After last night's terrible experience I didn't get much sleep. I stayed awake most of the night.
I sigh to myself as I rub my eyes. “Hey Pumpkin, wake up,” I gently shook her, “I need to ask you something.”
She began to open her eyes, “What's the problem?” She yawned out. Her eyes showed that she really needed the sleep.
“I-Would you guys still be my friends if I was a murder?” I hesitantly asked.
“What's a murderer?” Her eyes still only barely open.
Of course she wouldn't know what a murder was, she was still a foal. I wasn't going to get any of the answers I looked for from her anyway, even if she did know, there's no way she'd believe I killed my mom when I was human.
“It's nothing, go back to sleep.” I gave her a gentle smile and watched her as she drifted back into dreamland. The smile quickly left as soon I was sure she was sleeping, I flew out of the bed and over to the door. I made sure to be silent, as pumpkin was still freshly asleep, she'd wake up if the buzz of my wings got too loud. It made things go a lot slower than I would have originally liked, but eventually I made it.
“I can't burden these ponies anymore, I have to leave.” I reached for the handle, anticipation building, my mind burning. I grabbed it.
The door opened and slammed me into the wall. I didn't know I could leave such deep imprints in walls.
An oh so too familiar voice hit my ears. “Pinkie you said he was in the crib, but he's not.”
I fell to the floor causing an ample thud.
“Please no. Please for the love of all that's good, don't let it be...” I shut my eyes tightly, trying to ignore the harsh reality.
I heard the door creek, “Never mind Pinkie, I found him. He uh, tried to hide behind the door” The female voice said, I dreaded this day.
I cracked open my right eye to see a blur. It was blue...the next words I heard echoed in my ears with terror.
“bring him on down, Dashie”
“Dashie”
“Dashie...”
“Dashie......”
My eyes grew with each repetition. Was today the day my world would end? Was today the day I would FINALLY die?! My mind flashed with agony and a single word. A single, elongated, word. Said by Darth Vader.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
She picked me up and brought me downstairs where Pinkie had been waiting on us.
Along the way I had been repeating the same word over and over again "Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope"
I honestly could not believe this had happened to me. Of ALL the ponies that I could be Sat by today, this one!? WHY!? Was i not suffering enough being a BABY?! No obviously not, there was more of my soul to drain.
"What have I ever done to you universe!? Why does thou torment me!?" I raised my hooves towards the ceiling in pleading.
“Be careful with this one, Dashie.” Pinkie gave a Semi-serious tone. Rainbow Dash only rolled her eyes and walked out the open door.
"Yeah, that's nice Pinkie" She replied with utter sarcasm.
"I'm serious! Watch out for him! He may be fun but he's dangerous!" Her voice still semi-serious.
She looked back at Pinkie and shot towards the sky, me in hoof screaming bloody murder. No, no, it wasn't because she was jetting a 90 degree angle with me, a child (in body) still adjusting to the sensation of flight. It was more because she accidentally, or I at least I assume it was, dropped me around...oh..eighty-thousand feet.
My reaction was cool and reflected though, I maintained a positive composure.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M GONNA DIE! NO PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
ಠ_ಠ ...Shut up.
Ok so maybe I did panic a little. Anyway, at around ten or so feet from the ground she caught me.
And I know what you're thinking, "Why didn't you just fly", right? Simple, the fear I felt from being dropped caused them to clench to my back like a little filly.
“Whoops, sorry little guy, I kinda got into the feel of things” She sheepishly grinned.
“Once my lungs get back into my chest, i'm going to send you to the glue factory!” I said, trying to strangle her.
She began flying again, this time just above the houses. She was more cautious this time, and thank goodness, because another trip like that would surely cause me to hurl. Speaking of which, I wonder how Luna and Celestia are doing. I did miss them, even Luna's music blasting in my ears.
As I reminisced over the few memories I had with them, and before I knew it, Rainbow Dash had landed us in a field. Green went as far as the eye could see, with beautiful mountains standing tall in the distance. This clearly wasn't Ponyville.
“Just stay here,” She commanded me, as she jumped into the sky and began flying around.
She was very graceful, beautiful even, the rainbow streaks caused a sense and of joy and aspiration I had yet to feel.
I grabbed a rock and threw it at her. Dead center too. She crashed into the ground causing a small crater. Once she had managed to pull her head out of the ground she zoomed straight up to me.
“Did I do that? Oh what ever was I thinking? Bad changeling!” I said playfully smacking my own hoof.
“Not impressed with what you saw huh? Well how about this!” She said once again zooming high, she stopped and stared down.
“Oh no.” I grimaced.
“SONIC RAINBOOM!” She screamed dive-bombing the ground.
Rainbow Dash, was not only about to break the sound barrier, but also the visible light spectrum. In-front of a baby. Not only could she possibly deafen me, but blind me as well.
Best. FoalSitter. Ever.
The mach cone began to form around her. I didn't have much time left before the boom went off. I had to stop her before she ruined what little joys I was getting from this body.
I jumped into the sky myself and began barreling towards her. I honestly must be insane.
“I honestly must be insane.”
See? Even HE knows it.
I pushed as hard as I could flying at her, but I wasn't adjusted to the work flying required. My back began to ache, and I, to slow.
I was a sitting duck, standing right in the middle of the direct path with a Sonic Rainboom. I was a goner...again.
Rainbow crashed into me, and I went into the ground with excessive force. The crater I made was even bigger than the one she made, about eight or nine times bigger.
The pain in my body was indescribable, the very thoughts in my brain caused pain.
Rainbow Landed in-front of the hole, “Oooh oh man, I can't believe that just happened" She stuck her head in, “Uhh, you alright Shifting Sands?”
“Did you inject that license plate of pirate with nuclear water bagel yet? ” I screamed out of the hole.
“Don't worry! I'm gonna go get help!” She said in a hurry, dashing away.
“OFF WITH THEIR BUTTS!” I shouted, then blacked out.
--------------------
I woke up in the hospital. The blue pegasus standing over me.
“So is he gonna be ok?” Rainbow asked the Doctor, a light green unicorn with a frizzy blue mane and tail. His tail looked like it had been in a wild fire, scorched, uneven, blackened. Which is weird considering his profession. His eyes were different too, one bigger than the other.
“Yes this chair is perfectly fine! Could use a tad more oil though, but overall the wood is perfect!” He said talking to a window.
He was obviously qualified to take care of me.
“I think I would've been better off in the hole...” I whispered.
“No, I mean the changeling, and i'm over here!” She facehoofed.
“Oh yes him? He'll be fine, remarkable little thing he is. It seems his fractures, cuts, and bruises began healing instantly. Although his bullet holes don't show any sign of closing any time soon.” He said pushing a cotton swab through them one of my holes.
I looked up at the Doctor and thought “My life, was in the hooves of this colt.” I began to hyperventilate, the heart monitor went off like a car alarm.
“Is he gonna be alright!?” Rainbow Dash said startled by the sudden increase in beeps.
“Yes, perfectly fine! That just means he's ready to leave. Give him some apple juice and his throat should be good as new! Oh and don't forget, he'll need reading glasses, poor thing has horrible eyes.” He assured with a certainty I could not believe.
His very voice and every word it uttered caused a rush of fear and dismay, “You gave HIM legal responsibility over my body!?” the heart monitor rose rapidly. My eyes rolled back into my head.
"DOCTOR SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HIM!" Rainbow Dash screamed in fear.
"Excuse me, young missy, i've been working here for years. I think i know a thing or nine about medicine!"
"THIS WAS THE COLT IN CHARGE OF ME?!"
I fainted again.
--------------------
“Ian....Ian...Wake up Ian...” A woman's gentle voice reached my ears. It was familiar, too familiar.
I looked around myself, a room of darkness slowly filling. Once the room filled i turned around to see my mother, standing over my bed trying to wake my younger self up.
I opened my eyes to see my mother, her light magenta eyes looking down at me. I reached out to her and she smiled. She reached out to me and lifted me into the air, the sound of our laughter filling the place. She pulled me to her and held me tight, that warmth I would never forget.
“This day... I remember it...” I said with a weak voice.
“Ian, don't forget to bring something to entertain yourself. It's going to be a long trip, today.”
“Ok Mama, but which one should I take?” My younger self questioned looking at the toybox. I was so indecisive back then it was crippling.
“Hmm, how about,” she reached in ”This one!” Pulling out clear ball with a turtle figurine in the center.
“Yeah that one!” The small me said in said in excitement.
I watched her pull my younger self through the door into a blinding light, that loving smile on her face. I followed her into the light and found myself outside, at a cross walk. I watched my younger self toss that ball into the air multiple times, 4, 5, 6, 7, each time I smiled at myself for being able to go higher each time.
“Mama, why do turtles have shells?” The child me asked in innocent curiosity.
“Hmm? Oh, so that when a turtle sees something scary, something that it doesn't like, it can always hide away! When the turtle is in it's shell, nothing can hurt it.” She said radiating in her heavenly glow, smiling. Always smiling.
“That's cool, Mama!” My younger self said tossing the ball into the clouds once more.
“Move it kid.” Some stranger said as he shoved me aside. I missed the chance to grab the ball out the air but I wasn't going to let that stop me from having fun..
It bounced on the ground and rolled into the crosswalk. I chased after it, knowing little about the high speed chase that I was about to be struck by.
“Ian! NO!” My mother screamed, rushing in and pushing me out of the way of the incoming car.
I closed my eyes, I couldn't bare to see that sight again.
“MAMA! MAMA WAKE UP!” A voice pierced through the shroud of shadow.
The darkness lifted and I saw myself screaming to my mother while she lay on a stretcher. She opened her eyes to look at me, the woman who had eyes bright enough to challenge the sun was gone. And in her place was this woman, who's eyes were pale and empty. She was slipping and even then I knew.
“Ian, don't worry. Mama,” she took a jagged breath, “Mama will be fine.”
I was too shocked to know how to reply to that, all I gave were tears. Her shaky hand wiped them away each time.
“You know Mama loves you, right?” She said her weak voice failing her. I nodded. “Then do Mama a favor, no matter what happens. Never give up your hope or joy, and share them with others whenever you can. Protect them.”
“Like the turtle...?” I whispered.
“Yes, sweetie. Like the...turtle...”
They moved her into the ambulance and drove away, the police by my side holding my shoulders.
The doctors said she died on the way to the hospital. When my father heard the details of her death, he cut me off. I was just a walking burden to him now, and when we got home, he showed it by breaking my nose. I deserved it, what i had done could not be forgiven by any standard.
There was no way to apologize, to bring her back and say I was sorry. She didn't deserve it.
She was a good mother, she did her very best to make sure I was Ok. She fought for me in every way necessary. She even used her last breath to tell me she loved me, and tried to make sure I would stay happy after she passed. Even on her deathbed, she treated me with kindness. And what did I do? I killed her. I murdered her.
I wasn't a person worth breathing, let alone loving.
“It was all my fault. I should have known better...” I said to myself, my voice lacking any and all kind of emotion.
The darkness of this strange world began to wrap around me.
"I wish I could change that moment, to make it how things should have been. To make it so I died that day instead of you."
--------------------
I awoke to Rainbow Dash flying in the sky again, myself laying in that same patch of field as before. I sat up and looked around. It had all been another dream.
“I'm sorry mom...I really didn't mean to.” I sobbed to myself.
Rainbow Dash saw I was awake and flew down to me, “Hey there little guy, what's the matter?” she said getting too close to me.
I turned my head down and wiped my tears away. The guilt I felt was eating me away, I couldn't force myself to look at her. I couldn't even talk to anyone about my problems because of this form.
Rainbow walked to my side and sat next to me.
“Look kiddo, i'm not sure why you're crying. Hay i'm not even sure if you can understand me. But...whatever happens, I want to you know i've got your back.” She put her hoof around my shoulder.
I simply ignored her, my mind still replaying the events that had come forth. I wonder what would have happened if I had them about it, about the woman I killed in cold blood. Would they still try to be my friends then?
Rainbow Dash smacked me on the back and floated in-front of me.
"Now come on, I saw your flying skills, you're in need of a Rainbow Dash special work out!" She gloated.
"I honestly wish you had been turned into cupcakes." I sighed as I stood up and made myself hover above the ground.
"DID I SAY YOU COULD LEAVE THE GROUND, MAGGOT!?" She screamed.
My head cocked back from the shock, I landed in direct obedience to her.
"MAGGOT, I WANT YOU TO START FLAPPING THOSE LITTLE WINGS AS HARD AS YOU CAN AND THE ONLY THING I WANNA SEE IS A BURST OF WIND TRAILING FROM YOUR BACK SIDE, AM I UNDERSTOOD!?"
"SIR, YES SIR!" I said in reply. The hell was I doing?
I began fluttering my wings as hard as I could, creating a small breeze.
"NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" She shouted.
I tried harder, but got little results.
"I SAID THAT WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH, ARE YOUR EARS NOT WORKING!?" She knocked on my skull.
I tried even harder, I even began to sweat, but only got a small improvement, and I was also losing the strength to keep it up.
"IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO, YOU WORTHLESS MAGGOT!?" She said adjusting herself to my height to scream in my face.
"Do. Not. CALL. ME! WORTHLESS!! YOU STUPID HORSE!!!!!!" I erupted as my wings burst into green and blue flames and rocketed me forward, the burst powerful enough to cause a gust across the valley. I was stunned at how fast I was going
"Upgrade acquired." I exclaimed as my horn also became covered in flame, turning me into a living fireball.
"Achievement: SWAG!" My joy blooming like a flower, until I ran headfirst into a tree.
Rainbow Dash followed up behind me, "That was awesome! Not as awesome as me, mind you, but still AWESOME! You've got potential Shifting Sands, some real potential...Uh..You stay here, I need to go practice my Sonic Rainboom."
I waved her off.
"Wait...Sonic Rainboom?! I KNEW I SHOULD'VE SENT YOU TO THE GLUE FACTORY!" I screeched trying to pull my head out of the tree. No go, the tree was holding on tight.
I sighed. "I really hate this mare"
I waited for the sound and flash, but nothing came. Was she alright? Was she going even higher? After 15 good tugs, I finally managed to get out of the tree, I saw that she had just been floating there, pondering to herself.
"What on earth could SHE be thinking about?" I mirrored her movements. She flew back down to me. "No, no, I can't outshine you. Today was your moment, it wouldn't be fair for me to take it. Besides, it got your mind off whatever was putting you down." She remarked humbly.
"Rainbow Dash...you're a good pony, i'd even be willing to call you my friend, if you weren't such a walking death trap, but thank you for everything." I said relaxed, content with the morning sun setting into night.
Once she landed I walked up to her and crawled on her back and laid down. I was too tired to do anything else in the day.
She smiled at me and laid down where she stood.
Today may have had it's ups and downs but at the very least nothing too strange happened. No voices, no images of ponies turning against me, no unexplained rage. Nothing. That made the day worth going through, even if I was stuck with the worlds worst foal sitter. She'll make a fine glue.