Gotham was dying. The cancer of corruption had metastasized, spreading throughout the city in the form of ever-increasing taxes that strangled businesses and residents alike, taxes that were supposed to fund the city, but, instead, ended up in the pockets of the ruling elite. Protection payments compounded the burden. One particularly necrotic neighborhood, however, had just a bit more life than the casual observer would expect.
In this industrial necropolis of abandoned warehouses and shuttered factories, there was little to distinguish this three-story building from the others in the area. It had once been the source of joy for the young and young at heart. Now, however, age and neglect had transformed the once-smiling clown mascot of the Laugh Factory into a leering demon.
Behind the crumbling facade, the interior was a little better. A few naked lightbulbs cast pools of harsh light, well away from the boarded windows. The factory floor was still lettered with broken machines, worn out parts, and misshapen pieces of toys. The foreman's office, however, had been unceremoniously emptied of everything except for a desk and chair, affording its new occupant a view of the production floor. Despite the mess, many of the bits and pieces left behind had been repurposed, or integrated into infernal devices. The one who had overseen the transformations, such as they were, roared in the cavernous space.
“Harley!” The Joker's voice echoed. “Are you really that stupid?”
His footsteps boomed like gunshots in the still air.
“What were you thinking? I told you to grab a hostage, and you took THAT!”
“But pudding, isn’t she adorable? And she’s smart, too,” Harley said, cradling the little pony in her arms looking at the Joker with puppy-dog eyes.
“Smart, you say?” the Joker asked, leaning down, looking at Tia.
Harley nodded vigorously. “She can talk; she asked me for juice.”
Poking Tia’s nose once with a finger, the Joker smiled. “Then maybe she’s worth something to someone after all.”
“She’s like a huggable supersized Pretty-Pretty Pony doll, Mr. J.”
“And that’s why you took her?” the Joker asked as the raised his arm to reprimand the clown girl.
Flinching and closing her eyes, Harley emphatically shook her head. “Nuh uh, Mr. J. I took her cuz she was the closest, non-sick one around.”
“Well put her in the bird cage then. We don’t want her flying off,” the Joker said as he turned, walking to his desk. As he sat, he grumbled, “We still don’t know who’s stealing my schtick.”
Harley walked down to the factory floor. Beside a worn-out conveyer belt leading to a stamping machine, a large, silvery cage stood. It had been removed from a long-forgotten parade float, and what had been its chassis lay in pieces, awaiting refurbishment.
Carefully, Harley put Tia into the cage, giving her mane one last rub. The clown girl softly said, "I'm sorry, little one." Looking up at the office, Harley shouted, "Don't worry, Mr. J.You'll figure it out."
Tia pronked about the perimeter of the cage, swinging it about. "Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know!"
"Know what?" asked Harley.
"Know who's stealing his schtick."
"Really?"
“It's Eris,” Tia shouted, looking up at the Joker.
Blinking, Harley looked confused for a moment. “Who, you say?”
“Eris, Goddess of Discord and Chaos, she’s the one driving people to madness,” Tia said then making air quotes with her forehooves, “stealing his schtick.”
The Joker looked up from the blueprints that he had spread out on his desk and shouted, "Harley! Leave the hostage alone! Make yourself useful and clean up or do laundry or something!"
“But she knows who’s stealing your act, Mr. J.” Bounding away from the cage, Harley squeaked and laughed. “She said it was some goddess named Eris.”
“Really now? And just why would a goddess want to imitate me?” The Joker said, “I know I’m the best and all, but seriously.”
With a giggle Tia looked up through the bars. “Because Eris is a goddess, ancient like Hades, Zeus, and such, and she gets super bored every once in a while.”
“Oh, who asked you anyway!” the Joker yelled. Grumpily, he rested his chin on his balled fists. “This day just gets better and better.”
Harley leaned to the side, stroking the Joker's cheek. “Oh Mr. J, you don’t look so well. You’re even more pale than usual. It’s all this stress, isn’t it? Maybe you should take a day off, get some sun.”
“Sun? SUN?! Who has time for sun when I’ve got a goddess trying to out-Joker me!”
“Oh, I can help with that!” Tia said, smiling lightly her horn beginning to glow brilliantly.
“What?” The Joker blinked, looking down at the pony and shielding his eyes for a moment. “Wait, what are you . . . STOP!”
Outside the decrepit factory, the brilliant flash of light that bled through every crack and hole in the building briefly turned the dark and stormy night into a bright and stormy day. Inside the building, everyone was blind, except for the little pony who marveled at how all the color that had been in the room had faded to shades of grey.
“Ooh, sparkly,” Harley said, waving a hand in front of her eyes and blinking vigorously as she tried to get her eyesight back.
“Harley,” the Joker said, his voice filled with a terrifying calm.
“Oops, sorry. I guess that was a little too much. Is everyone ok?” Tia asked innocently as she looked around the warehouse.
“Umm, yes, Mr. J?”
“Be a doll and find me some burn cream,” the Joker said, as he remained totally still. He was trying not to move anything, not even his lips. “And some SPF 5000, in case she does that again.”
“Yes Mr. J.”
***
Those standing near the little pegasus in Gotham General would swear that the heater had broken. The fire of Dash's anger burned like a blast furnace. Her tail thrashed as she paced, her wings twitching. Even Diana knew better then to challenge a daughter of the great Pegasus. Those equines were often temperamental and did not give trust easily.
“You DO know where she is, right?” Diana said sternly.
Without looking away from the victims, Batman answered simply and coldly, “Yes. She’s with the Joker.”
“And it doesn’t bother you that that maniac took her?” Diana replied as she examined the Dark Knight.
“She’s safe for now. Harley is fascinated with her, and that should keep her protected in the short term. We need to stay focused on the mission. Power through and ignore distractions.” Standing up, Batman turned, looking at Jason Blood. “You haven’t found a faster or easier way to duplicate the child’s remedy.”
The sound of crumbling mortar and brick caused Jason to flinch, as the diminutive pegasus stood with one hoof firmly in the wall. Her eyes were narrowed, and her ears pointed almost straight back, flat against her head. “Distractions?” Snorting and breathing heavily, Dash looked up at Batman. “She was in no way a distraction!”
“But her kidnapping, horsenapping, is. The mission is and was, to contain the spread of the Jokers gas, treat those infected, and ensure containment of those who were infected by Eris is not breached.” Turning, the Batman looked down at Dash. “Now, when we are ready. we will go and get Celestia back. We will not, however, rush into things and put others at risk.”
Pointing to the sick, Zatanna let out a sigh. “There are only a few guild members who could even begin to counter that kind of magic. Doctor Fate is busy. Constantine might be able to do it, but I have no idea how to contact him. That just leaves me. We need Celestia’s help.”
Turning to face Zatanna, Batman looked at her sternly. “We have contained this situation. Joker antidote is on its way; once you are injected to make sure you don’t break out into a fit, we will go.”
***
Like some ancient spell by Merlin himself, the dark blue mists drifted in from the sea, moving slowly across Gotham Bay. The mists brought darkness and frost to everything they touched, causing the sea spray to freeze in mid-air. The outer edges of the mists were bracketed in normal fog, cloaking the supernatural presence.
As the mists blanketed a lone fishing trawler, ice quickly formed on its deck and rails. One by one, the lights on deck were encased with ice before the dark tendrils of the mists crushed each one with a soft pop. Feeling around the boat, the mists worked their way inside, slowly sliding down the exhaust stack. Its presence choked out the engine, bringing an eerie silence to the craft.
The crew scrambled to restart the engine as the emergency lights came on. The lights gradually faded to black as the mists drifted across the batteries and the emergency generator. Without electricity, the ship's radio was rendered useless.
The mists turned their attention to the crew, putting them to sleep with a touch. It was the sleep of the damned, filled with nightmares of slow and terrifying deaths. No two nightmares were the same; whatever the victim feared the most was brought to the fore.
Slowly, the mists continued on their journey, homing in on their objective. They drew ever closer to the city, toward the sleeping inhabitants of Gotham, toward the docks and the waterfront.
In the former toy factory, a little pony stood on her hind legs and attempted to hop with them crossed. “Excuse me, Mrs. Quinn?”
Harley blinked and looked down at the little caged pony. “Whatcha need, cuddles?”
“Umm, is there a little ponies room? After all that apple juice I kinda have to use it,” Tia said as she blushed, softly swinging her cage back and forth with her hopping.
Harley blinked as she looked around the old factory. The decaying wood and rusting metal belied the fact that some things in the building had been restored to allow habitation. “The bathroom is over there, but . . .”
“Thank you, be right back,” Tia said as she lit her horn, vanishing from the cage in a flash of light.
Swinging her head around quickly, Harley heard the bathroom door close. “Wait, but . . . Mr. J . . .”
“What about Mr. J?” the dark voice came, followed by soft laughter. His footsteps echoed softly as he walked into his office.
“Umm, nothin' puddin'?” Harley trembled as she put her hands behind her back and rocked on the balls of her feet.
Standing up, the Joker's eyes caught the empty cage and slowly drifted back to Harley. “Harley, darling, where is our hostage?”
“She . . . she . . . she . . . had to go to the bathroom.” Stammering and stuttering, Harley took a step back and gulped heavily.
“And you just LET her?” the Joker asked, raising his voice before starting to roll up his sleeves. “Have you forgotten everything I’ve taught you?”
“But Mr. J, she had to go, and . . . you know, when you have to go, you have to go,” Harley said. She trembled as she closed her eyes tight. Joker grabbed her by the front of her costume, pulling her dangerously close.
Closing the door behind her, Tia trotted onto the factory floor before lighting her horn and appearing back in the cage with a flash giggling, “Thank you, Miss Harley.”
Looking down at the cage, the Joker tossed Harley aside carelessly and put both his hands on the banister as he leaned forward. “You can teleport!?”
“Uh huh,” Tia said nodding. “It’s not that hard.”
Watching the foal swing the cage back and forth, the Joker shook his head. “Then, why are you even here?”
Tilting her head to the side and closing her eyes, Tia smiled brightly, “Cuz Miss Harley asked nicely and gave me juice boxes.”
Slapping his hand over his face, the Joker groaned before looking at Harley. “And this is why I never work with kids or animals.”
“Umm, Mr. J?” Harley spoke softly, her voice trembling.
Turning the Joker snarled, “Harley, now is not the time to talk to me.”
The Jokers voice carried the promise of death as he narrowed his eyes. A moment later, he blinked as he saw the fog from his breath. Blowing out again, he watched the cloud slowly rise. “Harley, did you forget to pay the heating bill again?”
Without a word, Harley pointed quickly towards the front door. It was covered with frost, and blue mist slowly seeped under it, as well as through every crack and hole in the walls and the boarded windows.
Looking around quickly, the Joker saw the mists flowing ever closer from all directions, coming in through every opening in the walls, no matter how small. Every light bulb they touched froze over and then popped at they were crushed by the mists.
“Oh, come on Bats, fog like this? It's so last season. How many times have I done dark fogs?” the Joker called out angerly.
“Batman? Oh, how cute,” the soft woman's voice taunted. “This knave thinks it's all about him.”
“Of course it's all about me; I am the Joker!”
A tendril of fog drifted up to the Jokers leg, in response the clown prince pulled a long-barreled revolver from his jacket. The flag marked with "BANG!" that popped out was meant for laughs. The heavy slugs that followed were not. They traveled only a few inches into the fog before they stopped, frozen over, and fell to the floor. The mists grabbed the pair of miscreants and set them onto the factory floor.
“A gun? Really? Thou art truly the jester. We assume thou art the type to try to shoot Superman as well.” Soft feminine laughter filled the warehouse as if coming from the fog itself.
Harley hid behind the Joker. She grabbed him around the waist and peered out timidly. Shivering, she said, “What’s going on Mr. J?”
Lighting her horn, Tia held back the gloom. The entire factory was carpeted by the blue mist. The youngster stamped a forehoof, rocking the cage. She said, "Leave them alone."
The mist took shape, forming into a ring that reached to the tip of Tia's horn. As the mists circulated around the cage, the voice asked, “Caged already? Hast they already tamed thee little one? Are thou already broken?”
“Who . . . who are you?” Tia asked nervously.
“Who are we? We are the daughter of Nyx. We are the embodiment of darkness and night given form. We are thine worst dreams come true. We are the Nightmare of the Moon!” Coalescing, the mists took the form of the great midnight blue mare with large, feathered wings and a wickedly sharp, long unicorn's horn. She stood almost as tall as the Joker. Her laugh triggered primal fear, bordering on panic.
"There're two of them?!" Joker spun around and glared at Harley. "This is all your fault!"
Tia reached a forehoof through the cage and fumbled with the latch. Clumsily, she tumbled out as the door sprang open. She faced the Nightmare, staring in wide-eyed wonder as she slowly circled the mare.
Giggling Tia smiled, “You’re really pretty. I love your mane and tail; the whole star effect is really nice.”
Stepping back, the mare looked at her flowing mane and then back at the ordinary one that Tia sported. Nightmare's slitted eyes narrowed. “Thou art trying to distract me! Thou shall be tamed!”
Rearing up, the Nightmare towered over Tia. A wickedly sharp scythe formed from the dark magic that flowed from the dark alicorn's horn. With an "eep!" the smaller alicorn lit her horn as the scythe came slashing toward her. There was a blinding flash as the weapon struck her shield. The sounds of heavy machinery crashing to the floor could be heard as ricocheting scythe left a trail of destruction in its wake.
When everyone could see again, the tiny alicorn was gone. In her place was a majestic white mare, somewhat taller than her dark counterpart. Her face showed every bit of determination the Nightmare had displayed.
"Oops! Time to go!" The Joker shoved Harley to the floor. "Out of my way!"
It was Nightmare's turn to circle around Celestia. "So, thou doest know some paltry tricks. Wherefore doeth thou hide behind that disgusting, small form?" The dark mare spat out "small" like an expletive.
“Cuz I like it. It's relaxing. It's fun. It doesn't scare people."
Backwinging into the air, the Nightmare shouted, "Thou wilt know fear!" Another bolt of dark energy flew from her horn. Ignoring the attack, Celestia rocketed into the air. The bolt dug a trench in front of Harley just as a golden lance of energy from Celestia's horn caught the Nightmare between the wings, slamming her onto the floor.
“Mr. J! Wait for me!” Harley cried out. She stumbled backward and covered her head as another blast tore through the floor in front of her. "Mr. J! Help!"
Looking over his shoulder, Joker shouted, “You brought 'em here Harley! Get yourself out!” He tore open the back door and ran headlong into the Batman. "Oh, Bats! Good to see you! I warmed them up for you; they're all yours!"
Narrowing his eyes, the Batman looked down at the Joker. The Dark Knight ducked quickly as a beam of black energy cut through the building just above his head.
“They're going to bring the house down! I'd normally stick around for a good act, but I'm outta here!" The Joker scampered out on all fours and rolled down the stairs, into the alleyway.
“HELP!” Harley screamed. Pieces of the roof and ceiling rained down all around her.
Instinctively, she looked up as she heard an eerie groan. With a loud snap, an I-beam joist broke free and came tumbling down toward her. Suddenly, she was covered by warm, fluffy darkness.
Celestia slid sideways to shield Harley with her body as the alicorn sliced the beam in two with a golden blast from her horn. The pieces bounced off the hastily-erected shield that covered the alicorn and embedded themselves into the factory floor at awkward angles. Looking at the Nightmare she narrowed her eyes, “You would have killed her. Leave her out of this. If it's me you want, fight me.”
“Thou would'st protect this worm?” The Nightmare stamped a forehoof. Purple lightning bolts coursed up and down her leg as the building shook with the force of the blow. “Why? What is it to thee?”
“She was nice, polite, and gave me juice,” Celestia said. “I don’t want to have to fight you. We’re both ponies; we shouldn’t have to fight.”
“We are goddesses!” the Nightmare said as she lit her horn.
Celestia steeled herself for another attack, only to find that the Nightmare had snared a pair of bat-shaped projectiles mid-air with her magic. The Nightmare cocked her head, and the bluish aura surrounding the batarangs glowed brightly as the weapons were crushed down to spheres the size of golf balls. Their payload detonated with a soft hiss, crackle, and pop as the aura easily contained the force.
Narrowing his eyes, the Batman looked at the Nightmare, sizing her up, scanning, and analyzing her.
“You're Kidding? You are kidding, right? Thou art even more the fool than the purple buffoon.” With an annoyed flick of her tail, the Nightmare send out a lance of energy, cutting through the shadows. The Batman was forced to leap into the open to dodge the attack. “We are daughter of the Goddess of Darkness and Night. None are hidden from me in mine domain.”
Standing up Batman narrowed his eyes. “What do you want?”
“Her, serving chaos,” the Nightmare stated before looking at the Dark Knight analytically, “Though a bat man as a personal guard might serve me well, bat men, or, perhaps, bat ponies, mine soldiers of the night.”
“Don’t even bother trying, trust me. He doesn’t even want to be friends with me,” Celestia said with a sigh. “No sense of humor or fun.”
Blinking, the Nightmare looked back at the Batman. “Pity, his existence could hast had some meaning, serving me.”
Lighting her horn, Celestia gently lifted Harley, floating her over to Batman. “The guy doesn’t even trust me to do magic. He goes and gets others to make sure I can do it right.”
“And yet you trust him?” The Nightmare shot a glance at Batman as he picked up Harley.
Wrapping her arms around the Batman’s neck Harley groaned, “My hero.”
“I trust him to do what’s right,” Celestia said, taking a step forward.
“We are gods! None dare tell us what is right or wrong!” Slashing with her horn, the Nightmare fired off another blast that skittered across Celestia’s shield before shooting up into the roof.
Looking up, Celestia gave an "eep!" as she dove at the Nightmare and tackled her out of the way. A massive I-beam crashed down where the dark alicorn had been standing a moment earlier. Helping the smaller alicorn to her hooves, Celestia sighed. "We're ponies. We could be sisters."
Looking at the debris and then at Celestia, the Nightmare opened her mouth as if to speak but couldn’t find the words. Turning her head away, she reverted to mist form and wisped up through the hole in the roof.
Reviewing the remnants of her lunch on the Batman's cape, Harley whimpered, “I think I need a vacation.”