In the early afternoon, Sara paced in the CMC's clubhouse. She'd been there often when her father had brought her to Ponyville but this time was different. She had sneaked out after her parents had fallen asleep and as such hadn't been polymorphed to blend in.
Of course it was a school day so she was going to be waiting here for a while. She paced the clubhouse as and quietly hoped that she could sneak past Twilight later when she intended to go home. There was no way Twilight wouldn't let her father know she had run off if she were caught, and her father was the last person she wanted to talk to right now.
She had lost track of time when she heard voices coming her way, but still couldn't tell just who they were right away. Whoever they were they were getting closer though so she had to do something. Sara quickly moved towards the corner so the opening door would hide her as they walked in. Just in case it wasn't who she hoped they were.
She watched as the three young ponies ran in laughing with each other. She honestly didn't know what she was expecting, they were the only ones who would just walk in here. She was grateful to see them, she didn't have many friends at her own school and it was hard trying to figure out who her friends really were. Since her dad was king she was constantly dealing with people who were only interested in her title. Not that being princess meant anything other than work and trouble. She was always learning about politics and would have to attend terribly boring events that she couldn't get away from. She couldn't even go around the Citadel without a security escort, despite now being stronger than any of them.
Apple Bloom turned around to talk to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo and jumped in surprise when she saw Sara crouching in the corner. “Sara.” Apple Bloom gasped as she calmed down. “You scared the applesauce out of me.”
“Sorry about that.” Sara said as she stood up and looked at the three.
“We haven't seen you in, like … forever.” Sweetie Belle said as she walked over to the girl.
“What's been goin' on?” Apple Bloom asked with a smile.
Sara looked down at them, she hadn't realized just how much taller she had grown recently. “Oh … not much.” She tried to smile, but just couldn't.
“What's wrong?” Sweetie Belle asked as she walked over to her friend.
“I … I don't know.” Sara admitted uncomfortably as she ran her fingers through her hair.
“What do you mean you don't know?” Scootaloo asked, taking a step closer.
“I just don't know.” She said as tears welled up in her dark blue eyes. “I don't know why I feel so miserable. It's like there's something wrong with me!” It was all she could do to keep from breaking down into tears right then and there, something she found herself doing more and more often. And hating it, and herself, each time she did.
“It's okay.” Scootaloo said as she put her hoof on Sara's arm. “We'll help you out.”
“Yeah. 'Cause that's what friends do.” Apple Bloom said with a wide smile.
“Thanks.” Sara said as a couple hot tears rolled down her cheek. She knew she should be glad for their help, but she didn't feel any better at all.
“Well, when did you first start feeling sad?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I don't remember.” Sara said as she shook her head.
“Okay … When was the last time you were happy?” Sweetie Belle expected to hear Sara say something along the line of this morning, or even yesterday.
“I don't remember. It was more than a year ago.” Sara admitted, though saying it out loud only made her feel worse. As if she were a horrible person just for not being happy.
“Wait. You haven't been happy in over a year? At all?” Apple Bloom asked. She couldn't understand how anyone could not be happy for a few days, let alone more than a year!
“Not even on your birthday?” Scootaloo asked, astonished.
“Some days are better than others, but it's not like I'm happy. It's like … I don't know. Like I want to be happy, but I just can't be.” Sara tired to explain.
Sweetie Belle's eyes went wide at the revelation. “Not even when you're having fun?”
Sara shook her head. Even when she was smiling there was some part of her keeping her sad. Some part of her that just felt she was pretending. “I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I'm supposed to be happy … aren't I?” She quietly said.
“Don't worry, we'll help you.” Scootaloo said.
“Thanks.” Sara said as she wiped the tears from her face and smiled a little bit.
“Ooh. I know. Let's go see Pinkie Pie! She's really good at making ponies happy!” Apple Bloom suggested.
“No!” Sara was quick to say. Pinkie was a friend of her father's and she didn't want anyone knowing about this. She had even held off on talking to the CMCs because she felt that she needed to keep this a secret. But she couldn't just keep it to herself any longer.
“Why not?”Scootaloo was surprised at Sara's reaction. If she wanted to be happy why would she not want to see Pinkie?
“She might tell my dad … and he doesn't know I'm here.” Sara said uncomfortably. “Can we just keep this between us?”
“Oh.” Scootaloo said, still not understanding.
Sweetie Belle walked forward. “Alright, well I guess we can chart out some things to try that should make you happy. What all do you like doing?”
They spent the next three hours running around, playing games and telling stories. Everything that had worked to make her happy before and some things she wanted to try. “Feeling any better?” Sweetie Belle asked as they finished another game. Sara was clearly getting tired and she hoped that they had managed to help her today.
“Better … but not happy.” Sara admitted as her smile faded. “I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am! I just … can't.” She added with a sigh. “Maybe I'll never be happy again.” While the statement made her feel worse, something about it just felt right. Like she was accepting the truth of reality. She was doomed to just see others be happy and slowly forget how it feels until there's nothing left.
“We said we'd help you and we will.” Scootaloo said firmly.
“No matter how long it takes.” Apple Bloom added.
Sara weakly nodded before looking to the three. “It's going to be morning soon and I need to get home so I can go to school.” She said before walking off. “Thanks for trying.”
“Let's try again tomorrow.” Apple Bloom called after her.
“I just don't get it.” Sweetie Belle said once the door to the clubhouse closed. “How can she have fun and be around her friends and not be happy? I always feel better when we're all together.”
“Maybe we should ask somepony.” Scootaloo suggested.
“But Sara's afraid they'll tell her dad.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Let's just not say who needs the help.” Scootaloo said.
“I guess. But who do we ask?” Sweetie Belle asked as she racked her brain.
“Twilight knows a lot of stuff, maybe we can ask her.” Apple Bloom suggested.
***
They waited long enough for Sara to get home before going to Twilight's castle themselves, she was easy enough to find as she was usually in her library. “Um, Twilight.” Apple Bloom nervously asked.
“Hi girls. What can I do for you?” Twilight happily said.
“Well, we were wondering, have you ever heard of somepony not being happy for more than a year?” Sweetie Belle cautiously asked.
“More than a year?” Twilight repeated as memories of James's talk with her came back. “Once. Why, who's having trouble being happy?”
“She asked us not to tell anypony. She's afraid her parents might find out, but we don't know what to do.” Apple Bloom explained.
“Well, I don't know if I can help that well if I don't know who they are. But I think she needs to remember she has good friends around her who are happy to help.” Twilight said. “Maybe she can talk to Starlight, she might have some good advice.”
“Thank you.” The CMCs said as they left the library. Rather than try to send Sara to Starlight they decided they should talk to her and get some advice. And as such made right for the school.
***
“Hi girls.” Starlight happily said as they walked into her office while she finished up with the last student. “Have a good day today?”
“We had fun, but there's something wrong.” Scootaloo said uncomfortably.
“What's wrong?” Starlight asked as she stopped getting ready to leave.
“Well, somepony came by to ask us for help today and we don't know how we can help her.” Scootaloo explained.
“Really? Why don't you sit down and tell me what's wrong.” She suggested, taking a seat herself. This was more work, but if the CMCs were having trouble this was definitely important.
The three fillies sat on the couch and began talking about what had happened earlier, being careful to not mention that it was Sara who had come to them for help. “Is there any way we can help her?” Apple Bloom eventually asked.
“It's not that easy, I'm afraid.” Starlight said as she thought about it. “I'm a guidance councilor not a therapist so all I can really offer is advice. But first she would have to come in so I can get to know the problem a little better. Every situation is unique and no solution works for everypony.”
“Well she's afraid if she talks to somepony her dad might find out. We thought Pinkie Pie could help her feel happy but she was terrified of the idea.” Sweetie Belle said.
“She doesn't need to worry about talking to me. With a problem like this I'll make sure that everything she talks about in here is confidential. I'll only tell somepony if it's absolutely necessary. I won't even tell anypony who it is.” Starlight said as she once again began to get her stuff.
***
Once again Sara was waiting for the CMCs in their club house when they got out of school.
“Hi Sara.” Sweetie Belle said as she walked in. “Feeling any better today?”
“Better, but still pretty bad. … I was looking forward to coming out here.” Sara said with a halfhearted smile. She was glad to have someone to talk to about this, but she felt like she was dragging them down too.
“We were thinking …” Apple Bloom uncomfortably said. “Before we try anything else. Maybe you could talk to Starlight. She knows a lot more about this than we do.”
Sara's eyes went wide at the suggestion. Starlight was the worst possible option. She was friends with both her parents and talked to them all the time. If she talked to Starlight she would be found out for sure! “I can't!” She said in a panic. “Mom and dad can't know anything about this!” She insisted.
“No, no. It's okay.” Sweetie Belle said as she stepped forward. “Starlight won't tell anypony unless she absolutely has to.”
“No. I can't talk to Starlight.” Sara said, backing towards the door. She really liked Starlight, but was certain Starlight would tell her parents right away.
“Alright.” Scootaloo calmly said. “Nopony's going to make you talk to anypony you don't want to.”
“Let's just get back to the list and see if anything helps.” Apple Bloom suggested, hoping that Sara wouldn't run off.
As Sara left later that day the CMCs were at a loss for ways they could try to help her. Even when she was having fun they could see how unhappy she was. It was truly strange to see someone enjoy themselves but still struggle to smile.
It came as a surprise when Starlight showed up at the clubhouse when she should still be in the school talking to students. “Hi girls.” She happily said as they opened the door to her knock. “I just thought I'd come by and see how things were going.” As she looked around she saw the chart filled with games, and images that implied attempting to make someone laugh or even smile. “Did she come back today?”
The CMCs looked to each other before looking back to Starlight. “Yes, we're still trying to help her but she just won't talk to you.” Sweetie Belle said.
“I see.” Starlight said as she used her magic to pick up several drawings that had been crossed out. “Did anything work?” The drawings were curious in that they looked less like a pony than the girls usually drew.
The CMCs looked down dejected and shook their heads. “It's not like she doesn't want to be happy, in fact she feels worse every time something doesn't work. I just wish we knew what to do.” Apple Bloom said.
Starlight nodded as she absorbed the information. “Alright. Will she be back tomorrow?”
Scootaloo shook her head. “No, she's trying to keep this secret and can't sneak away for a few days.”
Starlight sat a moment as she considered what they could possibly do. “Let's see. Since she won't come talk to me when she does come by I can hide outside the club house and listen. Once she leaves I'll give you advice that you can pass on to her.” Starlight suggested.
“And you still won't tell anypony?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I'll only tell somepony if I have to.” Starlight agreed.
“Seriously. Nopony at all.” Scootaloo earnestly said.
“I promise. If it's not absolutely necessary nopony will hear about it from me.” Starlight said.
The CMCs all knew that the chart was going nowhere. This wasn't the sort of problem they were used to handling. They needed her help. Sara needed her help. Starlight could see the disappointment on their faces as they agreed to the plan.
“I know this doesn't seem right, but sometimes ponies need help they're too afraid to get. So we have to rely on ways they don't expect. Like when you helped Rainbow Dash with her Wonder Bolts History exam.” Starlight explained, relating the only example she could think of from the Friendship Journal.
“But you also have to promise us something.” Scootaloo said.
“What?” Starlight asked.
“Don't be surprised when you see her.” Scootaloo insisted.
“Unless it's Pinkie Pie I don't think I'll be surprised.” Starlight laughed. “Let me know when they're going to be back, alright.” She added as she left the clubhouse.
***
Twilight lay on her couch reading as usual, but this time it wasn’t a book in front of her, rather she was reading from a tablet that James had given her with access to the Grand Archive. Normally she would be reading to unwind after a hard day, but today was different. She was so engrossed in her research that she never even noticed Starlight walking in.
“Unfortunately whoever it was had left by the time I showed up.” Starlight said as she approached Twilight.
“Yeah.” Twilight absently acknowledged.
Starlight stared blankly at Twilight for a moment. “Celestia is wondering why you haven't been in your school for three days.” She dryly said.
“That's nice.” Twilight responded.
“Twilight!” Starlight said firmly, finally getting her attention.
“What?! Oh, hi. So did you meet the pony that the CMCs were asking about yesterday?” Twilight asked as she got up from the couch.
“She had already gone by the time I had gotten there.” Starlight said. “Any luck in your research?”
“No. I don't know anything about who we're trying to help so I can't exactly pin it down. Then I got distracted by this.” Twilight said as she attempted to raise the tablet only to throw it in the air. While she had been making great strides in improving her control of her enhanced magic it was still proving more difficult than getting used to alicorn magic had been.
Starlight easily caught the Tablet and looked at the screen. “Are these other problems it might be?”
“Those are the one's she'd need medication for. Problems that therapy and support just wouldn't be enough to help.” Twilight said, her tone unmistakably worried.
“Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's just look at the problem as it comes, if we can't get her help traditionally then we can start looking into other options.” Starlight said as she closed the book on the tablet. “If you start looking into all the problems of the universe you'll drive yourself crazy and probably miss the real problem. There's a filly here asking for help, not to be analyzed. Let's focus on that for now.”
Twilight sighed. “I know, but why would she avoid us? Why would we tell her parents? How would we know her parents?”
“She's scared for herself and doesn't know why she's feeling bad. Once we help her and understand the problem better we can start asking why she's afraid of her parents knowing.” Starlight calmly stated.
Twilight nodded, she couldn't push the thought from her mind but she also knew that stressing out over it wouldn't help anyone. “But who is it? Didn't the CMCs tell you anything about her?” Twilight asked as her fears forced their way through to the front of her mind.
“They did ask that I not be surprised by who it was.” Starlight calmly answered. “So I guess it has to be somepony we both know and wouldn't expect.
“I think we can safely rule out Pinkie Pie” Twilight said with a slight grin.
“Yeah, she was pretty happy just this morning. Also, have you heard her uvidophone practice lately? She's getting pretty good now.” Starlight said as she sat down.
“That's great to hear. She's been pretty quiet about it lately and …”
***
Sara was relieved when her father's magic theory class came and went without any confrontation. Clearly she had managed to find an effective way to sneak past Twilight. Still, she couldn't help but feel a little ignored as Twilight hadn't caught her sneaking through the castle. She knew it was irrational, but somewhere she couldn't help but feel that she was only getting away with this because nobody cared.
Sara closed her eyes for a moment and got ready for another night/day spent with the CMCs. She repeated to herself that today was going to be fun and that she was going to be happy to spend time with her friends. Just as she was about to knock on the door Sweetie Belle opened it.
“Doing any better today?” Apple Bloom asked as Sara walked in.
Sara just shook her head, the weekend had been pretty rough for her. Her dad was unusually tough on them for their training and she snapped at him in her frustration. She hated it when his eyes went cold. She could always see when he was angry, even when his face was even. And he seemed to be angry a lot, especially at her.
“We've got to find something eventually.” Scootaloo said optimistically.
“But today, instead of the chart, let's see if we can figure out what's wrong.” Sweetie Belle suggested.
It's not like Sara had any better ideas so with a nod she waited for their questions.
***
Starlight's mouth hung open, the entire time she had thought that it was going to be a pony who had come to the CMCs for help. But Sara was another matter all together. This was the daughter of two of her friends! She was still going to help, but she had to take a more involved approach to this. She would just have to apologize to the CMCs later.
Apple Bloom shouted in surprise as Starlight walked into the clubhouse.
“Sara.” Starlight calmly said, sending a chill down Sara's spine. “I think we should talk.”
This was bad! Sara had to get out now! She didn't even look as she barreled through Starlight and the door. She needed to get home before Starlight could tell her dad that she had sneaked out. She could barely even keep herself upright as she flailed to move forward, running whenever her legs were beneath her or digging her fingers into the ground as she propelled herself back up when she fell. Forgetting all of her training to control her strength.
Starlight took a shallow breath as she pulled herself away from the apple tree nearby, there was no way she could move her left foreleg and her back was in agony, but she had to catch Sara. She had come to get help and Starlight wouldn't let her go without that help. She didn't have to think about where the girl was fleeing, there was only one place Sara could reasonably go, she had to be running for home.
Starlight was in no condition to pursue her, but maybe Twilight could. She didn't even hear the CMCs calling out their apologies to both her and Sara as she focused and vanished in a burst of light and magic.
***
The pain was piercing as she appeared in the middle of Twilight's class and she yelped as she touched down.
“Oh my gosh! Starlight! What happened?!” Twilight asked in a panic while the students gasped at her sudden appearance.
“It's Sara! She's panicked and running home. We can't let her hide from this!” Starlight gasped, trying to get as much important information out with as little agonized effort as she could.
“I have …” Twilight started to say.
“There's no time! If she get's home she's going to hide and she needs our help!” Starlight shouted as best she could. Her ribs hurt even worse than her back as she did.
“Go on Headmare. We'll take care of things here.” Gallus said as he flew over to Starlight to offer her support.
Twilight looked around her class as they encouraged her to go. Ultimately deciding that this was more important than a lesson they could study on their own.
“Ocellus, get Fluttershy.” Twilight said before her golden eyes flashed and she vanished.
Gallus put his wing underneath Starlight to support her. She allowed her weight to fall onto him with a grunt of pain. She was glad that the griffon was there and ready to help her. Her hind legs were growing more and more numb as she began to register what had just happened.
Gallus knew he had to keep her supported, he'd need help to move her though. There was no way the nurse could treat her here. He pushed his own worries from his mind, like the metallic smell that was even now beginning to permeate the classroom.
“Thanks Gallus.” Starlight whispered as her eyes closed.
She was barely breathing.
***
Twilight appeared in the hallway by the door to New Guardia, Sara had to come through here to get home. Twilight didn't have to wait long, but she wasn't prepared to hear her front door shatter as Sara broke through. Twilight closed her eyes and focused as James had taught her. The seconds seemed to stretch on, not knowing if Sara would slow down for her. She hadn't for Starlight.
Eventually she felt Sara coming her direction astonishingly fast and reacted with her magic to create a bubble around Sara's energy. It stopped advancing and she altered her focus to raising the energy off the ground.
Twilight opened her eyes and walked towards Sara. Even from here she could hear crying and screaming as Sara tried to escape the magical bubble. Twilight was having trouble holding her, but she couldn't let Sara hide when she needed help. She cared about the girl and wanted to know what was wrong, even if ultimately she couldn't help.
Twilight could easily see the path Sara had taken as she had left gouges in the crystal floors as she ran. There were even several long gashes where her fingers had dug into the stone. Twilight's heart skipped a beat at the realization of the sheer strength of the teen.
***
Ocellus hurried back into the classroom with Fluttershy in tow.
Fluttershy gasped as she saw Starlight laying barely conscious on Gallus' wing. The smell of blood was obvious from the doorway and she could see the matted, discolored fur where she was injured.
“Ocellus, please help Gallus.” Fluttershy's mind worked frantically, there was no time to panic. There was a nurse's office here but this was more serious than anything they were equipped for. “Okay everycreature.” She quietly announced. “We need to get to James's class room. Will somepony hurry on ahead and get the nurse to meet us there? Tell her to bring a first aid kit.”
A unicorn cautiously raised his hoof and spoke up. “Shouldn't we get her to the nurses office instead?”
“James keeps magical items in his classroom that will help her right now. We need to hurry.” Fluttershy was too scared to worry, she had to get Starlight help and she knew right were it was. Everything else was secondary at the moment.
Ocellus changed her form to a bugbear and gently cradled Starlight in her many arms as she followed her favorite teacher to the often empty classroom.
The nurse hesitated as she saw the creature coming her way before she realized it was one of the students and moved to allow them entrance. “What happened?” The nurse asked as Fluttershy ushered everyone into the classroom.
“I don't know. Can you please clean her wounds?” Fluttershy asked as she opened the closet against the wall.
Ocellus gently placed Starlight on James's desk as the nurse approached, pulling a small box from her saddlebag. The class sat wherever they could in the empty classroom as they watched the nurse work.
Fluttershy, in the mean time, had collected a small brown bag from the closet in her mouth and used her wings to open it. No one noticed as she reached her entire leg into the bag that should be far too small to accommodate.
“She needs a hospital.” The nurse said as she finished cleaning the injuries and doing her best to tend to her injuries. “I think her ribs are broken, and her foreleg definitely is. There could be even more serious injuries that I can't see right now. But the bleeding only looked worse than it was, thankfully.”
“That's okay.” Fluttershy said. “I found what I was looking for. Thank you for your help.” She was indeed glad for the help as she had no idea what would happen if Starlight had a wound heal around a stick or something like that. As she walked forward she held a small green bean in her hoof and got close to Starlight. “I've got a Senzu here for you Starlight.” Fluttershy gently said, bringing it up to Starlight's face.
Her eyes opened slightly and her horn lit up, and could only bring herself to bite the bean once before swallowing. But that was enough as her bones moved back to their propper positions and fused together. Starlight's breathing was much more comfortably as she sat up on the edge of James's desk. “I am so glad James keeps an emergency bag here now.” She said with a smile. “Thank you, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy smiled at Starlight as she thanked her. “I think you said you needed to help somepony?”
Starlight nodded and jumped down from the desk before looking to the gathered class. “I'm sorry to interrupt. We're trying to help a friend of ours and there was an accident. Unfortunately my office will be closed through the end of the day.”
***
The CMCs were running as fast as they could, following Sara was easy enough but keeping up was impossible. Their terror only increased when they saw the rubble that had been Twilight’s front doors. Had Sara really done this? Was she just sad, or was she angry now? Had they made her that angry? Things only got worse as they heard the screaming and crying, especially as it was getting louder.
“Let me go!” They could hear Sara shouting before sobbing again. “I have to go home!” She tried moments later.
The CMCs watched astonished as the magical violet and gold bubble holding Sara aloft came into view while Twilight walked towards the stairs with a solemn expression on her face.
“Let me go! I hate you!” Sara continued to shout.
Twilight closed her eyes for a moment. She knew Sara was just lashing out, she had done as much herself far more than she cared to admit. How many of her own friends had been subjected to that baseless rage? Twilight reminded herself that she was the adult here and needed to behave like one. She couldn't think of a response though and just quietly walked towards the shattered doors. She would take Sara to the school and try to have a talk with her.
The CMCs couldn't believe what they were seeing or hearing. Could Sara really be saying this? How bad were things to make her act like this. Sara's screaming once again devolved into unintelligible sobbing and gasping.
“It'll be okay girls.” Starlight calmly said as she walked in behind them, seemingly unperturbed at the onslaught the teenager was throwing at them. “Sara!” Starlight said firmly as she approached the magical ball holding the girl. “I know that you're upset and you're hurt, but we can help you. Please just let us.”
Sara had curled into a ball, her hands on the back of her head and arms against her ears as she tried to drown out the world. She was still sobbing, but she could hear Starlight. How could she hope to help, she didn't understand. None of the ponies did, it's not like any of them ever felt like this. She was stupid to come here hoping for some kind of help. Somewhere she had hoped that eternal optimism and happiness would rub off on her if she kept coming by but it wasn't. Not that it mattered, they knew and soon her dad would know too. He hated her anyway, but now he'd be angry too.
She'd even managed to screw up asking for help. How could she ever hope to do anything right is she couldn't even ask for help?
Starlight looked to the crying girl and couldn't help but feel guilt: She had done this to her instead of giving her the help she needed. “Please put her down Twilight.” Starlight calmly requested.
Twilight gently lowered Sara to the ground, Sara didn't even try to move as the magical field dissipated. Starlight calmly approached, getting down on the floor with her and hugging her as best she could from her angle. “I know you might not believe this right now but I'm here for you, and I'm not giving up. No matter what you say or do.” Starlight calmly said, fighting back her own tears. “You came here asking for help, and that's just what you're getting.”
“You're going to tell dad, and he's going to get angry.” Sara said, neither believing Starlight nor uncurling.
“Why would he get angry?” Starlight asked. She didn't plan on telling James but this could give her a hint about what's wrong.
“He hates me, of course he'll get angry.” Sara countered.
“He doesn't hate you, he …” Starlight managed to say before Sara interrupted.
“Yes he does! He hates me!” Sara shouted, not willing to hear any argument against it.
“Do you really want to know what he thinks?” Starlight asked.
“I do know!” Sara insisted.
“I know quite a few ponies who wouldn't believe that for a second.” Starlight calmly answered.
“They're lying!” Sara insisted.
“Applejack wouldn't.” Apple Bloom insisted.
“And you're our friend, we wouldn't lie to you either.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Uh huh.” Scootaloo agreed.
“And so are Starlight and I.” Twilight said as she approached the girl. Sara finally uncovered her head and began to look to the ponies she was surrounded by. They were all making a sincere effort to make her feel better. This felt so wrong. Why do they care?
How could she do this to them when they did care about her?
“Let's find somewhere we can talk. If I'm going to try to help you I need to hear what's wrong.” Starlight gently suggested.
“Please don't tell my parents.” Sara quietly said.
“Only if I have to.” Starlight assured.
***
That evening Starlight had taken Twilight's position on the couch in the library, reading the same book on the tablet, turned to the same chapter.
Twilight slowly walked in and flopped into her comfortable chair. Magically repairing all the damage Sara did in her frantic rush, while not draining, had taken quite a while. “Phew.” She sighed. “She's a lot stronger than I thought. I finally got it cleaned up, but there's no way we'll be able to keep her problems secret from everypony. This will make it's way back to James whether we intend it to or not.”
“Uh huh.” Starlight idly said, not taking her eyes away from the tablet.
Twilight used her magic to lightly toss a throw pillow at her.
Starlight looked up and around as the pillow hit her. “Oh, hi Twilight.” She said putting the tablet down.
“Any luck finding out the problem?” Twilight asked.
“The problem is that there isn't really a problem. She just doesn't feel happy anymore and when she thinks about it it gets worse. The real clue was that she feels bad before there's a reason. That sounds a lot like some of these conditions. But I'm not a therapist.” Starlight sighed as she put down the tablet. “… I think we have to tell James and Lucca.”
Twilight nodded. She knew it would get to them eventually, they needed to get in front of this problem. “There's no way we could keep this secret from them anyway. A lot of ponies saw Sara running to the castle, it won't take long for the news to reach him, especially when he shows up to do his class Friday.”
Starlight realized it was her fault that they couldn't keep it a secret now and all she could do is mitigate the damage. Her eyes went wide as she turned to Twilight. “What about Rainbow Dash?”
Twilight nodded. “Scootaloo filled her in. She's not going to say anything for now.”
Starlight shook her head. “I'll tell Sara tomorrow so it's not a surprise like today was. All three of them at least need to be here. James especially, this isn't going to be easy for him.”
“It's not going to be easy for any of them.” Twilight said. She understood that James would be upset, but how would this be worse for him than for Lucca? Especially, how would it be worse than it already was for Sara?
“Yes, but according to this book it could be a chemical imbalance that she inherited from him. He's going to blame himself for this.” Starlight said as she held the tablet out to Twilight.
“His problem is genetic?” Twilight asked as she reviewed the section Starlight had on the screen.
“He didn't tell you that?” Starlight was surprised, she was sure James had talked to Twilight before about his depression. “Well, it was Lucca who told me. The good news, though, is that they have the technology to correct the imbalance that causes it. Not just treat it with medication. She'll still need therapy though, and ponies who care about her …” As Starlight spoke she realized that she did know one way to help Sara feel better, maybe not happy yet, but better. “Hmm…”
***
Sara sat in Starlight's office that evening just over a week after the incident, doing her best to meditate and focus on anything but the impending doom as her parents came to meet with Starlight. She felt dizzy, sick, and lightheaded as she fought off her panic.
“It'll be alright.” Starlight reassured her. She had asked James to meet her in her office that evening with Lucca, and to not change their forms. It was important that Sara clearly see that her parents would support her. The door opened and Sara's eyes went wide and she sunk down into Starlight's couch. She knew they were there and wished more than anything that she could just dissolve away that very moment.
“Sara?” James asked as he walked in. “Shouldn't you be in school?”
“What's going on?” Lucca asked as she took a seat on the couch next to Sara, who refused to look at her. James stood behind her, unable to see his daughter's paling complexion.
Starlight nodded as they looked to her. “I actually talked with Sara's teachers the other day. She's been excused from her classes for today.”
“O-o-okay?” James said, not knowing why Starlight would pull her from school. Or how. They would have to have gotten permission from one of her immediate family before releasing her.
Sara stayed silent as she heard her father speaking. She was certain that he was getting angry at her for missing school.
“She's been coming here in secret for a little while now. She came to ask for help … she still needs that help.” Starlight explained.
James's expression fell as he looked down at his oldest daughter. “What's wrong? Is there anything I can do? … Please.”
Lucca rubbed Sara's back as she looked to Starlight. She needed to know more.
“Well,” Starlight said. “she should probably see a therapist. I think she's struggling with depression, but I can't make that call.”
James's heart fell at the news, his daughter was stuck with his demons. Like so many other things, this was his fault. Even if it wasn't genetic he was clearly messing up somehow if she was dealing with this.
Lucca wrapped Sara in her arms as she heard the news. This wasn't as bad as things could be, thankfully she looked for help and didn't hide it like her father always had. Maybe if they got her help soon enough she wouldn't live hating herself. Fortunately it looked like she would actually accept help, unlike her father.
Starlight smiled as she looked to the three of them. “Sara, you're not alone. Your family and friends love you, and if you need to talk to someone who knows how you feel. Your dad has dealt with this for longer than any of us have even been alive. … And I didn't just ask your parents to be here today, let's go to the castle. I’ve arranged a bit of a surprise.” Starlight said standing up.
James held onto Sara tightly once she stood up, he knew this had to be hard for her. If she couldn't talk to them having someone else bring them in had to feel horrible.
Starlight knew James well enough to guess that he would forgo the door if he wasn't changing his form and planned around that to invite some of James's own local support network to offer Sara their help. Whether he or they realized they helped him with his own depression didn’t matter, they did and that’s what was important.
The doors to Twilight's castle opened and they found that the foyer was filled with ponies. James smiled as he watched Rainbow Dash and her parents rush over and hug Sara. He knew Rainbow Dash’s parents cared about her as fully as they seemed to care for anyone close to their daughter. Though he knew they also thought of themselves as grandparents to her, and that neither he nor Rainbow Dash could dissuade them of that even if they had ever tried.
“You were worried that your dad didn't like you.” Starlight said calmly.
James grimaced at the statement, it actually hurt him to hear. He had no idea how to be a good father and just tried to give her the room she seemed to want from him.
“But James talks to all these ponies about you, how much he loves you and Amber and how he just wants you to be happy. Even if it means leaving you alone.” Starlight explained.
“We'll figure this out.” James quietly said. “You deserve to be happy.”
Sara couldn't tell how she felt right now, everything was so confusing. All she could do was cry while Rainbow Dash, Windy, and Bow held her tightly. At least she knew that she was cared for and loved, even if she didn't understand why.
***
The door hinge let out it's familiar light squeak as it swung open. Starlight had to grin as she thought about all the times that James had promised to fix the squeak yet nothing had been done about it yet. Honestly, at this point she didn't want it fixed. Ever since James had nearly left them all for fear of what he might do, the squeak reminded her that ultimately he had stayed. And he wasn't going anywhere.
The early morning sun shone through the windows along the hallway as Starlight walked towards her destination. Of course the rooms all faced away from the morning sun. Perfect for the family of night-owls. She herself would be staying up late today with the time differential between their worlds.
She was good friends with James and his wife Lucca, and got along well with their daughters Sara and Amber. But with Sara's recent issues with depression and only recently starting therapy Starlight wanted to take a more active role in the girl's life.
As she reached the teenager's room she opened the door and pranced in while singing. “Knock knock!”
Sara's response was to bundle her blanket around her and roll away from the door with a moan.
“It's a great day outside.” Starlight said cheerfully.
“Mh-hm.” Sara mumbled, not making any other effort to acknowledge her early morning visitor.
“I've got a whole day of fun planned. Just the two of us.” Starlight said temptingly.
“Mh-hm.” Sara responded, not tempted at all by the offer.
“Starting with breakfast and coffee.” Starlight said bluntly.
At this Sara sat up and turned to her guest. “Alright, give me a minute.”
Starlight grinned. Sara was just like her father. She walked out of the room to give the girl some space.
Ten minutes later, however, Starlight felt she needed to check in. Slowly, she opened the door and stepped in. “Sara? Is everything okay?”
Sara was once again laying down, facing away from the door. Or maybe she's more like her uncle like James said. Starlight thought with a sigh. “Come on.” She said as a light blue magical aura surrounded the blanket before pulling it away.
Sara groaned as she curled up in a ball. Starlight could see that she had at least changed into her day clothes, that or she had never changed out of her clothes from the day prior. Either was certainly possible.
Eventually Sara rolled onto her back and sat up, looking to Starlight. “Alright, I'm up.”
“You're still in bed.” Starlight countered.
“Still getting coffee, right?” Sara asked. Starlight nodded as she smirked. “Okay.”
***
Even as they walked through the forest that separated New Guardia Castle from Truce, Sara looked as though she were half asleep. In Truce the two walked to the Golden Leaf Diner. A small diner run by a friendly elven woman. In front was a large window that was kept open in fair weather that looked out over a small garden. The owner prided herself on her fresh ingredients and would use the garden for most of her herbs and spices.
They quickly found a booth where they were met by a server who took their drink orders before leaving them with menus, returning after a moment with Starlight's tea and Sara's large coffee. Sara was definitely her father's daughter.
Sara quietly poured sugar and cream into the coffee, turning it from almost black to a light chocolate color. Once prepared, Sara took two large gulps and sighed.
“Feeling better?” Starlight asked with a chuckle.
“Yeah.” Sara answered with her father's half smile.
“So, how've you been lately?” Starlight asked less casually.
“I'm alright.” Sara answered just a little to easily.
“Yeah, your dad says that all the time. We both know that's not the whole truth.” Starlight flatly replied.
Sara sighed. Was this what she could expect from now on? People constantly asking her how she was feeling? “Really, I'm alright. Thanks to Mrs. Washu my problem's under control, and Ms. T'shar seems like a nice person. It's too soon to know how she'll do as a therapist, but dad said that everyone spoke well of her.”
“That's good to know.” Starlight calmly said. “We were all really worried about you.”
“Thanks.” Sara said.
Being a counselor Starlight had heard a lot of disingenuous “thanks” before. “Sara, we all care about you. And you were pretty insistent that even your dad, who loves you as much as he loves anyone, hated you.”
Sara stared down into her coffee. “It really felt like it too. Even if I knew it wasn't.”
Starlight put her hoof on Sara's hand. “I understand that it can be hard. I don't know what it's like myself, but you and your father are teaching me.”
Sara was quiet for a while as she thought. Eventually she spoke up. “I know this is going to sound weird but … you're friends with both my parents and you visit all the time …” Sara went quiet again for a while, never lifting her gaze from her coffee. “Would you be alright with me calling you … “Aunt”.” Sara never looked to Starlight as she asked the question, expecting that she would be weirded out by the suggestion.
Starlight smiled and she could feel her heart beating. This was strange, but even the question made her happier than she could have guessed. “Of course you can.”