S3 Chapter 2: Dawn of the Pink
-Xavier's Recap-
There was a lot of talk on the train back home, with Twilight being worried about failing a test and all. Frankly, I wasn't really all that worried, so I kept kicking Spike's ass in Smash Bros as we waited. I was basically waiting to make my 'I told you so' speech to Twilight, seeing as I knew Celestia wouldn't kick her to the curb for passing on the 'save the day' torch. I got some comments too about punching Sombra in the face as well when Luna noticed my new trophy dangling from my neck. Rainbow Brag wouldn't shut up about it as she went on and on about how awesome it was. Of course my head couldn't help but grow three times regular size that moment, but alas, I had to deflate it and stay the humble human I was. Truth be told, I thought I was going to die, but seeing that I was nearing Sombra who solidified himself, I decided to give him one last 'fuck you' before needing to be scraped from the ground. For a moment I forgot that my chick had my back.
You know when a kid has nightmares and end up going to their parents' room to sleep with them? Yeah, Rainbow's the mom, I'm the dad, and Twilight's the child. She's been having a few nightmares since we came back from the Crystal Empire, and each time she did, she beelined it straight to my home. Sometimes, she teleported, which didn't always end well. Often Trae, Jack or Jeff would be dropping the shaken mare in my room before going back to sleep. Needless to say, I asked Luna for help since this was her thing. Good news, she was able to help a little. Bad news, she couldn't help much. What happened in Twilight's dream seemed to unnerve her quite a bit as well. One thing is sure, she wouldn't speak of it for some reason. Thanks for the help, Luna... NOT!!! Either way I couldn't think of much to do but allow her to sanctuary on my bed. At least she's normal by day.
-End of Recap-
I woke up from being repeatedly poked by a hesitant yet gentle hoof poke and the scent of cherry blossoms. Opening an eye, I was met with two blue pools, separated by yellow. "Good morning Xavier." I had forgotten that Flutterbutt had stayed in my room with me overnight.
I sat up while running a hand through my hair when I realized that it was that time to have my hair shaved again. Looking at the time, it was 10:00 am. I silently thanked God that Twilight Naggle had other things to do besides nag me for oversleeping. Or had she finally accepted my laxed lifestyle? "Hey Flutters. You seen bro around?"
"No... I think he stayed a night at his fillyfriends'." She said.
Known fact, bro and I cut each other's hair. I don't cut my own unless I'm going for a buzz cut. I'd only feel that way during the Summer. You should've been there when I first shaved my head like that. Nopony could look me in the eye but Twilight and Rainbow. Both had me go to the hospital later on to see if I had a disease or not. Fluttershy cried, Pinkie laughed, and Rarity stayed away from me like I was a disease and Applejack hid behind Jack as he laughed at the others. I had to fill them all in on human hairstyles and reassure them that they'd grow back within a week or two in which Jack joked that it would after my chemotherapy, throwing Twi and Dash into further panic and earning him a heavy slap upside his head.
But back to the point, I decided my hair could wait a little longer. The girls hate it when its cut super short, so I'll make them panic again next year. After breakfast which consisted of nothing but toast and cereal, I went to check on the list of requests. I figured if I didn't have any requests to do, I could go free running again. I was still working on getting my cardio back on track and I wasn't done yet. Grabbing my headphones on the way out, I checked the list. An odd thing I saw was Brianna's name showing up to pet sit Pinkie's toothless gator. As it turned out, no one needed me today, so I opened up my front door like Shrek on a good day to began my free running. Jack was waiting for me outside.
"Yo."
"Sup?"
"Ready?"
"Yeah."
"Race to Sugarcube Corner?"
"Hell yeah."
And so we started running. However, upon our first turn, we crossed an unexpected sight which was an army of Pinkie Pies. We both ended up staring at the thirty-something Pinkie Pie's all doing random things, such as hopping around, bouncing around, rolling around, hanging around, one of them was lying down like someone died. I turned to Jack with a hand up.
"Slap my hand please."
"Why?"
"Just do it..." I demanded.
He did. "Okay now what?"
"Thanks for tagging me out." I said before heading home.
"...Wat?"
-Jack's POV-
As I watched Xavier leave, I realized the mistake I had made. I've walked straight into an issue I had no idea on how to handle. Turning around, I noticed all but one of the Pinkie Pies were staring straight at me. Giving Xavier the bird in my head, I mustered up whatever courage I could and put on a nervous smile.
"Heya girls."
"HI JACK!" they all said.
"So... what are all of you uh... Pinkies doing out on this fine day?"
"HAVING FUN!!!" They all said in unison.
I can see that. He watched them all bounce around. They seemed so energetic. But then again, an idea hit me.
"Hey girls. I wonder if you're interested in doing something fun with me?" This stopped them in their tracks again, a few stopped in mid air. Not gonna ask. "Who wants to go parkouring?!?"
Thirty minutes later...
-Xavier's PoV-
Dash and I were hanging out near town square after the Pinkies ruined her chillaxation at the lake. She had filled me in on everything Pinkie since yesterday, from how she had exhausted herself trying to have fun with everyone, to how her plans with her friends overlapped each other. Didn't take a rocket scientist to find out why there are so many Pinkies, but the question is how. I didn't think much of it because there was always one answer that made sense of it all:
"Magic."
"Yeah. That's healthy thinking. That's your guess for everything that happens." Rainbow said.
"Only with things that happens that I can't explain anyway. What else would it be?"
"Twilight said something about a mirror pool." Rainbow scratched her head.
"Which is a magical pool that apparently creates duplicates of the user using magic." I said, proving my point further.
"Whatever... Two Pinkies are one too many this world can handle let alone, like, thirty of them! I mean, look!" Dash pointed a hoof in the distance. We saw Jack leading an army of Pinkies on the rooftops and the streets. I chuckled at the thought of someone creating a bad ass montage of Jack's parkour, featuring the giggling pink ponies that didn't fit with the mood of awesome.
"Jack looks like he's having fun."
"Psh! Yeah I wonder who'll tire out first." Dash said. "My bet's on Jack!"
"Alright. If the Pinkies tire out first, you owe me a milkshake." I said.
"You're on!"
An hour later, we were in Town Square, the pink ponies all tuckered out while Jack was still running in place with two fingers on his neck.
"But... How?!?" Dash said, stunned at the unexpected sight. "I thought you said humans weren't magical!"
Snickering, I pointed to Jack who was pulling out his fourth can of Equestria's equivalent of a Red Bull and downed it. Crushing the can against his head, he squat down in front of a Pinkie next to her ear.
"WOOOOOOT!!! WOOOOOOT!!! WOOOOOOOT!!!"
"That stuff cannot be good for him." Dash said.
"Never stopped him before though. He's gonna be pissing lightning for a while." I said. "Now about that milkshake..."
Then, Twilight and the rest of the girls arrived with the Pinkie who didn't look happy. It started to unnerve me a bit. You know when you've known someone for a while who's always smiling, but then you do something so stupid that you either piss them off, infuriating them or cause them to have deep depression and make them break down crying? Yeah. Even though I wasn't the cause of it, it wasn't a good feeling.
"There you are! Where have-" Twilight looked at all of the out of breath and one hyperactive Jack that was doing one handed pushups. "What in the-"
"Four cans of energy drink." I answered.
"How in tarnation are we supposed ta tell which one is our Pinkie?" Applejack asked.
"Yeah.. How am I do I know if I'm the real me or not?" Sad Pinkie seconded. I really didn't wanna be there. I needed a distraction. It came when I saw Brianna coming our way with Pinkie's pet Gummy in her arm.
"Pinkie, you forgot to tell me what I'm supposed to feed Gummy." She said. Then it hit me like Terry Tate the Linebacker.
Grabbing the baby gator, I took him in the middle of the Pinkies and left him there. The girls were confused as the cogs were turning in their heads. Gummy then crawled back to where the girls were, opened his jaws and clamped them on Sad Pinkie's tail. Fluttershy gasped as she had finally caught the gist of what had just happened and whispered in Twilight's ear. Twilight lit her horn up and shot a spell at all of the other Pinkies. As they inflated and poofed, Rarity had broke the silence.
"I'm sure most of us would like to know what just happened, so if one of you dears can explain?"
Fluttershy, the expert of everything animal, explained. "Well, Gummy here knows who his owner is and can find out who is real and who is fake. Once they've been around their owners as much as Gummy has, they develop a sense to where their owner is."
Pinkie back to her normal self, hugged and cuddled with her pet gator who was still clamped onto her tail. She then looked up at me, grinning with a blush that had made the hairs on my neck stand up.
NO! NO NO NO!!! HELL TO THE NAW NAW NAW!!! NUH-UH, NO WAY, NO HOW!!!
"It was Jack's idea. It was all his! Yup! He was the one who thought of it! It was his plan from the start! He went and told Brianna beforehand to bring Gummy her at this time!" I lied.
Brianna being a big mouth started to call me out, but I covered my ears. "Sis if you keep your damn mouth shut and play along, I'll buy you a milkshake." She beamed and nodded, wanting that milkshake.
"Yeah! It was Jack's idea!" Brianna played along.
I looked to Pinkie, but she wasn't there. When I looked at Jack, he was doing pushups still, but with a little more added weight of Pinkie hugging his torso.
"I! AM! THE! RUNNERMEISTER!!!"
And that's how Jack got his 3rd love interest.