Her Diamonds

by flyingcloudcakes

Advice!!! (starring Fluttershy)

Spike dreamed he was an enormous purple-and-green dragon, guarding a hoard of glittering diamonds as a song by Rob Thomas echoed around his dark cave. Knights in shining armor kept challenging him, trying to trick him into giving up his vigil of the jewels. He merely laughed at them; he would never give up his diamonds.

He tried not to take this as a metaphor, and failed.

He’d loved Rarity for so long, and now he finally had her, at least when they were alone. He understood why they could never be a real couple—Rarity’s career was important to her, and she was important to him. If anyone found out they had feelings for each other, their faces would be plastered across the tabloids faster than he could say ‘scandal.’

I need to talk to someone, he thought, pulling on his purple converse, for which Scootaloo had teased him relentlessly last year. (He’d told her exactly where she could put her scooter, but she hadn’t been very pleased with the idea.)

He thought of who he could turn to now. His closest friends, the Crusaders, were out of the question—Scootaloo would tell him he was an egghead (a phrase she’d gotten from her idol, Rainbow Dash), Apple Bloom would press for more details than he was comfortable revealing, and Sweetie Belle was Rarity’s sister.

Twilight wouldn’t be of much help, either. He’d probably just shock her (maybe she’d even have a conniption, he thought with glee), and she would tell him it was a terrible idea to date Rarity. He didn’t much want to have that conversation with her, anyhow.

Who did he know who would listen to him carefully, would keep his secrets in confidence, would understand his love without judgment? Who was sweet, and caring, and treated every creature equally?

Spike grabbed his hoodie from the hook near the door and called into the kitchen. “Hey, Twilight, I’m going to visit a friend, okay?”

Twilight Sparkle appeared in the doorway, looking skeptical. (She always looked a bit skeptical, but this was different from her natural, general skepticism about the world and the way it supposedly worked. This was more like... well, suspicion.) “What friend?”

Spike glared at her, one hand on the doorknob. (He couldn’t leave, not yet. This had been going on for far too long, and they were going to settle it now.) “Does it matter what friend? I’m still allowed to have those, aren’t I? Or do you want me to become a hermit, and stay in our bedroom the rest of my life?”

“If it would stop you getting into trouble, maybe!” She snapped back.

“Why don’t you trust me anymore, Twilight?” He sucked in a breath to fight back the flood of tears that was threatening to spill forth. “I’ve been so nice to everyone! When you and your stupid friends teased me, I just stood there and took it! When I was helping Rarity, I didn’t even let my hand touch hers for more than a second, because I didn’t want to stretch my boundaries! And the other night, she asked me to stay with her, and I said no! I said no.”

He was full out yelling now, his eyes wet and a tight, pained feeling in his chest.

Twilight stared at him, shocked. “Spike, I don't—“

“So what the hell more do you want from me, huh, Twi? Look, surprise!” He snarled. “I have feelings. And you’ve been screwing with them from the very beginning. Well, I’m done listening to your stupid rules, okay? I’m going to live my own life the way I want to. I love Rarity, and nothing you can say will change that.”

He opened the door. “I’m going to visit Fluttershy.” He slammed it shut behind him, leaving his mentor standing in the front hallway of their house, gaping at the door like a fish out of water.

Outside, he stopped to catch his breath, bracing his hands against his knees and feeling a strange mixture of relief and guilt (not to mention a little leftover fury). He’d let it all out, finally. So why did he still feel as though he’d done something wrong?

Fluttershy opened her door on the second knock, as though she’d been expecting someone else.

She stood there in her yellow sweater for a moment, her one visible eye wide with surprise, before her expression melted into a tiny, gentle smile. “Hi, Spike.” She said, her voice as soft-spoken and kind as always. “Are you here about the bird?”

Spike blinked at her. “What bird?”

“This is Henrietta.” Fluttershy said of the dove that perched on her hand. Henrietta ruffled the feathers on her one good wing, the other being moved gingerly to accomedate. “She broke her wing last week, and I just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her out in the cold like that.”

Spike did not point out that it didn’t get very cold outside, this being almost spring and all; Fluttershy wouldn’t have listened anyway. “Can she fly at all?”

Fluttershy shook her head slightly, her bubblegum-pink hair falling into her field of vision. “No, not yet. She’s still healing.” She bit her lip. “I wish I could fly...” She murmured wistfully. “Don’t you?”

“All the time.” Spike said, giving her a smile. He reached out a finger and stroked Henrietta’s soft head. She pushed up against his hand and cooed, her beady black eyes shining.

“She likes you.” Fluttershy said, setting Henrietta down gently on the windowsill. (Fluttershy didn’t believe in birdcages, or any cages, really, which is why, if you valued your shoes, and/or didn’t care to have the occasional kicked puppy on your conscience, you always had to tread carefully in her house.)

“Would you like some iced tea?” Fluttershy asked, straightening and brushing her hands on her jeans. “I got the lemons this morning.”

“Sure,” Spike said, following her into the kitchen. (It had bright yellow tiles in between the white ones, set up like a game of checkers; white, yellow, white... Yellow was such a happy color. A little too happy, thought Spike.) He sat down at the table, pushing aside several volumes of The Content Weevil Watcher’s Guide and a few tufts of snowy white fur.

Fluttershy handed him a glass and sat down across from him. “So you said there was something you wanted to talk about? I mean, i-if you want to!” She stammered. “I don’t mean to pry.”

“No, no, that’s okay.” Spike assured her. “I wanted to talk to you about... relationships. Um, can you keep a secret?”

“Oh.” Fluttershy said, taken by surprise for the second time that day. “Of course I can.”

“You have to promise not to tell anyone.” He had to have her word; at this point, he couldn’t risk not being sure.

She nodded.

“Um.” Spike twisted the bottom of his sweatshirt in his fingers, a nervous habit that had cost him a few repairs over the years. (It figures his way of coping with stress would be one that eventually sends him to a tailor—or, in this case, a designer.) “I... sort of... have this... well, I don’t know what to call us.”

“A girlfriend? A boyfriend?” Fluttershy asked softly, hands cradling her glass of iced tea. (All at once Spike knew he’d come to the right place. She was so gentle with everything; even a simple inanimate object was treated with the utmost care in Fluttershy’s house, and he admired her for it.)

He shrugged, reaching out to trace one finger down the lines of condensation on his own glass. “I don’t know, she doesn’t want to put labels on it—she can’t, really. What I mean is, it’s, like, sort of... an us-only thing? She doesn’t want to tell anyone else.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Does that bother you?”

Spike blinked. “Um, I hadn’t really thought about it, I guess. I mean, it sort of bothers me. I... I love her, you know? I want to be able to show it.”

The pink-haired girl bit her lip and then nodded. “That’s understandable, of course. But if she’s not comfortable being open about it, you have to respect her feelings. If you can’t... well, I do hope you don’t mind my saying this, Spike, I don’t mean to offend, but if you can’t do that, than maybe she’s not the right person for you to be with.”

Immediately, Spike fiercely thought, of course she’s the right person for me to be with! She’s Rarity and I love her and I wouldn’t have it any other way and I’m not giving her up now, I can't, I’ve only just got her to myself, and—! Oh.

“You’re absolutely right, Flutters.” He said, now with new determination and confidence. “I shouldn’t let it bother me. As long as she knows I love her, it doesn’t matter if anyone else does.”

Fluttershy smiled. “You know, Spike, I... I have a special someone, too. It’s actually a similar situation... She’s not ready to go public yet.”

She? Spike looked at her with surprise. “Fluttershy, you’re a... you know... You like girls?”

Fluttershy blushed and seemed to shrink further away from him. “Um, yes?” She squeaked, like it was a question. “Sorry?”

“What?” Spike backtracked quickly. “No, no, I just meant... That’s fine with me! Love is love.”

He thought he saw her breathe a tiny sigh of relief, but it might have just been his imagination.

Fluttershy has a girlfriend? I never would have thought! I wonder who it could be... Spike thought of all the times he had seen her sneaking glances at someone, or blushing more than usual, or going out of her way to be closer to someone. One person kept coming up: a certain fast runner, who happened to have known Fluttershy since they were young.

Then he recalled last week, in the library, when the girls had come over for lunch, when this whole thing with Rarity had really started. “Ain’t that right, Dash?” Spike remembered thinking that was weird, how Dash had gone all silent when Fluttershy had been mentioned, and then that random comment from Applejack...

“So, this girl you’re with...” Spike started, grinning from ear to ear. “Does she... like rainbows?”

Fluttershy turned an even brighter shade of scarlet and suddenly found that her shoes were very, very interesting, possibly enough to write a novel on, judging by the way her eyes were glued to them.

Spike laughed. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Flutters. Sorry I brought it up.”

“No, th-that’s okay.” Fluttershy said softly. “I’m glad I could help you with your problem.”

“Yeah.” He gave her a grateful smile. “Thanks for that. I really needed it. I—”

A snowy white bunny hopped up onto the table and wrinkled its nose at him, stopping his train of thought completely. Its ears were long and bent slightly outwards, and it had a tiny green bow around its neck.

Fluttershy giggled. “I think it’s Angel’s lunchtime. Would you mind helping me with the carrots?”

Spike shook his head. “Not at all.” He said cheerfully, peering at the bunny as Fluttershy went hunting for a cutting board.

Angel wrinkled his nose again, as though displeased at having been forgotten for so long. While you were having your little therapy session, some of us were practically starving to death! He seemed to say.

“Sorry to have hijacked your mealtime, buddy.” Spike said, wrinkling his nose right back. “But I think I got what I came for.”