Lyra tried to slow her breathing. She could feel cold sweat running down her denim-covered back. She, Vinyl Scratch, and Iron Will were surrounded by nothing but dark trees and darker bushes. Her heart skipped a beat when an owl screeched a warning and flew off his high, oaken branch. The unicorn let out her breath. Chasing down a troll at night in the Everfree Forest was probably not the smartest thing she and her friends could be doing.
The D.J. asked, “So let me get this straight. This dude that we’re chasing has a tree that he’s turned evil and is powered by little kids he turned into dolls?”
“Yes . . . kind of,” answered Lyra. “The corrupted tree needs the wooden dolls to create pods. When these pods hit the ground, they turn into trolls.” Explaining this helped calm the mare. “He needs just five dolls to create his army. During the Crystal Heart Wars, Sombra corrupted the forests for miles around the Crystal Empire. He kidnapped thousands of foals from the towns surrounding the Empire to create his army. He . . .”
“When somepony corrupts, I erupt!” Iron Will declared, holding up his full gallon milk jug. “Only a coward hides from his just deserts. But to be fair, if milk was my weakness, I’d be hiding too.”
Lyra gave the minotaur an annoyed look. “Don’t underestimate this troll. We’ve got to find this creature and fast, or the milk might not be enough to stop it.”
“Hello, is someopos--- er somepony there?”
The group froze. The voice sounded very close.
“Octavia? Tavi, is that you? What are you doing out here?” asked the D.J.
“I . . .,” Octavia’s strained voice paused. “I was looking for you. I saw you run into the forest after that handsomely brave troll, and I lost my way.”
Lyra’s eyes narrowed. Something wasn’t right.
“It’s okay, Tavi. We’re here now,” declared Vinyl.
“I think I twisted my paw-hoof thing. Can you come here and help me back to town?”
“I’m coming.” Before the D.J. could take a step to aid her friend, Lyra blocked her path. “Vinyl, I don’t think that’s Octavia.”
The white unicorn took off her glasses and glared at the denim-covered pony. “What are you talking about? My best friend is hurt. Get out of my way.”
“Listen to me!” shouted Lyra. “The troll we’re chasing is a master of manipulation. This thing can throw its voice and change it to sound like one of his victims. Isn’t it a little weird that Octavia is talking strangely right now? This feels like a trap.”
Slowly, Iron Will unscrewed the plastic lid on his gallon of milk. “But if somepony is in trouble, we can’t stay in our bubble.”
Doubt flickered in the D.J.’s desperate eyes. She looked at Lyra and then to the area behind the mint-colored unicorn where her friend’s voice had come from. Vinyl had just opened her mouth to speak when a disturbing voice said, “Well hello, opossum. Want to see a magic trick?”
“Ye--- I mean No! Nooooo!” screamed Octavia.
Lyra couldn’t help it. She whirled around at hearing the troll’s voice. This was all the opening the D.J. needed as she bolted around the other unicorn, Iron Will hot on her hooves.
“Wait! Come back!” yelled Lyra. She galloped after her friends, but to her surprise, her legs didn’t work. She looked down at them, and to her horror, she found that they were being turned to wood. She gathered air into her lungs to scream a warning but a huge hand covered her muzzle. The last thing the pony heard was the troll whispering in her ear. “It’s okay, it’s okay. The magic trick isn’t anything special. You’ve seen it before. You’re not missing a thing.”
The pony struggled for only a few seconds before she was turned into a wooden miniature.
Rabuf pocketed his latest acquisition and silently made his way towards his other pursuers. He knelt down behind a rotten stump and listened.
“Tavi? Octavia, where are you!?” yelled the white possum. “Willy, do you see her?”
The troll watched the huge jackalope known as Willy shake its head. It pushed through several bushes and looked behind all the trees the white opossum illuminated. Willy snarled in frustration until he saw the small wooden doll Rabuf had left behind a tiny sapling. “Oh no,” the jackalope said quietly.
“What? Did you find her?” asked the opossum.
Willy swallowed. “Yeah, I found her.”
The troll grinned to himself. He must have done a really good job with that particular specimen. The white opossum was weeping in awe of his craftsmanship while the jackalope couldn’t take his eyes off it. Rabuf would have gone up and autographed the figurine for his fans, but Rotnart told him to make for the special tree and to turn anypony that followed too closely into dolls. The troll scratched his head at this conundrum. The things that were following him were now in front of him. “So are they still chasing me, or am I now chasing them?” Rabuf asked himself out loud.
Unaware of what he was doing, Rabuf had stood up to ponder this confusing question. He puzzled over this perplexing situation until something large and white flew by his nose, mere centimeters from his face.
“Argh, Celestia, damn it, Iron Will. How did you miss? He’s literally only like twenty feet away.”
The troll blinked and looked over at the two natives. The jackalope’s features trembled with anger and frustration. “If this were a game, I will admit it would be less of a shame.”
Rabuf shook his head. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up. That was a pretty good throw for a jackalope of your size. By the way, who were you throwing the milk at?”
The veins in the minotaur’s head began to throb. “How dare you mock you me. I’m going to stomp you so far into the ground you’ll end up in Yakyakistan.”
“Where’s Lyra, creep?” asked Vinyl Scratch.
From the troll’s pocket, Rabuf produced the Lyra doll. He looked carefully at the small statue and said, “Yeah, I think she’s too old for the lucky special tree-thing. I’ll make a deal with you two. You stop following me and you can have this pristine figurine for free. I’ll even sign this master piece. What do ya say?”
Vinyl blinked, ‘”Lucky, special, tree?’ Are you talking about the Tree of Harmony?”
Troll shrugged, “Yeah, it’s that big, shiny, tall, bright, wood-thing I’m supposed to do something with, planted in a hole infront of this other castley thingy. Hey, have you guys heard of the opossum of shad---“
Iron Will’s nostrils flared. He let out a wordless cry as he charged the troll.
“Willy, Stop! We gotta get help!” Vinyl cried, but the minotaur ignored her.
Rabuf looked at the jackalope curiously but did not move an inch from where he was standing. Iron Will aimed a blow at the troll’s chest with one massive fist. Casually, the troll raised his hand and caught the punch.
Iron Will was stunned as his momentum was completely halted with so little effort. The minotaur had time to blink before he was turned to wood. The statue fell to the forest floor with a soft thud when it hit the cold grass.
Rabuf looked at the last opossum. The thing’s horn was glowing bright blue as it gathered magic for an attack. But despite this power she was collecting, she looked very unsure and very scared.
Casually the troll reached down and picked up the Willey doll. He slowly walked up to the trembling opossum. “What were we talking about? Eh, must not have been important. Are you still going to follow me? We can still make that deal.”
The unicorn waited until he was but a couple of feet away from her before she blasted him in the face. Vinyl turned and fled at a full gallop away from the troll. She had to get away. Get away and tell Twilight Sparkle about the Tree of Harmony.
She ran and ran for what seemed like hours until she took cover behind a rosebush to catch her breath. Vinyl was about to take off again when she felt a hand on her shoulder. “You forgot your autographed doll.”
The pony’s scream was cut short when her vocal chords turned to lumber.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sunset Shimmer took a deep breath and readied herself. She counted down in her head “three, two, one.” She stepped out onto the stage, the spotlight picking her out instantly. As quietly as a mouse she walked over to a nearby desk and sat. She looked down to find a notebook along with a pencil waiting to be used. After a few moments of scribbling, she heard one of her fellow actors come on stage.
“I’ll be right with you guys. I left my notes at my desk.”
Sunset didn’t stop writing when Rainbow Dash announced her presence.
“Oh, My, Gosh. You’re here,” R.D. said slowly. The teenager sat down next to the ghost and watched her write.
Sunset had to give Rainbow Dash credit. Her performance had improved dramatically. The athlete had to be careful not to look at Sunset’s face and just focus on the pencil. This was a play after all and the students could not see the eternal student, just the things the ghost interacted with.
Rainbow leaned over and looked at what the ghost was writing. “True happiness does not come from a trophy or a grade, it doesn’t come from the place where memories fade. It comes from your heart where real choices are made. Treasure your loved ones for forever and a day, and don’t do as I have or forever you will pay.”
From the corner of her eye, Sunset could see her friend decked out in a school uniform complete with a white and blue skirt and varsity soccer team captain’s jacket. They had deviated so far from the original play at this point that she was sure the drama teacher would have words with them all. The Eternal Student was not a happy play. The ghost was a spirit that forever haunted the school, scaring the students back on the straight and narrow path. But in this rendition of the play, she and her friends had decided the ghost would use a gentler touch.
“Uh, Capt? What’s taking so long?” asked Apple Jack. The girl poked her head onto the set and slowly made her way onto the stage.
Sunset stopped writing.
Rainbow looked up at her best goal keeper with a shocked expression. She was about to tell her that she had seen the ghost but thought better of it. As the team captain, she had an image to protect.
“I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should let Shutterfly off with just a warning for missing those practices.”
A.J. frowned. “Why? Everyone on our team needs to pull their weight. If she can’t make it to our practices, then why is she even on the bench? I think you had it right the first time. The team will be a lot better off without her.
R.D. looked down at what the ghost had written and sighed. “That’s what I thought at first. But it’s not her fault that her grandma is sick.”
Apple Jack folded her arms over her chest. “Tough, that’s her problem. What’s gotten into you, Capt? You didn’t hesitate in getting rid of Gooseberry Pie and Sparity when they couldn’t perform. We are the best of the best, and we didn’t get here by pussy footing around. We got a game one week from now. What are you going to do if Shutterfly doesn’t show up to that?”
Rainbow Dash didn’t speak at first. She was silent until the Eternal Student placed a ghostly hand on the gang leader’s shoulder. The team leader sighed. “I’ve been too hard on the team lately. I shouldn’t have cut Gooseberry when she got food poisoning or Sparity when she was out for two weeks getting her wisdom teeth removed.” R.D. looked Applejack in the eye and said, “And I’ve been too hard on you. You’re my best friend, and I’ve done nothing but push you and the rest of the team harder and harder. And for what? A stupid trophy? A useless title? Our friendship and lives are in tatters, our grades are slipping, we’re not getting near enough sleep, and our parents do nothing but worry about us. Maybe that’s what put Shutterfly’s Grandma in the hospital.”
A.J. blinked. She had not been expecting this from her team captain. She thought about what R.D. had said for a moment before saying, “Mom and Dad have been a mite fussy about my well being for a while now.” She then yawned. “Maybe we have been taking ourselves a bit too seriously lately.”
The captain nodded. “Mine too. If we don’t change, then there won’t be a varsity soccer team in a couple of months.” Rainbow gathered up her notebook and pencil and headed for the door. “Tell coach that I’m cancelling after-school practice for today.”
“Where are you going?”
“I’m putting the band back together, starting with Gooseberry Pie and Sparity. And then I’m going to the hospital. Shutterfly could use a friend about now.”
Apple Jack didn’t hesitate. “Hold on a sec. I’m coming with ya.”
After the goalie had followed R.D off stage, Sunset Shimmer looked at the audience and winked.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Auntie Nelda slowly rose from her seat. Her soft applause was drowned out by the loud clapping of the rest of the audience as the curtain lowered for intermission. “Bravo, bravo, well done.” The old woman smiled at Sunset Shimmer and gave her the thumbs up sign. The teenager picked out the crone in the crowd and returned the smile.
The old woman felt a firm hand tap her on the shoulder. She looked to her side to see Granny Smith applauding along with her. “Which one is yours?” the lunch lady asked, nodding towards the stage.
Ernest blinked in confusion but rallied quickly. “The thespian playing the Eternal Student is my niece. I must say theatre has changed since my day. We didn’t have these fancy cosmetics to make us look dead. If we needed a corpse, we borrowed one from the local funeral home. The rent was reasonable back then, a quarter for every half hour. I don’t know what the rate is now, probably at least twice that.”
Granny Smith stared at the lady for several moments with her mouth open, and then she began to laugh and laugh hard. “Oh my, for a while there I thought you were serious. The name’s Granny Smith.” The elder paused. “Have we met before? I feel like I know you from somewhere.”
Aunty Nelda smiled. “Would you believe me if I said we have met before in the elevator of a hospital? I had just come out of surgery and you had just escaped from your room.
Granny blinked. “Is that right? That does sound like me. Well, it’s good to me you again, . . . uh . . . .”
“Auntie Nelda, my dear Granny. Now which one of those young minds full of mush up there do you claim as your own?”
“The one in the Stetson; her name is Apple Jack. She’s a mite stubborn at times, but I can’t ask for a sweeter apple. Speaking of which, you must be proud of Sunset. I haven’t seen anyone change so much in so little time. Hanging around with my granddaughter and her friends sure helped. But if you ask me, I think it has a lot to do with our new custodian. Those two have been as thick as thieves when he first showed up.”
“A janitor?” The disguised Ernest leaned in close and muttered quietly, “A plunger jokey has been fraternizing with my niece on a daily basis? This is most irregular.”
“I felt the same way when he first showed up. But the man kind of grows on ya, and he’s really good with the kids. Rumor has it he’ll be taking the assistant counselor’s position here in a spell.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” said a masculine voice.
Ernest nearly jumped out of his disguise. Standing right next to his chair was Cranky Doodle.
Covering her thundering heart Auntie Nelda declared, “Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to sneak up on your elders when they are having a private conversation?”
Cranky’s cheeks reddened. He straightened his suit and mumbled, “My apologies, ma’am.”
“That’s quite all right, young man. And who might you be?”
“My name is Cranky Doodle, chief plunger jokey here at Canterlot High.”
Auntie Nelda let out a dry cackle and said to Granny Smith, “And they say men aren’t good listeners.” She turned back to the uncomfortable custodian and offered her hand to be kissed. “My name is Auntie Nelda, dear. But I’m assuming you already know that since you have such lovely and functional ears.”
Cranky eyed the outstretched hand with reservation. He was also very much aware that he was being watched on all sides by students, parents, and faculty. Fighting back a cringe, the janitor lightly kissed the hand of the disguised Ernest P. Worrell.
Granny Smith grinned like a jack-o-lantern, but held her tongue.
Auntie Nelda gestured to the empty seat by her side. “Sit down, lad. Tell me more about this Ernest fellow. What kind of influence is he having on my niece?”
The man’s hand clenched at the mention of his subordinate’s name. “I’ll try and put this as nicely as I can. The man is an incompetent buffoon and probably insane. I’ve caught him talking to himself in different voices every day. It’s like he’s twelve different people in one body. On top of that, he is a danger to himself. A couple of days ago I sent him out to mow the front lawn. He comes back an hour later with his clothes shredded but not a scratch on him. Somehow he managed to run himself over with a little push-mower. I found chunks of his clothes clogging the mower blades. If it were up to me, the man would have been fired on day one.”
“Now hold on just a minute,” Granny Smith piped up. “Ernest might be stranger then wheels on a pogo stick, but he’s got a heart of gold and a work ethic second to none. When Golden Delicious broke her hip a few days ago, it was Ernest who took over for her when no one else volunteered. If it hadn’t been for him, everybody would have been on half food rations that day, because I don’t get paid enough to pull double duty on lunch.” The elder eyed the chief janitor. “You’re not going to run this boy off like you did the others, Cranky. I expect good things from Ernest P. Worrell.”
Ernest tried to keep his face neutral during this back and forth, but his chest swelled with pride from what Granny had said. “Hmmm, it sounds like this Ernest fellow isn’t all bad. I’d like to meet this unorthodox specimen someday.”
Cranky snorted. “That can be arranged. He’s pulling a double graveyard shift tonight. You want me to get him?”
“No, thank you. I like a man who works while everyone else is having fun. It’s people like him that keep this globe we are saddled to spinning.”
“Preach it, sister,” agreed Granny.
The janitor rolled his eyes and was about to comment, but he paused. “Do you ladies hear that?”
“Here what, dear?” asked Aunty Nelda.
The three listened for a moment. Above the loud din of the audience a feminine voice was frantically yelling, “Ernest! Ernest! Excuse me, sir. Have you’ve seen Ernest P. Worrell?”
“That,” said the custodian, nodding in the direction the woman was yelling.
Auntie Nelda began to sweat in spite of the air conditioning. “Hmmm, I don’t hear anything. You must be mistaken.”
“No, I hear it too,” said Granny.
A masculine voice joined the woman’s. “Ernest! Ernest where are you? We got a big troll problem!”
The disguised redneck heard that loud and clear. “Troll problem?” he said to himself.
Cranky stood up from his folding chair. He frowned. “Huh, this is strange. What’s Dean Cadence doing here? Did Principal Celestia invite her?”
Granny slowly got up from her seat too. “Danged if I know. Are you sure that golf cart Ernest found wasn’t from Crystal Prep? That’s the only thing I can think of.”
The janitor shrugged. “Well, either way, I better go find him before the higher-ups have a conniption.”
“That won’t be necessary, sir. He’s closer than you think,” said Auntie Nelda.
Cranky frowned. “How do you know, ma’am? You don’t know him.”
Auntie Nelda smiled as she used her walker for support to stand up. “Unfortunately, I know him better than most.”
It took Ernest less than twenty seconds to tear off his Auntie Nelda disguise and dawn his signature cap. All the while Cranky, Granny Smith, and anyone who was looking in his direction gaped as the old woman transformed into a tall, lanky man.
The chief custodian was the first to recover. No one likes being taken for an idiot, but Ernest in his disguise had fooled him utterly and on top of that, he had kissed his hand. When that particular revelation sank in, Cranky screamed at the top of his lungs, “Worrell, you’re fired!”
Ernest flinched, “But boss, someone needs help, and I . . .”
Cranky cut him off still shouting at full volume. “I don’t want to hear it! You’re fired, you’re done! Pack your stuff and get out now before I . . .”
“Hey!”
All eyes turned back to the stage. Sunset Shimmer stood there glaring at Cranky, her blazing red and yellow hair clashing with her ghostly costume. In her hands she gripped a wet towel that she had been using to wipe off her makeup. “If you’re going to punish someone, punish me. I asked Ernest to be here.” The teenager jumped down from the stage and purposefully walked over to stand by Ernest. All the while, the two voices continued to call for Ernest’s help.
Cranky shook his head. “I don’t care. I told him to clean the school, and he’s here instead disguised as an old hag. This is unacceptable. If he can’t follow orders, he has no place here.”
“Are you serious?” shouted Sunset. “I’ve been a terrible bully for years. I’ve nearly destroyed this school, and on top of all that, I’ve turned everyone into zombies. But in spite of all of that, for some reason this school has kept me around and given me a second chance. Sunset began to tremble with rage, not at Cranky but at herself. “This is my fault, and I am sorry. But I wanted him to be here to cheer me on because he’s one of my best friends. It was Ernest P. Worrell who picked me up when I was down and showed me how to be a better person. Ernest is the sweetest, kindest person to ever walk the halls of Canterlot High, and all I am asking is for you to let us have this one night and then I’ll take whatever penalty you dish out.”
The janitor didn’t hesitate. “My decision is final, but don’t worry, Shimmer. You’ll still get your punishment.”
In response, Sunset threw down the wet cloth in front of the custodian’s feet. “Let me save you the trouble. I’m done with this school. If there’s no room for Ernest, then there’s no room for me. Come on Ernest, someone needs our help, and by Celestia, tonight we’re going to help them.”
“But Sunny, you can’t . . .” Ernest started to say but Sunset was already moving. The crowd of students parted before her. The redneck followed in her wake through the awe-struck crowd. All the while he heard nothing but whispered compliments about Sunset and how she had stood up to Cranky to defend the weird, cross-dressing janitor.
By the time Ernest caught up to Sunset, they were both standing before two seated strangers that were flanked by Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna. The seated woman noticed Ernest and tried to stand up. “Ernest, thank goodness you’re still here. We need you back in Equestria.”
The redneck blinked. “I’m sorry, ma’am, do I know you? I’m usually good with faces, but I’m kind of having a bad day.”
“Ernest, this is Dean Cadence with her escort, Shining Armor. They are both from the Crystal Prep School.”
The custodian frowned in thought. “Hmmm, I did know a Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor from Camelot. They were some good people.”
Sunset Shimmer looked closely at the two seated humans. Her eyes widened as she declared, “They’re from the other side of the portal. This is Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor.”
Ernest gave Sunset a strange look. “Now Sunny, I know we’ve both had a long night and I’m tired too, but I’m pretty sure that if we offered these two lovely people some hay, they’d probably wouldn’t eat it. Know what I mean?”
Slowly, with Vice-Pricipal Luna’s help Cadence stood on her shaking feet. “Blacksmith, Blacksmith, near the gorge, make me a horseshoe with your forge. Stretch it, beat it, form it in a U. And leave it on a fence post as a clue.”
The redneck’s jaw dropped.