“Pinkie, I don’t know if this is such a good plan.”
Pinkie cocked her head. So far, everything had worked out better than she had hoped. Evening and the other clones had agreed to give living peacefully a shot while the rest of Pinkie's friends had all taken the long-winded explanation Pinkie had given them in stride. Things seemed to be going perfectly so she didn't understand why Twilight was upset. “What’s the problem, Twilight? Everypony seems to be getting along really well.”
“It ain’t a dang Element you lyin’ toad! It’s a hat! Everyone can see it’s a hat!”
“Nah, I’m definitely wearing the Element of Truthy or whatever on my head. Yer just too dumb ta see it.”
Pinkie ignored the shouting from the next room of the palace even as Twilight’s lips pursed with worry.
“Pinkie, it isn’t that I don’t trust your judgment, I do, but I’m not sure if we can trust them. Chrysalis made them with the single purpose of getting revenge on us. They're practically living dark magic for Celestia’s sake!”
“Psh,” Pinkie dismissed with a wave of her hoof, “That doesn’t mean anything. I was made with the purpose of taking over my family’s farm and that didn’t happen. Trust me, you gotta pump out a lot of kids to run those things.”
Twilight didn’t seem convinced. “That’s different. These aren’t even real ponies. I know they were able to hold the Element of Laughter without any side effects and they seem to have their own personalities but what if the changeling magic is just that good? All of their nice tendencies could be cleverly crafted lies.”
Pinkie grew grim. She didn’t want to but sometimes Twilight got too wrapped up in her own head and theories. In those cases, the only way to get her to listen was to be super-duper serious and a little teeny bit mean. “It didn’t seem like a lie when they stopped Chrysalis from killing me.”
It worked. Twilight completely stopped. All the twitches in her wings and nervous pacing froze. Pinkie could practically hear the gears in her friend's brain screech to a halt as Twilight finally looked her in the eye.
Then Twilight hugged Pinkie. And Pinkie hugged her back because it was kinda mean to scare Twilight like that and she was fine now so Twilight really shouldn’t be worrying so much. Even though she definitely would be. For a while.
“I’m sorry,” Twilight said, her face pressed into Pinkie’s shoulder, “I don’t want to judge them too harshly. I am glad they saved you. I just don’t want anyone else getting hurt.”
“Aw, Twilight there’s no need to worry,” Pinkie reassured her friend, not releasing the hug as Twilight made no move to do so herself, “I know they seem kinda prickly and mean at first but they’re really nice when you get to know them. And all they wanna do is be their own ponies. I think they’ve even all picked out names by now!”
Twilight chuckled a little in disbelief and finally pulled away. “Yeah, I know. ‘Evening’ is fine, but I don’t think Fluttershy’s clone can stick with ‘The Better Fluttershy’. It might cause problems.”
Pinkie giggled too. “I think she just finds it funny. They’re like newborn babies! They aren’t sure where the line is sometimes.”
Twilight’s smile fell and she chewed nervously on her lip. “That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m not going to… get rid of them or lock them up or anything but I am worried about just letting them run loose across Equestria with no guidance or supervision.”
“Without… oh, Twilight!” Pinkie laughed at that. “Hehe, that’s a good one Twi-Twi!” She expected Twilight to be laughing with her but her princess friend was only giving her a baffled look as Pinkie clutched her sides.
Pinkie stopped laughing slowly and gave Twilight a raised brow and teasing smile. “...wait… were you serious about that? Twilight, don’t you own an entire school dedicated to teaching and guiding creatures that don’t really know what friendship is yet?”
Twilight stared at her for a good couple seconds, blinking rapidly, before she hit herself in the face and groaned. “Oh, sweet Celestia I am so stupid.”
“Nah,” Pinkie reassured her, springing up off the floor and patting her friend comfortingly on the back, “You just got stressed out and forgot about some stuff. Happens to the best of them.”
Twilight gave a smile back but it was small and disappeared quickly as she let out a long sigh and slumped to her haunches. “This is going to be challenging. Ignoring how confusing it’ll be to have a double of the teachers walking around as students-”
“They’re not doubles,” Pinkie interrupted with a frown, “They’re their own ponies. They just… look like us is all.”
Twilight stared at her for a long time with an expression that Pinkie couldn’t quite read before she sighed again and nodded. “Yes. You’re right. But even so, it’s going to be an awkward conversation to have with the other students… not to mention the EEA is going to be breaking down my doors over this.” She paused and stared at the ceiling in contemplation. “Or maybe they won’t? I honestly have no idea how those guys think.”
“And who cares what they think!” Pinkie added, throwing a hoof around Twilight’s shoulders and pulling her back to her hooves, “Our job is to make sure everyone who wants to learn about friendship has the opportunity, right? Not please a bunch of stuffy-pants Unicorns.”
This time, Twilight’s smile was stronger, if not still a tiny bit scared as she leaned over to nuzzle Pinkie’s cheek. “What would we ever do without you?”
“Guess you’ll never find out,” Pinkie declared, throwing the doors back to the main room open, “Now let’s tell everypony the good... news?”
The sight that greeted them could only be described as chaos incarnate.
Except they knew chaos incarnate personally so Pinkie could say with confidence it wasn’t exactly that either but it was pretty darn close.
In one corner of the room was relative peace. Clone Pinkie and Clone Rainbow Dash, who had both not chosen names yet, had a single bowl of popcorn from the multitude of snacks left out for them and were idly munching away at it. They watched the rest of the room with amused smirks, a sharp contrast to the worried fidgeting Fluttershy was doing next to them.
The rest of the snacks had disappeared to the other side of the room where an impressive book fort had been erected. ‘Jolene’, though she had changed her name so many times Pinkie wouldn’t be surprised if it was already something else, was hunkered down inside the fort. She was surrounded on all sides by snacks, blankets, clothing, cooking gear, and a whole other host of knick-knacks one could easily swipe from a princess of friendship’s castle. So great was her bounty that it honestly looked like she couldn’t move much besides her head, which she was using to its full extent to verbally and magically fight off Rarity who was trying to pry a dress from her clone’s fort.
Applejack and ‘Crispin’ were standing off to the side spitting out a heated argument.
Well… it seemed like Applejack was arguing. Her clone, however, was simply leaning against the wall with a giant smirk on her face, countering every point Applejack made with lies filled of cheeky confidence.
Rainbow Dash and ‘The Better Fluttershy’ were in the air, screaming at each other so intensely it was almost impossible to make out what they were saying.
And poor, sweet Evening, was trying her darndest to settle the escalating situation.
“Would you all shut up! I can’t hear myself think over here! You dumb farm hick she’s just messing with you she isn’t as stupid as you are!”
Evening was doing a really bad job of it but Pinkie knew her heart was in the right place.
Twilight cleared her throat loudly. There was something about being an immortal being of immense powers that made ponies stop what they were doing really fast when you cleared your throat. Everypony immediately turned to look at her and the fighting pairs quieted down as Twilight frowned all disappointedly at them.
“So, good news clones, we have decided to let you enroll in our School of Friendship for the time being. With the intent to help you learn how to fully function as members of society,” Twilight said in her lecture voice, “I know it’s not the immediate ‘freedom’ you said you wanted but I think if you give it a chance you’ll find that friendship can open many doors for you.”
Evening snorted. “You can cut the crap. It’s obvious you just want to keep an eye on us to determine if we’re a threat or not.”
The rest of the clones grew uneasy at this statement and Twilight’s frown grew deeper. She opened her mouth, probably to counter Evening's theory, but Pinkie jumped in before the argument waiting below the surface could fully form. “But to sign up for school everycreature needs a name! Have you all picked one out yet?”
“Yes!” The white Unicorn in the book fort called excitedly, successfully pulling attention towards herself and away from the two glaring Alicorns. She pulled out a thick book from her horde and started to read. “My name is now ‘Well - Prince - Genoa - and - Lucca - are - now - no - more - than - private -”
“Oh give me that!” Rarity barked, ripping away the book from Well - Prince - Genoa - and… okay yeah, that name was a bit too long, “Your name can’t just be an entire book word for word!”
“But I want to have all the names,” the clone whined, “And that’s the biggest book I could find.”
Evening groaned loudly and turned to her fellow clone with an irritated scowl. “Why don’t you just name yourself ‘Infinity’ if you want everything? It means everything forever, you know. Then you don't have to spend an hour introducing yourself.”
The other clone hummed to herself for a moment, rolling the idea around in her head, before nodding with a beam. “That’s perfect! From now on I shall be ‘Infinity; Everything Forever’!”
There were no verbal objections to that and Pinkie took it as a good sign. She turned her sights on the next nameless clone she saw, hovering in the air. “What about you? I know you kinda picked one out but I really think you could find an even better one.”
The yellow clone flipped her long mane out of her face. “I do want to change it, actually. My new name shall be…” she smirked, seeming to bask in the attention before finishing, “‘Fluttershy is a Slut’.”
Rainbow’s face went so red Pinkie was sure it would pop like an overfilled water balloon. “You can’t say things LIKE THAT!”
“You’re right, that’s too long.” The poorly named Pegasus tapped her hoof to her chin, seemingly unbothered by Dashie’s yelling. “Sluttershy is much more condensed.”
Pinkie glanced at Fluttershy herself to see how she was handling the insults. But the real pony only seemed mildly concerned by the ordeal. Though she wasn’t speaking up she also wasn’t even trying to hide under the table or anything.
Then Pinkie looked to Twilight. Part of her almost hoped the Alicorn would step in if things got too out of hand, but the other part recognized the very real possibility that Twilight might drop the entire plan altogether if the clones proved to be too much of a danger to her friends.
And getting into a brawl with Dashie might just cross that line.
“Hey, um, that sounds really creative,” Pinkie spoke up, catching the attention of the two Pegasi right before Rainbow could throw a punch, “Buuuuut, maybe try to pick something without a bad word in it? There are a lot of kids at this school.”
The clone sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes. “Well, I suppose I can keep thinking.”
Pinkie beamed at her gratefully and turned to her next victim. “What about you? Have you picked out a name yet?”
The rainbow maned Pegasus sitting down stared at Pinkie with half-lidded eyes before rolling her head to drape over the back of her chair. “I don’t care what ponies call me. You just pick something.”
“Oooo!” Pinkie bounced up and down with excitement, ignoring the dubious looks the others were giving her and the blue clone, “I’m good at picking out names! Let’s see, hmm, you’re still pretty rainbowy so how about... Prism! Wait no, Spectrum! Oh oh Parade!”
“Parade?” Twilight asked, one brow raised in question.
“What?” Pinkie shrugged, “Parades are really colorful and fun! She’s just like one.”
“More like the rains on parades…” Rainbow Dash muttered, still glaring at Not-Fluttershy.
Pinkie gasped, ignoring the rude wing gesture the blue clone gave her counterpart. “That’s perfect! Raining Parade! How do you like it, huh, huh? We can call you Parade or Raining or Rain if we’re really really close!”
The newly dubbed ‘Raining Parade’ lifted her head to blink dully at Pinkie before turning away with a scoff. “Whatever. Do what you want.”
Pinkie beamed and, feeling more confident now, turned to the last clone in the room. “And what about you? Should I pick out a name for you too?”
The pink clone stuffed more popcorn in her mouth and shook her head. “Nah, I’ve decided on one. I think I’m going to go by Pinky Py.”
Pinkie blinked and felt her smile slipping. “You can’t do that, silly, that’s my name. We can’t have the same name, ponies will get confused.”
“No, Pinky Py, with ‘Y’s. Completely different,” the clone clarified, before shaking her head with an annoyed frown, “But I don’t see why I have to change my name at all. Why can’t I just be ‘Pinkie Pie’ and you change it, huh?”
Pinkie’s breathing sped up, just a bit, and she was fighting to keep her expression at least a little positive. “Because I’m Pinkie Pie. And you’re a different pony than me. So you have to have a different name. Don’t you… I mean, don’t you want your own identity?”
The other pink pony rested her chin in her hoof and eyed Pinkie critically. “I dunno. Maybe I’m the real Pinkie and you’re actually the clone. Ever think of that? I think you should be the one to change names. Not me.”
Pinkie tried to find words to counter that but she was too caught up with keeping herself from thinking too hard.
After a moment the pink clone’s mouth twitched into a small smile and she glanced away from Pinkie to the air above her. “You’re right. This is kinda fun.”
Not-Fluttershy snorted. “Of course it is. These ponies are so easily irritated. It's almost child's play.”
“Okay!” Twilight called, clapping her hooves together loudly and causing everypony to jump, “I think we should come back to this conversation later. Spike should be finished preparing the spare bedrooms by now so why don’t I show you where you’ll all be staying until we get things set up with the school, hmm?”
Infinity instantly burst out of her fort, sending stuff scattering everywhere and dashed towards the door. “Oh oh! I call the biggest room! And I am not sharing with any of you.”
“That’s fine,” Crispin called, following after her, her tail flicking in Applejack's face as she passed, “Ah already found someplace ta stay anyway. A big palace made a’ diamonds.”
“This is a palace made of diamonds, doofus,” Parade replied with an eye roll.
One by one, the clones ventured deeper within the castle. Twilight, after giving one last concerned glance back at her friends, quickly followed after them.
Pinkie jumped as a wing softly brushed her back and finally registered Fluttershy standing right by her side. “Are you okay, Pinkie?” She asked, her eyes soft with concern.
“Psh.” Pinkie pulled away from her comforting touch with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Of course, silly. It’s just a little teasing. All in good fun.”
Fluttershy didn’t look entirely convinced at that. But she stopped staring like Pinkie was one of her sick critters and instead turned to address the rest of the room. “They seem… um… interesting, don’t they?”
“If that’s what you want to call it…” Rarity muttered, her magic already setting to work clearing up the mess Infinity had made and hiding the damaged books where Twilight wouldn’t find them.
“I’m gonna kill her…” Rainbow muttered to no one in particular, “I am seriously going to kill her.”
“Aw, come on guys.” Pinkie gave a little hop and forced her voice to have more pep then she was necessarily feeling, “Sure, they’re a little rough around the edges but I know they’ve got some good souls deep down inside them.”
“No, you’re right.” The five ponies jumped and turned to face the door the clones had left through. Evening was still standing there with her default irritated expression. “They’re all horrible little devils built out of dark magic and with instincts to cause havoc and misery.” She kicked the door closed and walked back to the center of the room with an eye roll. “But this is the land of friendship and forgiveness and blah blah blah. I'm sure it'll all turn out just fine.”
“What are you still doin’ here?” Applejack asked, eyeing her suspiciously.
Evening gave her an incredulous look. “What? You think I’m just going to do whatever you tell me to like your own little dog? ‘Oh, come here so we can discuss your fates.’ ‘Oh, now go to sleep so we don’t have to think about you for a while.’ Yeah, no. I may have agreed to play nice but I am not following your rules.”
“Then what are you planning to do?” Fluttershy asked with a soft frown, “I don’t think Twilight would like you just wandering Ponyville. It might… um… confuse ponies.”
“Of course not. I'm not stupid enough to think I'd get away with that.” Evening spread her wings like a majestic peacock preening for an audience. “One of you will simply have the great pleasure of giving me a tour of your lovely little backwater town.”
Applejack shook her head. “Can’t help ya there. Ah still got chores ah put off for our campin’ trip. Now that ah’m back ah gotta pick up the slack.”
“I also have things to do, I’m afraid,” Rarity added, having finished sorting Twilight’s things, “If I’m no longer needed I simply must get back to work.”
“I can take you! I know everything there is to know about Ponyville,” Pinkie spoke up, hopping over to Evening’s side. She already felt better at the prospect of welcoming a new pony to her home. Maybe she'd be able to start planning a party.
Evening smiled a little at her and Pinkie felt even better knowing the clone was looking forward to it just as much as she was.
“Well, if Pinkie’s going then I’m coming too.” Rainbow landed between the two of them and turned to glare at Evening. “Someone needs to keep an eye on you. Maybe I can even show you one or two things.”
Evening’s face instantly dropped to a cold expression. “Fine. I suppose it’ll be interesting to see how different you are from ‘Parade’ anyway. Who knows, maybe you’ll be insufferable in an entirely new way.”
“Ooookay.” Pinkie squeezed herself in between the two glaring ponies and locked them both in a hug. “If Dashie’s coming with us it’ll be twice as fun! Let’s get this Ponyville adventure started!”
"Do you... need me to come along?" Fluttershy asked, "Because I can if you want but there's a sick little snake I want to check up on..."
"We'll be fine, Shy-Shy," Pinkie reassured her, "It's just a little tour around Ponyville. I've done thousands before."
Fluttershy shifted nervously. "Well, if you're sure..."
"Of course I'm sure." Pinkie tugged gently on Evening's mane. "Come on come on, let's go!"
"Ow, okay, slow down I'm coming. This was my idea in the first place."
Rainbow rolled her eyes as she followed after them. "This is gonna be a long tour."