16

by AlwaysDressesInStyle

Act I: Honeybuzz

“Tag! You’re it!”

Thanks, sis. Of all the foals on the playground, you had to tag me. I rolled my eyes and rolled with it, setting my sights on tagging the nearest pony. Tootsie Roll was nearby, but it didn’t feel right to go after the chubbiest colt since everypony else always did. Thankfully, my earth pony stamina was more than enough to outlast most of the faster runners in our class, so I galloped after the notorious braggart Jazz Hooves instead. Star of the school’s plays, chorus, and dance recitals, her ego was the size of a skyscraper. She was a decent sprinter, but she was no marathoner. I started methodically running her down.

With a burst of speed she pulled away, a trick that worked most of the time, as pursuers would find easier ponies to tag, like Tootsie Roll. But, then she fluttered into the air, turned around, and galloped straight at me. “Bee!” With her head turned to look at the bee that wasn’t pursuing her, she completely forgot about the pony that was. I tried to sidestep, but it was too late. With a massive crack, we collided. As in any crash between two trains, there was a ‘winner’ and a ‘loser’ in the collision. Her petite pegasus frame was no match for my sturdy earth pony body and lay crumpled on the ground at my hooves.

“Are you okay?”

She tried to get up but instantly collapsed. She fluttered her wings, hovering, and it was then that the damage became apparent. She’d fractured one of her forelegs in the collision. “You big oaf! Look what you did! Now I won’t be able to dance in the recital this weekend!”

“What I did? You’re the one who was running without paying attention to where you were going.”

“There was a bee! You should’ve gotten out of my way!”

“So what? It’s only a bee. It’s not going to hurt you.”

“It’ll sting me!”

“Only if it’s threatened. It definitely wouldn’t have broken your leg.”

Jazz huffed and fluttered over to the teacher.

“Recess is over, everypony!” We groaned at Mrs. Roam’s decision to prematurely end playtime, then followed her back into the building as she escorted Jazz to the nurse’s office.

It was a sad fact of life: ponies hated bees, but they loved the flowers those same bees pollinated and the honey they made from nectar.

I trotted down the empty hallway after school. It had been a long day, and I felt bad for Jazz Hooves. I didn’t particularly care for her because of all her showing off, and for some reason that only made me feel worse that she’d gotten injured running into me.

“Bumblebuzz!”

I cringed. Bumblesweet was my identical twin, and most ponies couldn’t tell us apart. ‘Bumblebuzz’, ‘Honeybumble’, and ‘Honeysweet’ were all nicknames we’d acquired from confused classmates and even a few teachers. Twins or not, we were still our own unique ponies, and we wanted to be treated as such. It’ll be easier once we get cutie marks. I hope.

I turned to look, and to my surprise it was Jazz Hooves. Her leg was in a cast, and she was hovering to avoid putting weight on it. “Yes?”

“I’m not sure if it was you or your sister out on the playground earlier, but I wanted to apologize for my outburst. It isn’t your fault that I’m terrified of bees.” She prodded her good foreleg against my barrel. “Or that you’re built like a brick wall.”

I chuckled, and we walked out of school together.

Being built like a brick wall had its advantages. Nearly 90% of beekeepers were earth ponies, with good reason. First, we were more in touch with the planet than unicorns or pegasi, but most importantly, we were sturdier and a lot harder to sting. Not that we didn’t take precautions – my sister and I have had our own protective clothing and veils since we were old enough to walk. Back then, it was for protection as we played in the surrounding meadows.

Our parents let us help out a bit more each year, introducing us to the family business a little at a time.

Bumblesweet and I followed our parents as they pulled a wagon filled with bee houses to Macoun’s orchard. Some plants were capable of self-pollination, but apples weren’t among them. That meant they needed pollinators to do the work, and Macoun had more trees than the local bees could visit. That was where we came in: pollinators on demand.

It was a common misconception about beekeepers that our main source of income depended on sales of honey and beeswax. In reality, that was a smaller chunk of our bottom line than renting our bees out to local farmers for pollination, or on a smaller scale, to local gardeners hesitant to rely on the feral bee population. Another common misconception ponies had was that all bees live in hives. Mason bees, for example, were solitary, and more efficient at pollinating orchards compared to honey bees, which tended to visit a number of other plants. So we kept a few specially-designed bee houses filled with blue orchard bees on hoof for our orchard clients. Because of their solitary lifestyle, there was no honey to harvest, meaning we kept them only for pollination purposes.

It had become somewhat commonplace for beekeepers to move from area to area, keeping an eye on the pollination schedules of the various towns across Equestria. My family, however, remained adamant that doing so was detrimental to the health of the bees. Happy bees were productive bees, so we took good care of them, and they took care of us. Even if it meant short term loss of profits, the long term success of the apiary was more important.

Bumblesweet and I were tasked with keeping an eye on the colony, and to do our best to ward off any potential bee predators that might show up. Bees weren’t the top of the food chain, and several species of birds and other insects were happy to dine on bees, as were bears and skunks. The latter two usually only went after hives, partially for the honey and partially for the bees themselves. Chasing individual bees wasn’t worth the effort for animals their size. Which is good, because I don’t want to tangle with either a bear or a skunk.

My sister and I paced up and down the rows of trees, doing our best to scare off bee-eaters and wasps. We didn't have much effect; mostly it was our parents’ way of keeping us occupied.

It was only somewhat more exciting than watching paint dry. Nopony’s ever going to write my life story, that’s for sure. Still, it’s what we do and we enjoy it, even if it’ll never make us rich.

Honey. Found in kitchens throughout Equestria, it wouldn’t exist without bees. I wonder how few ponies appreciate the efforts beekeepers go through to put that honey on their tables? An average hive only produces sixty-five pounds of honey in a given year, and of course we have to leave some of it for the bees.

My parents had finally decided my sister and I were old enough to help with the harvest, and so we suited up. I’d be running the smoker, which would trigger a feeding instinct in the bees, not to mention mask their alarm pheromones. That would clear the way for Bumblesweet to remove the honeycombs from the hive and harvest the honey.

Some ponies like to hum while they work, but I like to buzz. I was buzzing out one of my favorite Coloratura songs when Bumblesweet broke my concentration. “Great job with the smoker, sis, keep it up.”

But I hadn’t turned the smoker on yet. I stopped buzzing to reply. “It’s not on.”

“But the bees stopped. Yipes! Whatever you were doing, start doing it again! I’m getting stung like crazy.”

I started buzzing again and my sister visibly relaxed. She backed away from the hive and I approached, only to see the bees frozen as if in a trance.

“Honeybuzz! That buzzing is distracting them!” I dared not stop buzzing to reply, so I nodded my head toward the hive. Bumblesweet got the hint and quickly extracted a comb from the hive. Once she was on her way back to the house I stopped buzzing and broke into a gallop to catch up to her. I counted more than a dozen stingers buried in her protective clothing and silently mourned the loss of those poor bees. But the thick cotton, mesh veil, and rubber boots all did their job, and while the stings may have caused her some discomfort, they didn’t penetrate her hide. I sighed. It would likely fall to me to extract the stingers and then thoroughly clean her suit, lest any lingering pheromones trigger bees to attack her the next time she put it on. For some reason, Bumblesweet made it a habit to disappear any time chores needed to be done.

Once safely inside the house, Bumblesweet took the honey to be strained, while I stripped out of my clothes. First I slid out of my boots, leaving them on the doormat to hose off later. With my hooves free, I hung my hat and veil up. No stingers were embedded in them, and that meant they didn’t need to be cleaned this time around. That left the tricky part, getting out of the skintight cotton suit. It was designed to fit snugly, because the last thing a beekeeper wants is a bee getting inside their clothing. I grabbed the zipper in my teeth and pulled. Once it was down far enough, I grabbed it in my hoof and pulled it the rest of the way. It’s times like these when unicorn magic would come in really handy.

I carefully wriggled out of the outfit, taking care not to tear the fabric. It was only after the suit had fallen to the ground at my hooves and I bent over to pick it up that I caught a glimpse of yellow on my flank. I forgot about my clothing entirely and focused my attention on my flank. A picture of a happy bee in flight greeted me. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, but the image stayed the same. I got my cutie mark! I started bouncing around the kitchen. “I got my cutie mark! I got my cutie mark!”

I dashed down to the basement to show my sister. She was crushing the comb to extract the honey and beeswax. “Bumble! Guess what!” I shoved my hindquarters in her face before she could respond. “I got my cutie mark!”

“Oh! Nice one, sis! Do you think I got mine too?”

“Only one way to find out!” Since she was actually working for once, I untucked the suit from her protective boots, then removed the latter, putting them aside to hose off. She’d already removed her hat and veil, so that left only her suit. I grasped the zipper in my mouth and slid it down, a process that’s way easier when somepony else does it for you. Before pulling it off Bumblesweet, I took a pair of tweezers and extracted all of the stingers, depositing them in the trash. There were fifteen in all. Fifteen less bees in the colony. Bees don’t live long lives, and we lose bees on a daily basis, but these were unnecessary deaths. Once they were disposed of, I gently slid her suit off.

Of course she had her cutie mark too. I was happy for her, but I looked from her mark back to my own and felt slightly jealous. I had a solitary bee. She had an intricate design consisting of a trio of bees buzzing around a honeypot and a honey dipper. “Congrats, sis! You got your mark too!”

She was still focused on the task at hoof and couldn’t turn to look at it. “Tell me about it.”

“I think you’re going to want to see it for yourself. You’re gonna love it!” She nodded, while I gathered up her boots and clothing. May as well start laundry. Pity we only got one comb extracted today. Unless… I dumped her suit in the washing machine and scrambled back to the kitchen and put mine back on. I had an idea.

Buzzing in tune to a different song, I once more approached the hive. The bees froze in place, watching me. I walked up to the hive and extracted another honeycomb without interference from the bees. I returned to the basement and left it with my sister, then went back for a third.

Bumblesweet and I stood in a line outside the Princess Dome, home to the Seaddle Seaducks hoofball team. For one night only, it was host to Countess Coloratura. The show had been sold out for months, but Jazz Hooves was part of the opening act. She had tickets for our whole class.

Maybe she was excited for the concert, or maybe she was just bored, but my sister was even in a good mood… for once. We chatted as we waited to be let in, talking about everything and nothing. I wish this was what all of our interactions were like.

A stallion was walking down the line, checking tickets. When he got to us, he pulled us out of line and sent us with a mare that led us to a backdoor. A bunch of fillies and colts were already in the room, and I recognized several of our classmates. I spotted Tootsie Roll and trotted over to him. “Do you know what’s going on?”

He shook his head. “I’m starting to think Jazz was lying and passed out fake tickets. They’re probably going to send us all to the dungeon.”

I giggled at that. “I don’t think they’d send foals to jail for trying to use fake tickets to get into a concert.”

A stallion walked into the room and clopped his hoof on the floor thrice. “Attention everypony. I’m Svengallop, manager to Countess Coloratura and Sunny Rays. As I’m sure you all know, the countess enjoys meeting with schoolponies before her concerts. You’ve all been chosen to meet her.”

There was cheering as we stomped our hooves in applause.

“All right, settle down. Quiet, quiet. I know you’re excited, but there are some ground rules I need to cover. First of all, no touching Countess Coloratura. Secondly, no talking to the countess unless you’re spoken to first. One picture per pony, so make it count. Any questions?”

Almost every hoof in the room went up and Svengallop groaned. “Not, it isn’t time yet. You’ll meet with her in thirty minutes and the session lasts for an hour, and not one minute more. Does that answer all your questions?” He ignored the ponies that were shaking their heads ‘no’. “Good, ‘cause we’re done here. See you in half an hour.”

Thankfully the mare who’d led us to the room stuck around to answer questions, and the stallion who’d been checking tickets came in with a cart filled with snacks and drinks. I grabbed an apple and a glass of orange juice.

It wasn’t long before Countess Coloratura entered the room, and after a collective gasp, the room fell silent. “Greetings, everypony!” She waved at all of us. “I’m Countess Coloratura. How many of you are here because you know Sunny Rays?”

A bunch of hooves went up, and she directed them to line up in the hallway outside. Once they did, she took them somewhere, leaving the rest of us to wonder just what was going on.

She came back ten minutes later. “How many of you know Jazz Hooves?”

I put my hoof in the air, as did the rest of my classmates. Tootsie Roll was eating another apple, so I flicked my tail against his flank to get his attention. He sheepishly put his hoof in the air too, apple and all.

She directed us to line up in the hall and we did so. Then Countess Coloratura came out and led us to a room down the hall where a photographer was set up. One by one we entered the room and she gave us her signature hoofsies as the photographer took our picture. I could feel my sister’s death glare on the back of my head as I got to meet the countess before she did. Coloratura stamped my cheek as the camera clicked. She patted my head, and just like that I was standing in the hallway again.

Tootsie Roll joined me a minute later, and then Bumblesweet came through a minute after him. She whispered in my ear, “Honeybuzz and Tootsie, sitting in the yard, K-I-S-S-I-…”

I pushed a hoof against her mouth. “Grow up, sis.” I rolled my eyes. All because I got to meet Countess Coloratura before her.

After all of our classmates had had their pictures taken, a mare led us to the stadium where we’d be sitting. We walked past row after row of empty seats and then I glimpsed the first group sitting in the front row. We were heading right for them. Oh my gosh, we’ve got second row seats!

Our teacher was sitting along the aisle and we filed past her. Leading the way, I walked all the way through until I reached the other end of the row of seats. Bumblesweet sat next to me, Tootsie Roll on her other side.

My face flushed red as I heard my sister say to Tootsie Roll, “Honeybuzz likes you. Wanna switch seats so you can be next to her?” He nodded, and they traded places.

I’ve never had any interest in Tootsie Roll. She’s setting him up for failure, and he’s going to blame me when his heart gets broken. We’re too young for love and crushes and all that. What do couples even do? Hold hooves, I guess? I reached a hoof toward him and he bumped it. And that was that. He didn’t speak a word about it, so I didn’t bring it up either. Maybe he already figured out that she's messing with me by messing with him? I don’t care if you play petty games with me, sis, but leave others out of it.

I couldn’t help but notice she’d upgraded her own seat in the process, sitting another seat closer to the center of the row.

The concert was as awesome as expected, and of course it was over far too soon. Fireworks were going off, but much of the audience was leaving. Our teacher motioned for all of us to follow her, and she led us back to the room we’d been waiting in earlier. Our photos were ready, and were distributed to us.

We milled about, and I learned that Sunny Rays was from Horsevallis and her drummer was from Tackoma. Their respective classmates were staying in the hotel at the top of Bay’s Needle.

Eventually the stars of the show trotted in. Coloratura quickly autographed the photos that had been taken earlier, the practiced hoof stamping of a pony that’s done this more times than she could count. Sunny was slow, clumsy, and seemed embarrassed to be there. A stack of glossy 5x7 photos had been given to her to autograph, and she did so.

I’d made sure that Bumblesweet was well ahead of me in line, and took my place at the end. By the time she got to me, I could tell she was eager for the night to be over.

“Didn’t you already come through the line?”

“That was my twin sister, Bumblesweet.”

She paused to think about that. “So you know Jazz Hooves?”

I nodded. “I broke her leg.”

She blinked at that. “Did she forget to pay you her lunch money?”

“Nothing that ominous. She was running away from a bee and smacked into me. Earth pony versus pegasus, head-on, both of us at full gallop.”

She winced. “Ouch.”

“That’s what we both said. Her especially. It worked out for the best though. We’re friends now because of it. If she hadn’t broken her leg, she’d probably be dancing right now instead of being on tour with you. Tell her you talked to ‘the brick wall she hit’ and she’ll give you all the details.”

We chuckled, and Sunny Rays stamped her hoof on a photo of herself and hoofed it to me. “Nice meeting you, ‘Brick Wall’.”

“It’s Honeybuzz, actually.”

“Not anymore.”

“Don’t make me break your leg.”

She laughed. “You’re supposed to say that before the show, not after it.” With a hug, she turned and walked out, following Coloratura to the autograph session the rest of the fans were waiting for.

I sat in the bleachers, watching the tryouts below. Part of me longed to be down there, competing with my peers. The rest of me was glad I’d dropped out the instant my sister showed an interest in field hockey. She was already the darling of the soccer, volleyball, and basketball teams, and apparently she couldn’t leave any sports for me. I could probably make the hoofball team, but I don’t really have the desire to have other ponies slam into me constantly. Our school had yet to start a buckball team, so that left only one option for me. Across from the bleachers I could see a bunch of my classmates waving pom-poms and screaming out their school pride. If my sister’s going to be the star athlete, the least I can do is cheer her on.

I walked around the field and approached the cheerleading coach. “Is it too late to tryout?”

The coach looked me over and I could see the gears turning in her head. I had a hunch I’d be at the bottom of a lot of pyramids. “Not at all. We can always use more team spirit! Show me what you can do.”

I grabbed a pair of pom-poms and started imitating the moves I’d been watching for the last half hour. It was unrehearsed and sloppy, but there’d be time to perfect the routine later… assuming I made the squad, of course. “Come on team, and kick some flank! You know you got this; it’s bits in the bank!”

“Not bad. Take a spot on the end, and we’ll get you up to speed on the routines, kiddo. Just follow along as best you can for today.”

I jumped for joy. Internally of course. Finally, a team I could join that I wouldn’t have to worry about my sister trying to upstage me on. The cheerleading squad practiced while the sports teams practiced. She couldn’t be two places simultaneously.

“Honeybuzz, why can’t you be more like your sister?” My ears flattened. I hated being compared to Bumblesweet. “Look at her report card and then look at yours.”

My sister had straight A’s of course. I had a mix of A’s and B’s, with a lone C. Not perfect, but certainly not horrible. Sitting behind my father, I could see her smug grin. When she noticed my attention on her, she stuck her tongue out at me.

“Your sister’s volunteered to help tutor you. Isn’t that right, Bumble?”

Her tongue disappeared back into her mouth before Dad’s head could turn around. She nodded. “Anything to help Honey get back on the right path, Daddy!”

I’d intentionally slacked off to lower a few of my grades. I could apply myself. That C he was complaining about would’ve been an A if I’d turned in the assignments I completed. That wasn’t the problem – the problem was my sister saw everything as a competition and she absolutely hated losing. Stepping up my own game would only make things worse, unless she could claim the credit. I shrugged. “Bumble’s just smarter than me, Dad.”

“Your sister’s on all the sports teams and still manages straight A’s. You’ve only got cheerleading and chorus.”

Chorus, one thing I could safely say my sister would never try to join. She couldn’t carry a tune if you hoofed it to her. Granted, the only reason I was interested in it was to improve my buzzing. My sister may have gotten the better cutie mark, but I got the better special talent.

“I could take your place on the cheerleading squad. My fall sports are over for the year, and I’m not playing as many spring sports. That would give you more time to dedicate to your studies.”

“That would probably be for the best. You should drop cheerleading to focus on your schoolwork, Honeybuzz. Bumblesweet can take your place.”

I was blindsided by that. Since when has my sister been interested in cheerleading? “Don’t you like it when I cheer you on to victory?”

“Of course I do, Honey. But I like seeing you do well in school even more. If your grades are suffering, then it’s the least I can do to help.”

So that’s what this was all about. She wanted my place on the cheerleading squad. I conceded defeat yet again. “All right, I’ll drop cheerleading. I’m glad you’re available to fill my spot. I’d hate to let the squad down and I know you’ll do a great job.” Which was true. I knew she’d do a great job, mainly because she wouldn’t rest until she was better at cheering than me.

I trotted down the corridor. The school year was almost over, and I’d pulled all of my grades back up to where they would’ve been if I hadn’t been intentionally sabotaging myself. Bumblesweet isn’t the only one who can earn straight A’s.

I didn’t see the orange hoof cross my path until it was too late. I tripped, heavy textbooks landing all around me. I looked up to see my friends from the cheerleading squad laughing at me. Bumble emerged from the hallway she’d been hiding in. “I told you she’s a klutz. Aren’t you so glad to be rid of her and have me on the squad instead? Talk about an upgrade. A pony this clumsy could cause serious injuries to her teammates.” She sat on me to prevent me from getting up, while my former friends kept laughing as my sister tormented me. We were of about equal strength, but she had leverage and I was effectively pinned and at her mercy. She wanted something.

“Rumor has it that my not particularly bright sister is doing better in some classes than I am. Now, I know we promised your grades would improve if you dropped out of cheerleading, but it wouldn’t look good for the student to surpass her tutor, would it?”

“You haven’t even tried to tutor me. I did this on my own, without your help.”

“Good, then you won’t need any help failing the next test in each of your classes, will you?”

“Go to Tartarus, sis. If you insist on making this a competition, beat me fair and square.”

“Wrong answer, Honey.” My former friends from the cheer squad pelted me with rotten tomatoes. “I’m glad we had this little chat.”

She stood up, dusted herself off, and trotted off, followed by her two flunkies. I stood up on shaky legs. Let the cards fall where they may, but I’m not holding back this time. I’ve turned the other cheek one too many times.

My sister and I were once more harvesting honey. As usual, I was distracting the bees with my buzzing so she could remove the combs. The bees were entranced while she was working with the hive.

With every ‘victory’ her ego swelled further, and somewhere along the line she lost touch with reality. Her grades were almost always higher than mine, she pushed herself and her teams to victory more often than not, and she was even doing a great job on the cheer squad.

I’d never begrudge her for her abilities. Her being ‘better’ at things doesn’t faze me. It’s her attitude that’s the problem. It’s her constant abuse towards me. It’s her obsession with beating me at all costs. It’s the fact that she’s even turning our parents against me. I stopped buzzing. I’m an awful pony for doing this, but I’m not nearly as awful as she is for pushing me into doing it.

“Ow! Ow! Honeybuzz! Ow! What the hay! Ow, ow ow! I’m getting stung! Ow! It’s going right through my clothes!”

Maybe you should try doing your own laundry sometime, sis. It’s a shame your suit’s getting so threadbare. I started coughing. I dropped to the ground, hacking. “Sorry…” Cough. Cough. “Sis, got a…” Cough. “Tickle in my throat.”

I started buzzing again and stood up. I looked at the hive, but Bumble was nowhere to be found. And the hive was just about deserted. Horseapples. They’re chasing her. I galloped towards the creek, and sure enough I found my sister keeping as much of herself underwater as possible as the bees hovered over the spot. “Buzz. Buzzzzz.” I started buzzing again and the bees stopped.

Bumblesweet poked her head above the water and saw the bees frozen and heard me buzzing. “It’s about time.” She swam to shore and then galloped toward the house. I slowly backed away from the bees, buzzing the whole time. Once I was far enough away from them, I turned tail and ran after my sister.

I closed the kitchen door behind me and found my sister sprawled on the floor, panting. “You okay, sis?”

“No. They got me. A lot.”

“Let me look.” Oh dear. There’s at least a hundred stings. As planned, some of them punctured through her protective suit. But this is more than I expected. Way more. I grabbed tweezers and started pulling the stingers out. “Show me where it hurts most.” She did her best to point out the ones that made it through her clothing, and I started with those.

Once I got the stingers out, I helped her up the stairs to the bathroom. “You need a cold shower. You’ve got too many stings for an icepack.”

I turned the water on and eased her into the shower. I kept her talking as the water washed over her body. Once her teeth started chattering, I reached in and turned off the water, then hoofed her a towel so she could dry off.

While she toweled off, I dug around in the medicine cabinet until I found some salve and a potion for bee sting relief. Bumble climbed into bed and I rubbed the salve on her stings, then gave her the potion to drink. I tucked her in and sat there chatting with her for a while. It was nice to have an actual conversation with my sister. It had been way too long since the last time we’d said more than a few words to one another.

Eventually sleep claimed her as the medication started working. My guilty conscience kept me at her side until she woke up. I didn’t mean for her to get stung this much. I just wanted to get her back for that incident at school a few months ago. Worst of all, was it wrong that I felt worse for losing more than a hundred bees than the fact that my sister was hurt so badly?

A year ago I would’ve found it difficult to believe things could get worse between my sister and I, but they did. She never asked for my help ever again when it came time to harvest honey, instead relying on a smoker.

She eventually stopped talking to me. She threw herself into her schoolwork and more extracurricular activities than ever before, and chased me out of the few I tried to get involved with. The only upside was she never laid a hoof on me again. I guess nothing makes a memory last like pain. I’d proven myself capable of striking back, and I think it scared her.

Almost a year of silent treatment was more than I could stand. Bitter rivals or not, we were still sisters and I still cared about her. I saved every bit I had for months to get her exactly what she wanted for Hearth’s Warming. She didn’t even thank me, and never even bothered to take the gift out of its box. For our birthday, she had a party and invited everypony in school. The only thing I could think to give her that she’d want was to not be there. So I snuck out and blew my birthday bits at the arcade instead.

It was at that point I realized that the situation had deteriorated to the point where things were no longer salvageable between Bumblesweet and myself. If the only way I could make my sister happy was to not be there, then I needed a way out.

Eventually I found one. The School of Friendship was looking for more students to enroll in classes. A quick check of an atlas confirmed that Ponyville was on the other side of the country from Seaddle. That would be more than sufficient distance away from her. I mailed in an application, with endorsements from three of my teachers.

I cracked an eye open as sunlight streamed through my window. A quick glance at the clock indicated it was only half past nine. I decided to do something about that: I closed my eye and rolled over, pulling a blanket over my head for good measure.

My bed was warm, and my dorm room was chilly. I always sleep best when it’s cool and I’m tucked under a mountain of blankets and a nice, thick comforter. With my roommate gone for the next month, I could finally keep the room as cool as I wanted.

My plans to take full advantage of that and catch up on sleep were dashed by a knock on my door. I groaned. “It’s open.”

Headmare Glimmer walked in and shivered as she stood in the middle of the room. “Honeybuzz?”

“Yes headmare?”

“Call me Starlight. I just thought I’d stop by and see how you’re doing. There are so few students left on campus.”

“I’m fine. Just enjoying the solitude and privacy.”

“You know we cover the heating bill. You don’t have to keep it this cold in here.”

“I like it cold in here. Helps me sleep.”

“I see. Anyways, I just wanted to ask why you decided to stay on campus instead of going home for the Hearth’s Warming break?”

I rolled out of bed and stretched. “My family’s back in Seaddle. It’s a week there by train and another week back. I didn’t want to waste all that time traveling.”

“I could teleport you there if you’d like. I’ll even come back for you in a month.”

“No.” That was probably too emphatic. “You don’t have to put yourself to any trouble, Starlight.”

She shrugged. “It’s no trouble at all. Give me five minutes in the library and I’m sure I could find a reference point in Seaddle. And once I have that, it’s just a few seconds there and back. I’m certainly willing to do that for one of my students. Of course, that’s entirely up to you. If there’s a reason you don’t want to go home, we could talk about it.”

“I’d rather not.”

“And that’s perfectly acceptable too. Part of friendship is knowing when to let sleeping dogs lie. But if you ever want to talk about it, or address any complaints you may have, my door is always open. For the record, I know what it’s like to not want to go home.”

“Oh?”

Starlight nodded. “I come from the small town of Sire’s Hollow. Ever heard of it?” I shook my head. “Not surprising, it’s a dot on the map. My Dad’s a little overbearing. As in, once I left town he decided the entire town had to stay frozen in time in my absence.” She chuckled. “He started the Sire’s Hollow Preservation Society.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“He had the bookstore designated a site of historical interest. Nopony could buy the books. Nopony was allowed to touch the books, so nopony could read the books. And the baker was forced to use 100% ancient pony grains in making bread. I sent his recipe and remaining inventory home with Yona last summer.”

“They eat it?”

“Of course not. Last I heard they were using it as currency. If not for all the new friends I’ve met here at the school, I never would’ve known that yaks place a lot of value on things that are impossible to smash.”

“Makes sense. Your dad sounds like an interesting character.”

“He is. And he’s a good stallion. But I can only handle him in small doses, so I avoided going home for a long time. But eventually I had to go back.”

“Needed money?”

She laughed. “No. By then I was already working at the School of Friendship, though at that point I was the guidance counselor. Instead I was called home by the Cutie Map to solve a friendship problem. Which turned out to be my relationship with my Dad, and Vice Headmare Sunburst’s relationship with his mother. Sunburst and I grew up together, and even though we drifted apart for years, we had one thing in common – neither of us went home.”

“Understandable. So what’s Vice Headmare Sunburst’s mom like?”

“I’m not sure if Stellar Flare started the Sire’s Hollow Development Committee in response to Dad, or vice versa, but she was in the process of turning Sire’s Hollow into a mall. She used to drive Sunburst crazy by planning every detail of his life out for him. At that point we thought we had the friendship problem figured out – all we needed to do was get his progressive mother and my preservationist father to compromise and we could get out of town as quickly as equinely possible…”

“I take it that didn’t work out quite like expected?”

“Not a chance. They quickly found common ground – helping us. And by ‘helping us’ I mean ‘driving us up the wall’. Things got worse before they got better, but we eventually reconciled with them and the two of us go home regularly now. Mainly because it prevents them from showing up here in Ponyville.”

I nodded. “So if I ever want to get expelled, I should send your dad a bunch of Ponyville real estate listings. Good to know.”

“Please don’t do that.”

“I’ll make you a deal: I’ll never do that as long as you never try to send me home for the holidays or summer.”

“Deal! Now that that’s out of the way, do you want to tell me why you don’t want to go home?”

“Sure.” I hoofed her an unopened letter from home. “I got this in the mail a few weeks ago. The penmareship is obviously my twin sister’s. I haven’t opened it, but I’ll bet you a bit it’s a Hearth’s Warming card and that at least half the text is bragging about her accomplishments in the months since I left home.” I placed a bit on the table to put my money where my mouth was.

Starlight took the card from me and scanned it. She frowned as she continued reading it, and eventually she levitated a bit next to the one I’d put on the table. “You obviously don’t want to know the contents, or you’d have already read it.”

“It isn’t hard to guess. Knowing her, she made honor roll, scored at least one game-winning goal in one of the half dozen sports she competes in, and probably made head cheerleader too. My sister’s competitive. Hypercompetitive. She hates losing.” I rolled my eyes. “A few years ago, we raced back home from school. The next day she told everypony how she’d finished runner up in a big race, and how I’d finished next to last.”

She worked through that in her head for a few seconds. “You beat her.”

“And her ego couldn’t take it. I don’t view everything in life as a competition. I don’t need to have higher grades than she does. I don’t need to be more athletic than she is. I don’t need to be more popular than she is. So I stopped trying. I just let her beat me at everything, hoping she’d either lose interest in beating me at everything, or decide I wasn’t challenging enough and find a ‘worthier’ opponent. No such luck. Then I started beating her in things, and that only made everything worse. The problems between us escalated even further, and so I came here to get away from all that.”

“What about your parents?”

“Why do you think she competes? She’s better at school, sports, and everything else. She’s the favorite, and I’m the disappointment.”

“That’s the worst sibling rivalry I’ve ever heard of. Which is odd, since twins normally have stronger relationships with one another.”

“So I’ve heard. I talked to the twins that own the spa.”

“Aloe and Lotus Blossom.”

“And the twins on the weather team.”

“Flitter and Cloudchaser.”

“And they all have much better sibling dynamics than I do with Bumblesweet.”

Starlight read through the letter again. “So your sister likes to brag?” I nodded. “How about you?”

“I prefer to let actions speak louder than words.”

Starlight grinned. “They say a picture is worth a thousand words.” Her horn lit up and we teleported.

That was a new feeling for me, and it was terrifying. A second later we winked back into existence, except now we were standing in front of Canterlot Castle. “Wow!”

“How’d you like to meet a princess? How’d you like to meet all the princesses?” She pulled a camera out of her saddlebag. “Smile!” Click.

With a whirr, the photo started printing out. She hoofed it to me, and it was a shot of me in front of the castle. “You know, just in case you wanted to send a letter back with a few photos to show what you’ve been up to these past four months.”

“You rock.”

She grinned, and trotted up to the guard at the castle’s door. After a few words, the guard opened the door, allowing us to trot in. Starlight led the way to a waiting room with the softest, most comfortable pillow I’d ever sat on. About five minutes later Twilight Sparkle teleported in and my jaw dropped. I struggled to get to my hooves, but she waved me back down.

“No need for formalities. Starlight tells me you’re a student at the school I founded. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m sorry I don’t have a lot of time at the moment, things have been pretty hectic here lately.”

“That’s okay. Really, I was just hoping you’d be up for a quick photo?” Starlight waved the camera in her magical aura, and Twilight nodded consent.

Starlight wrapped a hoof around me, and Twilight did the same from the other side. Starlight then levitated the camera away from us and clicked half a dozen shots. I trotted over to where the images had fallen and picked them off the floor.

“Did they come out okay?”

I nodded, and the camera disappeared back into Starlight’s saddlebag. “Thanks, Twilight. Would you mind having Spike send scrolls to Celestia, Luna, and Cadence letting them know we’re going to be dropping by shortly?”

Twilight nodded, and we were off in yet another flash, this time to the Crystal Empire. The scene repeated itself, pictures were taken, and then again in Silver Shoals where I met the retired princesses.

All too soon the best day of my life was over, and we were back at the School of Friendship. We’d winked into the cafeteria, just in time for lunch.

“There you are, Starlight.” The school’s guidance counselor pulled up a chair to the table we were sitting at. “Trixie thought you’d gotten busy and forgotten our daily lunch. Again.”

“Nah, just taking a little tour of Equestria to work up an appetite.”

“If you’ll excuse me, I have a letter to go write.”

“You’re excused.”

“Thanks, and thank you for the tour. That was incredible.”

“You’re welcome! I’m glad you enjoyed it!”

I grabbed an apple and a few granola bars, then trotted back to my room.

Dear Bumblesweet,

I hope you’re doing well. Forgive my delay in writing back, it’s been crazy here. I don’t have much time to explain what’s been going on, so I figured I’d just toss a few pictures in and let them do the talking.

I’m sorry I won’t make it back for the holidays. Please pass my love on to Mom & Dad.

Happy Hearth’s Warming!

Your twin,
Honeybuzz

I trotted into town, purchased a card to slide the letter into, then mailed it off at the post office.

Headmare Starlight had called me into her office, and from the look of it, I wasn’t alone. It’s the first day of the semester. There are always problems to resolve. But what did I do?

I took a seat next to Rainbow Harmony in the waiting room. “Good morning Rainbow.”

The pink pegasus filly took a look at me and cringed. “You look awful, Honeybuzz.”

“I couldn’t sleep last night. My roommate’s back from break and she keeps our room as hot as a furnace.”

The pegasus across the room snickered at that. “Is her name being Citrine Spark?”

I turned to look at the pink mare. “How did you know that?”

“I am also being a former roommate of hers. I am liking it very cold because I come from Crystalvania, in the Frozen North.”

“I sleep better when it’s chilly.”

“Me too.” She smiled. “And I am having an off campus apartment and I have been doing the looking for a roommate. Would you be showing the interest?”

“Yes.”

She clopped her front hooves together. “Then let us do the talking to Headmare Starlight.”

I chuckled. “That’s what we’re here for, isn’t it? I didn’t catch your name?”

“I am being Bifröst.”

“Nice to meet you, Bifröst.”

Headmare Starlight popped out of her office. “Honeybuzz, you’re next!”

I trotted into the office and she closed the door behind me.

“I suppose you’re wondering why I called you in on the first day of class.”

I nodded.

“I just wanted an excuse for you and Bifröst to meet. I assume you’d like permission to move off campus? Granted.”

“You’re very sneaky, headmare.”

“I know. Send Bifröst in, and tell Rainbow Harmony she can go back to class now.”

I walked out of the office and sent Bifröst in. Then I sat next to Rainbow Harmony. “So what are you in for?”

“Starlight just wanted me to steer a conversation in the direction it needed to go.”

“She really is sneaky.”

“You have no idea.”

“Also, she said you can go back to class now.”

Rainbow shrugged. “I have study hall right now. Not much to study first thing in the morning on the first day back from Hearths Warming break.” She stood up. “See you at lunch?”

“Sure.”

“Honeybuzz?”

I opened my eyes. Bifröst was standing in the middle of the room we shared. “Mn?” It was too early in the morning for full words.

“What are you doing in the bed?”

“Sleeping.”

“But I just did the seeing of you outside.”

My eyes flew open. Horseapples! It was no longer ‘too early’ for full words. If somepony saw ‘me’ somewhere else while I was still in bed, that could only mean one thing. No. No, no, no, no, no. It’s not possible. She wouldn’t come here. She can’t come here. Can she?

Oh who am I kidding. If she thinks she can make my life miserable, she’ll come here. Headmare Starlight, I really hope I can count on you… At the very least I owed Bifröst an explanation. “So, funny story.”

“I am liking the humor. What is being funny?”

“I have a twin sister. That I’ve never mentioned. Because we haven’t been on speaking terms since… uh, since well before I left Seaddle.”

“I was not even knowing that you were being from Seaddle. You do not do the talking about your home life very much.”

“Because it was never really home. The School of Friendship is more of a home than Seaddle ever was.”

“I feel like I should be doing the hugging of you.”

“Save it for later. I have a bad feeling I’m going to need a lot of hugs by the time this day is over. Where, exactly, did you see this other me?”

“Your twin is being in the town marketplace.”

“Thanks. I hate to ask, but would you mind doing me a big favor?”

“It is not being a problem. What would you like me to be doing?”

“Get everypony from the school who’s still on campus. Students, teachers, staff… freeloading magicians.”

“Okay?”

“Bring them to the market. I don’t know what Bumblesweet’s been up to, but I have some guesses…”

“Then what?”

I shrugged. “I don’t have a plan. I’m hoping Starlight will come up with one, but surely somepony from the school will have an idea of some sort.”

Bifröst nodded, then jumped out our second story window. Defenestration is cheating. Without wings, I had to take the stairs, racing down them two at a time. I galloped through town, and several ponies gave me dirty looks. I really hope that’s because my running is disturbing them, and not because of something Bumblesweet just did.

It wasn’t hard to find my sister. She was wearing a dress that conveniently covered her cutie mark as she riled up the locals while pretending to be me. It’s not bad enough you had to turn everypony in Seaddle against me, you have to turn everyone in Ponyville against me too? She’s probably still angry that I met all the princesses… Time to do damage control.

She spotted me before I could say anything. “Well, look what the cat dragged in. Took you long enough.”

“Nice to see you too, Bumblesweet. Is there any particular reason you’re making a scene in town?”

She shrugged. “Consider it an attention getter. It got your attention, didn’t it?”

“…Yes.” I rolled my eyes. “You know, there are better ways to get somepony’s attention.”

“Of course I know that.” She smiled sweetly. “But they’re boring. Just like you.”

“So what brings you to Ponyville, sis? Considering last I checked you weren’t even speaking to me…”

She pretended to gasp. She’d been the star of several school plays, so I knew her acting skills were better than that. “I’m offended. Can’t I come visit my favorite twin sister?”

“I’m your only twin sister.”

“Details, details. I came here to patch things up with you, Honeybuzz.”

I quirked an eyebrow and waited for the other horseshoe to drop. If she was on speaking terms with me again, it meant she wanted something badly.

“Say, does Princess Twilight still live here in Ponyville?”

And there it is. You’re as subtle as an airship crash, sis. “I’m afraid she moved to Canterlot. But if you go to the end of the block and turn right, the train station’s only three blocks away. You could be in Canterlot in a few short hours, and I’m sure Twilight would be thrilled to take time from her schedule to fawn all over you.”

“But I was hoping my sister who’s already such good friends with the princess could get me in to see her. You do know her, right?”

“We’ve met.” That much was true at least.

“Your Hearth’s Warming card said you knew all the princesses personally.”

“It said no such thing. If I remember correctly, it said I was too busy to write a full letter and to see the enclosed pictures.”

“That’s not what was in the letter I read out loud to our parents.”

Oh that little sneak. She made up a story and then showed them the pictures of me with the princesses.

“I knew you were lying. Of course you were lying. You could never hope to measure up to me, so you had to lie about how you’re such good friends with all of the princesses.”

“So you made up a story. You thought you were clever, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t make up anything. You said you were too busy to write, so I just filled in the gaps like any responsible sister would do. Our parents worry about you, so it was nice to be able to give them an update that put their minds at ease.”

I massaged my scalp with a hoof. “You only see what you want to see. You warp the world to meet your twisted fantasies. I’m tired of it, sis. I came here, all the way across the continent, to get away from you.”

Bumblesweet again mock-gasped. “You would throw away your own twin sister? What kind of heartless pony are you?”

“That’s a question you should ask yourself.” I threw my hooves up in frustration. “Fine, if you want to ruin my life so badly, have at it. I’ll just move to another town and this time I won’t be foolish enough to let you know where to find me.”

The crowd around us was getting thicker – Bifröst had thankfully rallied the School of Friendship to my side. I owe you one, roomie. I turned my back on Bumblesweet, knowing that dismissing her would infuriate her further. I took the opportunity to scan the crowd for friendly faces. Starlight wasn’t there, nor were any of the teachers, but a lot of the students were watching our altercation.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“The train station, since you aren’t. Have a nice life, sis. Do me a favor and forget I exist, k?”

“Oh no, no, no. You’re not getting out of this that easily. I challenge you to a contest. I’ll even let you pick. There’s nothing you can do that I can’t do better.”

“Why does everything in life have to be a competition for you?”

“Life is a constant race to stay on top.”

“No it isn’t. I’m sorry you feel that way, but there’s way more to life than that. Maybe you should try the School of Friendship.”

“If you want to concede defeat, here in front of everypony, by all means, go ahead.”

“Fine, you win…” She smirked, thinking I’d conceded. “…if a competition is what you want, I challenge you to a smashing contest.”

Bumblesweet snickered. “You always were good at breaking things, sis. Like that time that you broke Jazz Hooves’ leg. I think I underestimated you. Maybe you really do have a chance at this one.”

“I know I’m not going to win. That said, I don’t think you’re going to win, either.” I held out a hoof and tagged one of my fellow students. “I never said I’d be competing, Bumble. Yona, this one’s all yours.”

“This is best day of Yona’s life.” She gave me a bonecrushing hug then charged towards a pile of very smashable items in front of Curio’s Antique Store. Yona absolutely obliterated a grandsire clock before my sister had even started moving in the direction of the store.

Bumblesweet gave it her all. She charged into the store and started throwing things out the window.

“Yes! That’s the spirit, Honeybuzz pony clone! Yona love challenge!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at Yona calling Bumblesweet my clone. I could tell that rankled my sister – she really started getting into it. She bucked the front door off its hinges and into the street. A lamp shaped like Discord was the next thing to fly out the window, followed by an entire display case filled with porcelain dishes. My sister leapt from the building, trampling the lamp and bucking the remnants of the display case until nothing inside remained intact.

Knickknacks rained down on the cobblestone street as Bumblesweet bucked and stomped. Tatters of a shredded coronation dress floated down from the second story. Yona, meanwhile, gored and trampled, rammed and stomped. She was in her element.

Spectators backed up to the other side of the street as the two contestants in the first ever Ponyville Smashing Competition continued to destroy everything in their path. Sandbar and his friends were cheering on Yona. Very few ponies were cheering for my sister.

Curio stood over the pile of debris that had once been her store’s merchandise. “Let’s tally this up to see who won, shall we? Grandsire clock, one hundred and five bits; seventeen vases, each priced to move at just eighty-eight bits each…”

Bifröst looked over the carnage. “Who is going to do the paying for all of this?”

“Yaks have smashing budget. Only thing we all agree on.” We all looked at Yona, incredulously. “What? You didn’t think yaks go around smashing everybody’s stuff without paying for it?”

Everypony in the crowd looked to her, then to each other. I’d never really thought about it before. Glancing around, I don’t think anypony had. It really prompted the question of where Yakyakistan was getting the bits for a smashing budget.

Curio nodded. “Every time she needs to break stuff she comes here, and I get a check the next week from the Yakyakistanian treasury. So I know her part of the damages are covered. Now, let’s total up your share of the smashing, miss.”

I saw my sister’s face pale as she realized she was going to have to pay for all the stuff she’d smashed. Actions have consequences. Whoever would’ve imagined?

“We’ll start with my display window. My front door. Hmn, a couple of walls, one of which I think might be loadbearing.”

“Oh! Yona never even think to break building. Nice job smashing, Honeybuzz pony clone!” She clapped Bumblesweet on the back, knocking my sister to the cobblestones.

She picked herself up, fuming. “My name is Bumblesweet! Seriously, has Honeybuzz never even mentioned me at all?!?”

“Nope,” I said, smugly. “Look on the bright side, sis. You out-smashed me. You might even have out-smashed a yak, and that’s no small accomplishment.”

“Ha!” Yona laughed. “If Honeybuzz pony clone out-smash Yona, Yakyakistan will cover her share of the smashing too.”

Some semblance of relief washed over Bumble after Yona said that. Her hypercompetitive nature showed through – she actually started trying to argue that things were more expensive than they really were. Truthfully, nothing in Curio’s shop was particularly old or valuable. It was a glamorized secondhoof shop, and the locals all knew it. My sister, however, didn’t.

The end result was closer than I’d expected, but still a landslide for Yona. The happy yak danced in the street while Bumblesweet started stammering an excuse as to why she couldn’t pay the proprietor almost five thousand bits. Cheap junk or not, Bumblesweet had smashed a lot of it. Bumblesweet snorted and stomped the ground in frustration. The shop, already weakened from her earlier smashing, collapsed.

Dust coated all of us and I coughed as I congratulated my sister for winning. “You really know how to bring down the house, sis.”

“Ha! I win after all!”

“No fair! Yona no know that building was fair game!” She banged her head on the pile of debris and screamed in frustration. “Yona need to smash something!”

Everypony with even a shred of self-preservation backed away from the angry bovine. Sandbar, however, rushed over to her and led her away from Ponyville and the many, many smashable things within. Ocellus shapeshifted into a cragodile and helped herd Yona toward the Everfree Forest.

“Like I said, there’s nothing I can’t do when I put my mind to it. Even out-smashing a yak.”

“You should definitely put that on your résumé, sis.”

Bumblesweet glared at me. “I don’t need to. I’ll inherit the family beekeeping business and you’ll get squat.”

I shrugged. “If I cared about any of that I’d still be in Seaddle. I miss our bees, but that’s about it.”

“What seems to be the problem here?” Starlight Glimmer stepped between Bumblesweet and myself.

Now Starlight shows up. “My twin sister showed up in town and caused a little trouble.” I motioned to Curio’s leveled shop. “Quite a bit of trouble, in fact.”

“Did you really destroy this secondhoof shop?”

“Uh…” Bumblesweet looked at the crowd, all of whom were nodding that she had, in fact done so. “Yes… But I can explain.”

“Oh this ought to be good.” Starlight’s horn glowed and a folding chair appeared next to her. She took a seat. “Please, feel free to explain this destruction.”

“Well, you see… there was this contest and I had to beat a yak. And well… the building didn’t make it but it counted toward my damage total which put me over the top. And that means Yakyakistan will pay for the damages.” She grinned smugly. “Because I out-smashed a yak.”

I grinned. “Bumblesweet said she wanted to meet Princess Twilight. I bet the princess would love to hear about all the damage my sister has done to her old hometown of Ponyville. What do you think?”

“I suddenly no longer desire to meet Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

Starlight tapped a hoof to her chin. “You know, that sounds like a wonderful idea. I can get us an audience with Princess Twilight immediately.”

“I’m sorry, but I have other places to be right now.” Bumblesweet turned tail and ran toward the train station.

I sighed. “I want to love her. There was a time I’d have given anything to have her treat me as an equal, as a sister. The really crazy part? Today was a step in the right direction, because she actually recognized my existence and spoke to me. The entire last year I lived in Seaddle she didn’t say a word to me. If I never see her again… I don’t think I’ll care. All I can say at this point is good riddance to bad rubbish.”

“I can see now why you don’t go home.”

I shrugged. “As I’ve said to you a bunch of times, I’m already home. Ponyville is my home.” That prompted everypony who overheard me say it to give me a hug. Ponyville is such a crazy old town, but it’s my kind of crazy. I turned to Starlight. “So, think we should send her to go meet your dad?”

“No. I love my daddy, even if he drives me up the wall most of the time.”

I chuckled. “That’s true. He doesn’t deserve to put up with that. Thank you. I don’t think I need to worry about her showing up in Ponyville again.”

“Speaking as a former villain, never say never. She came here to show you up and failed spectacularly. Right now she’s really, really embarrassed, but soon enough that will turn to anger. She’ll want revenge. That said, you probably don’t have to worry about it any time soon. It’ll be a long time before she shows up in Ponyville again.”

“I hope so. Ponyville has enough villains who’ve sworn revenge on the town and its denizens that we don’t need to add my sister to the list.”

After my sister’s rampage, I decided I needed to get a job in town. Partially because it was nice to have a source of income, but mostly because I realized I needed to put myself out there more. I wanted everypony in Ponyville to know who I was. Not because I needed my ego stroked like my sister, but because if she ever came back, I wanted ponies to know she wasn’t me.

My first thought was to fall back on what I knew. It’d been a few years since I’d last kept bees, and I didn’t want to lose the skills I’d learned. Despite my begging, Starlight wouldn’t let me set up an apiary at the school. Considering she’d already helped me out a bunch of times, I wasn’t willing to force the issue.

It turned out I didn’t need to. Professor Applejack kept me after class one day and insisted I follow her back to Sweet Apple Acres. “This here part o’ the Acres isn’t being used for anythin’ thanks to me setting aside this land as part of a sanctuary for pesty vampire fruit bats.”

“That seems unusual.” I thought about it for a second. “Fluttershy?”

“Got it in one. She’s got a soft spot for any critter, even thievin’ varmints. Had to designate this whole section of orchard as a nature preserve. Ain’t usin’ it for nothin’ else, so may as well let you keep some bees here. I could use a good pollinator ‘round these parts.”

I gasped. “You don’t have a beekeeper in Ponyville?” I hadn’t seen any apiaries, but I hadn’t gone looking for any either.

“O’ course we have a beekeeper. I just don’t like him all that much on account o’ him ruinin’ my most darin’ pony contest with RD. I would’ve won, too, if not for him callin’ his bees back. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ponyville, but the downside to livin’ in such a small town is that when you’re feudin’ with somepony, an’ he ain’t got no competition, you don’t have any other options. ‘Bout time he had some competition. So you can use this here portion of the orchard and have as many hives as you want, an’ I’ll even let y’all sell your honey and candles and whatnot at my stall in the market. Free o’ charge, since you’re such a good student, and since you’ll be pollinatin’ my orchard.”

“Thank you!”

“Don’t mention it.”

Applejack left me alone to start setting things up, not that I could do all that much without supplies. Mostly I mapped out where I wanted everything to go.

Half an hour later Applejack returned with her brother, Big Macintosh, in tow, and they started hammering and sawing. Despite my curiosity, I watched them work in silence. I’d known AJ long enough to know she didn’t like folks interrupting her when she was working.

A few hours later I had an office. It looked a bit like a miniature barn, but that made sense since the Apples had a lot of experience raising barns. I’d been living in Ponyville for only two years and their barn had been replaced four times since I’d moved in. It was like the building was a magnet for disaster.

It felt good to be beekeeping again. It was my special talent, after all. Since Sweet Apple Acres was my patron, I decided to start with blue orchard bees to pollinate their apple trees. There would be no honey from them, but that was okay. My end goal wasn’t to replace Ponyville’s current beekeeper, but to get Applejack set up with her own source of pollination. Something she could keep up if I decided to leave Ponyville after graduating from the School of Friendship. If I decided to stay in Ponyville, I’d have to meet this other beekeeper for myself before deciding what course of action to take. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were too competitive and reminded me a lot of my sister. I had a hunch that Ponyville’s resident pollinator wasn’t to blame for whatever tiff AJ had with him.

With the orchard taken care of, I moved on to honey bees. With only a few hives, I wouldn’t be making much off the sale of honey or wax, but like with the pollinators, I was mostly producing to meet the needs of Sweet Apple Acres, not Ponyville. But I still needed some excess to sell. The whole point of getting a job was to be more visible to Ponyville as a whole – and there was no better place to be seen than in Sweet Apple Acres’ booth in the town market. Almost everypony in town bought apples.

I’d show up once a week with a few jars of honey and some candles and sell out of my meager inventory long before the Apples would. But it was obvious that they needed help, so I stuck around regardless. They had a huge orchard, and AJ and her siblings were the only truly able bodies they had to work it. Granny Smith was frail, AJ had more demands on her time than ever now that she was a professor at the School of Friendship, Big Macintosh had started a family with a baker named Sugar Belle, and Apple Bloom was barely older than me and still in school. They all had other responsibilities, and their parents weren’t around. Something had happened to them – their pictures were prominently displayed in the farmhouse, but the Apples never mentioned them and I didn’t ask.

But it was obvious that they needed help. So I pitched in, bucking trees here and pressing cider there. I spent so much time at Sweet Apple Acres that the Apple family became a surrogate family for me. If I was working out in the orchard, Sugar Belle would come around with drinks and snacks so I could ‘keep my strength up’. Apple Bloom usually invited me to tag along whenever she went places with her friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Granny Smith insisted I stay for dinner every night, and Applejack made sure I was compensated for my time helping out at the market stand.

“Any idea what’s going on?”

Bifröst shook her head. “I am being as confused as you are being.”

We continued trotting towards the auditorium with the rest of the student body. The auditorium was packed, filled with a menagerie of sapients: ponies, griffins, zebras, dragons, buffalo, hippogriffs, yaks, giraffes, Abyssinians, minotaurs, and even changelings. It would’ve been an impossible gathering just a few short years ago. According to Bifröst, when the school opened there’d been a solitary representative each from the changelings, yaks, hippogriffs, dragons, and griffins. Now there were dozens.

Once everycreature was seated Headmare Starlight stepped up to the podium. “Thank you all for attending on such short notice. It’s rare that news this momentous is announced. Researchers have discovered a parallel world to ours. We’ve had ponies living there in secret for the last forty years, and now they’re looking for volunteers to travel there for a few years. As the School of Friendship, our students are being given priority. The princess is looking for the brightest and best, with an emphasis on those who’ve excelled in friendship lessons. Starting next semester, we’re going to be offering classes preparing those who wish to travel to Earth. We’ll be mailing the course catalog to any others interested in seeing Earth for themselves, but you’ll all have an advantage by being here. This is a lot to take in, so classes are dismissed for the rest of the day. We’ll distribute more details tomorrow, once we’ve had a chance to print them off.”

The assembly dispersed, most of the students thrilled to have the rest of the day off. Bifröst and I were among the last to leave the auditorium, and Headmare Starlight stopped us.

“A word with the two of you, if I may?”

We followed her back to her office and pulled up seats. “What’s up?”

“You each have unique situations, and honestly, I think this chance to go to Earth is perfect for both of you. Once we have the fall course catalog ready, I’d recommend you both enroll. As you know, I’m close friends with the princess, and as such, I have some information that’s not available to the general public just yet.” She slid a pair of envelopes across the table, one addressed to each of us. “I believe you’ll find you each have a skill set desperately needed on Earth.”

I opened my envelope to find pamphlets in a foreign language I couldn’t read. But they had bees on the cover. “Um?”

“I am not understanding either, Headmare Starlight. I am seeing pictures of the arctic.”

“You’ll of course need to learn some of Earth’s languages, and in particular these works are printed in English. I have yet to learn these myself, and I’m scrambling to find linguists able to learn new languages in three months so we can offer them as courses this fall. I’m really pressing the princess to have some of the ponies who’ve been over there for a few decades come and teach here for a few years. Thankfully, due to their research we have Equestrian-English translation guides, but I don’t have anypony on staff who knows the language yet. At the very least, I want an English class. What you need to know is that unlike Equestria, they don’t control the environment on Earth, and things aren’t going so well. Bees are in decline, and the polar icecaps are melting. I know these are areas of interest to you, and I’m thinking that Equestria could make a great impression on the people living on Earth if we could solve some of their environmental issues for them using pony magic and know-how.”

I nodded. “I’ll think about it. It seems well-suited for me and I have no qualms uprooting my life and moving someplace new. I did it before, and I can do it again.”

With that, Bifröst and I walked home to contemplate this new development in our lives.

“The wheels on the bus go ‘round and ‘round, ‘round and ‘round, ‘round and ‘round, all through the town.”

“The wipers on the bus go swish swish swish, swish swish swish, swish swish swish, all through the town.”

“The horn on the bus goes beep beep beep, beep beep beep, beep beep beep, all through the town.”

“The ponies on the bus bounce up and down, up and down, up and down, all through the town.”

Bifröst had started the song, and the rest of our friends quickly joined in. We giggled as we finished, substituting ‘ponies’ for ‘people’ in the last verse. Ponies are musical by default, and random crowd songs are a known phenomenon. We’d found the song while researching buses; once we found out we’d be riding on one, we of course wanted to know what it was. The rest of the bus likely didn’t know the song, but that didn’t stop them from continuing it with their own improvised lyrics.

“The engine on the bus goes vroom vroom vroom, vroom vroom vroom, vroom vroom vroom, all through the town.”

“The brakes on the bus go squeal squeal squeal, squeal squeal squeal, squeal squeal squeal, all through the town.”

The bus driver came on the intercom and added one final line, “The radio on the bus plays Air Supply, Air Supply, Air Supply, all through the town.” And then he turned the radio up.

I know just how to whisper, and I know just how to cry, I know just where to find the answers, and I know just how to lie…

“Oh, they have a human equivalent of Mare Supply!”

Making love….

“Out of nothing at all!” I really don’t think the driver expected his passengers to sing along.

I glanced out the window and saw Feathermay flying alongside the bus. I nudged Bifröst and pointed out the window.

“What is Feathermay doing being outside the bus?”

I shrugged. “She must’ve gotten distracted before we left.” I’d only known the mare for a month, but ‘scatterbrained’ was a good way to describe her. She was a sweetheart, but she had the shortest attention span of any pony I’d ever met. If the fate of the world were to ever rest in her hooves, we’d all be doomed.

“I am wishing I would have thought to do that. The bus is being enclosed.”

“And it smells funny.”

“That too.”

“Salutations!” Bifröst and I turned to look at a blue unicorn standing in the aisle. “My name is Snowcatcher, and I’m just curious what brings you to Earth?”

“The bus. It is bringing you too.”

I resisted the urge to facehoof at Bifröst’s reply. “I think she’s asking why we’ve chosen to leave Equestria to come to Earth.” I hoofed the unicorn one of the pamphlets Starlight Glimmer had given me all those years ago. I could read it now, and had learned about the mysterious Colony Collapse Disorder and the slow decline of feral pollinators. “I come from a long line of beekeepers, and this is a mystery worth solving.”

Bifröst nodded. “Yes, I am coming to Earth for a similar reason. Earth is heating up due to greenhouse gases, and the polar icecaps are doing the melting. I am also looking to be solving problem for humans.”

Snowcatcher nodded. “Good goals. What are your immediate plans once we get through the consulate?”

“I was going to start an apiary. If I’m going to get to the bottom of what’s messing with Earth’s bees, I need to start working with them.”

“I am not sure. I was going to be asking the duchess how I should best be proceeding.”

“I’m looking to start an Equestrian style hotel. You know the type – where we all live on site. I’m willing to accommodate everypony in any way I can. I was planning on finding a property with a large yard, and I’d be happy to add an apiary to the final plan if you’d be willing to go in on this with us.”

“We’d all be pooling resources?”

“I’m asking for everypony to contribute their stipend. Anything else you may have brought along, you’d keep. I know it’s a lot to ask, but if enough of us go in we can afford a decent property big enough for all of us. Individually, our stipends won’t go far, but if we all pitch in, who knows what we could do.”

If humans are anything at all like ponies, they won’t want to live next door to thousands of bees. That meant I’d need a lot of land for my apiary. “What’s the catch?”

“What isn’t the catch? We’ll be gambling all our bits on a business venture with no guarantee of success. The upside is even if the hotel fails, we’d still have the property as long as we don’t go into debt. At that point we’d just have to evaluate our individual talents and see if there’s something else we could do instead. Or look for jobs individually.”

I chuckled. “Great sales pitch.”

She laughed. “I’ve been practicing it here on the bus, but as you can tell I’m no salespony. It is what it is. I’m just giving everypony an option they didn’t know was available. You need a lot of land, and I’m sure you know better than I do that beekeeping is an occupation with low profit margins. This way you get an apiary and an extra source of income.”

She might be a lousy salespony, but she made a logical argument. “All right, I’m convinced. How about you, Bifröst?

“I am thinking it is being a good idea to have a roof over my head. Like you, I can be doing my research in my down time.”

Snowcatcher beamed. “Thank you! We still need more ponies to go in on this, but I’ll keep you posted.”