Rational Salesponies

by Pokota


Let's Make A Deal

Cider Season is probably my favorite season of the year, 'cept for Zap Apple Harvest time. This year was the biggest crop of cider apples we had, and our till was showing it. Yeah, we didn't have enough cider today for everypony in Ponyville, but we still had a lot more than we did last year.

Pinkie Pie and a whole mess of other ponies had the bright idea to camp out in front of our Cider Stall last night in order to ensure that they got some cider. I heard Rainbow Dash complaining about it when we were setting up the first barrel. Maybe if she'd get off of her lazy flank and help me when I ask her to with harvesting the cider apples, I'd be more inclined to hold back a barrel just for her.

Ah well. We had about fifteen barrels the first day, which is three more than we had on our best day last year. We got most of the bad apples out of the way already, too, so we should have even more to sell tomorrow. We're already down to the last barrel, too, and I haven't seen RD yet. I hope she can get some before we run out. I don't want to have to listen to her whining about not getting cider.

Another sale, another two bits in the till. I wonder if Pinkie Pie was serious about sharing her cider with the ponies at the hospital. It'd sure brighten up their day if she did, but she bought an entire barrel's worth all on her own. I wonder if we shouldn't set aside a barrel or two for the hospital before we get started tomorrow.

Speaking of barrels, this one's just about empty. I hope it holds out long enough for RD to get some. With our luck, the pony in front of her will get the last of the cider for the day. Three more ponies to go. Two more. Fluttershy. I can already hear the hiss for the last sale from the barrel. As expected, Rainbow Dash pretty much explodes with anger at not getting any cider today. I'm about to tell her off when something comes over the hill.

We all look over and see some sort of steam-powered contraption chugging along. It looks like it belongs on train rails, and it's got a couple of carnival-looking unicorns on it. Please tell me they're not going to start singing... great, they're singing. Apparently they're Flim and Flam, traveling salesponies that are supposedly world-famous. Haven't heard of them before. They're singing something about a cider-squeezing machine.

One of them, the one without the moustache, comes over and asks me if I can lend him some of our apples. He sounds like he took lessons in flattery from Rarity, with how he compliments the apples, but I can't help but say yes.

This machine could be the answer to the town's wishes, depending on how good the cider is.

Granny Smith's gotten all riled up. I can feel her wanting to chew these two out for all their claims. I know she'd be opposed to selling anything that wasn't done by our own hooves, and a part of me is as well. But she's trying not to smile at the cider that those two brothers have her sample. I sure hope it's good.

How in the hay did they get the entire town to sing along with them? This is ridiculous, it's so over the top it'd make one of Pinkie Pie's songs look tame, and I can't help but tap my hoof to the beat. Before I know it, the song's over and they've already got Apple Bloom trying to cut a deal with them for the machine.

"Whoa there, little sis. Let's talk this over with Big Mac and Granny Smith before we make a decision." I'm just as tempted to let those two manage the cider production, but we still need enough bits to cover our bills for the winter that's coming.

The four of us huddle up. "Granny, is their cider any good?"

She shakes her head, but I know she's smiling about their cider. "'taint as good as our cider, and that's all that matters to me."

I look at her a little closer and ask her a different way. "If it weren't our apples they used, could they compete with us?"

She frowns. "Well, yes, and with how much of it they could make compared to us they could easily outsell us."

That's what I was afraid of. "Think we can get them to partner with us for an even split?"

Big Mac looks over at them and thinks for a moment. "Nope."

Apple Bloom looks at me. "They're offerin to let us make cider with their machine. We could easily make enough for the entire town with it."

I look her down. "If we make all that cider every day, we won't have many apples left for winter storage. That's part of why we take our time with the cider, Apple Bloom."

I can feel those two brothers pushing in on our huddle. "We'll sweeten the deal. You provide the apples, we provide the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Six Thousand. We'll even throw in the magic that powers the machine." The moustache-less one says.

We all look at him. "For how much? We need to make enough bits to keep Sweet Apple Acres afloat through the winter, and we do that by selling cider and storage apples." I say. "Even if we cut a deal with you that profits everypony, we're not gonna have alot of apples left to use for food once we're done, unless we cut cider season short this year."

The one with the moustache considers this for a moment. "You don't have to make all the cider in one day, and you've got more than enough apples to make cider for all of Manehatten for a week." He looks over at his brother, who nods. "If the rumors are true, there's a unicorn mare in town who can cast any spell she learns. We teach her the spell, you split the first day's profits with us – seventy-five for us, twenty-five for you, so that we have the money to build a new machine – then your unicorn friend powers the machine for the rest of Cider Season at whatever price you decide."

I chew on that for a moment. Twilight would probably agree to that, and she probably wouldn't even ask for all that much. "So that's what you mean by throwing in the magic used to power the machine." Apple Bloom says, and those brothers nod in agreement.

I look them over for a moment. "If you two want our business so badly, I want a contract. I've been burned in the past by charlatains who promise the moon and deliver pictures of it."


It's been a week since we bought the machine, and Flim and Flam dropped by yesterday to see if the machine needed any tuneing up before they left town. They've been real good about honoring their contract. We've split the cider-making load between the machine and ourselves, and we've been selling machine-made cider for less than the hoof-made cider. Flim and Flam couldn't believe that we were still selling more hoof-made cider than machine-made, but they just smiled and announced that they were taking their newly-built cider machine to Manehatten – they could make a fortune selling cider there, much more money than they'd ever make here in Ponyville.

I'm just glad we didn't end up having to compete against those two, whether in sales or in cider-production. I mean, can you imagine Sweet Apple Acres competing against those two? Why, at best it would have used up all our apples!