I didn't venture out of my cell the next morning. Instead, I just asked Iron Bastion to close the door and let anyone who was visiting know that I didn't want visitors. They could force me to grant them audience, of course, as I wasn't a resident. I was a prisoner. I didn't have that right, technically. But being a privileged prisoner, I made my "request" quite clear.
I needed the time to process. A pony that had been near me fairly regularly for days now had been revealed to also be the pony that was burned into the back of my mind as a thing to fear above all reason. The concept was about as easy an idea for me to chew on as a quality jaw breaker.
The morning went by without incident, save for Iron Bastion insisting I needed to eat or he'd be forced to call somepony. When shift change came for Sharp Sentry to come relieve the crystal pony guard, I found my peace and quiet being disturbed by a rather insistent visitor.
I saw princess Celestia enter my cell, standing there in silence. Her face was uneasy, quietly asking for me to start the conversation.
I sat up on my bed, stretched the parts of me that felt that they couldn't wait, then pressed on my amulet and looked her in the eyes.
"If you're here to apologize for your sister, there's no need. I understand why she did it. She needed the disguise to get to know me without me bunching up in fear. I just need to process it and let it settle in my mind before we cross paths again."
Her unease didn't dissipate, but a smile formed on the princess's face none the less. "Actually, that was only a fringe benefit to the exercise she was doing with that form, though I am glad you understand."
She composed herself, masking her unease with a calm, professional face. "However, that is not why I am here. Some developments have happened, and we need to act quickly."
She turned to the cell door and called out. "Thank you for waiting. Please come in."
Looking to the door of my cell, I saw Zecora, the pony I recognized as Tree Hugger and the Speaker of the Fey come into sight and enter my cell too.
The look on the Speaker's face held complete contempt for me. "First things first!" He called in a voice of restrained anger, "We need to test him. If he fails, then the deal is off!"
I looked around the cell with an uneasy glance to each occupant. "Test?"
I could see the princess give an exhausted sigh. "He means he needs to do something to find out something about you. If he is satisfied, we can proceed."
"Not once in your time here have you spoken with the Animus Mundi," Zecora spoke in rhyme, much to my annoyance. "When a servant or Fey do so, all others connected hear what our mother knows them to be. If you connect to her and we learn what she sees in you, then forward we can go on tasks we need to do."
The speaker came forward. "Normally we learn to tune out this aspect of her voice as white noise in a few months of connecting with her, but if the ponies are so insistent on their-" he brought his hands up and shook them about in a mocking fashion. "-'astral judgement' being accurate, then they wouldn't mind us using this as our own variant."
I looked around uneasy. "This isn't going to hurt, is it?"
Celestia gave me a comforting smile. "It is nothing like the astral judgement, if that is what you are worried about. Zecora has actually performed the very same feat we will be asking you to do countless times. The process is harmless, but only those with a bond can perform it, such as the Fey, the servants, and hopefully yourself. We just need to let them be present and connected to the Animus Mundi while we guide you to do the same."
The Speaker looked back at me when the princess was done. I could feel the bitterness in his voice as he forced the words out. "If our surrogate mother notices nothing about you that upholds your status as the threat you are accused of being, then we will honor a pending arrangement with Equestria to have you work off your sentence for the crime you committed instead of punishment."
I looked at him weird. "What crime?"
I could swear he just about lost his cool and jumped me before restraining himself. "While the ponies claimed that your 'Jah' is not what we understand to be an exalted being that feeds off its followers, and that the quintessence you used was a different source, they still stated you recognize this 'Jah' as a being to be worshiped. With the ways the laws are written in the pony lands, that is not illegal, but by the laws of our forest, it is most definitely still a crime. A crime you committed while in our forest."
It took all my effort to not look him square in the eyes and state it was a crime I would do again if needed.
We had gone down to the study for more room, with a few more familiar faces watching on. Starlight had to hold Sunburst back from wanting to charge forward and bombard Zecora, Tree Hugger and the Speaker with questions. Fluttershy was by my side acting as some kind of support, and princess Twilight was working as hard as she could to document everything, having knocked the normal record keeper aside for being too slow.
"So, to recap, you need me to meditate and connect with the Animus Mundi so that you can watch and hear what she has to say about me?"
The Speaker nodded. "Zecora and I will activate our connections first. While connected, I will be witness to the Animus Mundi's words of you for the Fey, and Zecora will witness for Equestria's interests. Meanwhile, Tree Hugger will act as your guide to opening up to her."
Zecora stepped forth and smiled at me. "Do not fret if you cannot hear your new mother's voice, or at least hear it very clear." She gave a confident turn and went to sit on her prepared mat. "We who are trained will hear it just fine, provided we stay near."
The words 'new mother's voice' rang in my mind. I had no problem talking to the planet for them, but the way she said that reminded me too much of preachers back in my home world. Knew everything and was certain they were right and everything worked the way they said it did and people should follow them blindly.
"Shut the hell up!" I shouted at her, surprising the whole room. "Just because I'm stuck here doesn't mean I can forget where I came from like nothing happened! I'm not her child, nor would you want one of my kind to be!"
Every creature in the room stared at me in shock.
The princess came a step forward. "I know from the reports that you have your reservations of you own kind, but surely they are not that bad. You make it sound as if they were demons."
Fluttershy tried to comfort me with a hoof on my arm, but I gently grabbed her hoof, pulled it off and moved it back towards her.
A tear rolled down my cheek as I closed my eyes. "I... You're technically right. They aren't demons. They are mortal."
I came up to them with the most solid glare I could muster. "But in some ways that makes them even worse. They will pretend to be your friends, then betray you. I don't want you thinking that they can be trusted just because I choose to cooperate."
I looked back to Zecora with that same glare. "So shut the hell up and stop trying to coddle and control me! Now, lets get this over with already."
Every creature was still staring at me. Fluttershy asked with worry, "Control you?"
It had to be her that asked. I could have shaken off any other creature in the room had they asked, even the princess, but it had to be her. I found myself unable to stay silent with her asking. So I took a breath to calm myself and explained.
"She lied to me to keep me away from the village back when I first arrived. She manipulated me into thinking what she wanted me to think. Even if it was with good intentions, I can't stand that."
Fluttershy's eyes widened as I saw her recalling the scene from when we first met.
I turned towards Tree Hugger as Fluttershy was at a loss for words. "Like I said, lets just get this over with already."
* * *
"Ah! For the love of all things sacred, please stop!" I called out.
Shortly before hand, Tree Hugger had given an attempt to sooth me with what she called "calming auditory therapy to open my connection with positive vibes." It was the third thing we had tried to get me to open up.
"I don't mean to be rude, Tree Hugger," I called out as I steadied myself, "but that sounded more like a dying animal wailing while also getting violated than anything calming, at least to me."
She just titled her head in a calm form and smiled, oddly not offended. "That is the ticket, an honest answer from the heart. If we can keep open like this we can find something eventually. Different creatures have different paths to a calming center. Once enough paths have been walked, we will stumble upon one that lets the world open up to you."
I steadied my breathing again and tried to focus my mind back to the task at hand.
"I can only imagine what kind of exercises it takes to open one's mind to the Animus Mundi," Sunburst said in excitement. With about half an hour of nothing but me stumbling through Tree Hugger's advice, he was the only one in the room still excited.
Tree Hugger turned in a calm fashion to Sunburst. "Loving the positive vibes you're giving off, Æther dude, but it's not the mind we're trying to open up."
He and I both looked at her weird. "Wait, what?" we both called to her in unison.
She went even more relaxed than usual and started to sway in her seat, bringing her forehooves to her temples. "Æther is used with the mind. Whether it's by clear and calculated thoughts or through sheer force of will, any advanced Æther manipulation is done purely through the mind."
Once she finished this part, she kept swaying and brought her hooves down to her barrel. "The Animus Mundi, however, doesn't care about the mind. She cares about the heart. Her magic isn't based on thought or knowledge, but rather our amount of faith and-"
"Wisdom!" I called out, interrupting her.
Everypony who wasn't in a trance looked at me in slight shock. Tree Hugger simply gave a calm smile, nodded and confirmed what I said. "That's right. Way to go."
I looked at Starlight. "Do you remember when I said there were different classes in the game? Intelligence was what wizards used to cast their spells, but druids used Wisdom. Maybe I'm approaching this wrong. I have an idea."
I looked back at Tree Hugger. "I've managed to cast a few spells while studying under Starlight. With one of them I worked more with feeling it, rather than thinking it. Do you mind helping me with that positive vibe thing again, but with a twist?"
Tree Hugger grinned as wide as her chill face would allow. "Absolutely, Fish Dude. Just tell me what you're needing."
I calmed myself a little and mentally tried to recall a few instances from my past experiences. I held onto one with emphasis of what I was feeling, then combined it with another that was more recent.
I turned back behind myself and found an open area of the room where nopony was standing.
"Gelu!" I called out, sending a fluff of white essence of frost out of my hand and onto the wall where I was aiming. I wasn't trying to hit anything, but rather noted how I went about casting the spell I just did. That is to say, the druid spell I just did.
I turned back around with my eyes closed and a nod at understanding what I was feeling.
I opened my eyes and focused on Tree Hugger. "OK, I'm going to remove my amulet and start chanting. Just repeat whatever you hear me say in rhythm."
I just about took off my amulet before I turned to Sharp Sentry with a slight scowl.
"This is going to be rather personal and embarrassing." I eyeballed his amulet. "Do what you got to do as a guard, but otherwise you tell nobody what you hear, OK?"
He looked at princess Celestia, who nodded back at him, then he turned and nodded at me in confirmation.
I closed my eyes, squeezed Fluttershy's hoof, then took off my amulet and started to chant.
"Que que natora. You will understand. Listen with your heart..." I continued through the song and signaled when it ended. After a few times through, Tree Hugger was chanting with me in harmony. Oddly, her raw English was pretty good, despite not knowing what she was saying.
As we chanted a few times through, I stopped trying to focus on the words and took the songs advice of letting it "break upon me, like a wave upon the sand."
It didn't happen right away, but after a few more chants, I started to feel something. I wanted to hold on to it, but it faded as soon as I started analyzing it with my mind. When I realized this, I went back to chanting and soon felt that same presence. It was stronger than before and I quickly found it overtaking me with great intensity. I didn't know what was in store, but I knew right then I was past the point of no return.