It's been a week since that fateful day. The day I got locked into sharing a room with the Princess of the Night. Luna. Honestly, it's not so bad. I sleep across the room from her, next to the window, very pleasant scenery. However, if you can ignore the horrific snoring! You should be fine. Seriously, the sound of a BULLET doesn't even compare to her snore. I'm not kidding, she snores and the room shakes.
And let's not forget-
“YES MY LOYAL SUBJECTS, IT WOULD BE MY HONOR TO BECOME THY NEW QUEEN” Luna shouted in her sleep.
-The famous, Royal Canterlot voice.
You wanna know something else? She's nocturnal. That means whenever she isn't blasting her voice in my ears during the day, she's blasting them with video games and equestrian songs during the night!
I wasn't even aware they had video games in this universe, let alone bucking Ipods! How the hell did Steve Jobs even manage to get here anyway!? I haven't sleep in the entire week i've been here.
I look into a mirror to see my bloodshot red and blue eyes. I had to do something, this snoring, it was too much! TOO MUCH!
“What could I do to stop this racket!?” As my thoughts raced a thousand miles an hour. Luna's snores got louder and louder to me with each breath she took. I looked around profusely, my neck feeling as if it would snap from all the turning it was doing. The snoring continuing to get louder and louder.
I cracked. “AHHHHHHHH!!” I looked to the mirror inside my crib and grabbed it. I lifted it over my head screaming “FOUL BEAST OF RACKET, I BANISH THEE TO THE FURTHEST AND FOULEST DEPTHS OF TARTARUS AND BEYOND!” I tossed the mirror at Luna's head, but it instead smacked the rim of her royal bed, and made no damage to her at all.
I didn't even wake her up. The snoring continued, I placed my hooves on my eyes and quietly sobbed in agony.
“BE SILENT YOU INSOLENT CHILD! I must raise the moon as my sister lowers the sun.” Luna screamed, of course THAT would wake her.
“I didn't ask for your job description you stupid horse!” I retorted shaking my hooves, which I had begun to hate, being unable to flip the bird and all. If I could though, I am fairly certain my fingers would be sprained due to constant use.
“Cease thy attempts at flattery, young one!” she said sitting up. “To raise the moon requires a great deal of mental focus, one which I hath by getting a full day's rest," she stepped out of the bed "And thou ar-” She stepped onto some of the glass from the mirror.
She caused some of the pieces to float near her.
“Did thou attempt an assassination on royalty!?” She fumed causing some of the glass to float around my face. “I knew thy intentions were full for treachery!” The shards began shaking.
The door to the chambers opened, “LuLu? It sounded like the baby was keeping you awake so I-LUNA!” Princess Celestia had screamed in terror. “What are you doing!?”
Luna's face was filled with shock. Her eyes shot to the glass “What? NO!” She dropped the glass attempting to explain herself “I- He!” She aimed her hoof at me.
Now was the moment I had been waiting for, I reached out to Celestia and began crying out to her. “Help me, please!” Celestia's eyes turned towards me filled with sadness, she picked me up with her magic and laid me down on her back.
“Luna, I had expected better of you. To endanger such an innocent child, what purpose could you have had?” She said with a delicious blend of worry, confusion and sternness.
“Sister! An attempt on my life had been made, looketh upon the ground, glass is everywhere and all from his mirror!” She pointed to me again.
“Luna, did you ever think it was an accident?” Celestia said defending me with a calmed but strict voice.
“ACCIDENT?! Tis clear across the room, on the side of my own bed!” Luna's eyes began popping out of her head, disbelieving of everything that was happening. “How could that be an accident?!”
Celestia Focused her gaze on luna, it was so sharp it gave me chills, and I was in the other direction.
“You are fully aware he has magical capabilities and that they are growing. We are not sure how changeling magic acts as they grow, it could be similar to a unicorn and their bursts of uncontrolled magic.” Her voice clearly showing disappointment.
“Maybe you are right sister, my eyes did not actually see any assassination attempt.” Luna resigned.
Celestia nodded her head in agreement with her sister. She turned around and open the door. “I want you to get some sleep, you could use it.” Her voice returned to being it's usual composure.
Luna lowered her head even more and looked at me as Celestia was walking out the door. I smiled and stuck my tongue out at her. The anger clearly smashed back into her face. Head cocked back and she gave me a look that just screamed “War”. Scrunched up face, bared teeth, sharp eyes. Yep, the whole she-bang. And you know what? It was a war I clearly won.
Celestia let me sleep on her back the entire day, I had never been so happy to get something as simple as rest.
----------
I awoke to find myself in my crib, perfectly content with the day's victory. That is until I looked up and saw Luna's crazy stare. Her main of flowing space was somehow messy, her eyes dilated and shrank in direct response with her breathing patterns, which were heavy and sporadic. Her eyes were as bloodshot as mine were.
Something told me today's little mix-up kept her from sleeping.
“Hell-oooo- Shifting SAAAnnddsSSSS” She said to me in an obviously demented tone. “Want to play a game with Mother Lunaahhhh?!” Grinding her teeth mid sentence.
My eyes had never been so huge, now she really was a crazy horse. In retaliation I threw my toy plane at her head. It bounced off showing no effect. She picked me up with her magic and spun me around until I couldn't look straight.
“Thy know the embarrassed mother today,” Her eye twitched, “To be made a fool of, by a mere foal...such a thing,” Her eyes began blinking at different intervals, the synchronization was completely off. “Such, such, such, such a thing is truly a misfortune.” She began nodding.
She drew me straight to her face and looked me dead in the eyes “For you.” She then set me down on the floor and said “I will give you one chance. Bow before your Princess and Mother and I will forgive you.” She opened the door, as if challenging me to run, like she was looking for an excuse to vent her craziness.
I stood on my hind legs, raised my hooves high over my head, puffed out my chest and screamed “COME AT ME BRO!” Then I ran like a little filly out the door in an attempt to get to Celestia. Luna quickly followed suit.
“Don't worry little one, I shall only stun thee!” She said as she began firing magic bursts from her horn. One had hit the wall, the next I barely evaded by moving my head to the right, another hit the ground where I was going to be, I ran around it, and the last one went through my leg. Yeah seriously, THROUGH my leg, these holes are convenient aren't they? Anyway they showed no visible damage to whatever they hit so I didn't feel as “dead meat” as I thought should.
I began coming on a split, going left or right. One led to Celestia the other led to something I don't even wanna know. “I was with Celestia the whole day, I had been staying here for a whole week. I should remember this.” I murmured to myself. I turn right and began pushing myself to go as fast as I could.
“Thou shant escape!” She began firing more bursts of magic, these actually singed wherever they hit. She clearly turned her laser from stun to kill. I jumped to avoid one, pushed over a small decorative table which blocked the other, an unknown number had just been striking around me, but that was going to change. I had to had to push myself onto my front hooves to continue running as her aim was getting sharper and closer.
It was right there! The door to Celestia's room! I can make it just a few more-
Luna had teleported in-front of me.
“BUCKING WALLHAX!” I screamed as I turned and ran the other way. “I'm gonna report you to Microsoft! Or Sony! They are SO gonna ban you!” I screeched at her running away, quickly losing energy.
“Changelings have powers right!? Come on CHANGELING POWERS ACTIVATE! Form of, something that won't get me killed!” I thought with a brain that was beginning to overheat from stress. “SHAPE OF... SOMETHING, ANYTHING JUST CHANGE YOU WORTHLESS BODY!” Screamed aloud. Nothing happened.
I looked out the panned glass windows and felt a deep urge. If this urge could be translated, it would surely be something like “CELESTIA WAKE YOUR FAT FLANK UP AND SAVE YOUR SON!”
I continued running with no energy left, slowing down and Luna catching up.
“Pretty much screwed here.” I groaned as my back began to itch.
Luna fired off another blast of energy, and I was so focused on getting that itch scratched that I didn't notice the blast had gone under me completely and broke down a door. How was that possible? I looked behind me to see my wings flapping. I was flying. See this was the kind of experience that made this new life worth living. Then I dropped and fell to the floor and began rolling.
Yeah, if I survive, I gotta learn to use these things.
I rolled under a guard who picked me up, a yellow coated fellow. His armor covered his mane but his eyes were deep blue on one and green on another. He seemed nice enough, something about him didn't sit right with me though. He looked at me a bit too deeply...I named him Pedo-Pony.
Luna arrived shortly after, totally composed as if nothing had happened. Gotta admit, crazy horse knows how to work it.
“I'll take him General Flat Top.” She said with a certain demure. He handed me over and she took me back to her room and held me over the crib. “Thou hath put up a good fight, but I clearly outmatch thee in every way” she said as that psychotic expression crept back into her face.
Well I was toast, not much to say there. She had me, nowhere to run and even if I could I didn't have the stamina. Her horn began radiating a blue light, the light in the room slowly began being over shadowed by it. She started cackling.
“SHUT UP!” I shouted as I grabbed her face and slammed my head into hers. She dropped me into the crib as her eyes rolled back into her head, she lost her balance and fell down unconscious. I just looked at her with amazement, never had my hard head saved me. I sat there in the crib, shocked, petrified, unable to move or think. A burst of energy hit me.
“And THAT is how Equestria was made!” I exclaimed with glee and gumption before falling out exhausted.
----------
I awoke to the sound of screams. Luna had forgot to close the door last night, and in-front of it was the early morning janitor. He was crying into his hooves due to the extra work me and Luna gave him. I heard someone walking around, it was Celestia walking through the hall, passing by the door I saw her eyes closed and humming a softly tune.
Well, I had survived the night, I had used my wings, even if on accident, and I managed to knock out an alicorn like a BOSS. I felt pretty good about myself.
“Oh yes!" She stopped in-front of the door and opened her eyes. "Luna, please wake up.” Celestia gently beckoned her. And what do ya know, Luna woke up.
“Yes, dear sister?" Luna grunted, it was clearly a lot of effort for her.
"Are you alright?" Celestia questioned.
"I'm fine, i'm just tired. I do sleep during the day afterall" Luna replied with grogginess in her voice.
“Yes, yes I know. But if it is too much trouble...” Celestia seemed unsure.
“Nothing is too much trouble dear sister.” Luna still groggy and yawning a bit.
“Well alright then. It seems I shall be gone for a few days, and I entrust you with the task of raising the sun and the moon.” Celestia said, with that calm voice I had grown to be so accustomed to.
Luna on the other hand shot up like a rocket and began running her mouth a mile a minute. “I-I-I-I-I- B-B- UHH- There- Uhh- You see..." She stopped to collect herself, "Sister I can't take care of both sun AND moon while keeping the child!” She panicked, must be worried I was gonna knock her crazy horse face out again.
“Luna calm down, I know you are not ready for that kind of responsibility yet, so I've asked Twilight and her friends to take care of him for us. This way I can take care of business, and you can take care of the Solar and Lunar cycles.” She said as if she had rehearsed.
She walked up to the crib, and seeing I was awake, leaned her head in and began cooing at me.
“How is my little Shifting Sands doing this morning? Hmm? He doesn't look so well. Does Mama need to comfort her baby boy again?” she said with that tone.
I grabbed a small plastic car and shoved it into her mouth. Her head came back to the upright position her eyes staring into space. Probably wondering if she had done something wrong.
“If you wanna comfort me, do it when I'm being attacked by your crazy sister!” I shrieked in rage. Of course, she did not understand, she took the toy out of her mouth and kissed my forehead. She then walked out with the car in hoof. That was my favorite toy too...
Luna's eyes shot towards me like arrows. "Do not think that this is over young one, there is an entire night between today and tomorrow. We will have a rematch, and I will win!" She said threateningly.
I flicked her nose and went back to bed. If this is going to happen again, I'll need ALL the rest I can get.
----------
Nightfall had shown itself again. Me and Luna were staring at each other, both of us trying to ware down the morale of the other. Neither one of us made a move.
"Art thou prepared for thine defeat"? Luna said to me, clearly full of stamina.
"This might be harder than i thought..." I whimpered to myself.
The tension was thick, the air itself became the only barrier between me and Luna getting into a brawl. Neither of us moved, the tension grew thicker, I could feel the sweat drip down my head and seeing Luna's smile grow didn't help. I didn't know what to do. Luna obviously wasn't going to give me a chance to escape, and every move I could think of making led to an inevitable defeat.
Then I threw caution to the wind and made my move.
"Knight to F5" I said as I moved the chess piece to the side of my king.
"Queen to F5" She said as she took my knight and gave me that wholeheartedly happy grin.
I tossed the board on the side of the room and walked to my crib and pointed to it, signaling her to put me back in.
"Could ye possibly upset? Pray tell what could have possibly upset thee?" She said her head held up high. I pointed to the bed again.
"Ye are obviously upset." She said as she picked me up and dropped me in the crib. "I hath shown my mind tis the superior one!" Luna screamed in her royal canterlot voice.
I turned the other way ignoring it. A this point my ears had adjusted to being broken by her voice. Luna began dancing in victory. I gave her a look of distaste, and she only continued to dance the night away. I then heard this ringing. Not the usual that came from her voice, it was different, deeper. A strange hiss had begun to creep into my ears along side the ringing.
In a snap, I desired to leave the castle. I don't know where I wanted to go, or how to get there, but I had to leave. I began shaking the crib screaming out in rage. I began kicking the bars with my hind legs and after three to four good ones, they were beginning to crack
"I know ye are upset, but aren't thee taking it a bit too far?" Luna said frantically, more than likely worried she would get in trouble again.
I ignored her and broke two of the bars and jumped out the crib and ran for the door, I began to treat the door the same way i did the bars. I was encircled in a blue glow and pulled away from the door. It was Luna, blocking my path. She picked me up with that same magic and brought me near, I growled, snarled and tried to bite her.
"What hath gotten into thee?" She wondered, "Even for thee, thine behavior is surely unkempt" her voice lowered and she sharpened her gaze.
She reacted in the only way she could, she frantically shook me around the room until I snapped back into myself.
"Whatever caused ye to behave like that, we cannot have it happening while ye are away. Are we understood?" She closed up on me.
Unfortunately I didn't hear a single word she said, a strong movement in my stomach made it's way to my throat and then...
The castle walls were filled with Luna's screams, the windows shattered, the floors cracked, the grounds shook, lightning and thunder broke through the sky. All this and Celestia STILL didn't wake up.
"Oh...you're mad now. Uhm, any chance we could forget this ever happened?" I said and tried to smile innocently. I even made a squee sound. She put me in the crib, used her magic to fix the bars and put a barrier around me. She left to clean herself, once she had came back she ignored me and began booming her music and playing Diablo 3.
Thanks to the barrier she had place, the sound didn't get through too much. I laid back thinking about the day i would experience tomorrow.
"Being taken care of by the Mane 6? This is clearly going to be trouble, I can imagine it now. Rainbow Dash ignoring me in totality, Pinkie Pie screaming out my ears, Rarity treating me as if I'm filled with diseased, Fluttershy...poor thing." I said regretfully.
"Who knows how badly I scared her at the party, applejack might take good care of me, and then we come to Twilight. I'm not even sure what to think of her. I might as well be stuck with another 'Loona' once that point is reached. I guess I'll find out tomorrow, it is a new day after all."