Twilight Sparkle was wandering through the hallways of the strange school on the other side of the mirror that she now knew to be Canterlot High, in the form of a strange creature that she had never seen before, but most closely resembled a skinny minotaur. Spike had been transformed into a dog.
Discord hadn't been joking when she said that she would probably meet some familiar faces. She had already bumped into Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack, and Applejack had already mentioned that Rainbow Dash was around here somewhere as well. Although, it seemed like they were not on the best of terms at the moment.
And for that matter, Pinkie Pie didn't seem to think too highly of Fluttershy either. How anypony... or rather, anybody could ever have a negative thing to say about Fluttershy, she could not understand.
Thankfully, when Twilight's crown was thrown through the portal, Fluttershy had found it and taken it before Sunset Shimmer herself had returned, thinking that it was lost property. When Fluttershy had taken it to Principal Celestia, she had mistaken it for the missing crown to be awarded to the winner of what was known as the fall formal.
As Twilight turned a corner in the hallway, Twilight realized that she was walking toward a dead end. The lights were sputtering in this section of the hallway. She heard foot steps behind her.
"Can't believe I didn't recognize you earlier."
Twilight turned around to face Sunset Shimmer, who approached her.
"Should have known that Princess Celestia would send her prized pupil here after my crown. And her little dog too."
"It's my crown!" cried Twilight, pointing a thumb at herself and secretly hoping that she wasn't misunderstanding the meaning of the gesture.
"Whatever," said Sunset Shimmer. "This is just a minor setback for me. You don't know the first thing about this place, and I already rule it."
"If that's so, why do you even need my crown? You went to an awful lot of trouble to switch it with this one."
Twilight reached into the backpack that her two saddlebags had strangely been transformed into and produced the crown which originally came from the school.
She knew that Sunset would have no way of knowing that the crown was now enchanted, and this was the perfect excuse to have it at the ready should Sunset attempt to attack her in this dark, dead end hallway.
"Why did you even bring that thing back here?" asked Sunset in surprise.
"Because I was going to give you the chance to trade my crown back in exchange for it."
"Why would I do that? That thing is worthless. My crown has the power to make me a queen. Pop quiz! What happens when you bring an element of harmony into an alternate world?"
Twilight started to answer, but realized that she didn't actually know. She tapped her finger to her chin, trying to think of something.
"You don't know?" cried Sunset in mock disbelief. "Seriously? And you're supposed to be Princess Celestia's star student? Then again, what were the chances she would find somepony as bright as me to take under her wing after I decided to leave Equestria? Bit embarrassing that you were the best she could do."
Spike, who had momentarily hid inside of Twilight's backpack, popped out of it again to growl at Sunset angrily.
"Oh, and I'd keep an eye on your mutt. Hate for him to be... taken away from you."
"Is that a threat?" asked Spike menacingly.
"Oh, of course not!" responded Sunset. "But I'd cut down on the chatter if I were you. Don't want everyone to know that you two don't belong here, now would you?"
Sunset looked back to Twilight. "You want to be a princess here? Please." She began to walk away. You don't know the first thing about fitting in."
Before Sunset could turn the corner, suddenly a very tall man rounded it and stood in front of her with his arms crossed. Ironically, it was abundantly clear from his very appearance that he did not fit in in the slightest either.
Twilight and Spike both gasped, knowing exactly who this was. It was the human counterpart to Discord. As far as Twilight could tell, he was the same species as all of the other people in this place, but his strange choice of attire was completely mismatched, and emulated the Equestian Discord's body with surprising accuracy.
Discord was easily the tallest person in this world that she had yet seen, including Principal Celestia. Although his body seemed to technically be about the same thickness as her own, with his extreme height, he appeared to be stretched out so much that it gave him an appearance of being very skinny and lanky. His skin seemed to be purely the same shade of grey as the Equestrian Discord's head, and he was wearing a rather worn looking brown trench coat that matched the color of his counterpart's torso. The left sleeve was ripped at the cuff, matching the place where the Equestrian Discord's coat stopped and his eagle claw began. The right sleeve was almost completely ripped off, but Discord had apparently sewn on a yellow sleeve to replace it. It was obviously a match for the other Discord's lion arm. He was also wearing a yellow fingerless glove on his right hand, in contrast to his other hand, on which he was wearing nothing, save for a bracelet that was the same shade of yellow as his counterpart's eagle claw.
He was wearing a black shirt, but it could barely be seen underneath the red vest he wore over it, which matched the color of his counterpart's tail. Of course, this Discord did not have a tail at all. His pants were a light brown, almost khaki, that matched his counterpart's deer leg. On his left foot, the leg of which corresponded to the deer leg, he was wearing a simple brown boot. However, on his right leg he was wearing a humongous green rubber boot that he wore overtop his pants and reached up to his knee. It was the same shade of green as his counterpart's lizard leg, and the sole of the rubber boot was the same white as the claws which protruded from his counterpart's lizard leg.
After a moment of staring at him, Twilight realized that the various patches that adorned his strange clothes were all dark blue on his right side and light blue on the left side. Exactly the same colors that corresponded to his counterpart's wings. Also, she noticed that this Discord's eyes were yellow with red irises, one smaller than the other, giving him a slightly deranged look. Just like the Equestrian Discord.
The differences that this Discord had from his Equestrian counterpart were few. He lacked any actual horns, wings, or tail, and the hair on his head was entirely white, unlike his counterpart's black mane. It was also rather longer than how his counterpart usually wore his, and in addition to his usual thin beard, this Discord also had a thin but long moustache.
Twilight had seen many other people in this place that looked similar to ponies that she knew, and they looked so similar that it was uncanny. But uncanny didn't fully describe what she was feeling in Discord's case. This Discord, despite being the same species as the rest of the people here, looked so similar to the Equestrian Discord that it was creepy.
"Well now, what have we here?" he said, in a voice that perfectly matched what Twilight was expecting.
"Mister Discord," said Sunset uneasily. It was the first time that Twilight had seen her act as though she was not in complete control. And knowing Discord, it was likely for good reason. "What brings you here?"
"It's my off period. You know, when I heard that the fall formal crown had been stolen, I suspected you, Sunset, but Sunset is not the one I have discovered holding that crown."
Twilight looked down at the crown in her hands in horror.
"I didn't steal it!" she cried at Discord desperately "I promise you!"
"Hmm, I'm being told one thing, but my eyes are telling me another. Maybe the students were right after all, maybe I am crazy! Tell me, am I crazy?"
Twilight sputtered. "What? I wasn't saying that... I mean... Um..."
"You're definitely crazy," said Sunset. "But that is definitely the fall formal crown in Twilight's hands."
"And just how did you wind up with it?" asked Discord, walking forward and glaring down at Twilight. His arms never uncrossed, leaving Twilight feeling quite intimidated.
"Uh, you do know that the crown was already found and returned to Prin...cipal Celestia, don't you?" asked Twilight meekly.
"I know. Principal Celestia informed the staff that we didn't need to be on the lookout for it anymore. I was under the impression that Vice-principal Luna was keeping it safe. I am wondering how anybody could have stolen it yet again."
"I was just yelling at Twilight because she got jealous of me and stole the crown," said Sunset, crossing her arms.
Twilight turned and looked at Sunset in despair.
"Wait a second, I wasn't jealous of anyone! You're the one who stole the crown!"
Sunset ignored Twilight. "Look, I'll admit that I took the crown the first time, but I was only borrowing it. Twilight and I took it back to my house and we made a replica of it, and then we brought the real one back. If you examine that crown closely, you'll notice that it's really light and made out of cheap plastic. That's because it's the real fall formal crown. I decided that after three years of taking home worthless crowns, it's time I had one that I could actually be proud of. The crown you found earlier today is made of real metal and glass because it's the one that Twilight stole from me!"
"You made a metal crown?" asked Discord in surprise. "How?"
"I have a lathe at my house," said Sunset.
"Really?" said Discord, suddenly interested. "Your parents let you have something like that?"
"I don't live with my parents. I'm old enough to be legally independent, even though I'm still in high school."
"You seriously believe her?" asked Twilight in surprise.
"You don't?" asked Sunset.
"Well, I'm not surprised about the whole living by yourself thing, but the rest of it?"
"I've never actually held the crown in my own hands," said Discord. "I'll admit that I find it perfectly believable that Principal Celestia wouldn't spend the extra money for a quality crown when we all know that you are going to take it home again, but then, Celestia often doesn't see things my way. But now I have no idea whether Sunset is telling the truth. But I know how I can find out. Twilight. Give me the crown."
Twilight hesitated.
"Twilight, give me the crown or this is going to get ugly. We don't want that."
"Okay," said Twilight weakly, and she finally handed it over to Discord. "But you can't let Sunset have either one of the crowns. They don't belong to her."
"That remains to be seen. Both of you, come with me. We're going to take a little trip to Vice-principal Luna's office."
"When Vice-principal Luna confirms that that crown is the real one, you'll let me have the one that I made back, right?" said Sunset.
"You shouldn't have 'borrowed' it in the first place," said Discord. "But, why would you make a replica of the crown in the first place? The replica has no originality, and therefore no value."
"Look, it's valuable to me, and that's all that I care about," said Sunset. "I don't care whether you think that it's worthless."
"Well said. Very well," said Discord. "If you are telling the truth, I see no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to keep the replica. If... you write me an essay defending the artistic merits of recreating existing art. It will be your grade for the semester."
"Wait, what?" cried Twilight in confusion.
"Ugh," moaned Sunset into the palm of her hand. "Twilight, meet Mister Discord. He teaches art class here at CHS. He has very unconventional methods of teaching. On one hand, he is actually kind of cool because he basically lets us do whatever we want in his class. He doesn't even care if we text in the middle of class."
Twilight stared back at Sunset uncomprehendingly.
Sunset rolled her eyes, and then continued. "On the other hand, he is completely nuts, and doesn't have an actual outline for graded assignments at all. Nobody in his classes gets the same assignments. Once a semester, he randomly gives us each different assignments on a whim, and if we happen to do poorly on that assignment for whatever reason, we get a poor grade for the semester."
"What?" cried Twilight in surprise. "But- but..."
"Discuss my controversial teaching methods if you want," said Discord, "but move while you do it. Sunset, kindly lead the way to Vice-principal Luna's office. Oh, and Twilight? For your sake, make sure that talking dog of yours remains hidden."
Twilight let out a sound of surprise.
"Not everyone around here is as lenient about that stuff as me."
A short while later, Twilight and Sunset found themselves seated in a waiting room outside of Luna's office. Discord had taken the crown into the office alone and was talking to Luna in private. There was a desk clerk behind a desk in the waiting room making sure that Twilight and Sunset didn't try to run off. Twilight was slightly startled when she realized that it was probably Miss Harshwhinny.
"You lose, Twilight," Sunset whispered. "You should never have brought that thing back here. Now, because you did, I'm going to get the real crown back, and I don't even have to go through the fall formal to get it."
Twilight let out a worried whimper.
"You've lost, and you know it."
"Do you have any idea who Discord is?" whispered Twilight. "Back in Equestria, I mean?"
"No. You mean to tell me that he has a duplicate over there? Is he an even bigger freak than this one?"
"Well, he has phenominal magic power, so... yes? I'm not surprised you don't know who he is though. I didn't know who he was either until Princess Celestia explained it to me. Do you remember the statues in the royal gardens?"
Sunset narrowed her eyes at Twilight.
"Why am I even talking to you about this? I don't even care." Sunset whipped her head away from Twilight and stared straight ahead.
"There was a statue of a strange creature called a draconequus in the royal gardens."
Sunset suddenly looked back at Twilight.
"I do remember that statue. Supposedly a representation of... holy crap... Discord."
Sunset looked back at the doorway to Luna's office with wonder of her face.
"But why in two worlds would there be an actual living, breathing copy of that statue in this world?"
"Because the statue in the royal gardens wasn't actually a statue at all! Discord was a real creature, and he took over all of Equestria over a thousand years ago before the Princesses turned him into stone with the elements of-!"
Suddenly, Twilight cut herself off and looked at Sunset in shock.
"Wait a minute, you mentioned the elements of harmony before. How do you even know about them? I didn't know about them until right before I found the element of magic! Well, that's not completely true, I did read about them a few times before, but I didn't think anything of it at the time."
"Looks like you didn't study as hard as I did," said Sunset with a smile.
Twilight narrowed her eyes at Sunset.
"You take that back."
"No."
"Urgh!" Twilight crossed her arms and looked away from Sunset.
There was a period of awkward silence.
"You know," said Twilight after a while, "ever since I got here, I've been seeing familiar faces all over the place. Did that happen to you too?"
"Yeah..." said Sunset without any hint of menace in her voice. In fact, she looked down at the floor as she said it. "But a lot of those people went their own way over time. I don't know where most of them are any more."
"I've noticed something strange. A lot of their ages seem wrong. I don't know what the normal life span is for... whatever creature we are-"
"We're called humans Twilight. We live for about the same length of time as a pony does."
"Oh. Well, I may not be an expert at gauging a human's age, but I'm pretty sure that all of the students here are close to the same age. But the ponies in Equestria that they correspond to are often much younger or older than they seem to be. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle are much younger in Equestria than they are here, but then there are ponies like Fluttershy who are older than they are here. Even I seem to be younger here than in Equestria."
"I have no explanation for you, Twilight. Some things just can't be explained."
"I've learned that the hard way. But, actually, I do have a theory."
"Oh really? Let's hear it then, this should be good."
"Well, even though everyone seems to be about the same age here, there doesn't seem to actually be anybody who is older than someone else when they shouldn't be. There is also the fact that Celestia and Luna appear to be in their thirties, maybe mid thirties?"
"Sounds about right," said Sunset.
"Well, it seems like everyone's age in comparison to their ages in Equestria follows some sort of logarithmic function. Ponies who are about eighteen in Equestria seem to be approximately the same age here, and it takes a case like Celestia's and Luna's, who are over a thousand years old in Equestria, to be even as old as thirty-five."
"Hmm. That's actually a better theory than I was expecting."
"Oh my gosh!" blurted Twilight. "I just realized something. If Celestia is in her thirties here and is over a thousand years old in Equestria, then what does that say about Discord? He looks like he's about sixty years old here, right?"
"You know, I still am not sure that I believe you about him. I admit, you might be telling the truth, since there do seem to be facts that I can't just ignore... but I mean, come on."
"If Discord is sixty here, then back in Equestria, he must be at least five hundred thousand years old!" cried Twilight in shock. "If not more!"
"Well, it was a good theory, but there is just one problem with it," said Sunset. "When I first came into this world it was about twelve years ago, and I was almost your age back in Equestria. When I stepped through that mirror, I was in the body of a first-grader. I was already a genius, but putting the mind of a full grown mare into the body of a child? School was a breeze. And, the strangest thing of all is that when I went back to Equestria a while ago, I didn't seemed to have aged very much. So I don't know what the heck is going on. People's ages between here and Equestria are just all kinds of messed up."
"Oh. So maybe Discord isn't that old in Equestria. What's he like over here?"
"I already said. He's nuts. Half the time when he speaks, I either don't have any idea what he's talking about, or I do understand it and it's just completely ridiculous. He's also one of the only people at this school who doesn't respect me. He only began teaching this year, but apparently he used to work at this school before I attended. I know that he and the principals have some sort of a history, and it isn't pleasant, but all of my attempts to find out anything about him turn out to be fruitless."
Suddenly, the door to Luna's office opened. Luna walked out, followed by Discord, who was holding both crowns in his hands.
Twilight looked through the open doorway into Luna's office and noticed that the light was off, and had never seemed to be on in the first place. There were blinds over the window, completely blocking any outside sunlight. The only light in the office was a dim lamp on her desk.
Sunset stood up with a triumphant smile on her face.
"So, now that you know that I was telling the truth, I would like my crown back," she said, holding her hand out to Discord.
"Not so fast," said Luna. "I'm afraid that we simply have no idea which crown is the real one. It is clear that you have in fact created a replica of the fall formal crown, but I do not know which one it is. I will have to ask my sister which one is the real crown, and I won't be able to talk to her until tomorrow. I will allow you to keep the replica once the matter is cleared up... on one condition."
"I'm listening."
"You must not run for the fall formal princess this year."
"What?"
"You heard me. You've won three years in a row now. If you went to the trouble of creating your own crown, which you are going to be allowed to keep, the least you can do is let someone else have the spotlight this time."
"But she is the only other one running," Sunset said, pointing a thumb at Twilight.
"I have a feeling that we might get a few last minute volunteers," said Luna.
Sunset hesitated for about five seconds. "Fine. I won't run."
"Very well. You are dismissed."
"Me?" said Sunset. "What about her?"
"You are dismissed Sunset."
Sunset gave Luna a look before stomping out of the room.
Once they were alone, Luna continued.
"Twilight. Since you have never been to my office before, and on Discord's recommendation, I am going to let you go without punishment. But if you are working with Sunset, perhaps you should re-evaluate your choices. This is all I will say on the matter. Discord wanted to speak to you."
With that, Luna went back into her office and closed the door.
Twilight looked up at Discord nervously.
"Why do you have both of the crowns, if you weren't going to give them to Sunset?" she asked.
"Well, you see, you two know now that the crowns were being held in Luna's office, but she and I agreed that there is a... not insignificant chance of them disappearing again. I am taking them somewhere where they won't be found until the fall formal is over. But anyway, come with me."
"Where are we going?"
"To my classroom."
Twilight followed Discord out of the door and through the halls of the school, saying nothing. Thankfully, the halls were mostly deserted at this time, since most students were in class, but there were a few students who passed by anyway. When they saw Twilight walking alongside Discord, they gave her funny looks, making Twilight feel very self-conscious.
Suddenly, Discord stopped and pulled Twilight asside into an alcove where there were a couple of drinking fountains.
"I know your secret," he said bluntly.
"What?" cried Twilight, trying to hide her panic. "What do you mean?"
"I was spying on you two for a little bit before I stepped out," said Discord. "I know that you don't actually go to this school. And I know that you have a talking dog."
"Look, I can explain!" said Twilight, now no longer hiding her panic. "I'm not even from here!"
"I already know that."
"You do?"
"Yes. You see, something like this has already happened once before."
"Wait, really?" asked Twilight in surprise.
"Oh yes. I never met him myself, but there was once this stoner dude who broke into some government lab somewhere and kidnapped a talking dog because they treated it inhumanely. But after he did that, he was on the run from them, so he and his four friends, including the dog, traveled around the world in their van. In order to evade the cops and make enough cash to live, they would solve mysteries for people. It was the last thing the police would have suspected. That was some time ago though, so I'm not surprised that the talking dog that you stole from them has better enunciation than that other one did. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
"What?" cried Twilight in bewilderment. "You think that I stole Spike?"
"Okay, I get that you have to deny it, but really, your secret is safe with me. But the problem now is that you don't go to this school. We can't have you crashing in the school at night, or some such thing. Do you have a group of friends that you live with in a van, or something?"
"What? No!"
"Are you going to be moving on to the next town soon?"
"No! I have to get that crown first!"
"Well then, that's a problem. I don't understand your obsession with that crown, but if you are not leaving until you get it, then I can't leave you unattended. Not that I would normally care, but if the cops come looking for you and your talking dog, I'll throw them off your scent. When school is over, you'll come with me and stay the night at my house. Until then, you can hang out in my classroom."
Twilight stared at Discord, not believing what she was hearing.
Suddenly, she felt a rustling in her backpack as Spike poked his head out. "I don't think we have a choice, Twilight," he said.
Twilight sighed.
"Alright. I'll go with you."
"Good. Glad we came to an understanding."
Discord started walking again. Twilight followed after him.
"Twilight!" whispered Spike.
"What is it?" she whispered back.
"I've been thinking about something."
"What is it?"
"Discord- Our Discord I mean, gave you that crown because he knew that nobody else would know the pass-phrase except you, right?"
"Yes?"
"But now that crown is in the possession of this Discord! What if he doesn't need to know the pass-phrase? What if he can use the magic in that crown for his own purposes anyway because he is Discord?"
Twilight stopped in her tracks and her eyes bulged.
After a moment, she lightly chuckled. "How could that happen?" she said, failing to conceal worry. "This Discord doesn't even have magic!"
"Neither does Sunset, at least, not when she is in this world, but with your element, she will. What if it's the same with Discord?"
"Even if you're right, he seems nice enough. I mean, he is definitely far to forgiving of people who break the rules, but he still seems... nice..."
"But he's never had magic before!" whispered Spike urgently. "What if he gets it and then goes mad with power? You know that he is fully capable of doing that!"
Twilight gulped. "You're right! We'll just have to not draw attention to the crowns, and hope that we can get them away from him soon!"
"Twilight!" cried Discord, who had stopped a short way ahead and was looking back at her. "Just because I'm keeping your secret doesn't mean I'm going to let you run off on your own."
"Sorry!" cried Twilight, running to catch up.
"Well," muttered Spike. "This should be interesting."