Album 1: The Greatest Gala Ever
Chapter 12: Harmony of Destruction
“Um, I hate to interrupt but..." When we heard Twilight's voice, we turned to look at the Mane six (or however you wanna call them) to see them all wearing their necklaces.
"We have a problem."
"What's the issue?” Griffin demanded. “You got the elements, and the problem is gone. Everything is good, right? Well, except the floor and wall."
I started chuckling, but stopped at Twilight's comment. "That phrase never portends an easily solved problem..." I'm suddenly scared shitless. "Agent Pie! Sitrep, now!"
“The Black Vault is shredded and over half of the Articles are GONE!" Pinkie reported. She zoomed up, then stopped on the spot, wobbling from the momentum like a jumped-off diving board. “We were able to retrieve the elements of harmony because the door to the Black Vault, which is normally closed and only one of the princesses can open it, was destroyed."
Aoi looked at me with concern.
"Wait, AGENT Pie?” Griffin asked incredulously. “You mean........" Griffin gasped comically, "I knew it! Pinkie Pie IS a spy!" Aoi snickered at Griffin's remark.
I sighed, and said, "Not a spy. She's an Agent, working for Celestia...like me.” I stopped chuckling at the joke, "But seriously, what the hell happened?"
"Wait, that means you two are spies too?” Griffin inquired. “Ha. Haha. Ha. I'm surrounded by spies.”
"Ex-, to be exact..." Aoi corrected.
“If anyone makes a 'That changeling is a spy!' joke, I'm gonna go Pyro on yo' ass!” To add emphasis to this promise, I turned into TF2's Pyro, with his/her/its unlit flamethrower hoisted high into the air.
After seeing that the weapon was unlit, I facepalmed. When I spoke, my voice was muffled to the point of inaudibility. “...Fuck, forgot that only mech forms have 'powers'....this damn flamethrower's useless...”
"While Luna and the dragon were fighting, they slammed into the vault door, and broke it off." Twilight said.
"For a vault, it's not that secure..." Aoi commented.
"Also, That Pyro's A SPAH!" Griffin added.
SHIT THE VAULT! I started twitching...and SPRINTED out of the ballroom fast enough to leave a trail of green flames to survey the 'broken door'. “Eep!” After seeing the door, the words to describe it weren’t 'broken off’... instead, the three foot thick magically enhanced Magicite-steel door was COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY SHREDDED! Many of the pedestals for articles were now, shockingly, empty...including one for a shard of Nightmare Moon's armor entitled 'The Pick of Destiny'. "Oh you HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING WITH ME!" I shouted, audible from clear across the city of Canterlot.
"Did you hear that?" Aoi asked.
Griffin pulled a stray feather out of his ear. "I see nothing, I hear nothing, I KNOW nothing." He replied in the voice of the guard from Hogan's Heroes. Aoi simply rolled his eyes.
Just then, there were a great multitude of screams, as all the partygoers went zooming through the door and back into the hall. Several ponies picked the doors up and put them back on, while unicorns repaired and barricaded them.
They all looked like they just ran for their lives.
"Gilda, what in the name of Morgan Freeman is going on?" Griffin asked.
"Some stupid troll got into the Canterlot zoo and let all the animals out,” Gilda informed them. “We've got Timberwolves, Manticores, Hierophants, some rocs, and a fucking basilisk out there!"
I zoomed back into the hall. "THE BLACK VAULT IS TORN OPEN AND NIGHTMARE MOON'S ARMOR IS MISSING!"
Griffin roared "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!"
"Well, Griffin, looks like the night's not over yet..." Aoi told him.
"Aoi, you go deal with the animals. I'll have my crew help the moron track down the dark goddess’ armor.”
“Then what the hell are you gonna do?” I demanded from Griffin.
"I'm going to sit here on my ass, take some deep breaths, and try to figure out how to stop the fucking apocalypse," Griffin answered.
Aoi grabbed the hilt of Kokuryu and headed outside to meet the animals of the zoo, signaling to his two Diamond Dogs to go with him. He’s followed closely behind by Queen Chrysalis.
“I refuse to allow this battle to continue without providing aid of my own! Troops, follow the Pirates, until this battle ends, Gilda is your commander!” Immediately over a dozen ponies revealed themselves to be changelings, leaping into the fray and tending to the wounded, and bringing others back to safety.
Griffin’s gang headed off with me to try and find the articles stolen from the vault, all the while scooping up some punch in a cup. "I know it's spiked, but I'll only have one glass, just to take the edge off. Anymore, and if I survive this debacle, Gilda will kill me. Can't go getting drunk when I have the end of the world to deal with. Seriously though, who signs me up for this shit?" Griffin scoffed and chugged.
I twirled a finger around one ear, while pointing to Griffin with the thumb of my other hand.
I hopped over the building barricade. "Aoi, any guesses on who might wanna steal the shattered armor of a demon-goddess?" I was ignored by the warrior wolf, who was far too busy dealing with the raging animals to hear me.
Chrysalis had made it to the top of a nearby spire and was beginning to charge up a number of magic spells. Some rocs noticed and tried to knock her down but suddenly, an electrical shield was visible, frying them and removing them from the sky forcefully.
Immediately, the shield expanded and was sending lightning bolts everywhere. She looked like one of those glass balls where the electricity is drawn towards your hand. Except in reverse and instead of a tingle, ANIMALS ARE BEING MADE INTO CHICKEN!
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Her laugh was spot on for evil villain. She started creating whirlwinds of fire on the other side of the park from where Aoi was fighting. Every so often, a series of simple but powerful magic blasts flew out from her, striking small enemies, like the timberwolves terrorizing ponies.
Going above that, she started to pick up the timberwolf pieces and created a massive wooden golem, who went on to fight some manticores and heirophants. She’s ridiculous, her electric shield is still up and everything! A hundred silvered blades appeared and started cutting through any beast in their path.
To top it off, she shot lasers randomly off into the sky and at whatever other manner of beast she could find. A bright red circle appeared in front of her, slowing gaining a rotation speed and brightening to a more solid red color. All of her magic seemed to speed up and-
“Ready...Aim...FIRAGA!!!!!!” I can’t believe she just said that. Did she just say that?
Yes, she said that.
*Clink clink* No I didn’t...
Shhh, You’re supposed to sound awesome!
...........
..Okay, I’ll shut up.
I need to go back inside before all the awesome going on out here kills me.
As I bolted back into the ballroom, I heard a scream in the distance. Turning on my feet, I spotted Octavia wreathed in a familiar black mist.
"Oh fuckmeintheassthisisBAD!" I began speaking rapidly, panicking at the sight before my eyes: Octavia being possessed by The Nightmare. This is BAD on SO many levels!
As I buzzed my way towards the stage, I saw the resulting 'Creature' emerge from a cocoon of dark magic. She looked, dare I say it, beautiful. The former earth pony was decked out in dark violet armor, and growing FAST from her original guise, a long, sharp horn spiraling out of her forehead and two wide-spreading wings blooming from her barrel.
"Please don't say something cliche, please don't say something cliche, PLEASE don't say something cliche." I repeated to myself...she heard me.
"Too bad, so sad." she whispered to me. How I heard her whispering from across the massive ballroom I'll never know. And to make things worse, yeah...she said something cliche.
"I love this part!" She said, before bringing out the Royal Canterlot Voice, "You can't hope to defeat me, give up now, and lose yourself to my song!" The demon-goddess then began playing a very badass song on her magic-cello with enough raw power behind it that all of the glass within a full mile of the castle is utterly CRUSHED to a fine powder, and those with sensitive hearing are left writhing in PAIN. There's only so much badass many folks can handle, doncha know.
In response, Griffin leaped up, looking a tad tipsy from the quick drink. He's almost as much of a lightweight as me it seems. He cast a series of spells and went COMPLETELY BERSERK on Nightmare Octave. However, it seemed she fed on his hate much like changelings feed on love. Every slash that SHOULD have been fatal was simply laughed off as the wounds healed, and she continued her song unabated.
She tired of his continued annoyance, seeking a worthy foe, and unleashed tendrils of, I shit you not, SHEET MUSIC from her mane and tail, slicing a gash across Griffin's face and sending both him, AND the Mane Six flying clean out of the ballroom. They were still there? Jeez, could have done something sooner.
Hey, that music was terrifying! I couldn’t block it out at all.
You still could have seen it coming. Wasn’t the transformation obvious enough?
We were scared okay!? I still feel bad about it...
"Hey, Aoi, I could use some help here." I heard the 'mighty pirate' shout, calling to the warwolf for reinforcements. He was right, we were gonna need 'em, especially me, since the magical musical mare had just set her eyes on me...Oh Celestia she just licked her lips, PLEASE don't start flirting with me!
"Come, my pet, let's make music together." Oh DAMMIT, now I got that big lipped alligator stuck in my head. ...And I just learned the hard way that a sadist's idea of sexy times involved PAINPAINPAIN!
I screamed "YOU COULD USE SOME HELP!? WHAT THE FUCK AM I, CHOPPED LIVER!?" I was ducking and dodging to avoid the razor-sharp blades of music and pulses of sonic magic. You have NO IDEA...how much this hurts! ...Yes, I DID have to make that joke!
Yes, yes you are.
You’re mean...
Oh shaddap, Chopped Liver.
"Griffin, can you and your crew handle a zoo?" Aoi asked.
"You got it, try not to die!" he said cheerily as he flew out the door to join the part of his army that wasn’t rescuing citizens.
"Same to you,” Aoi returned.
I whimpered "Halp?" while I was being slashed, stabbed, and garroted by the bobbing and weaving threads of musical magic eminating from Nightmare Octave's massive double-bass. Wait, wasn’t it a cello moments ago???
Aoi rushed to the stage where I was blasting out guitar riffs in the hopes of countering her magic. It...might have been working?
I began playing another song, hoping to beat away Nightmare Octave's merciless magical music, though the collision of our songs created some...unexpectedly epic feedback.
Aoi staggered at the noise, amplified by his hearing. He slowly walked towards her, grinding his teeth at every step. By the look of him, his eardrums were practically begging him to stop and cover them, but he kept walking. Nightmare Octave continued to blare out her deafening chord as Aoi drew closer and closer. We all saw wisps of light coming from the horn she received when she became Nightmare Octave.
Aoi stumbled at the pain of how loud the music was getting. He gasped for air as the warrior wolf clenched his ears, then stood up precariously. He ran towards her clumsily, his movements actually helping him dodge some of the still flying sheet music.
"Sairen no yōna anata ga himei!” he shouted in Japanese as he grabbed her muzzle and held her still. "DAMARE!" He eased Kokuryu below her horn and with one stroke carved off the infernal horn to her horror. The magical outburst as a result sent him flying through the wall, landing on Griffin. “KUSO!” He slowly stood and stabbed Kokuryu in the ground, the ringing persisting, then receding to make way for the blurred return of sound. However, The Octave quickly swiped her horn back into place, where it resealed to her forehead, as Griffin and Aoi tried to make their way closer against the barrage of sound assaulting their ears.
I buzzed away, having landed in the same hole me and Aoi had made earlier.
I pulled up my axe-itar and began playing a hellish riff, Nightmare Octave joining me. I don't know what my allies saw, but in this 'Music World' that appeared, everything looked like a REALLY TRIPPY video game! At my side were the Dark Warriors of Light, yes, THOSE guys, and at Octave's side were their dysfunctional evil counterparts. This...is going to be INSANE!
NIGHTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!
Nightmare Octave and I stood on opposing sides of a massive stage. Manning drums, guitars, and a piano, were the Four Warriors of Light: Fighter, Blackmage, Redmage, and Thief. On Octavia's side stood Lich, Marilith, Kraken, and Tiamat.
Now your nightmare comes to life.
Our battle began with a deafening blast as cannons fired on either side, revealing FLEETS of battleships on either side of us, targeting each other. High above, two screens, each showing five sets of green and blue bars, appeared.
Dragged you down below
Down to the devils show
To be his guest forever
Peace of mind is less than never
We launched a second volley, cannons firing raw music and blasting into Octave's band of villains, numbers popping up over their heads as their green bars dropped down.
Hate to twist your mind
But God ain't on your side
An old acquaintance severed
Burn the world your last endeavor
As our volley ended, our foes took it up, casting dark magics along with their volley of musical cannons, the blue bars dripping down. I realized, now, that they represented Health and Mana. This IS like a goddamned videogame! Seriously?! I’m playing Rock Band and Final Fantasy at the same time? How does that even work?!?
Flesh is burning
You can smell it in the air
Cause men like you have such an easy soul to steal (steal)
My troops began using spells and techniques as well, ripping into the opposing troops. A misfired shot did no damage to them, but left one of their battleships a smouldering hulk.
So stand in line while they ink numbers in your head
You're now a slave until the end of time here
Nothing stops the madness turning, haunting, yearning pull the trigger
Another volley fired, now simultaneous, the battle for our lives continued, cycling back and forth, taking turns to batter, bruise, blast, and break one another.
You should have known
The price of evil
And it hurts to know that you belong here
Yeah
Oooooooh
It's your fucking nightmare
While your nightmare comes to life
Our numbers were dropping on either side, battleships lost and teammates wounded.
Can't wake up in sweat
Cause it ain't over yet
Still dancing with your demons
Victim of your own creation
Beyond the will to fight
Where all that's wrong is right
Where hate don't need a reason
Loathing self-assassination
You've been lied to
Just to rape you of your sight
And now they have the nerve to tell you how to feel (feel)
So sedated as they medicate your brain
And while you slowly go insane they tell ya
"Given with the best intentions, help you with your complications"
The Octave kept chugging and neither her nor I appeared to be gaining any ground.
You should have known
The price of evil
And it hurts to know that you belong here
Yeah
No one to call
Everybody to fear
Your tragic fate
Is looking so clear
Yeah
Oooooooh
It's your fucking nightmare
Our battleship numbers had dropped below a fourth of their original as the Nightmare laughed. We’d both lost two teammates.
HA! HA! HA! HA!
(Break)
(Maniacal laughter)
Fight (Fight! ). not to fail (fail! )
Not to fall (fall! )
Or you'll end up like the others
Die (Die! ), die again (die! )
Drenched in sin (sin! )
With no respect for another
OH!
It looked like I was gaining the upper hand. She was losing battleships faster and I still had an ally.
Down(Down! ), feel the fire(fire! )
Feel the hate(hate! )
Your pain is what we desire
Lost (Lost! ), hit the wall (wall! )
Watch you crawl (crawl! )
Such a replaceable liar
And I know you hear their voices
(Calling from above)
And I know they may seem real
(These signals of love)
But our life's made up of choices
(Some without appeal)
They took for granted your soul
And it's ours now to steal
As your nightmare comes to life
Our ships were burning husks, our bands were bleeding in agony, but as Octave attempted to stand, I continued strong, reciting the final line as I charged for a full-bodied strike!
You should have known
The price of evil
And it hurts to know that you belong here
Yeah
No one to call
Everybody to fear
Your tragic fate
Is looking so clear
Yeah
Oooooooh
It's your fucking nightmare
Breaching out of the 'Music World', I leaped up at the gloating Nightmare Octave, who realized too late the rookie mistake she made. My strike distracted her long enough for Aoi to lop off the tip of her horn, releasing her magic uncontrollably and sending Griffin and Aoi BACK through the wall. The horn landed far away, on the opposite side of the room from her prey.
"Uggh...... nice.... move, Aoi..... Now she won't be able to cast magic," Griffin said, several magic explosions going off around us as they flew from her horn chaotically. "We are so screwed."
"Enough of this!” Nightmare Octave shrieked into the night. “You both have proven to be more trouble than you're worth. I'll dispose of both of you, then the whole world will hear my music, even without my horn."
Octave began playing an even louder song, if it could be called that, causing both Aoi and Griffin to fall over, clutching their heads with pain. Through the ringing, they heard an unexpected voice.
"SHHUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!"
Yep. Me, bitches.
I jumped from behind the Nightmare, overtaking her and with an open, slow, overly dramatic swing which anyone with any real skill could have blocked, I brought my axe-guitar crashing down, lodging it in her severed horn stump, splitting it with a cry of, "BEGONE, FOUL DEMONESS!"
I ripped my guitar-axe from the shattered horn-stump, drawing out a vile black mist. I began belting out [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI7XiJgt0vY]a legendary piece of music, dredging the dark magic from Octavia's body, slowly restoring her to normal and locking The Nightmare away within my guitar.
Aoi covered his ears, each sound bringing more and more pain.
"Knight, stop!" Griffin shouted.
I hoisted my guitar high.
"WWWRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, before getting bucked off by an irritated, yet thankful Octavia, the music and mayhem of the Gala finally over. I made my way to where the severed horn had landed. Before my eyes, the lost chunk of Octave's horn transformed into a small rounded triangle of blue metal....one of the missing fragments of Nightmare Moon's armor...the Pick of Destiny!...Why is it WRITTEN on the pick!?
Griffin fell over screaming, and Aoi landed next to him. "Owowowowowow!" Griffin writhed on the ground, clutching his eardrums for what he thought would be dear life.
"Owatta..." Aoi said, relaxing on his back.
"Finally, silence. Sweet silence." Griffin exhaled stopped squirming.
I sat up, staring Octavia in the eyes. She glared back at me...angrily. But in time it softened, even soliciting a grin. I began slowly laughing, and she joined in. In a few minutes, we were laughing so much from the adrenaline that neither of us could move.
"Hey Griffin..." Aoi said in the softest voice possible.
"Yeah?" Griffin whispered.
"Know any healing spells?" Griffin didn't respond, so Aoi just turned to look at him instead. "Know any healing spells?" he repeated.
Griffin nodded, pulled out a vial of a thick red liquid, as well as a red potion and a blue potion that looked suspiciously like health and mana potions respectively, downed all three, got to his feet, and pulled his sword out in front of him.
"Medico." He pointed at Aoi, and his cuts and bruises vanished. He then pointed at himself and repeated the incantation.
Aoi winced, then relaxed, letting out a heavy sigh “I've never had a night like that in 20 years...A battle like that in my life...Those are the battles I feel, the ones that make you want to keep living..."
"I haven't been hurt this bad since before I became a griffin,” Griffin said with a small chortle. "Yet, I still somehow came out of it okay. Heh. Fuck you, death, not today."
Aoi laughed, gaining back lost gasps of air. Griffin joined in. "Hey, Griffin..." Aoi began.
"Yeah?"
"...Where you headed next?"
I stumbled over to the duo, my mane smoking and my illusionary jacket torn, green-red blood dripping from it. "That...was awesome." I promptly fell flat on my face, ignoring my wounds.
"Gem Fido,” Griffin continued. “I gotta get back to rescuing slaves. This vacation was nice, but now, I need a vacation from my vacation."
Aoi slowly lifted up his hand and makes a thumb sign. "Mind if I hitch a ride? I'm headed there too..." Griffin matched his thumbs-up, then collapsed, laughing again.
Aoi turned his head to me. “Hey, Knightmare...do me a favor..."
“I don't think he can hear you,” Octavia said. She lowered her head, and pulled back up at a particularly LOUD snore coming from me. “Definitely can't hear you.”
"I'll say it anyway...Never play that loudly in earshot of me again...and thanks, you really shone through. Give him that message for me when he wakes up... Octavia was it?"
I gave a thumbs up, revealing I was faking being asleep. "Someone call a medic, please..."
"Ugh...fine,” Griffin grumbled, slamming his sword on my back, painfully. “Medico.” Once the spell is performed, all the wounds from my battle began to heal. “There, now quit your bitching."
“I think he got it,” Octavia said as she holds out her hoof to Aoi. “Octavia Philharmonica-Scratch, at your service, Sir Myoujin.”
Aoi slowly reached behind him and took the grey hoof in his paw. "Pleasure..." They shook once and he let his arm go limp.
Octavia smiled lightly and backed away. “I'll go find Princess Celestia and let her know what's happened...”
I moved my head to watch Octavia heading for the castle again, only to leap out of the way as a massive, cake-covered troll ran out the door screaming something about 'crazy mares', followed by a roaring, drunk Princess Celestia chasing him with a flaming broom, screaming 'cake thief'. "This whole damn world is nuts...I LOVE IT!"
"Haha! That's the spirit! Maybe you aren't so bad after all...pervert." Griffin gave me a noogie.
"Neither are you...asshole." I laughed heartily at the noogie, "Help! Octavia, help me! I need reinforcements!"
"Well, still not turning you human so you can eat,” Griffin said snarkily.
I sighed. "Meh, I can handle it..." Chrysalis walked by.
"Oh, wait, I forgot to mention, you can eat normally when transformed. Sorry." She buzzed off, giggling happily. She didn’t even look the slightest bit injured.
I started fuming. "...fucking bitch."
"Makes sense. Oh, by the way. Chrysalis is petrified of me. Want me to go play with her?"
I thought about it. “....nah. It won’t really help in the end.”
"And, I regret to inform you, but all the leftover treats were eaten by the Canterlot Zoo."
“AH, DAMMIT!” The last thing I saw as unconsciousness took me, was the sight of a bright pink and blue pegasus flying overhead with a triumphant grin...
Theron Swanson:
Link also broke
Jesse Mcferon:
I'll fix it later
