I wasn’t sure what to expect when Discord invited me into his home to meet this mysterious guest.
From the outside it looked like a completely normal suburban home. My first sign that something was off was the sugary scent. The brittle-looking wall made me think of wafer treats. My stomach rumbled at the thought.
A snap from my left drew my attention. Part of the home’s beige siding was snapped off and chewed by Discord. He seemed to read my mind as he smiled at me.
“Welcome to the Waffle House,” he said between chews. He offered a bark of the waffle house. “Want some? Made of wholesome buttermilk.”
I eyed the treat suspiciously. You couldn’t pay me enough to eat that. “Uh,n-no thanks,” I shook my head.
In the back of my mind, I could already hear Trojan saying something snarky like ‘Home sweet home, right, Buttermilk?’
The interior held the same vibe; a normal looking home with a strong hint of sweets in the air. Through the hallway we entered what I assumed to be a dining room; a cheap chandelier hung over the round, white clothed table with two chairs across each other. Through the window I could see the twisting and empty void. A reminder I was in Discord’s world now. The lack of an actual sky unnerved my wings.
“Lucy, I’m home!” Discord called out, grinning.
Around the corner, I heard a series of heavy clops climb down stairs. I straightened my stance, eager to welcome the one pony who might be able to help me
“For the last time, I’ve told you to stop calling me—Oh!”
My blood ran cold.
Dual-tone voice. Black chitin. Celestia’s height.
A Changeling I recognized in images I’ve been shown both in Discord’s vision and Shining Armor’s descriptions.
The one who caused this mess: Chrysalis.
A haze of rage suddenly washed over me. With a roar I soared through the air, hoof raised to strike her down.
I nearly made contact when Discord grabbed my fetlock.
The world spun around, then my back slammed into the ground with enough force to rattle the house.
I heard Discord yelling at me, but whatever he said fell on deaf ears as I broke his grasp and rolled onto my hooves, preparing to attack again.
Wait a second…!
Chrysalis was completely unfazed by my surprise attack. Discord, on the other hoof, looked livid, his serpentine body coiled around Chrysalis’ frame.
Discord’s protecting Chrysalis? Why?!
I was reminded of my first meeting with Trojan, when Shining Armor introduced her as my partner for this mission. To see the very objective I came to stop in Discord’s home boggled my mind.
Then it hit me.
“Oh no…” I shook my head furiously. “No, no, no! You have got to be kidding me!”
“Intriguing,” Chrysalis eyed me curiously. “Malice must be rooted very deep for the corruption to be this clear. You fished up quite the surprise, Discord.”
“I’m starting to regret that decision a bit, honestly…” Discord muttered.
Sheer shock battled against fury. I resorted to glaring at the source of my troubles rather than try my luck again. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be in this mess! My comrades would still be—
There you are…
I locked up, eyes wide and breathless. I only heard the voice once, but to have it inside my head filled me with even more dread than Chrysalis.
It took some, well, ‘soul’ searching, but I finally tracked you down. I don’t know what Discord is trying to pull, but you and I both know he cannot be trusted. Malice’s voice dripped with barely restrained hatred.
“Get out of my head!” I screamed, clutching my skull.
Discord raised his claw to snap his finger, but Chrysalis stopped the notion with her hoof, observing me with great focus.
I know all about Discord, he continued, ignoring me. Recall how he betrayed you all when Tirek nearly destroyed Equestria. How he attempted to take all of Equestria for himself twice before. Destroy him. You have the power to do so, and believe me, I will ensure you have the tools to do so.
“No! I won’t do it! Get out!”
The presence faded, but I couldn’t stop shaking. With painstaking effort I regain some semblance of control. All thoughts of attacking Chrysalis gave way to the bigger threat who found his way into my head, literally and figuratively.
Chrysalis and Discord watched on as if I was some unusual experiment going through the notions.
I can’t let Malice back in. No matter how much I hate Chrysalis, Malice is the clear threat at the moment. One step at a time, soldier. Lives are depending on it.
“You heard him, didn’t you?”
I gasped, looking at Chrysalis in shock. Pretty sure I should have looked like a mad stallion, yet there wasn’t an ounce of judgment in her gaze. It was as if she expected my encounter with Malice to happen.
Chrysalis continued. “You’re going to have to keep a lid on those emotions until we can find a way to separate the pathos from you. Otherwise, you’ll play right into Malice’s claws and be lost forever. Hate me or not, neither of us want Malice here or in our heads.”
She’s right. I have to keep my emotions under control. But still…
I shook the surprise out of my head and reminded myself of who I was talking to right now. “Alright, what the buck is going on here?”
“Sounds like a perfect time for introductions!” Discord said cheerfully. “Chryssy, this is Flash Sentry. Flash, meet Chryssy. This is the one I told you about who I reached out to after getting stuck.”
“Why don’t we take a seat? I’m sure we both have a lot of questions each other, don’t you agree, Flash?”
This… is so weird.
I merely nodded before taking my seat at the table, making sure to stay as far from Chrysalis as I could manage. Discord pulled the chair for Chrysalis, then snapped his own chair out of nowhere to take a seat next to her. Chrysalis’s expression remained professionally stoic, contrast with Discord relaxed as he leaned against Chrysalis’s frame.
So Celestia-damned weird.
“Since you’re still a little on edge, I’ll let you get your questions out of your system first,” Chrysalis offered.
The level of calm the queen of Changelings held unsettled me. Stories of Chrysalis painted her as a tyrannical and cruel monster. For years I imagined a deranged fiend capable of only hate and conquest. The Chrysalis in front of me was an unreadable wall of calm and wisdom. Regardless of the strangeness of the situation, I realized this was probably the only chance I was going to have at getting answers.
The answers to all the mysteries surrounding this mission was right in front of me.
“Alright. Let’s start with the basics; what the hay is up with you and Malice?”
Chrysalis sighed. “Things were great between us at the start. Malice’s unusual ways of handling magic evolved my Changelings. We were stronger, faster, more capable than ever. Combined with his help, we took over and managed to thrive in the north at the edge of Yakyakistan.”
“You took over the entire north?” I gaped.
“To be fair, there isn’t much up there in the first place. Small tribes and growing empires hidden from the rest of the world. They were powerless against the might of the swarm.” Chrysalis’ gaze drifted to the window, a far away look in her eye. “Malice is a strange one. As much as he went on about the power of rage and being a warrior, he was far more complex than I expected. Had a bit of a barbaric charm, going on about honor and code.”
Discord leaned towards me, pretending to whisper. “Chryssy has a weakness for bad boys.”
Chrysalis swatted the back of his head, shooting him an irritated look as he leaned back and smirked coyly. “Anyway,” Chrysalis continued. “He started acting odd over time. More demanding. Possessive. Had the gall to start saying “our” Changelings. Even more unnerving, he was always tight-lipped about his capabilities, down to his true name, preferring we called him the Cold One. It was only thanks to Discord I managed to learn his name and understand a portion of his power. If I had to guess his reasoning, I think he was paranoid about Discord figuring out he was freed. He was utterly obsessed with getting stronger and being prepared to kill Discord.”
“Annoying brothers, am I right?” Discord shrugged.
“Only child. Wouldn’t know about siblings.”
A brief mental image of Spike and Trojan appeared in my mind.
I shook the thoughts away. No time for distractions. Stay focused!
“I imagine all of this came to a head at a certain point?” I guessed.
“Five years ago, I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. And yes, that’s including attacking Canterlot,” Chrysalis smiled wryly. “I confronted him about his behavior. Word of advice; if you’re ever dealing with an avatar of war and hatred, never expect an argument about poor behavior to go over easy.”
“I’ve only met him once, and I can already tell he’s not exactly the cooperative type,” I agreed.
Chrysalis nodded. “He started going on about how they were his Changelings as much as mine. How he gave us a chance to live. To fight. How much we owe our lives to him. How I owed my life to him. He may be a spirit of war, but I still had a leg up on him in regards to diplomacy and manipulation.”
“Sounds like it went as well as it did in Canterlot,” I seethed.
A chuckle slipped out of Discord's throat, earning a glare from Chrysalis.
“That’s besides the point. I’d almost succeeded in stroking his ego enough to calm down until we were interrupted by my daughters.”
I tilted my head. “Aren’t all of your Changelings your children?”
“Yes and no. In spirit, they are all my children and belong to me. However, Changeling family chemistry works a bit differently than a pony’s. For one, we don’t need a mate to create eggs. Unfertilized eggs breed males, which make up majority of our population. Females, however, are special and do require fertilization, though not in the way you might think.”
“Such a shame. Not nearly as fun,” Discord huffed.
“Ahem,” Chrysalis cleared her throat. I could swear I saw the faintest hint of embarrassment in her as she shifted uncomfortably. “In a nutshell, my daughters have other daughters and expand from there. My immediate family of daughters, however, are special. That’s all you need to know for now.”
Special daughters, huh?
I thought about bringing up the hidden caste Thorax talked about, then thought against it. Considering how I wasn’t supposed to know that, I did not feel like testing Chrysalis’ patience on her secrets being exposed. “Fair enough. So, your daughters were listening in on the mess…”
“And like undisciplined fools, they rushed in thinking I was about to get hurt and attacked Malice. When Malice thwarted their attempt and was about to punish them, I had a choice to make; side with Malice, or protect my daughters. Unfortunately, I made the unwise decision to protect them.”
Rarely have I heard a sentence as mind boggling as her last statement. “Am I hearing right, or did you just say that acting to protect your own daughters from an abusive asshole was a bad idea?”
“Don’t confuse a noble act for a smart one,” Chrysalis reasoned calmly. “They can take a hit or two; he wouldn’t have killed or maim them. It would’ve made negotiations go far smoother. But I acted out of instinct to protect them, realizing too late I crossed a line I wouldn’t be able to come back from. He looked utterly betrayed and hurt by this.”
“Is he that much of a selfish prick to get upset at not wanting to see your own daughters get hurt?!”
“To be honest, I think there was more to it. Like… he was reminded of something that triggered the sudden burst of anger and sense of betrayal. He got furious, believing that I was going to break his trust. He ended up possessing me, separating my mind from my body. For five years, all I could do was see the visions he allowed me to see as he took my Changelings and asserted his dominance, turning those not willing to side with him into slaves or execution targets to keep the others in line.”
Had I blinked, I would’ve missed the pain and anger that flashed behind her eyes. Part of the chitin of her face faded white for a moment before returning to its black shade. This certainly matches what Trojan told me, although this is still pretty brutal, even for a tyrant like her.
I refuse to feel pity for her, but I get it.
“So if I got this right, mommy and daddy had a fight, the foals intervened, and this devolved into foalnapping your mind and putting your Changelings into slave labor?”
“Not an elegant metaphor, but yes.”
I shook my head in disgust. “Did you two ever consider marriage counseling?”
Chrysalis chuckled with mirth. “It doesn’t take a genius to guess no marriage counselor in the world would be able to handle that mess of a spirit.” Her humored laugh died as a dark look overcame her features. “I’ve had a lot of thinking to do in those five years of captivity, and learned more about the deep-rooted thoughts of my hive than I would have ever imagined. As you can imagine, I ruled with an iron hoof, and all obeyed my command without a second thought. However, Malice’s ability to dig deep into your emotions and unearth anything you’ve ever tried to hide brought up facts that… unnerved me.”
Discord frowned, rubbing Chrysalis’s shoulder. If I didn’t hold so much hatred for the queen, the despair on her face would’ve shaken me. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Discord said.
“No, it’s fine. It’s good to get this off my chest, actually.” Chrysalis smiled at Discord for a moment, then redirected her attention to me. “Many of my Changelings were not as agreeable to my rule as I believed them to be. They’d found ways to hide their true feelings from me. Feelings Malice was more than happy to share with me when I was helpless to do anything about it. A disturbing number felt I would run our hive into the ground and get us killed. More and more began to turn to Malice, some seeing a positive change for our species, others out of fear and survival instinct. He often tormented me, using my pain to galvanize some of my Changelings into action.”
My body tensed from the heat swirling in my chest. What a bastard…!
“He didn’t kill the resistant ones outright, allowing them to live as long as they didn’t get in his way and followed his commands to the letter. Those that chose to follow Malice were blessed with his… gifts. This, sadly, includes my daughters.”
A nervous pit fell in my stomach. “The same daughters who tried to defend you?”
Chrysalis nodded, looking outright depressed. “My hive is govern by four pillars; referred to as my Shadows. For comparison sake, think of them as generals.”
“Shadows? That’s an ominous thing to call your own daughters.”
“Princess. Matriarch. Fitting, but they don’t embrace the true quality of soon-to-be queens of the swarm. Princesses are meant to be adored and revered. These Changelings are the strongest extensions of my power, a shadow that stretches as far as my reign. The shadows are both our safest refuge and greatest weapon. What better titles to give to daughters who are the very embodiment of my will? An extension of myself?”
A queen and her Shadows. I admit, it does sound far more fearsome than Princess.
“Edgy queen is edgy,” Discord quipped, earning an elbow jab to the ribs from the irritated queen.
“Back to the topic at hoof, when the division reached them and Malice dug into the deepest crevice of their hearts, I’ve found things… I wish I didn’t see. Two of my daughters, Guile Mind and Strong Body, harbored ill feelings towards me for a long time. The first pair to fall into Malice’s sway. My eldest one, Brave Soul, was completely divided. Her devotion towards me is stalwart, but ultimately was conflicted. Slowly but surely she began to drift more and more to Malice’s warrior mindset of undying loyalty and staying true to the warrior’s code. Which brings me to my youngest, Noble Heart.”
Chrysalis closed her eyes. A tear fell.
“Despite everything thrown at her, no matter how deep Malice dug to find something to use against me, Noble Heart’s loyalty to me was immaculate. Her youth and headstrong nature prevented her from becoming as jaded as her sisters, but her lack of experience made her voice weaker than the rest. She was constantly a thorn in Malice’s side, earning her unyielding loyalty with a good portion of her portion of the hive.”
“Sounds like she lived true to her name,” I said, unable to help the pride I felt for Noble. I may not be able to bring myself to like Changelings, but this Noble Heart sounded like the kind of Changeling I wouldn’t mind meeting, if only for her unwavering faith.
“Indeed. I… miss her.”
The proverbial rug was pulled from under me, tearing my heart in two. An awkward silence washed over us.
“I wonder if...no, it couldn’t be,” Discord mused quietly to himself. He threw a concerned look at the downtrodden Chrysalis. “A-anywho, it’s not like you’ve been doing nothing but twiddling your hooves the entire time, right?” Discord offered, a nervous smile.
A look was exchanged between them. Chrysalis smiled weakly. “Indeed.”
Am I imagining things here? What is up with those two?
No, it’s not important right now. Discord did bring up something interesting. “Been planning a jailbreak?”
“Of course,” Chrysalis grew serious. “Unfortunately, there was not a lot of opportunity for me to act against him while in captivity. He seems to have eyes everywhere at once, multitasking even better than I have thanks to his vassals.”
“Vassals?” I asked.
“Windigos,” Discord answered.
Chrysalis continued. “Indeed. Things began to take an interesting turn when Malice decided it was time for him to have his resurgence to regain his lost power. So he made his way to Everfree Forest—”
“And you know the rest from there, thanks to my award-winning film!” Discord interjected proudly.
Chrysalis held a hoof to her head, annoyed. “Did you seriously show him the ‘Shameless Exposition’ movie?”
“It beats boring old dialog.”
“Well, that does paint a pretty clear picture of what went down until now,” I said. Though I don’t know what he plans to do with the Tree of Harmony.”
“You got me there. I’ve tried to mess with the thing, and it’s a pain in the butt to deal with.” Discord shrugged. “If you ask me, it would probably be faster if he just collected the seven dragon balls to make a wish.”
I threw a disgusted look at Discord. “E-excuse?”
“Come on, you gotta know this. Dragon balls? Summon a magical dragon?”
“Uh...what?”
“Context,” Chrysalis interrupted. “You need context for these jokes, Discord.”
Discord looked confused for a moment, then beamed. “Oh, right! Well, you see—”
“No one cares,” Chrysalis harshly shut him down.
“Alright, moving on from… whatever the hay that was, what can you tell me about Malice? Abilities? Weaknesses? Anyway to fight back.”
“A lot of it is theory, as its too dangerous to attempt practical implementation of these ideas. But before we go into any further, how versed are you in magic theory? Some of this could easily go over your head if you don’t understand it.”
“I learned enough about it from basic to get the idea. Just don’t get too technical with it. I’m no genius when it comes to this kind of stuff.”
Chrysalis nodded. “Getting the obvious out of the way, spirits such as Discord and Malice don’t use magic the same way any other living being does. When we use magic, we follow the A.C.E. method. How each of those steps function varies species to species.”
“Attunement. Capacity. Efficiency.,” I quoted. “We pull in the energy from the world around us, channel it, then release it. Our bodies can hold magic, but it’s our hearts that allow us to process and release that energy.”
“Textbook answer,” she said. “However, this is where spirits differ. While you and I have to pull in magic, convert the energy into something useable, and then utilize the energy, spirits can freely interact with the magic around it without following usual channeling methods.”
“In other words,” Discord started, “the world is a giant batch of cookie dough, and I’m the baker. All you can do is eat my cookies and sh—”
“—shut up and let me finish.” Chrysalis cut in, glaring daggers at Discord. “Point is, the most important part of how a spirit uses the magic is the way they do it. Whether unleashing a burst of energy or creating a vassal, it’s less that Malice is warping the world around him, and moreso imparting his very being into it to take control. The vassals, pathos, it’s not just him using magic; it’s all Malice.”
“So… the windigo I faced wasn’t just some powerful form of magic. It’s a literal part of Malice?”
“That’s where Malley and I have different methods,” said Discord. “Doing that kind of thing spreads yourself thin. If something happens to that part of you that gets far away, you lose it forever. I prefer keeping all of my magic as close to me as possible, while Malice prefers to spread himself out like a hooker during Hearts and Hooves day.”
I facehoofed, but couldn’t resist chuckling.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes, pointedly ignoring Discord. “Something I was able to test with Discord is that a certain amount of themselves needs to be imparted before it can be given a form of intelligence. The more powerful something is, the more alive and a higher level of intelligence it can possess. Spirits are essentially living magic that can impart a portion of their persona into something. With enough magic, they can infuse a carbon copy of their own memories and personas into anything, magical or otherwise.”
I thought about the Malice I met in my dream. Didn’t seem too different from the one in Discord’s vision. Just how much of Malice is inside me?
“Discord,” I began, feeling uneasy, “from what you saw before you took me from Malice, how much of his actual self would you say is in me?”
“A ton. Wouldn’t be surprised if he threw a copy of himself into you. He’s like the arms dealer of magic; gives a bunch of ponies and Changelings his magic, then collects that magic later once its matured and ‘beared fruit’. How to separate that, well… I haven’t figured that out yet.”
“It’s quite a problem,” Chrysalis said. “Even I haven’t been able to separate myself from him. He’s never revealed just what exactly he does when he corrupts someone’s magic. He calls it ‘championing’, where he converts the way you use magic. In laymare’s terms, he makes you use his magic, which is fueled by desire and aggression.”
His magic… I thought back to the fight against Pinkie Pie. When the pathos corruption got out of control in her, she did some crazy stuff. Stuff she honestly shouldn’t have been able to do in the first place. All because of her desire to protect Cup Cake.
Actually, back in the forest, the surge of strength I felt surfaced when I tried to protect Zecora and Wind—no, Spike. Have we just been nothing but fuel for Malice all this time? Profiting from our anger and desire to accomplish something?
Thinking about it, Chrysalis had to deal with this for years, all the while being tortured and likely isolated.
“How did you do it?” I asked.
Chrysalis threw me a curious look. “Pardon?”
“How are you still sane after being his prisoner for so long? To resist his magic the way you do?”
The shift of mood was instant. Discord started grinning ear to ear while Chrysalis rolled her eyes.
“I didn’t come out as unscathed as you may think. I was… in a really bad place for quite awhile. Meditation kept me from madness, and Malice was very careful in not breaking me completely. My hatred for him acts as an unbreakable tether that bounds me to him. I did lose hope for a long time. That is, until Discord rescued me.” Chrysalis’ tone dipped in volume at the last statement.
“I didn’t exactly have a blast of a time either while stuck in the tree,” Discord started. “I’m the lord of chaos. I need stimuli! Excitement! Being stuck for weeks on end with nopony to talk to or interact with started to drain me. On a whim I fished around and used my magic to try to find someone. Anyone. That’s when I sensed Chrysalis and managed to get her here. And, well, one thing led to another… we had a couple of drinks…”
Discord slithered and coiled around Chrysalis, snuggling his cheek against her. “Then we totally—”
“It’s a temporary arrangement,” Chrysalis added quickly. “We both need something from each other. It just so happens a more...intimate approach works out quite profitably for both of us.”
Discord and Chrysalis. Never in my wildest nightmares would I have ever guessed this could exist.
I slumped on the table, facehoofing.
Damn I need a drink.
“Of course, sexy benefits aside, Chrissy helped me learn more about my magic than I ever would’ve managed alone. Even managed to get Chrissy to send for help under Malice’s nose.”
Send help?
I slowly turned to look at Chrysalis. “Come again?”
Chrysalis sighed. “Slowly we’ve been finding ways to manipulate magic signatures and leylines. That is, magic pathways that connect to and are specific to the caster. So far, we’ve figured how to use Discord’s signature as a spirit to slip through Malice’s signature. Essentially, smuggling Discord through Malice.”
“Now that’s a mental image I don’t need,” Discord stuck out his tongue in utter disgust.
“Better than imagining you two in an intimate relationship,” I muttered.
“I have pictures~...”
“Enough!” Chrysalis barked. “What’s important here is thanks to Discord, I was able to reach my daughter Noble Heart to send her for help. The problem is the method isn’t perfect. We can only infiltrate for a short period of time, and he becomes aware of our presence the moment we act. I could only send a small, vague message to her—”
“Find Twilight Sparkle…!”
Chrysalis perked up. “Wait. How did you know that?”
Wait a freaking minute. Don’t tell me…!
“Chrysalis!” I slammed my hooves on the table and shot out my chair. “Were there any other Changelings you tried to reach out to?”
“Can’t say I have. Why do you ask?”
Discord’s eyes slowly widened, drawing the same conclusion I did. “Say Flash. This Trojan character you spoke of. Are you saying—”
It all adds up! I figured it out!
“Chrysalis, I’ve met Noble Heart! She’s still alive!”
For the first time since our meeting, Chrysalis’ emotions were on full display, somewhere between disbelief and hopeful.
“What are you talking about?”
“A Changeling by the name of Trojan came to the Crystal Empire, claiming you had a plan to assassinate Twilight. I was sent in to be Twilight’s guard and secretly confirm and stop the threat. Turns out this Trojan was hiding a lot from us, and it wasn’t until running into the pathos and Thorax that we learned she had been deceiving us. Point is, I’m now convinced this whole time she pretended to believe she was sent to assassinate Twilight when, in actuality, she followed your orders to try and protect her. In other words, the name she gave us was a fake; her real name is Noble Heart!”
Chrysalis worked her jaw to form words, eyes bulging. “But… how can that be? Her link to us was severed. I have no doubt she would’ve tried to get in contact with us at some point. Malice even sent Elytra to Ponyville on the slight suspicion she would’ve made contact with Twilight since he intercepted my message to her. I suspected Shining Armor had found and killed her.”
“Far from it. Noble already knew this, which explains why she was so adamant with me about keeping our mission a secret. I saw the logic, but knowing what you’re telling me now, I think she was really trying to hide from Malice rather than the other Changelings.” My thoughts ran a mile a minute. Layers upon layers of epiphanies struck me. “This whole time I figured she just didn’t want to alert the changelings so they wouldn’t send assassin teams at us. But now I know better; she was trying to hide from Malice and eliminate all possibility of him spying on our activity.”
Chrysalis eyes welled up, my words finally sinking in. Her body trembled, breath coming out in shudders. “My little Noble pulled it off. I… I just… sorry, I need a moment.” Her head dropped into her hooves. Tiny sniffles and hiccups escaped. Discord consoled her in silence. “Thank you, Flash Sentry.”
I shifted uncomfortably, unable to keep my eyes on her. “Um, s-sure.” What is this right now? This is supposed to be the evil tyrant who devours love. One of the most evil and vile creatures in Equestria. She’s not supposed to be this... overjoyed mother thanking me for bringing the good news. It’s not right.
She is the direct cause of the death of my fellow soldiers and waking up Malice.
...So why can’t I bring myself to hate her right now?
Mental flashbacks of my battle against the Changelings surfaced. Carving through them with my spear. Their howls of pain. Cries for mercy before I silenced them. So many dead.
My vision blurred and eyes stung. I hurriedly rubbed my eyes, praying they didn’t notice.
That’s… not fair.
I clenched my eyes shut.
Damn it, that’s not fair at all.
“My apologies, I’m fine now.”
I perked up as if nothing happened, waiting for Chrysalis to continue. The moment I caught Discord raising an eyebrow at me, I smiled nervously.
Chrysalis continued. “This is fantastic news for other reasons too. She’s bound to reach Twilight and get help from the other side. Considering how brilliant Twilight is, there’s no doubt she’ll figure out a solution in no time.”
“That won’t be possible.”
My gaze fell to the table. I couldn’t stop my tears now, voice raw.
“I… I killed her.”
“W-what?!” Chrysalis gasped.
I nodded, unable to meet her eyes. “My memory of the whole thing is fuzzy. I was caught up in a… PTSD flashback. I was back in Canterlot during your invasion, struggling to survive and fighting off Changelings. Twilight had the image of someone I… once cared about and tried to snap me out of it. But I couldn’t see through it. I freaked out thinking she was a Changeling and… c-cut her down. When I finally came to, she…wasn’t moving.” I dared myself to look up.
Chrysalis was speechless, hope drained from her expression. Though Discord already knew the story, being reminded Twilight was no longer with us because of me ignited a spark of anger behind his eyes..
“I should be honest with something else,” I added hesitantly. “Twilight wasn’t the only victim. I’ve killed others inside Everfree Forest who looked like Changelings. I don’t know if that was a hallucination or not, but I… I have a feeling they were actually Changelings. I’m…” My eyes went downcast. “I’m sorry.”
There was a moment of absolute silence. Then, without a word, Chrysalis got out her chair and went upstairs.
I blinked. That had… not been the reaction I had expected?
“She’ll be fine,” Discord said, breaking the awkward tension in the room. “She’ll just need time to digest all of this. The loss of her changelings, and that of Twilight—”
“Why would she even care about Twilight?” I wondered. Her reaction to the death of her children had essentially been weird enough. To think that she’d react in a similar manner to the death of somepony who, in the end, had been her enemy...
“You see,” Discord continued, “Twilight was always a good first pick for problem-solving in situations like this. Chrysalis respected Twily’s intelligence and strength in the face of whatever life threw at her. She also had this belief that Twilight would be the easiest to work with, thinking there was too much bad blood between her and the other princesses. You can say she’d bet everything on Twilight.”
Discord turned away from me, shaking his head. From how quietly he muttered, I was sure I wasn’t supposed to hear what he said next. His tone was riddled with suppressed irritation. “But to think she would be killed by the one guard who was supposed to protect her. These guards can’t do anything right, can they?”
Killed by the one guard who was supposed to protect her...
These guards can’t do anything right...
The words cut deep, echoing endlessly in my head. Defiant rage bubbled in me faster than I could calm it.
“Excuse me?”
Discord whipped around, raising an eyebrow. “What?”
I tried to remind myself to calm down, but I couldn’t stop. “Mind saying that to my face?”
In the blink of an eye, Discord teleported and reappeared lying on the table, his face an inch away from mind. “Tough guy, huh? What, did I touch a nerve over the fact you killed one of my closest friends, who you were supposed to protect?”
“I get it, alright?!” I snapped. “This is situation right now is completely my fault! I screwed up, abandoned my team, and killed someone I cared about! The last thing I need is a bitchy draconequus talking shit without the balls to say it to my face!”
Discord’s eyes narrowed. “Listen, little toy soldier, you’re are incredibly lucky I learned a lot about keeping chill over the years, or I would have you plastered on my wall right now. Or perhaps you’ve already forgotten how I wiped the floor with you Royal Guards all those years ago?”
Every muscle tightened. Teeth gnashed together.
“Things are a little tense as it is, so I would appreciate if you shimmer down like a good colt scout, sit in the corner and stay useless until we’re ready to deal with you, capiche?”
Discord patronizingly patted my cheek.
I cracked his with a left hook.
A burst of black energy detonated from the blow and sent Discord hurtling through the air. His back slammed against the now crumbling wall, left in a stunned daze.
I stared at the violent energy crackling on my hoof, then at Discord, who slowly started getting up. With a grimace I stormed out of the house, distancing myself as far from Discord as possible. I needed space. Time to think and calm down.
What in the world was that?
The encounter played out again in my head over and over during my trot. No doubt Discord deserved the hit. My problem was that I hit him at all.
Outside the Elements of Harmony and Tirek, there’s been no record of anypony being able to land a hoof on him, much less hurt him. I just rocked his world with a single punch, and I have no idea how I even pulled that off.
I looked down at my forehooves. Is this what it’s like to use pathos? What Pinkie went through?
And to think that was only a fraction of my power. Your power.
I snarled, gripping my head. “Get out of my head, you asshole!”
I’m as much a part of you as your wings. Your chance of disposing me is as futile as your ability to control your rage.
“I will find a way to do it. And when I find you, and I’m gonna tear you apart!”
Believe me, I will appreciate and enjoy the effort. However, it would be a shame if Discord destroyed you before you even had a chance to face me in combat. I’d much rather you survived until then. For that, you need me.
“If you think I’m ever going to use your evil powers, think again!”
You saw for yourself the power you possess. The Changelings you carved through like they were nothing. Taking down an alicorn with a single blow. As for Discord, not even your captain, Shining Armor, stood a chance against him alone. Yet you succeeded where many could not in wounding him. When Discord inevitably betrays you all, you may very well be one of the few who can stand against him.
I paused at the thought. Discord did betray us before. It’s been years since then, but… can I really trust he would never do it again? How do we protect ourselves against spirits like Malice and Discord? I really did manage to hurt him. If both Discord and Malice are spirits…
Don’t forget that you’ve used my power to save the lives of your friends. They live, and you live, because of me.
I thought back to Zecora and Spike. What if… I didn’t have that windigo inside me. What would have changed? Would Spike and Zecora still be alive?
Would I still be alive?
I shuddered.
Is Malice… right?
You need more power.
You. Need. Me.
The presence in my mind vanished. Apparently, he was gone. At least for now.
I sat on my haunches and looked up at the twisting void. My eyes fluttered closed.
“It’s amazing, really,” I muttered to myself. “Such a small, foalish mistake allowed all of this to happen. If only I was a stronger soldier. A better pony…”
A tear slid down my cheek.
“You would still be with us, Twilight.”
Something stirred within me. A feeling I hadn’t experienced in a long time.
“You tried so hard to help me overcome my weakness. You believed in me until the very end, even when I didn’t believe in myself. I… I was scared of letting you in. Of showing you how weak I really was. The real me.”
I pictured Twilight sitting in front of me, smiling patiently as she always did during our confidence sessions.
“If you’re watching me, Twilight, I have something I want to show you. The part of me I regret only letting you see once.”
My hoof reached out on its own and grabbed at the air.
A cool, solid material fell into my hooves. I didn’t have to open my eyes to know what it was.
A tiny smile broke out on my muzzle at the first strum of the guitar strings. I played a soft, melancholy tune.
“Allow me to show you the real me. One last time.”
After playing a few notes to feel the rhythm, I began.
♪I have to find a way
To make this all okay
I can't believe this small mistake
Could've caused so much heartache
Oh why~, oh why~?
Losing promise
I don't know what to do
Seeking answers
I fear I won't get through to you♪
A cool breeze swept around us, carrying a gentle flurry of snow. I swayed side to side with the rhythm. Warmth filled my chest.
♪Something is wrong, it's plain to see
This isn't how it's meant to be
And you can't see it like I do
It's not the life that's meant for you
Oh why~, oh why~?
Losing promise
I don't know what to do
Seeking answers
I fear I won't get through to you♪
The wind crescendoed into a gale. Heat spread throughout my body, growing hotter as my volume raised.
♪I'll try~
And I'll try~
I'll try~
And I'll try~♪
As the song reached its end, the wind slowed to a stop. The burning sensation in me shimmered until it disappeared.
♪...for you~♪
The world faded until it was just Twilight and myself.
“Thank you for everything, Twilight Sparkle.”
I opened my eyes.
In place of where I mentally imagined Twilight was an ice sculpture of her sitting on a stool.
I nearly fell backwards. “W...w-what?!”
In my hooves was a perfectly crafted ice guitar. A circular patch of snow surrounded us.
“What the buck?!”
As if reacting to my shock, the sculpture and guitar shattered and melted into the ground along with the snow. It was all gone within a second, as if it had never happened.
I was about to turn around and hurry back to the house, only to be greeted by an equally surprised Discord standing right behind me.
“Gah!” I stumbled back, falling onto my haunches. “W-what did you do just now? What even was that?”
Discord continued to give me a mystified look, slowly shaking his head. “I didn’t do that.”
I blinked. “What do you mean you didn’t do that? I sure as buck don’t think Malice would do that!”
“Exactly as I said. That was all you.”
The words sunk in as slow as quicksand. When it clicked, I jumped in shock. “No! It can't be! I don’t have freaky ice powers that make sculptures out of my own thoughts!”
Discord raised an eyebrow, amused. “So that’s what you were thinking about, huh?”
Whatever I was about to say disappeared the moment his words clicked. “I, uh, I-I mean…”
“Aww, look at you blushing. Aren’t you just precious!” Discord teased.
“T-t-that’s, um...anyway, what are you doing here?”
“Well, I was about to get you back for that sucker punch earlier, but that little Kodak moment will more than make up for it once we figure a way out of this mess. In fact,” Discord stroked his beard, “I think your adorkable singing routine just gave us the clue we need to figure a way out.”
I decided to ignore the adorkable comment in favor of a far more relevant statement. “It did? How?”
“I’ll explain in a bit. Let’s meet up with Chrissy, she needs to know what just happened.” With a snap, Discord disappeared.
I moved towards the house, then stopped to look at the area where the ice sculpture had been.
“What in the world is happening to me?”
Eagerness faded into irritation as Discord and I found ourselves waiting for Chrysalis. She sat in the middle of an dark, empty room save for some incense and candles, meditating. I thought to interrupt, but Discord shook his head.
“She’ll come out of meditation soon enough. It’s best to let her finish clearing her mind of negativity. It’s her way of battling Malice.”
That’s right. She still has to deal with her attachment to him. Guess we’re both in the same boat.
“Chrysalis has been constantly stressed out over this whole thing,” Discord continued. Though he looked in Chrysalis’ direction, his mind was clearly somewhere else. “Look, I know you hate her guts and all, but you gotta imagine what she’s been through so far. Her Changelings, daughters, and everyone she’s ever cared and loved is enslaved by Malice. She’s been powerless to stop him for so long, constantly reflecting on everything she could’ve done differently. It’s been eating at her for so long I… I don’t know how she does it.”
“I get it. I really do, but my life has been turned upside down because of her. I’ll never forgive her for what she’s done. I’m still struggling with the fact you two are a thing. Never would’ve seen it coming.”
“Neither did we. Guess you can look at it as misery loves company,” Discord chuckled wryly. “I know what we have is temporary. Fleeting. I also understand she deserved a lot of what she got; she’s no saint. But I will never forget that feeling of being so alone. I just… I want to do for her what Fluttershy did for me. And if she does something dangerous, I’ll take responsibility. All I ask is that you don’t ruin this for me in return, alright?”
I wonder how long has Discord been feeling like this? Is Chrysalis aware that he even feels this way about her?
For a moment, I reflected on my time with Twilight.
...I’m in no position to argue, am I?
“I’ll try my best,” I answered.
“Also, if you tell her any of this, I’ll drown you in strawberry pudding,” Discord added with a grin.
“Trust me, I have no interest poking my muzzle anywhere near that subject.”
Chrysalis stirred and, after taking a deep breath, muttered a chant.
I am the guile mind. Knowledge is my weapon.
I am the strong body. Health is my core.
I am the brave soul. Courage is my shield.
I am the noble heart. Love is my life.
We are legion. We are victory. We are shadow.
The Noble Heart…
“As you guessed, the name of my daughters,” Chrysalis said. She stood up and stretched. “A reminder that we are all part of the same whole.”
“So a team chant.”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Such an insulting comparison. But enough about that, what brings you to my meditation chamber?”
“Babe, you are not gonna believe what Flash managed to do!” Discord beamed.
“Don't call me babe, and I hope there is an explanation for why there is a bruise on your cheek.” There was a dangerous glint in her eye as she looked at me. “A very good explanation.”
“See for yourself.” Discord snapped his finger. Just like when we first met, a movie screen popped up.
The recording started from the argument where I punched Discord. Discord picked himself up and made his way out the house and towards my direction, a deep snarl on his face. Whatever punishment he had in mind faded from his face when the music reached his ears and he witnessed my performance.
The scenery around me played out exactly as I envisioned. A guitar formed and shaped in my hooves. Ice sculpture Twilight looked so realistic with the way she smiled and made subtle movements, swaying to the music. Snow and wind danced along to the tune of my song.
There was no doubt this was Malice’s magic at play. Yet, only one word came to mind as I witnessed this magical orchestra.
“Beautiful…” I muttered.
Everything stopped the moment I opened my eyes. The scene fell apart as I gaped in shock, fading away like nothing happened.
Speaking of fall apart, Chrysalis slowly turned to look at me, speechless.
“Am I right, or am I right?” Discord beamed at Chrysalis. She merely nodded.
“Mind if I get some context on what just happened?” I asked.
Chrysalis paced back and forth, muttering to herself. Just as my patience for weirdness ran out, Chrysalis looked at me and answered.
“Somehow, you tapped into Malice’s power without rage. To put this in a way you can comprehend, you used magic the same way Discord and Malice did. A way I didn’t think was possible for anyone but a spirit.”
My eyes widened. “Wasn’t… the whole thing with Malice’s magic that anger and desire was necessary to use it?”
“And thus you see why this is amazing. This actually goes perfectly with my theory that Malice’s magic is tied to some core value in your heart. All of our memories, our pain, sorrow, anger, we never truly forget them. Inside our minds they are locked somewhere. The magic can temporarily be destabilized by affecting their memories.”
Memories…
The word triggered a thought that bugged me for the longest time. “When Trojan—er, Noble—helped me deal with Pinkie Pie, who was afflicted with pathos for a time, she used some weird spell called the love love amnesia kiss.”
Chrysalis facehoofed. “Ugh, of course she would call it that. She never was one for properly honoring our most sacred traditions and spells.”
“Anyway,” I continued, “when she used it, the pathos was knocked right out of Pinkie.”
Discord nodded. “Pinkie is eccentric, but not exactly the angry type by nature. Malice needs something to hold onto with his magic. So when the reason for her frustration went poof, so did the pathos’ hold on her.”
The pieces were clicking together in my mind. “So in other words, it’s not so much erasing the memory tied to the emotion, but ‘resetting’ the emotion Malice has his grubby claws on.”
“Your situation is a little special in this case,” said Chrysalis. “For a moment you were perfectly in control of that magic. Not even I had that much control, and I doubt there is anyone who had more time to use his magic than me.”
“True. The ability to shape the environment around you with magic hits pretty close to home,” Discord stroked his beard, humming thoughtfully.
So I’m a special case here? What could be different about my situation that nopony else have gone through? Something that could affect—
”That’s it!” Discord and Chrysalis glanced at me. “My shield must have something to do with it!”
“Your shield?” Chrysalis asked.
“Shining Armor gave me a piece of equipment that was supposed to help fight against mind control. It’s supposed to reject foreign magic signatures from affecting my mind.”
Chrysalis nodded. “Interesting. That… could have some affect. The magic attacks your heart rather than your mind, though it would prevent total mind control.”
“But then… how is he speaking into my mind? The shield should be rejecting Malice’s magic.”
“Maybe it just sucks?” Discord offered.
I shook my head. “This mission involved his sister. He would have triple-checked it to make sure it worked. Weird as this may sound, the only way Malice's magic would be able to affect my mind is if the shield, for some reason, mistaken his magic for my own. But that’s impossible.”
“Why is that?”
“From what I read on it, it is constantly tracking my magic signature. It would only reset itself when the magic it recognized disappeared, or to look at it in another way, have no magic in my body at all to track. I’d have to either be dead or something happened that erased the flow of magic in my body.”
My brow furrowed. “Hmmm… it’s clear that I’m a special case with my connection to Malice and his magic. If only there was some way to neutralize this magic or use it against him. Discord, you’ve messed with a pony’s magic before, right?”
“Of course I have. When it comes to messing with magic, there is no one better than me!”
“Any chance you can analyze me or something? You mentioned before you can infiltrate Malice’s magic signature. Maybe you can infiltrate the version of Malice inside my head to get some answers?”
Discord’s eyes lit up like fireworks. “Why Flash, I do believe you are onto something here.”
“Discord?” Chrysalis inquired.
“Ever since I was but a wee lad, I’ve absolutely loved messing with magic of all kinds. During the time I spent with Malice during our youth, I realized our magic is almost perfectly identical; thus our conclusion that we’re siblings. Sadly, I haven’t really had good access to Malice’s magic to mess with it in a safe-ish environment. But with Flash and his weirdly strong connection, he’s the perfect choice for me to flex my magic-messing muscles.”
“Discord, I’ve told you before I was more than willing to let you experiment on my magic,” Chrysalis reasserted with a hint of annoyance.
“And you’re crazy if you think I’m going to do that on you. You’re asking me to do brain surgery with a mallet. I flunked medical school for a reason, y’know. If I messed up, I…” Discord hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. My eyes bounced between the two.
If I was in Discord's horseshoes, and my only way to experiment with magic I didn’t quite understand and was dangerous would be to put Twilight at risk, would I have the guts to do it? It didn’t take me long to realize why Discord hesitated on answering truthfully.
“I’m the better candidate. No, the only one you got,” I cut in.
“How so?” Chrysalis asked. Discord breathed a sigh of relief.
“You’re the only expert on Malice’s magic we got. If something happens to you, then we’re all screwed. But if you two work together and use me instead, you will have a much better chance at finding the answers you’re looking for at minimal risk.”
“It’s too dangerous,” Chrysalis was quick to deny. “My ability to control my emotions greatly exceeds yours. For this to work, we would need to go into your mind. That means all of your fears, every little secret you would hope to bury, will be uncovered.”
Chrysalis crept towards me, flashing her fangs with a challenging grin. It was all too clear she wanted to intimidate me out of my decision.
“Discord and I will know everything about you and all the secrets you hold. All the while you have to watch your emotions and deal with Malice at the same time. If you mess up and let Malice beat you this time, all of our minds will be forfeit. Are you willing to have both Discord and I in your brain, poking at every single button you have, every dirty, embarrassing secret you have while also fighting off Malice's control of your anger?”
“Yes,” I answered without the slightest hesitation.
They looked at me in shock. Discord was especially confused. “Uh, you did hear the “we” part, right? As in ‘also Chrissy’? Dirty secrets, even your weirdest fetishes, will be laid bare before us. This can include military secrets and stuff that could put everyone else in danger. Aren’t you scared?”
“Of course I am. What pony in their right mind wouldn’t be terrified?” I pointed out. “I’ve let my selfishness and fears go on long enough as it is. Yes, I get that I have a temper. I’ve had it all my life. I’m far from an innocent stallion and have a crap ton of things I regret. But I have also have a long track record of dealing with said problems. The Royal Guard fears nothing, for we are fear incarnate, and I’d rather die fighting than live with the fact I’ve never had the guts to fight.
“So please, both of you, let me do this. I need to do this. For everyone who sacrificed themselves and suffered because of Malice. For Twilight… and myself.”
Chrysalis gave me a leveled look. I met her eyes, unwavering under her judgmental stare. After a minute, she pulled back and gave Discord a nod.
Discord brightened and snapped his fingers. Stuffed suitcases appeared out of nowhere.
“Alright boys and girls! Pack your bags! We’re going on a road trip into Flash’s mind!”