Celestia smacked her lips as she left what had been designated as her bedroom on the Tardis, a gleam in her eye and a bounce in her step as she cantered towards the kitchen to get some breakfast. “Good morning, Applejack!” she said cheerfully as she made her way to the kitchen counter and used her magic to pull out some instant batter and a griddle.
“You seem happier than a sheep on sheerin’ day after winnin’ a cloud look-a-like contest!” the farm pony said, happily munching on a bowl of apple-spiced oats (she dare not try anything not apple-flavored, lest Granny find a way to teleport in time and buck her for betraying the family).
“I… don’t quite know how that works in measurement standards but yes, I am in a very good mood!” Celestia proclaimed, measuring out a scoop of instant batter into a mixing bowl.
“Oh, I can explain it, if ya are interested!” Applejack said happily, taking off her hat and pulling out a scroll. “Twi and I worked it out… see, baseline would be a pony goin’ for a trot when there were a few clouds in the sky and it weren’t quite warm but also not quite cold. Next up we have a cow gettin’ a new fence post right before they were able to dance with a ladybug. That’s naturally followed up by a chicken discoverin’ two pounds of seed in a one pound sack while a goose plays the fiddle.” AJ snickered. “Twi thought about putting that ahead of two peanuts warmin’ in a sack of sugar but that’s just crazy talk!”
“Yes… yes it is,” Celestia with a humoring smile, pouring the now sticky batter onto the griddle before snagging some candied pears from the pantry and slicing them up.
“You ain’t thinkin’ of puttin’ them things on whatever ya be makin’, are ya?”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Yes….”
Applejack screwed up her face in disgust as Shining Armor walked in, his mane a mess. “Ugh. To each their own I guess but ain’t no way I’d ever be even connected to a pear!”
Shining and Celestia suddenly looked around.
“Uh… what are ya doin’?” AJ asked.
Shining frowned. “I had the sudden feeling that Wall Breaker was going to teleport in to make a comment. It’s gone now, not to worry.” He let out a yawn and poured himself a bowl of Lucky Charms (not everything has to have a pony pun). “Sorry,” he said, yawning again, “Cadence kept me up all night.”
“I bet she did!” Rainbow Dash said with a laugh, zooming in and grabbing the blender to make herself a breakfast smoothie. “I bet you to were up real late… “rearranging furniture”.” She snickered.
~6 Hours Earlier~
“Cadence, please, I just want to go to sleep!” Shining complained, lying on the bed and clutching a pillow around his head.
“But the bed is right under the air vent, Shining!” Cadence complained. “I can’t go to sleep if I have cold air blowing on me!” She lifted a chair and considered where to put it before placing it back where it had been.
“Then just move the bed to the other side of the room!” he whined.
“But then we are too close to the door and I can hear Pinkie going to the bathroom again…”
KABOOM!
“…and apparently going Number 2 is reason to celebrate with her party cannon.”
“LOOK AT HOW BIG IT IS! WOOOOO!”
Shining stomped towards the bathroom. “I’m going to sleep in the tub!”
~Present time~
“Well, at least you’re in a good mood, Princess,” Rainbow Dash said just as Luna walked in, also with a spring in her step. “And so are you! What’s up, you two get lucky or something?”
“No,” Discord said as he entered, a look of bafflement on his face as he stared at the wedding ring on his finger. “But I might have… last night was a blur.” He snapped his fingers and summoned some pizza for his breakfast… with pineapple (proving he truly was evil and shut up all those who like pineapple on pizza you are sick! Just sick! I swear I’ll-)
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“As for my mood… it is very rare for me to be able to sleep in. In fact I honestly can’t remember the last time I was able to. Certainly not since I took control of the sun without one of our brothers or sisters around to assist.” Stacking her breakfast on her plate and then preparing her sister’s meal she trotted over to the table and began to layer the fruit, butter and syrup before taking up a knife and fork. “So even with my worry about Tydal… I was able to actually wake up when I wished.”
“The same is true for me,” Luna said, choosing some whip cream and chocolate sprinkles. “I haven’t-“
"I love pancakes, I love pancakes, it makes me a happy Tia. Their so yummy in my tummy, nom nom nom nom nom!"
The gathered group stared at Celestia as she continued to sing her song, drizzling syrup on her pancakes.
“She… still does that?” Discord asked, his worry over the growing realization that Rarity had date raped him fading away as the sun goddess wiggled in delight as she ate her breakfast.
“Every. Single. Day.” Luna muttered before eating her food in a more dignified manner.
“On the plus side at least she doesn’t have Twilight’s Brownie Face,” Shining stated.
Everyone quickly murmured in agreement even as Twilight stepped into the kitchen and, seeing their squirming, narrowed her eyes. “You are talking about me and brownies again.”
“…noooooo?” Rainbow drawled out.
“I don’t do anything weird when I eat a brownie,” she said firmly. “I never have any weird faces! Especially with food! So just-“
Shining reached into the fridge and pulled out a bowl.
“Puuuuddddddddinnnnngggg!” Twilight said, eyes wide and a truly unearthly smile stretching her face.
“That will replace the whale in my nightmares,” Rainbow whispered in horror.
“…sure you don’t make faces,” Discord said, everyone save for Celestia agreeing (the white alicorn was too busy humming to herself as she savored her pancakes).
Twilight glowered but then took a breath, calming herself, mentally doing her soothing mantra (‘You are Twilight Sparkle. You are the greatest organizer in all of Equestria. Babies do NOT scream in fear when you eat a brownie, they are screaming for other reasons. You are Twilight Sparkle…’) before clearing her throat. “Now then, while I am happy to see everypony is in a good mood I do think we need to begin discussing our search patterns for today.” As she spoke Fluttershy and the Doctor walked in, with Derpy and Dinky close behind (and one guess what they decided to get for breakfast). “Now, we need to expand the areas we look, as its clear that Lord Tydal has moved beyond what we expected. We also can’t rule out that some pony has taken him… either of his free will or against.”
“They will die if they dared to do that,” Luna said, eyes going into dragon-like slits, Celestia pausing from her happy humming to nod in dark agreement.
“We can’t determine if that is true or not, but we have to plan just in case.” Reaching into her saddle bag she pulled out a map of Old Equestria and held it up for all to see. “Celestia, I am thinking you and Rainbow could head into Cloudsdale and check to see if he headed up there. I doubt it but we can at least scratch that off the list.”
“Perfect,” Celestia said with a grin, glancing at Rainbow. “Remember that bar Bonebreaker suggested? We could swing by there before heading up.”
“I think I was blacked out when he suggested that…” Rainbow said nervously.
“Luna, I want you and Cadence and Pinkie to hit up the location of the Crystal Empire. I know it’s already disappeared at this point but we can still check. Lord Tydal, you and Sunset can head to Mount Aris. The hippogriffs should still be around and watching the waters so they may have spotted him.”
“Will do,” the capricorn stated, giving a weak salute as he limped into the kitchen. One eye was swollen shut and his new scars mingled with his own but he still managed to salute. “Can I stop at a barber first? I need to shave this down.” He gestured at his beard and then noticed Sunset glaring at him. “And I guess I should get medically checked out.”
“We’re kind of on a tight schedule to find you, Lord Tydal, so-“
Twilight paused, blinking as she registered what she’d just said… and to who.
Everyone else caught up seconds later.
“Daddy?” Luna whispered.
“Hi baby girl,” Tydal whispered huskily.
The screams and cheers as he was swarmed filled the Tardis.
The God Squad: Equestria’s Mightiest Immortals
Episode 6: Bedside Manners
~Two Days Later in Tydal’s Keep…~
Celestia, Luna, Discord, Shining, Cadence, Chrysalis, and Sunset all gathered around in Tydal’s room, the War God lying on his stone bed as the doctor looked him over. When they’d returned from the past (with the Doctor pleasantly surprised they hadn’t altered the timeline… he’d been far too ready for somepony to do something stupid and cause the time stream to begin leaking) they arrived in Ponyville hoping to move quietly back to Canterlot and get Tydal checked over. While Sunset had managed to rip him away from the jaws of death Tydal was still far too week for one of the Elder Gods and the Squad knew that they needed to get him checked out. Even Twilight and her friends had been able to tell from the way he was walking and the deep bite-marks that marred his body that the old goat was putting on a brave face but was clearly in a tremendous amount of paint.
The Squad waved goodbye to the Hooves family and Twilight and the Twiletes (“We aren’t called that,” Rarity had said dryly when Cadence suggested it) and been ready to summon the royal chariot when…
~Two Days Earlier…~
“Are you sure I can’t just pop us up to the castle?” Discord asked, wiggling his fingers. “Would take a second…”
“No,” Celestia said firmly, looking down at Tydal who was lying on a bench, grumbling a touch at being treated like a fragile doll but also so weak he couldn’t stop them from doing just that. “We’re lucky traveling through time didn’t aggravate his wounds but I won’t risk any magic, be it chaos or my own, affecting what Sunset did. We’ll have some actual doctors look him over first, make sure he is okay.”
“He is lying right here,” Tydal complained. “And he also thinks bacon is the cure for what ails him.”
Chrysalis held up a foreleg. “If it was a well loved pig I second the motion.” Cadence opened her mouth but Shining shut her jaw before she could make her comment.
“You can eat once we have you checked out-“
She paused when she felt the ground tremble.
“Earthquake?” Shining asked, looking around.
“Volcanic eruption?” Cadence said nervously.
“Bulk Bicep doing jumping jacks?” Luna postulated.
The ground trembled again and cracks formed right in front of them… before there was an explosion of dirt and Zeena, Goddess of the Earth and Lady of Zebrica, burst from the ground and landed in front of them, standing before the shocked citizens of Ponyville.
“TYDAL!” she cried out, rushing over to him and asked a thousand questions at once. Before it could register on the citizens of Ponyville that the biggest zebra any of them had ever seen was hugging the rather grumpy goat-fish that was prone to appearing there were twin blasts of wind, one from the east and another from the west, and upon them flew Fuzzy Thinker and Polar Vortex.
“Oh, my dear baby brother,” Fuzzy, God of the Winds and Knowledge, said with a smile, taking off his half-moon glasses and cleaning them before hurrying over and mussing up the capricorn’s mane. The capricorn glared at the old griffin but the teacher merely smiled. “You have returned from the Next Great Adventure.”
“BIG BROTHER!” Polar, God of the Tundra and Craftsmenship, bellowed out in utter delight. He unsheathed his swords and tossed them into the air, catching them with a laugh. “Only you! Only you brother could cheat death so! I swore I would slay Tirek in your name but now we will do it together, da?”
Tydal looked at the rest of the Squad. “Someone mind telling me how news traveled so fast? I thought you said you came to get me right after the battle.”
“Everyone felt you disappear,” Discord informed him. “It made us think you were dead.”
“Everyone?” Tydal asked… and they all heard the dull rumble coming from every direction.
Then the ponies of Ponyville began to scream.
Looking around the Squad suddenly saw a stampede of their brothers and sisters, as well as said siblings’ children and grandchildren, rushing towards them in all directions, crying out the old goat’s name. Ponies cried out as all manner of hybrid creatures, massive representatives of species, and creatures they’d never encountered before bullrushed through the streets of Ponyville, causing the largest gathering of immortals the world had seen since Zeena had thrown a Hot Dog Eating Contest.
“Attention and being coddled,” Tydal said dryly as several gods all began to get close and ask him questions. “So nice my family knows me so-AAAAAAAAACCCKKK!”
“MY BABY!” Tau Sunflare sobbed, grabbing Tydal and hugging him by the neck. Even the other gods were in shock as the creator of all things suddenly appeared and began to swing Tydal about by the throat, peppering his head with kisses.
“Mom… can’t… breathe!” Tydal gasped. “AAAACCKKK!!!! AAAACCCRRRGGGKKKK!!!”
~Present~
Once they’d managed to calm their extended family down and explain why they’d gone from sensing his disappearance to feeling his weakened form echoing across the immortal plan the entire family had begun to offer their help in getting him back on the path of recovering. This had naturally led to a state of emergency in Ponyville for most (such as a trio of flower-loving ponies) to big business (Sugarcube Corner could now buy a college for Pumpkin and Pound… not tution, an actual college). For his elder brothers and sister he was the baby of the family, the youngest of the Elders and thus in need of coddling. For all the younger gods and goddesses he was the favorite big brother who had always looked out for them and thus they were in a near panic that he was so weak. For his nieces and nephews he was a legendary hero who had been missing for much of their lives and they didn’t want to miss an opportunity to meet him. Calls for donating magic, offers of care, and hundreds of different suggestions of how to get him better filled the air.
Zeena wanted him to return to Zebrica and be looked over by the witch doctors. Polar wanted to perform battle field surgery on him. Fuzzy’s great granddaughter Gertrude, the white griffin goddess of winter and feasts, had brought up a full list of soups and filling foods to get his weight back up, as she didn’t like how his ribs were visible; Tydal had admitted that he hadn’t been eating well during his time in the past and she’d demanded use of the nearest kitchen to make him a fitting lunch. Searstrike, the winged panther god of summer, had believed that Tydal needed to work out and get his blood pumping while they forced magic into him. Mary Sue had arrived once settling the Doctor and his family at home to suggest they just rewrite reality to make Tydal all better, or at least create a Deus Ex Machina; she also mentioned something about transporting him to a fanfic where no one died but that was ignored. Their mother had gotten done hugging Tydal before wishing him good luck, giving him a butterscotch candy, and disappearing where she came from. So on and so on.
Finally Celestia had done the only thing she could think of to get everyone, including Tydal, on the same page.
She’d summoned Merida.
After Tydal’s wife had cursed all of them out until she’d actually begun to invent new curse words for not contacting her FIRST she’d glared at her husband, called him a sackless gob for daring to abandon her and fight alone, kissed him tenderly, and finally declared that they were taking him home and she would then consider all suggestions. When Fuzzy and Zeena had protected Merida had reminded them that she was his wife and outruled them all. The younger gods had quickly agreed and that was that.
Luna and Celestia had been drafted to go through all their ideas before settling on a select few of their family to stay and help, the rest told they would keep them informed but for now they needed to make sure the world kept running. Gertrude had taken over the kitchens of the Keep with Coral, declaring that she would not only make Tydal a diet plan that would bring him back up to full strength but also get some meat on the bones of everyone in the Keep. Polar’s son Arctic Blast was handling patrols with a few of the other younger gods and goddess so that Merida, Coral, and Misty could care for Tydal. Mary Sue had volunteered to stay and babysit Giggles, none wanting the little zebracorn filly to see her daddy so hurt. Celestia and Luna had decided to call in another one of Fuzzy’s family, his son Piercing Hawkeyed, the God of Medicine, to look over the old goat.
The lean tall griffin pulled Tydal’s scarred eye open, the wound already MUCH better than it had been when Sunset had found him, before applying some cream to it. “Well, I’m afraid to tell you that… I’ll never be able to play the piano again.”
Cadence frowned. “Don’t you mean Tydal can’t play the piano again?”
“No, I meant me! Haha!”
Tydal glared at his nephew. “Permission to kill?”
Shining frowned. “He’s ensuring you live.”
“Remember, you said live, you didn’t say anything about him enjoying it!” Piercing said with a laugh, pouring himself from Griffish Gin.
“I’ll risk it,” Tydal said darkly.
“Denied,” Shining said, shaking his head before smiling. “I missed this.”
“Aw, don’t be like that, Uncle!” Piercing said with a smirk. “In a few minutes my Bipolar disorder will kick in and I’ll be maudlin and depressing.”
“…but you’re saying I still have to deal with your cackling buffoonery until then?” He tried to get up but Chrysalis forced him to lie back down. “I have to stay in bed, I’m off solid food, I can’t murder annoying doctors… it’s almost like fighting deranged magic stealing centaurs is a bad idea.”
“It… is…” Luna said, fighting the urge to smack him upside the head. “You ever go after someone like that and I will make you WISH Tirek finished you off!” She leaned over him, glaring… before laying her head on his chest. “We can’t lose you again.”
Tydal sighed before reaching up and stroking her mane.
“So Piercing, what’s the verdict?” Celestia asked.
“Guilty,” Piercing said before cackling and drinking his booze.
Shining glanced at Cadence. “Are we sure he is our best bet to get him back to normal?” The unicorn considered his words. “Well, normal for him.”
“Hey, I suggested sexual healing and all of you prudes told me that orgies in hospital beds aren’t classy!” She folded her forelegs over her chest. “I am never going to finish my banging list.”
“Don’t you mean Bucket List?” Sunset asked. Cadence opened her mouth and the pale orange held up a hoof. “Nevermind, remembered who I was talking to.”
“I also had a bucket list,” Cadence said, sticking her nose in the air. “But I finished that.”
“Wait for it…” Discord whispered.
“I banged every bucket on that list… my pelvis was so sore…”
“And there it is,” Discord said, Sunset snorting in response.
Celestia though merely smiled, looking at the sundial on Tydal’s dresser. “3…2…1…”
Piercing’s smile suddenly fell and his shoulders slumped. “The world is nothing but pain and misery. All we do is kill each other and now I’m asked to save the embodiment of war. When will the killing end?”
“We have about 5 minutes of this before he’s back to being a jackass,” Celestia stated. “Let’s make it count. Piercing, what do we do for Tydal?”
“Other than wonder if life is worth living when the world is filled with pain?” the griffin’s shoulders slumped even as he walked over to his bag and pulled out a bottle of pills. “These will help stimulate his natural healing. And I’d like for at least one of you to cast a healing spell on him every 6 hours until he’s regenerated enough that his own magic can take care of it. That will have the benefit of allowing his powers to return to full strength. I’d say he’ll be in bed for about a week and then he can begin exercising again.”
“Thank you Piercing.”
“Life is nothing more than a cycle of misery-“
Discord snapped his fingers and sent Piercing right back to Griffland. “What? I can’t be the only one tried of the whiny preaching.”
“So suicide is painless,” Coral sang as she trotted past the room. “It brings on many changes…”
“So…” Chryrsalis said, reaching over and snagging the pills Piercing had left behind, “we keep watch to make sure Tydal stays in bed, we feed him some magic anal pills-“
“He did not say they went in there!” Tydal cried out.
“He didn’t say they didn’t either,” the changeling queen pointed out. “And in a week he is on the road to recovery?”
“Scars are already fading,” Luna pointed out. “Even to cool ones.”
Shining though wasn’t as optimistic. “So we have to keep down an angry war god who never listens to directions when it comes to his own safety and health?”
Tydal opened his mouth to complain about Shining’s insults… only to snap his mouth shut and nod in agreement.
Before anyone could comment further they heard a wooshing sound and turned as one to see, of all things, a flying carpet zoom into the room, flying about before finally setting near Celestia.
“Okay, so I’m still getting used to being back in Equestria,” Sunset stated, “but I am right in thinking that is odd even for us, right?”
“Very odd,” Shining stated, tilting his head.
“Odd but very nice!” Cadence stated with glee. “Shiny, I want carpets like that in our living room!”
“Derpy certainly lost weight,” Tydal said, tilting his head.
Celestia though merely smiled and lit up her horn, pulling free a letter than had been carefully stitched onto the rug, snapping the threads free and bringing it up for her to read. “It’s not that odd for me. This is how messages are commonly sent in Saddle Arabia.”
“So they send messages via carpets?” Shining Armor stated, reaching out and pocketing the carpet, which twitched and wiggled away. “Is it just an enchantment or…”
Luna shook her head. “no they are sentient. Brought to life, yes, but once brought into being they are alive like you or me.”
Sunset frowned, slowly circling around the carpet. “So are they like mailmares or something? Or more like messenger pigeons? Just how smart are they?”
“Average intelligence, dedicated to their jobs,” Celestia stated.
Cadence beamed. “OH! So they are the Spikes of Saddle Arabia!”
Discord snickered. “More that Spike is a glorified Magic Carpet.”
~Meanwhile, in Ponyville…~
Spike suddenly looked up from his cleaning, glowering slightly though he didn’t know why, before going back to his tasks.
~Back at Tydal’s Keep~
“Oh dear,” Celestia said, browsing through the letter.
“What’s wrong?” Shining asked.
Tydal grunted, shifting in his bed. “Nothing. She always sounds super worried when she gets wonderful news.”
Shining rolled his eyes while Sunset leapt up onto the bed and placed her head on Tydal’s chest, keeping him from rising up any more. Celestia, for her part, scanned the letter one more time before speaking. “What does it say, Princess?”
“It’s a message from Prince Haakim and Princess Amira, the chosen delegates of Saddle Arabia.”
Sunset held up a hoof. “I assume since they didn’t show up when we got back that we aren’t related to them.”
“Correct,” Celestia said. “There are plenty of kingdoms and countries where our blood does not flow and they are one of them.”
“Also not one where I made blood flow,” Tydal said with a shiver.
“You okay?” Cadence asked, concerned.
“Sorry, just thinking about marching through that desert. Ugh.” His tail swished as he remembered the last time he’d gone into the sands… and how he’d nearly ended up a fish stick. Discord, feeling some pity for his brother, summoned some cool packs and placed them on the tail, Tydal’s movements stilling as he laid down in relief.
Shining cleared his throat. “So what does the letter say, Princess?”
“Haakim and Amira say that there is issues with one of the city-kingdoms of Saddle Arabia… rumors of unrest and corruption. Of dark magic and vile spells. They have sent aides to investigate but been unable to determine the problem… and are requesting our aid.”
“You mean Equestria?” Luna asked.
“I mean the God Squad.”
All of those gathered blinked.
“Are they bucking insane?!?” Sunset exclaimed. “No offense, I know I’m the newest member of our little group… but when I think of ‘saviors’ I don’t think of us! Heck, from what I’ve heard when we are involved in a mission the ‘saviors’ are the ones rushing out to fix our messes.” She waved wildly at Discord. “I had lunch with the God of Chaos yesterday!”
“…it was still a good lunch though, right?” Discord asked, tapping his fingers together.
Sunset flashed him a smile. “It was very nice, thank you. I forget that it’s hard to get actual bacon cheeseburgers in Equestria.” She ignored the disgusted looks Celestia, Luna, Shining, and Cadence sent her way.
“She does have a point,” Chrysalis pointed out. “I mean three of us were major threats to Equestria’s safety… four if you count alternate realties.”
“Five if you count my rampages,” Tydal pointed out before coughing a bit, Celestia using her magic to bring over a glass of honey tea which he drag from deeply.
Satisfied that the Sea God was fine Celestia turned to the group and continued. “Well, they are still asking for our help. They state that our outsider status and our… less than orthodox methods… may be the perfect solution to their problem.” She paused and gave them all a sly look. “Sometimes one needs a cunning mind and a daring hero to solve a problem. Other times they need a puckish rogue.”
“I like that… I am now a puckish rogue!” Discord declared, snapping his fingers and causing himself to appear wearing a green and yellow body suit, a brown leather jacket, and a bushy brown wig with a streak of white running through it. “Howdy sugah,” he said with a southern accent.
“So we’re going to Saddle Arabia, huh?” Chrysalis said. “I’ll need a new floppy hat and sunglasses.”
Luna though shook her head. “I’m afraid not all of us will be going this time.”
“What do you mean?”
The Moon Goddess gestured down at Tydal. “For one you aren’t going, daddy.”
Tydal grumped at that but then sighed. “Probably for the best… even if I weren’t as weak as a foal the sun and capricorns are-“
“Unmixy?” Sunset asked. Tydal looked at her in confusion and she smiled weakly. “I was a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” She suddenly grinned. “We can get the human me to send us a tv and a dvd player and all the seasons! Binge party while you recover!”
“Okay,” Chrysalis stated, “so Tydal is out. But the rest of us-“
“I’m not going,” Sunset said firmly, setting back down next to Tydal and summoning a notepad to make a list of all she wanted her other self to send. “If I leave he is going to get up and do something stupid. I will keep him in line. Like I said, binging party!”
“Excuse me?” Tydal said, insulted by her comment.”You will keep me in line? I think you’ve forgotten who is the teacher here-“
“I know you’ll stay in bed and get better,” Sunset said, her eyes wide with shimmering tears, “because when you are very old… and very kind… you heal up and take your medicine when the little girls cry.”
Tydal stared at her with a look of absolute panic before flopping down onto the bed. “That…isn’t…fair.”
Shining cleared his throat and declared, “I hereby give Sunset Shimmer the same right to Deny you as I have.”
“THAT’S EVEN LESS FAIR!!!!” the capricorn whined before lowering his head down onto his bed, Sunset stroking his mane while sharing a nod with Shining Armor.
“Okay, so Tydal is out, obviously,” Chrysalis said, embarrassed she’d so quickly forgotten how injured the old goat-fish was. Yes, Piercing had said he could get up in a week… but that didn’t mean he would be back to full strength. She’d heard how Princess Luna, after burning through much of her magic after facing the Elements of Harmony, had been reduced much in size and it had taken nearly a month to get her back up to full strength… and height.
Which had apparently led to much humor on Celestia’s part…
~A few years ago…~
“This… isn’t… funny,” Luna complained as they moved through the castle, dangling from the baby carrier Celestia was wearing.
“Someone is grumpy… do you want some animal crackers?” She used her magic to wiggle a bag of the cookies in front of Luna’s face.
“No! …yes.”
~Present~
While Tydal had actually seen Piercing to speed along his recovery it would take a while for him to be back to full strength… especially since Discord, as eldest, had admitted to all of them that he wanted Tydal brought back not to the strength he’d had before facing Tirek but before the two of them had faced each other over 1500 years ago. Celestia and Luna hadn’t realized it but the old goat had never fully recovered from their battle and had been running around injured the entire time.
“And,” Chrysalis continued, “Sunset wants out which is fine. But the rest of us-“
Luna shook her head. “Tydal needs magic pumped into him. Every six hours, remember? Even with Merida, Coral, and Misty working together that will be VERY draining on them. We need more gods… us.”
“Besides,” Celestia stated, “Equestria is still dealing with Tirek’s attack. For us it’s been over a week… for them it was three days ago. We need to make sure that everyone is okay and that the damage caused by Tirek’s battles with Twilight and father are repaired.”
“So then a small number then?” Shining asked.
The royal pony sisters shared a nod before Luna spoke. “I had been considering such a thing for a while now, ever since we agreed to officially make The God Squad. All of us may be overkill in some situations and in others it would be wise to keep some back, to be ready to come in should things fall apart. For large and dangerous missions all of us can go but for something like this? A hoofful would be enough.”
Shining considered this before nodding. “I should go. I’ve only recently been made a god… I don’t even have wings yet… so I can’t help heal Tydal properly.”
Cadence quickly nodded. “The Crystal Empire can survive without Shiny and me for a week or two more… Tirek only did minor damage to us and many of my subjects weren’t that traumatized…”
~Three Days Ago~
Tirek cackled as he marched into the Crystal Empire, eyeing up the ponies that were lining the streets, staring at his large, muscular, powerful glory. Flexing slightly he continued forward, trying to decide what to do first. While it was annoying that the Crystal Princess wasn’t there the kingdom still presented a wonderful opportunity to strengthen himself…
“Hey there buddy,” a crystal pony said, tapping Tirek on the leg. “Can we help ya with somethin’?”
Tirek looked down, leering at the stallion. “I am Tirek and I have come to claim all your magic!”
“Okay there, guy. Ya want it now or would ya like ta go ta Timmies and get a double double and some Timbits first?”
“I… what?”
“We can give ya our magic first if ya’d rather have that first. That would give us some time to make up some maple sticks for ya to go. Do ya need some free medical care or legal weed before ya leave?”
“I… well yes, that would be nice. I was nearly starved only a few days ago.”
“Okay there buddy, just follow me.”
Tirek followed after him, bemused.
~Present~
“They even gave him a gift basket,” she muttered, her perky mood for once dropping.
Celestia nodded in approval before turning to Discord. “I also believe it is time to make you a full member, Discord.”
The god of chaos blinked. “Are you quite sure? After all, I’m not the savior type-“
“Blood thirsty capricorn, love thirsty changeling, Nightmare Moon, demon woman who enslaved teenagers… and I’m sure Cadence, Shining, or myself will do something evil soon enough.” She gave him a cool look. “Its time to grow up, brother.”
Discord sighed and looked at Shining and Cadence. “We are getting separate hotel rooms.”
“Of course,” Shining said quickly.
~Two Evenings Later…~
Shining laid in the hotel bed, a scowl on his face. “I thought you meant one room for yourself…”
Beside him Discord, wearing facecream and his hair in curlers, fluffed up his pillows.