“First things first; Introductions!” Everypony looked around at the ponies who were closest to them. We all heard each one’s introductions, however long it took for them to get the nerve to do it. It was like an after school club, ponies giving their name and everypony else saying, “hi, ___.” It was surreal.
“Now that Introductions have been established, I would like to set up the rough itinerary for this meeting. I would like to ask one of our ponies who already came out to describe their experiences with how they went about doing so, and once they are finished, a pony who is still having difficulties with coming out to describe their situation.” Monte asked, gesturing to the ‘out’ ponies who were all conveniently sitting next to each other.
“I-I think I can go first, if none of you mind” Sunburst stood up, looking over to the others for confirmation to go. They nodded and Sunburst smiled, “Alright, thank you.”
“I’ll take you back five years ago. I had just moved out of my parents’ house. This was about a month or so after dropping out of the magic school. I was humiliated that I had to drop out and disappoint those who supported me in going. During my time at the magic school, I was able to explore what the ‘real world’ was like, and in my explorations I found a pony who had caught my interest. He was extremely studious, to the point where his whole daily schedule revolved around studying. I spent a good deal of my time trying to become friends with him in hopes that he could help me with my studies and keep from struggling all the time.”
“Things started out small, like saying hello to him whenever we were in the same class together, to casually waving at him while on campus. We eventually got to conversation level, albeit very brief conversation level. I realized as I furthered my efforts in becoming his friend that there was a sort of excitement in every engagement that I had with him. It pooled in my heart and pushed to get out of my chest every time I was near him. I thought I was having some kind of panic attack or a heart attack every time I got close to him. Near the end, I might have well been.”
“My efforts yielded little in the end, as he paid little attention to me and dismissed me whenever I would ask him about help with homework or whatever. I dropped out of magic school and a few weeks later, he got hospitalized for a manic episode in the library. I don’t recall the details of it, but all the same; I left him with a pit in my stomach, confused as to what it was or what it meant.”
“I had come back to Sire’s Hollow, defeated and horribly confused. It wasn’t just him, I had an entirely new perspective when looking at other stallions. I began to notice the way they did their hair, the way they walked, talked, their mannerisms of speech, I began analysing each stallion that I came in contact with. Some of them filled me with a similar tension in my chest, others didn’t. My parents didn’t notice at all, since mother was still trying to get me on some kind of track with a job and father was too ill to focus on anything else.”
“It wasn’t until I delved into researching relationships and sexuality that something clicked. I was initially looking for how to best approach a friendship, but one thing led to another and I found a description of homosexuality. I read it over and over again, making sure that I had the definition right in my mind, though I was more distracted with all my feelings finally falling into place. It was as if a veil had been lifted from my eyes, like the whole world was blurry up until now. I was gay. I had a definition, a reason for all the things that I was feeling;. I was so relieved.”
“Though getting back to the point, I was all settled in at my new house at the Crystal Empire. Mother called it my sabbatical, as if I had any intentions of coming back to Sire’s Hollow permanently. I invited Mother that sunday to the house to see how I settled in. Really, my intentions were different, but I had to put myself in a position where I was comfortable to tell her, otherwise I would have never been able to do something like that.”
“I offered up lunch at a nice restaurant downtown, but she insisted on having us take a walk in the park. It didn’t matter all that much to me where we went, but being in such an open place where people could hear was certainly a factor that I kept in my mind as we walked toward the park. She was fairly silent, though I didn’t need to ask why. Transitions in life are stressful and confusing for everypony.”
“We found a bench to sit at watch the activities of the crystal ponies. They all seemed so happy, though after being lost to time for so long, existing would be enough to make one happy at this point. None of them really paid any attention to us. Mother had made a comment about the paradoxical weather of sun and chill. I would have told her that it was because of the magical shield that was protecting the empire and the chilled ground that the weather outside the barrier was causing, but instead I told her that I was gay.”
“She...she just looked at me, perplexed, almost as if to ask why I would say something like that. It took her a few minutes to process, I guess, since she stayed quiet for a painfully long time. In my mind, I was telling myself that it was the right thing to do, rationalizing somehow that what I had just done was for the best.”
“Finally, she touched my shoulder. I looked over at her; she was smiling. She pulled me into a hug, and” Sunburst paused for a moment, taking a second to wipe his glasses. His cape was unusually close to his face when he did, though. I could hear his shaky breathing, before he cleared his throat and put his glasses back on, “and she said that she loved me. She didn’t say she still loved me or that she loved me even though I was gay. She just said she loved me. I’m not sure what she was thinking in those minutes before, but I don’t need to know. She loves me. Whether I’m gay, straight, or whatever, she loves me.” Sunburst chuckled as he craned his neck, “After that, she asked me if I had plans for a relationship or if I had plans to get a job and manage a relationship. She started to write out a whole map of what to do. I politely stopped her and we spent the rest of the day talking about other things.”
Sunburst smiled and bowed, taking a seat as the rest of the room burst in to applause again. I’ve got to say, there were some similarities between his situation and mine, except I’m not trying to come out to my parents. I’m trying to come out to Pip’s. It did give me an idea about how to come out to them. Somewhere comfortable. On my terms I thought, mentally noting down that idea.
“Thank you, Sunburst, for sharing our first story here. Now, before we move on to a pony who hasn’t come out yet, I’ll give everypony some time to grab more snacks and or use the bathroom or stretch your legs. We will meet back at the table in five minutes.” Monte said, walking over to Sunburst to pat him on the back.
I moved over to the snack table where Gallus and Sandbar were talking.
“What a coming out story, eh?” I asked, hoping to get their opinions and takeaways from the story.
“I’ll say. It certainly helped put into some perspective on how others realize that they are gay and how they react to it.” Gallus said, staring blankly for a second before looking over to Sandbar, who nodded.
“It did get me thinking on that, and about the idea of being in a place where you are comfortable with telling whoever you want to tell.” Sandbar chimed in.
“Who do you think is going to go next, you know, for the pony-”
“Or Griffon” Gallus interrupted
“Or griffon, who hasn’t come out yet?” I asked.
“I think I overheard Monte’s husband talking to that pegasus in the rainbow tie, what was his name, Flatterfly? Yeah, I think he’s going next. So it should be interesting.” Sandbar grabbed for a few more lemon poppyseed tarts before making his way back to the table.
“Yep, interesting!” I said as I followed back to my seat.