"You," I point to Snake as we run toward the battalion of tanks that have luckily continued to be ignorant of our existence. "I've seen Teen Titans, go wreck shit." Snake nods and goes cheetah long enough to launch his humming bird form at rather excessive speeds. "Technia? What can you make for weapons?"
"I'm already on it." alongside her the ground is being torn apart as she summons the materials needed to create her latest gadget. I can only hope it's devastating. Glancing towards the tanks I quickly remove my sunglasses, making sure to keep them on my person so that a new pair doesn't rematerialize on my face. With my natural nocturnal vision I can't help but smile as a Tyrannosaurus Rex materializes in the midst of the slow moving fleet. Unleashing a spectacular roar straight out of Jurassic Park. The soldiers on foot turn to face the new threat and unleash a hail of bullets. Another roar and the dinosaur begins ripping into the humans. It's thick hide absorbing most of the ballistic damage.
"Syntax? How good are you with those guns?" Instead of a verbal answer he pulls them both out and squeezes off a multitude of rounds, nearly convincing me that they were sub machine guns rather than simple pistols. Refocusing my gaze on the growing tanks I watched as several soldiers went down. But not all. It's enough of a distraction and T Rex Snake flings a tank away before taking a form too small for me to see. A bright light flashes directly next to me followed by a loud boom. Convinced that one of the abrams nearly hit me I whirl. But there is no damage. Only a smiling grey unicorn and a rising light. I follow it into the night sky as it briefly blots out the stars with it's own light pollution. Flickering it bears downwards again, landing directly into the nearest tank.
"Gotta love Javelins. Thank you Battlefield 3." Technia laughs as she rips more material from the earth. The tank that was hit erupted into a small mushroom of fire which became thick black smoke that reached into the heavens. One of it's occupants made it out, bathed in flame and screaming. He writhed on the ground in agony before silencing. His charred corpse casting an orange glow on the grass around him. The fire that danced in the carcass of the tanks provided enough light to make the rest of the battalion visible even without visual enhancements. Natural or otherwise. Three tanks remained, flanked by at least fifteen foot-mobiles. The Javelin shot alerting them all to our presence.
"Twilight! Get me, Pascal, Arrow and Syntax into the middle of that. Then get you and Technia somewhere safe!" I ordered.
"I can handle myself!" Technia protested.
"I didn't say out of the battle, I said safe. You're a serious ranged combatant. You need range. Twilight! NOW!" I say, as the barrels of three tanks lock on to us. In a flash of white we find ourselves no longer in the darkness of the night covered fields, but within the orange light of fire lit tan armor. Before anyone can react I hop onto the tank nearest me. Intent on poking holes in it's driver an gunner. Pascal beating the ever loving shit out of soldiers and occasionally electrocuting them while Syntax proceeds to turn them into holey flesh cubes using a combination of his right hand pistol and left arm's Prototype blade. Arrow shot soldier after soldier in the face as it was the only area unprotected by their gear. After some trial and error I finally mange to open the hatch. Before I stab them silly I get a moment of inspiration. "I'll take that, souvenir, if you will." I reach down and grab a ring and quickly shut the hatch. Blocking their shocked faces. Scrabbling off the tank as fast as I can I chuckled as it's frame bulged slightly and the tank stopped moving entiely. The hatch that wasn't resealed blew open as the concussive force of the driver's pinless grenade went off.
Of course, taking the time to admire your handiwork is not a good idea in the heat of battle. And I was promptly reminded of that when a bullet tore through my left shoulder. Let me tell you, getting shot? SUCKS. The searing pain brought to me to my knees. We still had two tanks to get rid of and we were down a beast boy and a reckless bastard. That bastard being me, of course.
"We need.. to fucking BAIL!" I shout, as much over my own pain as the roar of battle.
"But we're winning!" Pascal shouted, appearing to enjoy himself. I was about to explain our predicament, when it became bad enough on it's own to render such conversation moot. On the horizon a field of headlights and armor created a cloud of dust as it approached. The familiar sound of chopper blades slashing the air grew and faded as they passed us by, heading directly to Canterlot. The ground force was roughly 10 times the one we were fighting. With APC's and jeeps and everything.
"Okay." Said, Arrow. "To quote Monty Python: 'RUN AWAY!'" And that we did. Syntax grabbed me in an attempt to aid me in our escape, causing me to scream like a little bitch. Looking back one of two tanks lined up a shot. Looking to remove our entire group from existence in a singular blast.
Eyes wide I began to chant loudly, "Move it move it move it run run run run RUN!" But the tank never takes the shot. It's massive barrel pointing to where we were mere seconds ago. Behind the tanks I watch the headlights of the various vehicles flicker off in quick succession. cascading from the center of the line. The six helicopters ahead of us have also doused their lights. Though I don't think they're doing it on purpose. I could tell because they were spinning and falling, their rotors still. As each one landed they exploded. Fire balls shot into the sky. Metallic debris rained down on us as we ran northward. Stabbing into the ground at our feet. Quick waves of physical sound rocked us during our sprint. Thick columns of black smoke leaned to the right, orange light flickering at the base of each column.
"What was that?" Pascal asked, slowing.
"I don't give a shit! Whatever happened let's take advantage and vanish!" I shout, despite the newly acquired quiet. The pain in my shoulder overriding my basic sense of decency. I curse the night's high pollen and dust count as some managed to find their way into each of my eyes, causing them to water. Or, if you wanna get technical about it, I cried. A lot. Pain does things to tear ducts. Don't believe me? Shoot yourself. Let's see how much dust is in your house on that day. Barreling towards the mountain I catch sight of Twilight and Technia sitting on the edge of a cliff face. "Twilight! Get us out of here!" I shout and soon after we're surrounded by a familiar purple light. When it dissipates we're once again in a new location. Unprepared, Syntax and Pascal trip over their own momentum. And I slam into the ground, sending a new wave of agony to tear at my shoulder.
"Soulless!" Twilight runs over to me, eyes wide at the dark crimson wetness that coats my trench coat. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I spit, "I bleed all over the place from bullet wounds every Tuesday."
"You don't need to be a dick about it. She's only worried, man." Arrow said, shaking his head.
"Someone hold him down." Syntax says, a field of purple magic the immobilizes me as Syntax leans over me, pulling out his first aid box. "This... is going to hurt. A lot." Wide eyed, I try to struggle against Twilight's magic as he uses the hole made by the bullet wound to help him stab me with pliers. The bullet seemed to cause less pain than this. Screaming I try to flail around, to no avail. With an emotionless expression on his mask, Syntax continues digging around the meat of my shoulder. He pulls out in in the pliers is a 5.56mm round, soaked in my blood. As he sews me up, causing me pain, but less than what I've experienced recently I hear a conversation.
"So.... what the hell happened?" Pascal asked.
"EMP. Electro-Magnetic Pulse. Worked wonders, if I do say so myself." Technia answered.
"Technia, I could kiss you." Arrow chirped.
"I'm not gay." She responded.
"Good thing I'm not female then," Arrow responded, leaning in and puckering his lips. Only to receive a face full of hoof.
"I've only been a female for a few months. And I'm not gay. Nor am I even your species anymore. So don't do that again."
"Y'all suck." Arrow complained, rubbing his cheek. "Back on earth I was a dirty fat stoner, and I still got laid. Now I'm a hot piece of blonde ass, and I get none? You must be prudes." Arrow turns to Twilight who has released me. Syntax having finished his stitching. "Twilight, you wanna experiment with some inter species relations? For science?"
"You're disgusting, man." I respond. And it seems Twilight agrees as she bucks him right in his blue balls.
"That's okay," he squeaks "Kids are overrated anyway." holding himself he curls into the fetal position, eyes watering from similar dust that landed in my own eyes earlier.
"Hey, anyone seen Snake?" Heads twirl looking for anything green, but the search is violently interrupted.
"YOU GREY COATED BITCH!" Technia's head is impacted by a small, sleek black object. Pascal appears enraged. "Your stupid little EMP rendered my phone fucking USELESS!"
"Whoa, calm down there, man. Wasn't your phone already useless? Not like there's a lot of cell towers in Equestria. And it was probably off too, I doubt it's had battery power for very long. So the EMP didn't do anything to it." Technia reasoned, rubbing her head.
"Oh yeah." Calmly, as though he hadn't just beamed Technia with his phone, he walked over to her, picked up his discarded communication tool, and sat next to Technia. "Hey, Techy, mind charging this for me?"
"Had you asked a minute ago, I'd have agreed. But now? No way. Find an outlet."
"Well why not?"
"You mean beside the fact you just threw that thing at me? I don't know... could be anything really."
"That's not a good reason. Just charge it. I promise I won't throw a working phone at your precious pony head." He waves it in front of Technia, who is trying not to pay attention, glowering past it. Soon however, she caves. Probably not wanting to get hit in the head again. Her horn glows and the device beeps on, the white screen casting a soft white glow on the cliff edge. "Yes!" he pumps the air. And sits down, legs straight in front of him as he messes with his phone, talking to himself.
"Um guys?" Snake says, causing us to turn our heads.
"Snake! You're back, thank Luna!" I shout, opening my arms in an invitation to hug, genuinely glad to see him. He ignores the invite however, and continues speaking.
"We've got a problem. I did some spying. They've got a huge base about sixteen miles that way. And I mean huge. And it's only getting bigger. They've found a portal to Earth and are sending in reinforcements day after day. And there's a bombing run on Canterlot planned tonight. We've only got a few hours before Canterlot is destroyed. Everyone there will die. We need to do something."
"Twilight, we're inside the anti-teleporation bubble, assuming it still exists. Can you get us up to Canterlot? Preferably right to Princess Luna?"
"I think I have enough energy for that." Twilight's horn glew brighter than it had during her last two teleports. A light purple sphere of energy enveloped the six of us, and in a flash, the City of Canterlot snapped into existence around us. Bewildered looking ponies stared at us curiously, showing not even a hint of fear. Twilight collapsed, spent. Green arms surrounded her as Arrow lifted her carefully over his shoulder. Slowly we stood, cautiously eyeing the ponies. Wincing, I was the first to speak.
"Um.. which way to the castle?" Wide-eyed, which was saying something, considering the natural hugeness of their eyes, a white unicorn stallion slowly pointed a hoof directly behind me. "Ah, thank you kind sir." I gave a quick bow and power walked off. Trying to gain as much distance as I could without running and causing a panic. Arrow, Snake, Syntax, Technia, and Pascal marched closely behind me. Easily managing my pace as I was working against the fire in my shoulder. Ponies gave us a wide berth, but otherwise went back to their normal routine. The occasional glance our way the only sign that we were a wholly unfamiliar sight.
Approaching the hugely tall, most likely marble, structure none of our mouths failed to gape. As for sheer size the show didn't do it justice. It was probably three quarters the height of the Chrysler building. And made of a series of polished, seamless white towers that even in Luna's moonlight, sparkled. Each one topped with golden onion looking domes. The many towers beautifully accented by greenery. It occurred to me that the pony who had given me directions was probably wide-eyed not at our appearance, but at our stupidity, as the castle was kind of hard to miss. At the main gate two unicorn guards crossed their spears over it. Another two pointed their spears at us. "State your business, creatures."
"We're here with an urgent warning for Princess Luna." I say.
"We come bearing gifts." Pascal adds, nudging Arrow. Who then walks to the front of the group, still out of spear range. A sleeping Twilight snoring on his shoulder, hind leg twitching adorably. Contrasting the scowl Arrow wears on his face.
"What have you done with her!" A guard asks, not entirely politely, I might add.
"Shit all." Pascal says,
"She put herself to sleep teleporting us here." Snake adds. "Does that matter?! There's a threat against Canterlot!"
"Changelings?" A guard asks, appearing to believe our answers, but still not moving his spear.
"Worse!" Syntax shouts, irritation growing.
"That's it!" Pascal pulls out a nightstick that cackles with arcing electricity.
Whoomp
"What the--"
Smack
Ooof!
"Hey, wait I sur-" Thud.
Pascal holsters his weapon and wipe-claps his hands in a motion of success and completion. "Okay. Stage 2 complete. High Scores?" Pascal mimes writing in the air. "AAA. 'Cause I'm too lazy to do my real initials. But let's be honest, you all know it was me that got that number one spot." Technia facehoofs, and the rest of us resist following suit as we trail behind Pascal through the gate.