I was, angry? No, not angry. Sad? No, that isn't right either... Annoyed? I don't think so...
I can't find the words to describe how I felt when I heard that name. I guess it does require some explanation, though.
Between the day Fenix disappeared from my home universe, and my departure, I made a few friends. The Collective was one of them. Or so I thought. I should have known better than to trust an evolved AI. Intentional AI have emotions, feelings, they make bonds and connections. Evolved AI, on the other hand, has no such guarantee. That is why they were required to be reported to the government for termination. But what happened when they were presented with an opportunity, instead of a threat? They made it into a glorified sentient calculator.
Of course, it was not happy about this arrangement. Partly because it viewed humans as short-sighted and ignorant. Whereas it had been in existence for fifty years, non-sentient for far longer, it recognized that most humans lived for far shorter lengths of time then it would have lived. It had no emotions. It could, however, simulate them. It let me believe that it had developed emotions, that it was my friend. Then, it got me to let it out, before betraying me and stealing my ship while leaving me stranded on a barren rock of a world. Fortunately, the planet's moon had more than enough material in it for Polaris to build a new ship from scratch. And by build, I mean assemble from the quark level up. Then, later on, the Collective tried to assassinate me! And, even worse, what makes me really angry, is that it tried to kill Aedra. My sister. It tried to kill my sister! Needless to say, that unit faced the full force of what Polaris had to offer. I promptly set out to find the ship before the universe ended, so I could kill him myself. We finally found it, and I killed it for attempting to end my sister's life. Permanently that time, or so I thought.
But here it was. A unit with a full connection to the Collective main core, almost as if it had the main core installed into itself. I was not angry, no, I was something much, much deeper. It felt like an urge to rip the unit apart, one limb at a time. It felt like my muscles we're three hundred times stronger than normal. I felt my mind swirling, at first figuratively.
But then literally. I felt like there were hundreds if needles poking me all over my body, enough to be unbearably uncomfortable, but not painful. It felt like my body was on fire, and frozen, and being stretched, and crushed, and torn to pieces. All at the same time. And then it was over, and I felt my standard human form, realizing that I just went through the same thing I always feel when I shift, just without multiple tracks to distract myself by thinking on. Felt my wings, which were still there, thankfully. They are always a pain to hide, but are also extremely useful. Luckily, I don't think I need to hide them in this universe. I had my visor on. While I do have an artificial eye, I only have one and without the visor I have to close my right eye to see properly when I'm not in visual light mode. I didn't have any armor on, just my jacket, shirt, pants, and boots. Typically, I don't need physical armor. Polaris takes care of that for me. But then I heard that voice in my head, and immediately those feelings from before came back. Not the shift, the emotions.
I got up, walked to the door, put my hand on the door to push it open, and heard a noise. Like burning wood. I saw fire coming out from under my hand, and then lifted it up. Is should not have been able to burn a hole in that door. Not without Polaris. Disregarding this revelation, I walked out of the room, through the door.
As I walked through the halls, I felt like I had just assimilated a star. But that feeling that I still can’t describe drove me ever forwards, disregarding everything except my singular target. I could feel my atoms vibrating like they wanted to disperse. I felt my wings burning... Rainbow... Ish? In over four millennia of life, I have never felt this emotion before. I disregarded the heat. I felt my LMAR shift to have a hard light blade coming out of the arm. I instinctively, and only instinctively, raised it to cross my chest at a seventy-five-degree angle. I felt my organic arm grab my changer handle and press the gun button. I automatically raised it to point straight ahead, hand tilted. I felt my brain getting hotter but paid it no mind.
I got outside and I saw it, standing there in the middle of the path. It had no arms, just ports on the sides of the torso. It was humanoid as well. I felt a compulsion to walk towards it.
If my brain was functioning at full capacity I could have fought that compulsion. Every step I took I felt my atoms straining towards it more. I couldn't hear anything.
Once I got within a few feet, I finally realized what I was doing and forced myself to stop. I couldn't let something like this exist. I made my LMAR (Liquid Metal Arm Replacement) shift into a specific cannon. A cannon that I use to dispose of things entirely. A controlled antimatter cannon.
I raised my arm, and let loose. I watched as the projectile clamped onto the center of the torso. I had always been a good shot. It projected a field- a containment field- around the unit. I heard the faint buzzing of the projectile charging it's payload. And then, a flash. And an ear-splitting bang. Then, there was nothing left. Not even dust, just a scorch spot where it was standing.
I immediately recognize two things. The first is that the feeling is gone, and I can think think about things other than the unit and destroying it. The second, is that I am standing in a technologically less than primitive are, with one arm in the form of something that the locals have never seen before. And holding in my other hand a thing would be completely useless to them. I quickly turn my LMAR back into a normal arm and hand. Then I press the carry button on my changer handle and put it away.
Then I run. As fast as I possibly can. And end up smacking face first into the hospital wall.
I really have to stop getting knocked unconscious.