"So how long is this spell going to last again?" I asked the orange pony as we walked down a sunset lit street.
"Let's see…Luna's magic, plus humans, and all the magic you've already had…" He waved his hoof in the air as he calculated who knows what in his head. "I'd say we should be better by tomorrow, which is good because we need to leave."
"Leave, why? Life is finally back to normal now. There's no risk of death every night anymore, we can all go back to the way things were before."
"Well for one our rent on the room runs out tomorrow. And there's something happening to this universe, something very bad."
"So what's so bad about it then? You said 'oh don't alter history' while two humans are roaming around." He led me to a bench to sit down.
"Michael let's say you've always been a pony, if you look out there would you see anything wrong with that picture?" He pointed out towards the street with only a few ponies left roaming.
"Not really, if I've always been a pony then it'd be a pretty normal day."
"And that's the thing. You don't see like I see. Wherever I look I can see cracks and splits in the world, tiny missing pieces of the puzzle. This universe is slowly starting to collapse as it is being pulled apart piece by piece. And if you want to find the guilty, you need only look in a mirror. Because the more you are here the more this world collapses, and it doesn't help by altering history."
"How could we alter history any more than we already have?"
"Simple. The universe doesn't really recognise us as existing, but it still knows something is wrong, so it routes through every little detail to find the error. It's like a computer looking for a virus, and we are the virus. The universe is helping destroy itself because that is its core programming, to stop at nothing to balance out time and space. But if we alter pony history, then that would be a disaster. If you point out an island that shouldn't have been discovered by ponies for hundreds of years, it could change history!"
"So…Because we aren't from Equestria, it doesn't register our changes as changes to pony history?"
"Exactly, you learn fast don't you?"
"Not really. I have no idea how to understand any of that…"
"Well you don't have to understand it; you just have to know it. Onto another thing! Let me explain why you haven't died yet."
"Died…What the universe wants me dead or something?"
"Nonono, when you fell off that cloud and hit the ground, have you so quickly forgotten how you are still alive?"
"I can never forget what I put Rainbow through." I sighed, my mind forced back to that painful memory.
"Well luckily not being a local can have some advantages. Believe it or not, you're immortal!"
"What 'chu talkin' 'bout?"
"Well the universe more than anything wants to fix the error, so obviously it can't let you die. Otherwise it would be stuck with an impossible object on its hands, and our world would be missing someone without any explanation. While you can still feel pain and can get injured, you can even get to the point where one tap will make you kick the bucket, but overall you cannot die. Otherwise everything would be screwed up! So the universe keeps you alive until the problem is resolved."
"And what do you mean by 'resolved'?"
"Alas I do not know. The cosmos must have some plan to return us both to Earth however. Strange…This whole explanation reminds me of the beginning."
"Beginning of what?"
"When we first showed up you swore so much, nothing but swears here and there. What made you change?"
"Well back then I was scared obviously. I was just suddenly put in Equestria without any warning of any kind! Anyone would have reacted the same…Well maybe not the government, but you get the picture. I guess I've stopped freaking out so much that…This feels more like a home to me than Earth has. Earth is just a memory I'm not even sure is real anymore, it's just a word now, but it is still the only place I can go back to."
"But the question is…Do you really want to?" The question hit and froze me on the spot. If I had a choice to go back to my home planet, that I can't even remember very well anymore and abandon all of this, would I take it? "But enough boring explanation, let's go get into that nightclub!" He got up and gestured me to follow down the darkening street.
"Wait a second." He spun around and looked back at me. "Can you remember who I was, who we were? Before all of this happened do you have any idea what we were like? What if the person I am now isn't even the real me?"
With a sigh he paused for a moment then gave an answer. "Do you like who you are?"
"I guess I do but I want to know who I was before."
"Michael I do not know who you were before all of this but if you are content with yourself now, then that is who you are. If you could turn yourself into the person you were back on Earth and give up yourself now, I would bet my life that you would not take it. Because this is who you are now, not before, not after, but now! You have lived through this whole new life of yours with that body and that personality. The person you are right now is the real you! Now enough with all the depression already, we're in the capitol of Equestria, let's fun some fun already!"
"I guess you're right…Yeah, for once you are right! Let's go!"
Nek minnit…
I to a headache that drew a constant low hum of pain. My blurry vision faded the outlines of anything I could see and my muscles refused to move. So I lay there on the bed waiting for my vision to slowly come back, eventually my energy came back as well. I sat up and rubbed that the sleep from my eyes, looking around I took everything in but it was still a good five seconds before I had the slightest idea of where I was.
Back at the hotel with a blanked overtop me, my clothes were crumpled and uncomfortable, a heavy cough escaped my mouth as I noticed how dry my throat was. It felt like I had every symptom of waking up with only an hour's sleep. I stared off as I silently searched my memories for any indication of what had happened last night, unfortunately it came up blank.
"Oh good you're awake." I heard a voice call out from the bathroom. I looked over to see that pirate walking out of the bathroom, human once more, vigorously drying his hair with a towel and without his noticeable sword or orange coat which was replaced with a white swashbuckler shirt. "You might want to keep it down though some of the other ponies are trying to get back to sleep." He said in a more hushed tone. A quick look to the side and I saw that all of the ponies were still snoozing in their own beds, even Twilight who is usually the first pony up and preparing for the day.
I tried to speak but only another rash cough came out. With a sigh he wandered over to me and grabbed me by the arm. "Follow me" I complied as I was still half asleep. He led into the tidy bathroom which smelled of perfume and scented soaps. He stood me in front of the shower and began to quickly fill up a glass with water. When he turned back I reached out to take it but instead he jerked the cup forward and the water splashed against my face with the rest plummeting into the shower, it snapped me awake instantly. But I just stared at him with a look of silent hatred. "What? It was more efficient than just waiting for you to get up."
"You really don't get this whole reality thing do you?" He only let out a chuckle in reply, "by the way, has it ever occurred to you that you could probably take Rainbow in a fight?"
"What? No I couldn't!" I hated to admit it, but if I denied it then he'd know either way, being part of me after all. "She's a black belt in what, three martial arts? Not to mention she has wings, she's stronger than me, more agile, and has more experience."
"Yes but you are forgetting that you are a human! You really need to stop forgetting that by the way…Anyway, most pony martial arts are focus on other ponies, not humans. So if you took advantage of the reach and height attributes you have there, you would have a fair shot."
"Easy for you to say Mr Magic and sword, but if you're so confident about it then why don't you take her on when she wakes up?"
"Well that would be completely unfair, I had a lot of free time when I was still up in your head," he poked my forehead with a finger. "I'm most likely where you get all your fighting skill from. But if you want to prove me wrong, then here." Three books levitated through the door and hovered next to me, I looked at the titles and they were all some sort of pony martial art. Lightning strike, Feather leaf and Rolling stone. "These are the three she has mastered, the first two Pegasi styles and the final is earth style. Pegasi rely on quick and precise strikes while earth ponies rely on more brute force. Read through these and you'll see that they mainly rely on facing other ponies, plus they have defence courses in there."
"Why though, why suddenly the pressure to fight Dash?"
"Well for one I am curious to how it would turn out." I rolled my eyes at this. "Secondly, you're going to need it. I can see the crakes in the universe Michael, and cracks work both ways." That was all he said before he strolled back into the large main room and rummaged to find his sword. Before I could even sit down to read my curiosity got the best of me.
"Where did you get all of these anyway?"
He stopped and stared at me with a confused look. "Do you have any idea how many books Twilight packs!" He whispered, but louder than usual. "She fit ten books into just one of those little side pockets on her suitcase! Celestia, one of her entire suitcases is dedicated to check lists and various books!"
And that was a good enough answer for me, knowing Twilight for this long it sounded like something she would do. To her everything needed a checklist or a manual or a tutorial. But brushing it off as just Twilight being Twilight, I sat down and got to reading some of the Pegasus styled martial arts.
Lightning strike was the first. It mainly consisted of the Pegasus tripping or knocking their opponents off balance, then using their speed to ascend and drop down delivering fierce blows from above. What was more disturbing was that there was a small section on where to hit to break bones and snap wings. I never knew ponies could be so vicious, and if this is only Pegasus fighting, I'd hate to see what the earth pony fighting was like. The countering was simple enough though, a firm stance and bucking attacks could easily counter the tripping.
The next was Feather leaf, all about flanking your opponent and never standing directly in front of them. Using agility and grace to avoid and counter blows, and using their wings to quickly glide across the ground to get a better position. This was the most common form of fighting a Pegasus trains in due to the technique optimising the grace of a Pegasus and the wings of one. Once again, countering was generally to keep your distance and be light on your feet. Only moments after skimming the defence guide it was obvious this was meant to be combined with the lightning strike, keeping opponents in a pose that was always left them vulnerable to attack, smart.
Finally came the earth pony style, and wow…Just wow…This technique required superhuman strength for even the beginner moves. Many ponies that fight this way end up breaking the opponents' bones clean through, sometimes even on accident. Once buck could give you a limp for life, disable a wing, snap off a horn, or even kill a pony if they had mastered it, which the pirate told me that Rainbow had. The general idea of countering this was to just dodge and hopefully get a hit in while flanking them, but mostly it encouraged to just not get in a fight with anypony who has learnt this. If that pirate wants me to fight Rainbow when she's learnt all of this, I'll probably die before I hit the ground.
I glanced up at him and he gave me a strange smile, somewhere between friendly and malicious. He walked over and tried to comfort me as I felt the colour drain from my face. "Don't worry, I'm not going to force you to fight her, I just thought it would be interesting to you to know how these ponies fight. I got the idea when you two tried to get a fight going when you had lycanthropy, ah good times…Either way you can't die, like I said, our universe needs you back alive and healthy."
"I'm not worried about dying. I think Rainbow is still mad at me for falling off of that cloud and putting her through everything that's happened. What I'm afraid of is that if we do end up fighting, then she won't hold back on me…"
A few minutes later the ponies started to awaken, agonisingly slowly however. Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow, and Spike all had what Twilight called 'morning fever', it wasn't a real fever however, just a name for when ponies refuse to get out of bed. Well, ponies and lazy little dragons.
While the rest slept in the pirate tried to teach me fighting stances and moves. Having nothing better to do I complied, yet I attracted many stares from the other ponies. Spike asked the question everypony was wondering. "Hey, why are you teaching him all that fighting stuff?"
"Because he is going to need it" he answered without taking his eye off me. "No you're legs need to be like this."
"Why, is he going to fight somepony?"
"In a way, he is going to fight Rainbow Dash…No don't put your arms all the way out there!"
"What! But why is he- but she'll-"
"Spit it out already."
"She'll destroy him! She knows three pony martial arts! She says there are only two ponies that she can't beat!"
"Well Michael here isn't a pony now is he?" He asked as he gave me a motivational pat on the shoulder.
"That's what I said" I cut in. "Hell, even I don't know why I'm listening to this guy, but I find it interesting and I've got nothing better to do so…"
"I don't know" Spikes voice became shaky and unsure. "Rainbow is pretty tough, she even beat Applejacks big brother once."
With many other stories of Rainbow's skill in the art of fighting, I decided to myself that I would try to avoid getting in a fight with her or any other pony at all. The only reason I was letting that insane pirate teach me was because I couldn't exactly go outside, none of Twilight's books leapt out at me, and frankly I had nothing better to do. But eventually everypony except Dash, who was still sound asleep, set out to buy tickets for the train back to Ponyville. The room was eerily quiet from the sudden halt in talking and various noises, so I settled down to read over the Pegasus fighting styles again.
Suddenly I felt a surge of fear strike through me as I heard Rainbow rolling herself out of bed. Normally if I had to fight Dash I would think of it as a friendly brawl but now, now that I knew how deadly she could be, I didn't want to take the risk of talking to her unless I aggravate her. I knew she was my friend and she wouldn't go that far, but the question always remained that maybe she would.
She let out a long yawn and began to stretch her wings and back. "Mornin', where's everypony else gone to?" She asked as she stretched out her wings. After a few moments of silence she began to eye us both and repeated the question.
"They went to get the train tickets back" the pirate told her. He glanced over to me and smiled again. "Hey Rainbow, do you think you could take Michael on in a fight?" With that one sentence I felt like trying some of these earth pony moves on him.
"Why? Want to see how humans match up to ponies?" I saw a slight spark in her eyes as she sat up.
"Something like that…"
"I'm up for it, it's good way to stretch the old wings 'n legs. Let's see how good you are Michael." She sounded surprisingly friendly and calm about the whole situation. Maybe she thought this was only going to be a friendly sparring match. That helped me feel a lot less afraid, I knew Rainbow was stronger than me and faster than me after all... Maybe she really has forgiven me for putting her through everything that I have…
"Oh and feel free to do some of those Pegasus style moves you know, Dash, he's been reading up on them." I looked back and gave him a short glare of hatred. "What I didn't pressure you, just like I said I wouldn't."
"Oh you are so full of-"
"Michael, let's get started!" Rainbow interrupted me as she waited. Meanwhile he put on his jacket and buckled his sword around his waist and headed toward the window. Seeing our confused looks he said over his shoulder.
"Nobody ever looks up, not even the Pegasi. But I will return later."
Man that guy is weird; it's hard to believe he's really a part of me… "Okay, we're going shoplifting" I called to him as he had one foot already hanging out the window.
"Wear a jacket!" I stifled down a laugh as he flung himself outside, and it was then I stopped to wonder what he's going to get himself into, but that could wait for later…
"You ready?" Rainbow asked after he had flung himself outside.
"Not real-"
"Three-two-one-go!"
THUD!
"Rainbow you're too good at this." I looked over my shoulder to see her smirking back at me. This had been the fifth time she had pinned me, in a row as well. My check was pressed against the hard vinyl floor and my arms held behind my back.
"You're getting better, don't beat yourself up. Oh wait, you don't have to!" She chuckled at how easy I was to be pinned, despite the height and weight difference.
The pirate's encouragement didn't improve my performance at all; in fact the sparing round of martial arts had turned more into wrestling by now. Even though my arms and hands gave me a heck of a lot of reach and leverage, it didn't help much in close quarters. Because when it came to wrestling she was stronger and more dexterous than I was, with those wings of hers. Despite all of this I still managed to pin her every few rounds, relishing the short victory when it came. Rainbow had to change her tactics often, because I found that she would repeat the same movements in the same moves, so whenever she made the mistake of repeating a move more than twice I had managed to win that round.
She'd been delighted to find another worthy opponent since I'd had found myself in Equestria. She was still considerably stronger than I was, but I'd picked up quite a few tricks from our matches.
"Alright, let me up and let's see if you can do that again." Before she could answer, Twilight burst through the door.
"Michael there's-"she stopped and blinked in confusion at the scene.
"Hey Twilight, how's it going?" I said in a mock casual way.
"Uh…We have a little problem with your 'friend'" I felt that Twilight had to be holding in a laugh by seeing me being held down by something half my own size, then again it was Rainbow Dash, and I think she knew well that she couldn't beat me or Rainbow in a wrestling match without her magic…Well maybe not Rainbow anyway.
"Oh great, what's he done now, got caught trying to break into the royal vault or something?"
"Actually…Yes."
"You did what!" Twilight screamed at him.
"I told you, I tried to break into the most secure wing of the magic archives in broad daylight, at least try to listen. What we have to focus on now though is getting me out of this prison." The pirate told us as he scribbled unreadable equations in the dirt.
"You know, I think you belong in there if you were stupid enough to do something like that." I said back to him.
"I had a good enough reason though" we stood awaiting his ridiculous answer. "The princess doesn't trust me so she obviously wasn't going to give me the key, she wouldn't believe me that her precious universe is in danger, and so this was all I was left to do. I am a pirate however so to be fair it is in my own nature to steal. Or at least I'm dressed as a pirate…What up with making me a pirate Michael?"
"Look, you wanted to learn what it's like to be real and so here it is; real consequences for idiotic actions. Welcome to the real world, it can be a pain in the ass can't it?"
"We have got just one more night to be in this city before…" he hesitated. "Well before we go back… to ponyville that is! And what waits there needs a certain type of magic which can come from a certain pony from a certain book. But get her to come down and see me, if we don't get that book and get back to ponyville it's going to be a hell of a lot harder to fix."
"Fix what" Twilight spoke up "what is so important about this book? And why do you think the princess will see you?"
"Okay, I can prove it to both of you." He sat there mumbling to himself as he wrote equations in the soft dirt beneath him. "Go to her and tell her these exact words: 'our universes are collapsing and if we don't get a certain book from the Star-swirl wing, then it's all going to end up like that.'" We paused, waiting for him to continue.
"Like what?" Twilight asked.
"Just go up there and tell her."
"You think you have all the answers don't you?" I said with an irritated tone.
"That's because I do, well most of them anyway…But go and repeat those words to her."
So sure enough we did, not sure what good it would do him, but we encountered the princess none the less. And when we did we repeated the words, careful to remember them exactly. When he told them to us he had a grim look suddenly take over.
"Well he said 'our universes are collapsing and if we don't get a certain book from the Star-swirl wing, then it's all going to end up like that.' But he didn't tell us what-"I was interrupted by a loud sound of crumbling and cracking as one of the decorative pillars collapsed under itself. It lay there as a pile of shattered marble. "That I guess…"
After explaining to the princess that he told us to say those exact words, and some reassuring he didn't use any black magic, she agreed to come down and visit him. When we entered the small, stone room deep beneath the castle, he looked surprisingly comfy as he just lay back on the hard bunk bed.
"Oh good, you told her exactly what I said."
"How did you use magic from all the way down here?" Celestia asked.
"It was not magic Celestia, but perfect timing. If you look at your kingdom, if you really look, you can see the signs everywhere. Buildings collapsing, freak weather, animals acting strangely, it all adds up." He sat on the edge of his plain dark green bunk bed.
"What are you saying? That my kingdom is not run properly?" She narrowed her eyes at his absurd equation.
"Oh no it is of course a very well-run kingdom. But something much more grave has come upon it, worse than any monster or demon you have ever faced. You may not want to accept it but your universe is falling apart at the seams, and ironically I am the only one who knows how to stop it and where to do it. If you had looked more closely, I am sure you would have spotted it by now."
"And why should I believe you? You, who attempted to steal priceless scrolls and Manu scriptures."
"Three…Two…One…" There was a muffled rumbling that came from upstairs. "Proof enough?" She asked with a smirk across his face.
"If it's so important than just spit it out already!" I said as I grew more and more impatient, and my voice turned into a yell.
"Very well," he swung himself around to be sitting on the edge of the bed. "Cracks are appearing everywhere in this universe because Michael here doesn't belong," he pointed a finger accusingly at me.
" He's missing from our world and this world doesn't want him. That is why those two pillars just collapsed-"another muffled rumble "and a sculpture. But you can't see these cracks because they haven't happened yet, but then again they have, it's all very confusing but basically; they only exist for a split second and only very few exist for longer than that. I know where the permanent one is, the one what can stop all of this and the one that can…" He hesitated again and quickly glanced at me, then continued. "Well the one that…give us an idea of what's going on, yes that's right."
"I am sure those are simply my loyal researchers performing merely a few tests." Celestia turned to walk out, but he called out again.
"Okay Celestia but by the way those 'experiments' are going I would say that this whole castle will be rubble in a few days' time." This stopped her in her tracks. She stared blankly, assessing what he had told her. "By tomorrow half of Canter lot would have collapsed." He wrapped his hands around two bars and leaned closed to them. "Do you really want to take the chance that I'm lying?"
With a heavy sigh she decided that the safety of her people came first, and this human had not caused any trouble in the past. And this castle had been her home for over one thousand years; it held too many memories and possessions for her to take the risk. "Very well, you shall be released. But you shall be watched by armed guards, if you break any more laws I will not hesitate to give you a life sentence, no matter what you say. Is that clear?"
"Good! So" he hopped down and made the softest of 'thud's as his boots hit the soft dirt. "I will need you to come along, get me some books on time travel, get me my sword and maybe some mead."
"Your friend is very rude" Celestia whispered and shot me a disapproving glance, as did Twilight.
"I know, but unfortunately, he's also right. We've all just seen the evidence so he obviously knows that he's talking about." We all moved outside and began to ascend the stone steps, Celestia stopping and ordering his release on the way. After the whole way he has been acting, his alibi that he had somehow come out of my mind was getting less and less believable by the second.
On our way out, as we trailed behind the other ponies, I remembered a question I had wanted to ask him. "By the way, what happened last night?"
He looked at me and his brow furrowed "you can't remember?" I shook my head. "Faith en Begorrah, this is happening faster than I thought. I thought we would have more time but…I guess this universe just doesn't like to change history at all!" He stared off into space before realising he hadn't given a straight answer. "Oh sorry, nothing interesting happened. We showed up Trixie, walked around town, went to the nightclub, so no big disasters or anything of the like…That Taz guy is a pretty good DJ though."
Eventually the princess parted ways with us; she was going to take her pegasi-drawn chariot chair…thing, over to ponyville while we took the train. Shortly after we met up with ever pony else and started to our way back to the station. On the way it turned out to be a quiz show for the pirate, getting bombarded with question from Twilight. Every now and then he would look over to me, suspicious that I hadn't said a word this whole time.
"So how did you put a human on the moon without using magic or wings?"
"That is something I cannot tell you" he responded. "If I did it would just speed up the process of the whole universe crumbling!"
"Well…Why would it do that then?"
"Because it would alter history! For a unicorn who has met herself from the future, you know so little about timelines and paradoxes."
"How would it alter history for one pony to know one piece of human knowledge?"
"Listen, when I say 'alter history' I don't really mean we will alter the entire timeline. I mean that it would be giving ponies' knowledge they were never meant to have. We've already got two things that were not meant to be, and Michael has left a large enough footprint on your world already, so we don't need ponies knowing forbidden knowledge. It would be like if every pony got magic as powerful as Celestia's, everything would go into chaos. Why? Because only Celestia was meant to handle that kind of power, see what I'm getting at here? Ponies were never meant to know about human science."
"Uh…You guys." Rainbow said.
"We've done enough damage as it is."
"Hey, pirate guy!"
"We don't need more damage being done."
"HEY LISTEN!" She flew in front of him and shook him by the shoulders, none too gently either.
"WHAT!"
"Take a look where we are!"
And then we saw it. Something so blatantly obvious that it hid right under our nose, as we were distracted by everything else. We finally saw the one thing that we are always aware of but never pay attention to, our surroundings. Because as we looked we realised.
We stood in the middle of Canterlot square.
"And your point is?" He asked.
Rainbows face-hoofed and gently landed on the ground, "you said that we shouldn't do anything to ruin this whole timeline thing! Then you get seen by everypony in town!"
"Yeah" spike stepped in. "For someone who has all the answers, that was a pretty stupid move."
"Well what harm is there in a few more ponies knowing humans exist?" He casually started walking again.
"A few, try the whole of Canterlot!" Spike said as we walked (or flew) beside him.
"Do you have any idea how fast news spreads here?" Rarity added.
"And once word gets out to th' other cities, that's game over for ya." Applejack said.
He made a slight dismissive gesture with his hand. "You have all got to learn not to be so fearful about the way people see you. Yes people will reticule you and taunt you, but if you look every great pony that has ever lived has accepted it. And the secret to accepting it is realising, that no matter how well people know you or how they see you, there is always more underneath. And no one has the right to tell you what you can or cannot be."
"What? We just don't want the world to blow up because you had to be so 'fearless!'" I told him.
"Regardless! All of you humans can learn an important lesson from that little monologue, and if you don't want to, then fine."
His words, surprisingly, did well to raise my spirits. It was like a tiny ember of hope suddenly caught alight. It made me realise that all this time, all this while surrounded by ponies I was trying to avoid myself. Dodging through alleyways, lying about our history, not wanting anyone to even know I existed. I had been running from who I was, who I am. A wise purple mare once told me that friendship is magic, the way I see it it's been nothing but tragic. Humans had a dark history, but these creatures didn't know of us at all, humanity could have a clean slate here.
I didn't need to run from who I am anymore, or what I was. I am human and there's nothing I can do about it, even changing bodies can't destroy what is inside. It was then I learned to be proud of myself. Nobody can change me and nobody can judge me at all. You are who you are and if you hide that, you're going to lose track of it.
I had found it again. I had found him again. Because now it was so clear who that mysterious man was. Rattling the bars and breaking free ever since I decided to hide behind that tree so long ago. He was the part of me deep down inside fighting to be who I really was, the part who kept yelling not to be normal, not to fit in, to dare to be unique. With this revelation a fire brewed in me, filling me with courage and energy and excitement. I took a slow deep breath, closing my eyes as the fire grew and grew and licked at my soul. With my exhale came a burning energy that spread through my body, pulsing through my veins and filling me to my fingertips as I brimmed with warmth, confidence, with its otherworldly energy that seemed to glow and shine from within me, bursting outwards in powerful strides.
I didn't see it, but felt it, as he stopped and a weary smile grew across his face.
I opened my eyes.
It was time to show these ponies what a true human could do.