Season 3
S3 Chapter 1: Crystal Clear
-Xavier's Recap-
I haven't seen or heard from Shining Armor since his wedding reception as he was driven off, screaming, cursing me, swearing, and throwing around threats practically spazzing out completely. Celestia just couldn't hold in her laughter and Twilight briefly felt satisfied at getting revenge on her bro for not telling her about the wedding and for turning his back on her. Needless to say, it was the best night this year so far. My inner troll had never been so stuffed. Twilight just hoped that it didn't ruin their honeymoon.
Luna had started bringing Rainbow Dash into my dream world by basically pulling her out of her dream and escorting her to mine. She was a bit nervous at first, and even more so when she met Starla Moon, formerly known as Nightmare Moon. She still enjoyed the scenarios I created. I even had the opportunity to show her around my old neighborhood. Heh... neighborhood... She surprisingly got used to being anthro when she finally agreed. Unlike the two Moon sisters, Dash decided not to be so showy with her choice of clothes. She wore a sports bra under her sleeveless jacket that hid her ample breasts (I guess she remembered what I liked from when we played Dead or Alive earlier) with yoga pants that hugged her hips, butt, and legs. She was still hot even without dressing up like a hooker. I mean, you're a Princess for crying out loud, Luna!
As it turns out, this was something she had planned as soon as she realized she could change her form in the dream world. She changed her form into a humanoid hottie for me and wanted me to feel attracted to her again. That kinda made me feel horrible considering much of my time has been spent more and more with Twilight instead of maintaining a balance between my girls like I used to. Although it wasn't her intent on guilt tripping me (judging by her rapid apologies and reassurances of me 'still being totally cool guy'), I felt I still needed to make it up to her somehow. Luckily Luna had temporarily taken Starla off of my hands to do just that for about a week. A week of Rainbow Dash literally in my mind during the night.
Needless to say, we've grown closer again. We've done a lot of things. Taught her how to snowboard (she enjoyed that more than Luna did), how to parkour, basically, just about everything Jack and I do while she was a biped. And hey, remember how I said Rainbow Dash was hot? Simply put, her mind had lost her virginity the final night. We both agreed that had to be done at least once. Dash made me promise to not tell Twilight about being able to enter my dreams for a while. It was nice to spend time with the first female to give me a chance. Fuck you Samantha!
Hiroto has also been getting out more. Sure his reasons are for things such as science, and some of his inventions have unnerved some not so tech savvy ponies that may or may not have thought he was building machines to invade the town, but it was good to see him out. Evil Genius Hiroto! The only thing that's bothering me is that he seems to be working on something that he'd let the guys see it but won't let me see what it is he's working on. Too bad I have three things going on in my life to make me not care.
-End of Recap-
Here we are on our way to Canterlot. Twilight Sparkle once again has business with the Princess and Rainbow had Fluttershy had urged me to go on ahead with her for moral support, even though Spike was coming along. Apparently there was an urgent test that needed to be taken and Twilight was freaking the fuck out.
"Twilight, you gotta relax." I said to the pacing mare.
"I can't relax, Xavier! There's always a chance that I could fail! What if I do and she decides I'm not worth keeping as a student anymore?" She said. Spike was silent, being completely focused on his 3DS.
"Then she'd be a pretty shit mentor, but do you really think a nice princess will ever do something like that to someone she really cares about and have done so much for?" I asked, looking at her with an eyebrow raised. "Sounds like a waste to me."
"I-I.." She stuttered. "I guess not."
I patted the seat beside me. She nodded and sat. I scratched behind her ears and she leaned her head against me in return.
"So what kind of test is it?" I asked, getting Twilight's attention once more. "Algebra, Trigonometry? Maybe it's on something I can help ya out on."
Twilight shook her head. "No, I don't think it's on any of those."
The rest of the train ride was silent.
When we arrived at the train station in Canterlot, Twilight had hopped on my back, wrapping her forelegs around my neck. This is odd. Spike seemed to notice this.
"Gross! You two should get a room."
"Twilight, if you wanted to be carried, you could've just asked to be carried like a 'little princess.'"
Blushing, Twilight shook her head. "No, it's to make sure you don't wander off when my back is turned like you always do."
"Suuuuure." I chuckled quietly. Her reaction never gets old.
We made our way to the castle, the guards not bothering me while the Princess's Pet was on my back. And I'm not referring to Philomena. We traveled through the maze of hallways that still hasn't had any signs installed like I had suggested the royal sisters. Thankfully I had Twilight for guidance to the throne room. Guards stepping aside, I kicked the throne room door open.
"WHAZ GOOD, BITCHES?!" Twilight's mouth dropped at how her mentor and princess was addressed and probably glad that Spike stayed outside.
"Xavier! Did y-you just call Princess Celestia a... a..."
"Whazzup home slice?" Luna said, further disturbing the unicorn mare on my back.
Celestia, being the troll she is, pinned the nail on the coffin by saying, "Iz real good, 'G'."
"DEUUEAUGH!!!!" That did it. Twilight had fell off of my back in a total cringe position. I gave a fist bump to both of the giggling princesses.
"Twas too much for poor Twilight." Luna giggled.
Celestia cleared her throat. "Jokes aside, I have called my student here because we have an important matter to discuss."
"A test, right?" I said, waking Twilight back up with the 't'-word.
"Yes, however it is something I must show Twilight Sparkle alone." she said.
"Okay, cool." I said, still standing there.
...
"..."
"..."
"..."
Okay, yeah I admit that sometimes I wasn't the best at taking hints, even after Celestia's silence and Twilight's hoof tapping. After a long and awkward silence...
"Well?"
"Xavier, I think you should wait for me outside with Spike."
"Ooooh... Just you two. Got it."
Ryu was dodging the Green Charizard's heavy attacks while he was jumping from platform to platform, shooting red flaming hadoukens at him to wear out his health. Charizard constantly had his flame charge attacks halted by them before he was shoryuken'd by Ryu. As they landed, Charizard quickly rolled away from him and used Flamethrower, keeping him at a distance. Or so he thought. Ryu had jumped over on the other side of Charizard with his tornado kick move. Charizard had prepared for him doing this and charged up his smash attack. Unfortunately for Charizard, Ryu had already begun his focus punch. It was at this moment, Charizard knew he fucked up. Ryu had released his fully charge focus punch right into Charizard's gut, stunning him. He then gave the dragon a heavy kick, knocking him off the edge. Charizard was trying to fly back to the edge, but Ryu was having none of it. Ryu had lept off the edge towards Charizard and down-A'd him, sending him rapidly hurling downwards, thus ending the
Xavier's smile grew as he looked at a now annoyed Spike.
"Hey Spike."
"Please don't say it."
"Looks like you..."
"Don't!"
"...just got Spike'd"
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Spike pinched between his eyes, letting out a painful sigh. "Come on, Xavier.."
"Hey. You know I'm da champ." I said, chest puffed out. Yup. The champion is me!
"No, your brother is." Killjoy...
Spike and I have been sitting outside for what seemed like hours waiting for Twilight. I had been training him in the arts of Smash, and he's been getting better. However, it'd be a long journey before the student surpasses the master.
The doors opened and a discouraged purple unicorn stepped out, which caught even Spike off guard. Having hardly ever seen Twilight this way, I looked to Spike. However, he was looking at me the same way I was looking at him. Neither one of us wanted to approach her. So we turned to each other, held out one hand and decided the men's way.
"Rock, paper, Scissors!"
"Jan Ken Pon!"
Peeved at my poor decision to pick paper, I narrowed my eyes at Spike. "You spend too much time with my sister and her friends." In response, he shoved me towards her impatiently. Here goes nothing I suppose. Putting on a smile, I patted her head.
"So how'd the test go?"
"The test has to do with the Crystal Empire north past the mountains." Twilight said without even looking at me.
"Oh. Snowy. I love it already. So what's the problem?" I said, patting her back.
"You don't get it! There are no records on the Crystal Empire. The princess said so herself!" She looked at me with worry. "The Crystal Empire went missing thousands of years ago, and it just suddenly reappears again?!"
"Ah. Magic stuff."
"The princesses want me to take the girls to help, but the task itself is something I must complete alone."
"I guess I can tag along." I said.
"No." Twilight said.
"Aw what?!"
"I have enough to worry about and I don't want any distractions this time." She gave me a look. "And I know how you are."
"Aw come on! It's snowy up there! Please?!" I begged. I really wanted to go. "I'll be on my best behavior!"
"No and that's final!" Twi shouted, stomping her hoof.
"Well, I didn't wanna do this, but I have to now.." I smirked at her. "I guess I'll have to use another-"
"...favor."
Twilight had just finished explaining to the girls how I managed to end up coming anyway despite her wishes.
"Well, we love cold weather. What can I say?" Jack said.
Twilight glared at him. "Yes, which brings me to ask why you're also here."
"Ah told him he could if he wanted ta." AJ said casually.
"But Applejack, why?"
"Why not?" The country mare shrugged.
"Because this isn't a vacation! We aren't here to have fun, Applejack."
Jack and I hid a couple of sleds under the seats.
"Well, darling, I'm sure it won't be too much of a problem to have them around." Rarity chimed in. You tell her, Rarity. She was nice enough to make me and Jack snow jackets.
"Besides, the more the merrier! This is gonna be fun!" Pinkie said, bouncing around the train.
Twilight sighed and looked at me. "You better be on your best behavior. Do as I say to the letter. Got it?"
"You really gotta lighten up, Twi." Rainbow said. "He's not gonna get in the way of anything. Besides, having these guys around always makes things more interesting."
Before Twilight could retort, the train stopped. Looking out the window, we were all looking at a blizzard. Not caring what Twilight said, Jack and I walked off of the train with our sleds.
You'll never guess who we met at our stop.
"Twilight!" An oh so familiar voice called out. He was wearing some winter blizzard gear.
"Shining Armor?"
"Twily, you made it!" He said, removing his head gear. His look shortly turned from happy to worried. "We better get moving. There are things we really don't want to run into after dark."
Grinning, I couldn't help it. "Like me, Sir Shining Armor?"
He seemed to finally took notice of me and groaned loudly as if months of pent up and repressed frustration erupted, making him temporarily forget about what he was worried about. "Why Twily?! Why must you bring him everywhere with- ugh.. Now's not the time. We need to get moving."
"We've got sleds!" Jack said.
Twilight snapped. "Jack, I said this wasn't a vacation!"
"Good thinking Jack. Using those, we'll be bound to get there faster." Did Shining just compliment a human? I thought he hated us! But then again, Jack didn't kick him in the face and isn't mackin on his sister.
"Alright," Jack started. "Who's riding on who's sled?" Twilight, Rainbow and Fluttershy clung to me. Shining rolled his eyes as I chuckled.
"I guess that answers that?"
A while later, it wasn't that long of a stretch when I heard a noise.
"We have to get to the Crystal Empire, now!!"
Almost instantly, Shining grabbed the ropes of both sleds with magic and pulled them from both of our grips, pulling them ahead while running along with them. Jack and I started running, trying to catch up. This was when I noticed that I my long break from parkouring was getting to me a little as I noticed I was getting out of breath. I could hear Twilight telling Shining Armor to stop whereas the other girls were calling for me and Jack. we both looked back at what we were running from, and what we saw made us pick up the pace. Large green and red eyes were floating in a wave of darkness.
All aboard the 'nope' train everyone!
Good news, we could see the shield where the Crystal Empire resides within. Bad news, we two-legged humans were too slow. I could hear whatever thing was chasing us catching up to us. Before I knew it, I was shoved from the side. Looking back, from where I stood, Jack was being launched by a pointy looking shard of black crystal that had erupted from the ground.
"JACK!!" I called out.
He was thrown through the shield from the impact. Seeing as I was right there beside the shield, I didn't bother getting up and I rolled right through it. Whatever it was that was chasing us couldn't get by the shield. Another thing I noticed was instead of lying down in snow, I was lying down in grass instead. Whereas it felt like we were in a nice blizzard a few seconds ago, it felt as if we were in the middle of Spring.
"Hold on ya hear! Yer gonna be fine, now!"
"I'm fine, AJ."
"Applejack please, you're standing too close!"
"Fluttershy, it's just a flesh wound. No biggie."
"Oh I just knew this was a bad idea!"
The weirdness had almost made me forget about what happened to Jack just a little while ago. Sitting up, I turned my head to see AJ biting her hooves while Fluttershy was wrapping a part of Jack's torso with bandages. There was a dark red spot on the upper left part of his back that showed bleeding through the bandages from where that dark crystal shard had pierced him.
"I'm not tasting any blood so that's a good sign, right?" Jack continued, making Applejack even more frantic.
"Somepony get him to a doctor!"
Walking up to everyone else, I held out my hand to my best bro. "You alright there champ? I owe ya one."
This caught everypony's attention.
"Xavier, what do you mean?" Fluttershy asked quietly, yet in a concerned manner. Everyone shared the same look.
I sighed and told him what was what. "What I mean is Jack saved my ass. Whatever that thing was, it was aiming for me. Might not have been as lucky as Jack is here."
"Don't worry about it man, ya would've done the same for ya boy." He said, chuckling.
"That thing was King Sombra." Shining Armor said. "He's a tyrant who used to rule the Crystal Empire, enslaving its population until he was finally stopped. When he was, he took the entire city with him."
"What a major dick." Jack mumbled.
Grabbing Shining Armor by his scarf, I pulled him so we could meet face to face. "Speaking of dicks, what the fuck was that back there, huh?!" I asked through my teeth. "You left us for dead!"
"Yeah! What gives?!" Rainbow added, flying behind him.
"Get. Your. Monkey. Hands. Off of me." was all Shining said. Our eyes narrowed at each other. Our glaring contest was soon enough broken up by Twilight.
"Xavier! Shining! Both of you stop it, this instant! Now is not the time to be at each other's throats!"
Rolling my eyes, I dropped the dickicorn on his back and walked towards the Crystal Castle, which I had correctly assumed we were heading. The others followed shortly, but I could feel the many eyes on us that were hidden among the darkness of all of the buildings we had passed. I was too pissed at Twilight's asshole brother to pay 'em any mind though. I so wanna kick his ass again.
It was a walk but soon we made it to the Crystal Castle. Try saying that three times quickly. Thankfully, the Eiffel Tower looking structure didn't have a labyrinth interior so we knew where to head. After a long exasperating treading through narrow halls, we made it to the throne room. Arriving there, the only pony that was in the room was Cadence, and lord knows that she didn't look well. Fluttershy and Applejack stayed outside the throne room with Jack, per Shining's advice. He was pretty sure that due to Cadence's nature, seeing him all bandaged would have put more stress on her. After letting Twilight and Cadence do their little sunshine dance, she greeted me. I could tell whatever magic she was using was taking a lot of it out of her.
"Hello Xavier." She smiled.
"Heya Cadence. Ya seem a little on the down side. Are you okay there?"
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just a little... tired." She started to collapse, but her husband caught her and helped her on her hooves.
"For your information, she's not fine. The shield keeping Sombra from getting in is her doing and it's taking a lot of magic out of her." Shining said, glaring at me. I wanted to say something about his tone, and bring up the fact that he had almost gotten me killed in front of his wife, but taking the high road, I kept my mouth shut. Though it didn't keep Twilight's, because she could sense the tension I'm guessing.
"Xavier, can you wait outside with the others?"
Without a word, I exited the throne room. Jack was sitting on a cushioned bench while having his bandages changed by Fluttershy. Applejack didn't seem to want to leave his side.
"Hey man, how're ya feelin?" I asked.
"Like shit, but I'll live." he replied, shrugging his shoulders.
"I thought ya said it 'wasn't a biggie?'" I said, nudging his head.
Looking at Fluttershy, he smirked. "Because somebody else's cute girlfriend is takin' care of me. You'd feel like shit too if you were in my shoes." Applejack rolled her eyes while Fluttershy blushed, trying to stay focused.
"Well, if I were in your shoes, I still wouldn't feel like shit because she is my cute girlfriend."
"B-Boys, please.." Fluttershy was having a hard time hiding behind her mane while finishing Jack's bandages.
"Can yall puhlease keep quiet an' let the poor mare work?"
Jack and I did as told, but still wore guilty smirks. My mood now healed. Jack was okay and everyone but Cadence was doing fine, which is something we plan on fixing too. A while later, the rest of the girls had walked out of the throne room. By then, Jack was up and running again thanks to Flutterbutter. Rainbow looked like she was holding in a few thoughts about Twilight's brother. I snatched her out of the air causing her to yelp as I held her. Her mood brightened as she giggled. Putting her on my back, I carried her as I followed the rest of the group out of the castle.
"So what's the plan, Twilight?"
"We need to talk to the local crystal ponies to find out about the Crystal Empire and it's history." She explained. "That way we can do some research to find out how to help Cadence protect the empire without straining herself like she's doing now."
"So go around an answer questions. Got it. Let's go, Jack."
Before I could do anything, Twilight used her magic on the jacket I was wearing to pull me to her as Rainbow flew off.
"Oh no you don't. You're coming with me and Spike." Twilight said, leering at me.
"What? Why though?"
"Leaving you alone, let alone with Jack, is trouble we don't need right now. I'm keeping an eye on you." She said.
"Heheh sounds like you only have eyes for me." I teased.
She blushed. "Xavier! You know that's not what I-.." She paused, blushing more as she heard Rainbow, Pinkie and Rarity snickering. "Whatever. Just come on."
After a half an hour of trying to talk to ponies, we met up again to see if any one of us had any luck. However, only Applejack came back with any useful information. As soon as Applejack said one of the Forbidden Words to Say Around Twilight, I knew where we would be heading. Rainbow and I shared a look of disapproval as we made our way to the library.
As expected, the library was dull and full of books. And we had to search these billions of books for one. This was a Bookworm's true paradise, but the most boring place to me. Jack, Rainbow and I let out loud groans as we started picking books one by one off the shelf. It was a tedious task that drained the life out me. Thankfully Twilight found a book talking about blah blah blah, Crystal Fair, blah blah blah, renew the spirit of love, blah blah blah blah some stupid festival, crystal heart and more sappy shit. We notified Shining Armor and Cadence about what they had found out, made a crystal heart out of a random block of crystal and set it up.
"There. Now we can start preparing for the Crystal Fair. Xavier, I need you to-" She said. However, when she turned to look at me, she clearly saw that I was no longer there. She wasn't happy about it one bit.
"XAVIER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"
Twilight, you are too easy to troll. Never change.
After giving Twilight the slip to avoid more tedious tasks, I met up with Jack as the festival started by a crystal corn stand where he was leaning against a building while chewing on crystallized corn.
"Sup Jack?"
He chuckled. "Twilight's gonna kill you."
"Nah. I'll just hitch a ride on Rainbow." I said, shrugging. "How's the crystal corn on a cob?"
Jack looked at the item in question. "This isn't corn. This crystal on a cob."
"Diamonds on a cob?" I asked
"Houses on a cob!"
"EVERYTHING'S ON A COB!! THE WHOLE PLANET'S ON A COB!!" Jack and I yelled, every pony around us completely missing the reference.
Jack and I hung out for a while until we came by Rarity who was making hats out of hay and other materials while Spike was hanging with his crush
"Heya Rarity? Hey Spike. What's up?" I waved.
Spike looked up at me, then looked back at whatever he was looking at. "Hey Xavier. Twilight's gonna kill you by the way."
"So I've heard." I chuckled. "Mind if I give ya a hand, Rares? I'm pretty good with crafting."
"Sure, darling."
We've made quite a few hats. I've even made my own, but it looked more like a helmet than anything. It was intended for the crystal ponies, but since I messed up, I owned up to my mistake by claiming the hat as mine. A while later, Rainbow Dash had flew up to Rarity and whispered something into her ear before taking off. Rarity I'm assuming whispered into Spike's ear, having Spike take off. Curious, I followed suit, but Jack stayed behind for whatever reason. I tried to catch up to Spike, but again, my waning fitness reminded me that my cardio was low once more. Okay, this is really starting to suck,
big time. Stopping to catch my breath, I looked ahead to see Twilight pick up Spike and rear up to start galloping again.
"TWILIGHT!" I yelled. "*pant* Wait! *pant* Just hold on. Lemme catch my breath.."
Twilight turned around and gave me a look that told me just how pissed she was. "I'm sorry, mister, but we can't afford to wait. Each second we waste will be more strain on Cadence, and who knows how long before she completely exhausts herself, becoming no longer able to protect the empire with her shield spell." Huffing, she pointed a hoof at me. "And we sure as hay don't have time for any more of your stupid jokes! So unless you're done joking around and acting foolish, which I'm sure you aren't, then just stay out of my way!"
She disappeared in a flash.
...
Yeah, maybe I've driven her too far up the wall.
It wasn't long before I decided to follow Twilight anyway. I knew she was mad at me and besides Sombra himself, was the last person she wanted to see at the moment and rightfully so anyway, but I've somehow always ended up being a big help to her in one way or another. I went to the Crystal Castle to start my search. Surprisingly, I didn't have to search long before I came across the throne room that had a purple dragon standing in front of a large hole in the floor. I went for a closer look to see that there was a long and deep stairway that went really far down. From below, I heard sobbing.
"Heya Spike, I suppose that's Twilight down there?"
"Xavier, what are you doing here? Twilight'll flip if she sees you!"
"Yeah, I know, but uh... little intuition tells me that she'll need my help, and judging by the crying I hear-" he cut me off.
"I know but she said-" I cut him off right back.
"I'm going. You gonna come with?"
"Are you sure you wanna disobey Twilight again?" Spike crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow.
I chuckled. "I'm a pro at it."
Spike and I started are long trip down the stairs. As we did, the crying got louder and worse. And by worse, it sounded like she was being tormented in ways I could hardly imagine.
"Spike, what the hell, man?"
"What?"
"You hearin this and you're just standing up there? She's in danger!" I hissed.
"I didn't know! I was just doing what she said!"
I sighed. Can't be mad at the kid for doing what he think was right. "Look. Don't worry about it. She needs a hand whether she wants it or not. Sometimes ya gotta go with your gut feelings."
"I just hope this doesn't mess up Princess Celestia's test."
Gonna be honest. I couldn't give two shits right now.
When we got down there, we only saw one pony, and that was Twilight herself curled in a pony fetal position front of an open door to a wall.
"The hell is wrong with her?"
"Beats me."
"You go talk to her."
"No, I'd rather not."
"I talked to her last time.."
"She's your fillyfriend."
"Yeah. I'm probably the last person she wants to see right now, and besides, she hatched you."
After a short debate, we settled on a quick game of rock paper scissors, and guess who won:
The dragon...
I took a deep breath and approached the sobbing mare. "Twilight?" I shook her gently. It didn't work. By then I noticed that her eyes were green and red and she kept staring at the door to nowhere. So I opened both of my arms wide and brought my hands together right in front of her face. That got her attention and snapped her out of it with a yelp. There were a lot of tears streaming down her face and she looked emotionally winded.
She looked around frantically, panicked. Her eyes soon lied on me and Spike and quickly latched on to me in a tight hug, repeatedly whispering nothing but "I'm sorry." Patting her back, I looked at Spike with an eyebrow raised, confused at Twilight's 180 towards me. Spike shrugged as my attention went back to the trembling mare.
"Look, it's alright. I should be the one who should be sorry. Here I am, messing around when we're on a limited time frame." I scratched behind her back, but my words didn't seem to matter to her much, for she kept apologizing and telling me how much she loved me. My mind was now screaming a line from Blind Witness. What the fuck is going on?!
"Twilight!" I yelled. "What's going on? Get yourself together. We don't have time for this. What's wrong?"
"I-I... I saw you... and you were *hic* and t-then our friends..." Twilight tried to speak.
I looked at her straight in the eyes and made sure she did the same. "Look. Whatever you saw, it didn't happen. It wasn't real, okay?"
She still held on to me. "Please don't leave me.."
"After this is all settled, I'll stay with you until we head back to Ponyville, okay?" She nodded her head to my answer as she started calming down. "Now what the hell happened down here?"
I got my answer when Spike curiously went infront of the door that had no other side. I noticed magic coming from an ornament on top of the door and shot out at Spike, causing his eyes to go green as well. "Aw hell no." I walked up to Spike and gave him a 'Hey Doreen' slap, instantly snapping him out of it.
"King Sombra's dark magic. It's a doorway that leads to your worst fear." Twilight said, looking at me with a smile. "It's times like this I'm glad you're nearly completely immune to magic." Twilight then shot a beam at the ornament that ended up unlocking the door.
This time, I made sure to go ahead in case I need to be a magic blocker. "Alright. Time to keep moving. We got time but very little to wa- AW SHYAT COME ON MAN YA GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME!" I said, looking up at a larger stair well that went up. Told you 'bout dem stairs bro...
"Well, like you said," Twilight said. "We have time but very little to waste." I sighed and followed her on the long journey up.
Well, cardio was going to be my top priority when we get back to Ponyville. It was ten minutes of going up stairs and couldn't take another step. "Can we please.. *pant* take a break? I can't *wheeze* feel my ankles..." Spike wasn't fairing any better with him being shorter than me.
"Xavier, when did you start getting out of shape?" Twilight asked. Is she teasing me? "Hm..." she looked up at the stairs. "I've got an idea. Spike, hop on. Xavier, grab on to me and hold on tight."
I did as told and before I knew it, I felt myself being lifted. Twilight and Spike were upside down, but we were going up a lot faster than we were. I wasn't in the mood to ask any questions, but I enjoyed the reverse zip line.
-Jack's POV-
Okay, so we were supposed to keep the heart secret right? Well, let me tell ya somethin. Easier said than done when you're surrounded by ponies trying to take a sneak peak at the fake crystal heart. And thanks to Pinkie and her wrecklessness, said secret was out. The fake was now at the hooves of the crystal ponies.
Goddammit Pinkie...
"This isn't the crystal heart." a crystal stallion said.
Great... how will we get out of this one? We don't even know what the real crystal...heart...looks like. A grin crept onto my face as an idea appeared in my head.
"Why of course it is, sir!" I said, sporting a big smile.
Being pulled to the side by AJ, she hissed in my ear. "Now what in tarnation do ya think yer doin'? Tellin a fib like that ain't gonna get us nowhere."
Shushing Applejack, I stood up and faced the ponies. "I'm pretty sure you know what the crystal heart used to look like back then, when it got a constant stream of love and harmony energy and stuff, but it's been a long time since it's gotten any." I chuckled. "Surely you wouldn't expect a starved artifact to look it's best after thousands of years now would ya?"
It was quiet as everypony was thinking.
...
"That makes sense." said a random stallion somewhere in the back.
"I can't believe that faulty logic worked.." Rarity said.
"Who cares? We bought Twilight some time." Rainbow said. "Nice going, Jack!"
I thought that would've been it and things would go well from here on out. Not the case.
"But... the crystal heart isn't working. Does that mean it's useless now? How will it protect us from the darkness?"
Yeah, I was pretty stuck there... "I have no idea."
....
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!" screamed probably the same random stallion near the back.
I hope we find the real one soon.
"Yeah, nice going Jack..."
-Xavier's POV-
We reached the top soon enough with Twilight disabling her spell, just as the shield around the Crystal Empire went kaput. At the top was the crystal heart flowing in all of it's glory. Twilight, eager to grab the shiny, charged for it.
"It's A TRAP!!!"
In the blink of an eye, she grabbed the heart, but dropped it as she became trapped by the same kind of crystals that almost stabbed me.
"Twilight!"
Twilight tried to teleport out, but ended up being sucked right back into the trap. "Boys, don't move!" Twilight demanded. "I'm trapped, but fine."
"We gotta get you out of there, Twi. How else are you going to finish your test?" Spike asked.
"Fuck the test!"
"Xavier, she needs to-"
"No Spike, he's right. It's up to the two of you now. Take the crystal heart to the crystal ponies, now. Go!"
At this, I grabbed Spike and the crystal heart and jumped to the edge of the building. Looking down was my first mistake. It was a long way down, and the crystal ponies were all in a panic. I carefully tried to make my way down quietly. What I didn't count on was Spike screaming "We have the crystal heart, Sombra! Kill us both so you can take it!"
Okay, he didn't really say that, but he might as well have. Either way, I ended up losing my footing and went free falling, letting go of the crystal heart, but still holding on to Spike. I couldn't reach the relic anymore, but I figured how he could. Spike knew what to do when I tossed him to it. Sombra was coming for us on his rising crystal platform, fully restored, but before he could grab the crystal heart from Spike, the dragon disappeared in a pink blur. I saw it was Cadence who was flying Spike to the crystal castle where it belonged. Unfortunately, I was still falling. Falling right towards Sombra. The free fall blew my 'helmet' off.
"I will rule the empire! I will not be stopped, nor will my dream!" Sombra shouted in a dark tone.
The moment he looked up, would be the moment I saw the look on his face as he knew what was coming to him. This is for stabbing Jack you asshole.
"FALCON PUNNNNNNNCH!!!"
My fist had connected to his face with a heavy blow as he was knocked off of his little platform, screaming. Then came the blast that put the crystal empire shield back up, and disintegrated Sombra until he was no more. All was well, Sombra was gone. The crystal ponies were happy, the dark crystals were gone, and I'm still falling. Isn't life grand? Looks like this is it for me.
It wasn't, if it's not obvious enough that it wouldn't end for me. I wouldn't die to a free fall if I'm dating the fastest flier in Equestria. I was caught by Rainbow Dash who looked different.
"I gotcha!"
"Thanks for the save, Dash."
"You think I'd really let my monkey boy hit the ground from that height? Psh! Yeah right."
She dropped me off where the rest of our friends were. Everyone looked different. Well, every pony looked different. Everyone was crystallized except for me and Jack, who was also anti-climatically normal. Feh! Why would I wanna be crystally and shiny anyway?
"So how do I look?" Rainbow asked.
"Like sour skittles." I teased, pulling her into a hug. "But pretty cool I guess."
"Hah! You got me beat! That punch you gave to Sombra was totally awesome!" She said, giving me a hoof bump.
There was then a flash, a pop, and then I was glomped by none other than Crystal Twilight.
"You did it! You really did it!" She said, letting go of me. "I'm so proud of you and Spike." She went over to the drake and gave him a nuzzle.
Everyone was smiling except for one of the group. Needless to say, Shining was leering at me a he approached. "I've gotta admit, punching Sombra was pretty cool. Not that it helped, but it was still cool. You've earned some respect from me." Shining said, smiling. However that smile quickly went away. "But I still don't like you, you insufferable ape."
I grinned in his face. Good.
"Break it up you two." Twilight said, walking between us.
Pinkie intervened as well. "Yeah! We finally beat the meany Sombra. Now's not the time to be meanies to each other, but you know what this calls for instead?"
"Pinkie Party...." Jack and I said in unison.
On the way out of the Crystal Empire, Spike managed to slip over something. The girls and I stopped to see what it was, only to find it was a tooth. It was more of a fang. Ruling out me, Spike and Jack being the only ones there with canines, having all of our pearly whites, we came to one conclusion.
A conclusion that caused Rainbow to burst out laughing.
"I knocked King Sombra's tooth out."