Heart of Magic

by TheCrimsonDM

Chapter Twenty Three: Cozy Confession

Twilight stood in Celestia’s throne room staring up at the massive throne of Princess Celestia. Luna was nowhere in sight, but even if she was the only thing she would be able to focus on was the dark figure sitting on the throne. Large flames fanned behind the figure casting it into shadow but its shape was unmistakably that of Princess Celestia. Her eyes glowed a deep golden orange.

Twilight tried to plea, “Celestia, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Celestia’s voice boomed at such intensity that the entire hall shook. “NO, YOU HAVE DONE SO MUCH WRONG, HAVE COMMITED SO MANY SINS, AND WORST OF ALL HURT MY SISTER!”

Celestia’s wings spread out, fire plumed with the movement. “I will cleanse your sins from this earth, Twilight. I will cleanse you, from this earth.”

The fire roared into the sky and soared overhead burning at the ceiling. The fire spread out into tendrils with dragon heads at the tip. Each one coiling around Twilight trapping her into a vortex of flames and fury. Twilight laid low. “Please no, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Somepony save me, please save me.”

From the corner of the room something caught her attention. A dark figure watching her with cold blue eyes. Twilight reached out. “Please help me!”

The figure turned its head and closed its eyes. Vanishing from sight. The flames fury consumed Twilight entirely.

Twilight sat up, her entire body was covered in sweat. In the darkness of the moonlight it took a moment for her to adjust her eyesight. As the darkness around her turned into vague shapes, bookshelves, windows, a door, and the couch she was lying on all made themselves visible to her. She was in Starlight’s living room lying on the couch.

For a long silent minute Twilight laid there trying to forget her dream, but it only brought on memories of Celestia, of Luna and of her friends. Her ex-friends. Eventually Twilight had to force herself up and out of bed. She went and made a cup of black coffee. For a moment she reached for her flask to add a bit of whiskey to her drink and stopped short.

Not only was her flask completely missing, along with its elusive answers. She was also trying to stay sober. She shook her head and settled for the black coffee. Bitter and cold.

It felt too hot in the house so she went outside and sat on the front porch. The stars were bright and the moon shone with a little less brilliance then it once had. It was still beautiful, but she was sure that the moon would have been brighter if only she hadn’t hurt it so.

A high pitched voice broke the silence. “Don’cha look like a bunch of sadness this morning.”

Twilight looked up to see Cozy’s head poking down over the roof and staring at her. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

“I was just taking a late night-early morning fly. It’s quiet this time a night.” She smiled brightly at Twilight. “What’cha doin up this late?”

“Nightmare.”

“Isn’t like, Princess Luna or something supposed to stop those?”

Twilight laughed. “Yeah, if you didn’t break her heart.”

“Oof, sounds like a rough one.” Cozy flittered down and landed next to Twilight. The mare was still a head shorter than her. Reminded her vaguely of Valiant Heart’s size. “So, if you’re up this late already. You wanna do something fun?”

Twilight finished off her coffee, set the cup down on the front porch’s wooden table and nodded. “If it’ll distract me from what’s going on in my head, sure.”

The two, led by Cozy started out into the town. This late at night it was perfect silence, with a slight chill in the breeze. Just enough that Twilight used a bit of magic to summon a pink and white scarf to surround her neck. She also made one for Cozy. For a moment Cozy held it in her hooves and gave a baffled stare at Twilight. “What’s this?”

“It’s a scarf to keep you warm,” Twilight said. “It’s a bit chilly out, thought you might be cold.”

Cozy raised an eyebrow. “What do you want for it?”

Twilight laughed. “Nothing. We’re friends, just wear it and stay warm. It’ll disappear in like twelve hours anyway.”

Cozy put the scarf on but looked uneasy about it. It was like watching Trixie whenever anypony was kind to her all over again. That struck out in her mind. Once upon a time Trixie had been awkward about all this friendship stuff too. Then again she had been hurt, broken, and ruined by a world that was cruel and cold. Was Cozy in the same shape, Twilight prayed she wasn’t.

About ten minutes into walking they reached the end of town. A long hill of grass sloped down into the nearby woods. Twilight stared down it, not quite sure if walking down a slope this late at night was such a good idea. “Where are we going?”

Cozy put a hoof to her chin. “…well… I guess I just wanted fly somewhere. I usually will fly over the forest at night, but you can’t really fly can you?”

Twilight let out a sigh. “Not really. Not even sure if my magic is strong enough to levitate myself for long anymore.”

Cozy landed next to Twilight and sat down. “Well we can just sit here and enjoy the sight of the forest until the sun comes up then.”

Twilight sat next to Cozy and stared out at the forest. “Yeah…”

Cozy’s head fell against Twilight’s shoulder. For a moment fear paralyzed Twilight. What if Luna saw her like this. Another mare leaning against her. Luna would be furious, and hurt, and… and…. Luna was gone from her life. After a moment Twilight relaxed and let the little mare lay against her. The warmth of Cozy’s body was nice against the chill in the air anyway.

“You know, Cozy,” Twilight said, “Life’s been… hard. You’re only, what? Twenty Two? You’re not a hero, not a princess, not one of Celestia’s weapons to use against her enemies. Even if you’ve been lonely in this town your life is safe. When I was seventeen I was forced to go and fight off ancient dragons. The kind that eat mountains. But I was good at it, I was proud to be Celestia’s tool, her blade, her… pawn.”

A sigh escaped Twilight’s lips. “I don’t know where things went wrong. Was it the wars? Was it the cult? Was it getting possessed by alien creatures from an ancient unforgiving space?

“I don’t think so, you know?” Twilight shook her head. “All these memories seem alien to me. Like I’m watching a movie rather than living it. I can remember the moment that Celestia turned against me, wanting to destroy something that was important to me. We actually fought!

“Can you believe that?” Twilight gave it a moment but continued. “Me and Celestia fought like real enemies. It took every ounce of power and smarts I had, but I somehow won the battle. Of course… after that I started to drink more often. I eventually found this flask sitting inside my office. It was just sort of there, and it had a note on it. The note said something like, ‘To Twilight, I’m sorry for the pain you’ve faced, here is something to hopefully help on those darkest of nights’ I thought it was from Luna, but she had no idea how it got there. I realized it must have been Celestia trying to be all sneaky after that.

“Of course the flask helped. It helped a lot. It was like, whenever I drank it, I was given an answer to my problem. It didn’t always make sense. Like, how would giving a chocolate shake to Pinkie when she’s mad because Applejack kicked a hole in her wall help? I didn’t know but I did that and Pinkie calmed right down and they fixed the hole in the wall together. That flask had answers in it. I know it must have been some kind of magical item, there to fix all my problems…”

Twilight bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. “Of course… I was wrong. I was so freaking wrong. It might have given me answers. But I stopped thinking for myself. I just relied on it and on the booze in general to help me decide things. The harder things got, the more I drank. I… I can’t believe I actually got so shameless, so destroyed, so… evil that I used dark magic on my friends whenever things didn’t go the way I wanted them too.”

Twilight wrapped a leg over Cozy’s shoulder and drew her in a bit closer. “The worst part is… that it wasn’t the flask to blame. Nor the alcohol. It was me. I did those things. I don’t deserve friendship, a second chance, princesshood, or… you. If you… If you don’t want to be my friend anymore I’ll understand.”

For a long moment Twilight waited in silence, fearing Cozy’s response. When it didn’t come Twilight looked down at her friend and saw that Cozy’s eyes were shut and she was actually starting too droll onto Twilight’s shoulder. The mare had fallen asleep. Guess she wasn’t as used to late nights like this. However, Twilight was. So she just sat here, holding her friend up to make sure she didn’t fall over, and watched the moon as it sunk behind her to slowly be replaced by the dawn’s oppressive glow.

Even if Cozy didn’t hear a word she said, somehow… Twilight just felt, lighter.