Ash Williams revved his chainsaw, the whirring noise of its deadly, Deadite-slaying chain music to his ears. Except this time, it wouldn’t be used to slay Deadites, not that the little shits he was currently staring at were any more pleasing to look at. Things were about to get very bloody indeed; not that he cared anymore, after all he’d been through.
“Give ‘em hell, everyone!” he called, before rushing forward through the trees with the rest of the crowd
The ugly little toads quickly took notice of the approaching cavalry, and met their charge head on. The group plan initiated, with everyone splitting up into parties no bigger than two members each. The creatures split up in turn, bobbing and weaving through the trees as they sought out random targets.
Quickly the air filled with the sounds of gunshots, squishing flesh, and various other sounds Ash failed to recognize, his chainsaw’s whirring like a soft whistle against the maelstrom of noise. Having so many trees around for sound to bounce off of only made it worse, and Ash had a feeling he’d go partially deaf once everything was finished and everyone had copious pints of blood coating their bodies.
A couple of creatures came charging around a tree towards Ash, their shrieks drowned by the chaos around them. Ash aimed his shotgun and shot two rounds, one each into the monsters’ snouts. Blood sprayed all across his front as the monsters’ corpses were blown back by his gun’s blasts.
“On your right!” called a voice.
Ash turned his head just in time to witness another monster getting punched by a tall, gray-haired man wearing a white tuxedo. The monster was a mere couple feet away from Ash’s head as it got punched, or, more accurately, its face smashed into a bloody, baseball-sized pulp, before careening through the trees under the force of the blow.
“Gotta keep your eyes open and sharp if ya wanna live,” the man said in a calm, yet hard tone.
Ash snorted. “Try giving me eyes in the back of my head.” He capped off his statement by ramming his chainsaw into the gut of another charging monster, sending up a shower of blood and orangish, yellow guts flying everywhere, before he let the body fall limply to the ground.
A couple more creatures went sailing through Ash’s field of vision, before slamming against a couple of trees, their bodies flattening under the impact with two wet splats, sending more blood and guts everywhere. Ash turned to see the tall man crack his knuckles, before regarding Ash with a hard, yet sincere smile. “Name’s Monkey D. Garp,” he said. Without a flinch of his arms, he sent a brutal back kick into the jaw of another creature approaching him from behind, granting it a similar fate to the previous two. “Just call me Garp.”
Ash, to his shock, felt himself mentally recoiling under the casual nature with which the man acted in tune with his violent actions. Clearly, this man, ‘Garp’, had seen his fair share of battles. And if the superhuman strength he was exhibiting was any incentive, the last thing anyone with common sense wanted to do was get on his bad side.
Ash did his best to hide his fear, returning Garp’s smile with one of his own. “Name’s Ash,” he replied, and took aim at another creature which was about to charge a young, purple-haired girl supporting a blonde-haired young man from behind. “Ash Williams.”
He pulled the trigger. The creature was sent hurtling back a ways, while the accompanying spray of blood left a crimson splatter against the back of the girl’s weird-looking clothes, going unnoticed by her as she helped the blonde man out of the forest, away from all the fighting.
“I’ll watch your back if you watch mine,” Garp said, as he smashed his fist down atop the head of another creature, smashing it into the earth and leaving a fan-shaped scatter of blood extending from its head across the forest floor. “Deal?”
“Deal,” Ash replied, and mimicked his new partner by slamming his chainsaw down onto the head of a creature, cleaving it in two and painting the surrounding greenery and his clothes in beautiful, bodiless crimson.
“On your left,” he heard Garp say.
Ash retracted his chainsaw and, without even looking, swung it to his left. He was about one foot away from making contact when a yellow lightning bolt raced through the air, striking the creature in the side of its head. The creature’s agonized cry was quickly cut short as what Ash had to assume was brain matter shot out the other side of its head. As the creature was in mid jump, its now lifeless body continued hurtling towards him, only to be halted and severely torn up by his chainsaw, before dropping pathetically to the ground.
Ash turned to where the lightning bolt had come from. Up in a nearby tree was what looked like a yellow rat with a lightning bolt-shaped tail and red cheeks. Ash watched as the little rodent shot another bolt of electricity towards a trio of creatures, striking through all of them and sending them collapsing to the forest floor like a line of dominoes.
Ash’s brain quickly became a scrambled mess trying to register what he’d seen. Of course, it wasn’t the strangest thing the entire multiverse could’ve thrown at him, but it was a paradoxical sight all the same. Never at his most feminine had he ever envisioned something so ungodly adorable, and yet, the fact that it could shoot electricity contradicted so heavily with such a cute visage that Ash struggled to think of a word to describe the creature.
But one thing he knew for sure, and that was Garp was far, far less intimidating now.
Charlotte and Hermione only ran a short distance along with the crowd before stopping behind a tree, taking refuge behind its particularly thick trunk. Peering around it, Charlotte saw that most of the crowd was meeting the creature swarm head on with various kinds of attacks. All of the Twilight clones had chosen to crowd around the sleeping form of the original Twilight in front of a big, blue train with a face. Such a sight momentarily baffled her before she shook herself back to her senses; her previous conceptions of reality no longer mattered, now that she was in an entirely different one altogether.
“We’d better keep our distance as much as possible,” she said, observing the total chaos of the unfolding battle.
Hermione nodded. “Right. Let’s make our magic work in tandem.”
“Agreed.”
The two stepped out from behind the tree, standing side by side, Hermione with her wand held out and Charlotte with her spellbook open. A group of about five creatures noticed their presence, and immediately bolted towards them in a ‘V’ formation.
Charlotte held up her hand. “Rock Riot!” she called.
The air thrummed with power as a portal appeared up in the air in front of them. A large collection of rocks quickly came tumbling through toward the ground.
“Expelliarmus!” Hermione called with a flick of her wand.
The first rock was sent hurtling through the air under a tremendous, invisible force. It slammed into the frontmost creature, crushing its skull and sending it flying backwards into a nearby tree with a sickening crunch.
“Expelliarmus!”
The second rock followed suit, smashing into another creature for an instant death blow. This process was repeated three more times, Hermione taking extra care to aim correctly so as to not accidentally hit anyone else in the group with friendly fire. Eventually, all the creatures were little more than grotesque lumps of crushed flesh and bone scattered across the forest floor.
Wasting no time, the two girls found another tree to hide behind, a little closer to the thick of the fighting. Without any suitable close range combat capabilities, they needed to keep a fair distance to both be safe and fight effectively.
Charlotte quickly spotted another pack of creatures secluded from the rest. For whatever reason, they were dragging corpses of their dead brethren away from all the fighting, a little ways down the train tracks through the trees. She had no idea what that could mean, but whatever it was for couldn’t be good for the group.
She stepped out from behind the tree, Hermione following right behind. Charlotte pointed out the group of monsters, and raised her hand, ready to cast a spell.
She then jumped at the feeling of someone clasping a hand over her shoulder, joined by Hermione, as a very familiar, even moreso unpleasant voice shouted in their ears.
“So what neato magic trick are you girls going for now, hmm!?”
Both girls broke away from Deadpool’s grasp, turning around and showing him their combined disgruntled expressions.
“What the hell are you doing!?” Hermione practically shrieked.
“Umm, watching you cast magic?” Deadpool tilted his head. “That’s what you were doing, right?”
“Don’t sneak up on us like that!” Charlotte said.
Deadpool just stared at them for a few moments, his mask making it impossible to gauge his expression. Eventually, he raised his finger up as if in sudden realization. “Right. Right. You two aren’t immortal, so of course you’d be more uptight about being snuck up on in the middle of a battle. Alright, I got this.”
Charlotte and Hermione held their disgruntled expressions as Deadpool walked forward, pushing past them towards the secluded monsters. The girls’ expressions then changed to puzzlement as Deadpool’s pace turned rather casual as he stalked up to them, then to disgust as they noticed the creatures had started munching on the carcasses of their dead brethren. Deadpool did nothing to indicate he was similarly revulsed, instead pulling out one of his guns and firing three rounds into the backside of one of the creatures, earning him a squeal of pain from the creature with each one.
The other creatures looked up from their cannibalistic buffet and towards Deadpool just as he replaced the gun and pulled out his twin katana blades. The creatures let out a joined chorus of ear-piercing shrieks that joined those of their brethren throughout the battle area, before jumping through the air towards Deadpool, mouths open wide and ready to grasp their prey.
Deadpool cracked his neck to loosen some joints, sighing with content. “Nothing like a good ass-whooping to get ya going in the morning.” He looked up, his mask shifting as he quirked an eyebrow. “Isn’t it currently supposed to be nighttime by this fic’s timeline?”
The creatures were a mere two feet away from him in the air. The first one hadn’t a chance to scream as its head was sliced neatly in half by a swift stroke from Deadpool’s first katana. The second one met its end by losing its rear to Deadpool’s second blade. With expert precision and swiftness barely visible to the naked eye, the remaining creatures were quickly reduced to scattered, neatly sliced chunks of flesh. Deadpool’s blades, once clean and shiny, were now a handsome shade of crimson that the mercenary stopped to admire for a moment before sheathing both blades and turning to face the two girls, relishing in their looks of mixed awe and revulsion.
“And that, ladies, is how you totally kick a–oof!”
A sudden force to his back cut Deadpool off as he found himself thrown face first to the ground. His first thought was how odd it was that he, fucking Deadpool!, was caught off guard by a seemingly brainless, instinct-driven little shit of a monster. His next thought was he couldn’t let himself look incompetent in front of a couple of kids. Quickly he tried to push himself to his feet, only to be slammed into the ground by a second blow that completely knocked the wind out of him. He then felt a sharp pain on his left shoulder blade— well, ‘sharp pain’ was relative, as he’d long since learned to ignore such sensations after his body had adopted so many bullets. Still, it was clear the creature saw him as a potential breakfast platter, which was foolish of it, but still a potential problem for him to be without a vital limb for more than two minutes.
Deadpool reached with his right hand down toward the pistol holster at his hip, only to feel another sharp pain right over it as another creature bit into his right side.
“Oh, come on!” he screamed and proceeded to repeatedly slam his fist into the creature’s head. The creature let out a few grumbles of acknowledgment to the action but didn’t loosen its grip.
Another sharp pain told Deadpool a third creature had bitten into his left leg. He stopped punching and tried to shake the creatures off, but found them too heavy to do so. The sound of tearing flesh and a sudden onslaught of agony told him he’d just lost about thirty or so pounds of flesh. Fortunately, he still had fifty percent of his limbs, so he still had the means with which to kick the creatures’ ugly little asses.
Dual screams of fear reminded Deadpool of Charlotte and Hermione’s presence, Looking up, he saw Charlotte had her hand raised and her hair blowing as the air thrummed with power, while Hermione had her wand raised. Both girls had horrified expressions plastered across their faces, and Deadpool found himself surprised they even still cared about him.
The girls muttered words Deadpool failed to hear over the sounds of battle. Suddenly, the creature at Deadpool’s right froze stiff, standing upright like it’d just seen a ghost, before falling over to the ground with a soft thump. Two arcs of green energy formed behind Charlotte and rushed forward past her, striking the remaining two creatures and hurtling them back a ways, freeing Deadpool.
“Oh my gosh, are you okay!?” Charlotte shrieked as she and Hermione rushed toward him.
From where he lay on the ground, Deadpool flashed them a thumbs up with his right hand. He rolled over, affording him sight of their relieved faces. “Healing factor makes me pretty much immortal, remember?” He gestured toward the new gaping holes in his body, quickly closing up thanks to said healing factor. “And, uh… thanks for helping me out, I guess?”
“You’re welcome,” Charlotte replied, though her tone only sounded half-genuine. Both she and Hermione turned toward the bulk of the fighting; most of the creature’s numbers had begun to noticeably dwindle. “Let us handle the rest, Deadpool. We’ll protect you while your flesh regenerates.”
Deadpool snorted a laugh. “Thanks, but no thanks.” He pressed both hands firmly into the ground, using every last ounce of strength to hoist himself to his one foot, being forced to hop like a rabbit while he pulled out his gun and aimed it at the creature horde. His brows dipped in a show of confidence, showcased clearly on his mask. “Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor amputation gets in Deadpool’s way where killing and justice is concerned.”
The girls rolled their eyes in bemusement, and the trio made their way closer to the horde. Every few steps, Deadpool would fire a few rounds into the closest creature and, despite being forced to hop on one leg, had excellent accuracy, needing only one shot to kill one creature each. Charlotte and Hermione continued their paired magical tactics, with Charlotte summoning bursts of power in various shapes and forms, and Hermione directing it towards the horde for extra devastating results. Their efforts proved fruitful, as a sizeable chunk of creatures were slain by the time they approached someone in an orange and yellow armored suit, shooting at the creatures with some sort of gun attached to one arm.
Charlotte and Hermione came up on either side of the figure, drawing their attention.
“Petrificus totalus!” Hermione called with a flick of her wand.
A small cluster of creatures before them stopped cold in their tracks, before falling over onto their sides. Charlotte opened her spellbook and, after consulting it for a moment, made a gesture toward the paralyzed creatures. A blue circle of magic appeared in the air above them, from which a volley of icicles descended, goring the creatures and pinning their bodies to the ground. All the while, the suited figure watched the magical display, whatever reaction they might’ve had obscured by their helmet.
“We’ll back you up,” Hermione told them.
The figure only continued to stare at them from behind their visor, though Hermione and Charlotte were too busy preparing another magical combo to take much notice. Another cluster of creatures noticed the group and quickly rushed forward. Hermione raised her wand, and was about to cast another petrification spell when the suited figure held up a stalling hand.
Confused, both girls watched as the figure trained her suit’s arm cannon on the rushing creatures. A quick series of whirring noises emanated from their suit, before a round of blue energy shot forth, impacting the creatures dead on. Almost instantly, their bodies turned white as a thick sheet of ice covered them from snout to foot. A couple of them fell over from the rushing momentum, causing their snouts to break off upon impact with the ground.
Charlotte and Hermione were utterly transfixed by the display, amazed by the technology this person possessed. They were snapped from their awe by another short series of whirring noises coming from the figure’s suit, to which the barrel of the suit’s arm cannon changed shape. They once again took aim at the creatures’ newly frozen bodies, and out from their arm cannon shot a slim, metallic projectile with a purple tip. It sailed through the air almost faster than they could follow it, before striking the creatures with explosive force, sending frozen chunks of flesh everywhere.
The arm cannon returned to its normal state, and the armored fighter turned toward the girls. “Thanks for the backup,” they said in a neutral, yet unmistakably feminine voice. “Can you watch my back?”
Both girls nodded their agreement.
“Don’t think you can leave me out of all the fun!” Deadpool said as he hopped up alongside them. His missing body parts had grown mostly back, though he was still missing his left foot, forcing him to reorient his balance every few seconds.
Charlotte and Hermione spared Deadpool only a brief glance, while the figure held out her hand to the three of them. “I’m Samus Aran,” she said.
The group of three quickly introduced themselves to the armored woman, before they turned to face the rapidly dwindling horde of creatures, their faces all set into determined expressions as they drew out their weapons.
Another small horde of creatures took notice of the four, and rushed them. Samus trained her arm cannon on them, while Hermione and Charlotte prepared another magic combo, and Deadpool aimed dual pistols at the creatures. All battle able, focused, determined, and mentally calculating the correct timing with which to hurl their attacks at the mindless carnivores.
With an earth-shattering slam, the creatures were all squashed under the trunk of a large tree. The suddenness of the impact made everyone’s heart skip a beat as they recoiled backward a bit. Whatever questions their minds could’ve produced were quick to subside as confusion took root in response to seeing the tree trunk lift up off the ground, revealing the creature’s flattened corpses with blood splatters spread out all around them.
The group of four turned to see the base of the tree being held up by a young, yellowish-skinned boy wearing a green jacket, red and white-patterned shirt, and baggy blue pants. Most disturbingly — even more so than the fact that he was lifting a tree easily ten times heavier than his body weighed — was the fact that his face lacked a visible chin.
“Begone, vile mutants!” the boy cried, his face mixed with panic and determination. “I, Ed, shall vanquish you all in the name of Luthor!”
Another group of creatures began rushing him. The boy, Ed, raised the tree above his head and, without a single hint of building momentum, swung it like a bat at the creatures. The sound of crushing bone and sinew could be heard over the battle as the tree smashed each creature all at once, before sending their corpses flying through the air above the surrounding treeline.
The group of four watched the scene with muted surprise. Once it was over, Deadpool broke the silence. “I’d hate to be the sap who tries bullying that kid.”
The sounds of continued battle finally registered to them, and the group of four rushed to take down another cluster of creatures, putting the bizarre sight out of their minds.
Master Hand couldn’t say he didn’t like the thrill of battle and not be lying. Whether he was pitting his creations against each other, or battling against them himself (and letting them win to make them feel better) for his amusement, the joy of beating each other up in the name of good fun was his all-time favorite pastime.
The carnage he was currently witnessing was something different. No fun. No playfulness. Just raw instinct screaming at these people to fight back, lest they be ripped to pieces and devoured like a chicken platter.
Master Hand had no such fears, even if he hadn’t the ability to levitate out of the creatures’ reach. But he couldn’t bring himself to join the fight. He wanted to help these people, familiar or not. And yet, something about all the carnage, all the bloodshed, just felt wrong to him. But to his relief, the group seemed to be doing an adequate job of routing the creatures on their own, so perhaps he wouldn’t need to join the fray after all.
Such a thought fell to the wayside as he scanned the clearing, horror overcoming him as he spotted a stray creature charging Lady Palutena from behind, unnoticed by both her and Pit, while everyone crowded around the blue tank engine with a face were too preoccupied with talking to each other to notice she was in danger.
Master Hand formed a gun shape with his fingers and, with an uncharacteristically soft bang, a missile shot from the tip. The monster quickly became a scattered mess of blood and guts, coating the back of Palutena’s dress. The Goddess of Light and Wisdom made no action of having acknowledged her averted demise, continuing to fight alongside Pit in clearing out the nearest portion of the horde to them.
At that moment, an idea came to Master Hand. Quickly, he floated across the clearing to the divine duo, stopping just behind Palutena and going unnoticed by either of them. With a snap of his fingers, the colorful bricks he’d saved appeared before him, still miniscule as per the effect of his power. Another snap, and they returned to their original size, falling into a pile beneath him.
Master Hand got to work laying out the bricks in a square shape on the ground, trying to work swiftly while being careful not to make any blunders, all while ignoring the sounds of battle around him. Once he finished the first layer, he got to work stacking another one atop it, each click of the bricks sending a joyful chill throughout his body.
A third layer followed the second, which was then followed by a fourth. Then a fifth. He was in the middle of constructing the sixth layer when Palutena finally noticed his presence.
“What are you doing?” she asked. Her tone was calm, yet laced with surprise.
”Building you a platform with which to stand on,” he replied, not looking up from his work. ”You were almost rushed by one of those creatures, but that won’t be an issue with this.”
He clicked the last brick into place, completing the sixth layer. He then turned to face Palutena, expecting to see her beautiful smile, but was instead met with a confused frown.
“Um… thanks, I guess?” She shifted her gaze back toward the fight, raising her staff to launch three consecutive bursts of light projectiles at an approaching creature, before turning back to him. “And you are?”
”Never mind that for now.” Swiftly, he knocked Palutena off her feet and caught her in his palm, earning a surprised yelp from the goddess. Ignoring her cries and thrashing, he lifted her up and gently dumped her onto the platform.
“I didn’t say you could touch me!” she said, getting up and smoothing out her dress. She fixed him with a sharp glare that soon changed into a half-smile, half-apologetic expression. “But still… thanks for looking out for me.” She quirked an eyebrow. “But how come? We don’t know each other.”
”You don’t know me, but I know you very well, Palutena, Goddess of Light and Wisdom.”
“... I’ll ask why later. Right now…” She turned around and took aim at another small cluster of creatures with her staff.
A tingle of excitement shot through Master Hand. He’d just spoken to the Palutena, Goddess of Light and Wisdom! And even more, Pit, Pikachu, Samus Aran, Kirby, and Shulk were all there as well! To have so many of his favorite fighters gathered together before him in the flesh was a dream come true. Not the constructs he was used to, but the actual, genuine articles. Being ripped from his own reality was totally worth it for that lone fact.
As the battle wore on, Master Hand shifted his focus between all the rest of his familiar fighters. Pit fought at the foot of the brick platform, using the familiar Palutena Bow in its dual sword form to hack and slash at small clusters of creatures. Kirby had opted to stay out of the fight, instead focusing on a green, bipedal creature locked up in a cage which seemed rather small for the poor thing, given how he had to hunch over to avoid having his head bump the top. Across the clearing, he spotted Pikachu raining lightning bolts down on creatures within the surrounding treeline, aided by two rather gruff-looking human men, one of whom seemed to be getting a little too much pleasure out of using his chainsaw. A little further away, Samus Aran was joined by two human girls tossing magic around like nobody’s business, as well as a red-suited man with a mask wielding his guns and blades with expert precision.
Just as well, Master Hand found himself fascinated by all the new styles of combat displayed by all the unfamiliar people from worlds he’d yet to glimpse. He felt his creative juices flowing, watching the different types of magic, physical blows, and the various strategies employing them to fight against the monsters.
I believe I might have some new fighters to consider for the next Smash Bros tournament.
The clearing was quick to descend into chaos as everyone charged forward, lashing out at the nearest monsters either with reckless abandon or strategic planning. Both methods resulted in a flurry of motion as weapons and magic met flesh, brutally skimming the creature horde from various angles, yet only adding to the cacophonous orchestra of their shrieks with gunshots, wt splatters, and other sounds of fighting.
Florina was quite used to such a scenario, albeit against humans instead of monsters. Despite her timid personality, she would’ve briskly joined the fray to aid everyone in the battle. But she was completely defenseless without her lance, meaning she’d only be a liability. All she could do was help the blonde-haired boy with the oddly-shaped red sword away from the fighting. It had been apparent to the group that he wasn’t fit to fight with the way he struggled to keep to his feet, using the sword to shakily prop himself up while breathing heavily, his face tomato red.
Florina wrapped the boy over her shoulder, earning her a soft “Thanks”, to which she smiled and nodded before beginning to guide him through the trees. The monsters were all focused on everyone actively fighting, which excluded the people gathered around the big blue thing with the face on the line of wooden planks held together with metallic lines. Florina didn’t bother thinking about the alien technology, choosing instead to shuffle forward as quickly as possible.
At one point, she heard a quick scampering of footsteps coming up behind her, and her face went wide with terror as she knew it was a monster charging her. Panic set in for a moment, only to evaporate as she heard a distant bang, followed by a soft thud behind her as well as a soft splatter of liquid on her clothes. Biting her lip, she picked up her pace, gently urging the boy to move faster as well.
Standing beside the blue thing was a tall, dark-haired man wearing strange clothing, as well as a frightening creature with fish-like eyes and black wings. They had their eyes focused on the surrounding battle, but once they noticed the pair they both rushed to meet them.
“I got you, kid,” the man said as he wrapped the boy’s free arm over his shoulder, the sword still clutched in his grip. “Come on.”
The four of them made their way back to the blue thing. Florina helped the man lift the boy into an opening built into the back side. The boy fell over onto his back, his sword coming to rest beside him as his breathing became more regular.
“Are you, um, feeling better now?” Florina asked, doing her best to speak loud enough to be heard over the nearby sounds of battle.
“Yeah, I am,” he replied, his voice winded. “Just need to rest for a bit.”
Florina breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. In her eye’s corner, she noticed the man and creature looking down at her, to which her smile fell into a soft frown. “Uh, um… hello.”
Looks of curiosity crossed the two strangers’ faces, and Florina resisted the urge to shrink away from them. She may be in an unfamiliar world, and with no way of defending herself, but these people were in the same situation as her and should be treated as allies. With that in mind, Florina stayed rooted to the spot, although she felt her face flush a little.
Eventually, the man spoke up. “Perhaps introductions are in order.” He gestured to himself. “The name’s Bond… James Bond.”
The winged creature spoke up next. “Ryuk.”
“I’m Florina,” she replied with only a hint of shakiness
The blonde boy weakly raised a hand. “Shulk.”
“Shulk…” James turned to him, his expression betraying a hint of concern. “What’s wrong with you?”
“From what Twilight told me, me being ripped from my homeworld is itself the reason why I’m so weak,” Shulk replied. With a couple more breaths, he lifted his body to sit with his legs hanging over the edge of the platform. “This world and mine seem to operate under a completely different set of physics, which is having an adverse effect on my metabolism.”
Both James and Ryuk simply nodded in understanding. Florina, however, grew worried. “But you’ll be okay, right?” she asked. “With a little rest, maybe?”
Her heart pained at the grim look Shulk’s face adopted. “I might not have much time left if I’m not returned home soon.”
”Oh, that won’t be a problem.”
A bizarre figure emerged out of thin air above their heads. While James and Ryuk’s faces remained neutral, Florina’s mouth hung slightly ajar at what she saw. A floating collection of orbs of various colors joined together by some invisible force in the shape of a cross. Down the middle from top to bottom were red, yellow and blue, while white and black ones were held aside them.
The figure brought itself down, coming to rest at everyone’s eye level. The voice spoke up again, but while it seemed to come from everywhere at once, Florina realized the bizarre collection of colorful orbs in front of her was the speaker, going by how James and Ryuk had their gazes squarely on it. Shulk seemed to figure this out as well, staring at the sight with a shocked, yet curious gaze.
”For the newcomers, my name is Aza; the one who brought you all here. The form you see before you is merely my puppet, made from the barest touch of physics, for I am the entire universe in which you inhabit.
I’m well aware of how your world functions, Shulk. When I brought you here, I made sure to bring your home, the Kyoshin, here as well– we all needed a change of scenery, anyway. You won’t die here; I’d never let myself be responsible for killing someone I roped into this little game. That said, you all need to kill off these shriekers before you all get to see the Kyoshin.”
Everyone watched as the air in front of James began filling itself in, a number of small black objects materializing before falling to the ground. They were each thin and flat, about the size of her hand. James’ eyes widened in apparent recognition, and he bent down to pick them all up.
Florina then watched as he pulled out another black object in an L shape from inside his clothing. He then proceeded to pull out a similar-looking flat object from inside it, before replacing it with a new one. Florina figured it had to be some sort of weapon, and if Aza was willing to give one to James, then maybe it’d be willing to give her both her pegasus and a replacement lance!
“Why didn’t you give me more ammo earlier?” James asked Aza’s puppet.
”Because I was busy scouting out the multiverse. Found some pretty interesting stuff for my trouble, too, but I’ll show you later.”
Florina stepped forward. “Um, Aza…” She trailed off, unsure how to properly address the sentient universe.
Aza’s puppet turned toward her. ”Yes?”
“Could I, um… have my pegasus here with me? And a replacement lance. Um… I’d like to fight too.”
A short silence stretched between them, the sounds of battle becoming white noise in the background. It suddenly dawned on Florina that she’d just asked a favor of a being that could smite her with incredible ease. Politely, of course, but her sense of vulnerability suddenly manifested itself with her hanging her head, front bangs obscuring her face. “I… I… um… if that’s okay with you,” she whispered.
A series of hearty laughs brought her attention back to Aza’s puppet, which seemed to bounce in tune to each guffaw, while everyone watched in puzzlement.
Eventually, Aza’s puppet seemed to take an upright posture. ”Ah, Florina, your timidness and fighting spirit really are an unusually harmonious combination.”
Florina could only stare deadpan in response. Then she noticed Shulk, Ryuk, and James briefly shift their collective gaze to her in her eye’s corner, to which she instinctively shrunk in on herself.
”As for your request, I’ll let you fight, yes, but with something far more interesting than what you’re used to as a pegasus knight.”
Once again, an object materialized in the air before everyone, dropping to the ground at Florina’s feet. She stared at it in confusion. The object was about the size of her head and made of curved, dark green wood. It took her a few moments to recognize the object in question as a mask, indicated by the holes where a person’s eyes and mouth would be.
She heard a ‘tsk’ from beside her. Turning, she saw James running off toward a tall, colorful platform in the middle of the clearing, atop which a green-haired woman stood, shooting projectiles down at a cluster of creatures, with a giant white hand floating behind her.
”He’s never one to give British people a good name,” Aza remarked.
Ryuk shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve seen worse.”
“He has the exact same accent as me,” Shulk said to no one in particular.
Florina ignored them, picking up the mask and examining it. It was like nothing she’d ever seen back in Elibe. But even beyond that, nothing about it seemed particularly noteworthy. She ran her fingers over the front, finding the smooth, wooden texture to be of exceptionally high quality. Whoever made the mask was a true craftsman, but she failed to see what combative purpose it could serve.
She gave Aza’s puppet a questioning look. ”Just put it on; you’ll see what I’m getting at. You’ve always aspired to be more confident, haven’t you? Consider this a shortcut to achieving that goal.”
Florina considered this for a moment. Of course, she strove to have more confidence in herself and her abilities, but trusting Aza’s word seemed too risky to be worth it. Who knew what putting on the mask would actually do to her, and whether or not it would spell harm for herself or everyone else? The risks were great, probably more than she was comfortable taking.
She thought it over for a few moments, before her face set into a determined expression. If it meant doing her part in the battle, then the risk was worth taking. If she was to have confidence in herself, she first needed to have trust in her conscience. No matter what happened, she had to believe she could never become an inhumane monster.
Breathing a sigh of determination, she raised the mask to her face. Before she could make it touch, it quickly stretched forward and attached itself to her skin with a will of its own. She cried out in surprise and tried to pull it off, but found it unwilling to move. She felt the power, both strange and intense course through her, running through her body with ferocity to rival that of a Heaven Seal.
The power proved to be too great for her, and she collapsed to the ground, her body convulsing while her panicked cries changed to soft moans.
Ryuk and Shulk watched the display with interest and horror, respectively, while Aza merely laughed as the puppet bounced up and down in an appropriate fashion.
“And I thought I was a sadist,” Ryuk remarked.
James walked briskly towards the colorful platform, holding his PPK in one hand while stashing all the spare clips in his coat pockets with the other. Thankfully, none of the creatures came rushing towards him, granting him a stealthy trip around one side of the platform. He pressed himself against the bricks, shuffled his way to the corner, and peered around to check the situation.
The pharaoh and Pit were both battling their own respective hordes a little ways ahead. Up on the platform, Palutena was aiding them with magic energy blasts or whatever she was using, while some giant, freaky hand hovered around doing nothing to help aid in the fight.
Even though he was very lightly armed in comparison to everyone else, James knew he needed to do his part to keep the horde away from Shulk, and to a lesser extent Ryuk and Thomas.
But especially that Florina girl.
James noticed a couple of stragglers around the creature cluster Pit was fighting. Taking aim, he fired three rounds into the nearest one’s head, felling it instantly. The sound seemed to attract the rest, as they began turning in James’ direction. He quickly ducked around the platform’s wall, then waited a few seconds before peeking back out to find them once again preoccupied with the others.
James fired a few more rounds into another creature’s head, then ducked behind the wall again. This repeated one more time, after which James had to reload his weapon. The next time he peeked out, however, saw him staring down a trio of creatures rushing towards him. He quickly ducked behind the wall again and waited for them to turn the corner, his gun poised and ready. They turned, and he pressed his finger against the trigger.
There was the sound of whistling wind, followed by a meaty squelch as something long and thin sailed into James’ view, impaling each of the creatures neatly like a kabob. James blinked, disbelieving. The object in question was a wooden spear attached to a small, metal chain, with purple and blue patterns running along the length, freshly stained red by the creatures’ blood. Adorning the length’s end was a pair of white feathers that were arranged into the shape of angel wings.
James turned to see who the culprit was, and was half-convinced he’d been knocked unconscious to be seeing what stood before him.
The figure standing before him had the same strange, light clothes Florina was wearing. They were the same height as Florina. Their long, wavy hair was the same shade of light purple as Florina, although now the front bangs obscured their eyes. Their face, however, was what gave him pause. Instead of a regular cream-colored skin tone, the figure’s face was grassy green.
James watched, wide-eyed and rooted where he stood, as the chain attached to the spear began retracting, quickly bringing the spear back into the figure’s waiting hand. They then began marching forward toward the platform.
“... Florina?” James whispered as she passed him.
She didn’t stop, instead continuing her march. James found himself able to move after another couple of seconds, and stepped around the wall to follow her.
He watched as Florina strode a little ways in front of the platform before stopping. The pharaoh and Pit’s respective hordes took no notice of her. She held up her winged spear, took aim, and threw it at the nearest couple of creatures. They were impaled much like their brethren before, their short squeals of agony before dying enough to attract the attention of a sizable cluster of creatures from both hordes. Florina retracted the spear again before storing the entire length and chain in her hair, as if a pocket of hammerspace was contained within.
All the creatures she’d roused grouped together into a third horde, and immediately charged straight at her.
Florina knelt down and grabbed a tuftful of grass in each hand. She lifted them up, and James’ eyes nearly bulged when a large, rectangular section of the ground in front of her came up as well. She flapped it like a blanket before setting it back down on the dirt. Each individual blade of grass appeared to stand up straighter once the ground was put back down.
It soon became apparent why. The first creature that stepped onto the affected section of ground cried in pain as its foot was pierced by a clump of grass like a bunch of knives. Every single following creature met the same fate, rushing momentum causing them all to pile atop each other, leaving the bottommost creatures to be further impaled onto more grass blades. They all squirmed in place, struggling to break themselves free from the grass while crying out in collective, pained agony. Eventually, the creatures all succumbed to their injuries, going silent as death fell upon them.
All the creatures that bypassed the affected ground continued their charge towards Florina. She stood her ground, hands at her sides and posture unflinching. James finally snapped himself out of his awe and levelled his gun at the approaching horde. Although, he could tell Florina was just waiting for the right time to strike.
His hunch was confirmed when, in yet another display of cartoonish physics, Florina pulled a — very medieval-looking — iron hammer that looked to weigh about twenty times her own weight right out of thin air. Immediately, a set of metal spikes jutted from one side of the hammer, neatly aligned and each sharpened to a fine point. James was surprised to feel a small amount of pity for the creatures swell up in his heart for what he knew was to follow.
Florina brought the hammer down on the first cluster of creatures with a giant thud and a spray of gore. Not an ounce of reaction showed in her features, largely a result of her altered face being obscured by her hair. The remaining creatures stopped in their tracks, apparently scared by the display of power they’d just witnessed. Florina took the opportunity for another shot, making another cluster of creatures disappear under her hammer.
Finally, the creatures seemed to realize they were outmatched, as they turned and began running away to join their brethren in fighting the rest of the group. The length of Florina’s hammer retracted into the head, and she brought it down into her waiting open palm. The head sprouted a pair of giant, white angelic wings, before fluttering away in a paradoxical display of gentleness. It trailed behind the retreating group of creatures, quickly catching up and stopping directly above them.
The section for the handle folded out, revealing a tiny black void. There was a low rumbling sound, before a long, thin spear with silver ornaments and angel wings shot from it in a blur of motion, impaling one of the creatures to the ground. It struggled for a bit before going limp. Another spear quickly descended, killing another creature before two more together followed. Then three more. Five. Ten.
Soon a veritable shower of spears was raining down on the horde, keeping speed with the creatures as they ran away in formation, covering enough space so as to not let a single one escape. Every single creature ended up getting impaled, some by multiple spears, each squealing in pain before going silent as death claimed them.
Its work done, the hammer head flew back to Florina, where she petted it like a dog before stashing it in her hair. She looked out over all the carnage she’d wrought, her gaze still hidden behind her hair. James found himself afraid to move, to make any sudden movements. The power Florina had just displayed was both incredible and horrifying. Never in a million years would he want to risk surprising her and get an accidental spear to the face.
Florina continued staring at the sea of bodies for a few more moments, before turning around and making her way back toward the platform and James. Now that they were facing each other, James found the nerve to meet her halfway.
“Color me impressed, Florina,” he said, disgusted with himself for how shaky it sounded.
Florina gave no verbal response, merely tilting her head up, her bangs parting so she could meet James’ gaze. He visibly recoiled at the pair of monstrous green eyes which stared at him. The timid little girl from before was nowhere to be seen in those eyes, replaced by a cold apathy that sent shivers down James’ spine.
James took a step back out of reflex, his brain telling him to put distance between him and the thing in front of him. The action prompted a small chuckle from Florina, the hollowness of it making James’ skin crawl. Florina then threw her head back and let loose a bout of maniacal laughter that, unfortunately, the surrounding sounds of battle failed to drown out.
James instinctively covered his ears, visibly trembling at the awful, soul-wrenching cackle, like she’d been possessed by a vile witch demon. Whatever happened to her, he knew it was the fault of that mask she’d been given. The noble voice in his head was shouting to tear it from her face, an action he was struggling to muster the courage to take. That mask was from another universe; whatever kinds of deadly protection powers it might have were an unknown to him. He wouldn’t have any way to defend himself should it retaliate if he attempted to remove it from Florina’s face.
He thought it over for a few seconds, ultimately deciding it was only fitting for him to die now, after having taken so many lives back home. He rushed forward and grabbed ahold of Florina’s face, interrupting her extended laughter.
“Florina! Get this damn thing off!” He gave an experimental tug on the mask, only for it to remain stubbornly attached to her face, stretching like elastic with wet, fleshy sounds. Everything about the mask’s power seemed like something out of an American animated cartoon, or a cheap comic book.
Florina cried out in pain, and tried to punch James in the face. He freed one hand to block it, then freed the other to deliver a light slap across her face, stunning her momentarily.
“There’s something wrong with that mask.” He grabbed ahold of the mask again and gave a harder tug, but to no effect. “Listen to me!”
Florina broke free of James’ hold, staggering back and rubbing the spots where he’d grabbed her. When she spoke, her voice was deep and menacing. “I… I…” Her gaze went down to her trembling hands. “I…” Suddenly, all the menace in her eyes retracted, replaced by a softness that seemed far more characteristic of the girl.
Her hands went behind her head. There was a flash of green light as the mask came off in her hands, it’s elastic properties on display as sections popped free of Florina’s skin one by one. The mask returned to its original shape, and Florina’s face returned to normal, her eyes wide and panicked. Her hands trembled fiercely, making it hard to keep a grip on the mask.
After a few seconds she shut her eyes tight. With a soft cry, she hurled the mask across the clearing, where it disappeared under Aza’s power before it managed to hit the ground. Florina’s entire body was shaking by now, a look of utter horror splashed across her face, as if she’d just been violated by some unspeakable evil.
James just stood in place, transfixed by Florina’s response to being free of the mask. Only after a few seconds did he remember the battle that was going on, and he rushed forward toward her.
“Come on, let’s get back to Thomas,” he said, reaching to take Florina’s hand.
Florina just kept shaking while muttering gibberish under her breath. James just tsked and grabbed her hand. Florina’s eyes bugged out for a second, before they closed and her entire body went limp. James caught her as she went down, lifting her up in his arms and pressing an ear against her mouth. She was still breathing, just unconscious.
James lifted her up and turned around back towards Thomas, being careful where he placed his hands on her. All around him, the battling started dying down. He’d had enough, though. The last thing he’d want to do is waste all his newly gained ammo. A reliable gut instinct told him he’d be needing it sometime down the line.
Thomas awoke to a scene of mass carnage. All across the clearing the once lush grass was stained red with blood, while the carcasses of countless creatures were littered about like a lot of scrap. He witnessed several members of the group, along with many new faces, taking down the last few remaining creatures. Many were red in the face and looking in need of a good rest. James had gone to help clear out the creatures as well, it seemed, and Thomas could feel someone resting in his cab. Ryuk confirmed his presence with a long, seemingly bored sigh from somewhere beside him.
Being unable to help had left Thomas with nothing better to do than sleep. The creatures couldn’t turn him into scrap, so he didn’t need to worry about being torn apart while asleep. Still, even now Thomas found himself wishing he could help out. Ever since his unwillful arrival, he’d felt quite useless. Without his driver and fireman, he couldn’t move and aid everyone. Even Samus and Pikachu couldn’t be expected to keep taking up the job in their absence, he knew. It all served to make Thomas very sad, but seeing everyone okay kept a spark of joy lit within him.
His gaze wandered around the clearing, looking at everyone in the group before settling on the most bizarre sight of them all. A massive, floating hand alongside Palutena atop a platform of colorful bricks. The entire thing was queer to behold for sure, but even so the hand on its own. It served to remind Thomas just how off the rails he currently was. It would be quite a story to tell the other engines upon returning home, but of course they’d just call him silly without believing him.
He must have been staring for too long at the hand, because it started floating down towards him. How it could know he was staring, Thomas had no earthly idea.
”I suppose I amuse you to some degree if you’ve been staring at me for so long,” it said upon reaching Thomas.
Thomas blinked, unsure how to respond. “... You are a bit queer,” he finally managed to say.
”Aren’t we all to each other?”
“... I suppose so.”
”Call me Master Hand.”
“Thomas.”
Master Hand floated a little closer, shifting his disembodied form from side to side, as if inspecting Thomas all over. Thomas felt strangely uncomfortable under such alien scrutiny.
”I assume you’re unable to fight given you’re just standing here?” Master Hand asked.
“I need my driver and fireman to move,” Thomas explained. His gaze turned downcast, and he sighed pathetically. “I would like to help, of course.”
A brief silence followed before Master Hand said, ”I believe I can make your wish come true.”
Thomas looked up at him, surprised. “Really? How so?”
Master Hand turned upside down, curling his fingers inward. Thomas watched with fascination as a multi-colored ball took shape in his hand. It was as queer as Master Hand himself, but equally beautiful. Its color continuously shifted across the entire rainbow spectrum, while a golden light surrounded the circumference. Most striking of all was the black cross that ran across the southwest corner.
”This is a Smash Ball. Contained within this ball is power. Power to tear armies asunder, level mountains, and fell the mightiest of titans!”
Thomas just stared.
”... Or, in your case, it will allow you full control over your… body, I suppose we could say.”
“Well, then I’ll be glad to take it!”
”Very well.”
Master Hand drew himself back, Smash Ball clutched firmly in his grip. Confused at first, Thomas’ eyes widened upon realizing what he was doing. “Wait, st–”
The ball impacted Thomas’ front buffers with a sound not too dissimilar to glass shattering. He had instinctively shut his eyes, but opened them again upon realizing he wasn’t hurt. Looking down, he was amazed to see his front end was enveloped in the same multi-colored glow as the Smash Ball. Golden wisps at the edges of his peripheral vision indicated the rest of him was glowing as well.
More surprising, however, was the sensation of power coursing through his internal components. It was a completely alien feeling, but it felt great! New awareness of all the levers and gauges inside his cab, and how they connected to all the gears, valves, and pipes inside him. A roaring fire crackled in his firebox, bursting with precious, steam-making energy.
Experimentally, Thomas tried pulling a random lever in his cab. To his amazement, it moved in accordance to his will. The realization that he could now move by his own willpower struck like lightning, and Thomas pulled the throttle lever down hard. His wheels began spinning, slow at first but quickly picking up speed. Smoke shot through his funnel, clouding the sky in a zip streak as he shot down the line.
It was the most incredible feeling he’d ever experienced. Receiving his own branch line was nothing compared to moving under his own power. That time he’d accidentally crashed through the stationmaster’s house had been a sharp reminder that he needed his driver and fireman for both his own and everyone else’s safety. All of that was forgotten under the current feeling of bliss bubbling up inside him, his long-buried conceitedness resurfacing as he reveled in this new sense of empowerment.
Eventually, he remembered why he’d sought to move under his own power, and came to a controlled stop nearby a couple of creature hordes battling the pharaoh and Pit. The two were holding their own against the monsters, but Thomas was determined to lighten their loads. A plan forming in his mind, he let off a great burst of steam, hoping to draw the creatures’ attention. It worked splendidly, as a large cluster turned to face him. The tops of their heads opened up for a purpose unknown to Thomas, before folding back down and the group charged at him.
Thomas quickly reversed down the line, feeling bothered by how slow his wheels were to start up in comparison with the creatures’ adept speed; he needed all the space he could get for a running start. The creatures followed him down the line, chasing him passed everyone else. A few creatures split off to fight them, but the majority kept chasing Thomas. Slowly but surely, he gained distance from the group, finally coming to a stop almost directly in front of the entrance to the mountain.
He threw the throttle lever hard forward. Again his wheels were slow to pick up speed, all while the creatures continued advancing towards him. But he quickly found himself careening down the line, his wheels pounding the rails with unnatural strength. Thomas revelled in the power flowing through his parts. He could easily pull a dozen Express trains with this much strength all by himself. Gordon would be so jealous!
Thomas’ thoughts returned to the present as he came within a few yards of the creatures. They were making no attempt to dodge out of the way, much to Thomas’ confusion and relief. Thomas’ buffers smashed into the first creature, sending vibrations all throughout his frame, while the creature was swept underneath where his undercarriage proceeded to squash it. The force of the impact made him violently rock from side to side, and for a moment Thomas was afraid he’d topple over, but thankfully managed to stay on the rails.
The following creatures were spared a similar fate as Thomas plowed through them, simply being flung through the air before landing with sickening, bone-crunching thuds on the ground. Whether they were killed by this or by Thomas slamming into them didn’t matter. They were dead, and Thomas felt proud to have helped out.
He made his way back to his original spot where Master Hand was waiting for him. Just as he stopped, the glow surrounding him faded away, and Thomas felt his connection to all the controls inside his cab disappear along with it. For a moment he was disappointed, but his buzz over having been useful quickly reasserted dominance
“Thank you very much for the opportunity to help,” Thomas told Master Hand with a smile.
”My pleasure, Thomas.”
Thomas then felt the person in his cab shift. There was a series of audible groans, before a retching sound accompanied the splash of something wet and chunky across the floor of his cab. Thomas’ initial confusion gave way to disgust when he realized what happened.
”Are you okay, Shulk?” Master Hand asked, shifting his attention to Thomas' side.
The person, Shulk, stumbled out of Thomas’ cab. Thomas felt him press a hand against his boiler while slowly making his way forward. “I’ll be fine once all the fighting is done and I’m back on Kyoshin,” he said between wheezing breaths.
”Well, that shouldn’t take much longer.”
“Good,” Shulk replied, coming into Thomas’ field of vision. He was red in the face and clearly exhausted, using a queer-looking red thing to prop himself up. “I can’t go on much longer at this rate…”
“Pardon me,” Thomas said, drawing Shulk’s attention. “When you’re feeling better, might you clean up the mess you made in my cab?”
Shulk just stared for a moment, deadpanned, before replying, “Yeah, sure.”
“Thank you.”
”It looks like the fighting's starting to wrap up.”