This is crazy, this house is freaking HUGE! Why the hell does she sleep in trees when she could just come back to her house?! If this was my place I'd never leave here! Oh wait, this is kinda my house now. Well at least where I live. Oh well, I think It's time for a little exploration.
There's three bathrooms...THREE BATHROOMS. She lives here alone, and yet still found the need to have three separate bathrooms built, whatever, im not complaining that just means more rooms for me to completely take over.
I think I may actually be lost. How the hell did this even happened? I walked into bathroom #2. came out and then BAM, Im lost. I'd feel kinda ashamed if it wasn't for the fact that being lost has now brought me to what I assume is the door to Dash's room, It has a big-ass version of her cutie mark on it so im pretty sure this is the real thing. Win. I have this strange feeling like im doing something wrong by opening this doo-oh my god. This, this may be the single coolest thing i've ever seen in my life.... Theres a rainbow waterfall. A RAINBOW WATERFALL IN HER ROOM! Who does that?! Awesome people do! Or Awesome ponies do. You know what, this dosn't even surprise me any more, from now on nothing in this house can surprise me-OH MY GOD ITS A WIND TUNNEL! HOW IS THIS EVEN A THING? How the hell do you even put this in a house?! I-I want to touch it. I wounder how this thing even works? I wounder how she even maintains this thing? Dash may not be dumb per say, but I dont think she's definitely no technical engineer..... That had better not be a degree on the wall. This is a degree....Im dumbfounded. It shows Dash holding a degree surrounded by her friends, Its got an inscription on it. The Day I Got MY Degree. OK WHAT THE FU-
"YO BURNS! WHERE ARE YOU DUDE?" Oh dear god she's home. Hide hide hide hide hide, WIND TUNNEL. YES! Hide in the wind tunnel, she will never look for me here. "HEY! I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF MY ROOM!" Oh no I left the door open, pleaaaase don't look in the wind tunnel. "WHEN I FIND YOU I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU!" I can feel my heart beating, I can HEAR my heart beating. Ive only ever been this scared twice before, one on my fall here and then there's that one time when I got mugged by a guy dressed like Boba Fett at Comicon. (No Joke) This is definitely scarier that a dude dressed like Boba. "COME OUT NOW AND I'LL ONLY BEAT YOU A LITTLE!" Ahhhhhhhh, panic mode is starting I am now visibly sweating *sniff* and burning? OH SHIT IM ON FIRE!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH OH GOD PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT!" IM ON FIRE AGAIN! GODDAMMIT WHY!
"WOW, Dude you're on fire!" NO SH*T PUT ME OUT!
" IKNOWIKNOWIKNOW! PUT ME OUT!"
"WHAT HAPPENED?! WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM! UGH! HERE! *Pushes rain cloud over me* "Better?"
*Huff-Puff* "I...Was...on fire...again. Im good now..." You know it didn't hurt that bad, just more of a little tingle sensation more than anything. I think I was just panicking...just a little. "So...hey, nice house you got here. Hehe, so this was your room? I didn't know, I promise" I knew It was her room.
"You didn't know 'eh? The big cutie mark on the door didn't give it away? I took you for the smart observant type, guess I was wrong." She's poking at my ego, how the hell does she know that's my weakness? God, the show did a crap job of portraying Dash.
"Well...I may have just ignored that little detail. AMAZING room by the way. Didn't know you had a degree either, or a wind tunnel, or your own personal waterfall. Did I mention that you have an amazing house?" I don't think im going to be able to worm my way out of this smoldering pit ive dug myself into.
"Yeah, It is pretty awesome...Part of the benefit of being the fastest ever is a bunch of prize money and stuff. But hey on an unrelated note, YOU BURNED A HOLE IN MY FLOOR!" Ah, geez, its a floor made of clouds, just bring in another one. I really should stop burning holes in stuff though, it's getting old.
"Oh, you mean this scorch mark? Personally I think it adds a little more flare to the room. Not that it needs more or anything, 'cuz you know...waterfall." It is a really nice waterfall, its got rainbow water, that's awesome. "So hey, whats up with the degree? I took you for the dumb strong type." I should have worded that a little better.
"Oh haha, coming from the little flamer that really burns." What the hell? Do they have gay jokes here? "Anyway, I got that thing a while back, your lookin at a graduate of Cloudsdale Tech. See that big tunnel behind you? Built that thing my self." OK WHAT HELL? How much farther off could the show of been with here? She's a freaking mechanical engineer! God, today's just one big discovery after another.
"That's probably one of the most impressive things I've ever seen before. Like ever." No joke, that's pretty amazing that she managed to build that thing. "So, how is that thing even here? Shouldn't it just fall right through the clouds?"
"Want to know one of the perks of being an Element Of Harmony? All of the connections that come with it, like a direct connection to the princess. Asked her if she could solve that problem and then, BAM, permanent cloudwalker spell on it. That thing will stay there as long as I want it to." Thats amazing. " But hey, thats not even the best part of this room. Come over here, got somethin to show you." What could possibly be better than windtunnel or waterfall? "THIS, is my bed. Made from the finest, softest, spongiest, clouds in the sky. Its big too, easily big enough for two." Id say im feeling a little hot under the collar, but then id be breaking the, no more fire joke rule. But in all seriousness, thats hot.
Authors Notes: LOLOLOL cliffhanger. Anyway school starts pretty soon for me so updates will be just a little less frequent. Until then ill get two more parts out this week hopefully. So you know, RIFTEN OUUUUT! Btw happy late birthday for my editor.