Darkness surrounded my being, as I floated into an abyss of nothing. I saw occasional flashes of colors, and with each one a feeling of longing or hatred. A flash of light purple, I feel love. A flash of dark blue, I feel pride and protective regret. A flash of black spots (which was hard to see) I see red and heated rage. My body floating along between the clashes of washed up memories dragged further and further down. I lie there, looking up as even the darkness began to blur. Closing my eyes I give in to the death that rapped me. Well that was the plan until I fell into a loud memory.
The memory sets inside a cottage, back when we home hopped. We were currently living alongside my uncle berry cider. And while we were the memories starts with us in the living room, the fireplace lit the keep out the winter cold. There my uncle slept in his rocking chair while a smaller version of me and my younger brother sat next to each other as we listen to my mother end another hearth's warming tale.
“ aww man if that were me I'd beat him up.” said astro swinging his hooves frantically at what he thought fighting was.
“ ya can't just beat up everypony astro.” mini me remarked proudly.
“ well then what would yoooooou do?” asked astro.
I thought seemed to ponder this for a short moment before answering.
“ I think i'd… show them up, ya know to show ‘em I'm better than they are!” I proclaimed.
My mother laughed wholeheartedly as she watched us bicker. A hoof to her muzzle in politeness, she shushed us; summoning our attention.
“hush or you'll wake your uncle.” she said calmly,
“ besides that you both have the wrong idea. Think about it like this. Sure rudolph could have beat up his friends or showed them that he was special but do you think the old leader Nicolas would have picked him? He was chosen not only because he could do a great job, but because of his kind heart. Never forget that.” my mother picked up astro to nuzzle his main down while ushering us to bed.
“ never forget what?” I asked a yawn escaping my light blue muzzle.
“ never forget, that no matter the path you walk is dark or light that both will eventually Intertwine, and that when the time is right you will learn to walk the gray paths just as comfortably.”
I giggled, “ that doesn't make sense mama”
The world around me fades to darkness once again as I hear her soft voice speak once more.
“ it will in due time…”
As the darkness shrouds my vision once more cracks of light burst through what seemed the ever endless darkness and began to stream betwixt the dreams and memories. I started to feel through my senses again. I could feel the ground beneath me hard. I could smell the air of daisies and pinecones. My eyes took longer but eventually I could see and I awoke in a cave. To my left the exit and what looked like a pool of water. I shifted to my right to see a sleeping alpha timberwolf. The very same who spared me.
The moments that transpired afterwards were moments of gold. I spent the rest of my fillyhood with the wolves. Learning their trades, skills and secrets. I learned so much from them that by the time I was an adult I was considered a good replacement for the alpha. He couldn't seem to find a mate so he sortof adopted me instead. I began to love the pack that surrounded me. And with them we created so many memories.Some good, some bad,some not worth mentioning but all would be embedded within me forever. They were sad when I told them I must leave, the old alpha laid his ears back in anger and argued with me to keep me. But I could not stay, and as such Ieft to sleep my last day in the forest on the outskirts of the pack grounds.
The moon shone as unforgiving as the night I caved under its counterpart, the ever shining sun. My nose wet with dew from an evening graze, and my eyes from my sadness I laid down beneath it's gaze the evening breeze cooling my now thick fur. I turned my head to the side and flicked my ear back at the rustling of the wind downward from me.
“ what is it great one?” I asked the alpha
I heard a wolf is chuckle that warmed my being against the cold fall night.
“I fear I might have raised you better than expected.”he walked over to me silently before sitting down. His tree bark old and decaying brought new pricks to my eyes as the thought of me returning to a world without him edged towards me.
“ I thank you for all you have given and taught me.”
“yes yes you have said this so much today that I wish I hadn't taught you to speak our tongue.”
I smiled at that, strangle enough. It was silent for about two minutes before he spoke again, his voice wary and low.
“I regret teaching you all I did.” I growled at that
“ teaching me or not it does not change my decision.” laying my ears back to further establish my displeasure.
“ yes I know, but I feel as if I've help destroy you.”
To this my anger subsided and I turned to him.
“wh-what do you mean?”
“this world is not perfect, as much as we’d like we cannot destroy all its evil. And as such as a young pup you were scared with the eternal burns of darkness, seeded in you to fester and grow into the purest of darkness. Hatred. I have given you the tools and skills you would need to set out on this adventure, but for the life of me I couldn't understand why I felt an ache at my core every time you succeeded. Then I realized it was because of what I was making you. You are now an alpha wolf to any wolf's standard, but I don't think your mother would have wanted you to become a cold killing machine. And for me the wise wolf in this pack to have helped you blindly, neigh, willingly is unforgivable on my part. I don't however regret you, my little one for you are the only one to form your life.” His eyes closed in sadness, he smiled at the stars before turning towards me. He looked at peace and if he were to die today there would be no regrets. I was speechless for a moment.
“ Alpha I… I dunno what to say to that.”
“Don't then. Just accept this along with these next few words I give you. Little no bark you have shown great honor respect and courage through your many years as a member of the winter pack. It is with the highest of sorrow and pleasure that I now deem you worthy of warrior status and permit you honorary leave of this wolf pack so that you may one day return to us no longer as little no bark, but as lylic wolfsbane. A name both poisoning and deadly as it is classy and refined. Arise dearest warrior into your new title and go forth into your new future.” I jumped upon the alpha as he finished his speech. Nuzzling and holding him dear I did what I tried not to in the beginning and cried. I did not want to leave him or the pack. Leaving the pack was the hardest thing I had ever done, my heart ached tremendously and my hooves wished to disobey me as I continued outward following the scent of ponies. I kept this pain with me the entire way, it gave me another reason to hunt down the changelings. And for every small or large pain yet to come I'd store it only to give back to them. This motivated my movement as I ventured on.
I kept walking until I came to a bridge. Not to far from that lay a cottage. My curiosity peaked I walked to it. Stopping at the door