"Well, it sounds like you had a lovely evening, sugarcube."
Applejack stared off somewhere past Rarity's head to the right and into space.
"Oh gosh, why the hay did I come have lunch with you guys?"
"Yeah, Dash, it is a lovely lunch, idn't it?"
Rainbow and Rarity looked at Applejack, whom, in turn, looked off past the pale edges of eternity.
"I was gonna make an honest mare out of her right then and there."
Rainbow cocked a brow and looked sidelong at Rarity. "What's that a euphemism for?"
"Mm, good question, I can't quite remember," Rarity said, staring at Applejack as she rubbed her chin. "She either was planning on marrying her or skipping right to the honeymoon."
Rainbow's eyes darted about. "And what's that a-"
"She was going to lay her down and plow her like a farm field, champ."
"Ooookay then!"
"I'm happy I was able to illuminate you further."
Rainbow took another look at Applejack, still looking dead eyed off into some great unknown.
"I'd say she's got it bad, but she looks less googly-eyed and more like she walked in on her parents making Applebloom."
"Crude," Rarity chided, then admitted, "But true. She seems far more traumatized than infatuated."
"What in the hay did Pinkie Pie do to her?"
"She seduced me, that hot pink succubus!"
The other two hopped as Applejack seemed to crash down to reality. Her descent back to this world had some bounce to it though, as she stared off for a moment again before flickering between her friends.
"She knew," She said, and again. "She knew. Everythin' there was that- that- that got under my coat? Nah! Everything that got under my tail!"
"Tsk, goodness. That corroborates-"
"Hey, I know that word!"
"Very good, champ. -with my own experience. I just didn't seem to react quite as-" Rarity covered her mouth. "-negatively."
"Well, of course, you like getting the tail seduced off of ya!" Applejack snapped. She shrunk back at the look Rarity gave her. "Sorry, sorry. I- I know you and me got different tastes and there ain't nothin' wrong with that. But the game Pinkie's playin' ain't for everypony."
Rarity huffed, turning into a subdued knicker. "Yes, I suppose that's true. Mayhaps we should have a talk with our cotton candy Casahoova before she happens to break too many hearts."
"We should have it with her right quick, I think."
"Why's that, sugarcube?" Rarity asked.
"'Cause how do ya think Fluttershy's gonna react to her?"
Rarity froze stiff then and even Rainbow choked on her drink.
"Oh, so you're going to see Fluttershy too?"
"Yep yep! I gotta crush on her today, so I get to tell her about how I feel!"
Spike looked at Pinkie, frowning as kept walking with her up the winding dirt trail. "Oh yeah, that's a thing you're doing lately, isn't it?"
"Uhhuh! So, what're you up to then?"
"Oh, I just heard Fluttershy was having some animals troubles and I thought I'd help."
"Hey, that's nice of you."
"Just doin' my part to uphold my dragon- is that Starlight?"
"Yep, that sure is Starlight. Hi Starlight!"
As the would-be warlock came closer, it occured to Spike the direction was coming from, quite specifically the direction the two of them were headed.
"Oh no."
"Hey there, Pinkie," she said as she got closer. "Hey there, Spike. Were you going to help Fluttershy too?"
"Oh no, no no no. Starlight, what did you do?"
Starlight looked at him with a frown. "Well, I heard Fluttershy needed help with her animal friends-"
"Did you use magic?"
"Well, yeah."
"Oh my gosh."
"Maybe you didn't notice, Spike," Starlight said, swishing her hair and grinning. "But I'm pretty good with- where're you going?"
"To make sure Fluttershy's cottage is still standing!"
"Oh, okay then." A pause and then, "Hey!" He wasn't listening, just dashing off, leaving her miffed and embarrassed. Starlight rubbed her leg as she watched him go before turning towards the only other pony. "So, hi Pinkie."
"Hiya there, Starlight."
"I, uh-" Starlight crossed her legs. "I heard you were, mmm, seducing everyone?"
"Oh, I guess. Mostly, I've been trying to make everypony I love happy."
"That sounds like you alright!" Starlight glanced askance then. "Albeit, with more ponies hollering about a pink temptress."
"Ha! Sounds like I've been doing a hay of a job."
"So, you have crushes on other ponies?"
Pinkie turned from down the lane towards Fluttershy's college to stare more intently at Starlight. Grinning. "Are you trying to get me to seduce you, Ms. Glimmer?"
"Wha- psh- no, Pinkie! Pinkie Pie? Pinkie, where are you going?"
Pinkie kept prancing down the path towards Fluttershy's. She raised on hoof in salutation. "I'm gonna go see how red I can make Fluttershy turn. Seduce ya later, Starlight!"
"Spike, everything is alright. Starlight was a- enthusiastic helper."
"Fluttershy, the geese are goose stepping, Harry is being overbearing, Angel Bunny is acting like an angel and the wolves are acting like they weren't raised by wolves!" Spike listed, tapping each of his claws in turn. "The reason I know this already is because your mice formed a secret police and are ratting out all the other animals. This is less of an animal farm and more of a social commentary on tyrannical dictatorships via woodland critters."
"I never liked that book," Fluttershy said with a sigh. "Those poor doggies."
"Are you sure you're alright?"
"Well, the animals are a lot less rowdy after Starlight's help," Fluttershy said.
"Yeah, I bet after the Starlight Glimmer patented brainwashing," Spike said, hands on his hips. "Isn't this the same thing she did to you guys?"
"Huh? Um, no. She stuck us in a room and played propaganda over and over over the speaker."
Spike blinked. "Oh. That sounds... mundane."
"This isn't going to be too much trouble either. I just have to look them straight in the eye, put my hoof down and tell them to cut it out."
Spike put his hands on his hips, looking back and forth. "Well, I guess if you're sure." He huffed, crossing his arms. "You've grown a lot, Fluttershy. Your confidence is amazing!"
"Thank you, Spike! I feel like I can handle anything."
Spike heads to the door then, satisfied. "I bet! You can even handle Pinkie Pie coming over to get lubby-dubby with you."
"Of course!"
Spike shut the door after him and Fluttershy blinked.
"Hold on, what?" She took a breath. She meant for it to be a deep breath, but she also wanted to another one right after, so it came out rather shallow. So it did its next rapidly cycled successors.
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Pinkie's coming! And she's gonna get-
"Lubby-dubby!"
Her heart rapidly beat in her chest, she felt cold and hot and clammy all over, her fur was standing on end. Hearing was getting faint, vision was getting white and Holy Father Sun she's having a full blown panic attack. This is- this is really happening.
Her window clicked open and that pink monstrosity of affection clambered through. Fluttershy froze, she stopped moving, she stopped breathing, she was sure she felt her heart stop. She was frozen on the precipice between this waking world and darkness.
"Hey there, Fluttershy!" Pinkie said, hanging halfway through the window. "I just wanted to tell you, I think you're really cute and I like you a lot!" She kissed her own hoof and blew it towards Fluttershy. "Okay, I love you, bye bye!"
The beast of pink and love, the shadow archetype to the angelic Cadance, no doubt, slipped away from the window and back to the sugary Hellscape from whence she came. Fluttershy, for her part, not breathing, slipped away herself, finally falling away to a black and dreamless world.
"oh hello ... my old friend..."
"Oh no, that pink colored floozy got to Fluttershy too! Wake up, Fluttershy! Speak to me!
"Fluttershy, no!"
"Ya know, Rares, I wasn't there, but I bet this was what you sounded like when you were trying to bang Trender-"
Rarity growled. "Rainbow Dash."
"Get it? Cause you were acting like Applejack and now she's acting like you?"
Rarity sniffed primly. "Applejack, is Fluttershy quite alright?"
"Yeah, no hurtin' here. Looks like all she did was get the case of the vapors."
"We must have just missed Pinkie then."
Rainbow snorted. "Or literally anypony else could have come by. It's Fluttershy."
Rarity grimaced. She didn't like it, but Rainbow was right on that account.
Fluttershy's eyes fluttered open and above her a worried orange wearing a bunch of bananas frowned down at her. Really, this fruit salad could use some apples but it was a lot healthier than cotton candy.
"Hnngh, pink, lubby dubby."
"Well, nevermind, that about settles it," Rainbow admitted.
"C'mon, girls. We gots ourselves a pink menace to stop."
"It's just you who's saying that, Applejack."
"Wha- no! Rares agrees with me."
"Actually, I think I quite enjoy Pinkie's romantic streak."
"B-but- Fluttershy!"
"And Fluttershy could use a little shaking out her comfort zone every now and then. I think this was rather tame and gentle."
"Hmph, fine! Don't blame me for whoever she goes after next then!"