Here I am, standing in front of an enormous apple tree. Applejack stood next to me, apparently about to teach me how to do it from the way she was turning around to face the opposite direction.
"Alright, the key is in the hooves, or feet, at the moment of impact." Applejack raised up on her front legs and bucked hard into the tree. In one motion the tree shuddered and tons of apples came falling out of the tree. "Hit too hard, and you'll hurt yourself, but if you hit too soft you'll not knock any of 'em out of there." She flung the basket onto her back and walked to the next tree. Big Macintosh painted a white "X" on the base of the trunk, which I assume was for me.
"Ready to try, partner?" She asked me. I raised one foot up, knee to my chest as I kicked hard against the tree, hoping to knock down at least a few apples on my first try.
Wow, I am an idiot.
"Ow!" I felt a shockwave of pain rocket through my leg as my foot connected to the tree hard. I guess I hit the tree too hard as I felt the pain begin to subside. Applejack tried to stifle a giggle as I put my foot down onto the grass when it finally stopped hurting. I tried again, this time sending my leg into the side of the tree with less force. As it hit I felt no pain, but the tree only shook slightly with only a few apples falling out.
"Well, ya'll didn't do too bad for a first time." Applejack said matter-of-factly. "But you need a little more-" I didn't let her finish. I kicked the tree again, this time with my right leg, and slammed it into the tree. More apples fell out, but only a few. However, it was a lot more than the last attempt.
"How's that for a first time?" I said, now looking at the half empty apple tree. It was exhausting, though. For one, ponies were a lot stronger than humans it seemed, and I couldn't shift all my weight into a kick without toppling over. Also, Applejack had four legs, where I only had two. Unless I got down on my arms and tried bucking like she did, I wasn't going to be as good.
Also, it would look rather ridiculous.
"Not bad, not bad." Applejack nodded. "Ya only got two legs, so ya can't buck, but still yer a bit stronger than I thought ya'll were." She smiled. "Ya wanna just put the fallen apples in the baskets?" She kicked a basket over to me. It wasn't as big as it looked, I could easily hold it in one hand. I looked up at the trees, which actually weren't that high. In fact, they reminded me of the trees that I used to climb as a kid. These trees were actually shorter in a way.
Then it hit me.
I grabbed the basket and took off running towards a tree.
"Wait! Don't-" I didn't listen to her, I jumped up and grabbed a branch and hauled myself up. Fifty apples were left in the tree. Not a lot, but enough to fill the basket. I grabbed the tree branches and shook them violently, knocking the apples out and into the basket. Granted I missed a few, but the majority hit their mark. Applejack stood under the tree, her mouth gaping open in astonishment as I shook the tree clean.
"Still not bad for a first time?" I yelled from the top of the tree as I scanned the landscape for the nearest one. Before I found my target I let the basket fall and land on the ground beneath me. "Aha!" I climbed down to the firmest branch and darted across it. With one motion I jumped from the edge of the branch and grabbed the top of the tree, coming to a stop on the lowest branch.
"How in tarnation did you do that?" Applejack yelled up to me.
"One advantage to being a human, I suppose." I yelled back. "Toss me another basket, would ya?" I commanded with authority from atop the tree. This was really fun. I felt like I was getting to her, though.
The first hint came when the basket came rocketing towards my head. I barely managed to grab it before I fell out of the tree.
"What was that for, you jerk?!" I snapped at her.
"To distract ya'll." She kicked the tree and a ton of apples came pouring out. "I can't have a funny lookin' guy showin' me up on ma own farm." She said with a smug grin. "Though I gotta admit, you sure do look cute." She smiled.
I picked myself up off the ground, dusting off the dirt and grass, and climbed back up into the tree.
"Stupid pony..." I put my hat back on and went back to work.
And did she really just call me cute?