Leaving school grounds was probably the most satisfying time of the day when you're a child. But that was not the case at the moment. Firstly, I was only there for about 15 minutes. Secondly, I'm not heading directly home.
Starlight vaguely told me that we're going to a bakery after I asked her. I assume she wanted to surprise me. Maybe we're going to more than a bakery. I pondered this as we were walking through the streets of Ponyville.
I chose not to ride her this time as I told her that I wanted to get used to walking again on my own. The aching in my legs is finally starting to disappear.
I wasn't sure how far our destination was. The signs and banners that were around town didn't have any text on them at all. Just a bunch of pictures symbolizing what type of business the shops they are attached to are. Are these ponies dyslexic or something? Are they all secretly children who never got around learning how to write?
But I suppose it's not fair to always assume. Then again, I am an excellent judge of character. I usually keep my opinions to myself, though.
I'll give them this, though. They sure know how to be decorative.
Having enough of my sight-seeing, I looked down to the ground as I was walking. In my younger years, staring between my feet and what's in front of me has always been a habit. Probably because I didn't want to step on something hazardous, even if I wore shoes. I guess I can write down 'constantly overcautious' to my list of habits.
Suddenly, I was brought to a halt by Starlight who blocked me with her foreleg.
"We're here." she said, looking slightly up.
Our eyes then mutually found the same target. In front of us is probably the most unlikely building I've ever seen. It was a freakin' gingerbread house!
"This is Sugarcube Corner. Ponyville's top bakery and where Pinkie Pie works." Starlight revealed.
Pinkie Pie? Oh, right. The pony who made fun of my old name. Oh, well. Since I've abandoned that name, I doubt she'll make fun of my new awesome one.
"So I take it that she spends all day making sugary treats?" I asked.
"That's right." Starlight answered. "She makes the best sweets you'll ever have in 10 lifetimes."
"Oh. If that's the only thing she makes, I assume she doesn't eat them by herself in her spare time?"
"Well..." Starlight froze. I feel I might've said something a little taboo. Before I could clarify anything, Starlight spoke, "She's not like any pony you'll ever meet. She tends to get over excited over the smallest things and sometimes doesn't make any sense. As for the sweets she makes, she keeps most of them for herself. I don't think I've ever seen her eat a balanced meal."
"Seriously? How is she still alive?" I forcefully asked.
"Trust me, there is nothing in the universe that can explain Pinkie Pie." Starlight said. "On that note, do you have something against her? I know you didn't like her making fun of your old name, but you're never gonna feel better by holding a grudge."
I folded my arms, lamenting my recent reaction to her.
I suppose I can't blame her. Besides, why would I? That name's history and now I'm moving on. I'll let bygones be bygones.
"Nah, I'm not holding a grudge against her. As long as she doesn't try anything inconsiderate, like throw a pie in my face, we'll have no problem."
"Good to hear! Now let's go inside and I'll buy you a treat."
I follow Starlight through the old Western-style tavern door leading inside the bakery. Once inside, I noticed that the interior was more decorative than the exterior. I gave the red velvet-cake wall next to the biscuit-looking door a few knocks to test what the building was really made of.
*Knock* *Knock*
Knock on... Wood.
Of course it's just wood. If it was actually made out of the type of stuff that it was made to look like, the whole bakery would be structurally unstable. I was almost thinking of biting the door when we left too. Why did they have to make this place look so damn tasty?
During my daydreaming reassurance, Starlight moved to the counter and rang the service bell next to the register. Immediately after, Pinkie Pie popped right out from behind the counter, giving Starlight a bit of a scare.
"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! What can I get for you today!?" She exclaimed, reminding me of a certain cartoon sponge.
Starlight chuckled nervously before speaking, "Hi, Pinkie. I'll have the usual. Zero Fate, what would you like?"
"His name is 'Zero Fate' now? I like it! So what'll it be?"
"Um... Surprise me?"
Pinkie responded with a toothy smile wide and creepy enough to make even clowns look attractive. This pony scares me. "Coming ri~ght up!"
Pinkie then zipped across the counter and into the next room, which I assume is the kitchen. In the meantime, Starlight and I took a seat at one of the few round tables in the more open area of the bakery. This place was set up more like a café than a bakery.
While waiting, I was impatiently tapping my finger on the table. Usually, I've always been the patient one in my family. But I guess I lost that habit when I became a kid again. I wanted to pass the time by starting a conversation, even though I was never keen on it, even when I was an adult. I'm socially awkward when it comes to talking with others, especially those whose name I don't even remember because the topics I bring up are always out of context or don't make any sense.
"So, Starlight?"
"Hmm?"
"How long have you been living at the castle?"
"Oh. Let's see... about 3 months now. Twilight actually made me her student after she reformed me out of my selfish ambitions. She's been teaching me the Magic of Friendship."
'Magic of Friendship'? It sounds like a gag to me.
"What did you do that required reformation?"
She opened her mouth, about to say something. But nothing was spoken. She groaned sadly, rubbing one of her forearms, translating that it's a sensitive subject that she doesn't want to talk about.
Fortunately, I can take a hint.
"Oh, don't worry about it. You don't have to say anything. I'll hear you out when you're ready to talk, okay? No pressure."
She responded to my consideration with a genuine smile, satisfied with my understanding. I smiled back at her.
Next thing I knew, Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared right in front of us with our orders in a tray that she was balancing on her poofy mane. She lowered her head, letting the tray gracefully slide onto the table.
"Here's your order!" Pinkie exclaimed.
In front of us were some pretty delectable treats. On Starlight's side, she got 6 cupcakes with green frosting and small slices of apple on top of them. "For Starlight, her usual half-dozen Apple Cider cupcakes!"
As for me, I got a large pie as big as my face with pink, fluffy cream covering the whole thing. I couldn't tell what was inside. "And for Zero, my newest creation; The Pinkie Pie Surprise!"
Well, I guess I did say 'Surprise me'. But is this even safe to eat?
"Thanks, Pinkie. How much do I owe you?" Starlight said.
"This one's on the house! For every first-time customer, they get a freebie! And since you're with him, I'll include that deal to you too!"
Well, that's awfully generous of her. Maybe I really did misjudge her. Although, I'm not sure I can finish this whole thing.
"Thank you, Pinkie Pie." I said.
"You're very welcome, cutie pie! Now go on, have a bite, and tell me what you think." She responded, excitedly.
"Okay!"
I can see why she named this pie after herself. The pink frosting looks exactly like her cotton candy mane. It's like she cut off her mane, placed it in a dish, magically turned the hair into cream and regrew her hair again instantly. If, somehow, I found out that that's exactly what Pinkie did, I'm gonna officially label myself as psychic.
I took a fork from the little utensil bin in the center of the table and gently poked the pie with it.
... But now I wish I hadn't.
The moment my fork dug into the cream, I was suddenly splattered in the face by a smaller pie that was hiding in the bigger pie.
Shutting my eyes due to flinching saved me in the nick of time from agonizing pain.
I heard cackling laughter coming from Pinkie after hearing a shocked gasp from Starlight.
Pinkie Pie... she... threw a pie in my face...
I can't believe this. I was willing to let this pink lunatic off the hook earlier, but now she's crossed the line. I opened the door to my circle of friends and she betrayed me!
I feel so embarrassed... so violated... so betrayed.
My body was reacting to the negativity building up inside my stomach. I was shaking like a bobblehead doll in a moving car. I can feel myself weeping through this damn cream on my face.
I... I don't want to be here anymore.
Clenching my teeth tightly, I sobbed.
Pinkie didn't stop laughing at the pain she unknowingly inflicted to my psyche.
"Pinkie Pie!" I heard Starlight yell, "How could you do something so cruel!?"
Pinkie ceased her maniacal laughter after feeling Starlight's raised voice. Her smile disappeared when she saw Starlight's serious expression and my pathetic state. She gasped.
Starlight went around the table and pulled me into a hug to comfort me. She didn't care that my cake-ridden face was getting her fur dirty.
"Look what you've done!" Starlight exclaimed to the pink pony, "You just made Zero cry!"
"But..." Pinkie said quietly, her voice starting to break from the guilt, "He said he wanted me to surprise him."
"Yes, he wanted you to surprise him, not assault with a pie!"
"I'm sorry! I didn't think he'd take it so badly."
Just hearing Pinkie's inconsideration made me finalize my opinion of her. There's no way I want to be friends with someone who attacks children with pies and doesn't consider how they might feel about it. My sobbing turns into outright crying and I grip onto Starlight's coat. She responds by resting her chin on top of my head and rubs my back.
"Ssshhh, it's okay. I'm here, sweetie."
Hearing Starlight comfort me once again has opened me up to speak. "I... *sniff* wanna go... *hic* h-home." I whimpered in sorrow.
Starlight then breaks our embrace and levitates me on her back. I wrap my arms around her, hugging her neck. She makes her way towards the exit but stops to say something to Pinkie.
"Pinkie... I don't want to see you until you clean up your act. Zero's just a child, not an adult. He has more sensitive feelings. Think about what you've done." Starlight said coldly before finally exiting the building.
Neither of us bother to even look at the pony who made me cry. All Starlight could do was give her a warning. As I continued to keep my grip on Starlight, we made our way back to the castle.
This is exactly why I can't cope with adults.