Chapter 1: The Human
Twilight Sparkle was studying the book intently. It was a bright and sunny day, interspersed with only a few still clouds.
“Elements of Harmony…” she muttered thoughtfully. “I know I’ve heard of those before… but where?”
Twilight levitated her book into her saddlebag and began her trot home. On the way, she was stopped by a trio of unicorns talking animatedly.
“Oh, there you are, Twilight,” the middle one said. “Moondancer’s having a little get-together in the west castle courtyard. You wanna come?”
“Sorry, girls,” Twilight said, racing around the thought of socializing when she could be studying. “I’ve got a lot of studying to catch up on.”
She dashed off, racing back to her room in Canterlot Castle. As she left, she heard a voice behind her say, “Does that pony do anything besides study?”
“I think she’s more interested in books than friends,” another replied. Twilight shook off the insults and dashed back to the room.
“Elements of Harmony…” she muttered. “I know I’ve heard of them before.”
She walked into her room, searching frantically for a book. “Spike! Spi-ike! SPIKE!” she shouted. A little purple dragon with green scales on his underside peeked out of a pile of books, a torn present adorning his spade tail.
“Ah, there you are, Spike. Find me that old copy of Predictions and Prophecies.” She noticed the present box stuck to his tail. “What’s that for?”
“Well, it was supposed to be a present for Moondancer, but…” he stopped as a squeaky stuffed bear dropped from the box. Twilight shook her head.
“Oh, Spike. You know we don’t have time for that stuff.”
But we’re on a break!” Spike whined. Twilight’s horn glimmered and flashed, and books jumped off their shelves and flew towards her.
“No… no… no… no, no, no!” she muttered. “SPIKE!” she yelled.
“It’s over here!” he called from atop a huge ladder. Twilight levitated the book- with Spike still holding on- back to her. She trotted away, while Spike groaned and began to pick up the books she left behind.
“Elements, Elements… Aha!” Twilight exclaimed. “The Elements of Harmony… see Mare in the Moon?”
“Mare in the Moon?” Spike called. “But that’s just an old pony’s tale.”
“Mare in the Moon: a myth from olden pony times,” Twilight read, not taking her eyes off the book. She didn’t notice the glimmer of light that appeared to be heading for her window. “A powerful pony who wanted to rule Equestria, defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned in the moon. Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, she will return and bring nighttime eternal.” She gasped. “Spike, do you know what this means?”
“No?” Spike said, balancing precariously on the ladder he was using to replace books. With a crash, he fell and landed on Twilight’s back.
“Spike, take a- watch out!” Twilight yelled, as the gleam of something shot towards her room and crashed through the window. It flew past Spike and smashed into Twilight, knocking her out.
I groggily woke up. What happened? I was just heading to the loo to take a good piss, and then BAM! Darkness. P.S. remind me to never drink a full three liters of Mountain Dew again. Maybe that’s what made me pass out. I’d suffered from caffeine overload before, but this didn’t feel like the overpowering rush of blackness. I felt almost… comfortable.
Comfortable was not how I should feel.
I shot up, opening my eyes to the most brightly colored room I’d ever seen. Either I was in the bedroom of a six-year-old girl, or something bad happened. I wiped my eyes with my hoof and stoo- wait, hoof? I stared down at my used to be hands, trying to get my bearings. When the bloody hell did I get hooves? This had to be a dream. I slapped myself. The pain was there. Just to be sure, I took my hoof and slammed it straight into my- well, you know what I mean.
“Not a dream,” I decided, in a voice an octave higher than I normally spoke. As the pain receded from between my (hind) legs, I heard a knock from the iron door. Other than the entryway, everything looked like it cost a fortune: a red velvet sofa, solid ash coffee table, and even a real crystal chandelier. I heard a second tinny knock, and the door opened.
Let’s just say I wasn’t expecting visitors.
To be specific, my jaw actually dropped to the floor. A regal looking white horse popped through the doorway, followed by a second lavender pony, which was much smaller than the first. For some reason, my eyesight went dark. After a few second of flailing, I used a gesture of greeting that I hoped they wouldn’t recognize: I touched my hoof to my lips and said, “Atra esterní ono thelduin, Ebrithil.”
“Atra du evaŕinya ono varda, finiarel.”
I grinned widely. “So, you read the series too?”
“Why, yes,” someone said. “I especially love the character progression of Eragon and Brom in the first book. It was quite a shock when I read about him being Eragon’s father.”
“Monsieur Paolini does have a way of twisting a reader’s emotion, doesn’t he?” I asked. I and two others sat, someone apparently reading, due to the rustling of pages I kept hearing, and the other still discussing the Inheritance cycle with me.
After twenty minutes and a refreshing tea, my associate (Princess Celestia) got down to business.
“So…” she trailed off.
“Andrew.”
“Andrew, my student, Twilight, tells me you fell from the skies a few hours earlier. My question is, how did you get there? Where are you from? Who are you?”
“Um… I don’t know how I got there. I was just heading to the loo and I wound up here. As for where I’m from, it’s Wales.”
“Wales? Where’s that?”
I was seriously starting to panic by now. “Um… where exactly am I?”
“You’re in Canterlot Castle, in Equestria.”
“No…” I remembered the word Canterlot from a show my little sister used to watch: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic. My heart felt like it was boiling in my stomach acid.
“No…” I repeated. “How can I be here? I’m a human. Talking ponies don’t exist.”
All of a sudden, my eyesight came back, razor-sharp and lucid as a Jared™ diamond. I was sitting across from the lavender unicorn and Celestia. And Celestia was talking to me.
“Andrew? What’s wrong?” she asked.
“What’s wrong is that I’m a human, not some frigging pony!” I muttered. She looked at me in confusion, so I explained. For a half hour, I ranted on about me being a human, and not a unicorn. Funny thing, it turns out I was a medium grey with an ebony mane and tail, and a grey horn. My mane was kind of spiky, like the Doctor’s would be if he was a pony, but it stuck out less. To be honest, I actually thought I looked kind of cool.
After said rant, Celestia looked at me thoughtfully.
“Twilight, I think you’ve been in the library too much lately.” Twilight looked shocked. “I’m sending you, Spike, and Andrew to check on the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration and make some friends.”
I snapped out of my stupor when I heard my name. “Say what now?” Twilight agreed with a shocked look.
“It’s a crucial part of the preparations, and I don’t have the energy built up to send you back yet, Andrew.”
I sighed and locked away my negative emotions. “Sure, why not?”
Twilight still looked grumpy.
Twilight looked pissed all the way to Ponyville. Spike tried to calm her down while I looked at the vivid scenery. They didn’t have anything like this back on Earth. An abundance of trees, bursting with every fruit imaginable, rose out of the ground in thick clumps. We finally landed in an open square. So many bloody colors, I felt like I was going to contract epilepsy. I was starving, and thinking about epilepsy got me thinking about my epileptic brother. He made the best fish-and-chips in the universe. Damn you, Dominic…
Oh, I forgot about Dominic. He’s my brother, and an asshole to boot. Ever since my parents died, I was stuck in an orphanage. I met Dominic there. We became foster brothers and ran away. After two years, we each got a house right next to each other. Ah, that was the old life. Everything seemed so complex, challenging. I was starting to miss the practice of using my brain. I absently nodded and muttered thanks to the pegasi who flew us here. Oh, bloody hell. I was already starting to talk like flying ponies were a normal occurrence. I’d just finish this stuff and bide my time until Celestia builds up enough glowing magic to send me back, then dismiss it all as a dream.
“Come on, Twilight!” Spike said, still attempting to reason with the pony equivalent of the Grinch. “Maybe the ponies in Ponyville have interesting things to talk about!”
A pink pony with a -dare I say it- frazzled mane trotted up to us.
“Hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said in a formal voice that did not sound like it got much use. The pink pony gasped, jumped into the air, and sped off.
“Well,” I said. “This is awkward…”
Twilight just sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”
We walked for a few minutes until we got to a farm by the name of Sweet Apple Acres.
“First on the list, catering!” Spike exclaimed, checking a list of preparations for the festival. We trotted through the gate, marveling at all of the apple trees.
“YEEHAW!” I heard someone shout. I turned my head to see a pony with a straw-coloured mane and a cowboy hat kicking at trees. Wherever she (bucked?) them, the apples would fall into neat piles. I whistled.
“Wow, she’s cute.” Twilight looked at me irritably. “What? Just because I’m a human doesn’t mean I can’t find ponies attractive.” The farmpony was cute, and I had a hard time taking my eyes off her. She noticed us and trotted in our direction.
“Hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said in that same unused voice.
I tipped my head and stared enviously at her Stetson. “Andrew. It’s a pleasure. Love the hat, by the way.”
“Well, howdy, Andrew and Twilight!” she said cheerily. Then I saw just the slightest bit of red enter her cheeks, and she looked away. “Thanks. About the hat, I mean. Mah pa gave it me when I was just a lil’ filly.”
I winced. “Sorry if I brought up a bad memory,” I said.
The farmpony brightened. “Ah, it ain’t a problem! Name’s Applejack, by the way.”
That gave me an idea. “Applejack… do you mind if I call you AJ? Seems a bit more fitting.”
Applejack thought for a moment before smiling. “AJ. I like the sound of that. Feel free to use it anytime ya like, Andrew.” I grinned at that.
“Thanks, AJ,” I said. “We’re here to check on the prep for the Summer Sun Celebration.”
“Ooh, yer just on time, then.” She rang a triangle next to her and yelled, “SOUP’S ON, EVERYPONY!”
What must have been fifty ponies dashed out of the barn. Twilight, Spike and I suddenly found ourselves sitting at a table.
“Well, why don’t ah introduce ya to the Apple family?”
Twilight started to protest, but AJ cut her off.
“This here’s Apple Fritter,`Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp,” AJ gasped for air. “Applebloom, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith. Up and at ‘em, Granny Smith. We’ve got guests.”
The old green pony, which I assumed until now to be dead, gave a startled snort. “Wha- guests- soup’s on-”
AJ put her front leg around Twilight’s neck. “Why, ah’d say yer already part of the family!” she exclaimed. Twilight spit out her apple in shock. I couldn’t help but notice that the apple was green when she put it in her mouth, but red when she spit it out. Did she have internal bleeding or something? She turned her head to leave. I got an idea. I sneaked over to Applebloom and whispered my plan in her ear, grinning mischievously.
“Well,” Twilight said, looking annoyed, “The food’s coming along great, so I guess we’ll be off.”
“Aren’t you gonna stay for brunch?” Applebloom asked, with the best puppy-eyes I’ve ever seen. Twilight faltered. We had her hook, line and sinker.
“Well, I guess if it doesn’t take too long…” she murmured. Applebloom and I, still looking straight on, hoof-bumped each other, grinning.
A while later, Twilight was stumbling along with a bulging belly. For some reason, I was still starving. I had at least ten apple pies, but I wasn’t any fuller than a deserted islander.
“I think I ate too much pie…” Twilight moaned.
“There’s supposed to be a pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the skies,” Spike said, double-checking his list.
“She ain’t doing a bang-up job,” I muttered, just before a rainbow blur knocked me and Twilight into a mud puddle.
“Oops, sorry,” I heard some…pony? Yeah, somepony say. Unfortunately, my vision was a lavender blob because Twilight landed on top of me. “Let me help you with that.”
There was a crash of thunder, and suddenly I was soaking wet. I heard more giggles, and Twilight finally got off of me. The laughs were coming from a cyan pegasus with a rainbow-coloured mane.
“Here,” she said. I was suddenly enveloped in a rainbow tornado, the wind ripping at my mane. Once it was done and I could finally take my eyes off the seizure-inducing rainbow pony, I looked at Twilight. Her mane was sticking out in odd clumps. I busted up laughing with the other two. Spike gave me a mirror.
“Dash… I look bloody AWESOME!” I shouted. She grinned, and oddly, blushed. Oh, God. Please don’t tell me I have a pony crush. Well, I am technically crushing on a pony.
“Ugh.” Twilight stopped and started talking to Rainbow. “I hear you’re supposed to be keeping the skies clear.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Dash said, laying back on a cloud. “I’ll do that once I’m done practicing.”
“For what?”
“THE WONDERBOLTS!” Rainbow exclaimed. She pointed towards a nearby and extremely convenient poster of a group of performers.
“THE Wonderbolts?” Twilight asked, eye raised. Dash nodded. “The best fliers in all of Equestria?” she nodded again. “Please. They wouldn’t accept a pegasus who couldn’t keep the skies clear for one measly day.”
Rainbow Dash stood up, a look of anger on her face. “I could clear Ponyville in Ten. Seconds. Flat.”
“I’ll time,” I said. “Ready? Go!”
Rainbow Dash shot into the air, kicking and flying through clouds with ease. It astounded me how fast she was; it was like watching a rainbow Bullet Bill. She halted in front of us, all the clouds around her gone.
“See? Ten seconds flat.”
“Actually, Dash, that was nine seconds,” I said. Her grin widened.
“Sweet! I beat my record!” she shouted, punching the air. I said my goodbyes and Spike and I dragged Twilight to the next destination.
Once Twilight regained the ability to walk, we entered a huge gazebo-like building. A white and purple unicorn was looking at ribbons with a bored look on her face.
“Beautiful,” Spike said. He had the classic cartoon hearts-for-eyes. I thumped him on the head to snap him out of it and dragged him along.
“Excuse me…” Twilight started, but the white unicorn cut her off.
“In a moment. I’m in the zone, as it were,” she said in a melodious English accent. Finally, another Brit about this place. “Ah!” she exclaimed, tightening a red ribbon. “Sparkle always does the trick. Why, Rarity, you are a talent. Now, how can I help yo- OOOOOH!” she shrieked, staring at Twilight’s frizzing mane. “Oh my stars, darling, whatever happened to your coiffure?”
“You mean my mane?” Twilight asked. “Long story. I’m just here to check on the decorations, and then we’ll be out of your hair.”
“Out of my hair?” Rarity said, somewhat shocked. “What about your hair?” she pushed me and Twilight into separate changing rooms. I realized for the first time since I got here that ponies didn’t often wear clothes. She shoved me into suit after suit. She finally settled on a rather nondescript black one with a white undershirt and a black bow tie. I grinned to the mirror.
“The name’s Bond. James Bond,” I said to myself. And I looked like a total spy badass. I seriously wish I had a pistol or something right now. Twilight suddenly appeared in a powder-blue saddle.
“Come on, let’s get out of here before she decides to dye my coat a new color!” she shouted. She somehow grabbed me with her hoof and dragged me off.
“Hey, Spike! Get your scaly arse over here!” I yelled. He followed blearily. I swear, ponies can get drunk off of love and tolerance. After Twi and I (hey, that rhymed) snapped him out of it, he pulled out the checklist.
“All right,” he said. “Last on the list is… music!”
“Well, this shouldn’t be too boring,” I muttered. All of a sudden, I heard several birds whistling a beautiful tune that sounded oddly like the Song of Storms. I pulled out my ocarina (how the HELL did that cross over with me) and played along. It was a melodious song, both haunting and joyful. At the end, Twilight and Spike had tears in their eyes.
“Works every time,” I muttered to myself.
“Hello!” Twilight called to the conductor of the avian choir, a sunshine-yellow pegasus with a pale pink mane and tail. She shrieked, and the birds scattered. I slowly called them back with Nocturne of Shadows. I stopped in the middle of Twilight and the pegasus’ conversation.
“-it sounded beautiful. What’s your name?”
“Fluttershy.” It barely came out as a whisper.
“I’m sorry,” Twilight said. “What was that?”
Even I couldn’t hear the repetition of the name. “Didn’t quite catch that,” Twilight said apologetically. A small squeak came after. Twilight turned away to me and Spike.
“Well, that was awkward…”
“You’re telling me,” Spike said. I suddenly heard a gasp and moved just in time to see a yellow and pink blur rush by me.
“A baby dragon!” she exclaimed, elated. Twilight was knocked over by Fluttershy, her face in the dirt. I helped her up, then tuned out as I remembered a few times Dominic and I worked together through our greatest and weirdest occurrences.
It was sixth grade, and we were bored as hell. We were chilling with another friend of ours, Jason, when the school bully, Erin, walks up. He freaks Dominic and Jason out like Fluttershy. Instead of being all passive, like he thought I’d be, I used six years of Kenpo experience to kick his ass flat on the ground. After that, Erin got arrested. It turns out, he was physically abusing his girlfriend, and they found a hidden room behind his locker filled with stolen cocaine and money. To be honest, I felt kind of bad for him. He had a perfectly normal life until some idiot decided to give him cocaine, and he was a mess. He was sent to juvenile prison for ten years. Dominic, Jason, and I actually refused to testify in court. When the police asked us why, we all simply said “the guilt would drive us mad.”
You see, I always had a more philosophical approach to life. Maybe that was one of the reasons I was into the more obscure and mysterious branches of learning, like mystery and the theory on how the universe was made. One time, I even challenged Dominic and Jason to figure out how God could possibly exist. Dominic gave me the best answer I’ve ever heard: he said the residual energy released by the Big Bang must have mutated and formed a collective consciousness.
Sorry, getting off track. That’s what you get when you’re a human in a pony’s body.
Twilight, Spike and I finally got to the library. After rather rudely kicking Fluttershy out, Twilight floated Spike in through the door.
“Nice much?” I asked.
“Sorry, guys, but I have to get back to studying and I don’t need a bunch of crazy ponies getting in the way. Where’s the light?”
I fumbled across the wall, hearing light whispers and giggles in the darkness. I grinned, flicking the switch. A horde of ponies was standing in the library, yelling: “SURPRISE!”
Bloody asthma attacks.
After I recovered from near-death, I noticed Twilight with fire in her mane and steam coming out of her ears. Normally, this would concern me, but it’s a cartoon, right? I enjoyed the rest of the night, often hanging out with Applejack and Pinkie Pie. After a while, I heard it was time to watch the sunrise. So, I gathered in the pavilion like all the rest of the sober ponies. Thank Christ Pinkie was underage.
I zoned out again at about the “fillies and gentlecolts” part, but I quickly reasserted my consciousness when I heard a loud gasp.
“She’s gone!” Rarity exclaimed.
“Oh, this can’t be good…” I muttered to myself, shaking my head. A booming laughter permeated the room. A midnight blue mist coalesced into a black alicorn with ice-blue armour.
“Well, well. My beloved subjects. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen your precious little sun-loving faces.”
“What did you do to our princess?” Rainbow asked. AJ was just barely holding her back.
The black alicorn chuckled again. “Why? Am I not royal enough for you? Don’t you know who I am?”
“Ooh! More guessing games!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Um… Hokey Smokes? How about… Queen Meanie! No! Black Snooty, Black Snooty!” AJ shoved a cupcake in her mouth before she could continue. The black alicorn turned to Fluttershy.
“Does my crown not count after being imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legends? Did you not see the signs?”
“I did!” Twilight called from next to me. “And I know who you are! You’re the Mare in the Moon: Nightmare Moon!” there was a collective gasp from the ponies.
“Well, well, well,” Nightmare murmured. “Somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I’m here.
“You’re here to… to…” Twilight trailed off.
“To bring eternal night.”
If it hadn’t come out of my mouth, I wouldn’t be sure who said it. As it were, Twilight and the other ponies looked at me funny. Nightmare Moon laughed.
“Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night will last forever!”
The Mayor strode forth. “Seize her!” she shouted to some of the guards. “Only she knows where the princess is!” the guards flew towards Nightmare.
“Back, you foals!” she shouted, eyes glowing. Lightning flashed and knocked them out of the sky. I beckoned to Twilight.
“Come on!” I yelled over the din. “We’ve got to find out how to stop her!” We rushed out of the pavilion and to Twilight’s library. I put Spike to sleep (with a knock on the head, unfortunately) and returned to Twilight, who was searching through book like an insane librarian.
“Ugh… how are we going to stop Nightmare Moon if we can’t find the Elements of Harmony?” she grunted.
Rainbow came zooming up to us. “And just what are the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy?” Rainbow asked, aggressively shoving her face in Twilight’s. AJ and I tugged her back.
“Simmer down, Sally,” AJ said. “She ain’t no spy. But she sure knows what’s goin’ on, don’t ya, Twilight?”
Twilight took a deep breath. “I read all about the prediction of Night Mare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them. I don't even know what they do!”
“Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide!” Pinkie said unexpectedly.
“Pinkie, am I going to regret asking you where you found that?” I said. Pinkie thought for a moment.
“Probably.”
“Okay, not going to ask.” I picked up the book and began reading. “There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said the last known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. It is located in what is now… the Everfree Forest.” Everyone gasped. “What?” I asked, confused. “It’s just a forest.”
“It is most certainly not just a forest!” Rarity exclaimed. “The clouds move on their own. The animals take care of themselves. The trees grow without anyone caring for them.”
“Okay, still don’t see how that’s a problem. It’s completely natural on Earth.” By now, we were trotting through the forest. Rainbow Dash accidently stepped on a loose stone hold what seemed to be half the cliff together. Unfortunately, it was the half of the cliff we were all standing on. Everyone but the pegasi dropped. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy managed to catch Pinkie and Rarity, but Twilight, AJ and I were still sliding. I caught a foothold and billy-goated my way down. I saw RD and Fluttershy zoom up to catch Twilight, but AJ was stranded, and it didn’t look like our feathered friends were cut out for carrying another body. I scanned the steep drop, looking for foot- sorry, hoofholds.
“AJ!” I called. “There’s a niche in the cliff three feet to your right! It’s thin, but you should be able to slide down.”
Applejack complied with my suggestion and rolled to the right. She landed in the niche and started gliding down the smooth stone. About five meters up, the crevasse dropped off, leaving me to catch AJ. She landed neatly on my back, blushing slightly as she did so. Her hat fell on top of her head a moment later. I heard something like “thanks” come out of her mouth before she hurried towards the front of the group.
Okay, what was that about?
We walked on. Here and there, I swore I could see a bluish mist, but when I turned back, it was gone. Eventually, we hit a clearing with a strange shadow. It stood up, and I was face-to-face with the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. It was like part lion, part scorpion, and part bat.
“Manticore!” everypony screamed.
Dude, this day kept getting bloody better and better.
“This is bucking awesome!” I couldn’t help shouting. Everypony stared at me. “What?” I asked, shrugging. “I’ll be the first human to tackle a Manticore, here!”
“Now what in tarnation do ya mean by tackle?” AJ asked me. I grinned, ran along the clearing, and jumped, smacking the thing right in the face.
“that,” I called back, “is what I mean by tackle, AJ.” She grinned and charged the manticore too. She straddled the beast, riding him like a bronco (no sexual reference meant). After a few moments, she was finally thrown off.
“All yours, partner,” she mumbled to Rainbow Dash. Dash saluted and flew off to engage the manticore while I intercepted AJ. Landing on my back once again, and blushing once again, she scrambled off me. Am I really that hated in this group? I jumped to the right, catching Rainbow before she crashed into a tree.
“Can you guys not go flying in random directions for a minute? I’m not a crash mat!” I yelled. Rainbow and AJ looked at me apologetically before returning to the battle. It was at this precise moment that I heard Fluttershy yell, “WAIT!” she nuzzled the manticore’s paw. I named the manticore Leroy.
It’s a lot easier than typing manticore a hundred times.
Leroy opened his paw to reveal a splinter so big it would’ve needed surgery on a human or pony. Fluttershy sighed sympathetically and nuzzled the mangled paw. “Oh, you poor little baby,” she said, rubbing against him.
“Little?” I heard Rainbow snort.
“Baby?” I asked myself. I was wondering what in the bloody hell could possibly give birth to something that big when Leroy snatched Fluttershy up and roared. A second later found him licking her mane. I stared in disbelief that a pony could do that. This world just kept getting weirder and weirder. Weirder than Doctor Who.
We walked on, my eyes constantly flicking to the shadows. It wasn’t so much paranoia, but impatience. We finally reached a point where Rarity snapped.
“Ugh, I wish my eyes could get a rest from such drab scenery,” she exclaimed. The canopy thickened and we were stuck in near total darkness.
“You were saying…” I trailed.
“Well, I didn’t mean that literally,” she shot back.
“Uh, guys?” AJ called back to us. “Ah think ah stepped in somethin’.”
“Fluttershy screamed.
“What? It’s only mud…” AJ said as she turned. Everyone screamed. On the trees were…
The most ridiculous faces I’ve ever seen.
They kind of looked like jack-o-lanterns, but they were carved entirely from wood. The moonlight, sparse through the thick foliage, revealed a soft red glow coming from inside the trees. At exactly the same time, Pinkie and I busted up laughing.
“What are you two doing? Run!” Twilight yelled. Pinkie and I were now on the ground crying from laughter.
“Oh, girls!” Pinkie said, waving them off. And began doing the one thing I love more than pizza.
Singing.
“When I was a little filly and the sun was going down...”
“Tell me she's not...” Twilight groaned.
“The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown.”
“She is,” Rarity sighed.
“I'd hide under my pillow from what I thought I saw, but Granny Pie said that wasn't the way to deal with fears at all.”
“Then what is?” Rainbow put in.
“She said: "Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall Learn to face your fears, you'll see that they can't hurt you, just laugh to make them disappear." Ha! Ha! Ha!” one of the faces disappeared, and everyone gasped with shock.
“So, giggle at the ghostly, guffaw at the grossly,
Crack up at the creepy, whoop it up with the weepy,
Chortle at the kooky, snortle at the spooky,
and tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... hahahaha...heh... Laaaaaaauuugh!”
By the end of the song we were all on the ground laughing. It was a fun time, laughing with my friends…
Wait a minute… did I just say friends?
We walked on a lot longer, passing cliffs, swamps, and an enormous tree that vibrated constantly if anything was within a few meters of it.
“Why did you come with us, Andrew?” Twilight asked me. It was a good question; one I couldn’t really answer myself.
“I don’t know… I just like to think of it as a way to pass time until I get sent home.”
“Wow, you must have a really great family,” Pinkie commented. I stopped, feeling the sadness of the orphan I am trying to overwhelm me.
“A foster brother… but no. No real family…”
Pinkie winced, realizing she had come upon a touchy subject. “If you don’t want to talk about it…” she trailed off.
“No, I might as well. I can see the curiosity in your eyes.” I turned towards Twilight. “Especially you, finiarel. Never let that curiosity drive you into danger. That was one of the lessons I learned that day.”
“What day?” Rainbow asked.
“The day my family was murdered.”
FLASHBACK INCOMING!
It was a stormy night, and Mom and Dad were watching NCIS. Me and my sister, Sarah, were playing with Legos. Snow glittered outside the house, turning everything white. I knew something was wrong when I heard a knock on the door. No one ever came out to our little farm this late at night. I peeked out the window and saw a very scary man. He had a really shiny thing in his hand, but I didn’t know what it was. When my Dad opened the door, he shoved the shiny piece of metal between his eyes. At first I thought it was a joke, but then I saw the blood pouring out of his face. Sarah screamed and ran to the barn. I tried to warn Mom, but the man got there before me. He cut her head off. I ran to the barn too, trying to protect my sister. By now I was really scared. I tried to fight the man off, but he knocked me out.
“By the time I woke up, the man was gone and there were police everywhere. My sister… he cut off her head and shoved a stake through it, then put it where I’d notice the second I woke up. There was blood… so much blood…” my voice cracked at the end. I suddenly felt six pairs of hooves wrap around me. Slowly, I felt the hug dissipate until only Twilight and AJ were there. They both had tears in their eyes.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t know…” Twilight began sobbing. I calmly shushed her.
“Don’t cry. It’s in the past, and nothing can change the past. There’s actually a part of me that’s glad it happened.” AJ and Twilight looked at me in horror. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. That night changed me; it made me a large part of who I am now.” There was a large crack of thunder.
“Go!” I yelled. “Get to the Elements!” We began to run, but a huge black stallion blocked my path. The girls looked back at me.
“GO!” I shouted. AJ gave me one last concerned look before dashing off. I stared at the black stallion. It laughed with unwavering crimson eyes.
“You’re Death, aren’t you? I saw you that day…”
“Yes,” he said. His voice cut through my thoughts like an icy bullet. “Rather, I’m the essence of Death, given voice by your imagination and form by your magic.”
“Magic? Then that means…” I touched my horn consciously.
“Yes. You have a… unique, I should say, power inside yourself. I am truly sorry for the death of your family. Unfortunately, it was one of the many things I could not interfere with. I had only enough influence to turn his blade before you were hurt.”
“But why me?” I asked.
“Andrew Henry Gillen.” I flinched. Only I knew my full name nowadays. “I was charged to protect you, no matter the cost. I feel your time has finally come to prove yourself. I can give you a warning, but only that. Nightmare Moon has abilities that rival even Death. I can only tell you: trust in Hope.”
“Hope? Who’s Hope?”
“Not who, but what.” The black stallion began to fade away. “Andrew, I don’t have much time. I know you have so many more questions, but please let me say: I’m sorry.” As suddenly as Death appeared, he was gone. All that remained was the smell of rotting flesh, mold, and old marble. I trod along the path, eventually reaching a river. Once I could see the castle, I realized something. Was it possible that I could teleport using magic? It seemed like a stupid idea, but Death said I had power and imagination, so I imagined myself being wrapped in a cocoon of light, then disappearing. As soon as the light faded in my mind, I felt a burning sensation all over my body. I opened my eyes to a castle hall. It was dilapidated, but managed to pull through as I rushed towards Twilight’s yells. I reached a huge chamber with all of the girls in it. I shielded my eyes just in time, as a blinding rainbow light filled the room and crashed down on Nightmare. Once the spots cleared from my vision, I looked up. Nightmare Moon was standing tall over the Elements, while they lay curled up in a defeated heap.
“Foals!” Nightmare screeched. “I will not be defeated so easily!”
“There’s no way we can beat her…” I heard Twilight mutter. “No hope left for Equestria.”
That sparked something in me. I felt the urge to protect my friends. Trusting my blasted heart on this one, I stepped into the hall.
“Are you guys forgetting little ol’ me?” I asked in an innocent tone. Before anyone could react, Nightmare was gaining on me. I felt something inside me, touching my very soul. It was huge, powerful, and determined. A bright light pushed me back. When it was gone, I saw Nightmare at the back of the room, looking dazed. Death appeared at my side.
“Damn connection. Is this thing working? Ah, Andrew. I suppose you’ve discovered what I meant?
“Yes.” I was surprised at my own answer. “Trust hope. Not a ‘who’, but a ‘what’. When Twilight said there was no hope, I realized she was wrong.” I turned towards Nightmare. “Do you hear that, Nightmare? There aren’t six Elements… there are seven!” I felt, rather than saw, the glow of the Element appearing. It was a hammered gold disk, inset with a perfectly spherical diamond that appeared to be spinning. There was suddenly a howl from the Element. The spinning diamond was leaking ice-blue smoke. The smoke eventually coalesced into a wolf.
“Hello, Andrew Henry Gillen,” it said. Its voice was deep and melodic, like a whale’s song.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Who’s who?” AJ called from the middle of the room. I looked at the wolf rather inquisitively.
“Only the embodiment of Hope and certain… individuals… can see me,” it told me. The wolf was glaring at Nightmare and Death. “As for whom we are, we do not have names. We would be honored if you would give us a name.”
“We…” I trailed off yet again (anypony notice this recurrence of me trailing off?). Circling the room was a total of twenty wolves. Some were male, some were female. They came in all hues, from crimson to sable.
“Wolves… how about Brenner’s Wolves?” I asked, grinning. A lime-green wolf balked.
“You just had to make a video game reference, didn’t you?” he asked sarcastically. The remaining twenty wolves laughed.
(If you don’t get the reference, I suggest you play through the first two or three chapters of Advance Wars: Days of Ruin.)
“Well, I guess my name shall be Brenner from now on?” the icy wolf asked me. I nodded in agreement. He turned to the rest of the wolves, who lined up.
“We have been charged with protecting this young human in his trials, as well as assisting him when he asks it of us. Does anywolf object?” he boomed. No one spoke up. “So be it,” Brenner said. He turned back to me.
“The Element of Hope, unlike the other Elements, cannot be contained, nor handled by anyone but you. As such, you must give it a form to take. I suggest a weapon of some sort.”
I thought for a while. The wolves seemed to be protecting us from Nightmare, so there wasn’t any shortage of time. My mind finally came upon the image of a blade I was all-too familiar with. It was the sword often depicted to banish darkness. I mentally reviewed it with Brenner, who grinned, well, wolfishly.
“Ah, a fitting choice. One that can adapt to any situation, with my wolves and I as the keychains.”
I reached into the air and the wolves howled. A Keyblade glittered to life above me. I focused on the hilt and imagined it moving up. To my amazement, the magic seemed to be acting as some sort of arm for me to swing it with. I called the wolves off and beckoned to Twilight.
“Can you get up?” I asked softly. “We’re going to need all the power we can get. Is there any chance you can get another charge out of the Elements?” the girls nodded groggily. I faced Nightmare as they shakily stood up. There was a faint glimmer from behind me, and the Keyblade was charged with rainbow energy. I faced Nightmare Moon, stopping the Keyblade just a foot or two from her heart. The wolves closed in, growling, snarling, and barking.
“Nightmare, I’m sorry for what I’m about to do. I know your emotions took you over. But that doesn’t change the face that you’re evil, and evil needs righteous punishment. So, just remember, when you’re wallowing in hell: you would have killed every pony on this planet. No more light, no more heat. That means no more rays to grow food, and no more heat to keep our blood pumping. If you had succeeded with your plan, you would have frozen and starved each individual in Equestria. That is what I leave you with. I leave you with guilt that lasts for eternity.” I pushed the Keyblade towards her chest. Just before it connected, a ball of black and white energy radiated out. The black dissipated, while the white grew until it was whole once more. I removed the Keyblade and set it by my side, asking a black male wolf to watch it for me. I walked towards the unconscious form of an alicorn. I turned its head, revealing a midnight blue mare with a starry mane. Not Nightmare Moon anymore, thank God…
Everyone behind me except the wolves gasped. I turned my eyes to the window, startled to see Princess Celestia standing there. The six mares bowed, while Death stood stock-still and the wolves surrounded me. The black wolf I had confided the Element of Hope to earlier was growling.
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight exclaimed. She started towards Celestia, but the Keyblade got there first. I laid the teeth of the enormous key on her throat. Twilight gasped. Brenner’s Wolves started towards the white alicorn, but I stopped them with the wave of a hand.
“Stand down. I just want to make a point.”
“Who is he talking to?” I heard Rarity whisper to AJ.
“Listen to me, Celestia,” I said through gritted teeth. “I know you were the one that brought me here. I know you saw the Element of Hope in me. But if you ever put my friends in danger again, you’ll have me and my comrades to answer to.”
Celestia gulped and nodded. I pulled the Keyblade away, giving it back to the black wolf. Celestia looked at Death a bit uneasily.
“I did not expect to see you here, Mortis,” she said. Something in her voice told me that she wasn’t exactly pleased to see Death.
“I was charged with protecting the boy when he was born, and I plan to stay true to my vow until I have to reap him myself.” He chuckled a little bit. “And I don’t plan on doing that for a long time, Celestia.”
“Enough of this.” She turned towards Twilight. “Twilight Sparkle, my favorite student. I knew you and your friends could do it.”
“But… you told me it was an old pony’s tale.”
“I told you to make some friends, nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon’s return and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her. You only had to let friendship into your heart; now, if another will as well. Princess Luna!”
Luna gasped and scrambled back. I gently pushed her back towards Celestia, making sure I meant no ill will.
“It has been a thousand years since I’ve seen you like this. It’s time to put our differences aside. We were meant to rule together, sister.”
“Sister?!” Everypony exclaimed. Now that I think about it, it’s not that strange at all. I mean, there are only two alicorns in Equestria, one in charge of the sun, and the other of the moon. I really feel like an idiot right now.
And, of course I miss the heartfelt montage between Celestia and Luna.
Celestia turned to me. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”
I shook my head. “No. I just don’t fit with this place. Too violent, too emotionless. I have the strangest feeling, though, that Brenner and his Wolves are going to follow me.”
Brenner nodded. “Of course. We swore to protect you, and that’s that.”
Death stepped forward. “I will help you, Brenner. I owe this boy a debt that cannot be easily repaid.” The two nodded before turning back to Celestia.
Celestia sighed. “Very well then.” She pointed her horn at the doorway, and it went pitch black. In it, I could see images of Earth: the raid on Osama Bin Laden’s mansion, the northern lights, and a tropical island. I took a step towards it before turning back.
“Thanks, everypony.”
With that, I jumped into the portal headfirst, waiting to see what greeted me on the other side.
Applejack had tears in her eyes. Andrew jumped into the portal. She half-raised her hoof, and then realized he was gone, and put it back down. She looked around, relieved to see she wasn’t the only one crying. Death followed him through the portal. Suddenly, a howling filled the room. Staring at the portal, Applejack saw almost two dozen wolves running through, one after the other.
“What in tarnation…” she muttered as the last wolf, an icy blue one with violet eyes, ran through.
Applejack had fun at the party that night, but something still weighed at her. She had liked Andrew, more than she would admit to anypony but her new friends. Even the thought of him that day was enough to set her heart racing and her cheeks blushing. Now that he was gone, though…
A light tap on the shoulder interrupted her thoughts. She turned to see a pony in a hooded cloak. On his back were saddlebags. He had a guitar case and a long object wrapped in a white shroud strapped to them.
“Excuse me, miss,” the pony said. “Do you know where I might find some lodging for the night? It’s not been an easy day for me.”
“Well, ya can stay at Sweet Apple Acres if ya want,” Applejack said mildly. “Outta curiosity, though, what’s yer name?”
The pony flipped back his hood, revealing a grey stallion with a black mane and a unicorn horn. Applejack actually felt her heart skip a beat.
“The name’s Dusk Stargazer. My friends, though, know me as Andrew.” He grinned. Applejack jumped on him, hugging him tight.
“AJ… too tight… crushing… me…”
“Oops. Sorry ‘bout that, partner.” The two of them walked throughout the town, heading down to Sweet Apple Acres. All AJ could think on the way was: this is gonna be one fun life.
HAHA! You think I end chapter there? Shame on you! I haven’t even put in an extra-romantic bit.
AJ shot out of bed. After weeks of Applebloom sneaking out to try and find her Cutie Mark under cover of night, her senses were on a hair-trigger response after 10:00. A light tapping sound was distancing itself from the house.
“Oh, that silly lil’ filly’s gonna get it now…” she muttered. She followed the noise out of the house. It led her through a long-forgotten path in the orchard. After about an hour, she finally reached a clearing. She could hear the soft strums of a guitar under one of the trees. Suddenly, a beautifully soft, clear tenor voice split the darkness:
“I feel like I'm drowning in ice water, my lips have turned a shade of blue
I'm frozen with this fear, that you may disappear
Before I've given you the truth
I bleed my heart out on this paper for you, so you can see what I can't say
I'm dying here, 'cause I can't say what I want to
I bleed my heart out just for you
I've always dreamed about this moment, and now it's here and I've turned to stone
I stand here petrified, as I look you in your eyes
My head is ready to explode
I bleed my heart out on this paper for you, so you can see what I can't say
I'm dying here, 'cause I can't say what I want to
I bleed my heart out just for you
And it's all here in, black and white and red
For all the times those words were never said
I bleed my heart out on this paper for you, so you can see what I can't say
I'm dying here 'cause I can't say what I want to
I bleed my heart out just for you
I bleed my heart out just for you.”
Applejack was stunned at the beauty of Andrew’ voice. She had never, in her fifteen years of life, ever heard a colt singing in the foreground instead of the background. His voice was (pardon the cheesiness) like fire, dancing in the wind. It was like the slow and hard-packed earth, the tempting melodies of the wind, the clarity of a bright diamond, and the softness of velvet on her skin.
“Andrew?” she blurted. The figure froze before relaxing.
“Oh, AJ,” he muttered. “Warn me next time you plan on following me out here.”
“Sorry about that,” she shyly said back. She felt shy? What was wrong with her? It was like Andrew took everything she said or did and made it ten times as meaningful. “Applebloom likes ta sneak out at night, and, well…” she trailed off (another trail off. Surprised, anywolf?). Andrew laughed, a clear peal echoing in the meadow.
“I can understand your feelings, AJ,” he said. “My foster brother, Dominic… he got into so much trouble sometimes.”
Applejack laughed too. She sat beside him, scooting a little closer in the darkness. He noticed the gesture.
“Well? I won’t bite, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He allowed himself a grin. Applejack found herself extremely thankful the dark hid her blush as she leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder.
“What was that song you were playing?” she asked, yawning. “It was beautiful.”
“It was a song called “Bleed.” It was a favorite of mine back on Earth.” She yawned again. Andrew chuckled. He pulled his ocarina from the saddlebag lying next to him. As he raised the woodwind to his lips, the perfect song floated into his head. He began playing the Prelude of Light. Somewhere during the second stanza of the song, a wolf added its howl to the music. Eventually, all twenty one of Brenner’s Wolves were either singing or howling in perfect harmony to the music. As the song ended, he heard a soft sigh from Applejack. She squirmed, snuggling a bit closer to him in the dark. Andrew started to blush himself. He patted her forehead gently.
“Sweet dreams, Applejack…”
And Andrew Henry Gillen nodded off to sleep as well.
(Song is “Bleed” by Hot Chelle Rae. My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is the sole property of Hasbro, Lauren Faust, and Studio B [I think it’s Studio B, at least].)