When Rarity met-up with Applejack at Barnyard Bargains, it was clear she had something to say but Applejack had something to do. She’d be able to talk to her friend in just a little bit, and maybe hear an explanation for the mariachi band heard even faintly as far as the farm. First, though, she had something to take care of.
“Hold that thought, Rares. I gotta take care of something.”
“Of course, sugarcube.”
Applejack turned away and gave her head a little shake. She didn’t quite know if it was just having her own diminutive turned on her like that, or just hearing it said with a faux-Canterlot accent that seemed to bother her a little.
She didn’t have time to worry about it though, because she had things to do, places to be, ponies to see. Yes, was Applejack just an important highfalutin pony? She didn’t spot her target immediately, but somepony was there who might be able to help.
“Well, hey there, Plastic!” She called to one of the bagcolts waiting patiently at the end of a checkout. It seemed there was a small hold up as Hugh Jelly brought out jars upon jars of copper bits from his saddle. All around the stallion, eyes filled with something that Twilight definitely would not approve of.
Plastic did a take between the would-be customer and Applejack. This was a young stallion that took the awkwardness of puberty and threatened to reach a state of apotheosis with it. Pimples, upper-lip fuzz that wasn’t even the little mustache that could, not that many stallions ever progressed much further and therefore didn’t bother. “Uh, huh, h-hey, Applejack.” And a voice that cracked at least a dozen times over six syllables, including stuttering.
Applejack approached with Rarity close on her heel. “Plastic, where’s yer boss?”
“Mmm-m-mr. Rich is out this moment, Applejack.” He looked briefly thoughtful. “M-m-my uncle i-is still here though.”
“His uncle is Filthy’s right hoof mare,” Applejack told Rarity. She corrected herself, “Stallion.” She seemed to know exactly where to find this stallion, giving a nod to Plastic as she trotted off. “Thank ya, Plastic!”
“A-a-a-a-a-” I’m sure this’ll end at some point. “-a-a-” Any second now. “-anytime, A-” Oh for goodness sake. “-applejack!”
“Real stud farm around here, actually,” Applejack commented to Rarity, as soon as the two were sufficient steps away.
Rarity chided her, “Why, Applejack, you’re not the type of mare that thinks that anypony that isn’t a Guard needs a princess in charge, do you?”
Applejack did a real quick backtrack. “F’course not! It’s real nice to see actually. Everypony thinks you couldn’t get a buncha colts in a room to work together unless they already had ranks to tell ‘em who’s boss.” She shook her head. “No, nah, I ain’t one of those kinda gals.”
“How very cosmopolitan of you, sugarcube.”
“I think it’s really impressive what Filthy has done with all this colt power. Buncha honest, nice and likeable co- oh! Hey there, Sleaze Bag!”
Rarity was not ready for this one-eighty turn.
“Aaaah, yes, Applejack.”
Here was a stallion, if she were to be honest, that really looked like a sleaze. She remembered the Manehatten grifter during her little outing with Pinkie and Maud, but this stallion blew him out of the water. Everything that cannon-stealing snot had, thin mustache, greased back hair, weaselly face and thin body, but ''more''. Even his voice positively dripped with oil.
"Rarity, this here is Sleaze Bag, Dirt Bag's son. His pops and my pops did business back in the day, bringing the best kind of soil to the farm that made Sweet Apple Acres what it is today."
"Ah, yes. But now my father is retired and my older brother runs the business. Expanded it to more, eh, potent fertilizer."
"He's talkin' 'bout manure."
Rarity cringed. "Right. Wait- what's your older brother's name?"
Applejack coughed. "Well, Rarity, we just call him Mister Bag."
"Right."
"So, hey, Sleaze, how's the rest of your family? How's your little brother doin'?"
"Well, yes, ah, Scum Bag might just be the second doctor in the family. Not a real medical doctor like my sister, but he's studying swamp biology."
"Hold on." Rarity raised her hoof a bit. "Your sister, is she the gynecologists at Ponyville General?"
"Ah, yes. I guess it makes sense that you would know her."
"Quite. And now I think I'm starting to figure out what the first initial of her name stands for."
Sleaze Bag shook his head. "She likes to pretend it means 'Doctor', yes."
The heavy cart pulled against her as she walked, much to Applejack's satisfaction. The part she had been waiting for, a great big engine block, was there even without Filthy and Sleaze had been fair in his dealings selling it to her. He had to be, because a stallion that looked, sounded and was named like him had only his reputation. Right now, though, she wasn't thinking about slimy colts. She was doing her best imitation of her brother, chewing slowly on the wheat grass.
"You and Pinkie. Seriously?"
"Quite. Well, I am. Serious, that it. It's difficult to tell with her."
"Candlelit dinner and all that?"
"Indeed. All that."
"And you really like all that? Even with the singin' about your flank?"
"Applejack, how often do you think I get serenaded by moonlight beneath my bedroom window?"
"Er-"
"Not very much at all, let me tell you."
"Point taken. So you expect you and her are gonna go on a second date?"
In a startling show of grace, Rarity crossed her front legs in a pensive gesture, looking to the side, while still keeping pace with Applejack. "I don't know. Pinkie Pie has made it quite clear how variable her feelings are. However-" She turned forwards, smirking then. "-I wouldn't say no."
Applejack clucked her tongue as she pushed her hat up. "And here I am just realizing we gave her permission to do that sorta thing to all of us."
"Hoping for a country music love ballad, sugarcube? Cranky's band is quite adaptable, you know."
"I'm-a hafta start callin' you 'darlin''."
"And I'm going to have to start loving that."
"Ri- oh, hey, speak o' the draconequus and he will come, there's our little cotton candy Casahoova now."
"Blast, that's what I should've made her pet- oh, hello there, honeybun dear!"
Pinkie Pie stopped short as she stepped out the door, her head spinning fast enough to crack her voluminous hair. One poor pony coming behind her squawked as it smacked him in the face and he had to stumble back with a mouth full of pink fluff.
"Not like this!" Pokey cried as he stumbled away. This gave the mares brief pause but he seemed to be alright, muttering though he was of drowning in fuchsia fuzz. Awfully poetic, that Pokey.
"Hey girls!" Pinkie responded, though her voice was a bit muffled by the bag strap in her mouth.
"Hey there, Pinkie." Applejack nodded in general greeting and then to the bag. "Watchu got there?"
"What I got where?"
"In your mouth, honeybun." Rarity pointed at said bag before looking up. "Going to spice up our next get together?" She asked while reading the sign up behind Pinkie. "This is Berry's place of business."
"Oh, this. It's a gift."
"Oh?" Rarity cooed with curiosity, leaning forward. "Ooooh?" Well, more like draping herself over Pinkie.
"Anypony in particular, sugar?" Applejack asked while eyeballing Rarity's lurid display. She was pulling Pinkie's mane back into a ponytail, trying in vain to get the hair directly on top of her head to flatten. Pinkie Pie carried on like it were nothing.
She shook her head, making Rarity grunt in frustration. "I can't say." She looked more directly at Applejack. "It's a secret, sshhh-" She put the edge of her hooves to her lips. "I'll see you girls later!"
She slipped on past Applejack, half bouncing in her trot with a bag in her mouth. Both her friends watched her go with their own expressions. Applejack watched her with a quirked brow.
"Now, what in the world do you suppose that was about?"
Rarity, for her part, reached out with desperate futility. "No-oh-ho! Come back, my burning hunk of pink butch!"
Applejack cringed. "Gosh darnit, Rarity, have some of that class of yers."
Rarity shot a pointed look at Applejack, opening her mouth to retort before stopping. Her look turned appraising, her frown a thoughtful sort. "Why, you're quite the mans' mare yourself, Applejack. Have you ever considered flannel?"
Applejack whickered. "I think I liked it better when you had us all on in the friendzone. What ever happened to that?"
It was without Rarity that Applejack made her way back home. The other mare was being a right pain in the hoof at the moment. She needed to find some pants and stuff it, whatever it was, in there and keep it there! It was getting close to evening and Applejack was looking forward to putting whatever this craziness with Pinkie Pie behind her until tomorrow.
"Oh fer land's sake."
Speak of the draconequus and he will come, or already be there when you arrive in this case. Applejack shook her head at what she saw through the front window. There was nothing to do but face the music-
Ah, gee, ah hope not. I don't really like burro music, nothin' 'gainst 'em.
"Howdy, everypony, I'm back." Applejack huffed and frowned as she came in through the front door, eyes flickering over her family all crowded here in the front room. "And a howdy to you too, Pinkie. What're you up to?"
Granny hefted a bottle- wazzat triple sec? Eeyup. Not the bottle Applejack got for her, this was fresh. "Pinkie here is bein' a right proper gentlemare and askin' me permission to be askin' you out, Applejack."
Applejack looked between Granny and the grinning pink mare. Then the other two, also standing bemusedly to the side, giggling. Well, Apple Bloom giggled, Big Mac giggled on the inside. Smart flanked pair of punks, the both of them.
Back to Granny and Pinkie. "Do I get a say in this?"
Pinkie ducked out of sight and Applejack felt her close the short distance between them via a path somehow shorter than a straight one.
Pinkie popped right back in front of Applejack, a small smile on her face that counted as restrained on her. "Of course, you silly pony! So, you wanna go for a walk?"
Applejack popped a brow up like only she could. "Just a walk?" And hopefully one on relatively real paths and not whatever Pinkie trotted on.
"Just a walk to see the sunset, maybe a chat."
"No mariachi band?"
Pinkie's restraint broke and her grin widened. "Do you want there to be a mariachi band?"
"Eenope."
"Then noperoni!"
Applejack huffed, tilting her hat and smiling softly herself. "Then that sounds darn tootin' lovely."
As the two trotted off, her family watched her go, grinning with barely contained catcalls of sorts. In fact, Big Mac couldn't hold himself back any longer and opened his mouth.
"Have 'er home by dinner!" Granny Smith crowed. Then, after a moment's thought, more seriously said, "And then stay for dinner!"
Big Mac shuffled on his hooves, trying to think of a new line. Something did come to him then, and he moved for another go.
"Now don't get too fresh with mah sister, ya hear!?" Apple Bloom called. "Or we's gonna hafta have ourselves a pitchfork weddin'!"
Bic Mac swayed side to side. Then he finally nodded and said, "Eeyup!"
"Really, that's all you can think of?"
"C'mon, Big Mac, ya can do better than that!"
Applejack walked shoulder to shoulder with Pinkie Pie. The two of them said nothing, just quietly trotting through the apple orchard, looking around the cultivated trees. It was a calm and placid path they took through the farmland, not saying a word to each other and just enjoying another pony's presence without any greater activity than walking.
And it was absolutely freaking Applejack out.
"Say, Pinkie, you got anything planned?"
"Yep yep yep!"
"Huh, well, I was expectin' ya to be coy about it. What is it ya got planned, sugarcube?"
"Hold on a second, Applepie."
Applejack flinched in surprise at the pet name, remembering it bringing a blush to her face. She watched as Pinkie Pie hopped and skipped off the trail and behind a tree too thin to hide her front half. Applejack felt it in her hooves and her second heart as Pinkie Pie's body stretched across unseen paths.
Earth pony magic, this was the kinda thing Twilight didn't understand, though she might begin to all things considered. Not that Applejack understood Pinkie's particular mastery anymore than Rarity could Twilight's. Or maybe it was more like Fluttershy watching Rainbow Dash fly.
Or was it like Rainbow Dash watching Fluttershy talk to animals and wondering how a pegasus's magic came to this?
Pinkie rustled behind the tree and off who knows where else, until she finally pulled back out with a picnic basket in her teeth. She pronked on back to the path, stopping with a split grin on her face as she held the handle.
"Watchu t'inkin' ab'ut?"
"Uh." Applejack thought about it. "Magic, I guess."
Pinkie dropped the basket into her hoof and arched a brow. "Am I on a walk with Twilight Jackle now?"
Twilight Jackle snorted. "Har har, Pinkie. Ya know, one of these days, one of us is gonna hafta to teach her how to use her second heart and I dunno which of us is more qualified."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I know a few tricks, like my buckin' and knowin' where to put the apple trees so they grow just right, but yer on a whole 'nother level."
Pinkie flipped a bit of her mane. "I am awesome, aren't I?"
"Hey now, reign it in, er, Rainbow Pie."
Rainbow Pie giggled, covering her mouth. Then she sighed, looking at the ground. "You're right though. You know all the normal earth pony magic. I'd almost think I was some kinda super powered mutant if it weren't for Maud."
"Maud is not exactly a disqualifying factor for that."
"She has all my magic and normal earth pony magic too."
"Well, hey now, Pinkie. I can still feel what yer doin', even if I don't really right know how."
Pinkie looked up and smiled, and Applejack felt relief. "You're right, my magic is just different. But hey, maybe we should have Maud teach Twilight since she knows all the magic."
Applejack followed Pinkie along as she started walking again. "You know what, I think I feel pretty comfortable passin' the buck along this time around."
"Ah, but she's still out getting her rocktorate."
"Huh."
"Hey, how come we never told Twilight about earth pony magic?"
"Uh, well, huh. Well, I guess weren't ever relevant. 'Cept maybe that time she was tryin' to study your Pinkie Sense."
Pinkie sighed wistfully "Yeah, that was a fun day."
Applejack cocked a brow. "You ever think that weren't a bit mean?"
"Well, she sorta strapped me to one of her kooky machines in her lab and started treating me like a experiment, so I thought I'd mess with her a little. Didn't really see that hydra coming though. Why didn't she teleport?"
"You ever think we mess with each other too often?"
Pinkie raised a hoof in a shrug.
Applejack grunted. "Well, anyway- I guess after she got them wings, it didn't really occur to me right away that she had a second heart too. I guess now it's plenty relevant now, ain't it?"
"Guess so, huh."
"So, anywho, Pinkie, where're we going?"
Pinkie looked back at her basket. "Oh! I was hoping you could show me where to go!"
"Huh?"
"Well, I talked to Granny Smith, and she agreed to postpone dinner till an hour and a half after dark."
"It'll be dark pretty soon."
"Yeah, so, I got this basket fulla appetizers to snack on and make us more hungry."
"You make those yourself?"
Then Pinkie's tone just dropped. Something of a pensive if playful murmur. "I made them just for you, Applejack."
"Thankya ki- wha?" Applejack did a double take at the shift in Pinkie's demeanor. Then her body went as rigid as it could while still walking when Pinkie drew herself even closer to Applejack. Her head went under Applejack's chin and rubbed against the bottom. Her hair-
-just like ma's!
Pinkie spoke in a soft, low murmur. "And then you can take me your favorite hilltop and we can watch the stars."
As Applejack's regular heart hammered in her chest and she looked down at Pinkie, thinking about what'd be like to make an honest mare out of her, one other thought floated to the top.
Oh boy, it's gonna be a looong evenin'.