Derpy hooves sat on a cloud, tears in her eyes, thinking about everything that had gotten her here. She didn't quite know how she felt about all of this. It was a relief, no, it was upsetting, no she didn't want to do it, NO, she has to do it. All this time, everypony had thought she was perfectly happy, perfectly content with her life, enjoying the small things, like breaking twigs and her job, delivering mail. She knew all of this, how great everything seemed, but that one stallion, earlier today, had sent her over the edge.
Derpy walked up to his house to deliver a package, she remembered how heavy it was and that her boss said she didn't have to deliver it. She decided to take it on anyway, because it was a good day in Ponyville and worth the mild inconvenience (also because she is genuinely a good pony). What she heard when she walked up to the door was not what she was expecting.
“I am NOT the father!” Shouted the mystery pony, apparently not caring who heard. “I can't possibly be, and you know that! I can believe this is even happening right now! I hate you” Derpy's ears dropped, evading the scream, and she just started to set down the package when the door suddenly swung open. “What the hell do you want?” shouted the stallion, poking his nostrils right into her face. “Get the hell out of here, nopony wants to see you. You are a worthless piece of crap and nopony cares about you! Get the hell out of here, don't ever come back, retard!”
Derpy's tears started flowing even more when she thought about that moment, trickling over her in shame. She knows she’s not a retard. She knows what she is, and why she behaves the way she does. Still, here she was, in the middle of the night, on the highest cloud she could possibly find, with her wings tied down with a rope that had been wrapped around her several times. You could tell it was something she had done herself, with it so awkwardly positioned around her midsection. She had picked a cloud that wasn't near anyone or anything; she didn't want anyone to know what happened. They wouldn’t notice if she were gone, that’s for sure. If anything, they’d be happier with out her. All her life she had been ridiculed, from the bullies in school when she was just a filly, to that stallion from earlier today, which she had seen around before and found to be quite attractive. The fact that he of all stallions, disapproved of her made the pain sting even more.
It was time.
She wasn't going to stall anymore, she closed her eyes, one last tear rolled down her cheek, and she slowly fell over the edge of the cloud.
Over the next couple days, the ponies of Ponyville were beginning to get worried. It started with Twilight Sparkle's simple question:
“Has anyone been getting the mail lately? We're expecting a new book for the library,” her inquisitive mouth asked, wondering to her self if she could ever remember a day when Derpy had been absent from her job. She greeted her every day with a “Hi, Derpy,” and a sweet smile. She had never thought of her as different from any of the other ponies, save for her admirable punctuality.
“No, oddly enough,” said Rarity, looking off into the sky in thought.
“Us neither,” replied applejack.
“How strange,” said Twilight, looking around as if she were expecting Derpy to appear out of a corner somewhere, package in hoof. “I don't think she has ever missed a day of delivering mail. What if something happened to her?” Twilight added, with a bit of fear in her voice.
“Maybe she's watching my animals,” suggested Fluttershy, knowing how much Derpy enjoyed watching the squirrels run into the chicken coop and try to take some of their grains.
“Maybe we should go look,” Twilight Sparkle decided, starting to walk towards the direction Fluttershy comes from every day when she trots into town.
They arrived at Fluttershy's house, and they didn't see a sign of Derpy. They had all figured, somewhere in their minds, that they were wrong about the animals. After all, Derpy doesn't typically mess around when she needs to be delivering mail, but it never hurts to check. Suddenly, a thought ran through all their heads, almost as if they were all linked telepathically.
“Dash, Fluttershy, you guys fly around Ponyville and see if you can find her,” Twilight commanded, with a larger amount of fear in her voice then before. “Pinkie, you go search the shrubs and trees. Rarity and I will go look through town some more.” A slight tear tried to push it's way out of Twilight's eye, just the thought of a friend being hurt made her deeply upset. They all scattered and Twilight’s voice shook as she added, “I just hope she’s all right.”
Several frantic hours later, they met up again.
“Did anyone find her?” asked Twilight Sparkle as if she were the leader of a military search team. All six of them stood silently with their heads hung low and their ears folded down. The air filled with tension. “Well, it's getting late, and none of us know where she lives. I think we need to get some rest and pick up where we left off tomorrow.” The tension resumed after Twilight spoke and they parted ways.
Pinkie Pie lay awake in her bed that night. She couldn't sleep knowing that Derpy was out there somewhere, and she knew that something bad had happened. Pinkie got out of her bed and grabbed a blanket, not exactly to keep her warm, but because she had a weird feeling, something whispering directly into her mind, that she would need it.
Pinkie stood tall with the blanket balanced on her back, right on the edge of the Everfree Forest. She didn't know what it was, but something kept pulling her attention to it. She knew it was dangerous to go inside, let alone by herself, and in the dark, but something kept forcing her to turn her head in its direction, and she finally decided to act upon the calls that she would swear she physically heard. She entered and walked slowly and carefully. Things were squawking and snorting, and it was scaring Pinkie deeply. She remembered what had gotten them through the Everfree Forest when they were searching for the elements of harmony, she just had to laugh it all off, and it would seem less scary. It didn't. She fought the urge to turn around and run with tears streaming down her face, she had to be a strong pony. As that thought crossed her mind she reached a four way intersection in the path of the forest.
“Now what?” She silently asked her self.
Pinkie had been sitting there for a good 45 minutes when she finally decided on a path, for no particular reason. It wasn't even the one she landed on while playing “Eenie-Meenie-Miny-Moe”. Nonetheless, she continued down the path. She wasn't hopping as usual, mostly because she was terrified, and hoped that she would find Derpy soon so she would be able to take her back to Ponyville.
After walking for several hours, she had still seen no sign of the pony she had been searching for. She was starting to lose hope. Her trembling body wanted so badly to get out of the forest; she had made sure she remembered every step she took so she could get out. She didn't want to be lost looking for a lost pony. She walked down another small path and starting moving slower. There was a strange feeling in her head, and it made her feel like something was watching her every move.
As she stepped on a twig and heard a very loud crack, she turned around, horrified she would be attacked, but instead, she heard a small giggle.
Derpy sat there in the bushes.
She didn't know what it was, but something was breaking twigs. She adored the sound so much she couldn't resist letting out a slight giggle when she heard it. At the time of the fall, she hadn't realized the cloud had moved from the open spread of land she was over the Everfree forest. Half way through her fall, she had realized her mistake and tried to untangle the rope so expertly tied around her, but she couldn't do it. She knew what was coming and turned away so she wouldn't see the ground getting closer, even though it was already hard enough to see because it was so dark. Suddenly she heard a loud crashing noise and felt a huge symphony of pain take over her whole body. She had hit the tree tops and she fell through them to the bushes below, where she had been alone for almost 24 hours. Silently.
“Derpy… is that you?” She heard a quivering yet familiar voice yell out.
Muffin? Derpy thought to herself. She couldn't muster up enough energy to say anything. She was afraid this was her only chance to signal whomever it was walking by. Not knowing where she was, or why there was another there, left her with only the comfort of somepony being near to her.
The voice sounded again. “Derpy, if that's you, you need to tell me some how.”
She hadn't even thought about the fact that whoever it was had been there specifically to look for her. She couldn't believe it! Somepony really did care about her well being. This made her sore eyes start to cry. She couldn't believe she attempted to take her life, now, knowing that somepony out there did care for her.
Pinkie heard the sniffling. She followed it. “I'm coming, Derpy!” she spread two bushes and found Derpy lying there with nasty cuts and rope burn all over her body. A tear came to her eye. “Derpy, you didn't” Pinkie's heavy heart sank; she couldn't believe that the happiest pony she had ever seen had even considered, let alone attempted, suicide. Pinkie Pie's eyes started to swell and she didn't hold back anymore. She was full on crying, staring into the eyes of her friend, who was crying just as much. “Derpy, I can't believe you would do this. We love you, we all love you.”
Derpy winced at that last statement. She couldn't, no, she wouldn't believe that the word “love” could be affiliated with her. Pinkie stood there silent, then gently moved towards her. She untied the ropes and threw them aside, despising their very existence. Lying down, she whispered in Derpy's ear: “It's going to be okay.” She snuggled up to the pony heard the slight wince of pain. Pinkie began licking her coat, grooming her, doing her best to clean her wounds and move all the twigs off of her. Pinkie wouldn't admit it out loud, but she genuine enjoyed the flavor of the tree sap Derpy had been covered in. She began to tear up again. “Sorry,” Pinkie mumbled, “I'm just thinking about what I would have done without you…” Derpy’s heart sank, begging to apologize with not strength to do so. “I wouldn't have ever lived a happy day in my life again.” That was it, Derpy began bawling.
Pinkie laid the blanket down over Derpy, crawled under, and cuddled up to her. She was gently rubbing her back, and they slipped into a surprisingly pleasant sleep.
Day came, and Derpy woke up. Pinkie was still sleeping against her back. Derpy turned and just stared at her lying there. The dark hadn't given the chance to get a good look at her last night, especially through tears. She recognized her clearly now as the pony that always gave her a Muffin when she went in at sugarcube corner and “asked” for a muffin. Of course, she knew all she really did was walk in and say “muffin?” Pinkie Pie had said she, no, “they” loved her. Who were they? She decided it didn't matter right now. All that mattered was this particular pony cared about her, and was lying down on the ground with her, making sure she was as comfortable as she could possibly be. Surprisingly, the ground seemed a lot softer, the air a lot warmer, her life, a lot better, when the beautiful pink pony rested her body against hers and held her through the night. She couldn't move, but wouldn't if she could, wanting to stay here with Pinkie for as long as possible. The fact that she could possibly be somehow or another paralyzed didn't even concern her when she felt Pinkie’s warmth. She leaned over and kissed Pinkie on the forehead, which in turn, woke her up. Derpy blushed. Pinkie knew what just happened, she looked at Derpy and smiled.
“Hey there, Derpy!” She said, with an over-excited tone, as if she had forgotten the night before, but she hadn't. “While we were sleeping I had a dream that I found you dead! It was terrible. You woke me up and it all went away! Thanks!” She giggled. Suddenly her tone got straight serious, and there was not a smile to be seen on her face but only the deepening of her brow. “Derpy, I don't know what I would have done if you were gone. I love seeing you every day, and I always make sure there is a hot, fresh muffin ready for you. It sent shivers down my spine when you didn't show up yesterday.”
Derpy's eyes went straight, and Pinkies jaw dropped.
“I'm sorry Pinkie Pie” She mumbled slightly, but sincerely, with a tear glistening in her eye.
Pinkie had a wide-eyed, surprised look on her face.
“Y-y-your eyes...y- you talk?!?” Pinkie said, with an almost horrified tone
“Yeah, I do.”
“B-but, why…?”
“I like to make ponies happy, I always thought, that, even if everypony was laughing at me, it was still making them happy in some sense, and that made me feel good about the pony I am”
“So why did you…?”
Derpy cut her off: “Yesterday, a stallion yelled in my face, and told me that nopony wanted me around, and he called me a retard. It brought up some memories...the fillies in my class used to mock me, I didn't get good grades, didn't have friends, I wasn't pretty, I'm still not… Everyone hated me. I decided he was right, and acted upon it. When I was falling, tried to untangle myself, I decided there was no reason to let ponies get to me, but it was too late”
“Do you think you can wait here for a while?”
Derpy looked scared, “You're going to leave me?” she asked with a worried look on her face, fearing that Pinkie had lied about caring about her, and was going to abandon her.
“Trust me, Derpy, I'll be back soon”
“Just, d-don't tell the others” she said with a bit of a whimper
Derpy waited there in silence.
Pinkie returned with a cart she had borrowed from AppleJack, knowing that Derpy couldn't walk. Derpy knew what she was thinking and tried to climb up and she almost fell over. Pinkie caught her and pushed her up into the cart, covering her with blanket.
“Just enjoy the ride,” Pinkie said, with a cutsie grin on her face. She trotted off through the forest and made her way into Ponyville. She managed to get home with no questions as to what was in the cart. She slipped into the house.
Derpy stretched out as far as she could without causing herself any pain. Pinkie was very generous and had given up her own bed for Derpy to be comfortable. It was day time and she had to work the bakery, but Derpy hoped she would cuddle up to her when it was time for bed. Pinkie popped through the door pushing a cart.
“Hey pretty pony!” She said as she walked towards the bed.
“Hi Pinkie,” Derpy now had an embarrassed grin on her face and blushed at the site of Pinkie. Admiring Pinkie from afar had turned into an intimate fondness.
“Are you hungry?” Pinkie asked motioning towards the cart. Derpy seized the moment.
“Muffin?” she said, in a sweet, almost ashamed voice, very different from the one Pinkie had grown used to.
“Of course,” Said Pinkie, “I've also got hot chocolate and cookies, if you'd like”
“That'd be great,” Derpy smiled. Pinkie pushed the cart closer. She took the muffin, already on a plate, as she had planned on Derpy not being able to resist the urge to have one. She also set a mug down on a tray next to the muffin, placed two giant chocolate chip cookies on the plate, and put the breakfast-in-bed style tray down over Derpy, who sat up and reached for the muffin. She was interrupted, however, as Pinkie climbed on the other side of the bed and snuggled up to her, resting a soft head on Derpy's shoulder. There was a quiet sigh, as Pinkie tried to resist crying once again..
“May I snuggle?” said Pinkie, in her usual exited voice.
“Of course, I'm comfortable with anything,” said Derpy, thinking she had played it cool. She knew her heart wanted Pinkie, but her head had to keep things straight, and try to resist being too forward.
“Good,” Said Pinkie, giving her a light peck on the cheek. Derpy swore she melted, and she turned bright red. She hoped, as Pinkie settled back into the shoulder, that the blush went unnoticed.
Derpy finished her meal and rested her head against Pinkie's with a full belly. She was at ease, but it didn't last nearly as long as she wanted. As Pinkie got up to take the dishes to the kitchen and wash them, Derpy thought about asking her to stay and cuddle, but feared that was pushing it too far and thought Pinkie might find her odd. Pinkie left, and Derpy rolled over in the bed with a sigh and laid there, silently.
Derpy felt she had been laying there for days, even though it had only been a few hours. Pinkie Pie came in through the door. Her mane was straight and her tail hung heavily so Derpy thought something was wrong.
“You awake, Derpy?” Pinkie said, doing her best to be quiet.
“Mmhmm” Derpy replied, not wanting to sound too eager
“I just got out of the shower, and my mane is wet… so I'll go sleep on the couch, I don't want to get you wet. I ma-”
“NO!” Derpy yelled “Err, um, no, it's fine, I don't mind getting a little damp, it'll probably feel cool, and I'm a little too warm right now anyway”
“okie dokie lokie then!” she chirped, almost questioning the reasoning. “I made you some fudge.” Pinkie gave it to Derpy and she gobbled it up
“It's amazing!” Derpy almost yelled, “And so are you,” She whispered. She had hoped suddenly letting her feelings out would help calm her down a little, but it didn't.
“You are too,” said Pinkie with a smile. Derpy turned bright red; she hadn't said it as quiet as she initially thought. Pinkie once again climbed under the covers and pulled herself close to Derpy, wrapped her arms around her and fell asleep.
Derpy, again, was the first to wake up. She lay there facing Pinkie once again, and told herself to be braver this time. Wake her up again, but this time with a real kiss, she told herself, over and over. She finally decided to go for it, when Pinkie suddenly woke up on her own. Derpy's heart sank, “way too go, you blew it” she thought to herself. Pinkie smiled and pulled herself in even closer for a long hug.
“Good morning!” she shouted, in the way on Pinkie could.
“Morning,” said Derpy with an ashamed grin. She had missed her shot.
“I guess it's time for me to get back to work” She said, gently starting to crawl out of the bed so she wouldn't hurt Derpy any more than she already was. “Love ya!”
Derpy sank even further. “Love ya”, that's what friends say, and while she valued Pinkie's friendship, her heart longed for more.
“Any chance you can stay a little longer?” Derpy asked, and was proud of herself for being a bit more brave.
“Sure, just let me go tell Mrs. Cake,” Said Pinkie walking out of the room. Derpy pumped her hoof in victory. As she waited for Pinkie Pie to return, she thought about what she wanted to do. Did she want to just enjoy the extended cuddle time, or did she want to seize the moment, and make this day the day she tells Pinkie her true feelings about her? She felt brave, and wanted to continue.
“Sorry Derpy, Mrs. Cake really needs me in there, she's got a lot of orders to fill” Pinkie regretfully said to her, opening the door. Derpy got even sadder, and didn't hide that fact. She sank further in to the bed. “Sorry,” said Pinkie in a very sincere voice as she exited the room. Derpy was left alone again with her thoughts, and decided to go back to sleep.
She awoke to the gentle nudge of a pink hoof on her shoulder.
“Wake up sleepy head,” said Pinkie. “I brought you some lunch.” Derpy was 80% asleep and began to sleep-ish talk.
“Come lay down Pinkie Pie, I want to kiss you”
“Heh?” Pinkie was surprised at this slur. Derpy rolled over and was now awake.
“Oh, Hi Pinkie” Said Derpy, not realizing what she had just admitted in her sleep
“Hey Derpy, Muffin?” she said with a giggle. She decided to play it off as if nothing happened.
“Yes, please!” Derpy said excitedly. She wasn't very hungry, but she now did anything she could to get attention from Pinkie. Pinkie gave her the muffin with a strange look. “Something wrong?” asked Derpy, with a bit of worry in her voice”
“No, nothing, what could possibly be wrong? Nothing that's what...heh.”
“Um, okay. Well, thanks for the muffin,” Derpy replied with a sweet smile. She was then surprised with a sudden poof on the other side of the bed. Pinkie had decided to do exactly what Derpy requested in her sleep to see what would happen. She had wanted to make a move on Derpy before, but wasn't sure about the reaction. Pinkie wasn't sure if she was into mares, but she crossed her heart and hoped to fly that she was, and if she didn't… well, you might as well just stick a cupcake in her eye. She scooted ever so close to Derpy just to test the water. Derpy decided it was time to quit being afraid and planted the most passionate kiss she had ever delivered on Pinkie's soft lips. Pinkie was overtaken first by surprise, then by total warmth. Pinkie pulled away and acted surprised.
“What was that for?” she questioned “That was completely unexpected,” she said with a guilty grin.
Derpy began speaking really fast
“Pinkie, you're just...you're so amazing, you’re sweet, and you came looking for me and cook me food, and cuddle, and keep me warm, and cared for me, groomed me, cleaned me up, cuddled me, made sure I was happy, kept me entertained and cuddled me, and shared your feelings and cuddled me, and carted me here and cuddled me and I'm just so grateful, and I developed these feelings for you, and I didn't know if I should do anything about them, but they became too hard to resist, and I'm so sorry I tried to kill myself, I should have been more sensitive to you and I didn't know I'm just sorry, I'm so sorry...I l-” She was interrupted by another passionate kiss from Pinkie, this time it went on and on as they both were completely overcome with warmth, ecstasy, and pure joy.
Pinkie pulled away and said “I love you, Derpy.”
“I love you too, Muffin.”