It started with Kindness.
There was nothing special about the day. Average weather, average moods, an average day. That’s how it felt to me, at least, before Fluttershy came bursting into my bedroom with tears in her eyes.
Even looking back now, it feels like that couldn’t have been the start. Surely we’d missed something, not noticed some smaller upset in our lives, but I’ve looked. I spent years of my life asking anypony I could find what they could remember in the months leading up to that day, and there was nothing. It just… Happened.
We didn’t know what was going on. Fluttershy said she felt wrong. Like a piece of her was missing. Like somepony had ripped out a chunk of her soul when she wasn’t looking.
Who knows, maybe somepony had.
That feeling never went away. For all those years after it started, she felt that hollow ache. They all felt it, eventually. They pushed through it, they’re strong ponies, but I could see it in their eyes every time we talked. The fight never stopped.
In a way, it seems almost merciful that Fluttershy was first. From what they’ve said, it sounds like for the others it’s worse. Much, much worse. I would never wish that on any of my friends, but we all know Fluttershy was the least prepared to face something like this. Any one of us would have taken her place, had we been able to.
It took awhile for the news to reach us. We were spending the days in a frenzy, trying desperately to figure out what was happening. I might’ve starved if Fluttershy didn’t bring me food in the library. Always so kind, even after everything.
I think it was about a week. Five days, at least, I’m sure of that. A bird flew—or rather, fell—into Fluttershy’s window. It was so wracked with exhaustion it was unbelievable it was even still conscious, but when Fluttershy tried to treat it, the bird pecked her away. It wouldn’t let her touch it until she brought us the note it had carried from Starlight’s village.
Two words. Stay Away.
In retrospect, we were lucky only the six of us went. If anypony else had gone, we probably would have lost it all right there. It was only our connection to the Elements that kept us safe.
It was hard to tell what was wrong, at first. The village looked, from the outside, to be completely normal. Ponies were still going about their days, talking, laughing. As far as we could tell, everything was fine.
We could have found out more if we’d stayed to hear what they were talking about, how they were talking. We saw it as we left. Cruel jokes at the expense of friends, humiliating gossip, unchecked aggression. It baffled us that they were still even friends.
We’ve learned, since then, that ponies act very strangely when they lose an element. The key to understanding was in figuring out what that even meant. It didn’t seem like they were being forced to be cruel, and in fact they weren’t. They wanted to be cruel, they enjoyed it. Being kind, and having others be kind in turn, it just didn’t make them feel anything. It held no value to them anymore.
There was no missing it once we got to Starlight. She screamed at us, and I mean really screamed, the moment she saw us. How we were reckless, how we shouldn’t have come, how much she hated us sometimes. I haven’t seen her that angry since… Well, ever.
Starlight is still a good pony, though, and she’s still smart. Another sick stroke of luck, I suppose, that it hit her village first. She saw what was happening. How it worked. How it spread. Like a disease, sucking the essence out of ponies before moving on to a new host.
She saw that it could be contained.
Leaving her there was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Quarantined, cut off from Equestria, without any idea what’s going to happen. We did that to them. I know we had to, I tell myself that every night, but… We left them.
A couple of years in, Starlight stopped sending letters. It got to be too much for her, I guess. I went to check on her, of course, but the village was just… Empty. Completely, utterly empty.
For a time, it seemed like that was the end of it. Months passed. Years. No more incidents. We worked on a cure, to no avail. We didn’t even know what made it happen, we still don’t. Without that, it’s unlikely we’ll ever find a cure. Nopony else was getting sick, though.
We started to think, naively, that we were safe.
The second wave hit hard. Like whatever was causing this had been saving up its energy, waiting to strike at the worst possible time. Rarity and Applejack found me at the same time. They both felt it. After the first time, they knew what it was immediately.
Generosity fell in Manehattan. There’s some irony there, I think, if I could be bothered to look for it.
It wasn’t easy to figure out where it was. I mean, how could we look for a lack of generosity? Were we supposed to find ponies stealing cabs, overcharging for things, things like that? They could have just been grumpy. We couldn’t do what we had to do if there was a chance it was just a bad day.
We really only figured it out because Rarity knew so many ponies that lived there. We couldn’t tell with strangers, but we could tell with friends. Some celebrity cancelled a charity event, I think. Something we wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow at if it weren’t for Rarity. Manehattan was probably the closest we’ve come to losing it all.
We barely managed it, but we shut the entire city off. Nopony in or out until we found a cure. Everypony could tell we weren’t even close to that, though. As far as they knew, their world had just become a lot smaller, and it wasn’t going back.
Losing a city of that size hit Equestria hard. I don’t even mean economically, although that certainly took a dive too. No, Manehattan was a source of so many of the ways ponies escaped fears like these. Movies, fashion, food, suddenly it all went dark. Morale was damaged, to say the least.
Honesty… That hit Ponyville.
It started in the school. With the children. There was an argument, who knows what about, and it wouldn’t end. Tempers flared. Lies fueled anger, anger fueled lies. Cheerilee is a patient pony, but she does have a limit. An angry adult, fully willing to tell whatever lies they can think of, well… They can say some pretty cruel things.
From the children, it didn’t take long to spread throughout town. There was no stopping it, no saving part of the population. Children talked to family, family talked to friends. We couldn’t seclude everypony in town from their loved ones. We had to let it go.
Ponyville couldn’t survive losing Honesty. At least, not not without changing. It had to survive, we more or less forced that. We couldn’t let anypony leave, after all. The Ponyville we knew, though, that was gone.
Again, it was a wonder anypony stayed friends after that. It helped that they still didn’t lie all that much. Like with Kindness, it’s not like the element was reversed. Ponies just held no stock in the truth. They wouldn’t hesitate to lie if they thought it would help them, and they knew to expect the same from everypony else. It was like the entire town had become Flim and Flam.
Applejack and Rarity stayed for their families, of course, and Rainbow Dash was never away long. Pinkie did her best, but she started going back to the farm more and more. Fluttershy couldn’t take it. The lying was too much for her. I gave her my old room back in Canterlot.
Equestria changed after that. The first time could be written off, just a one time thing, a fluke, but now it loomed over us all. Any day, it could happen again. Anywhere. Ponies lived in fear. There were talks of closing the borders of every town. That was shot down, but the talks happened, and that… That says something.
I think we all kind of assumed we’d at least be safe for a couple years. The first gap was so long. Surely, we would have time to prepare.
We had six months.
I was afraid it might keep accelerating, that it would go from two to three at once. I was half right. There was only one hit, but it was worse. Much worse.
Was it another stroke of luck, that Celestia was in Cloudsdale when it hit her? Would Canterlot have been worse? It’s hard to say. It was bad, though. I mean, how do you stop it from spreading from somepony like Celestia? You just don’t. You can’t.
That was Loyalty.
Celestia didn’t return to Canterlot. She did what she felt she had to. She took Cloudsdale out of the picture. She just… She left. She took Cloudsdale and disappeared.
Rainbow Dash went after them. She hasn’t come back.
Loyalty is a strange one. One might think that, by disappearing, Celestia was sacrificing herself to protect us. Isn’t that the most loyal thing she could have done?
Well, it turns out she wasn’t protecting us. That much became clear when the sun didn’t rise the next morning. She was getting as far away from us as possible, so that we didn’t spread anything else to Cloudsdale. So they’d be safe if Equestria had an outbreak. She left us to fend for ourselves in an eternal night.
Luna rules alone now. I would help, but all my time is going into research. I have to find a way to fix this. Besides, I thought she should be able to handle it. Luna is stronger than she looks.
Pinkie found me today. She didn’t look good. All I can do is hope it didn’t hit anywhere too bad. I have to work, harder than ever. That’s five, now. I’m next. We’re out of time.
I don’t know what will happen when a place loses Friendship. I don’t know if we can survive it. These quarantines, the isolation, they only work because the ponies being quarantined have others they want to protect. Without friendship, I’m worried they’ll have no reason to want to keep the infection contained.
My research is a failure. I can’t fix this. I’m not willing to give in, though. I have one last card up my sleeve. One final resort, something I never wanted to do again.
I’m going back.
If anypony is reading this, I’m sorry.