Shining Armor didn’t know how long he and Thorax were inside of the kidnapping sack. It was probably less than a year, or maybe a little over half an hour; somewhere in that ballpark. It was hard to keep track of time whilst inside of a bag. Thorax had tried to help by turning into a clock, but every time he did he was set for Griffon Standard Time. That was no help at all.

As his and Thorax’s masked kidnappers carried them off to who-knows-where, Shining Armor tried to go over the facts.

Fact One: A gang of robe-wearing sewer-criminals were abducting Shining Armor, Thorax, and Blueblood. Said criminals claimed to not be involved in the princesses’ disappearance, but how much stock could you put in a kidnapper saying they hadn’t kidnapped someone?

Fact Two: Shining and Thorax were inside of a sack. That fact was pretty self-evident; Shining really didn’t need to think about it too long.

Fact Three: Shining couldn’t come up with a third fact. His mind was kind of preoccupied by the whole kidnapping thing.

It didn’t take very long for their captors to arrive at whatever destination they were taking Shining and Thorax to. Shining heard their hoofsteps come to a stop. Then, there was the sound of a key unlocking a lock. A metal door swung open on rusty hinges.

Before Shining could figure out what this all meant, he could feel the bag he and Thorax were in being moved. Shining and Thorax were both abruptly dumped out of the sack and onto a cold, metallic floor. A third thud followed as Blueblood was dumped beside them, and before Shining could fully get his bearings he heard the metal door swinging shut behind them.

Shining hurried onto his hooves and looked around. Walls of metal bars surrounded Shining, Thorax, and the other one. They were in a small cage. Outside of the cage, Shining saw the flicker of torches mounted to walls a good distance away. The gray, mossy bricks told Shining they were still in the sewers. The giant banner hanging from the ceiling told Shining that they were in ‘The Slimey Zone’.

It took Shining a moment to realize they were being watched. The robed, masked figures were surrounding the cage, looking in on their captives. Shining had no idea why he hadn’t noticed them earlier. It wasn’t like they were hiding. That was kind of weird. A real brain-fart, right there.

“Well, well, well…” The robed figure standing in front of the cage’s door said. Shining recognized the voice; this was the figure who’d seemingly been in charge earlier. “This is so… deliciously ironic. Eqeustrian royalty has landed right in our laps.”

“… How is that ironic?” He asked. “Did you not want us to land in your laps? Had you already tried to capture us and failed?”

“I…” The lead figure hesitated. Several of his comrades glanced at him in confusion. After a while, he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Don’t get clever with me, boy. You’re in far over your head.”

Behind him, Shining could hear Thorax getting back up onto his hooves. Blueblood was also conscious again, for some reason. While they put together the fact that they were indeed inside of a little cage, Shining narrowed his eyes at the masked figure that stood in front of the door.

“Where are we?” Shining asked angrily. “Why did you kidnap us? That was very rude.”

“This,” the masked figure said as he raised a hoof and gestured dramatically at the massive chamber they were in, “is an old, forgotten catacomb that was built centuries ago. When the Canterlot Sewer system was built, this room was incorporated into its design. All of the slime that builds up in the sewers flows here, where it is eaten by hungry slime-enthusiasts.

“Or, rather, that’s what this chamber used to be. Ever since eating slime fell out of fashion with ponies, this room has gone unused. Nopony comes down here anymore. No, instead, this slime-room now serves as our base of operations; our… cathedral.”

The lead figure reached a leg up and placed his hoof on the blank, white mask he wore under his robe. After a moment of hesitation, the figure gripped the mask and tore it off dramatically. As he did so, the hood of his robe fell back, and Shining could see what kind of creature his captor was.

“Gazelle,” the figure corrected. His large, pointy ears, now free of the confines of his hood, flicked irritably. “We’re gazelles.”

“That explains the horns!” Thorax exclaimed, as if their horns had been some sort of big mystery. “It all makes sense now!”

“I am Raphael,” the now-unmasked gazelle said, bowing in mock politeness to his captives. “And we are the Cult of the Great Gazelle!”

One by one, the cultists surrounding the cage began to remove their masks. Sure enough, they were all gazelles, and not something else like cheetahs or giant skunks. Shining looked at all of their unfamiliar faces, and a question began to form in his mind.

“From who?” Thorax asked. “You just said that nopony ever comes down here. Are you protecting your identities from yourselves? Who are these masks supposed to hide you from?”

Once again, the cultists all looked at each other uncertainly. Frustration built on Raphael’s face as he and his group slowly began to realize that there was no reason to hide their identities if nobody ever actually saw them.

“That’s enough out of you!” Raphael snapped. “I’m asking the questions here!”

“You haven’t asked a single question since you captured us,” Shining Armor pointed out.

Raphael stammered in impotent rage. His left eye twitched and his nostrils flared. His horns didn’t really do anything. For some reason, Raphael didn’t seem to like being made to look foolish in front of his cultists.

“Look, this is serious!” Raphael snapped. “We’re a cult! You’ve been captured by a cult! Why are you not taking this seriously?”

“Eh.” Shining Armor shrugged. “Cults are no big deal. I know a mare who used to run a cult. And my sister basically started a cult when she opened up her school.”

“Oh, wow,” he said. “Check out Mr. Hot-Take Galaxy Brain over here. ‘Oh, the education system is messed up.’ We all know that already, genius. Way to speak truth to power over here.”

Shining looked around, embarrassed. Thorax and Blueblood were both actively trying not to look at him. Evidently, they agreed with Raphael about Shining’s joke not being very original. Shining Armor felt deeply ashamed about their reaction, as he always tried to keep his material fresh.

“Shut up!” Raphael snarled, grabbing onto the bars of the cage door. “Do you fools not understand what you’ve stumbled onto?! You came waltzing into our lair on the eve of our cult’s greatest triumph! The goal we’ve been working towards for over eighty-five years is finally within our reach!”

“What are you talking about?” Shining Armor asked. “Sir, please give us your motivation and backstory.”

Raphael appeared to calm down a bit. The anger gradually left his face as he took a step back and regained his composure.

“Yes,” he said with a sigh. “Alright. I have no reason to tell you anything, but I’ll do it anyway. Eighty-six years ago, my grandfather, Denzel, was a student of Gazelle History at an ancient community college. During his studies, he stumbled upon the legend of the Great Gazelle; a harbinger of mayhem and chaos that had made life really inconvenient for everyone many centuries ago. And so, he—”

“Wait.” Shining Armor held up a hoof for a moment. “Hang on; ‘harbinger of mayhem and chaos?’ Are you talking about Discord?”

“What?” Raphael did a double-take, incredulous. He looked practically offended by Shining Armor’s suggestion. “No! Of course not! They’re completely different!”

Raphael hesitated before giving an answer. His eyes darted off to the side for a second. Thorax’s question had apparently stumped him.

“No. He’s a draconequus.” Shining Armor didn’t bother looking over his shoulder when he spoke to Blueblood. He was so focused on Raphael that he wasn’t even angry at Blueblood’s idiocy.

“Pfft,” Blueblood scoffed. “Yeah. Okay. Sure. That’s a real species, alright.”

Raphael stamped one of his hooves onto the cold stone floor in a fit of rage. Then he did it again, but more softly. He got so angry that he took off his robe and then put it back on. It was deeply disturbing.

“I’ve had enough of your backtalk and jibber-jabber!” Raphael snarled. “Tonight is the night that we finally summon the Great Gazelle and bring about the end of Equestria, but you jerks aren’t taking it seriously! I was going to be nice and let you watch us do it, but now, ironically, I’m just going to leave you in your cage!”

“Too bad!” Raphael said with a laugh. “Once we summon the Great Gazelle, nothing will mean anything anymore! We’ll destroy Equestria and finally have our revenge for… for, uh…”

“I’m… actually not entirely sure why we want to destroy Equestria,” he confessed. “We’re still going to do it, though. It’s, like, my family’s whole thing—my dad was really insistent on doing it. I’ll have a lot of egg on my face if I can’t pull it off.”

The tense and awkward energy that had been building up in the Slimey Zone disappeared. It was like a balloon slowly deflating, or another thing doing something else. All eyes were on Blueblood as he stood there, eyeing Raphael suspiciously through the bars of the cage’s door.

Blueblood looked between Shining and Raphael for a moment before taking a step back sheepishly. Thorax put a comforting hoof on Blueblood’s back, unintentionally getting sewer-dirt on the stallion’s white coat. It was what he deserved.

“Well, that killed the mood,” Raphael grumbled. He gestured to the rest of the gazelles surrounding the iron cage. “Come on, guys. Let’s leave them alone with their own stupidity while we summon the Great Gazelle.”

Raphael turned and walked away from the cage, vanishing in the darkness of the Slimey Zone. His followers did the same, disappearing from sight as the sound of their hooves on the stone floor gradually faded away. Soon, Shining Armor, Thorax, and Blueblood the Awful were all alone inside of their terrible cage.

“… We need to figure out a way out of here,” Shining said once he was certain that the gazelles were gone. “This cage is really boring. They didn’t even leave any magazines for us to read.”

“I agree,” Blueblood said. “This is easily the worst kidnapping I’ve ever been a part of, and I’ve been kidnapped twice.”

Shining Armor nodded. He turned to look at Thorax, who was already beginning to crack under the pressure of living behind bars.

Thorax shrugged. “Pretty much. I can’t turn into crocodiles, though; I’m allergic.”

“Okay.” Shining rubbed his hooves together conspiratorially. “I have an idea. What if you turned into a locksmith? If you did that, I could pay you to unlock the cage door. Then we could escape by walking out of the door, thus leaving the cage.”

Thorax rubbed his chin. “Hmm… It’s not a bad idea. But don’t locksmiths need special tools to do their job?”

“We have a special tool in here with us,” Shining said. “It’s called Blueblood.”

All three of the creatures inside the cage shared a good laugh over that fairly clever burn that Shining had just dished out. It was important to have fun, even in dire situations like these. They laughed for some time, coming close to tears, before eventually sighing contentedly and smiling amongst themselves.

“Okay, okay. I’ll go to work.” In an instant, Thorax changed into a copper-coated earth pony with a padlock cutie mark. He wore an apron, as well as a fancy sash with the word ‘LOCKSMITH’ written on it in gold font. These were the clothes that all locksmiths were required by law to wear under penalty of death.

“Well,” Thorax said in his normal dorky voice, “here goes nothing.” The disguised Changeling walked up to the cage door and began rubbing his hooves on the lock.

There was nothing Shining Armor could do but wait. He sat on his haunches and looked around, unsure of what else he could do. There was nothing to look at outside of the cage; the chamber was too darkly lit. And with Thorax busy trying to bust them out of idiot jail, the only creature Shining could really interact with was Blueblood.

Shining reluctantly turned to look at the other prince. Blueblood looked to be just as much at a loss for what to do as Shining was. He was absent-mindedly tapping his front hooves on the stone floor beneath them.

Thorax continued bothering the lock on the door. He worked quietly, like a mouse who was also a burglar, or a dead librarian. It was so quiet that the near-silence was beginning to get to Shining. As much as he hated to do it, the only thing he had to do was talk to Blueblood.

Shining Armor turned to the other stallion and tried to think of a polite conversation topic.

Blueblood shrugged. “I come from a place of extreme privilege and was constantly spoiled as a child. I never had to learn how to do anything for myself because my parents constantly doted on me, and thus I have a very severe lack of understanding of how the world works. I also very rarely have to face consequences for my actions.”

Shining turned back to the cell door. Thorax looked like he was still trying to make the lock be bad at its job. It already felt like this was taking forever. Being around Blueblood caused some sort of time dilation effect.

This was torture. And it was only going to get worse, because more idiot-words started coming out of Blueblood’s awful mouth.

“What did you say you and your pet insect were doing in the sewers again?” Blueblood asked. “All of this craziness has made me forget.”

Shining sighed irritably. He really didn’t want to tell Blueblood about his and Thorax’s search for the princesses, but he supposed there was no point in avoiding it. Besides, Blueblood had already suffered from head injuries twice tonight; there was always the chance that he might get another one and forget all about this.

“We were following a lead,” Shining said. “The EIEIO’s spymaster said that a spell was cast in the sewers at the same time the princesses went missing.”

“Oh, you mean Crystal Clear?” Blueblood asked. “I know her. She spies on my house.”

“Yeah, she’s really terrible,” Shining said casually. “I’m going to fire her later. Anyway, we were hoping to find the princesses and settle this whole thing with the sun and the moon before the griffons declare war on us.”

Blueblood rubbed his chin. “Interesting. Do you think these antelopes had anything to do with it?”

“No.” Shining sighed and shook his head. “Despite their magnificent horns, gazelles can’t cast spells. Also, they told us that they didn’t have anything to do with the princesses going missing.”

“How do you know they aren’t lying?” Blueblood asked, for some reason deciding to actually use his brain for once.

“I thought of that,” Shining said. “But after talking to their leader, they honestly seem too stupid to pull off any kind of deception. I’m pretty sure they’re telling the truth.”

“I see,” he said. “In that case, why aren’t you still searching for clues?”

For a moment, Shining didn’t understand what Blueblood was asking. The question seemed almost too stupid, even for Blueblood and his tiny brain. But as Shining began to register that Blueblood was looking at him judgmentally, Shining realized that Blueblood really had asked what he’d thought.

“… Blueblood, we’ve been kidnapped,” Shining pointed out. “We’re in a cage?”

“And that means you can just take a break in your search for my auntie’s abductor?” Blueblood asked indignantly. “This is no time to be lazy, Armor! While you’re lollygagging about inside of this tiny cage, the perpetrator’s trail could be growing cold!”

Shining stared at Blueblood in disbelief. He hadn’t thought it was possible for Blueblood to stoop to such levels of infuriating stupidity. Shining’s eyebrows arched as his face scrunched up into a steadily-intensifying glare.

Before Shining could start vomiting angry words all over Blueblood’s face, however, something else happened.

Thorax’s yell of triumph killed the tension building between Shining and Blueblood. The two princes turned towards the front of their cage. Thorax, now once again in his true form, pushed the door open. It swung outward on squeaky hinges. It was all just really great.

“Thorax, you’re incredible!” Shining Armor said, really overselling this whole lock-picking thing. “You managed to pick the door?!”

The two cool guys and one Blueblood walked out of the cage. The massive chamber that housed the cage was no less dark from their new perspective. The only thing any of them could see was the massive banner hanging from the ceiling that had ‘THE SLIMEY ZONE!’ written on it in a wacky font. Shining didn’t know the name of the font, and that was terrifying.

“Now what?” Thorax asked as he desperately tried to locate the slime that this zone was known for.

“Well, we should probably keep looking for clues,” Shining Armor said. “Oh, and we should probably stop the cultists while we’re down here. We just need to find them.”

“They couldn’t have gotten far,” Thorax pointed out. “Unless they ran, or even sprinted lightly.”

Shining nodded. “Yeah, it’s a good thing gazelles aren’t known for their speed. We should find them in no time. Let’s head back into the sewers to look for them. We can try and ditch Blueblood while we search.”

Shining, Thorax, and Blueblood used their legs to walk further into the darkness of the Slimey Zone. Shining and Blueblood used their magic to try and illuminate things. This helped a little, but it was still dark as heck. None of them could see more than a few feet ahead of them in any direction.

“We’re never going to beat up those gazelles at this rate,” Shining muttered under his breath. Then he said it again, but louder, so the others could hear him. “Thorax, can you shapeshift into anything that could give off light?”

Once again, Thorax’s body was engulfed by the flames of Changeling magic. In a flash, the fire disappeared, and Shining and Blueblood were both amazed to see that Thorax had turned into an ATV with power steering and front-mounted LED headlights.

“Couldn’t you have just turned into the lights?” Shining asked. “Did you need to turn into the whole thing?”

“I have my reasons,” Thorax said, his voice for some reason emanating from the back of the vehicle. “Please don’t question me about this.”

Shining Armor got into the sparse interior of Thorax the ATV. There was no radio, which meant Thorax had not done a very good job of turning into a motor vehicle. Despite Shining’s anger over this, however, he was able to find the switch that turned on the ATV’s headlights.

The LED bulbs flicked on and the dark chamber was instantly filled with light. The parts of the chamber that were behind of Thorax weren’t lit up, though, because that’s not how light works. Duh.

“Now we can use our eyes to look for clues,” Shining Armor said as he began to scan the dank, stoney chamber.

Almost immediately, Shining found what he needed. On the other side of the Slimey Zone, next to a door that must have led back to the main sewer system, there was a large, stone altar. A gazelle skull sat upon a pyramid of rocks, and a crystal ball was nestled between its horns. Incense had been lit all around the altar, and the whole structure seemed to radiate a strange energy.

More importantly, however, the gazelles had left an important clue all around the altar. The clue was themselves. The gazelles hadn’t actually left the room; they’d just gone to the other end.

Thorax’s cool new headlight caught their attention. The gazelles were all staring at Shining’s group, clearly uncertain of what to do. Their leader, Raphael, looked shocked to see Blueblood, Shining, and an ATV.

“Oh, come on!” Raphael yelled, his voice echoing off of the Slimey Zone’s walls. “You were supposed to stay in the cage! Haven’t you ever heard of the honor system? This is so inconsiderate!”

Shining didn’t waste time apologizing for rudely breaking out of his prison. He put his hoof to the pedal of the ATV and pushed down, hard. He was going to drive this ATV over to the cultists and piledrive them onto the handlebars. But that didn’t happen; instead of moving, the ATV did the opposite of moving—it unmoved.

“Rngrngrngrng,” Thorax’s voice said from the back of the ATV. “That’s… that was supposed to be an engine stalling noise. I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ve got any gas.”

“Heck and darn! I’ll just have to use my legs, then!” Shining snapped. He hopped out of Thorax’s seat and started galloping towards the altar and the cultists surrounding it.

“Don’t let him distract you!” He said. “Begin the chant! We’ve nearly summoned the Great Gazelle!”

Raphael’s followers all linked their hooves and formed a ring around the altar. A sinister light began to emanate from the crystal bull atop the gazelle skull. The cultists raised their heads and united their voices into a single, powerful chant.

As Shining Armor continued his charge towards them, he could just barely make out the words…

Your time is up, my time is now…
You can’t see me, my time is now…
It’s the franchise, boy, I’m shining now…
You can’t see me, my time is now…

It was haunting. Shining could only imagine what deep, dark significance these alien words had. He couldn’t let that stop him, though. He continued his mad run towards the cultists, desperate to punch at least one of them before they could summon this ‘Great Gazelle’ and lay waste to all of Equestria.

The light from the crystal ball that sat on top of the altar had intensified. Shining couldn’t recognize the color of the light; it was indescribable, and also it was green. The smoke from the incense was pouring out of the altar, filling up the chamber. The strange light bounced off of the smoke, reminding Shining Armor of a rave Cadence had taken him to once.

“You’re too late! He’s coming! He’s really coming! Oh, this is so ironic!”

Raphael’s voice came from somewhere ahead of Shining, but by this point the smoke made it impossible to see. Shining was forced to stop mid-gallop, blinded by the light and smoke from the altar. He coughed as he put his hooves over his face, trying to clear his vision.

The cultists’ chant was increasing in volume. The light grew more and more intense, making the smoke glow like thunderclouds. There was something electric in the air that made all of Shining’s hairs stand on end. Everything seemed to be distorting, stretching, as the ritual reached its crescendo.

There was a blinding flash of light from the altar. The cultists’ voices reached a terrifying climax. And then, all at once, everything went black.

When Shining came to, he found himself lying on the stone floor of the Slimey Zone.

Shining Armor rose up onto his hooves. A terrible sense of vertigo was just beginning to die down in Shining’s head. For a moment, the prince had no idea what was happening.

Shining took in his surroundings in an attempt to steady himself. The chamber was completely cleared of smoke. Behind him, Thorax and Blueblood were also beginning to get back onto their hooves. Thorax was no longer an ATV, which was probably for the best. The light from his LED headlights was gone, and now the Slimey Zone was bathed in an eerie, yellow light.

It didn’t take long to find the source of the light. The altar at the end of the room was glowing with magical energy. It wasn’t just the crystal ball—the entire stone structure was giving off light. The cultists were still gathered around it, staring at the altar in mad delight. Apparently, they hadn’t been knocked down by whatever had happened.

Raphael worked his way back into his group, a look of shock on his face. “What’s happening? Did we do it? Have we summoned the Great Gazelle?”

The chamber remained silent, save for an electrical buzz hanging in the air. The excitement in the gazelles’ faces turned to confusion. They looked around them, evidently looking for the Great Gazelle. But the chamber was as empty as it had been. No one had arrived.

Hesitantly, Raphael approached the altar. He put his hooves onto the crystal ball uncertainly.

“Er… Great Gazelle?” He said. “Are you… Are you with us? Have we succeeded?”

Suddenly, a loud ringing noise filled the Slimey Zone. It was brief, only lasting for a second, and appeared to come from the altar. There was a brief moment of silence, and then the altar rang again. And again.

The cultists were all smiling again. They exchanged excited glances, clearly overjoyed with this sign that the ritual had worked.

Shining felt his chest fall. He hadn’t been able to stop them. They had been right in front of him, and Shining hadn’t been able to do anything. They’d succeeded in their ritual. Equestria was doomed. As Blueblood and Thorax joined him, Shining realized with horror that all he could do was stand there and watch as his home was destroyed.

“Great Gazelle,” he said. “We have toiled for years to summon you. We are your humble servants. And we eagerly await the destruction you will bring to—”

Before Raphael could finish the speech he no-doubt had been rehearsing since he was a child, a voice from within the crystal ball cut him off. Much to Shining’s surprise, it was a very, very familiar voice.

“Okay, listen up, you little fanboy,” the voice said irritably. “I’m not in the mood to deal with you right now. In case you haven’t heard, all of my friends have vanished. Fluttershy has been gone for three weeks and I’m worried sick! And Spike’s gone, so that means no Guys’ Nights… I really don’t have time to put up with your half-baked attempts at getting my attention—I’m incredibly distraught.”

Raphael and his cultists looked like the whole world had just come crashing down on top of them. Shining could actually see the moment that their happiness died in their faces. They had gone from malicious joy, to confusion, to horror.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Raphael said slowly. “This must be the wrong number. Is… Is this the Great Gazelle?”

“The what?!” The voice asked. “Did you say ‘Great Gazelle’? I haven’t used that nickname in over a thousand years! I called myself that, like, once! As a joke! There is no Great Gazelle!”

Shining really had no clue how to handle this situation. He looked to Blueblood and Thorax. They looked just as confused as he felt.

“… Who is that?” The voice asked. “Is that… Thorax? Am I on speaker right now?! I can’t believe you’d put me on speaker when you tried to summon me! I have no idea who’s with you right now; anypony could be listening! This is so rude!”

The cultists all shuffled awkwardly. They exchanged uncertain looks. One of them put on a t-shirt with an image of their own frowning face on the chest. Shining would have felt bad for them if they hadn’t actively been trying to bring about Equestria’s destruction. As such, they kind of had this humiliation coming.

“We… We were hoping you would destroy Equestria,” Raphael said hopelessly.

“Oh, why is that not a surprise?” Discord grumbled. “You chaos cults never care about what I want. It’s always ‘destroy this’, or ‘give power to them’. You never just want to talk! I am sick of it! In fact—you know what? Hang on…”

Discord’s voice turned distant, as if he was turning away and yelling at something in the distance.

There was a momentary pause. Then, there was the sound of hoofsteps approaching. Finally, another familiar voice came out of the crystal ball.

“Discord’s house.” Flash Sentry gave his answer calmly, as if it was the most natural response in the world. “It’s fantasy hoofball season. We’re hanging out and watching the game.”

Shining felt like that only raised even more questions. “… You and Discord hang out?!”

“That’s right!” Discord’s voice cut in suddenly, vocally pushing Flash aside. “I’m friends with a cop! So if you cultists try to summon me again, I’m going to have you arrested! Do you hear me?! Don’t call again!”

Discord’s angry demand was punctuated by another clicking noise. Then, the air was filled with a high-pitched drone. The light from the altar faded, and the noise stopped as the chamber was again bathed in complete darkness.

Shining lit up his horn once more. He was close enough that he could see the gazelle cultists and their altar in its illumination. The gazelles all looked stunned.

“… Well, great.” One of the cultists said. “What are we supposed to worship now?”

Raphael’s mouth moved wordlessly. “I… I guess we should just go to bed.”

The former cultists slowly began to walk away from the altar one by one. Their heads hung heavily as their awful gazelle legs carried them towards the exit of the Slimey Zone. Raphael was the last to remain at the stone pyramid, staring forlornly at it.

“I can’t believe it,” Raphael said, clearly speaking more to himself than to the three others still in the room. “I’ve been working towards this day my whole life. I… I’m a failure. My whole family is nothing but failures.”

Shining’s heart went out to the ugly gazelle. He, too, had been having serious issues with his sense of self-worth lately. The disappearance of the princesses and being forced to take up their responsibilities made Shining feel sort of… insignificant. And now this idiot Raphael was feeling the same way, like a big copycat.

Shining slowly approached Raphael and put a comforting hoof on his shoulder. Startled, the gazelle looked up into Shining’s comforting eyes.

“Listen,” Shining said gently. “You have to understand that none of us care about this. Tell me what happened to the princesses or I’ll tell Discord where you live.”

Raphael looked like he was still in shock over what had just happened. If he was in any way intimidated by Shining’s threat, he didn’t show it. He just shrugged helplessly.

“I… I don’t know,” he said lifelessly. “A few weeks ago, a stranger came into the sewers and cast some sort of spell. None of us saw them, though. We just know they were here because they left this behind.”

Raphael reached into the confines of his red robe and pulled out a large sweatshirt that had been folded up into a square. Intrigued by this ting, Shining wordlessly took the piece of clothing and unfolded it.

Emblazoned on the front of the sweatshirt was an image of a hippogriff’s face in profile. It didn’t take long to realize that this was some sports team’s logo.

SEAWEEDATTLE SEAWEEDHAWKS
HOOFBALL

Shining pursed his lips. While it was certainly odd that somecreature had left a perfectly good sports-clothes in the sewers, there was no guarantee that this shirt belonged to the culprit. Shining didn’t know if this really counted as a clue.

That is, until Shining realized that something was written on the back of the shirt. Shining turned the sweatshirt over in his hooves. When he saw the back, his eyes widened.

I AM WEARING THIS WHILE I KIDNAP THE PRINCESSES

Shining Armor Saves Everyone

by 42Zombies

Mr. Hot-Take Galaxy Brain