Wedding Bell Blues

by Darth Link 22


An Underwhelming Ending

The castle’s event hall had been decorated for this wedding just as beautifully as the first, which is what made it all the more obvious that this wasn’t the same happy occasion as a few days ago.

Celestia was standing in front from where she would be officiating the wedding. She was still sipping at her flask, muttering about how it would all be over soon.

Shining Armor stood in front, dressed in his best tuxedo, and shivering like he was facing the headspony’s axe, a simile that did not come to his mind out of nowhere. Cadance, who had decided to take the groom’s place in this ceremony, was standing by his side, looking absolutely giddy.

The doors opened, and the brides walked in.

Okay, only one bride walked in, Chrysalis. Twilight was dragged into the room kicking and screaming by three guards. Even with a seal on her horn, she was putting up quite the fight. Still, the guards eventually dumped her in front of the wedding party, next to her future wife.

“This is the part where I get rescued, right?” she said hopefully. “I get my happy ending?” She looked at her bridesmaids. Rainbow Dash was being propped up by Applejack and Rarity, as she was still severely concussed. Pinkie and Fluttershy were making out.

She looked into the crowd. Her mother was holding up a sign that said, “You better know a spell that can get two mares to give me grandfoals.”

Her father held up a sign saying “BTW really great you’re okay. Sorry we haven’t been there until now.”

Suddenly the doors to the event hall burst opened. Trixie Lulamoon was on other side, looking determined.

“Stop the wedding!”

“Trixie! Are you here to rescue me?!” Twilight said, feeling hope rise in her heart.

“Of course! Because I love you! You’re mine!”

“...Still less awkward than being molested by my old babysitter,” Twilight said. “I’ll take it!“

“Wait a moment,” Cadance said, looking at Trixie, her eyes covering every inch of her body. “You know, I’m willing to go polygamy, and you’re pretty hot...”


Twilight sobbed even harder as Trixie and Cadance stood to either side of her. This was the ultimate nightmare. She had to get out of here. She silently prayed to Luna to let her wake up.

And then, at that moment, the most amazing thing happened.

At that moment, a rift in the space-time continuum opened, and a strange creature emerged from it. It looked a lot like Twilight, except that it looked kind of like a hairless monkey. Whatever it was, it was wearing a revealing suit and a mask over its eyes.

“Finally,” she (it sounded like a girl) said. “I made it to this world of magic! I’ve done it! Now I can get it all!”

“What the?”

“No way!”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen until later in canon!” Pinkie said.

Twilight felt her mind snap in two. “What... what’s going on? What is all this?”

“Corn dog, corn dog, yummy yummy yummy!” Shining Armor said, as he and Cadance juggled said items in between them.

“H-huh?”

“I’m just as confused as you are, Kevin,” Zecora said in a deep, masculine voice as she sat at a tea table with the strange girl, Trixie, and Chrysalis, all of whom were casually sipping coffee.

“What?” Twilight said.

“Eh, it’s all so unfulfilling,” Discord said. He was dressed in a nice suit. “It will all end before too long.”

“What?”

“Check it out, Twilight!” Spike said, suddenly flying up to her. “I have wings now,” he said showing off the two leathery wings on his back. “And so do all of my girlfriends.” Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Babs Seed flew up next to him.  All three had horns and wings now.

“What?”

“And so do you!”

“Huh?” She looked at her back. There were two feathery wings there.

“What?”

“Twilight!” A strapping Pegasus in a yellow coat appeared before him. “I have been searching for you, my beautiful princess. I am Flash Sentry, a brave knight,” he got down on one knee. “I’ve come to take you away from all this! Will you marry me?”

Twilight blushed. A strapping stallion like this was in love with her? It was almost too good to be true.

Wait...

“I'm dreaming aren't I?” she asked.

“That would explain all the weird stuff going on,” Flash said.

“Oh no, stuff like that happens to me all the time. But a stallion that’s actually interested in me? I have to be dreaming. There's no other explanation.”

“Wow. You have some serious self-esteem issues.”


Twilight slowly returned to consciousness, the first thing she heard was a steady beeping in the heart monitor. She opened her eyes to a blurry world. As she tried to move her forelegs, she realized that she had an IV needle sticking out of each of them.

“I think she's waking up,”  she heard a voice say. Almost immediately there was the noise of movement, and her vision of the room was obscured by several blurry figures gathering around her bed. As her vision came into focus she realized it was all her friends. The other bearers of the Elements of Harmony, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, her family, her parents and brother, and Princess Cadence.

“Twilight, we’re so, so, so sorry,”  Rainbow Dash was the first to speak. As her vision came into focus, she realized she'd been crying, her eyes were red and bloodshot.

Celestia bent down and nuzzled her. “It's over, Twilight. The Changelings are gone. It took us a while to find you afterward, but we succeeded.”

Memories started coming back into focus for Twilight. Not being believed at the reception, the Queen of the Changelings trapping her underground with Cadence, the real Cadence. And the three long days afterwards, with no water, or food. Slowly giving up hope that her friends would come looking for her. And finally blacking out in Cadence’s forelegs.

Twilight opened her mouth to try to speak, but her swollen tongue and sore throat made it near impossible to say anything coherently.

“Save your strength,” Celestia said. “You've been through quite the horrible ordeal. I promise I will answer all your questions when you've recovered a bit. Thankfully, there do not seem to be any casualties from the invasion, and I'm certain that any collateral damage can be reversed within a week.”

“Yeah,” Applejack said. “That means we can get right back on with the wedding before too long.”

Twilight blinked. The wedding? They were still that concerned for the wedding?

“That's right, Darling!” Rarity said, holding up the same wedding dress she had been wearing in her dream. “You and Cadence will be married by this time next week!”

Twilight bolted upright. “What?” she said. She turned to Cadence, it was now in her wedding dress, smiling at her seductively.

“Hey beautiful!”

“... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”


Twilight bolted upright. She looked around. She was back in her library, safe and sound.

She let out a sigh and flopped back down on the bed. “Oh, thank Celestia,” she said. “It was all just a horrible dream.”

Cadance’s foreleg draped across her. “What was it about, beautiful?”

“... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”


Twilight bolted upright screaming. After a few deep breaths, she collected herself. What had that been?

Before her eyes could adjust to the dark, she heard a tapping on the door. “Twilight? Everything okay?”

“I... I had a weird dream,” Twilight said. She reached for the bedside and grabbed her glasses, putting them on.

Cadance entered the room, looking at her charge with concern. “A nightmare?”

“I... don’t know what to call it,” she said. She felt movement as Spike jumped onto the bed. He nuzzled against her. Twilight returned the affection by scratching behind his ears.

Cadance sat down on the bed and placed an arm around her. “Is it about...” she trailed off, not sure if she should bring it up.

“No, nothing about that,” Twilight said. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“I was just about to go to bed. And your brother? He could sleep through an earthquake.”

Twilight was silent at this. Cadance sat with her, as she had done several times when she was only Twilight’s babysitter. But now, she had to be a parent.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cadance finally asked.

“No... I think I’m fine,” she said. “It’s just... I think I better not watch cartoons just before bed.”