted with cinnamon), her stomach had settled to a dull slightly uncomfortable ache, but she still milked it to keep from having to work.
Not that she was lazy, she was always eager to help out on the farm. It’s just that last night the dreams came back. Long halls of grey metal, creatures that standing on two legs, and a face that was not a pony face, but it was full of kindness.
She had the pictures she had drawn while missing spread on her bed. She had her blankets pushed to the end where she could easily pull them back to cover up the pictures should she hear any hooves clops in the hallway. She had just patched things up with her sister and she didn’t want to threaten the mended rift between them with her suspicions concerning Jelly.
Her eyes concentrated on the drawing that she had been staring at for the last half hour. It was of her standing in the apple orchard with Applejack, but bipedal creature wearing blue with a red slash along the breast. The creature’s head she had drawn with a brown mane and the skin had been colored with a peach color. The smile was left in broad white.
That smile.
Apple Bloom’s eyes shifted to the talented drawing of her asleep in a white dress. The dress was too long for her, as if it was meant for an adult pony.
Her eyes switched the smiling figure.
Back to the dress.
Her mind hurt as a memory spread open as a flower blooming. The pain was intense making her eyes water, but the memory came regardless.
She had gone through a closet out of curiosity. Her caretaker was at a desk working and Apple Bloom had become bored. She tossed aside weird clothing: white turbans with big holes for large ears and a belt with soft felt cups. Then she found the dress and had to try it on.
It was long and she had to tread carefully to keep from tripping. It would have to be hemmed up, but it would certainly be prettier than any dress Diamond Tiara’s daddy could buy her.
Her caretaker wasn’t paying attention. She was too busy working. She had a brown mane and looked worried a lot, but she smiled too sometimes.
She trotted to the creature, wanting to show her the dress. She brushed a hoof along her leg. The creature lowered a hand giving her a rub on the head between her ears and murmured something to her. She didn’t understand what she was saying, but she recognized the tone. It was the same tone her sister used when Apple Bloom was getting in the way of important work.
Apple Bloom turned away in a pout. She didn’t even look at her.
Apple Bloom grasped her head with both hooves. The pain was slowly ebbing away now since the memory was over, but something new was happening. It didn’t cause her pain, but it was slowly working it around in her brain.
The creature’s mumblings was forming, changing, molding into a language she could understood.
No, no, not now. I have work to do.
Now that she could understand the words, the voice carried recognition for her. It was a voice that she had heard many times during Winter Welcome.
What should we do next, girls?
Here, you finish this for me. I can’t eat too much of this or I won’t fit in my dress tonight.
Scootaloo, Apple Bloom knock it off. It’s my back you’re standing on, not a trampoline.
The smile was the same as the voice.
Jelly was the caregiver and the caregiver was Jelly.
Apple Bloom sat in stunned silence as the revelation rocked her mind. She didn’t hear the hoof clops in the hall and the knock at the door made her gasp. “Apple Bloom, ya feelin’ put together?”
“Yes, Granny Smith!” Apple Bloom hastily collected the sheets and shoved them under her pillow.
“Then c’mon down and he’p clean the house,” the elder pony said through the door.
“Uh, muh head’s hurtin’! Ah . . .uh . . . Ah need t’ take a walk t’ clear muh head.” She had to find Jelly and talk to her.
“If’n that’s the case, lemme fix ya my mother’s ole remedy of turnip peel stir fried with milk! That’ll clear ya head up as clear as a bell.”
“Ugh.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laotaner stared at herself in the mirror and wondered what the hell was wrong with her. Her nose was straight with just the slightest crook where the skills of a surgeon straightened it after a bad break. Her lips were thin always clenched in a straight line while her eyes harsh, but empty reflecting the emptiness she always felt. Save for the rage and hatred that was as common to her as the freckles on her body.
Memories cropped up now. In the past she had been able to banish them as quickly as a snap of a whip, but now they stayed and stayed. Her time at the missionary where she tried. She tried to be good, tried to be normal, tried to be what a normal woman should be. Normal women didn’t have dark thoughts such as hers.
God, she tried for that little girl. She tried so hard. Would she have made it in the end? Would she have finally become normal?
She would never know. She was here now and she had a duty to uphold. A job to complete and finished. She could concentrate on that when the darkness in her brain became too much.
“Mother, I . . . could we talk?” Ugh, the hateful voice from behind her, soft and kind, trying to draw her in.
“What?”
“I mean, we haven’t really had a chance to really talk. The last time, it didn’t end so well, and I want to make up for it.”
Laotaner turned on the water tap and let the cold fluid fill a cupped hand. “Go ahead and talk.”
“I know about dad’s side of the family. What about your side? Do I have any aunts or uncles from your side?” The voice was hopeful, even expectant.
“No.” She rubbed the water on her face, letting the cold droplets roll along her cheeks.
“What about grandparents?”
“No.” She blotted her face with a towel.
“Any brothers or sisters?”
A long moment of silence that carried thickly on the air as a foul odor and Laotaner looked at herself in the mirror and saw the face behind her that carried another’s nose and lips. She touched the reflection of Mikala Briggs and whispered. “One. A little girl. She’s dead.”
She watched the reflection’s face extend in shock. Mouth opened and eyes wide. “What happened?”
“A vehicle hit her. She died.”
“How old was she?”
“Six years old.”
“What was her name?”
“What does it matter?” Laotaner dropped the towel on the floor. It was wrinkle where she had twisted it between her hands. “She’s gone and any impact would have on our lives is miniscule.”
“We could go and maybe put flowers on her grave together. She was . . .wow, I had a sister . . . please, I want to know her name.”
“Her name was Sera. She liked rabbits.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mikala didn’t like what she was seeing in the mirror. Her mother was staring into the glass, but not at anything that she could see. What was wrong? Something was wrong. This wasn’t the Laotaner she had come to know.
And she had a sister? She had wondered if there had been other children before her and now that she was presented the news from the woman herself was just shocking. “I’d like to know more than that. I mean . . .I wish I could have met her or talked with her. It’s . . . amazing, if she had lived I would have an older sister.”
“Enough. I don’t want to talk about her.” Laotaner turned away from the mirror, her eyes glossy with the pupils small. “I have work to do.”
“Please, don’t go. If you don’t want to talk about Sera anymore, then I want to show you something. Something I wanted to bring to the Café, but I kept it here. Please, it’ll only take a minute.” Mikala was grabbing her bag shoving a hand inside.
“I don’t care.” Laotaner took a case from the corner of the sink and flipped it opened. Inside were syringes with nanonites.
“It’s the last phone call dad made to my grandfather. After he died, my grandparents asked the military to give them a recording of that last call. I listen to it sometimes.” Mikala drew her datapad from the bag. “Please, it’s a short call.”
Laotaner said nothing. She injected herself and collected her back of books draping it over her neck. “No time.”
Mikala wanted to insist, but a mental instinct told her to let it go. “Alright.”
“How long ago did you change?”
“It happened in my sleep. I’ve been like this for the last three hours.”
“Then stay here for today. I’ll update you with plans for tomorrow night.”
“I need to change back. I have to go Rarity’s for a fitting.”
“If you don’t change back, I’ll tell them you’re sick.” Laotaner’s bodty shifted and formed till Victory Jam was standing in the human woman’s place.
“Sure.” Mikala sat in the chair propping her cheek on a hand balanced on her elbow. “I’ll stay here.”
“I know you will because that’s what I told you to do.” The usual heat was back in her tone and that was sadly comforting. She trotted to the door way.
“Wait. One more question,” Mikala called.
“What is it?”
“Is it because of her death that you are . . .like you are.” The question came out tedious as one would move across thin ice.
“Like what?”
“If I have to describe you, we’d be here all day.”
Victory stood by the door and looked back at her human shaped daughter, “No. I was like this before I gave birth to her. I tried to be a nicer human being, but I was still a shit mother. She got hit by a car after all.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mikala stayed in the room long after Victory had left. She tried to go back to sleep, but couldn’t. She took a shower, brushed her teeth, toweled and brushed her hair till it was dry. She attempted to read, but her mind wouldn’t concentrate on the story. Even playing a game had no appeal.
She lay in bed in loose shorts and t-shirt Winter had brought back from the ship so she wasn’t lounging about naked. She stared at the ceiling with her hands locked behind her head. For the first time in days, she had nothing to do. When she was a unicorn, there was so much to do, helping Victory with teaching, getting ready for Winter Welcome and Winter Dance, and visiting her new friends.
She never thought she could call another species her friends before. It was rare to see aliens on her colony world, they usually kept to their own worlds and when they came to Havensguard planets, they were kept in restricted areas away from human populated areas. It had to be since the treat of terrorist activities was a present threat.
The ponies were aliens too, but she didn’t feel that alien strangeness when she was around them. They felt right and natural. In fact, she wished she was able to visit them now either trying on the dress changes for Rarity, visiting Fluttershy, or even practicing magic with Twilight. She’d even settle for being strung about by the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
“Um, Jelly . . . ya in there?” There was a soft thump at the door.
Her body snapped up, nearly making her dizzy in her haste. “Apple Bloom? Why are you here?”
“Ah come t’ see ya. Ah remembered.”
She couldn’t be more shocked if ice water splashed on her. She tried to speak several times, her lips moved, but no words came. When she swallowed, she was able to speak, “Remember what?”
“What ya really look like.” Apple Bloom’s voice carried heavily on the air.
Mikala stared down at her bare feet listening herself breath and her heart pounding. The world felt surreal around her and there was a buzzing noise in her ears. “What do I look like?”
“Tall with two legs an’ a brown mane. C’mon, Ah remember now and Ah jest got done gargling turnip peels in milk! It was gross!”
“Apple Bloom, I’m sick and I’m sure you’re just confused.” She stood up and moved to the door.
“Then how come Ah don’t hear yer hooves on the floor an’ yer voice is getting’ closer.” There was a thud as a small hoof stomped to send her point home.
Mikala paused in mid-step, toes curling on the foot she had raised to take another step. She placed her hands on the doorframe as she swallowed, “Apple Bloom, are you alone?”
“Yeah.”
“You haven’t told anyone.”
“Ah haven’t told anypony.”
“And if I let you inside, do you swear not to tell anyone at all?”
There was a pause from the other side of the door.
“I mean it, Apple Bloom. I have to hear you swear to me that you’ll tell no one about this. Not your sister, not your friends, not anyone. Okay?”
The silence followed for a moment longer than Apple Bloom gave her answer, “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
That was good enough. She opened the door.
Apple Bloom looked so much smaller while looking at her from her normal height. And she was certain that she looked so much bigger from Apple Bloom’s perspective. For a moment, she feared that the wide eyed foal would dash off in fright, but the recognition and affection flowed from her large eyes.
For the first time in nearly a week, Mikala was able to scoop her pony up into her arms and hug her tightly.