“Chimmicherry? Cherrychanga? Chimmicherry? Cherrychanga? Chimmicherry? Cherrychanga? Chimmicherry? Cherrychanga? Chimmich-”
“Pinkie Pie, PLEASE!” exclaimed the white unicorn, as she continued to rhythmically pump the hoof-cart, “You have been at this for at least an hour. Will you just pick a name already?”
“But Rarity, it’s of uppity up up upmost importance that I don’t pick just ANY name but the RIGHT one! I’m gonna start making these as soon as we get back to Ponyville and something as deliciously delicious as this has to be given the absolutely positively scrumptuliciously best name ever!”
“Hmph, I know what I’ll be doing when I get back to Ponyville.”
“Trip to the spa?”
“No! I mean… Well, yes,” Rarity admitted, as she eyed the dust in her fur and pieces of cacti in her mane, “But AFTER that I’m going to give that careless, inconsiderate, insensitive, thoughtless, pegasus a piece of my mind!”
The pink pony titled her head in confusion as she kept a consistent pumping rhythm with her friend.
“Fluttershy?”
“Rainbow Dash!”
“Ohhhhhhh, you’re still mad at Dashie?”
The white equine cast a look of disbelief toward Pinkie. “Of course I am! Leaving us, out here stranded in the middle of nowhere!”
The energetic earth pony’s normal uplifting smiley face diminished to one of concern. “Are you still mad at me too, Rarity?”
The unicorn let out a low sigh and averted her gaze to the wooden bottom of the hoof-cart on which the two mares sat as they continued to pump at a steady tempo.
**********************
“Applejack, you broke your Pinkie Promise! Apologize!”
“Pinkie, Ah did not break my promise!” the orange mare yelled back.
“Wha?”
“If ya’ll reckon back, Ah told you that Ah would tell you everthin’ AT breakfast! But Ah didn’t come to breakfast. Ah couldn’t come to that breakfast! Not if it meant tellin’ ya’ll what happened.”
The pink pony was baffled. Technically, Applejack was right. “Well, I… I-”
“Ah’m sorry Pinkie, but Ah can’t tell ya’ll the truth. Ah just can’t!”
“Well, I heard a sorry in there, so that’ll have to do for now. I’ll get a real apology later. RARITY CATCH ME!”
“What? Pinkie-”
The white mare’s eyes widened as the pink pony came flying at her backwards from Applejack’s station wagon. She screamed. Pinkie slammed into her at full force, knocking them both onto the dirt road rolling as the station wagon and cart dashed off at breakneck speed.
“Rainbow! Turn back!” Twilight bellowed.
“There’s no time. They knew what they were getting into,” the blue pegasus retorted, as she kept running.
Of the two of them, Pinkie was the first to sit up, Rarity nursed her head as she followed. She shook her head, spit a piece of cacti out her mouth and glared at the pink earth pony whose smile beamed innocently back at her.
“Nice catch!” the party pony said.
The white mare’s left eye twitched and she suddenly smiled. “Pinkie, darling,” the unicorn started, “Do you mind telling me WHAT IN THE NAME OF EQUESTRIA YOU WERE THINKING WHEN YOU JUMPED?!”
“That… you would catch me?”
Rarity’s teeth sank into her lower lip and she growled before releasing a deep breath. “Calm yourself now Rarity,” the unicorn told herself, “it is un-lady like to anger so easily. We’ll just follow them on hoof as best we can.”
“And with these wheel tracks in the ground, getting back to our friends will be easy peasy mozzarella cheesy!”
Rarity threw an unnoticed annoyed scowl at Pinkie Pie and the two ponies set off to catch up with their friends. They followed the two sets of seemingly endless tracks until they cut off at a railroad.
“They… they stop here,” the unicorn said.
“What do we do now?”
“Well, if we follow the train tracks, eventually it’ll lead us back to the train station in Canterlot. We can buy two tickets to the next train and we’ll be home in no time.”
“But which way toward town?” the pink pony inquired.
Rarity looked left, then right. She was just as clueless as her energetic friend. “Oh my… I guess, Eenie Meenie Miney Moe?”
“Ooh ooh ooh! Can we do it Pinkie Pie style, pretty pleeeeeeeeease?”
“How do you-?”
The pink mare jumped onto the tracks and pointed her hoof left and right as she sang.
“Pinkameana Diane Pie!
Stick a cupcake in your eye!
If I had wings I would fly!
Pinkameana Diane Pie!”
The unicorn rubbed her head and groaned. “Right it is then.” Rarity began walking while Pinkie Pie bounced beside her.
“Didja like my rhyme?”
“It was very…creative…”
“Thanks! I have one for everypony! Listen to this one,” the pink pony cleared her throat.
“Rarity is such a priss,
That all the colts wanna kiss
But they must remember this,
She’s a lady and a miss!”
The unicorn’s cheeks flushed red with vanity. “My, how clev-”
“Swiftest pony? Rainbow Dash.
That pegasus flies so fast!
She will never come in last,
Being her must be a blast!”
“Pinkie, darling, now when you say everypony, do you mean-?”
“Everypony in Ponyville!”
Rarity’s eyes widened as Pinkie began to perform her next rhyme about Flutttershy, Twilight and then Applejack. For the next hour, the pink pony recited rhymes about Lyra, Bon Bon, Carrot Top, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, Cheerilee, Derpy and more. Each rhyme just as energetically delivered as the last. The blazing sun above cascaded them with superfluous heat as they trekked along. The unicorn shook her head, the temperature, along with Pinkie’s voice, was starting to unnerve her. She took a second to rest while the pink pony continued to bounce around singing her rhymes.
“Colgate has a shiny smile
That never goes out of style
She will always-”
“Pinkie Pie! While I appreciate you sharing your creativity, do you think you could… be quiet?”
“Okey Dokey Lokey!” the pink equine said.
The unicorn let out of sigh of relief as the only sounds that filled her head were the pounding of hooves as her pink friend bounced around and the occasional squawk of passing birds. She tried to imagine herself on a beach, by the water; lying face down on a cushion receiving the massage of a life time. A cool ocean breeze washing over her while a muscular colt pressed his gentle hooves into her back kneading away all the tension as she slowly melted in euphoric relaxation. Two more colts would fan her from either side. Another one would approach her and serve her an ice cold drink. She’d wrap her lips around the straw and moan sensually as a blend of fresh fruit juices drenched her taste buds.
“Rarity! Looky!”
The white mare’s eyes snapped as her day dream was invaded by the high pitched perky voice of her friend. She sat up and cast her gaze toward where the pink pony pointed. Not too far in front of them was a hoof-cart. It appeared just sturdy enough to hold both of them. Rarity sighed.
“Well, at least two of my legs can rest…” the white equine thought.
******************************
The pink pony continued to stare at her friend, awaiting an answer.
“Rare? Ya there?”
“Hm? Oh, sorry, Pinkie… No, I’m not mad at you anymore darling. It’s just… ugh.” The unicorn stopped her rhythmic pumping and wiped the sweat of her forehead. “Why would they just leave us? It’s been almost three hours; surely if they were looking they would’ve found us by now?”
Pinkie shrugged as she stopped pumping. “Maybe they thought we went back to town and got sooooo worried that they started a search party and are looking for us there.”
Rarity shook her head in disbelief trying to comprehend the pink mare’s absurd statement. “I… suppose? But how do we even know we’re going in the right direction? What if we’re actually headed away from Canterlot and towards Ponyville?” the unicorn gasped, “What if we’re not even on the right set of tracks?”
“Only one way to find out!” Pinkie exclaimed putting her hooves back on the lever.
Rarity moaned. She was completely exhausted and hadn’t seen any sign of another pony or living thing since they started.
The fact that the pink earth pony still had so much optimistic energy was quite astonishing and a tad annoying. One thing was clear however; staying in place wasn’t getting them anywhere. Rarity took a deep breath, placed her hooves back on her lever and the two ponies regained a steady rhythm.