Sea of Misfits

by M48 Patton


Chapter 15

Trade Breaker cursed the wind, his anger fueled by the sailing ship that danced ever so tantalizingly close. Though the Marblehead's impressive speed had easily closed the distance between the steel predator and wooden prey, the Bloodhound remained out of reach by choice.
In the early morning dawn with a heavy fog that shrouded the ships, one of Storm Stalker's pegasus crew approached Longhorn's ship only to be chased off by thirty pirates from the Bloodhound. Since Longhorn had the advantage in numbers, Trade Breaker would have to force Longhorn to surrender using ship to ship combat.
Such a task would have been easy, for not only was the Marblehead completely immune to any of the Bloodhound's weapons, but the ship also carried cannons of a nature that boggled the mind. Although the amount of projectiles that Trade Breaker could have lobbed onto the Bloodhound was limited to thirty as the ship carried no more than that when first found, such an amount could have easily destroyed thirty Bloodhounds.
Then there was the ship itself, a steel behemoth whose speed was rivaled by none. With a simple order, Trade Breaker could split the Bloodhound down the middle by using the knife like bow that was currently cutting through the waves.
However, Trade Breaker did none of these things, but instead reduced speed to follow the Bloodhound at a safe distance of a few thousand yards. The reason for such an action was simple; Longhorn held three aces to Breaker's one.
Though Trade Breaker had a far superior ship, Longhorn had a much larger crew, a plan that Trade Breaker was oblivious to, but most importantly, he had one of Trade Breaker's crew tied to the rear of the Bloodhound.
Silent Hooves, the gray pegasus, was firmly lashed to the ship's stern with several of Longhorn's crew holding blades to his throat and crossbows to his head. They had made it clear that should the Marblehead approach, the prisoner would be killed.
Trade Breaker paced the wheelhouse as Culinary held the tiller. The fog was shrouding enough of the sea to leave the Bloodhound a blurry outline in the gray soup, but not enough to obscure her completely. That was problematic, if the fog had been thicker, it would have been enough to mask both ships to allow the Marblehead sneak up on the pirate ship, or had there been less fog then perhaps Trade Breaker could have had a clearer picture of what Longhorn was up to.
As it was, all the elements were against Trade Breaker, and he blamed himself for it. Culinary thought this was ridiculous.
“Don' be a fool, Cap'n.” He argued. “Yer curse ain' da cause of 'dis mess.”
“Course it isn't.” Trade Breaker spat. “Longhorn is, it's jus' that I'm helpin' him wit' his schemes! The fair wind that fills his sails, this cursed fog, it be 'cause o' my ill fortune that follows me.”
Culinary scoffed at this. “Cap'n, da weather be wha' da weather be. Ye 'ave as much to do wit' it as an earth pony.”
Breaker glared at the shape of the Bloodhound through the mist. “Maybe it be 'cause o' me poor judgment. I should've towed the Sea Treader all night and released her in the morn'.”
Culinary sighed, exasperated at his captain's stubbornness. Fortunately, further discussion was interrupted by the arrival of Storm Stalker and Dusk Maiden entering the wheelhouse.
“He's headin' fer Bugganville alright.” Storm said darkly. “Right tae a cozy little harbor.”
“Why would he be headin' fer a harbor?” The captain asked.
“Maybe he wants to get on land?” Dusk suggested. “To get away from our ship?”
Storm shook her head. “Nae, Longhorn wouldnae abandon the Bloodhound if'n we blew out from under him.”
Trade Breaker opened the door to the chart room and stepped inside, carefully selecting a map from the stack. He unrolled it onto the chart table revealing the island of Bugganville and looked over the area.
With an angry bellow, he slammed his hoof down on the table.
“Cap'n?” Storm asked.
“There be a waterway through the island!” Breaker yelled while stepping out of the room.
Storm frowned. “If'n the Bloodhound wit' full sail can mak'kit through, then we shoul' be too. What be the depth o' the channel?”
Breaker shook his head. “The chart didn't say. We follow them in an' see how it goes.”
“But, what if we get stuck and they decide to turn around? We can't fight their whole crew.” Dusk asked.
With a grim face, Trade Breaker looked ahead at the Bloodhound.
“Then we use the cannons, an' blow that ship an' every last pony aboard to smithereens.” He growled.


The next half hour was unbearable for the crew aboard the Marblehead as they watched the Bloodhound sail into the bay and down the narrow channel to freedom on the other side. Then came the Marblehead's turn as the ship cautiously approached the entrance to the strait. Slowly, the ship inched forward into the channel but then with a grinding crunch, came to a halt in the sand.
Trade Breaker was ready for the impact and had braced himself along with the rest of the crew, but he was still blisteringly mad. Storm and Culinary shared his sentiments, but with a slightly calmer attitude.
Storm shook her head. “Tis a low tide, so we cannae be expectin' tae free ourselves wit' the current agin us. Ah figure in aboot an hour, the tide will free us.”
The bridge door slammed slammed shut as Night Watch entered the wheelhouse.
“We don't have an hour.” He announced. “While everypony else was looking forward, I decided to check our rear. You need to see this Captain.”
Trade Breaker wasted no time in throwing open the door and racing outside. The fog was finally burning off as the sun climbed higher into the sky. The sight revealed a collection of fifty ships, all bearing the seal of the Equestrian Royal Navy and being led by an iron dreadnought.
“Celestia 'ave mercy.” Storm breathed beside him.
Trade Breaker was back inside the wheelhouse before a pony could blink, throwing the speed levers into full reverse. Using his wings to pull the phone off of the wall, he called the engine room.


Poisoned Beaker was angry, she didn't like how the captain was treating the engines. First he runs the ship aground and now he wanted full reverse. It was not healthy for the massive turbines to be switched so rapidly.
Grumbling, she closed the steam lines to the main turbines and opened them to the reverse turbines, allowing the super heated steam to begin turning the giant screws in the back of the ship.
Suddenly, Dead Fire opened the door to the boiler rooms with a frightened look on his face.
“Beaker!” He yelled. “We gotta move!”
“What's wrong?” Beaker asked, fearing that something may be wrong with the boilers.
“The whole Equestrian Fleet is heading straight for us!” Dead Fire replied, using his strong claws to turn the various levers and wheels to switch the steam lines.
Beaker's eyes widened and she ran to the next room, performing the same tasks as before to reverse the engines. There was no way she was letting the Equestrian Navy catch this ship, and she had a few tricks up her sleeve should they try.


Sun Flowers raced along the passageway behind Zabramn, carrying a heavy tube that was pointed on one end. They climbed one of the ladders into one of the cannon mounts near the front of the ship. Unlike the twin cannons that were mounted in the cannon box on the focsle of the ship, this cannon was mounted in a rounded barbette on the starboard side of the forward structure just under the wheelhouse.
She lay tube down and panted heavily, she was used to having to carry things around the ship, but never at that frantic pace before.
“So,” she panted, “how does this work?”
The three legged zebra pointed at the various mechanisms of the cannon, opening the small door and instructing Sun Flowers to load the tube she was carrying into the cannon.
“Are you certain that you know what you're doing?” Sun asked, rather nervous.
Zabramn snorted. “After my disgrace to the tribe, my travels became worldwide. An artillery pony I became, one of these babies I know how to aim.”
“Where did you learn that?” Sun inquired, she had never talked much with the scarred zebra.
“In the plains of fire where valleys were made. Through burning battle, I learned my trade.” He said. “The cannons back then were mighty in name, but this cannon here puts them all to shame.”
Sun was not convinced. “Okay, if you say so.”
Zabramn smirked as he looked through the sights. “Have no fear oh doubtful Sun Flowers. Soon you will be awed at my awesome powers.”
The mare huffed at Zabramn's mocking tone.
“I dare you to end a sentence with orange.” She taunted.


“Miss Rose.” A grim voice asked.
Water Rose emitted a slight squeak at the sight of a timberwolf entering the compartment, but did not run.
“Mistah Woody!” She yelped.
“Bring me water.” He growled.
“Yes sah!” Water Rose squeaked before running to the galley.
The little filly grabbed the nearest clean bucket with her teeth and placed it in the floor sink. Fortunately, although she couldn't reach the water spigot that Culinary usually used, there was another spigot low enough for her to turn on.
Water Rose only filled the bucket up halfway because she knew from experience that she couldn't carry anything heavier. Half dragging, half carrying the bucket, she moved as fast as she could down the passageway towards where she left Woody.
Unfortunately because of the bucket, she failed to see a pair of vines that snaked up the floor and to the hatch in the ceiling. With a frightened cry of alarm, she tripped over the small green tendrils and flew headfirst into the bucket.
With some effort, she managed to pull the bucket clear and looked for whatever had tripped her. She was quite surprised to find out.
The spilled water was quickly being absorbed by an offshoot of one of the vines until the deck was completely dry. Water Rose stared at the vine as it bent around itself and shriveled up. The sound slithering frightened her as more vines snaked through the doorway and towards the filly. She screamed as one wrapped around her leg, but a raspy voice cut her off.
“Miss Rose!” Woody said harshly, stepping through the doorway. At least a hundred separate vines trailed his wolf-like form, all were too long to see where they ended.
“M-M-Mistah Woody.” She sobbed. “I-I-”
“Stop crying useless pony!” Woody snapped as the vine circling around Rose's leg suddenly wilted and died, releasing her.
Water Rose couldn't stop though, she was scared and alone with a creature that scared her. No matter how much she had always put on a brave face, on the inside she was still just a small filly that was frightened of big things.
“Rose, stand up.” A kind voice said.
She looked behind her to see the black, chitinous form of Drip standing there.
“Go turn on the water in the galley.” Drip said, positioning himself in between Water Rose and Woody.
The little earth pony nodded before running away, jumping nimbly over the vines that grew ever longer. Once Water Rose was gone, Drip turned to look at the timberwolf, his blue eyes glinting dangerously.
“Let's get one thing clear.” He said quietly. “If you ever make Water Rose cry again, I will turn you into matchsticks and feed you to the furnace.”
“Bold words for changeling.” Woody rasped. “Perhaps I should feel afraid?”
Drip just laughed. “You think you're immune because you're a timberwolf? You think I haven't been able to taste what's coming off of you?”
Woody growled at him, but Drip ignored it.
“You're afraid.” Drip continued. “Not of me, but Beaker. You're afraid that she might not want you anymore. I can taste it every time she steps in the same room with you. That's why you're always so defensive of her, why you keep trying to put the crew down.”
“You know nothing!” Woody snapped.
“Really?” Drip smirked. “Because that's not what your emotions are telling me.”
A pair of vines tried to grab at Drip's hooves, but green fire merely burned them away. Drip advanced on the timberwolf unafraid.
“Listen Woody, I don't have to be telling you this, but I'm doing it because I believe you deserve a second chance.” Drip said, inches from the timberwolf's muzzle. “As much as she's tried not to, Miss Beaker's making friends aboard this ship, and the crew's starting to get along with her as well. You, on the other hoof, have been making yourself a nuisance with your loner attitude. My suggestion is to open up and find a friend, or else Miss Beaker's going to end your sad little life and make a new pet, maybe one that's got some manners this time. And she'll do it too, I know she will.”
Woody shrunk down from the changeling, the color fading from his leaves.
“She thinks of me as a burden?”
“I'm just telling you what she tastes like.” Drip finished.
The arrival Water Rose ended the conversation as she stepped through the door, staring at the many vines that extended from the timberwolf to parts unknown.
“Wow!” She exclaimed. “Where are all the green things goin'?”
Drip chuckled as if nothing had happened between him and Woody as he picked Water Rose up and set her on his back, tickling her playfully.
“They're going to lock down the ship.” He explained cheerfully. “Mister Woody here is keeping the whole ship safe.”
“Wow! Thanks Mistah Woody!” The filly beamed.
Woody nodded hesitantly, his eyes darting around nervously.
“You're welcome, Miss Rose.” He rasped, and then he bowed his head. “And, I am sorry for making you cry.”


Trade Breaker felt the Marblehead shudder violently as the four screws bit deeply into the water, slowly slipping from the sandy shallows. With a sudden lurch, the ship shot backwards as the bow freed itself from the ground.
“Storm, take the wheel!” He ordered as the ship backed out of the harbor.
The sudden flash of light passing by the windows announced the fact that the Marblehead was in range of the unicorn casters as they began to hurl magical bolts at the ship. After the first one passed, the air was suddenly filled with magic. Beams and lances arced towards the side as the Marblehead turned to clear the mouth of the harbor.
Trade Breaker slammed the speed levers forward and the ship responded smartly as Poisoned Beaker dealt with the engines. Water shot from the bow as it split the sea, gaining speed with every passing second. Magical bolts harmlessly pinged off the side of the hull, often times back at the casters themselves.
“Cap'n, they're tryin' tae cut us off!” Storm yelled, pointing at the Equestrian Royal Cutter approaching from starboard.
Trade Breaker switched the phone to call the cannon pointer mounted above the wheelhouse.
“Night Watch! Tell Zabramn to fire a warning' shot across the bow o' that cutter to our starboard!” He ordered.


Zabramn listened as Night Watch's voice came through the little black boxes meant to be worn around one's head and began to adjust his cannon.
“What's going on?” Sun Flowers asked as she helped turned the wheels to move the metal contraption.
“A Navy ship is growing bold. We must turn their blood cold.” Zabramn answered, looking down his sights.
A massive boom thundered inside the barbette as black smoke spewed forth from the end of the tube, a red fireball streaking away. It sailed gracefully through the air before hitting the bowsprit of the Equestrian cutter, the fireball passed through the wood and hit the water with a massive detonation that sent water high in the air.
The bowsprit was sliced cleanly in half, flying backwards from the force of the ropes that had been straining against it. The forward mast of the cutter cracked back and fell to one side of the ship, sending sails down into the water. The cutter was stopped dead in the water as the crew stood helpless to fix their once proud ship.
Night Watch's voice came through the little black boxes again, angry as a hornet in a can.
“You idiot!” He yelled. “I said a warning shot!”
Zabramn shook his head to clear it of the ringing in his ears.
“I'm afraid I may have missed.” The zebra said.


As the Marblehead passed the wrecked cutter, Trade Breaker could see several unicorns still firing spells at the ship only to have the magic bounce off. One of the magical bolts hit the glass on the wheelhouse, where it stuck and sputtered before dying out.
“Them uneycorns cannae get it intae their heads tha' magic doesnae work on the Marblehead.” Storm Stalker grinned.
A spear the size of a small tree suddenly shot over the railing and clanged against the side of the forward cannon box, only to shatter into a million splinters.
“Looks like they brought the ballistas out.” Breaker observed, his eyes looking over the fifty-plus ships that still pursued them.
Storm turned the wheel slightly to clear a small outcrop of land.
“Aye, me an' mah big mouth.” She scowled.
“The armor can take it, as long as they don't aim for the windows.” Breaker reassured her.
There was slight silence on the wheelhouse save for the deafening sound magic bouncing off the hull and the occasional crack of a ballista bolt.
“Oh dear.” The captain said finally.
“Oh dear?” Storm asked.
“Oh dear.” He repeated, staring at the sight of a large white alicorn rising from the deck of the dreadnought.


Celestia was stunned at the sight of several of her ships taking severe damage, almost all from ricochets off of the metal ship.
“Admiral!” She demanded. “Why have we not fired?”
Iron Keel stepped forward. “Our cannons are not in range, and our mortars might hit the island.”
Celestia stared at the ship known as the Marblehead as it steamed past several ships with impunity, ignoring the massive amount of firepower that bounced its hull.
“Pull our ships back.” Celestia ordered.
“Your highness?”
“Pull our ships back.” She repeated, cracking her neck. “I'm going in.”
Not waiting for an answer, Celestia spread her wings and took to the air, rising gracefully above the dreadnought that inched slowly forward. She had to admit, she was quite envious of the pirate ship for its impressive speed, and she wished her ships could maintain such a breakneck pace.
Flying to the forefront of the fleet, she charged her horn, collecting enough power to wipe out a city in the form of a gigantic orb. The very sun seemed to dim at the power, and the air randomly caught on fire near her magic.
Taking aim at the metal ship that had caused her so much pain, Celestia readied herself for a massive shockwave.
“Bounce this!”