Chapter Eight: Life With A Pet.
So I left off with Twilight dragging me downstairs into her basement to do some standard testing, right? We didn’t do anything too wild or wacky, which was fine by me since I really wasn’t trying to have Twilight science all over me with filthy magic influences. We ran a MRP diagnostic to see what was going on with the flow of the mana in my body and Twilight held onto the results, saying that while my readings were abnormal, it may have been because my mana was still trying to regulate itself. I was still kinda hungry, so I could see how that one would play into things, but then Twilight had an interesting suggestion.
“Hey Jay; your eyes are too sensitive for you to take your sunglasses off down here, aren’t they?” Twilight asked.
I gave her a nod. “The lights would make it suck.”
“Why don’t you try sapping the mana from your eyes and store it in your heart? It’s not like it’s unheard of to try moving mana from one part of the body to another.” She gave me an encouraging smile, so I narrowed my eyes and gave it a shot.
I focused on my eyes by making my vision go blurry, but once I got the blur going well enough, I felt something ‘pop into place’, in a manner of speaking, and I could easily visualize the process of moving my mana from my eyes to my heart, but that wasn’t all. I tried reversing the process and added more mana to my eyes, making them feel cold and twitchy. It was a little hard to focus, but when I laid eyes on Twilight, it was kinda worth the oddness. I could see the flow of mana faintly glowing under her skin like it was running through its own network of arteries and veins, which was pretty interesting, and when I took my sunglasses off, the lines were a little brighter, though so was everything else. I approached Twilight and asked to see her hand for a moment so I could try something.
With my thumb as my main probe, I tried making my mana flow through my arteries like Twilight’s mana was, but I was having a Hell of a time getting my shit to flow correctly. I couldn’t actually manage to do it, so I focused on keeping my mana in my eyes and flowing a little bit out through my thumb. My girlfriend commented on the fact that she could feel more mana in my hand, and when I mentioned that I was trying to poke her mana with mine, she had a question.
“Jay, why are you trying to mana-probe me?” She asked amusedly.
I put my sunglasses back on. “To see if I can give other people mana. I read about somethin’ similar in Runic Transfusion: Passing Down Legends and wanted to know if I could jumpstart someone if I ever needed to.”
“Are you sure you’re not trying to sap a little of mine?” Twilight gave me a condescending smile.
I flipped her hand over and kissed her knuckles. “I’d ask instead of halfass stealin’ it.”
She squeezed my hand and gave me a look. “You know I was just messing with you, right?”
“I don’t like being called a thief. Even if I do take somethin’, I try to give back.”
“That’s honorable in a sense, but you’d have more moral standing if you didn’t take the thing in the first place.”
I placed my hands on her hips and bent down to kiss her forehead. “What if it was a trade? I take your heart, I give you love and trouble?”
“It’s more like I gave you my heart, you give me a great night’s sleep when I ask for one.” Twilight stood on her tiptoes to kiss my neck.
“Are you trying to turn me on, or is my neck just as high as you can reach?”
“Yes.” Twilight gave me a little nibble and a wink. “I don’t want to get my hopes too high, but maybe after we do the RMI we can do some snuggling and see what happens from there?”
“The Retroactive Mana Indexer?” I asked, remembering the acronym from a glossary.
“It’s the mass indexer, but yes. We need to find out just how much weight you lost.” Twilight started leading the way, picking out a path through the multitude of runic polygons on her floor until we came to a brown square. “Just hop on in and let me set the time frame.”
I stepped into the circle and started popping my fingers. “So how long is this one going to take?”
Twilight pinched the air in front of me with her thumb and index finger before spreading them to produce a medium sized screen. She tapped a few indicators and swiped down before saying, “You lost about a yoke. That’s not good.”
“How much is that in pounds?” I asked uneasily.
“About twenty.” She frown, concerned. “Are you hungry at all? You do look a little dehydrated…”
“I could use a bite. And please tell me you have something other than water or coffee to drink.”
“... How much coffee do you drink?”
“More than I should. I try to drink a cup of water for every cup of coffee, but sometimes I need the energy, y’know?”
“Alright, is there a restaurant in town that you like? I can’t really cook, but I know of a few places that are really popular among the guys that come around town.” Twilight gave me a smile.
I raised a brow. “Which ones are popular among the locals?”
She rolled her eyes. “They’re all good, it’s just that I think you’ll like Chateau Foie Gras more than something like The Coffee Pot or West-to-East.”
“Actually, I love The Coffee Pot, but West-to-East sounds good.”
Twilight’s hands folded over her heart. “Y-You mean I don’t have to put duck liver in my mouth again? Ever?”
“Ew dude.” I made a face.
Twilight went to hug me and face planted on the rune’s wall since they only activate when the rune’s doing something. I tried not to chuckle at her and stepped out since RMI’s (mana and mass) only stop extra things from coming in so I could give her a hug. Twilight grumbled unkind things about invisible walls and her tendencies to forget about shutting runes down when she started talking, but I just gave her kisses until she stopped bitching. Apparently Twilight had been wanting to try West-to-East with one of her friends, but no one had made the time for it to date. However, she cited the need for a disguise since she didn’t want to be caught bringing a man to an establishment that was known to be a little rough around the edges since it would reflect poorly on her, though I thought she was being ridiculous.
Instead of disguising herself as another girl, Twilight decided to use a gender reversal spell so we could make it a man-date and I told her that she wasn’t getting a kiss from me until she changed back. I call Twilight ‘she’ in her male form because she still felt like a girl, she just had a dick between her legs. After borrowing some of Spike’s clothes, we made our way to the saloon and nabbed a couple of seats at the bar. When I asked for a beer, the woman behind the counter, Gin Tonic, asked if I wanted a light beer and I gave her a look.
“Babe, light beer is for women and queers. It doesn’t need to be black, but it does need to be decent.” I replied.
‘Dusk Dazzle’ chuckled and Tonic smirked at me. “Think you’re a regular tough guy, don’t you?”
Dusk patted my arm. “He’s tougher than you might think.”
Tonic rolled her eyes. “All you Dairy Boys think you’re tough shit. A Twily says you don’t make it to the bottom of a dark beer.”
I smirked at her. “A Twily? I might not be much of a drinker, but it’s just regular beer. It’s not like it’s liquor.”
“I’ve never seen a guy walk in here and get past two sips of my main supply. Tell you what; you and your cute little buddy manage to finish a pint apiece and you eat free instead.” The bartender offered. “How’s that sound?”
“Like you have bad business practices.” I said as I shook her hand.
She raised a brow. “Firm grip for a guy.”
“Keep it up and this guy is gonna end the day by spanking you for being a little shit.”
Dusk chuckled at that. “The only one you’d better be spanking is me.”
I shrugged. “Your ass is nicer anyway.”
Tonic rolled her eyes. “So what do y’all want? Have enough time to find the fanciest thing on the menu?”
I rolled my eyes. “Let me get the Double-Fried Slopped-Up Topped-Up Fries and a pulled pork sandwich.”
Tonic blinked at me before turning to Dusk. “... Alright. What do you want?”
She gave her a big smile. “Can I have the Saloon Shoot-Out Sliders?”
The bartender stared at Dusk for a second too before shaking her head. “It’s like y’all don’t even have dicks.”
I traded a brief look with Dusk and she was grinning, but I was a little salty. “I’ll slap you with mine, Babe.”
Gin shook her head. “If you’re not all talk, it wouldn’t surprise me if you were being serious.” She fucked off to go get our beer and place our orders.
Dusk broke out into a giggle fit until she realized that I wasn’t laughing. “Jay? Everything alright?”
“Can’t get a decent beer and I’m expected to eat nasty shit because of my gender. The fuck is this noise?” I grumbled.
“... So you don’t fit any of the male stereotypes?” She asked.
“No, not the Arcadian ones. Hell, I don’t even want a beer, but my masculinity won’t let me go to a bar and order a soft drink.”
“It’s weird to know that you hate being a guy so much, but it’s not like you’re trying to be a woman or anything… You’re just odd.”
I gave her a look. “I’ll spank you.”
“I’ll probably like it.” Dusk made a ‘What can you do?’ kinda face and shrugged.
“Kinky little minx.” I grumbled.
“What about if I spank you?” She teased.
“It’ll actually be a punishment.”
“Well that’s no fun.” She huffed with the voice of a guy. She already sounded gay as fuck.
“If you’d like to leave scratches on my back, then that’s all well and good,” I said quietly, “but I don’t exactly like being hit.”
“When you put it like that, it’s odd that I might be into it.”
Luckily for me, Gin returned with our beers and I made sure to maintain eye contact with her as I tried the brew. It was bitter, as expected, but I like bitter. “It’s not bad, but it’s real hoppy.”
The bartender shrugged. “Grand Junction Folk like it hoppy when they make beer. Most of it’s liquor, but you know. Sometimes.”
Dusk made a face. “I always was more of an ale ga- Er, guy.”
Gin Tonic gave Dusk a deadpan look. “Spell?”
Dusk blushed and was enveloped in a purple light for a moment before Twilight appeared in the outfit she’d been wearing earlier. “L-Lovely weather?”
“P-Princess!” Tonic gasped. “I-I-I didn’t know it was you, I- Er, that was probably the point…”
Twilight gave her a sheepish smile. “Yeah, let’s just keep it a secret that I’m here, okay? My friend and I don’t really need the attention.”
The bartender glanced at me. “... Should I guess at who you are?”
I gave her a smirk and looked at her over my sunglasses, the room being dark enough to not immediately blind me. “I wouldn’t, but I’m sure you have an idea.”
She blushed. “The night is lovely, Your Highness. Let me check on your food.”
When she was gone, Twilight had a little giggle and I helped her along by tickling her side for a moment, but then she made me stop and gave me a fake stern look. “Stop it, Mister!”
“You would talk to the Princess of The Night in such tones?” I asked, feigning being appalled.
Twilight giggled some more. “Okay, so it’s funny that she thinks you’re Luna, but now I’m visibly here with a guy!”
“Trust me, Twilight. One way or another, people are going to start recognizin’ that I’m not the typical Arcadian guy sooner or later, so I’d rather have it be sooner.”
I watched her eyes and saw a hint of crazy creeping and crawling, but Twilight was kosher for the time being. “I understand that you’re an independent man, but I want you to be able to depend on me without letting your pride get in the way, okay?”
“Twilight, you can’t be afraid to let me struggle for a little while. I’ve-”
“I’m sure you’ve faced plenty of tough times before, Jay, but you don’t have toanymore. Why struggle when you can enjoy smooth sailing?” She asked reasonably.
“For the sake of being able to call what you have yours. To take pride in your accomplishments. To brag about the obstacles you’ve overcome. Usin’ your well of resources is like cheatin’, Twilight, and there’s not much you can say on that to change my mind on that.” I said softly, abstaining from holding her hand so it didn’t look like we were on a date.
Twilight gave me a frustrated look. “You’re illogical.”
“I might not be an Arcadian man, but I’m still a man.” I chuckled.
She sniffed at that before poking me in the side, to which I responded by poking her back. You can imagine how offended Twilight was at being poked, so she poked me in turn and thus we began a poke war until we start hitting each other with spoons. Then we heard plates get placed in front of us and Gin just smiled as she walked away. Twilight and I traded a guilty look before we dug into the Double-Fried Fries, and the mother-fuckers were fuck-mothering delicious. They were basically home fries with brown and sausage gravy, which turned out to be fucking fantastic when you added them to twice-fried potatoes. My sandwich was good, Twilight’s little sandwiches were good, and we returned to her house for some cuddles on the couch, but I had a lot on my mind and too much time to think about it.
Applejack was probably going to end up being my servant, and I didn’t like the thought of that. I didn’t even have to make her do anything to not like the sound of that just because the thought of making someone do something for me and not paying them makes my skin crawl. I get that Max hates rape most of all, and I honestly see why, but I don’t understand how the guy doesn’t consider enslavement to be equally horrible. Taking someone’s ability to do what they want from them is straight up evil, which is why God’s True Will exists in the first place. There’s some fuckass bullshit conspiracy that basically says that Maximus stole free will from mankind, but there’s no proof to back it up, and Max himself will even tell you that he lets people earn their time in Hell as they please. GTW is just a group of lunatic rapists with guns, and no one ever feels sorry for the ones who show up on SmiletonLIVE!
Shit, that was tangent-y, but still. Appleslave no good.
Then we had Fluttershy. The ever pleasant problem that is Fluttershy. I liked the girl (Still do), and I truly appreciated that she saved my life (Times two), but I was fucking terrified of what happens if her alter ego takes over and decides to lick me with a little too much venom, let alone kiss me. Shit doth tend to roll downhill, and if there’s anything life has taught me, then it’s that we’re all lying down at the bottom belly down with our mouths open. I didn’t think Fluttershy’ was going to try and make me be her thrall forever, but do I really have a choice? Even when I had Twilight in my arms, I wished Fluttershy was around so she could be included, but I may have felt that way even before I started dating her. I don’t really know what my conclusion with Fluttershy was, to be honest, and it took me a good while to come to one.
Twilight? The way she’d changed the game and shut me down earlier in the day was worrisome to say the least, and it didn’t help that she was getting pressure from outside sources to keep me in check. I didn’t and don’t like being told how to act since I generally do a good job of keeping my shit together, but then bitches wanna stress me out and that’s just not the plan. While I was thinking, Twilight got up to go use the restroom and I zoned out for a little bit, staring off into space until she came back and put her positively, perfectly plump posterior on my lap and nuzzled me.
“It’s so weird to have a guy as big as you around. I mean, Spike is a little tall because he’s a Drake, but Big Mac, Wrought Iron and Ty are the only guys their size I’ve ever seen, and you’re still one of the biggest guys I’ve laid eyes on.” Twilight commented.
“Seriously?” I asked.
She kissed my cheek. “Yup. A lot of Arcadian men are my height or a little shorter.”
“... That’s weird.”
“My brother, the Prince of The Crystal Empire, would probably only come up to your eyes.”
“On Max, I swear, if he tries to intimidate me I’m probably gonna laugh.” I chuckled.
Twilight patted my chest. “He doesn't have it in him to go against me. I might be his little sister, but I was the one who taught him his strongest spells.”
“Huh. It kinda sounds like Arcadian guys are lackluster, though I’m not trying to rag on your brother.”
“It’s not that guys don’t have what it takes, it’s just… Well, a lot of them care more about their looks or nonsensical things that don’t matter… As much as Rarity likes to point out a man’s proper place, she kind of acts like one…”
“That’s because Rarity has what an Earthling would call a Princess Complex.”
Twilight leaned away from me and gave me a dirty look. “I’m literally a Princess.”
“Yes, but you don’t have a Princess Complex. You don’t want to be taken care of and pampered, nor do you look down on people.”
“Yeah, that sounds like Rarity.” Twilight said flatly.
I shrugged and brought Twilight back to my chest because she was warm and it was a little cool in the house. “We need a blanket.”
“We need to shower and go to bed.” She corrected. “It’s getting late.”
I glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s nine forty-five. You just wanna get laid.”
Twilight blushed and cleared her throat. “... Well… Is it a bad idea to as- Oop!” I slid my hand up her thigh, across the smooth, tender flesh.
“You’ve had worse ideas.” I murmured, scooping her up.
In my defense, sex is the perfect way to stop thinking for an hour or two if someone stops you from grabbing your weed.
₪ღ✮ღ₪
The next morning saw me staying at Twilight’s for breakfast, but after that, I was free to go back to my shop and reopen, but it’s not like I had many customers. I ended up leaving the door to the back of my shop open as I worked on the slingshot for Clear Sky, and in between the odd browser and the occasional real customer (Usually looking for a rune), I managed to get the assembly put together and most of the slingshot enchanted to Hellenbach and back, though I forget where that reference is from… Probably Grand Theft Auto or something since I blew a lot of time with the series, but that’s just pointless information. Getting back to actually important stuff (Or as close as I get.) I was a little peckish by the time I was done. I was downright nibbly, so I decided to stow my creation out in the open where I’d told Sky I was going to leave it and took myself over to Fluttershy’s after most of the other shops were closing for the day.
It was a bit of a walk, but the smile that bloomed on her face when she saw me was well worth it. “Jay! It’s good to see you!” She gave me a hug that was great for three reasons, and one of them was because she smelled nice.
I hugged her back to make the two bigger reasons even better. “You’ve been on my mind all day. How’s it been goin’?”
Fluttershy let go and lead me inside. “I-It’s been okay, but i-it’s nicer now that you’re here…” She gave me a shy smile that made my heart do a funny little dance.
“Great, now I wish I would’ve brought somethin’ to make it even better.” I sighed. “Missed opportunities, am I right?”
“W-Well, we missed an o-opportunity the last time you visited…” Fluttershy hinted, disappointing me a little bit.
“You mean the date?” I asked, offering her an out.
She smiled bashfully and curled a lock of her hair, glancing at me. “W-Would you l-l-like to go on one n-now?” Color me surprised.
I gave her an easy smile in turn. “As long as the place isn’t named after liver, I’m good to go.”
Fluttershy gasped. “You don’t like Chateau Foie Gras? I-I thought a lot of guys liked that place!”
“I’ve never been, but I’m not really into the upscale cuisine scene.” I said honestly.
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you! I don’t like the idea of eating animals I take care of.”
“Rabbit stew is delicious.” I commented.
My Vampire girlfriend gave me a look. “I’ll bite you and we’ll see how that feels.”
“Kinky.” I winked at her.
She blushed. “Th-That’s not what I meant!”
“How do you know I’m not just trying to sleep with Angel?” I asked.
Fluttershy seemed floored by the left fielder. “... It’s biologically impossible?”
“With that attitude? Of course it is.” I huffed in a manly manner.
“... I’ve never considered putting these words together in a sentence before, but please don’t rape my rabbit.” Fluttershy requested at a volume higher than I’d heard from her before. It was nearly conversational.
“Give me a kiss and I won’t even consider it.” I bargained.
She blushed and quickly gave me a kiss on the cheek, which I dealt with. “Th-That c-counts, right?”
I gave her a look. “I’m paying for dinner since you want to play around on the kisses.”
“I-I can’t let a man pay for dinner! I-I-I’ll never be able to look the any of the girls in the eye again!” Fluttershy immediately started hyperventilating.
I didn’t know what else to do, so I kissed her, which made her seize up like she was paralyzed for a few moments before she started getting into it. Fluttershy’s lips were sweet, tasting something like a lemony liqueur that was pretty damn enticing, not unlike how Twilight’s lips tasted a little like wine. I wondered if their lower lips tasted the same as the upper ones since I hadn’t really been paying attention with Twilight and I was awfully tempted to confirm my hypothesis with Fluttershy as long as she was willing.
I let Fluttershy go and gave her a smile. “Okay, you can pay for dinner.”
She gave me a grateful smile. “Th-Thank you…”
“You’re welcome for the opportunity to spend your own money.” I said, amused to no end.
Fluttershy giggled and took my hands in hers for a moment, taking a few seconds to gather her words. “Is there somewhere you’d like to go? There’s a new sushi restaurant in town that’s been getting good reviews.”
“Sliced Thin, right? The place that teleports their fish in?” I asked, having heard about it through some of my customers.
She smiled and nodded. “It’s a nice Kasu place that I think you’d like.”
“Kasu? The people from Tsuka, right?” I asked, receiving a nod. “Huh. I wonder what warrior food is like.”
“It’s sliced thin.” Fluttershy giggled.
I gave her a hug and started walking her backwards, then I just started two-stepping around with her. “Smartass.”
Fluttercup followed my lead and let me dance us around. “The woman is supposed to lead the dance.” She commented as we were twirling about.
“Are you complaining?” I asked, knowing the answer.
She giggled and rested her chin on my shoulder. “I don’t mind. It’s just nice.”
“Hmm, how do I make this less nice?” I said goofily.
Fluttershy held onto me a little tighter. “... L-Letting go is the fastest way...”
“So I should keep holdin’ on if I want you to smile?”
“Already there.” She chuckled.
“Glad to hear it.” We continued casually dancing around for a few more moments until I let her go and asked, “Do you want to do the date now, or would you wanna do some cuddling first?”
Fluttershy gave me a warm smile that turned sultry in the blink of an eye. One glance at her irises told me that I was dealing with Shy again. “Why don’t we take a break from the sweet stuff for a moment and get acquainted a little better?”
I gave her a look. “Date first, sex maybe later.”
Shy returned my look with one of her own. “ You know that you’re a tease, right?”
I gave her a dirty look. “I’m just generally not that crazy about sex. It’s not like I don’t find you attractive, it’s just that I don’t want it to be the only thing I have to offer, and I really don't want it to be the only thing you get from me.”
“I’ll have some dick with a side of semen, thank you. Hold the boyfriend bullshit at the door.” Shy scoffed.
I gave her a shitty look. “You want my body and that’s it? Yeah, no, I’m not digging it. Give me back Fluttershy.”
Shy pouted. “Why, I’m beginning to feel like you don’t want me at all, Jameson. You know that I’m the reason you’re alive to say no to me, right?”
“So you saved my life for the sole purpose of sex?”
“Yes.”
Shy closed her eyes and Fluttershy opened them. “Th-That’s not true, Jay! I-I would never- I-I saved you because it was the right thing to do!”
I gave her a withering glare and Fluttershy blanched, retreating into her hair. “Look me in the eye and say it.”
She glanced at me and started hyperventilating before she gulped hard and tried to meet my gaze again. “I-I gave you my blood because I… B-Because… B-B-Because... Y-You’re the first guy who’s ever told me that I wasn’t u-ugly…”
“... So do you want to be with me because I’m the first guy to accept you for you, or is it because you actually think I have qualities that you like in a guy?”
“... Y-You’re really capable and adaptable, e-even in a brand new world. Y-You make things look so easy when they’re actually looking really grim, b-but y-you’re also really sweet and affectionate and cute…” Fluttershy stroked her hair nervously, glancing at me every so often. “I-It’s odd to think of you as a guy when you act so much like a girl…”
“I’d be offended by that, but it’s more of a compliment to me in this context. Thank you for the affirmations, Fluttershy. It’s nice to know why you like me since it’s just weird for someone as hot as you to be interested in someone like me.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes, my brows high, not quite understanding it myself.
“... You know that no one is going to turn you down if you want to sleep with them, right?” Shy said flatly. I had to look at Fluttershy’s irises to check, but they’d switched in the blink of an eye.
“Stop flipping back and forth mid-conversation. It’s a little disorienting.” I groused.
“Are you just going to ignore what I said? Like, you’re just not going to acknowledge being the hot sibling?” Shy asked irritably.
I rolled my eyes. “Now I know you’re full of shit. Ty’s always been more handsome than me. Even our Moms say that shit.”
Shy gave me a real fucked up look. “Boy, are you being serious? Most women would sell their left tit for a shot with you!”
I scoffed. “That’s how it would be for you on Earth. Women would want to be you and men would want to be in you.”
She gave me a sultry smile. “What about you? What would you give for a night with me?”
“I’d happily go on a date with you,” I said pointedly, “so neither of us feel like we skipped a step in the whole ‘dating’ ordeal.”
Shy huffed. “Can’t you just-” She changed mid-sentence and Fluttershy came back. “Hi. C-Can we go now?”
“Sliced thin, right? I’m following your lead.” I gave her a small smile.
Fluttershy returned it with a minute smile of her own and we got to moving without further hold up since I’m sure we were both looking forward to some alone time away from her animals. As we walked and talked about a few of our favourite things, I learned that Fluttershy is a fan of light coffee, dark tea, and here recently, she’s been smoking her herb instead of making tea with it because it seems to taste better when burned. We agreed to have a cup of herbal tea when we got back from Sliced Thin, and I’ve gotta say that while I’m not crazy about seafood in general, I’d go back to Sliced Thin with Fluttershy some time.
We went back to her place after grabbing food and I initiated some cuddling, but Fluttershy requested to be the big spoon, so I got to rest my head between her breasts and enjoy a little time in her tender embrace. By the time Fluttershy was building up the confidence to ask me for actual sex, I was more than ready to give it to her, so I stopped with the pretenses and gave her what she wanted. I would write it down, but my first time with Fluttershy was special, and it was a little bad in the beginning, but she didn’t shed a tear and she only clawed me a little bit when I took her cherry. I was really proud of her for being able to hang in there, but it’s not like I was eager to get off or anything. Fluttershy was the only one who came that night, and it was mostly because I didn’t want to keep hurting her during her first time. Fluttershy said that she was okay throughout the entire endeavor, but I could hear the pain in her breathing when I went a little too quickly, though clitoral stimulation definitely made it better than it could have been.
I decided to sleep at Fluttershy’s since she was down for it, and holding her long into the night made me feel better about making her bleed from her groin. She held me nice and tight, even as she fell asleep, and much to my surprise, I was asleep when Fluttershy got up and got out of bed for the day. Of course, it was early as shit when she got up and at ‘em for the day, but still. I took my time to get moving, but even then I was still out the door with a goodbye kiss on my lips by the time the sun rose.
With shit else to do for the time being, I went back to my shop and started off by making more runes. Just general runes, mind you. None of them were higher than a D-Rank, but most of them turned out well in the first place, so I didn’t need them to be super good or anything. I had a customer come in early in the morning and buy a couple of puzzles from me for her husband to solve, but when I asked if she would be interested in any runes, she asked for a talisman that would help her man keep it up when things got intimate, though she didn’t use so many words to say which problem she was addressing.
I had to go digging through my books to find something even remotely similar to what she was asking for, and I found it in a book called Artificery For Dummies: Runes That WILL Come Along. There was also a rune specifically for making a woman gush during an orgasm right next to the erectile dysfunction rune, so I made sure to keep that book on one of my more prominent shelves so I could have a peek at the cool shit that would inevitably come out of having a book based around sex and that sort of thing.
The woman could only afford an E-Rank version of the rune, so I bumped her up to a D-Rank for free since I remembered Twilight mentioned that I was bigger than your average Arcadian by a few inches. I figured that the woman might as well have a hard dick if it’s not going to be the tallest stalk in the cornfield. For the record, the customer was probably in her late thirties, so she could nibble on my cob if she really wanted to. Well, if she could avoid getting killed by Twilight, that is.
I went back to making more puzzles since it was fun to come up with things that were supposed to come apart in non-obvious ways, and when I figured out how to get two rings knotted up in a chain and unraveled all over again, I was glad to say that I’d blown some time productively. Sounds a bit like an oxymoron, but sometimes work involves fucking around, and that my friends, is just how life is. It’s not like it’s a bad thing; no, it’s actually great for innovation and efficiency. You’ll eventually find better ways to do a task, or in some cases, you’ll find a new thing entirely.
Here’s to beating your metaphorical meat at work.
After I had my stroke of genius, I made more of them by cutting chain to length and using some of the previously useless rings to fuck around and make the puzzle for different thicknesses of chains. I had a lot and little other use for them, so they made handy dandy money makers. I didn’t make that many since I didn’t know how they were going to sell, but as with all the things I’d made, I put instructions on how to make more and how to do and redo the puzzle. The information never leaves my head after I write it down, and it’s useful to show customers who manage to solve things, but can’t put them back together. I’m not much of an artist, but I like to think that my skills aren’t necessarily subpar or anything, so the illustrations may or may not be helpful. Schematics are one thing, but directions are another, okay?
I’d like to say that something else happened, but that was really it for the rest of the week. I mean, I started working on a bow for Pinkie since she asked if I could come up with something for her. I made the frame out of a metal Twilight called Ganthede that was a dark, muddy gray. I liked that it was lighter than you’d expect from a metal that was only slightly inferior to steel, but only being around forty percent as dense. Sadly, Ganthede swords were supposed to be absolute shit because it’s too light to get power behind a swing, but it was perfect for a compound bow.
I ended up using Manticore hair for my string since it was supposed to be some of the toughest stuff out there, and true to form, I couldn’t actually break or cut through a good lock with normal tools. Finding a way to weave the hairs so that I could use them as my bowstring was a bitch and a half, but it’s not like they became unusable when I failed. It took me days to get a solid string together, but it took me a solid week to get it onto the bow and make it stay there. I mean, I took it off of purpose a few times just because I needed to know how to repair it, but still. A full week to get that shit down pat.
Pinkie was thrilled with her bow, but when we found out that it was a little on the heavy side, she was fucking ecstatic. I could barely draw the thing to halfway, having kept Pinkie’s Tripe-A Mundusian status in mind while making it. Apparently she had yet to find a bow as compact as the one I’d made for her, and the best part about it was that I’d made it foldable, though it was only feasible if you had the strength to get the string to go taught again. I’d made the locking mechanism out of a tougher metal called Hexant, so don’t you go and judge me and shit.
I’ll pick up with the visit with Ty that happened a few days after I gave Pinkie her bow. Yes, those two events correlate, but it was just a casual bribe. Nothing terribly sketchy going on over there or anything.
₪ღ✮ღ₪
I woke up to find Twilight staring at me, which would have been less weird if I had actually gone to sleep in her house, or if she’d come to see me in mine the night before. Instead of trying to appear sane, Twilight decided to get real creepy and watch me while I was defenseless, so I properly freaked out for a little bit before I got up and chewed her out for letting herself into my house, and specifically my room without giving me a heads up. Twilight was pretty understanding about why I was salty, but she had news anyway.
“Jay, I need you to be less mad at me and be more getting ready for your visit with Ty. I told you that we were going to be leaving early.” Twilight said, earning herself a dark look.
“Don’t get fucked up, woman.” I grunted, getting out of bed.
“Oh? Are you going to be the one doing the fucking up? Because I’ll just go to Minceton without you.” She huffed. It was too early and I was too tired, so I snatched Twilight up and threw her onto my bed. She cried out, “Hey!” after she got thrown, but she looked a lot happier about it when I followed her onto the bed.
“Look here, you little purple Princess. Now I’m gonna kiss ya and you’re gonna let me, and them I’m gonna grab some clothes and hop in the shower, capisce?” I growled.
“Where’s my kiss, tough guy?” Twilight taunted.
I gave it to her and she giggled a bit before letting me get to my morning routine. I’d been considering growing a beard since mine usually tended to turn out decently if I let it grow, but Twilight and Fluttershy were both a fan of the clean shaven look, so I kept my face clear of hairs. The shower was nice and the quick breakfast Twilight and I had at my place was pretty alright seeing as how it was just some fried potatoes and eggs, both made with bacon grease because I know how to make my food edible from the pan to the plate. Twilight’s always a fan of my cooking, though I don’t tell her that it’s because I’m a savage with pork fat. Why? Because I don’t want her to think that I’m a feeder or some shit like that.
We got a move on soon enough, but this time we just went to Wrought Iron’s house instead of fucking around by going to get breakfast at a shitty place. We were expected to be there, so Wrought Iron’s son, Shuttle Cock, was the one who answered the door bleary eyed and half awake. We were allowed in and Iron himself showed his face after ten minutes of waiting, though when he jogged into the living room, I doubted that the delay was because of any ill will toward Twilight.
“G’mornin’.” Wrought Iron grunted, sounding a lot like he’d just finished hitting a Cuban. Both the cigar and a Cuban person, that is.
Twilight gave him a brilliant smile. “Good morning, Iron! How are you feeling this morning?”
“Feelin’ like Princesses don’t know when normal folk get up.” He grumbled.
“At least she isn’t making you make her breakfast.” I said, shooting Twilight a glare.
She colored. “You offered!”
“That’s because your taste in food is terrible.” I replied.
“Did she take ya to that shitty little cafe with the poached eggs?” Wrought Iron asked.
“Yup.”
“Hey! Eggcellence is excellent!” Twilight protested.
“Their food is garbage.” Iron said, agreeing with me over his Princess.
Twilight pointed at him. “I’ll have you in the stockades, Mister!”
“If you put him in the stockades, you won’t get another kiss from me until you let him out.” I warned.
My girlfriend huffed and crossed her arms. “You won’t get another kiss from me if you keep taking his side.”
“I can do without kisses for a day if I don’t think about it too hard.” I replied, trying to sound serious. “Anyway, when are we going to wake my brother up?”
“Bumblefuck oughtta be up in a second. Cock got to him- Is somethin’ funny, you little fuck?” Wrought Iron growled as my face twitched.
“No sir.” I said drolly, lying through my teeth.
“... S’what I thought. Like I was sayin’, Cock gets him up pretty quick- Just fuckin’ laugh!” Iron snarled at me.
I gave him a shit-eating grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man, but I heard that your son manages to get Ty out of bed quick enough for the important stuff.”
Wrought Iron glared at me. “Ty woulda laughed.”
“Ty would have gotten chewed out for laughing.” Twilight pointed out.
“It’s fun for everyone at some point.” Iron maintained.
“You’re just a prick.” I said simply.
“So?”
“You two should consider being nicer to people.” Twilight said with a holier-than-thou kind of attitude.
I wasn’t having it. “I’ll spank you in front of this man, Twilight. I really will.” I warned.
She flushed and glared at me adorably. “Think about it too long and I’ll be the one spanking you, Buster.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” I replied lustfully, giving her a wink.
“I don’t wanna hear y’all go over the weird, kinky shit ya do in the bedroom, so leave it at the door.” Wrought Iron grunted, sounding a little uncomfortable.
Twilight blushed some more and silence fell until Ty came in the room, yawning and scratching at his growing beard. “Ay, whassup?”
I got up and we got our bro-hug on. “It’s good to see you, man, even if I wish it was a little later in the day.”
“Whatever’s whatever, nigga.” Ty grunted. “How you been, man?”
“Been good, homes. Suit up so we can talk outside.”
“Why do you want to talk outside?” Twilight asked suspiciously.
I didn’t know what cards to play, so I threw down the Jack and gave Twilight a bitchy look. “You don’t think that guy-talk is meant for girls, do you?”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re going to talk about me, aren’t you?”
“He’s your man. Of course he’s gonna get some shit off his chest he can’t say to you.” Ty scoffed.
“Shut up, you overgrown goat.” Twilight snapped, hitting Ty with a glare that he should have feared. “I wasn’t talking to you.”
My brother is not a smart man.
“Bruh- Bitch please. You talk to him, I chime in. We work like that.” My dumbass half-sibling replied hotly.
Twilight’s glare grew darker and Wrought Iron stepped in. “Heya, Princess. Why don’t I make us some tea?”
My psychotic girlfriend gave exactly no shits.“Are you trying to get vaporized, Tyler? Because I don’t like you. I don’t like that Jay’s so close to someone like you as it is, and it’s well within my power to make him not give a damn about whether you live or die and he’ll love me for it. Think hard you fu-cking simpleton: Is backtalking me really worth it?”
“Bitch, if you don’t get the fuck outta here with that noise, Imma piss on you like R. Kelly.” Ty growled.
I’ve said it many times, but my brother is not a smart man, which is why I have to be.
“Okay, we’re not talking anymore. We’re just not. Not happenin’. Okay? Okay. Nobody gotta say nothin’ else. We good? Let’s be good.” I looked between Ty and Twilight, and Ty opened his mouth first, so I bit his fucking head off. “Nigga if the next words out of your mouth aren’t an apology or the sane suggestion to go outside, I’m cuttin’ your fuckin’ tongue out since it’s apparently only good for bullshit.”
Ty raised his chin at me. “You the little brother. Respek.”
I glanced at Twilight, but turned my focus back to Ty. “Tiberius. Seri-” Ty shoved me. “Bruh. Don’t putcha hands on me.”
He immediately went into a diatribe that I wasn’t really trying to hear. “Nigga you done got softer than baby cock in a cotton swab, lettin’ some bitch rule yo life, tell you when you can see ya own blood, let her boss yo sorry, pathetic ass around like you some kinda fuckin’ slave and she’s Queen Whitey widda whip. You turnin’ inta a bitch-made, sackless, femboy, and I ain’t tryna hear that you ‘just tryna keep us kosher’ ya fuckass nigga witcha high-yella house-nigga actin’ punkass bitchass pussyass buuullshit. Fuckin’ only nigga you buck to the only nigga who really gotcho back! The fuck done happened to you, Jay?”
“Jay, say the word-” Twilight started.
“How ‘bout you not word with your Arkaish for a sec?” I held up a hand and looked at her, my face placid.
She huffed. “I’m going to let that slide-”
“Twilight. Words. Stop.”
She glared at me, but she shut the fuck up, so I looked at Ty and kept my tone flat as I spoke. “You see that, Ty? Twilight listens to me sometimes because I have her favor. What you need to understand is that this woman doesn’t NEED TO FUCKING SEE YOU TO KILL YOU!”: I roared. “While you’re FUCKIN’ SPITTIN’ on the GODDAMN EL DORADO I’M TRYNA BUILD, I’m fuckin’ sittin’ here lookin’ at ONE A’ THE MOST DANGEROUS MAXDAMN BEINGS ON THE PLANET, AND YOU’RE GONNA PISS IT OFF! You got one more time ta fuck me, nigga. You got one more time to be a fu-ckin’ nigger before we’re through, blood be fucked. Got my ass fuckin’ strugglin’ ta make sure your STUPID ASS don't get us killed before we lay our fuckin’ heads down. So you know what? Push Twilight. Keep fuckin’ wit her. I dare you. I’m not steppin’ again, and you can blame ya damn self on that. Fuckin’ stupid retarded ass nigga thinkin’ I’M- Me, of ALL the niggas you know, just gonna lay down and get fuckin rolled over. Goddamn I wish you actually had a fuckin’ brain.”
Ty looked like he wanted to sock me. “You better get the fuck on somewhere before I lay you out.”
I popped my neck and squared up. “You done fucked up, Tiberius.”
He didn’t waste any time in throwing the first punch, but my dumbass brother never was any good at dealing with me. Yeah, Ty can take down six motherfuckers solo, but he’s a slugger. When we got into boxing, I was an outboxer/boxer puncher, and our match-ups tended to go my way if Ty didn’t get lucky fast. I dodged his first punch and swatted his second, but then I tried for a cross-counter that was way too risky for me to consider it twice. My punch landed clean on Ty’s chin, but I wasn’t exactly a boxer-puncher. The thing was that I had to wear Ty down before I myself wore down, and with… Well, I’ve already admitted to knowing some Blood Magic, but over the few weeks since I’d last seen Ty, I may or may not have carved some runes into the insides of my thighs and sewn them up…
… Okay, so I should have felt bad about cheating like a piece of shit against my own brother, but he was the one who doesn’t know when to let the sleeping Dragon lie. When my blow connected with Ty’s face, I wasn’t expecting him to be terribly phased by it since he was apparently supposed to be a badass only a single rank below Applejack, but the look on his face when I cocked back for a quick jab told me to duck, so I did on instinct, and that saved my delicate features from being knocked off of my face. A voice I named Catherine told me to hop backwards at a two solid, so I shoved myself backwards about two good steps and Ty’s fist flew through the space my face used to be. Dude was killer fast, but the saving grace I clung to desperately was that he was a raging bull, and that meant that he was swinging blinder than a mythical bat.
Wrought Iron stepped up to the plate and rocked Ty with a straight-right that I heard, which was a bad thing. He’d caught Ty on the cheek instead of the chin, and three shots later, the older man was backing off to get distance and Twilight stepped forward. “ENOUGH!” She clapped her hands and Ty dropped to his knees. “Jay, close your eyes.”
“You kill him we’re through.” I warned.
Twilight leveled a harsh glare at me, Sleipnir gnashing its teeth, prepared to make my brother its next meal. “What makes you think I won’t just feed you a love potion?”
“Because you want me to love you naturally. You kill my brother, I’ll never stop hating you.” I replied, my voice as hard as stone. I’ve faced death for Ty before, and I wasn’t afraid to do it again.
Twilight shook her head at me slowly. “You want him alive, you keep this maggot out of my sight. No one who attacks you gets away with it twice, Jameson. No one. And yes, Applejack is well aware of that.”
I marched up to her and stared her down, my balls swelling with molten lead, my dong dangling downward. “You need to chill. The fuck. Out. This cross-him-kill-you shit? Yo, it’s killing me. I want to love you, Twilight. I want to make you happy because you’re a great woman except for the murdery shit. Stop the murdery shit. Please. Honestly, like, you make me afraid to get too close to people, Purps. I don’t want someone I like to fuck up one too many times disappear because you decide who’s a mainstay in my life. I’m begging you: Let me ask when I need help. I mean, yes, thank you for stepping in before Wrought Iron got hurt, but shtahp it.”
Twilight smacked me.
After that little thing, she kissed me for about three seconds and slapped me again.
“First things first; I’m in charge. Don’t forget that. Second: I’ll let Ty exist in my presence, but I’m cursing him. My name will not leave his mouth, and he will not speak to me. Third,” She patted my cheek and gave me a patronizing smile. “You can have all the friends you want, Sweetie. You just have to keep it below kissing unless I approve, which is normal, and you’re ‘kosher’. Just like that. Now we’re going to leave and you’re not, and I do repeat, not, and one more time because you seem to be making bad decisions right now and you might need the extra ‘not’, not, going to see Ty until he earns the right to come back to Magiville. Don’t like it? You can have a kiss. If you’re still mad, I’ll give you whatever your heart desires, but that fool is going to get you robbed of your free will, or he’s going to get your mind wiped and he’ll have never existed to you in the first place.”
Twilight never broke eye contact. I didn’t need to see into her eyes to know that Ty was on borrowed time. I didn’t need to have Coffee Cup’s gift to know what the future held if Ty fucked around. I didn’t need half the brain cells I had to figure out that Twilight was drawing a line, and that sumbitch was covered in spikes, barbed wire, razor wire, flames, and a lot of magical traps that I couldn't disarm. I was fucked. I was so fucked, and I knew beyond common fucking sense that crossing that line into No Man’s Land was the Bad End.
“... Please don’t put your hands on me, Twilight. It makes you no better than Applejack.” I guilted shamelessly.
It worked. “... I’m sorry about that, but do you understand what I’m saying here, Jay?”
“Do you understand what I’m saying, Twilight?” I asked, getting the last shovelful of dirt out of my grave.
She mulled it over, taking her time with her response. “Give me one reason not to make you see what I see.”
“Anything after that would be a lie.” I replied softly.
“... That’s a good reason.” Twilight sighed. “Go wait outside. You owe me for today, and I’ll be collecting shortly.”
“I’d prefer-”
“I’m not asking, Jameson.” Twilight said curtly. “Leave before my patience wears out completely.”
“... You keep pushing, Twilight.” I shook my head and took my loss, passing Ty a glance before heading out the door.
I hated that my best bet for keeping my brother alive was walking out on him, but it was what it was, and shit sucked. I sat on the stoop outside and cooled, calculating my next step. The problem was that I couldn’t figure out an angle to work with the tools I had. My hand of cards was useless when Twilight put her foot down, and it’s not like it’d been working out in recent history, so I panicked, but it wasn’t a normal kind of panic. It wasn’t the shut-eye, can’t talk, can’t breathe kind of panic. No, it was an eyes-wide-open, time slides by on a pair of skates at a leisurely pace, and life crashes around you. In other words, I took my second step into super-sanity, and I didn’t even know it.
I blinked a couple of times and took my sunglasses off because they were hindering my sight, but when I looked around with my hand shading my eyes, I found the ache in my eyes to be worth the experience. I would cause permanent damage to my eyes if I didn’t wear my glasses for too long, so I put them back on and looked around some more. The coloured glass blocked out some of the odd things I was seeing, so it was a bit of a blessing, but it was… Odd, shall we say? You could describe it a thousand ways and every person’s interpretation would be a little different, but here goes.
From my short glimpse at the world around me, I could see the inner workings of the sparse grass that occasionally popped up in the cobblestone road. I could see the individual cells from easily over thirty feet away via a heads up display that magnified the plants to a microscopic level, and moving my eyes just slightly had me looking at an atom, and they do not resemble the Bohr-Sommerfeld model. They’re actually literal monkeys in a fucking barrel. No shit. The super-sanity filled in blanks for me, which is how I knew that I’d taken my second step in the first place, and the first thing was that I was apparently born schizophrenic, which I did not know. I knew I had anxiety problems, and the occasional mood swing made me go sullen for a little while, but schizophrenia? The only voices I’d ever knowingly heard came from my Flitch, but it did explain why I was so fucking paranoid, and it also explained why I heard random noises sometimes. I was hearing spirits knock around in the Ether and the occasional relative calling my name in a loved one’s voice. Shit wasn’t a problem in my life, but apparently it counted for something when it came to boarding the crazy train.
The second thing that pushed me up a notch was constant stress that got amplified by Ty, then fucking sextupled by Twilight, and not being able to see a path out hit me hard. It hit me hard enough for certain pieces of my puzzle to unravel and warp before they were crammed back into place. With a little hesitation, I dropped my sunglasses for a second to see if I was far enough to glimpse the future and my sight told me that I was going to be sitting when Twilight came out to collect me. I chose to stand for a while longer so I could see what else I could see, but the glasses barred a lot of my vision, and I wasn’t willing to take them off a third time.
I remained standing to do a little thinking, and the main thing on my mind (I could glean bits of information from my subconscious simultaneously) was that Twilight needed to be eating out of the palm of my hand, and I had a few new ways to get her there. When I was done thinking, I sat down and looked behind me to see Twilight opening the door just seconds after my ass made contact with the brick stoop.
“Have you had a chance to calm down, Sweetie?” Twilight asked tenderly.
“I have, but if you want to sleep in the same bed tonight, you’re keeping your hands to yourself.” I replied matter-of-factly.
She raised a brow. “You’re not going to kick me out of bed?”
“I assume you want something me-related as payment for not killing Ty.”
“You’re not wrong. I want you to make the gift you promised me when we first entered your shop.”
“It’s already done, I just haven’t convinced you to let me take you out on a date.” I replied quietly, still soaking in the extra dose of madness.
“That’s nice.” Twilight said warmly. “... Jay, look, I’m sorry for-”
“You’re not planning on changing, so save your breath.” I muttered sorrowfully, turning away from her and hanging my head, shaking it gently.
She sat next to me and tried to hold my hand, so I made eye contact and let her hold it for a second before letting go and attempting to make her let go. She didn’t. “Your brother’s going to get you killed, and I’m not okay with the fact that you’re okay with that.”
“That’s not up to you, Twilight. You can make yourself not love me just as easily as you can force me to love you.” I replied. “I don’t see why you haven’t just saved yourself the trouble of dealing with someone intent on swooping in and saving a wrecking ball every other day.” I actually understood why Twilight wanted me so badly, and it wasn’t her fault. We were just tied together by Fate and the bitch is crazy. I mean, the little filament I saw between Twilight and myself must have been one of Fate’s strings, otherwise super sanity is bullshit.
She gave me a look. “Jay, I wouldn’t trade my love for you for anything, and that means a lot. If you don’t want me to love you, say it now.”
I squeezed her hand and held my silence for a few moments, dragging it out as I played the ruse. “Only a fool turns down true love. You just make it hard to be wise a lot more than I’d like.”
Twilight squeezed my hand in turn. “I can’t help you if you don’t let me help, Jay.”
“You help when I don’t let you help anyway, Twilight. Even when I don’t say anything about anything, you’re already working on the next gift. I’ve told you before that you just do too much, Purps.”
“Jameson, you’re asking me to treat you below my standards-”
“So you’ll slap me, but it’s okay because you interfere with whatever you want?” I asked quietly.
“... I shouldn’t have done that, and I sincerely apologize, Jay. I… Jay, how else do I make you see reason? How else am I supposed to make you stop defying me?”
“You’re not supposed to dominate your spouse. Otherwise you just have a Human pet that doesn’t ruin your floors or usually shed all over the place.”
“... I love you, Jameson.”
“It’s hard to say right now, but I love you too, Twilight.”
She laid her head on my shoulder and teleported us onto the couch in her living room slash library and we sat for a few minutes, soaking in the silence as nothing happened. It was very nice that nothing was happening, but I wanted nothing to happen somewhere else, so I gave Twilight a kiss and bid her goodbye after an hour of quiet erection. During that hour, I’d been remembering the feeling of Twilight’s ass in my hands to keep them from wrapping around her throat and it had left me with its side effects.
With my mind a little wonky, I had to make my way somewhere. My first choice of people to turn to were both female, human, and could fall by Twilight’s hand, so I stopped by the liquor store and bought three bottles of bourbon for the price of one and a half because the guy assumed that I was gearing up for a party. When I told him that flaming shots were on the table, he had a laugh and encouraged me to be safer with my drinking habits. I never did actually mention anything about drinking said shots, but dude could think what he wanted.
I made my way back to my place, and when I got there, Pinkie was already in the back of my shop with a large metal bowl and a smile. “Hiya, Jay! I’m really sorry about what happened with Ty, but I’m sure that it’ll pan out from now on.”
I shook my head and hit the lights since I was sure that Pinkie could see in the dark so I could take my glasses off and The Sight hit me head on. I caught a glimpse of Max kissing Pinkie in the near future, so I made a mental note to ask about that while I glanced around at the spirits surrounding me. Some floated by in lackadaisical loops around my head while others stood around, but there were six in all. Each of them was someone I’d killed for some reason or other at some point in my past, so the friendly waves I got were a little confusing since I wasn’t crazy enough to know what other people’s motivations would be if I didn’t know them very well.
“Hey Pinks. Hey ghosts.” I said a bit blankly.
I got a few nods and Pinkie met me at one of my work tables, setting the bowl down as I uncapped a bottle of booze. “Only one of them can answer you at a time, so be patient. If some of them don’t want to talk to you, then don’t worry about it. They probably just joined a clan that won’t let them speak to their killer, and it’s not always a bad thing. It’s a bit of a mutual respect kind of thing.”
“Ah.” I looked at the sole woman in the group, but her face wasn’t one I remembered seeing. I’d say she was a pretty average looking young woman, but she looked nice with a smile. I remembered the only woman I ever knifed though, and she was the prosecutor in a case that got one of my big homies locked up for killing a cop when he was actually out of town. Shit was legitimate garbage and I struck out for him since he was one of my main male role models growing up. I remembered slitting the older woman’s throat and staring her in the eyes as I did it, and I remembered it well because she was the first person I’d killed with Flitch.
“We’ll talk another time. I’ve waited years for it. I can wait a little longer.” ‘Catherine’, whose real name no longer mattered, said kindly.
“... Yeah, it’s weird that I can’t sense any ill will coming from you.” I said slowly.
“Being dead is great. I mean, ghost sex? Un-be-lievable~” Catherine sighed
“So kill myself now?” I joked.
“Yes.” Catherine crooned, her voice turning seductive.
I turned to Pinkie. “She only wants me to commit suicide, right?”
“Yup.” Pinkie gave me an apologetic smile.
“Then cool… So we summoning Max?”
“Yup!” Pinkie smiled wider and pushed the bowl toward me.
“Mind if I ask what your relationship with Max is?” I inquired hesitantly.
Pinkie gave me a look. “I’m going to have to take you under my wing and teach you how to avoid looking into someone else’s future.”
“It’s my future that makes me ask.” I snorted.
She tilted her head and her eyes widened as she looked at the thing I’d seen from a different angle. “Oh! Well yeah, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to tell you that Max and I are involved.”
I blinked at her. “What?”
“I’m engaged to Max.” Pinkie gave me a blissful smile. “He’s such a sweetheart when he wants to be, and he’s so funny!”
I stared at Pinkie for a long, hard moment because I knew she wasn’t lying. She had no reason to, and she wouldn’t have anyway. No, I just had to deal with the fact that one of my favorite friends was dating the guy who made me. Made us. “Well that’s downright nifty.”
“Isn’t it, though?”
I nodded and poured half of the bottle into the bowl Pinkie had brought before dipping my left hand in it and lighting both my hand and the alcohol in the bowl on fire. It was uncomfortable and annoying to wait for the alcohol to burn out on its own, but when Max showed up with a calm smile and warm eyes, it was well worth it. We shook hands and Max made sure to numb my shit from the wrist down before he claimed the sacrifice, so it didn’t feel all that much worse than getting shanked in the forearm. It still sucked since I was missing my left hand at the moment, but if he didn’t accept the deal, then he was obligated to give it back.
“‘Sup, man?” I asked, ignoring the ache coming from my hand, or rather, the phantom ache that was making my knuckles itch.
“Wotcher, mate. I’m seeing that we’re here to parlay.” Maximus sighed.
“Next one will be a personal visit, I promise.” I gave him an apologetic smirk.
“Better be, otherwise I’m going to start thinking that you only want me for sex.”
“Got that one covered.” Pinkie chimed in, sounding oddly innocent.
He turned to Pinkie with a smile on his face and gave her a kiss that I’d seen a few minutes ago, parting just as I remembered as well. “You’re not always trying to sex my man muffin, Hug Bunny.”
Fucking ‘Hug Bunny’ gave him a new smile that I hadn’t seen from her yet. It was warmer than her usual one, a little erotic, and extremely reverent. “I know you’ve already figured out half of the mystic cipher.”
“It’s been a pretty fun puzzle, but that makes me ask why you decided to join a puzzlemaker when he summoned me.” Max asked, his voice soft and considerate, but firm.
Pinkie hugged him, and I swear her arms were glowing with the power of her squish. “Lobbying for a friend isn’t a bad thing, Cinder Bear.”
The Torch Bearer hugged her back and said, “I’ll deny every ultimately insignificant offer he’ll give me, Pinkie. A hand isn’t exactly Elric-ing it, you know?”
She leaned away from him but stayed nice and close. “You know I think that the tolls are heavier than they should be.”
“People have paid so much more for so much less, Pinkie-”
The wife of Maxdamn that guy jammed a finger in his face because she apparently had that privilege. “You’ve said it before that you don’t value Ty’s life, so what would saving it matter to you!? It should have been less than a hangnail, but you’re just being petty!”
“Pinkie, I want that soul in a jar, but I can’t just reap it, so no, I’m not going to save it.. When Ty makes the mistake I know he’s going to make and someone gets fucked up, don’t pray to me for shit. Anyone’s best best is to give up a hand so that he doesn’t accumulate any more time in Hell.”
“Not happening. Thanks for your time, but if you’re going to say no to saving my brother, then I’m burning a gallon of moonshine.” I said softly.
“... Cheeky little cunt, aren’t we?” Max grunted. “Soulshine bullshit. Why are you giving up your own fucking soul for someone who wouldn’t even give up a second finger for you?”
“... Seriously?” I asked.
“Uh, yeah. Ty keeps you around because you being so smart usually leads to a pay off. Him being a big dicked fuckboi means that he’s going to be a Harem King, and that subsequently means that he doesn’t need you. You’re getting ditched, and soon.”
“Yeah, thanks for shooting me in the dick, man. ‘Preciate it.” I muttered saltily.
Max shrugged. “What can I do? I want him dead, you want him alive, and Pinkie wants you happy, but you guys only have two votes and my vote counts as three.”
I glared at him, a little pissed that me giving up one of my favorite hands didn’t count as a worthy sacrifice to him, but I was more pissed that I knew he was right. As much as I loved Ty, the Ruler of the Universe was telling me that he didn’t like me as much as I liked him. It rather sucked, to be honest with you, but what could I do about it? What further way could I show Ty that I was worthy of being loved as I loved him? My loyalty to him wouldn’t allow me to forsake him, but how far was I willing to go for someone who wasn’t willing to go the extra mile for me? I had to take a long, hard look at what life had been so far, and honestly? It was a series of Ty fucking up and me fixing his mistakes, or him overreacting when I slipped up. There were a lot of moments where he did something I told him not to do, begged him to be smarter than a box of rocks, but now? I knew that he’d never listened to me because he never really cared, and that…
“... Can you make sure he gets left alone? Dies of old age?” I asked quietly.
“No.” Max said bluntly.
“Could you-”
“No.”
“What about-”
“No.”
“Now you’re just being rude.” I said.
“Take your hand back and see me over a beer or something.” Max snapped and I was feeling with my left hand again, and then he disappeared before my eyes.
Pinkie came over to give me a hug and I hugged her back, feeling better knowing that I wasn’t alone in what was going on. I didn’t know how involved Pinkie was, but she’d put forth effort in helping me get what I wanted, so I showed her some appreciation. “Thanks for trying, Pinks.”
She sighed and let me go, so I let her go in turn. “It’s just a shame that he’s not even considering it… I mean, I know I’m not the prettiest of his wives, but I thought he’d listen to me…” Pinkie shook her head sadly.
I placed my hand on her shoulder. “It’s not like he wasn’t dead set on it, Pinkie. It’s evidently just how shit’s gonna be and there’s nothing we can do about it, so why fuss?” I managed.
Pinkie’s hair started falling straight, leaving her with curly, wavy locks that actually looked pretty damn good on her. “Blood Magic doesn’t solve everything, Black Magic will get you killed, and the other, dark paths of power are going to get you hurt, Jay. It’s for the best if you don’t let the strings pull you apart when it happens.”
I glared at her. “So you’re telling me to just accept the fact that my brother may or may not even be alive right now?”
Pinkie gave me a sad look. “Why don’t we go and see Coffee Cup for a cup of coffee?”
“She lets Daisy Dutchy pick up the weekend hours, Pinkie.”
“I meant at her house. She considers you a friend, and she’s a friend of mine, so I wouldn’t mind seeing her at the moment. Maybe having your two super sane friends around will help you adjust to the malcontent inside?” Pinkie suggested reasonably.
“... I kinda just wanna work, Pinkie.”
She held my hand and started backing out of the shop. “You’ll feel better if you come with me. Pinkie Promise.”
I couldn’t help but bark out a harsh chuckle at that, but Pinkie just gave me a tender, caring smile that made me follow her at a reasonable pace. She didn’t let go of my hand as we walked and occasionally glanced at me and made a comment about something she liked or something she appreciated the day, giving me reasons to try and be positive, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Walking along with Pinkie to Coffee Cup’s modest duplex was nice, I guess, but I was really feeling the ten millimeter Q-tip at the moment, and I doubted that it was going to subside at the given rate things were going. No, I just had to be miserable for a little bit as I chewed on the fact that my brother didn’t love me that much, he was as good as dead, and there was nothing I could do about it. Life had slapped me pretty fucking hard, and it was even harder to not be depressed, so I didn’t try.
When Pinkie and I arrived at Coffee’s place, the woman herself answered her door because no one else was going to. “Pinkie? Jay? What brings you two over?”
“Jay just got some really bad news and he could use some help from his friends to cheer him up.” Pinkie said, her tone upbeat, but not overly happy.
Coffee gave me a delicate smile. “Your aura does seem like you need a stiff drink.”
“I’d rather have a nap.” I sighed.
“Nope. You can have a hot toddy though.” Coffee offered.
“I’d rather have a hot piece of lead, but yeah, tea works too.” I gave her a smile and she frowned.
“I don’t understand what that’s supposed to mean, but it worries me, Jay.” Coffee said. “Why don’t you come in and have a seat?”
I nodded and followed Pinkie as they lead the way inside, and after ten minutes, Coffee had some tea ready and some coffee being prepared. We talked about what had gone down with Twilight and Ty, though I knew Pinkie was already well aware of what happened. Coffee was shocked to learn that Twilight would openly threaten a citizen and Pinkie was shocked that she didn’t just kill Ty, though she knew that the next time would be the last time if there were any possible trespasses. The mood was pretty somber, and Pinkie’s mild jokes made Coffee feel better, but my fake laughs only carried so much weight in a room with two people who were more perceptive than all others. I mean, Coffee could see my aura and Pinkie was apparently clairvoyant like I was (kinda), so I didn’t doubt that she refused to let me go home alone because she’d seen that I was ready to end it.
I ended up staying the night at Pinkie’s after we picked some clothes up from my place, but when morning came, she had to go to her shop and take care of business. I knew that I was probably being looked for as I started packing up, but I figured that I was going to have as much as I needed when I made my way out of Magiville. It barely took me thirty minutes to fill my newly bought bag with spare changes of clothes, supplies, and food while taking my old back and slinging it on my shoulders. I grabbed my portable ATD and with that, I was off on my own.
Kinda.