Siiiiiiiggggghhhhh...
I am going to have to write a lot of apologies today, aren't I? This is going to interfere with both my prank war and my tea party time with Cadance, but, if I must...
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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cake...
I know you both have probably have thought nothing of what happened. From my secret letters with Pinkie Pie, it sounds like you both are very kind, and tolerant, especially of my older sister's behavior-which I...May sure to a degree-but, of course, it only makes sense, since she is your empress.
However, the prank with the teacup and the tablecloth...Honestly, sometimes she pulls out her inner trollestia way too much. She probably didn't think much of it, just wanted to have some fun, but, she didn't even know if that tablecloth was important to you or not! And, while I of course enjoy a good prank myself, I suppose I must be the one who makes reparations...
Here. Enclosed inside of this letter is the amount of bits that I believe will allow you to replace your tablecloth. Once again, I apologize for my sister, your empress...
Oh, and, uh, any chance I could order one of your cakes sometime soon? Pinkie makes the 'Mmmmmm~' sound especially appetizing~
Eager to try one of your delicious cakes,
Queen Nightmare Moon
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Dear Mayor Mare,
I'm sorry for what happened with my sister...Ever since the Appleloosa incident, she's been in a bit of a mood. A pranking mood, to be exact. Of course, she thinks she's untouchable, and, as long as she's a strong ruler, she can get away with whatever she wants, but, honestly, I think she just takes it a step too far sometimes!
In other words, I am so sorry she doodled with permanent marker on your 'Equestria's best mayor' mug. Especially since said doodle was you doing...Very crude and naughty things with a whip. Not that I'm judging! Honestly, though, you shouldn't privatize the use of a whip strictly to the mayor's office. Ponies are going to get ideas you probably don't want them to get...
While I don't quite know how much it costs just yet, I'm sure you will tell me sometime soon. In the meantime, don't let her see your whip around...
Willing to pay for a graffitied mug,
Queen Nightmare Moon
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Dear Fluttershy...
Honestly, you have to be the one who suffered the most during Daybreaker's visit. While I'm sure you were trying to help, she no doubt expected that. Just like she knew Philomena was going to come back in all her phoenixy glory, and how you were probably going to be worried sick, thinking that you had just killed the empress' favorite pet.
She has a suspiciously sick sense of humor about some things, and, just doesn't seem to want to draw the line sometimes. I bet you were horrified when Philomena turned to ashes! My sister, however, is still laughing it up. Every time I think she's done, she just starts right back up again. She doesn't always take people's feelings into account. I especially doubt she takes yours' into account, when she keeps calling you 'The moe'.
And, yes, she has treated a specific anime stereotype as if it was your actual name...
Don't worry, though! While she probably thinks you wouldn't be the type to bare her any ill will, I still think you could use some help fully getting over it.
Here are some bits for more expensive spa treatments! I hope you use them well, and, write back to me, all happy and healthy~
Glad to help you feel better,
Queen Nightmare Moon
P.S. Tell Rainbow Dash that if she's interested in guardhood, I'm still looking to fill out the ranks of my night guard. There's great health and insurance benefits involved!
Honestly, sister, we still need to talk about what all happened. You can't just-!
...Shining called me a what?
With pink polkadots?!
Well...I guess he still needs to learn his lesson then.